The Ramsey Show - App - Do NOT Pay Your Girlfriend's Bills! (Hour 3)

Episode Date: September 1, 2020

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio. This is the Dave Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm John Deloney, and I'm co-hosting today with the one and only international best-selling author, Anthony O'Neill. Instagram extraordinaire, money guru, and together we are taking your calls about life and about money. Give us a call at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Anthony, are you ready? Man, I am ready.

I was actually a little bit ready a lot earlier, and then he just went live. Hey, man. I'm actually a little bit ready a lot earlier, and then, you know, he just went live. Hey, man. I'm excited and ready to go today. Looking forward to spending an hour with you and these good folks, see how we can help. Man, let's do it. Let's go out to Denver, Colorado and have a conversation here with Mike. Mike, good afternoon. This is Anthony O'Neill and John Deloney.

How can we serve you today? Gentlemen, thank you for having me, and thanks for what you do. Oh, man. Thanks so much Deloney. How can we serve you today? Gentlemen, thank you for having me and thanks for what you do. Oh man, thanks so much, man. How can we help? So I'm pretty new to Dave's program. I found him a few weeks ago. After listening for a few weeks, I find myself in kind of a unique spot and trying to get through these baby steps. I'm kind of in a weird spot being 38, single father. I have some of the baby steps taken care of, but I'm still kind of seems like I feel like I'm, I don't know, maybe not on the right track or lost. So I actually have accomplished baby step six.

So my house is paid off and I own my home. Okay. That's a good place to start, Mike. Yes. I can thank my father for that. So, and then basically I do have some debt and I don't know if it's just this mindset thing, make a pretty decent living. But I had financed a few things in the past, more or less toys. And I kind of think I justified it because I had a steady income coming in. But I do have a

three to six month emergency fund of about 10 grand. I have a five 29 plan for my 19 year old daughter who just finished, uh, medical assistant, uh, assistant school. So a portion of that done, she's wants to go back to school in the future. Um, I will continue to, um, uh, contribute to that five 29 plan for whatever she decides to further her education for. Um, but I do have about $8,000 worth of debt. So I'm kind of conflicted whether maybe I should just work on maybe cash flowing and paying off that debt or taking the money from my three to six month emergency fund, paying that off, and then kind of starting that emergency fund over again to rebuild that up and then really look at maybe investing, um, a little bit more heavily.

What's your total income right now? Uh, annually, uh, 93,000. It's 93 K. All right. And you're saying you got about,

well, you said about 9,000 in debt right now, that's it? Yeah, it's right around like mid-8, 8,500, 8,600 range, yeah. Cool. What's your monthly expenses? I'm curious. Outside of your debt, what else, what do you need to live off of? Really, just utilities, water, trash, food, electrical, uh, just utilities, um, water, trash, food, electrical, um, internet, you know,

just the basic things that, uh, everybody has. Um, I also, uh, with my job, I also, I only work about 10 days a month. So, um, I have a part-time job as well, um, that I just started, um, a little side business. Is that including your 93K? No, sir, that's not. Right now it's a totally new company that I've kind of started a little side business, and it's generating about, I would say, just to be on the safe side, about $1,200 to $1,500 extra a month.

So you work 10 days a week? No, 10 days a month. 10 days a month, and you make about $100,000 a year? Yes, sir. Man, what do you do? I'm actually a firefighter. Excellent. Very cool, man. Thanks for your service.

Very cool, yeah. No, thank you for your support. Appreciate it. Mike, man, when we hang up this phone, I need you to do me a favor. Okay. You already know what I'm about to say, man. I'm thinking you're about to tell me to probably pay off that, that a small amount of debt that I got. And then just, and here's why, because of being, you can honestly get this $10,000 back in about two months, bro.

Okay. Pay off the debt today. Today. All right? Hang up the phone from me and John. Get on your bank. Transfer it over to your checking account. Get online.

Pay this debt off. Boom. Then what you do is you get on a budget, and I want you to sit there, and I want you to really go through, okay, how can I get this $10,000 back within the next 45 to 60 days? So now you're back to where you were today. Now you're in a comfortable place and it's smooth and you're moving forward. All right? So a lot of people get confused. Go ahead.

