The Ramsey Show - App - Delony Rant: This Is an Insane Way To Live! (Hour 1)

Episode Date: March 17, 2023

Dr. John Delony & George Kamel answer your questions and discuss: Looking for a new career while paying off debt, What to do with bills in collections, from the blog: How to Pay Off Collections, "Should I sell my house to pay off debt?" from the blog: Should You Sell Your Home to Knock Out Debt? "Protecting your family when you're uninsurable" Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Take our FREE 3 minute assessment: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studio, it's the Ramsey Show where we help people build wealth, do work they love, and create incredible relationships. I'm John Deloney, joined here by George Camel, and we are taking your calls on work, money, life, whatever you got going on, we probably have an opinion on it. Give us a shout at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225.

It is a packed audience out there today, packed, and it's good to see everybody let's go out to john in greenville north carolina what is up john how we doing man hey i'm doing well how are you all excellent my brother what's up uh okay so two questions um i'm looking for some advice and a career change um and i also transition from whole life to turn life and I kind of want to know what to do with the money that they're going to send back to me so I'm 41 I've been in education about 17 years in administration at a middle school can we just stop right there God bless you dude it's amazing thank you I have I have a middle schooler, one, who lives at my house.

Wow. And I'm trying to administrate that. And God bless you, dude. Incredible. Thank you. There is no job on earth you can't do. So there you go. All right.

I appreciate it. Go for it. Yes, sir. So in listening to the show, I've been listening to the show off and on, but I really made a strong commitment back in January of this year. So I went about $121,797 of debt. Of that, it's consumer debt about $60,000. And then the mortgage on my home is about $61,000. So wanting to expedite, you know, getting out of debt, but also realizing that I'm pretty much capped at my salary unless I go into being a senior principal, which the working conditions is worse than what I have now. So I'm thinking about a career change and trying to navigate that.

So are you wanting to change careers because of the income, or are you wanting to get out of administration? And do me a favor, talk directly into your phone for me. Yes, sir. There you go. A little bit of both. A little bit of both. I want to get out because I don't think it's going where I needed to go. Do you want to stay in Greenville? Yes, sir. Okay. What's your current income? $85,000 a year. Okay. All right. Now, you said you have a whole life policy. What would you get from that once you cancel it?

Yes, sir. I've canceled it through Zander, and so they quoted me at about $5,400 and 45 days from when I canceled it, which I think is March of this year. That's what I can expect. And I don't really know. I know there's going to be some taxes involved, so I'm a little worried about that too.

Okay, and do you have any other money right now in savings? My emergency fund, I'm on day two. Okay, so you've got $1,000 in the bank and the rest has been going towards the debt? Yes. What is this consumer debt? Is it student loans? Student loans, yes, and then about three credit cards.

And you've been carrying the student loans for the last 17 years? Yes, including the master's that I got. So it's kind of been a little bit here and there. You've collected some along the journey. Yes. Okay. Are you married? Do you have somebody to pitch in and help, or are you single?

Single. All right. I'm looking to be married, but, you know, working 12 hours a day, it's kind of hard. Man, you're impressive. Well, the good news is making $85,000, can you pay off $60,000? Absolutely. You can be done with this in less than two years.

Okay. So that's not a, I wouldn't change careers because your financial situation is on fire. I would change careers because you want to change careers. Okay. Yes, sir. Do you know what you want to do? Or do you want to stay in the education world? Or do you want something completely different?

I've been kind of looking at some things in IT, and I've taken like a little boot camp course. It was really intriguing. I did well on it. Just a little nervous about jumping into that because it would be entry level, and I need to get certifications and stuff. Finding the time to study for that has also been an issue.

