The Ramsey Show - App - Do Something Different Even if It’s Hard (Hour 3)

Episode Date: February 15, 2023

Ken Coleman & Dr. John Delony answer your questions and discuss:   "My boyfriend wants me to move in with him", The effect of social media on kids, "How can I start a non-profit?", "Should I sell my cars before moving to Germany?", Making a career change. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Девочка-пай Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods movie and storage studio, this is the Ramsey Show, where we talk about your life with you, specifically your money, your work, your relationships. The phone number is 888-825-5225. I'm joined by Dr. John Deloney. I'm Ken Coleman, and we are here for you this hour. 888-825-5225. Let's go to Charlotte, North Carolina.

Celeste is waiting there. Celeste, how can we help? Hi, thank you so much for taking my call. You bet. My main question is, is my boyfriend and I should split rent 50-50 or by percentage of income in the future? Say what? Are y'all moving in together?

So we've been discussing living together in the future. I'm 22. He's 23. He just graduated from college last year, and he's making 79 right now. I'll be done this year with making 65K. And I said I would prefer to be engaged before moving in together. And we're both lucky enough that our parents are staying home, saving up money, doing the baby steps. But he wants to get a town home in a year and a half from now

and wants me to move in with him and says he intends to marry me and that he'd propose before two years if we get along living together. I would say if you were my sister or my daughter or my good friend, I would say he is out of his mind. I would agree. Okay. I'm going to give this to you. I'm a Christian guy guy i teach sunday school

sometimes okay so i'm gonna put that out there that's not like i'm bringing this this is the data couples that move in together are more likely to get divorced because you because here's why you play house you practice you feel like you're practicing marriage but you're do it without the, the in like, like hammered into concrete come what may, we're still going to be here together. And so you, it's, it's like, it's like jumping out of an airplane and your parachute isn't fully tied up yet. And so I can tell you if it wasn't for marriage, there's multiple times over the course of my 20 years with my wife, we would not still be dating. We would have broken up, but we're married and we both committed to each other. We're in this come hell or high water,

this is happening. And so we stuck it out and we had to figure out how to do something differently. Okay. So that's what, and let me give you the other thing that's making me more uncomfortable than that. I also have to be honest. There's been plenty of people who move in together, get married, and their lives are fine. Okay. So I'm also going to, I know that exists. I don't like the fact that you put a value down and your boyfriend blew you off and said, actually, we're going to do this. And if you're already doing that now, that makes me very uncomfortable about the future direction of this relationship you said i at least want to be engaged i want to have all this paid off i wanted this i wanted this and he's like nah if you move in with me in 18 months you can try out for me for six months and then i might i might uh i might get engaged after that screw that dude

and celeste he's also also saying I get the benefit of you helping cover some of the mortgage. You pay my bills and you can practice being my wife and then I'll let you know in six or eight months if you made the team. True. I guess I was thinking because he said it would be more like

rent is really expensive here too, so he'd be helping me out too. How cute. That's what he spun it. He did a good job of selling you on it but here's the deal you want to find out if this dude's for you or not you want to okay yeah tell him hey i thought about it middle school all right but here's okay but listen you want to know i'm going to tell you how to know and john you correct me if this is too intense but i i think I got it. Here's what I would do. I'd say, you know what? I thought about this. And I initially asked you to put a ring on it before we got into this

decision. I don't feel comfortable with what you came back with because there's so many risks. You can quote some of the stuff that John said, go get your own data and just say whatever you want to do. And then I'd say, okay, I'm going to go a step further though i'm going to take advantage of the offer that my mom and dad have made for me and i'm not going to move in with you until we get married okay okay and then just stop just stop like ultimatum no no no no not an ultimatum this is what i want to do if he hears it as ultimatum and runs that's on him to do. If he hears it as an ultimatum and runs, that's on him. That's where I'm going with this. I think he's going to reveal pretty quickly how much he wants you in his life.

Because to John's point, this dude's got all kinds of conditions that honestly all benefit him. Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. He's got a live-in girlfriend who pays half his rent. He wins. He wins. This is friends with benefits. I didn't think that much about it. he's got a live-in girlfriend who pays half his rent. He wins. He wins.