Yeah, no, I think where I just kind of get tripped up and maybe just in my own head, I've always, I was always kind of, it was always ingrained in me that you never know when that rainy day is going to hit. So it's like, I really want to hold on to this, you know, three to six month emergency fund. But at the same time, I'm like, I kind of get what you're saying. Like I could pay it off today, you know, and I'm just like, but my luck, you know, like something would happen, you know, next week, you know, and that would be. Mike, you're planning for a rainy day with a hole in your roof. And so what Anthony is saying is pass up, put the new roof on. Yeah.

And then plan for the rainy day. Yes. Right. All right. You are saving for a bigger boat and you got a hole in the one you're in, right? You got to patch that hole up first. Be debt free, stand with two feet on a solid concrete foundation, and then you build up that rainy day on the top of it.

Plus, man, you make so much money against what your monthly expenses are. You're winning. And I heard something in your voice, and I don't want to speak into your life without permission, but Anthony and I often hear folks who try to get too smart for the plan, right? They try to like, oh, but I'm a little bit different because I got a good deal on a truck and so on. But we holler at them and we laugh. And there's another side, though.

And it's somebody like you, Mike, who is successful, who is smart, who works their butt off for a living, and who's got this sense of shame that I'm 38 and I'm still figuring this out. And so what I want you to do is to hold your head up. There are millions of people like you across this country who are figuring it out. COVID's done it to them. They just stumbled along YouTube and ran into this Dave Ramsey guy. Their grandma's book that she gave them a bunch of years ago is, you know, comes out of the nightstand or whatever it's been hiding man hold your head up high you're gonna be debt free before today's over you're gonna skip all the baby steps to basically baby step six right you're gonna be there you got

to pay it off house you're gonna start getting in your retirement man you are there hold your head up high don't have any shame and go get them today, man. Mike, have you taken Financial Peace University? No, sir, I haven't. That's actually part of the baby steps that I would like to do is actually put my daughter and myself through it so that we can complete that program. Perfect. Perfect, man. Stand in line. I'm going to have Kelly give you a free year of that, Ramsey Plus, because we're so into your future, man.

I'm happy for you. Pay off the debt, man. Hang up the phone for me right now after you talk to Kelly and go pay it off. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. I get asked all the time about what people need to do to improve their family's money situation. Two of the most overlooked things are term life insurance and disability insurance. Both plans make sure that you have income to pay bills and take care of yourself and your family if something were to happen. For term life, you need to carry 10 to 12 times your income, and I recommend 15 or 20-year plans for most families.

Stay away from cash value or return of premium plans. They're just a ripoff. Disability insurance is just as critical. How are you going to pay your bills if you're unable to work? Disability is the leading cause of bankruptcies and foreclosures, and that's why I send you to Zander Insurance. They've been helping my listeners find the right plans at the lowest cost for almost 20 years. Call 800-356-1780 or visit zander.com and compare online. That's 800-356-1780 or zander.com.

Blinds.com's 100% satisfaction guarantee means even if you mismeasure or pick the wrong color they'll remake the blinds your blinds for free you get free samples free shipping and with the new promos they run every month you'll save even more use promo code ramsey to get the best deal of course rules and restrictions apply. So here we go, Anthony. Today's question comes from Martin in Iowa. He visits DaveRamsay.com to ask, I am in a moral dilemma.

Uh-oh, this one's yours. Should I consider GoFundMe donations for a medical treatment as debt and pay back the donors? This was for a genuine cause, and no donor has ever asked about money or even expected to get paid back this is something i'm not able to handle emotionally what should i do um i'm confused too man i really wish i could talk to this individual so it sounds like he had a medical emergency he He set up a GoFundMe page. Right.

People hooked him up. Right. And he feels like a moral obligation to pay them back. Right. Again, I wish I could talk to the individual because I'm like, why? Where's the moral dilemma coming from? I mean, because here's the facts, is what you would say. Facts are you created GoFundMe and people said, hey, I want to help you get through this situation.