Yeah, I'm going to tell you something. I hate to say this because I've been an education administrator for most of my career. So I think there's an opportunity, and it's going to be a very unpleasant one. As George was pointing out, I think there's an opportunity for 24 months of staying in your current job. Even if you just made one of those chains that you make when you're a kid out of construction paper and you just tear one off every month. I got 24 of these months and I'm going to work these long 10 to 12 hour administrative days. And then on Saturdays and Sundays when I'm not at games and I'm not running around at whatever we're doing, right? At band

ceremonies or whatever, I'm going to start branching out into some of these this it world and you can do part-time it work you can do on the side it work and make no mistake dude in 24 months you're gonna be so tired you're not gonna be able to form sentences you can be exhausted but you will have you will have a paid all this crap off you're not gonna have enough time to go out and do anything and that's good and you're going to have enough time to go out and do anything. And that's good. And you're going to have been able to dip your toe in the water and see if IT is the job for you. This is just me. I may be way out to lunch.

I think that is going to be a tough toggle from being somebody that all these kids love that's, you know, hey, Dr. So-and-so or hey, Mr. So-and-so who gets to help people. And all of a sudden you transition to just headphones on 01111001. Maybe you're ready for that. That feels like an educator's fantasy. Like I just want no kids and no humans and especially no parents. And I just want a screen and some headphones. That will be awesome for about two months. And then you'll be frustrated. I like what George has to say.

I mean, if you clear this up and begin to think like, do I like teaching? Do I like education? Do I want to go teach at the college level? Do I just want to get out of this school district because it's toxic, or do I want to go to private school? I think clearing some of this debt up is going to give you a cleaner slate to think from.

Does that sound right? It does, Yes, sir. So following the baby steps, we're going to ignore the mortgage debt right now and just focus on that consumer debt and make an $85,000. Even if you threw $30,000 of the $85,000 towards this debt, you're done in two years. So my goal is to do it even faster than that and do what it takes, cut the expenses, work on the side if you need to, maybe even do some IT side work to start dipping your toes in that water. But here's what that's going to do for you. Once you're debt-free, you could take a pay cut. You could take an entry-level IT job making 50 or 60 and make that

work if you're debt-free. And so that would be my fuel to get debt-free even faster is knowing that's on the other side. And John, we also run into people all the time who are debt-free and they're working at a pretty toxic job. And then they have this newfound power, this newfound freedom that when the boss says, hey, I need you to, I know I didn't tell you, I'm so sorry. It's Friday afternoon at four o'clock. I need you to be here tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. to open up the doors for the band concert. And you just look at him and you go, I'm not doing that. Like I've already got plans. I'm not going to be here.

And you owe nobody anything. And it's basically, I call, I call you, I'm put your cards on the table. You're not going to fire me. And they don't, they find somebody else.

They just been picking on you. And you just been saying yes. Cause you're, you think you're 120 grand in the hole and you can't breathe, man, you clear that stuff up and your job, suddenly the light comes on a little bit and it becomes more of something that's going to make you happy and not something that's just killing you. John, I'm going to send you our friend Ken Coleman's Get Clear assessment to help you with the career side and EveryDollarPlus to help you on the financial side when it comes to making a plan for these dollars. Love it,

love it, love it. Thanks for the call, John. 888-825-5225. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, you guys. Health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are longer, and it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the bureaucracy. So if you feel like the system is working against you, try a biblically based alternative to health insurance, Christian Healthcare Ministries. CHM is a health cost sharing ministry that's helped hundreds of thousands of families like yours take care of over $11 billion in medical bills since 1981. And CHM has also helped them stay true to their values and avoid miles of red tape. And CHM support goes far beyond meeting financial needs. They'll also help meet spiritual needs.

Members become part of a family who will pray with them and for them when they experience a medical event. So listen, y'all, there's no better way to take care of health care costs. CHM programs start as low as $98 a month. So learn more today and join at chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget. Welcome back. This is the Ramsey Show, 888-825-5225. We're talking money, mental health, marriage, life, whatever's going on in your life. Give us a shout.

888-825-5225. I'm John Deloney, joined here by George the Great Camel. Wow. I forgot that was my middle name. It is. I love it. The Great. That's what you've asked us to call you, so there you go.