This is friends with benefits. I didn't think that much about it. And you help pay down his mortgage, and then y'all break up, and aw. And by the way, I've got several friends that I've known since I was zero. We were like toddlers together. I've got several folks that I know from middle school, and they are dramatically different people when they were 22 than they were when they were 11. And they're super different now that they're in their 40s,

both good and both whoa. So just because you've got history doesn't mean it's always right. And now I want you to also take this. Ken and I are pushing on you. I'm not telling you to go dump him today. That's a decision you've got to own. You can't call him and be like, hey, these two clowns on the radio told us, and that's on you. I'm not telling you to go dump him today. That's a decision you've got to own. You can't call him and be like, hey, these two clowns on the radio told us. And that's on you.

That's right. But we're trying to say we both have daughters. We both got wives. We both got colleagues and great friends who are strong, professional women. Listen, I don't like someone blowing your needs off. Just be like, eh, this is how we're going to do this. You're worth more than that. Yeah, and listen, I want to echo what John said.

Celeste, listen to me. We're not saying dump him. I'm saying give him an alternative vision if you believe in that. And I just told you what I would say. You may say, all right, I'm going to wait until the ring's on the finger. But I've got to tell you, I want to see that this dude is committed to me. I'll just give you one other opinion that's based in experience. Yes, please. I'm going to hit 25 years of marriage in May. Okay. Wow. Thank you. I'm not saying that to get the congratulations. I'm telling you what John said is right. Stacey and I will

celebrate that milestone. Not because we're great husbands and wives all the time not because we've got a corner you're not going to see a marriage book coming from ken and stacy coleman but we made it because we committed it was all in if stacy had said i want to wait to move in i would have said you got it because i wanted to marry stacy i still want to be married to Stacy. I want to stay married to Stacy. That's why I've done all kinds of things. And John's right. I got married at 23. I'm not the same guy, thank God, that I was when I'm 23. But I also got a woman that's walked through that journey with me. We've gotten better as individuals. We've gotten better in our marriage. And we've had some tough times and really gotten better in our marriage and we've had some

tough times and really excruciating pain that we've had to walk through together. All I'm saying is we need to know if this guy is all in for the future. And if he is, it's not an ultimatum you're giving him. It is what you believe is right for you in relation to us. And then we're going to find out real quick, is he in it for the benefits or is he in it for Celeste? And listen, last piece of a little wisdom before we hang up on you. Under no circumstances, if you do move in with him, knock your lights out. Do not co-sign on a mortgage together until you're married. It creates a whole big legal mess. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Hey, you guys, health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if

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Members become part of a family who will pray with them and for them when they experience a medical event. So listen, y'all, there's no better way to take care of health care costs. CHM programs start as low as $98 a month. So learn more today and join at chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by Dr. John Deloney. We're here for you this hour, 888-825-5225, taking your money questions, your work questions, your relationship questions, mental health, all of that stuff.

John and I together, let's combo up for you however we can, 888-825-5225. Now, before we get back to the phones, John, you've got a very interesting story that I think has some very, very relevant cultural application here. What do you got? So it's Seattle schools suing TikTok, Meta, and other platforms over the youth mental health crisis. This is out of Yahoo Finance. The article goes on to say, Seattle public schools have sued the tech giants behind these programs, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and Snapchat, accusing them of creating a mental health crisis among America's youth. The 91-page lawsuit suggests they understand and know

and then exploit the addictive nature of social media leading to a rise in anxiety, depression, and thoughts of self-harm. Okay, Your Honor, if I put one of those old powdered wigs on you and the black robe and you're behind the big desk do you accept this lawsuit or do you reject it just on merit alone just on what you've read so under my understanding of what they know about the addictive nature of their platforms and how they work and particularly the way especially tiktok's algorithms are especially designed to capture kids um yeah i would accept it absolutely where this in in the the roadmap for this legal case was made with cigarettes right

like so people are all going to follow that blueprint right y'all knew this was addictive you knew it was killing people and you put that put that research in a drawer and you kept telling everybody it was fine. That's the path. Here's where this feels a little bit different to me. This is very much a both and. I've got no problem with people taking on these big companies that are taking over our kids' minds. But parents have got to step up. Like you can't,

I can't hand my kid a device to the universe and then get mad that people on the other end of that, it doesn't, like, all these devices have off buttons, all of them, they all do. And so if your kid is addicted to TikTok, meta, other platforms, turn it off. They all do. And so if your kid is addicted to TikTok, Meta, other platforms, turn it off. Smash the phones. Dig a hole and bury them. Do something with them.