So they willingly gave you a generous donation to help you out. You didn't connive them. You didn't mislead them. There is no lie. You was being truthful and honest. I think you need to accept a blessing. Man, I think Anthony, that's one of the great curses of our time. Yes.

That we can do it all by ourself and if you ask for help, you reach out, then you're weak, you didn't plan right, you're a punk, you're a failure. And you know where that comes from though, Dr. D? It comes from if I was to give you money and then down the road you do me wrong.

You remember five years ago when I helped you out? And I think people do not want that possibility. Hanging over their head. Hanging over their head. Because honestly, I'm like that. I'm not going to sit here and lie. I don't like people giving me money. I don't like people giving me money i don't like people giving me um free things i don't like

people you know just just giving me things because i just i don't want that over my head that you you can bring that up in the future and so i i can understand that but for this particular question and issue i'm saying um if you are deep down morally like y'all gotta pay people back pay them back but if I was in your shoes and someone helped me out because they just wanted to be a blessing I'm not going to feel

morally obligated to pay them back I'm going to accept the blessing let me tell you what I will do this is a spiritual side of me on the Dave Ramsey show you should check me out on my show The Table with Anthonyony o'neill you get a lot more of this um but i will pray and ask god to give them double for their trouble i will pray and say god thank you for allowing these people to sow into my life and help me get through this medical issue god if they gave me 100 give them back hundred. God, wherever they need a blessing, God, give them a double blessing

for helping me. And so I would definitely pray that prayer because I believe God will honor that prayer. But I think this just points to a greater curse that, Anthony, we've got to relearn how to live in a community with one another. And that means giving, and that also

means sometimes swallowing your pride and receiving. So you're right, man. Martin, sleep tonight in peace. Make sure you say thank you. Make sure you've got these folks who blessed you in your prayers. Make sure you have your eyes wide open for who you can help and serve next, where you can be a blessing to other people. And then, man, honor them by living your life well

and whole yeah yeah definitely definitely you know what if you feel morally there maybe you go so into someone else's life who needs medical help it's best to give than it is to receive so you receive now return it by giving to someone else who honestly does need it man such a good question let's go out to the beautiful city of anaheim california have a conversation with now return it by giving it to someone else who honestly does need it? Man, such a good question. Let's go out to the beautiful city of Anaheim, California, and have a conversation with Stephanie. Stephanie, good afternoon. How can Dr. D and I serve?

Hi. Am I coming good? You're coming in perfectly. Okay, great. Pleasure to talk to you. I'm really excited. My husband and I got married about two years ago, started a plan about two years ago. We started with about $40,000 in debt. We're down to our last $15,000. And then in March, I got furloughed and started hoarding the money. And the two debts is one personal loan for $4,600.

And the second one is a credit card for $11,500. The credit card allowed a deferral. So we took it because, again, I got furloughed and my husband got the reduced hours and um I didn't understand the terms of the referral and so they reported it as um it didn't continue accruing but they still reported it to the credit um bureau and so now it's been 90 days since what, what, it's 90 days. And so they're, they're about to send it into collections. Now I talked to them today and was asking them about getting something in writing to settle it. But they won't give me something in writing to settle it, but they won't give me something in writing. So my question is, should I let it go to collections and try to work something out with whoever the third-party collections company is,

or should I just take the settlement without the pay-to-delete in writing? Okay, so let me make sure I understand this correctly. The actual bank who owns the credit, they have you in their collection agency and they're offering you to settle it on the dollars. They may say instead of

giving us back $11,500, give us $8,000 and we'll call that a settlement in full. Am I hearing you correctly? Correct. Okay. And what you're saying is there. We haven't gotten,

we haven't gotten to the numbers part of it. Cause I asked specifically about getting it in writing and they said they, they weren't going to do that for the paid to leave. All right. So here's the thing. They should not be reporting to the credit reports due to the COVID situation. That's number one.

Number two, you need to have a conversation and speak to a supervisor. Okay. Once you speak to a supervisor, you need to tell them, hey, I need you to remove this negative item from my credit report. And honestly, Stephanie, I will start making your payments. Now, do you have your job? Do you have your income coming back in right now? So I'm still furloughed. Okay. Is your husband still working? My husband got back to his full hours and I am receiving unemployment.