Self-proclaimed. Well, John, I'm on the internet, and I see this article, and it just, I thought, I like to grind your gears, and so I think this one might do that. I want to get your take on it, and here's the gist of the story. It's my hot take, as the kids say, right? Yes. Please never use that term. You got it.

We're done with that. Okay. So this woman recently gives birth, and her husband demands that she pay the entire hospital bill herself. Now there's more to the story. They've been married seven years. She just had her, their first baby three months ago. They split everything in their marriage 50-50 when it comes to finances and generally keep their money separate. And everything seemed to be going pretty well until they received a hospital bill for this birth. So here's the deal. She planned to give birth without any medication, but after 24 hours of labor, decided to do the epidural.

And when the bill came, her husband expected her to pay the entire eight grand bill herself. And when she asked why, he said, you're the one who couldn't hold out for a few more hours. And you jacked up the bill. And I shouldn't have to pay for all these extra requests and then finally if she wanted luxury she should expect to pay for it oh my god if you tried that on sheila what would happen what hell would break loose here's the thing i wouldn't even be i wouldn't know you wouldn't get the sentence because by the time those words left my mouth, I would already be at the gates. And I don't know which set of gates I would be at if I said something like this. Now, if you're wondering all the extra, you know, what jacked up this bill?

Well, of course, the epidural, very expensive. Lactation consultant, nursery fee, extra night stay, postpartum supplies, any food she ate. So all of that made the bill go up. And so he goes, well, that was your decision, any food she ate. So all of that made the bill go up. And so he goes, well, that was your decision. So you should pay for that. That's not coming out of my pile of pot. So she ended up paying the entire bill on her own. And she's now wondering and questioning, are her feelings valid, John? Okay. So I had somebody call my show a few years ago and here's the question. She had a two-year-old and a seven-month-old and

she was with her boyfriend and he let her know um i want to let you know that um i'm not considering you for for the role of my wife but two things you're gonna have to a get my house back in order because this place is a wreck like you're just not taking care of the house and b you're gonna have to get your body back because let's be honest you let that sucker go and when you get that back and she and here's the deal she was calling me to ask how she could be more disciplined and i was like oh honey like oh man i've got a few friends that would not mind going back to jail what's his address all right so it's a it's a it's easy when you're when somebody is is so is gaslighting you so bad is is so out to lunch you think you're the crazy look in the mirror and be like oh it must clearly

it's me i'm the problem it's not them yes they've been very clear that it's it's not it's not them it's me i'm the problem yes wow so this is an abusive relationship very clearly but it's an insane relationship and but here's the thing i do want to call out to there's i don't have 10 million people listening right now half of you and i know it's half of you because that's how much negative negative press we get i'm never gonna i'm not gonna i'm not gonna share a checking account i'm not gonna share bills we split this going to share a checking account. I'm not going to share bills. We split this thing 50 50. This is the end result of that. And if it's not, if you're like, no, no, no. I mean, I would help with the, with the baby. Where's your line, dude. When you

set up a, my life in your life and we're married under the same roof, this is the root of that crap that happens, right? This is, this is the end result down the road of people who don't say hey we're married we're in come hell or high water we're both in on this deal this is that bull crap like oh sorry bro you should just held out bro somebody's driving a truck through you is like well man you should just should have just hung out man i don't know how this man is still alive truthfully what an idiot man so i don't know i mean truthfully i don't know if this marriage is going alive, truthfully. What an idiot, man. So I don't know. I mean, truthfully, I don't know if this marriage is going to survive. No. If this is how it continues, if this is the attitude towards it.

And we know that divorce and money fights are one of the leading causes. Money problems and money fights, leading cause of divorce. Another leading cause of divorce is being married to an idiot. That's another one. An absolute moron. A poor choice was made at some point but we teach people that you should combine finances 100 when you get married no earlier but as soon as you're married combine finances you're a team it's we it's not well that's your bill so well i'll cover electricity

you cover the water i i got the food last month when we ate out. That's an insane way to live. If you wanted a roommate, don't get married. Is that simple? Yes. If you want to go back to being roommates, you can do that. And by the way, for the first time in Ramsey Show history, we're going to add a few other recommendations. Husbands, don't look at your wife and say an epidural is a luxury. You could have waited a few more hours.