But moms and dads have got to reclaim their minds of their kids. And I understand people got to travel and drive. And I know that I'm a Luddite when it comes to some of that stuff. And there is a balance there. And there's some emerging technology that allows for this kind of phone to just allow you to text mom. I get all that, all the arguments. What most of this comes down to, and I felt it myself, is every other kid is doing it too. And I want to encourage parents, be the only one.

Be the only one in your friend group whose kids don't have a Facebook account or a meta account and are living in the real world, not in metaverse nonsense, crap on a stick. It's infuriating to me at that level. And somebody's got to take these guys on

because, what does it say here? We have invested heavily in creating safe experiences for children. I love that. And dedicated features to prioritize their well-being. This is a TikTok statement? This is a Google statement.

Oh, Google. Where I would challenge them is, they have, they've done some great things trying to police child pornography. They've done some great things trying to police sex trafficking. To say they are trying to make their platforms less addictive and less keeping kids glued to them is patently false.

And so they're taking one thing they're doing over here and trying to broadly apply it across their case. It's nonsense. Nonsense. glued to them is patently false and so they're taking one thing they're doing over here and trying to broadly apply it across their case it's nonsense nonsense i want to take this another step uh because i it's been reported so i want to be very careful here sure i'm not saying this is fact but it has been widely reported that the chinese version of tiktok is different is math and science related right it is not all the pop culture and the entertainment. Right. If that's true, that asshole has to be a warning sign.

Right. Why is that the case? Well, if you've got another country fiddling with the algorithm that tells our kids, look how great achievements in math and science are. This is what gets kids excited this is what rallies around we all know the the research we want to be like our peers right right and if you move the algorithm over here that suggests hey the next dance is the craze look at all the kids are doing that's where kids are going to go you could take over a country's kids

without ever firing a shot you can just make make everything flashy. I think I hear what you're saying. And put on the right music and we're off to the races. And I completely think that's what's going on. I mean, this is bigger than just parenting. Right. This is bigger. It's big, big, multi, multi-billion, billion, billion, billion dollars.

And that's the... And let's be honest. I try to... I have an Instagram account, right? And if it went away tomorrow, okay. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, completely agree. I mean, the team's trying to get me to do more of it.

I'm slowly adopting it because, again, I didn't grow up with that as the norm. Right. And so now we've gotten to a place where this is all the norm. So, okay, let's say they are successful in shutting down TikTok. What's the next Snapchat? What's the next Instagram? What's the next thing? It's not a surprise that Questions for Humans turned into a million dollar project because people are having a conversation for the first time and it feels right. Their bodies are settling in and going

i just experienced 30 minutes of eye contact with my seven-year-old and i didn't know that was possible that's right and it feels right my granddad just talked to my 14 year old son and my 14 year old son's face is always buried in his ipad and they just had a long conversation i like how this feels right and so i think eventually they shut some of this nonsense down or i can't figure out a way to make this healthy and so you shut it down then people are gonna have to look at each other in the eye and say i guess you want to go out and play basketball you kick a soccer ball right you play dungeons and dragons i don't care what it is but we're gonna sit around table and look at each other and talk yeah by the way those questions for humans cards available at

ramsay solutions.com or johnd delaney.com but if you look at the cigarette application which i think you're right like when they went after the tobacco companies i don't have the numbers in front of me but i don't know if the usage or the sales of cigarettes went down up i don't think it was a big i don't know so do you actually shut a tiktok down uh a social media giant down with a lawsuit i don't know that's that you actually shut a TikTok down, a social media giant down with a lawsuit? I don't know. That's beyond my pay grade. I just know that I guess it makes sense that they're going after him at the same time.

I'm tired of us as a culture getting mad at other people for not teaching our kids things that we should be teaching at home. That's the issue. I agree 100%. There's personal responsibility. Like when people come after me, like, I don't should be teaching at home. That's the issue. I agree 100%. There's personal responsibility. Like when people come after me like, I don't want them teaching that stuff. If I outsource spirituality to my local school or to my private school, I'm failing my kids.