Okay. So how much are you all making a month? What are you seeing a month right now net? Okay. So right now it's all kind of crazy since we had the $600 in addition, and then they're telling us we're going to get $300. So it really honestly fluctuates a lot. So what do you see in that? So it was, we're seeing about $4,000 a month. And how much do you have sitting in your savings account right now? $5,000, a little bit over. A little bit over $5,000, a little bit over. A little bit over $5,000. And with that income coming in

a month, can you make your payments on these two debts here without it hurting you and your family? I'd have to sit back down and look at it because since I thought I had the deferral, I wasn't factoring that into our budget. With the $4,000, it's going to be really tight. Our mortgage is $2,200 with the HOA and the utilities included, so it's a little bit a lot. You know what? Yeah, we can do it. I can figure it out.

Here's the thing, Stephanie. You're living tight. I want you to sit down and do your budget. You have a little bit of money in your savings account, okay? So right now during this season, covering your four walls, which is your utilities, transportation, home, and food, that's your most important thing. Now, if you all can stretch it a little bit and make it work, I'm cool with that. But if you can't, focus on those four walls. But I really don't want you settling right now i really want you to get on the phone with these credit people tell them no

you're not supposed to be doing that because we're going through hard times you should be working with this and have that conversation there take care of your four walls then worry about your bills but if you can take care of some of your bills go ahead and continue doing it this is the dave ramsey show Take care of some of you bills. Go ahead and continue doing it. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. I'm John Deloney, co-hosting with the one and only Anthony O'Neill. And Anthony, I heard a rumor floating around the office that you got a fancy gig coming up with Gary Vee and several other really powerful and important business owners and influencers. Tell me about what you're doing. Rumors are actually false, so I would say that's not a rumor.

Ah, so it's true, huh? It's facts. Man, I'm completely on it, man. Yeah, man. I'm a partner uh teachable uh teachable.com is hosting a conference for just young millennials and just young entrepreneurs and so um myself gary v lisa nichols and nicole walters are the keynote speakers for this event um and just excited about the opportunity uh to just really talk to about,

really what I'm going to be talking about is I've never talked about this before, but how young people can be entrepreneurs, make a lot of money, live below their means, and still be successful. And so my teaching is going to be a little different from everyone else's, and I'm excited about that

because I just really have a heart for this generation. They're expecting about 15 to 20 thousand people to be watching it and so if you're watching this if you're listening to this thing right now and you're in that age bracket of 20 30 young 40s and you want to learn from myself Lisa Nichols Nicole Walters Gary V and a lot of people just go to teachable.com

for slash Anthony teachable.com for slash Anthony and register. And I would love to see our Ramsey tribe in there supporting me while I'm in there because my teaching is going to be different. I will be teaching young entrepreneurs how to do this thing with no debt, without borrowing money and how to be an entrepreneur like Dave Ramsey. Very cool, man.

Well, congratulations on that deal, man. Thanks so much. Appreciate it, brother. It will go well. It's going to be amazing. I can't wait for it. It's sometime in September. So just go to teachable.com forward slash Anthony, and you'll see the information there, but enough about me. Let's go out to Kansas city, Missouri,

and have a conversation with Tiffany. Tiffany, good afternoon. How can Dr. D and I serve? Hey guys, thank you so much for taking my phone call. First off, I wish I had heard of you guys 14 years ago before I went into college, but my husband and I were on the hamster wheel and we're just tired of living paycheck to paycheck. And we are ready to start debt snowball. We wrote down our whole plan down and we set it on our kitchen counter. So every time we pass it, we look at it and we think about it getting motivated. So we are about to attack our snowball and we're asking for some advice. There's two ways that we can start it. One being paying off a credit card and the other one is towards a student loan, which we have together $142,000 in student loan debt. So we're ready to start this. Both the credit card and the student loan

have 3.25% on it. But we didn't know if we pay the credit card at $2,800 off in two months, it saves us $85 to attack another one to start our snowball. But the loan is only $1,100. And it would not make such a dent to pay towards another loan for the snowball to start. So that is a part of a group of loans for $442 a month. So I didn't know which way is a better way to go about it. The debt snowball is the best way to go about it and the only way to go about it.

