The Ramsey Show - App - Delay Gratification Now so You Can Prosper Later (Hour 3)

Episode Date: November 29, 2019

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live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Amy is with us in, woo, I'm missing this up here.

Let me try again. All right, where am I supposed to be? I'm totally screwed up here. All right, Casey is with us in San Diego. Hey, Casey, how are you? Good, how are you, Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up? So I am a recent graduate. I just graduated graduate school, and I have a lot of student

debt. So I was just wondering, what was your opinion on how quickly I could pay back this large debt burden? So what is your graduate degree in? Nursing. You got a master's in nursing? Yeah, I'm a nurse practitioner. A nurse practitioner. Okay, good. And so have you landed a position as a nurse practitioner? Yeah.

My income growth before taxes is going to be $100,000. Okay,000. Okay, good. And you're used to living on nothing because you were a broke college student 20 minutes ago, right? Right. Okay. And how much student loan debt do you have? $209,000. Wow.

Yeah. It's a lot. Yeah. Okay, so I use big numbers here all right 209 000 divided by three would be 70 000 a year if you want to be done in three years and that would put you on beans and rice rice and beans with absolutely no life and all your new doctor friends are going to think you're crazy. But they're all broke, by the way.

There's nothing more broke than a doctor. Do you think that's doable even after the taxes come out of the $100,000? Probably not. It's probably going to take you a little more than three years. But the other thing is you can probably pick up some ER time, and you can probably pick up some side gigs, because you've gotten a degree in a wonderful field that's in high demand, as you know, probably. Yeah. And so I would hope during the next three years that not only can you pick up some side gigs, some ER time or whatever,

but in addition to that, your income will just increase, that you're just starting at $100. Okay. That by the end of three years you might be making 130 right right so when we add all of that in i'm just kind of putting your income on a curve not on a static line and i'm expecting you to work like a crazy person because you ain't got anything else to do right now you gotta get out of debt yeah you don't need to be buying anything. Okay. Yeah. You're broke. So I just started listening to you. Yeah. Before I started listening to you, I did lease a car. Sell it.

And so is there any way I could get out of the lease? Yeah, sell it. Okay. Yeah, you have to. Here's how you do it. You have to find out what the car is worth versus what the early buyout is, which is the equivalent of your payoff. Call and ask them what the early buyout is and then get you a beater

because you're a broke nurse practitioner. Yeah. It feels like you have entered the medical field and you make six figures, but the problem is you have this deep hole that you're in. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I was very excited to get a large salary, and then I kind of realized it doesn't really mean anything. Not yet.

It will. It will. Later on you're going to be okay. But you need to really – you have paid a price to get here in terms of your academics and in terms of your study habits and the length of time you've been in school longer than most and all that. So you know how to pay a price to win. You know how to delay pleasure to get a greater result. And that's what I'm saying.

See, if you come, let's visit the three-year-from-now you. How old are you right now? I'm 25. Okay. Let's visit you at 28 right now. And let's visit you making $140,000, $130,000 a year with no payments in the world. Yeah. See, that sets you up to build wealth very, very quickly,

and that is worth sacrificing to be that girl. Yeah. Okay. And that's what I want you to do. That's what I would tell you to do. That's what I would have you do is don't live like a doctor. Live like a broke college student because that's really what you are right now. And so it's just real easy to go celebrate the graduation and the new job with more debt,

which is what you did with the car. But we probably have to reverse that situation. If you can, if you can figure out a way to get out of it, and that's what you need to do. Heather is with us in Montana. Hi, Heather. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. and figure out a way to get out of it, and that's what you need to do. Heather is with us in Montana. Hi, Heather. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave.

Thanks for taking my call. Sure. So my question is, we have one rental property, and we're wondering where a rental emergency fund would fit into the baby steps, if it should be like baby step one and a half, and about how much we should keep in that. Does the rental property make money? It makes us about $4,000 a year after we pay, you know, that just includes minor, you know, repairs and whatever. Right, right.

So do you have a separate checking account for your rental? Yes. Okay. And do you just leave the money in there? No, we've been just leaving about $500 to $1,000 in there. And then we started the baby steps, obviously, and we did our $1,000 emergency fund. So now we're kind of wondering how much we should put in that one. Yeah, I would let that build up a little bit.