Don't ever say that. Ever. Never say that. Lactation consultant, not a luxury. is a luxury. You could have waited a few more hours. Don't ever say that. Ever. Never say that. Lactation consultant. Not a luxury. Not a luxury. Here's a thing, gentlemen, in case you don't know this. Babies have to eat.

They have to eat. Here's another one. Nursery fee so babies can stay in the room with you. Is it insane that hospitals charge that? Yes, it is. But I don't know. Throughout all of human history until about 60 years ago, babies always slept in the same room with their new parents.

Like, dude, don't be insane. Don't be, George, this gets me. Man. I told you it was going to grind your gears, and I was right. This is the opposite of hemorrhoids. This has got me so puckered up. I want to know this guy. I want to find this guy. Wow. We went from visual to visceral. Thank you, John.

I can't. I'm just trying to imagine how this would go in my house. It wouldn't. Here's what would happen. You and probably Dave and maybe Rachel, there'd be a couple of y'all at this desk and there'd be a box of tissues and you'd just be saying, like, John's dead. John's dead. And he won't be doing the show anymore. He had a good life. He had a good life, but man, he sure was stupid when it came to one of his children being born. Wow. All right. That's enough of that, John. Well, thanks for, I need some good news. Thanks for making my day. Let's see if Erica can help us out. Let's go to Erica in Cleveland, Ohio. What's up, Erica? Yes. Save me.

Save me. Hi. My name is Erica. I'm from Cleveland. How are you doing today, John and George? We're making it. We're making it. Hey, we're kind of up against the clock, so hop right into your question. Okay.

I was in an accident in January. The insurance company of the other person found me at fault and they sent it to the corrections for $5,000 and I was trying to figure out what can I do because I don't even know where to begin. So you were in a wreck, you were at fault and they had a $5,000 judgment against you and I'm assuming you don't have $5,000 to pay? No. Okay. And it happened in January, and they've already sent it to collections? Yeah. Yes.

They sent me a letter this week, actually, for collections already. They sent me the letter saying I was at fault last week, actually, for collections already. Okay. They sent me the letter saying I was at fault last week and sent me the letter for collections this week. It may not be collections yet. It may just be like they want payment. Like if they just contacted you. Yeah, who wrote the letter? I don't know.

It just said some kind of collection agency. Okay. I would call them back, and I would be very direct with, I just got this piece of paper that says I'm at fault. I've had no time to review it. I haven't had time for my attorney to review it. I just got this thing, and then all of a sudden you guys are calling me for $5,000, which I don't have right now.

I'm going to have to make a re-entrance. I'm going to have to call you back. And then you're going to have to sit down and come up with a plan for this $5,000. If there's a judgment, there's a judgment. Do you have any other debt? Yeah. That's it. That's student loans and a house note.

Okay. And I don't really know how much my student loans are exactly. Well, we got some homework to do, Erica. Make sure, let's figure out exactly how much we owe. Let's list it all out and let's take care of this collections before it accrues any penalties or interest or fees. But if you owe it, let's just make a plan to pay it. I'm going to send you Financial Peace University. It's going to walk you through our proven plan to get out of this mess and start building for the future instead. But it's five grand and it feels like

a lot right now. One day you're going to look back and go, that sucked. Remember that? Yes, but you gotta, gotta, gotta pay it. Don't ignore it because it's going to double and triple on you and you're going to get in a bigger mess. The only way out is to pay it off. That's right. This is The Ramsey Show. This is The Ramsey Show, 888-825-5225. It's 888-825-5225. Let's go out to Charlie in Virginia Beach. What's up, Charlie?