So I want you to be debt from smallest to largest. So walk me through this process with you. What's the smallest debt you have right now? What's that total balance right now? It's one of our loans and it's $1,100. Okay. And what's the other one? What's the next one from there?

Uh, the next one would be $1,933. Okay. And what's the next one from there? Um, the next one after that would be going toward the credit cards and that would be $2,200. $2,200. All right. Anything else? Yeah. I mean, we got a whole list of loans, but my husband kept saying that $2,800, attacking one credit card at $2,800, saving us $85 a month would be the best option, and then hopping over to another credit card for $5,400. But because the other loans would be a grand total of like $400,

but it would take us like a good amount of time to pay that off to see that dent. Tiffany, this is something for your husband. You can cut this little piece out of YouTube or the podcast, and y'all can just listen to it that dent. Tiffany, this is something for your husband. You can cut this little piece out of YouTube or the podcast and y'all can just listen to it on loop. This is not a math problem. This is a psychology problem. This is a spiritual problem. And so everybody has a temptation when they get into this thing to try to outsmart the plan. I understand what you're saying, so I get the general gist, but this credit card's got this, and we can win with this. Here's the deal. Both of your plans have landed you where you're at.

And so look in the mirror, both of you. Hold his hand, and I know he loves you, and he's trying his best to like, oh, no, I'm underwater, and so I'm in a big hole and I got a little shovel. So I'm just going to start digging real fast. Just tell him to stop. Tell him we got a plan. Yeah. Anthony O'Neill here is going to walk you through it.

But this is not a math problem anymore. This is a psychology problem, a spiritual problem. And he loves Dave. He admires Dave because he sits there and thinks the same way as you guys. But my father-in-law died of a massive heart attack two years ago and left us an adherence and we thought we were doing the right way and unfortunately we didn't we have four little kids and i'm a teacher that doesn't bring a lot of money and and then my husband had a heart attack at 31 oh man yeah it's hard hard hard luckily everything yes so we sit here and i'm

listening and i know what you guys are saying. Start with the smallest. And I'm like, he sees finances so much better than I am. But you're exactly right. We're here because this is exactly what we've done. And I brought the big brunt of student loans because I listened to someone in my family that told me college was the only way to go. And that wrapped up. Hey, Tiffany, I want you to put that down. The I brought. This is a we problem.

Yes. And you carrying more guilt than him or he's going to be talking to his buddies being like, man, I had a heart attack. I had these medical bills. I wish it. Y'all are. This is a we situation. Y'all are in this together. You're going to dig out of this together. And Anthony is going to walk you through the plan because this is what he does.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, Tiffany, it's simple. You know, no disrespect to your husband. He's wrong on this one. What I want you to do right now, just stick to the debt snowball.

This is about catching momentum. This is about seeing debt disappear. This is about you and your family seeing some small steps moving forward, which is, this is why we call it baby steps because your baby steps will get larger larger larger larger larger uh so so stay the course use the debt snowball and you will be all right um man dr d how are you feeling right now because right there here you go you have a wife saying well

this is what my husband wants and then i think this is what we need to do. And then I heard some other things going in there that I really couldn't dive into because that's your expertise with your PhDs. Your show is really helping situations like this may not be on the money side, but on the communication side, some of the deeper issues that are causing financial things how do you deal with stuff like this from a relationship and just having a clear conversation i i think just head on i think i think we're at a place in our country i think we're a place in our world and in our relationships that um we gotta stop running we gotta stop hiding gotta stop trying to sugarcoat conversations and at the the same time, never forget that Tiffany's husband, he's had a heart attack. He just lost his dad. He's got four little kids. He's got a beautiful, lovely wife who works her butt off as a teacher. He's trying to do the thing that makes the most sense. He's not trying to be a jerk. He's not trying to be controlling. His heart is in the right place. And I personally, dude, I've seen the worst of the worst of people. I've seen some wild situations.