And I would just use other methods on your personal debt snowball. Okay. I'd let that, just let it naturally. I mean, you don't have to feed it. Just let it grow. Okay. And so, you know, it sounds like within six months or something, you might have a couple grand in there. Does that sound right?

Yeah. Yeah, and that's probably enough right now. And then let's get it back up to there, but let it self-generate that. Don't take anything out of it, but don't put anything into it. Okay, and then if after we pay off of our debt, should we build that up even more? Yeah, you ought to keep probably three months of the rental payment in there. Whatever the rent is, about three months worth of that because that would fix a heat and air system that goes out or a roof or a tree that falls or a tenant that moves

out and tears up stuff and you got to go in and redo you know and recarpet and repaint some stuff and you know you're going to pour you're probably not making any money on this much overall it might not even be a property you want to keep. Well, it's attached to our house. Oh, you don't have a choice. It's like a second unit. So our container is wrapped into ours. Yeah, okay. Well, that's good news then.

So you can, yeah, all right. So, yeah, let's just build it up. Let's have a little bit there now, and then let's get up to about three times your rental or four times your rental or four times your rental roughly in their rental uh price so if you rent it for a thousand dollars a month you know three four thousand dollars that kind of a thing that's how you rent that much but anyway somewhere in there thanks for the call open phones at 888-825-5225 you can call in and join us there

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We're glad you're here. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Jack is in Jacksonville, Florida. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show, sir. What's going on, man? How you doing? Better than I deserve. How can I help?

All right, so I'm trying to get started on the baby step process, and I can't get my wife on board. She is 100% dedicated to buying a home, and over the past, I'd say, two years or so, we've been saving to do it, and we've gotten up to about 11,000 liquid, and it's just driving me nuts being in debt. So the other day, I'd say probably about a month ago, I did a Google search on how to get out of debt, and it's just driving me nuts being in debt. So the other day, I'd say probably about a month ago, I did a Google search on how to get out of debt and your name popped up and I've been on the train ever since

and I've been trying to convince her that it's the right thing to do and it's just the hardest thing in the world and I just, I don't know, I'm stuck. How old are you two? We're both 28. And how long have you been married? Almost a year.

We've been together about six years, and we've been married for one year. What does she do for a living? What does she do? She works for Merrill Lynch. Okay. That's the problem. She feels like she's got some expertise in this area would you agree i i don't know in case she's listening i don't want to sound like the bad guy you know

i mean no i'm not saying i wasn't making fun of her i'm saying she's she knows she has some pretty strong opinions about money already before you ever came along or I ever came along. Yeah. And, I mean, with what she does for a living. I mean, what does she do at Merrill Lynch? I don't really know. We don't really discuss work. I mean, is she a financial advisor?

We've got to keep that part out of our relationship. Is she a financial advisor? No, she's not a financial advisor. It's more to do with, like, people's retirements and stuff like that. I mean, but not, she doesn't advise people. She's a manager over there. Okay. All right.

Well, I think what you've got to be real careful is to talk about why it is that you feel the way you feel. You're allowed to have an opinion. Certainly, she's allowed to have an opinion. Okay? Right. And instead of going in and going, hey, I heard this crazy guy on the radio. I Google searched him, and immediately she goes, oh, it's a scam. That's a scam off the Internet, man.

That's what went through her head. A pyramid scam. That's what went through her head. And if scam. That's what went through her head. And if she didn't say it, that's probably what she was thinking. It's what I would have thought if you'd have come and said that to me. So I think what you've got to do is you have to walk through the ideas and walk through why it is that debt bothers you. And this is a big deal to me, honey,

and I really want us to be on the same page about money because the number one cause of divorce in America today is money fights, money problems. The number one thing people fight about in marriage is money and money fights. And this guy actually has a proven system where people don't fight anymore about money. Yeah. And I think we can get on the same page here. Let's at least both of us look through this information you give it a fair look and if you want to argue some points on it that's fine um and uh i'll be happy to listen to that uh but you have to be happy to listen to me

about my opinions on this too because i'm half of this train i'm half of this equation and uh so you know we're not trying to take her vote away from her we're not trying to take your vote away from you uh right but we do do need to get on the same page on how we're going to do this stuff so right i mean that's that's like the second step of step zero yeah getting on the same page yeah so but if you start talking about all the things you need to do rather than why you need to do them, her shields are going to be set in concrete. She's going to put up shields and hold them in concrete. And no one would blame her. But if you go, listen, I really think the right way to buy a house and do it where the house is a blessing instead of a curse is that we didn't have any payments.