That's my job. If I outsource connectivity, if I outsource love, if I outsource well-being to a school, I'm failing them. If I'm outsourcing, you need to protect what's going in my kid's head. Schools, go fight that battle for me. I'm failing my kids. That's my job, right? To take some ownership over that. And I'm just ready for parents to step back up and not in the dramatic way we see on Instagram where everyone's like, I'm fighting at the school board. No, I'm talking about being honest with your kids, being open with your kids,

being connected with your kids. That's a totally different way of being, man. Well, and honestly, we've got a lot of young parents that are listening and watching the show. Long before social media gets involved, it's the devices themselves. I mean, come on. It's a babysitter at the restaurant. They call them the digital babysitters, man. And I want to ask this. I know this is a deep rabbit hole. We're not going to go down. How much longer, how many more years before we see some

substantive research that tells us, should we be alarmed about all the device usage or is it not that big a deal? Dr. Atiyah, Peter Atiyah had an excellent discussion of an article that came out recently, some good research that suggests someone like me who's always raising the alarms, I'm probably misguided, that a kid in front of a screen is not the end of time. I liken that to giving your kid a couple of chocolate chip cookies every day. It's not going to kill you.

There's no harm in that. But that often gives people license to just give their kids 70 a day. And that does have a long-term effect on your kid. I think it's very similar. If you're a parent that has the discipline to say, I'm going to watch this with you and we're going to discuss it when it's over, then screens can actually lead to connectivity.

If it's a digital babysitter and you just want an hour of peace, which God help me, I've got two young kids. I get that, man, so much. I'm just going to stick them in front of a screen so that I can breathe and stare off into space or that I can scroll my Instagram. Now you've got a problem. Yeah, interesting stuff. All right. We'll see what the future holds around all this stuff.

Thank you guys so much for listening in and watching. We're not going anywhere. Coming up, more of your calls. He's John Deloney. I'm Ken Coleman. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. This is where we talk to you about your life and your money,

your relationships, your mental health, your work, all so that you can walk forward with clarity and confidence to live the life that you desire to live. We're here for you. I'm Ken Coleman. He is Dr. John Deloney. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Brianna is up next in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Brianna, how can we help? Yes, sir. I just started the Baby Steps. I'm a new listener. I've been listening for maybe about a week. Welcome to the gang. Yay. Welcome. Thank you. I was wondering if it would be possible to start a non-profit in the next four years. I have $2,600 in debt and I'm planning to pay that off in the next six months.

I was wondering if you guys had any advice on that. You have $2,600 in debt? Yes, sir. Why is that going to take you six months to pay off? Because I need to rework my payment plan, but I have originally planned to pay off $100 a week. But now since I've been on your guys' show, I'm just going to throw my money at it. But I don't know. Where do you work? I work at a Keith's Superstore. It's a gas station. And so I'm at part-time. I'm planning to go to college in the next, hopefully next spring or next fall for business management because I feel like my life calling is to help people who have lost their parents and stuff. Awesome. That's a beautiful calling. Here's what I want you to do though.

I want you to get a second and a third job and work like a maniac and be done with this in 30 days. And I'm not even playing. And that might sound like you might be like, you're an idiot. I'm telling you, you can scrounge and work and get on Uber Eats tonight and start delivering. Do whatever you have to do. Get this thing out of your life in 30 days and be done. And you are going to walk six inches taller. Yeah. Okay.

Be free of this and prove to yourself, I can do anything in 30 days. Anything. Is that fair? That's fair. What are you making per hour right now, Brianna?. Anything. Yeah. Is that fair? That's fair. What are you making per hour right now, Brianna? $9. Yeah, I got to tell you, I love John's advice because I want you looking around Hattiesburg for hourly jobs. I don't care what it is.

Work full time. I mean, I want you making $15 an hour. What needs to be true for you to make $18 to $20 an hour in Hattiesburg? That's the question I want you to answer. Here's what happens. What John told you is right, whether it's another job, two more jobs, or a better paying job, you walk these baby steps out, before you know it, you've got three to six months of expenses in the bank, and now we look at our future very differently.