Hi. So I bought my house this past November, and after finding Dave, I realized that it was a very poor financial decision. That's a big one. Yes. My boyfriend and I are considering getting married, and I'm just wondering if I should save some money to be able to sell my house as I'm in baby step two. How much debt do you have? $395 is the mortgage, and I have $81 in student loans. Okay. When do you plan um 395 is the mortgage and i have 81 in student loan okay when do you plan on getting married um probably before next year 2024 has he even proposed yet we have talked oh charlie

the old talk the old talk it could be 2029 no i promise it's not oh it sounds like she knows something we don't there's an ultimatum in place john uh yes he's also listening on the radio right now well he needs to get on the ball here just stop waiting around okay so what makes you want to sell this house that's a very big decision it's just is the mortgage way too much comparatively to your take-home pay? It's astronomical. Wow. Give me a number here. What's your take-home pay? I take home about $30 under 8K.

So about 8K, and the mortgage payment is how much? $2,524. Okay. And I have a COA of $180 a month. Okay, on top of that. So we'll include that in the numbers so you are i mean that's is that on a 30 year it is a 30 year okay that's like 31 percent yeah so we're looking at over 30 probably closer to a third of your take-home pay which is a lot it's not on fire i thought you were gonna tell me it's 50 60 percent of your take-home pay, which is a lot. It's not on fire. I thought you were going to tell me it's 50%, 60% of your take-home pay.

And if you get married, his salary comes in on top of that too, right? Yes. So the question is, what is your household income versus your debt? Like us combined? Right now. We're just looking at Charlie solo. Oh, it's just the 8K a month. So that's your take-home pay?

Yes. And how much debt do you have total? 81K. And is that all student loans? Oh, no. With the mortgage, it's 476K together. We're just looking at the consumer debt. So you have 81,000 student loans? Yes, no. With a mortgage, it's $476,000 together. We're just looking at the consumer debt. So you have $81,000 in student loans? Yes. Okay. Now, with your take-home pay, you could pay this off on your own. You're making about $100,000 take-home almost.

And so could you take $40,000 a year and throw it at this debt and be done in two years? Especially if you're married inside of that, you're going to have combined incomes. You're going to have a bigger shovel to throw at this debt. Is he bringing debt with him? No, he's a lot smarter than me. Oh, does he have a house? He does. Okay. So what's the plan if you guys get married? Would you sell this one anyways? I would want to sell my house because he has a better house. Oh, okay. I have a town home. He has a real home.

And how long? Wow. Shots fired. Charlie, shots fired. I love a town home. Okay. So either way, you're going to sell this house down the line. Yes.

My gut tells me we can sell it when the time comes to sell it. Because right now you're going to sell it and then rent somewhere in Virginia Beach, right? Yes. That would be the plan. And if you sold it, what would you net profit after all the fees? I wouldn't profit anything. I would have to save to sell it because it's only appraised at $399. So you'd be underwater on this thing. Yeah. Yeah, so it's not really doing you any favors other than getting rid of your mortgage payment, which is just going to be replaced with rent. And so I don't think the house is the problem right now.

I think it's getting on a budget and seeing if we can even increase the income and maybe we can get rid of this debt before marriage. That'd be a cool goal. That's what I want to do. To be able to cash flow the wedding, start our marriage off completely debt free. You move into his place. We have a big shovel. Now we can start attacking the house.

I like that plan. You listening, David? Okay. He's listening. I want to tell you this, Charlie, and this is not John and George Debbie Downers, okay? The temptation here is to say, okay, we have a plan, a two-year plan, and inside that two-year plan, we're going to move into his house, we're going to sell my house,

we're going to get married, and we're going to live happily ever after. The reason we tell folks don't play house, there's the moral side, let's move that over. There's a math problem here okay and so the number of of relationships right where you are that don't end up getting married or something comes up or it becomes like well let's just wait i want to wait another year and then another year it's it's lots and lots and lots and lots of them. So as hard as this is, I want you to do two things at the same time. I want you to make plans for the future, right? You'll continue down.