We had an emergency fund and I can see how we can get there. Would you please sit down with me with an open mind and look at this and don't cross your arms and stick your lip out. Let's sit down and talk about this and let's look through this and talk about how we can build wealth and how we can work together on really one of life's most difficult subjects. And if you can't have that conversation in your house, then you've got marriage issues. You don't have financial issues.

Right. If she comes to you with anything and says, hey, I really want us to talk through this, and you go, no, I've already made up my mind, you know, well, that's not how you're married. It's not a proper way to do relationships. And so, but I don't think that's what she's saying. I think what she's saying is you found some scam artist on the Internet. And then you came in and told her you had to sell her car.

And this kind of stuff. And instead of talking about why you were talking about what so don't talk about you're absolutely right and um i think i think what it is is i just i see how it works yeah i've done the math it makes total sense it does and i'm so i'm so convinced yep that i feel like she should be so convinced immediately. But she doesn't have the same information you've got. Right. That's an unfair request. And what happened with you was you were already concerned about why,

and then you found a what. She wasn't even concerned about why. And you brought her a what. Yeah. This is what we're going to do. I'm fired up. I introduced her with all the numbers immediately. Yeah, wrong.

You need to apologize. You screwed up. I know. Isn't that what men are supposed to do, apologize? Well, I mean, yeah, if you're wrong, and in this case you were. I mean, you went at this wrong. You went at it like a guy who's been married a whole year. So, hold on. I'm going to send you a copy of the book the total money makeover and the two of you flip through that together maybe if you can just get her to read that and just say listen i screwed

up but i am still excited about these ideas and i really want us to have an intelligent good quality marriage conversation about these ideas. And if we don't do them after we talk it all through, I'll accept that. But because you have a vote and I have a vote. But I really I want you to care enough about my opinion to look at this with me. And then I think that'll work. Maybe after you apologize. So hold on, Kelly.

I'll pick up. We'll get, maybe, after you apologize. So hold on, Kelly, I'll pick up. We'll get you a copy of the book. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Chris is with us in Louisville, Kentucky. Hey, Chris, how are you? Doing well, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve.

What's up? Well, Dave, we are real deep into Baby Step 2. We've got about $18,000 left to crush it. Good. And what I'm calling for today is that I'm in the National Guard, and they have a blended retirement system that you can opt into right now. Right. I have 17 years in. No.

I plan on staying in. Obviously, obviously i'm gonna stay in my 20 and longer if i'm allowed to yeah i don't think when you're that far into it i would go ahead and stay with what you got if you were if you were just getting started i'd probably tell you to do the blended gotcha and you have to crunch the numbers. But you're giving up too much. You're too far in. That's what I thought. I thought the same, and I was like, well, let me call Dave and see what he thinks. I mean, you could sit down with a SmartVestor Pro if you wanted to, and they can actually get a calculator out with your exact numbers

and walk through it with you, and you can make the decision. But every time I've run the calculations on these, the blended works better for the new person in the military. But you're 17. You're three years away from that 20 mark. That 20 mark's a big deal. Yes, sir. Thank you for your service, man.

I think you're going to find, no matter how you crunch the numbers, that you'll stay in. But it's okay to crunch them. It's okay to learn it for yourself. In fact, it's preferable that you do that, but I think you're going to be better off staying in. Hey, thanks for the call. Open phones at

888-825-5225. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. There is no other horse in racing like the thoroughbred. One of the things that distinguishes a world-class thoroughbred is the size of their heart. In fact, after the Triple Crown winner Secretariat died, they discovered that his heart weighed 22 pounds. The size of the average donkey heart? Seven pounds. The right person has an impact on your growing business for years to come.

That's why we try our hardest to only hire thoroughbreds here. The brain is the same size, but a bigger heart will move mountains. And that's why we also trust and use LinkedIn. They are the best at matching the right person with the right job. You can't get a more highly targeted field of thoroughbreds than LinkedIn jobs. Get started today and get $50 off your first job post. Visit linkedin.com slash Ramsey. That's linkedin.com slash Ramsey. Terms and conditions apply. I love debt-free screams. I really love debt-free screams from good friends.

And one of our good friends is here from Timeshare Exit Team to do their debt-free scream. All the way in from Seattle, Washington. Scott and Ashley are in the lobby. Hey, guys. How are you? Hi, Dave. Hi. You did it.