And I want to challenge you on something really quick. The nonprofit that you want to start, how will you engage with people who've lost their parents? What is that going to look like? Through word of mouth, mainly. And I've already created a Facebook page for it to start together people because I know there's several support groups on Facebook that people follow. And I really want to reach out to these people. And mainly I'm focusing on the parent and their kids because I lost my mom when I was 11 to cancer. And there was no community that my dad nor I could reach out to to talk about this stuff. And I was inspired by the Mississippi Diabetes Foundation because they have an awesome, they have a two-day camp for kids,

they have a week camp. And so that's eventually what I want it to look like. Great. Okay, so here's what I want you to do. So all the money advice John gave and that we've given you here on making more money and getting yourself stable is great. But I want you to press pause on going to school. I didn't say not go to school, but I want you to press pause until you can start volunteering at the least, working as a second or third job at the most for local nonprofits that are doing this kind of stuff and providing support and communities, maybe summer camps, you know, if you can kind of structure your world and maybe you're working an evening job

in the summer so that you're not gonna have a lot of sleep, but one week of camp a year at a minimum where you're working at these camps and you're getting paid to observe and, and see how they're engaging and it's going to further crystallize your vision for the future. And I want you to get aware of the world that you want to get into to the point where you can decide, do I need a business management degree or do I need to just start working for some nonprofits and learn everything I can about running a nonprofit and get involved, build a community from the ground up in your zip code

before we decide to start this in four years. I want to encourage you. I don't want you to be discouraged at all with what I said. But do you understand what I'm saying will allow you to have a better vision and not feel this pressure to launch this thing in four years? Do you understand what I'm saying? Yes, sir. I understand. And that's actually great advice because I learn more hands-on

than I do from reading anyway. Yeah. And I actually think what's going to happen in two or three years, business management might not make as much sense as getting a therapy degree or a counseling degree or a social work degree and learning the skills to sit with people who are hurting and then learn how to teach other people those skills. So running in and getting a business management degree may cap your growth in a little bit. You have to go hire a therapist for a lot of money for your new nonprofit. All that to say is Ken's right. Take some time. Okay. Take some time. I really want to see you have a full-time job and a side job on top of that. I want you, and by the way, working in a nonprofit,

those people work really, really, really hard for not a lot. So I want you to start practicing working really, really, really hard. Okay? Yes, sir. Get this debt out of there. Get yourself $10,000 or $15,000 in the bank, and then you've got some leverage to decide, I want to go to college.

What do I want to do next? I think that'd be fantastic. Good for you. Okay. Yeah, proud of you. You've got a great heart. You're going to do great things, Brianna. Thank you so much for calling.

Nathan is up next in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Nathan, how can we help? Hi. So I have $300,000 in debt. How much? And I go to $300,000. debt and I go to 300,000. Oh boy. Are you a doctor?

Where are the Toms? No. So a lot of it comes from my, uh, wife's, uh, college choices that she made. Um, but the question that I have is I have three cars in the next year and a half, I'll be going to Germany and I can only take one car. I don't know what to do with the three cars. Should I sell all three cars and buy a cheap car, and hopefully it runs good for all three years, or should I?

Will you need a car in Germany? Yes, for work. Why? Just to get from home to work. They have an exquisite public transit system. I was going to say, I'm going to challenge that. Have you done your homework on that? A little bit, not a lot.

Do a lot more. Sell all three cars. Absolutely all three. The cost, it's going to cost you a couple of grand at a minimum to even get it over there, isn't it? No, it will be paid for by my job. What do you owe on the cars? Start with, you pick them. Car one, car two, car three.

What do you owe? Car one, I owe $22. It's worth $26. Car two, I owe $35. It's worth $18. And car three, I own outright. I can probably sell for $6 to $8. So you're upside down big time in car two.

Correct. What kind of car is it? It's a 2022 Ford Escape. How much is the car worth that you own outright? About $6,000 to $10,000. Okay. Well, John's right. I definitely am selling the car that you owe $22,000 on today.