You'll talk about marriage, make him propose to you in the right way, and do all that fun stuff. And I want you operating as though you are on your own. Okay? Absolutely. And do both at the same time. But that means, man, it may come time to to you may need to get rid of this house or you want to get rid of this house but don't blame

dave and don't blame this marriage for it let's do it when the time is right in the right order right when you're getting married we're gonna we're gonna move in together cool now we gotta get rid of these places there's gonna be a lot less pressure that way then suddenly you sell this place and i guess that's gonna move in got to move in or I got to get an apartment. And it gets all wonky and everybody gets sideways. Does that make sense? Yes. Yeah.

Do it in the right order. But good for you. And, David, get on the ball this weekend. What are you waiting for? Poor David. No. No poor David. He's listening right now.

He can't even defend himself. He's like, I plan on it, John. All right. Sorry if I ruined it, David. George, I did that one time. I had a former student of mine. I was walking out of a restaurant and a former student of mine was sitting just at a booth. And I slid into the booth and there was a woman sitting across from him. And I looked at her and him and I was like, what are you doing? And he introduced me to, and I was like, what are you doing? And he introduced me to her, and I was like, are you with him? And she's like, yeah.

I looked at him and said, you're ridiculous. You're going to let her get away. You're just messing around. I haven't seen him forever. You're just messing around, screwing around, and she's going to leave because you don't have the courage to just get married. I had never met her. I was just being silly.

Were you just trolling? Just absolutely trolling. And he looks at me and he looks at her and he reaches under his leg, throws the ring down on the dinner table and goes, Well, you ruined that one, Deloney. And I was like, Oh, no. Wow. That's their proposal story.

And I was like, I think it's probably time for me to go. Sorry. Yeah. Never again. Never. Don't ever let John slide into it's probably time for me to go. Sorry. Yeah, never again. Never. Don't ever let John slide into a booth if you're trying to propose. That is correct. It's a very specific scenario that applies to almost no one.

But it does apply to David and Charlie. David needs to get on the ball here. Let's see here. Let's run out real quick to Peter in Billings. Peter, we're right up against the clock, my brother. So let's get right to your question. Can you hear me? Yes, sir.

Get right to the question. Okay, so my wife and I are both 26 years old, and we got married last year, and since then we've paid off $42,000 worth of cars and have money to pay off $75,000 worth of student loans. Wow, way to go, man. We haven't paid it. It's just in a high-yield savings account because we want to see what happens with this decision, but we haven't paid it. It's just an high yield savings account because, um,

we want to see what happens with this decision, but we're ready whenever it happens. And so now we have no debt, but our mortgage. And so we're maxing out our 401ks. She's already maxed hers out to 15%. And I just recently became self-employed and I've heard you guys talk about, there's been some changes with Roth, um, IRAs recently for people that are self-employed, and that's the route I'm looking at going. I know the regular Roths only have a $6,500 limit annually, like as far as contribution limits. And I'm wondering, is that the best option to go with? Are you solo? No employees? No employees, yep. Okay. My guess, and this is a hunch I want you to look into, is that the solo 401k would be your best

bet. And you can only do that if you have no employees. The traditional one? You can do a Roth solo 401k as well. But that will have giant contribution limits. There's a total of 66 grand cap for 2023 because you can contribute as the employee and the employer.

Oh, okay. That's what I was thinking. I just couldn't see it on E-Trade, so I'll go back and look for that. Yeah. Do your homework on the Roth Solo 401k. You can get in touch with one of our SmartVestor pros to walk you through this to help you set this up, but it's an incredible tool for those that are self-employed. You don't have to retire broke if you're an entrepreneur. That's for sure. Way to go, Peter. You and your new spouse are crushing it. That's incredible. Hey, this is The Ramsey Show, 888-825-5225. Give us a shout, and we'll be right back.