I'm proud of you. Thank you. Well done. How much debt have you paid off? We paid off $35,000 in seven months. Boom. Just like that. I love it.

Very cool. And your household income during that time? We were at the low to mid-100s. Okay. All right. Cool. Very good. Good for you.

What kind of debt was the $35,000? Student loans. Okay. All right. So now we've known each other longer than seven months. We have. A lot longer than seven months. We've been doing work with Tom's Exit Team for several years.

So what happened seven months ago that made you go, hey, that guy's not crazy. I'm doing this. What happened? So I've always been a fan. I've always been a fan of yours. I've been listening to you for a long time and read your books. I couldn't get him on board. Ah.

But we did do Financial Peace University online. Okay. And then a little before seven months ago, we found out from our landlord that we needed to move. Oh. And I knew that we couldn't buy a house. He knew that we couldn't buy a house. And we decided that we needed to get on the same page.

And we needed to... Get in tents. Yeah. The landlord woke you up. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Very cool.

Good. Well, you did it. We did. Very cool. What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? I think the big thing for us was one, listening to her. She already knew. But really, you know, we took financial peace online and honestly, the words about, hey,

this is going to be something that you better get on board with together or else it's not going to work out and not just work out like you're going to be in debt but work out like your relationship. And she's worth more than my money, so I had to get on board. There you go. Cool. Are you glad you did it?

Not a day that we go by that's not thankful for it. Yeah. Amen. Way to go. Will you ever go back? No. No. We've changed our family tree

and we're so grateful for that. I love it. Way to go go you guys very cool who was your biggest cheerleader outside of your house our kid i know it's out it's inside of our house but our kids we have three daughters at home okay and they're 14 11 and 6 and they were with us the whole step of the way. They would cross out and color in a line as we would pay off, make a payment. And they practiced their debt-free screams all the time. And that left a mark on them, didn't it?

Yes. And Dave, I'll be honest, your staff too, even though we're doing business and talking, they were invested in our journey. And they've been rooting for us. They're here today. And they were all just as invested in our success as we were. Yeah, half the dadgum broadcast team is over here to cheer you on, man.

They're not even doing their work. We're excited. Cool. Well done, man. Thank you. Well done. Very proud of you. Excellent.

What was the hardest part of this for you all in the last seven months? I think saying no and being okay with that. Yeah. And, you know, not doing vacations, saying no to vacations that family would invite us on. I think also saying no to things that are good for our kids that we know, but we knew that having that delayed gratification and making a sacrifice now would be so much better for our family and for our kids.

We found blessings in that too, I think also. Kids want to do soccer and piano and basketball and all these things at the exact same time and we just said no one at a time. And as we said that, then we also found all this joy in the family time and we just said no one of the time and as we said that then we also found all this joy in the family time that we gained back from not being as busy with all the other things oh there you go yeah that's good yeah we get too programmed definitely we all do we all do good job well done you got a copy of chris hogan's book for you retire inspired we want that to be the

next chapter in your story that now you're going to become millionaires and outrageously generous as you go along, okay? Looking forward to it. Well done. I love it. Proud of you guys, my friend. Scott and Ashley from Seattle, Washington. $35,000 paid off in seven months. Making mid-100s.

Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Love it! Dead free scream. Three, two, one. We're dead free. Love it. Love it, love it, love it, love it. Man, oh, man, oh, man.

That is fabulous. That's how it's done right there. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. Find out for yourself why Blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings. You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos every month, you save even more. Use the promo code Ramsey at Blinds.com. Nate's in Pennsylvania. Dave, should I cash out my stock for my emergency fund? 45 years old, married, $85,000 income, no debt,

$70,000 mortgage. Tough to get to an emergency fund after doing every dollar budget. I don't have an emergency fund. I recently stopped my 401k to try to fund it. Stock total is around $25,000. Thank you. Yes, I would. Basically, your emergency fund is in stock, which is a really crazy place to have your emergency fund, because about the time you have an emergency is when the stock market is going to go down, or that stock is going to die for some reason or another. So, yeah, I would cash that out and use it for your appropriate baby steps. Get your emergency fund in place, and then make sure that baby steps four, five, and six start to happen.

That's exactly how I would do it. So, hey, good question. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. We're glad you are here. Isaac is on Twitter. Dave, I'm on baby step four working on my retirement, and I'm looking to go back and get my MBA. I'm able to pay for it in cash, but will delay buying a house.