And I think most people most of the time are doing the best they can with the tools they have in the toolkit. And that's where someone like you, that's where someone like Dave, Hogan, Rachel, Christy, Ken, the whole gang, myself, where we can say, hey, here's some different tools you can try out. You may have never considered this tool or just to tell somebody, hey, the only tool you've got is a hammer. Stop using it. You're just causing chaos, right? And that's where she can sit down with her husband and say, honey, I appreciate you trying

to do the math on this deal, but we're going to stick to Dave's plan. It's worked for 30 years. It's worked for millions of people. Let's just square up and start from square one. Let's pay the small debt off today. Yes, let's do it. Man, dude. That's why you all need to be listening to this man's show.

I want you to go to the Apple iTunes, go to Spotify, check out the John Deloney Show. It's the number two show in the Ramsey Network because my show was number one. We'll be right back. where there is no guidance and people falls but in an abundance of counselors there is safety our scripture came from proverbs 11 and 14 our quote comes from mark sandburn in teamwork teamwork silent isn't golden it's deadly i agree going out to uh pennsylvania gonna have a conversation there with dave dave good afternoon how can dr d and i serve hey good afternoon how are you guys doing today doing good doing good man thanks for calling in how can we help so i got a

relationship question which i think mr deloney would be able to help me out a lot with this one um yes i'm gonna be quiet and let him talk to you yeah i have a bit of financial uh background i just wanted to i'm going through the process myself of going through uh using every dollar budgeting and uh going through my own finances working the debt snowball i'm still on uh step two i've picked off two credit cards and such, and I'm trying to work this out with family members as I go along the process. And along with that, I'm also trying to help my girlfriend through it. So recently she, with COVID and everything, you know,

she's been going through a lot of jobs. She's actually been through about seven jobs throughout the last year. I can't consistently hold her a job. And basically, she had a moment the other night where she broke down because of her finances. And, you know, I tried to tell her, I said, you know, this is why I'm doing what I'm doing. And I think we need to do this with you as well. And she thinks it's not as, she doesn't want to do the plan. She wants to do what she wants to do.

She's the free thinker, and I'm the one who's more of the budgeter and who likes to conserve my money. Hey, Dave, why can't she hold down a job? I honestly think it's just her preference. She doesn't like retail. She doesn't like anything. So is she not showing up to work? Is she showing up late?

Does she just quit after a couple of days? She just quits after a couple of days. Okay. And, you know, it came down to a point where all her bills became outstanding. Yeah, that's what happens when you quit your job. Your bills don't get paid, right? Right. And she had her insurance canceled, her policies and stuff like that.

Yeah, they want to get paid too. Yeah, she looked at me and said, you know, why, you know, I told you my situation. Why haven't you helped me more than you already have? I told her, I'm like, I'm trying to help you through the process of learning to be an adult yourself and trying to take care of your finances yourself. Um, she didn't like the answer. She was like, why didn't you help me pay through these things while, you know, I was going through troubles. But to me, I felt like the fact that it was her choice to not continue working through her jobs and stuff like that, that it shouldn't be an obligation for me to pay her bills and uh she sees otherwise so so what man there's a lot here we can spend a couple of weeks with this one um what's what's your what's

your question um should i have done more to help her through this time when she was going to go be be delinquent in her finances and stuff, even though I'm still working through my process myself as well. Yeah, Dave, so here's the deal. The answer you gave her is the answer a dad gives a child. You are not her father, and your job is to be her boyfriend, man. And so the answer, you are not in a position to be teaching her adult responsibility,

which is how you put it, right? You need to learn how to be a responsible adult. Man, that's not your job. Your job as her boyfriend is to love her and support her. Now, no, you shouldn't be paying her bills when she chooses to go through seven jobs in six months and she chooses to not like certain

jobs the reality is if dave fired me today my bills still need to be paid at the end of the month and that means as a responsible adult i will be on the street i'll give myself 24 hours and then i'm hitting the street the next day looking for pizza delivery jobs and whatever I can scrounge up to pay my bills for my wife and my family. And my wife is probably going to hit the street too and go find a job, right? Because that's what responsible adults do when things fall apart. So no, your job is not to quote unquote support her by paying her bills or stepping in when she quits another job and another job and another job. The reality is, man, this sounds like a messy situation.