Every time I talk about this upcoming event, I get more excited because it's going to be incredible. Money in Marriage is back, and this time, instead of just one night, it's going to be an entire weekend, October 19th through 21st. This is months away. So you got time to save up for it. Join Rachel Cruz and me for the money and marriage getaway and spend an entire weekend unplugged from your day-to-day life and simply focusing on your marriage. One thing I've seen across the country where I'm traveling or doing my show is over the last three or four or five years, couples have become roommates. Couples have

become great co-managers of their house and they have lost intimacy. They have just gotten sideways with one another. And it's so hard to find a bridge back, even when that bridge feels like it's only two inches away. And that's what this weekend is for. We're going to cover things like money and budgeting with your spouse. We're going to talk about connections, sex, and intimacy. We'll get you planning for your future together. And this isn't what you think of when you think of a marriage conference. It's not just going to be you sitting there with a notebook being a nerd.

You're going to learn a ton, but we're also going to give you and your spouse time together throughout the weekend to reflect and discuss on what you're learning and actually come up with a real game plan to take home with you. Rachel Cruz and I will be right there to coach you along the way and answer your questions. And we have some incredible surprises that will also be a part of this weekend. We can't wait for you to be there. If you're listening to this and it sounds like something you and your spouse need, I want you to talk to your spouse about this because listen, tickets start at $6.99, which is a deal. It's madness for a weekend marriage retreat getaway. And this is going to be an incredible experience. Go to ramsaysolutions.com slash events to save your spot. That's ramsaysolutions.com slash events to save your

spot. Can't wait for that, John. My wife needs this. She needs to be at this event. Listen. Okay, that's a great point. If you just heard that announcement, that announcement, and you think, my spouse really, really needs this. You do the elbow.

Do not say it like that. Say, hey, I would like us to go to Nashville on a trip together to a really fun, cool marriage conference so that we can get even better. That's the spirit. You know what you need, honey? You need marriage counseling.

To learn how to be a better person. And this is going to be fun. Most marriage retreats, it can be heavy, and you guys will get real, but it's also very fun. It's you and Rachel. It'll be heavy, but it'll be fun too.

It'll be fun too. Don't miss it. It will not be weird that you and Whitney are in the audience. We'll be there. Can I get a discount? Absolutely not. Okay.

No chance. No chance. Let's go out to Grand Rapids, Michigan and talk to John. Hey, John, what's up, man? Hey, guys. How are you today? Good, good, good. What's happening?

Good. Hey, John, to start off, I wanted to say thanks. Your show played a part in saving my marriage, so appreciate that. Well, man, that means the world to me, dude. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Hey, but why I'm calling today, um, I am uninsurable as far as life insurance goes. Um, and so I'm wondering what you guys suggest as far as protecting my family without being able to have life insurance, the traditional life insurance, I guess. Do you have a medical issue?

Yeah, I have PTSD from the military, and that pretty much nixes any insurance company willing to help me. And there's not, there's, excuse my ignorance here, there's, I know about that with civilians, but there's not a program that the military has to take care of? It's the people who've been taking care of all of us. Not as far as life insurance goes. That's a, there's,

there is a company that specializes in getting that. It's not a thing through the military, but it's a company that supposedly specializes in getting life insurance for people like me, but they also denied me. Wow. I, I,

I want this to be an, like a moment of shame for our country. It's embarrassing. And on behalf of all of us, I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. I appreciate that. I know that didn't buy you a cup of coffee, but as a taxpayer, just a regular knuckle-headed citizen, I'm embarrassed and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man.

I appreciate that. Do you have any insurance through your workplace, even a small policy you could get? No. Okay. Because I'm just on disability through the VA. I don't have a workplace. But my wife has a real small one on me at hers. I think it's only like 30,000, but that's not going to help her save the house and everything else if I die.

Yeah. The one route that I could point you to is a guaranteed issue policy, which wouldn't be a lot, probably only up to 50 grand, but it might be an option. But it might be an option. Your best option really is to kind of become what we call self-insured, to where you have no debt, you get the mortgage paid off, you get a nest egg saved up, and if something happened,

your family's going to be okay. So, John, go ahead. That's what we're working at. Obviously, you can't get there overnight. We're debt-free other than our house, but if I got in a car wreck and died today, she wouldn't be able to keep the house. She wouldn't be able to afford it on just her income.