My parents offered to help out. Should I take the help? If the help is a gift and not a loan, sure. That'd be wonderful. If they can afford it. If they're borrowing the money to give it to you, no. If they're loaning you the money, no. That's not help.

That's a trap for both of you. But if they have extra money and they're doing very well financially and they want to gift you some money to assist with the MBA or assist with the purchase of the home, either one, that would be awesome. I think that's cool. But we're paying cash for everything we're doing here in this whole scenario. It's the only way to go. Kelly's in Salt Lake City.

Hi, Kelly. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So my husband and I are going to be selling our home in the summer. We have quite a bit of equity in it, which will cause us to finish step two and three.

Good. I also have been awarded total and permanent disability discharge for my student loans. So what we are wondering is we're hoping to have our credit score go down to zero and go through Churchill. We are wondering, I'm going to be monitored for three years with a discharge. Will that cause any issues with our credit score going to zero? What is going to be monitored? Just your health is going to be monitored? Well, yeah.

So my disability is an autoimmune disability where it's basically caused my hands to close up. So they are going to monitor it for three years to make sure, I guess, so I can't work or all of a sudden. Before they release your student loan? See, that's what I'm not sure. Like, it just says that it's been awarded, but I'll be monitored for three years. Okay.

I have no idea. I don't know if that's something. Yeah, I have no idea what that's going to mean. I hope it means that they've knocked the student loan off of your credit bureau report and they won't be reporting on it anymore. I hope that's what it means. Okay. But I don't know for sure.

I don't know for sure. The fact that you've gotten this award from them, it's usually a real pain in the butt to get that piece of paper. So you've really accomplished something by getting it this far. And you've obviously jumped through a lot of hoops to prove your actual disability because they don't, they're supposed to do that. And it's what's, you know, if you become permanently disabled, student loans, you know, Sallie Mae student loans are forgiven. If you die, Sallie Mae student loans are forgiven. If you die, Sally Mae student loans are forgiven. They don't count against your estate. But, man, going through the process with those people, it is a pain in the butt.

So the fact that you've gotten this far is a big deal. Congratulations. But I honestly do not know what they're going to do with your FICO score, what they're going to do with reporting it to the credit bureau. Ask them. See if they know. They may not know. They're not that competent, generally. But ask them.

This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. Our scripture of the day, Galatians 6.10, Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Ron Tracy said, Be the kind of leader that people would follow voluntarily, even if you had no title or position. There you go. And then that will make you a leader.

Christine is with us in Los Angeles. Hi, Christine. How are you? Hi, I'm good. How are you? Better than I deserve. How can I help? Very good.

Thank you for taking my call. You've just helped me tremendously. I started your plan in August, and I have a quick question for you. Okay. So I'm on board with the Dave Ramsey plan, but my husband is not. He believes in, like, making the minimum payment and keeping the money in the bank. So my husband and I, ever since we met and moved in and all that, we do our finances kind of funky. We keep our expenses, income and bank accounts completely separate. We do everything 50-50 down the line.

We make about the same amount per year. So my question is, I'd like to eventually, you know, after I finished baby step number three to pay off our mortgage early. However, both of our names are on it. So I'm not sure. Can I make an extra payment and deduct that from the balance that I owe or just save up the full amount and then make a big one-time payment to pay it off. I'm not sure how to go about that. Yeah.

Or if that's even possible. Yeah, it's not. It's called joint and several. You're liable for all of it, not half of it. Right. And he's liable for all of it, not half of it. And so there's not a your half, his half. That's the problem with trying to operate a marriage like a roommate.

Right, right. And so how long have you guys been married? We've been married since February, but we've been together and living together for 11 years. And so the problem is living together put in place a pattern of operating that is now bled over into your marriage that is incorrect. Correct. Because here's the problem. There's a lot of data out here statistically that says you guys have problems coming if you don't get on the same page. Number one, on the financial realm, it's very difficult, not quite impossible, but very difficult to build wealth doing what you're doing.

Okay. Number two, it leads to relational problems because you're just leading separate lives. Right. The preacher says, and now you are one, but you're not. Right. He pronounced you guys a roommate. Right.