It sounds like a situation that's – she's got bigger fish to fry than the work thing. She's got things on her heart. She's got things that she needs to go meet with somebody about. And the reality is, dude, you can't solve these problems. I always fall back, um, on this, on this idea that people are not puzzles to be solved. They are people to be with. Yeah. Right. And so if your girlfriend is looking for you to fix her, man, she's not a machine. If she is looking for you to solve her, she's not a puzzle.

Right. man, she's not a machine. If she is looking for you to solve her, she's not a puzzle, right? And so you need to step back and say, is this the person I want to be with for a while? Is this a person that I want to continue to move forward and closer with in a relationship? And if so, man, y'all need some professional counseling. Y'all need some relationship care. And she needs to, man, to be honest with you, to grow up and face the real world which means

she's got to go get a job she's got to hold the job especially during a pandemic if she finds work she's got to crank it out and she probably needs to go sit with somebody with a professional counselor with a pastor with a mentor who will be honest with her because she's got some stuff she's got to work through brother and that's not your baggage to carry you know dave i i wouldn't say this. Oh, Dave, Dave, Dave, I thought you were calling me Dave Ramsey. Okay, Dave from Pennsylvania. Yeah, yeah.

Gotcha. Oh, yeah, Dave, I like your heart. Let me say that. I believe your heart is in a good place. I hope you listen to the wisdom of what John just gave you. I don't want you to lose your heart. I don't want you to lose your heart I don't want you to lose your heart to want to help your

loved one save that for your spouse for a girlfriend be the man lead by an example if she's upset with you because you weren't willing to pay her bills that's fine give her the door

that she can exit if she wants to leave because you won't pay her bills, that's fine. Give her the door that she can exit, okay? If she wants to leave because you won't pay her bills, then that was never your situation at all. If she stays, tell her, listen, we're gonna both grow together. We're gonna become good stewards with our money. I'm not paying your bills, you're not paying my bills, and we're going to grow together

to one day hopefully be married but if you're looking for a man to pay your bills go get you a boy in a grown man's body because a real man doesn't pay his girlfriend's bills a real man protects and waits until he is married to provide for the family. But a boy would try to impress a girl. So I love your heart. Keep that heart. Keep your mind, but save that for your spouse. But no, brother, no, you ain't doing that wrong. And I was going to let John close it out.

But I mean, you're talking about girlfriend. I could talk about girlfriends. I just can't talk about wives because I ain't married. Why are you looking like that, John? Hey, man, I'm just going to the next call. Oh, man. Let's go out to Washington, D.C. to have a question with Scott. Hey, Scott, real quick, man.

You got about 30 seconds. How can we help? Hey, I just had a quick question for you. My wife and I make about $225K per year. We have about $50K in savings. And we really don't have any debt. But our timeline on living here in D.C. is pretty short, about two years. And we both want to move back west eventually.

We're just wondering, is it smart to buy into a house now while interest rates are low if we're not planning on being here for more than two years no it's not smart i wouldn't no no okay yeah because you you're going to spend a lot of money getting in there you're not going to get the return back that you want i would sit on that 50k that you have in savings account actually put that up a little bit more because when you go out to the west the cost of living is going to be a little bit more expensive well actually you're in washington dc man is there too so i west it's the cost of living is going to be a little bit more expensive well actually you're in washington dc area man is there too so i mean it's going to be about the same let's be real real there so um i will go on ahead and just stack your money now do not invest into a property right now um go ahead and max out like a good roth ra go ahead and put some money into the 401k

right there for another two years because you can always transfer the 401k to the next situation but do not buy property i only advise people to buy property when they know they're going to be somewhere for at least three years all right uh three years and that is it but great question dr d it's been fun today man thank you it's been fun i'm excited about uh what god is doing in your life and your podcast so thank thank you so much. Appreciate it. I want to thank our producer, James Childs, and our associate producer, Kelly Daniel, on the phones. Remember, you guys, the caliber of your financial future,

not your mama's, not your dad's, but yours will be determined by decisions you make today. So go make the right one. This is The Dave Ramsey Show.