You can also look into mortgage life insurance, which is going to be something similar to where it would cover only your mortgage balance. Okay. Is that through the mortgage company or those separate insurance companies that do that? It would be through a separate insurance company. And you can get in touch with our friends at Zander to walk you through your options for something like that. Have you gotten in touch with them yet? I did. They denied me. I didn't ask about the mortgage when I was just

applying for life insurance and they denied me as well. Yeah. Look into guaranteed issue and mortgage life and those might be your best bets outside of just becoming self-insured. But, man, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. We've got to do better. So let me say this, John, and you're a beacon of light out there for folks. This is one of those situations where we want it to be different, and it should be different, and it's not. Right?

And you as somebody who's been in the – I mean mean you know this better than any of us it shouldn't be this way we don't want it to be this way and it is and so i think setting down and say and spending time being frustrated like i am right now is not going to get you like i said it's not going to get you a cup of coffee it's just going to further spin your tires in the mud and so i would love to for you and your wife to go through the mortgage life insurance, to go through this guaranteed issue and then sit down and say, okay, here's our reality. We're going to choose reality now. And reality is nobody's coming to save us. And so let's get some mortgage insurance that we're probably going to pay a little bit. We're

probably going to overpay for it a little bit, but it's going to let us, it's a sleep tax. We're both going to be able to sleep. And then we're just going to have to do things a little bit, but it's going to let us, it's a sleep tax. We're both going to be able to sleep. And then we're just going to have to do things a little bit differently. We may have to be a Corolla family for several years because we're going to put a nest egg aside because this is going to come. We're all going to end up dead. We all know this. And there's not a policy for you. And so I think you see what I'm saying? There's, there's some empowerment with owning reality. Once you get on the other side of grief. You know what I mean? Yeah, I got you. Okay.

That makes sense. And yeah, I'm a 04 Tacoma driver, so I got you there. Hey, man. That's what's up. I'm an 0600, guys. So there we go. We can high five. But hey, I'm grateful for you.

Thank you for your service. And thank you for loving us in ways that we're clearly not reciprocating. And there's something powerful about owning reality. Here's where we are. And George, I think we all do this in little ways and big ways. And when people call me and ask me about how to fix my marriage,

what's going on with my mental health, it's often there. We want so badly something to be different than what it just is. I want my husband to be more engaged. I want my wife to not talk down to me so much. I want my kids to fill in the blank. And it's okay to grieve that, but man, you've got to get to, it's not. So what are we going to do now? Right. And making a list, writing down the things that we can control, the things that we can do, which is we can get out of debt. We can live on

a budget. We can get rid of that mortgage once and for all. Once you do that, you can sleep better at night knowing you've done everything you can do. You put it all on the dance floor going, I did everything I can to protect my family. But especially for veterans, John, I know you have a huge heart for vets out there, but we got to do better. I can't wrap my head around it. I just can't. I can't, of all of the excess spending and all of the nonsense that we throw money around in this country i can't for the life of me and i hey george i pride myself on being able to see the other side of an argument i think i think that's the that's the mark of a wise person who can see the your opponents somebody you disagree with i know i get why they're there i get it this is one that that the sacrifices that that service men and women make get why they're there. I get it. This is one that the sacrifices that service men and women make

and that their families make, because they go a year without mom. They go two years without mom or dad. And so they're grinding it out too. And the fact that we don't have a plan to say, hey, you put it all out there for our country and for men and women that you will never meet. We got you.

We've got you. And we don't have that. We don't have that. You get a pamphlet and a high five and go get them. And I just, I just is enraging. If, if, let me say this to the veterans out there. If I'm wrong, please put into the chat here where this, where John can go get some, some help. If there's services that I don't know about, please let us know.

Hey, that's hour one in the books here on The Ramsey Show. We'll see you again real soon. We'll be right back. Hey, it's John Deloney, co-host of The Ramsey Show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to The Ramsey Show every week? A lot of those people listen on one of our 600-plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, go to RamseySolutions.com slash show.