And now you are a joint venture. You know, that's the way this sounds. And so you're not sharing your future in your checkbook, and so you're not sharing your future. And that tends to happen. Sometimes it takes 10 years to bleed out. Sometimes it takes 20 years to bleed out. But it always bleeds out eventually, meaning it always ends up harming,

most of the time irreparably, the relationship. The trend line on the data is just devastating. It's not to say it can't be done, but you are really on an uphill battle to build wealth and have a high-quality marriage doing what y'all are doing. So I've got to just be your friend and say, I'm going to demand as your friend that you guys not do this anymore. That the two of you, that you fight the fight you don't want to fight, and have the discussion he doesn't want to have, that you have got to get on the same page and combine your finances. And if that requires marriage counseling, that's fine. And the problem is you've done Dave Ramsey so enthusiastically that now I'm a cuss word in his head. True.

I've paid off quite a bit of debt since starting in August. And you've been enthusiastically chasing after this thing. And he's tired of hearing about it already to the point that it's making the communication difficult. The idea of combining it, very difficult. But I think you've got to back up and start again and just say a conversation that says that it's just concerning me a lot. I understand I've been enthusiastic, and I understand I've been fired up, and I understand that that's off-putting to you probably. But this thing of us not handling our money together makes it feel like we're not really married. And I really think we're going to have to work on this. And if we need to sit down with a coach, a marriage coach, a marriage counselor to help us get on the same page, then let's spend the money to do that before it becomes a crisis in your relationship.

Right now, you guys have masked over it because what happened was you got used to it when you were living together. And when you're living together, it's probably the best way to handle it, to keep it separate, because you don't have the legal protections of marriage. But once you're married, you've got legal protections from each other. And as a matter of fact, they work against you in this situation. They work against keeping it separate. For instance, the mortgage thing we're talking about. You can't pay off half the mortgage because you owe the whole thing. He owes the whole thing.

And because they view you, the law views you as one, as married, joint and several. That's what the law says. And so that's one. And you're joint, but you're one. And that's the issue. So instead of trying to figure out a way to make this bad system work, I would say I'd spend my energy working on the bad system and say, what have we got to do to begin discussions, negotiations,

whatever it is, and love each other well enough to say, I'm going to spend my life with you, and so I need to handle my money with you. And my money is your money, and your money is my money. And how are we going to do that? Because that says you're mine and I'm yours. That's a different level of commitment. That's a marital level of commitment. And that's really what you're up against here.

And so, you know, from a Christian viewpoint, Jesus said your treasure is where your heart is. So where you spend your money is where your heart goes. And when you have two different directions that your hearts are going, that means your hearts aren't together. You're not unified on your goals. You're not unified on your fears. You're not unified on your value system of what savings means and what debt means and what giving

and generosity means. And when you're unified on that, then we're there. Sharon and I just prayed about last weekend a sizable gift that we were doing from a generosity standpoint. And, you know, we had to talk it through. And it forced both of us to look at our feelings about things. It forced both of us to have other discussions that weren't even related to the gift. But it was a sizable thing.

It was enough money that it caused both of us to sit up straight, you know. And when you sit up straight like that and you're paying attention it forms your relationship in your marriage so i know a lot of people think they can run separate accounts there's just no data that says you can and there's lots of data that says you can't and i've been doing this 30 years the number of times i've found someone that raises from nothing and the couple is married 10 20 years years, 30 years, and they've got 10, 15 million dollars and they didn't do it together is almost zero. The number of times I have someone do a debt free scream here on the air. We paid off one hundred thousand dollars in debt.

We paid off two hundred thousand dollars in debt. We paid off our house and the spouse is not on board, is almost zero. It's almost zero. And I'm not just preaching at you, Christine. I mean, this is just a good subject for our whole listening audience to really grasp and grapple with. And it is the danger of living together before marriage. Because, again, you set patterns in place that now you're having to reset, and you have 11 years of doing it as roommates.

And now to discuss doing it as a married couple is weird. But if you were never living together before and you just said, hey, we're getting married, that means we combine everything, the preacher says, and now you are one. And the old marriage vows say, unto thee all my worldly goods I pledge. I'm going to take care of you in sickness and in health. For richer, for poorer, you're going to take care of me. This is what marriage is. And there's something there that's really rich and really real. That puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show in the books. We'll

be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, guys, this is Blake Thompson, senior executive producer of the Dave Ramsey Show. Did you know over 15 million people listen to The Dave Ramsey Show every week? And a lot of those people listen to one of over 600 radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, head to DaveRamsey.com slash show.