I'm listing it tonight, and hopefully we get $26,000 for it. So now you got $4,000 there, and you got to put all $4,000 of that on the car that you owe $35,000 on. You're still upside down. And at that point- How are you upside down that much with as wonky as car prices have been? I made a bad decision, traded in a car for, or traded in a truck. You rolled a bunch of equity in? Yes. Ooh, man. Okay. Yikes. Okay. So this is going to be just one of those moments, man. How old are you? 28. Dave used to call it stupid tax. I won't call it that, but I'll just say this is going to be a real expensive smack upside the head. And you'll know to never, ever do this again, right? Correct.

Right. Here's the deal. If I'm you, I'm selling every car I got. And it's cool that my company has this perk, but we don't have to utilize every perk. It's like going to a store and buying something just because it's on sale. You don't have to do that. I'd sell all these three. I'd go to Germany, try to use the public transit system,

and if I have to get a car, then I'll buy a local car used there. But I'm not traveling with a $6,000 car overseas. That just seems silly. And I'd sell them, and y'all are broke, man. You got to get this stuff paid off ASAP. Thank you for the call, Nathan. Hang just seems silly. And I'd sell them and y'all are broke, man. You got to get this stuff paid off ASAP. Thank you for the call, Nathan. Hang on the line. We're going to get you some great resources from our team, Total Money Makeover and some more. Hang on the line. This is The Ramsey Show.

Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman. I'm joined by my colleague, Dr. John Deloney. We're here for you this hour, 888-825-5225. Our scripture of the day comes from 2 Chronicles 15.7. But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded. Our quote of the day comes from the GOAT. I'm just going to say it.

It's not LeBron James. It's Michael Jordan, and I meant it when I said it. Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it. Even his quotes are better than LeBron's. I mean, what do you want? I've got a 14-year-old kid who won't even acknowledge

that Jordan could be the GOAT. I've seen them both play. It's not up for a vote. I'm all about Hakeem Olajuwon, man. Okay, there's another one. Fantastic. That'll get me some hate mail, that statement alone. Yeah, I hope they clip that and put that on the TikToks.

I'll be huge. And the 14-year-olds come after you. I'll blow up. Let's go to Brandon, who joins us now in Raleigh, North Carolina. Brandon, how can we help? Hey, yes, sir. So, hope y'all are doing good, by the way, as well. Oh, we're doing great.

Thank you. I've been with my job now for about 11 or 12 years. I've got good retirement, good pay, benefits, and all that stuff. Kind of getting bored with it, and I don't know if I should make a career change or not because I don't know what to really get into. I thought about flight attendance, but I'm not sure that I will be good at it or won't do it.

I'm not sure. So I'm having a hard time deciding what to do and if i should just kind of sell everything i've got and make a career change and move if i need to or well what's your current job yeah i mean let's let's slow down i like what you've done what are you doing now that is that is causing you to be bored so i work for the county that i live in locate and water and sewer lines and that's pretty much all i do is uh when contract is called i just go out there and mark our stuff so they don't hit it while they're digging i think you might be the first person in human history to go from locating sewer lines

to flight attendants i i know and passing out peanuts you've one dealing with idiots like me like my back hurts and my knees are, like, whatever. Dude, you just made my whole day, man. So here's the question. What made you come up, and by the way, I don't want you to doubt this. I just want you to tell me what's behind the idea of being a flight attendant. Where'd that come from? There's a reason why that pops in your mind.

What is it? I just think flying is cool and traveling and stuff um it's just a change i don't know i kind of i used to while throughout my whole high school year i worked at a restaurant so i waited tables and stuff like that so i don't mind waiting on people and helping people and serving people and stuff like that okay now there all right so let's lock in on that for a moment. And here's the deal. My advice on the flight attendant is I wrote about,

I wrote an entire book on this called the proximity principle. And it simply says this in order to do what Brandon wants to do, he's got to be around people that are doing it and in places where it is happening. And this is also about confirmation. You need to actually talk to some people who are flight attendants. So I think one of your homework assignments is to, through friends of friends or family members, get on the phone or Zoom or lunch or coffee with somebody. You live in Raleigh, so that's a hub for Southwest.

There's got to be a way that you can meet with somebody and just talk to them. You remember doing a term paper back in high school about, okay, what is involved in this career? Just ask all the questions. I want to know the highs. I want to know the lows. What does it take to get qualified? What do you make? What does promotion look like? What's that journey? What's the most like, I mean, you need to know more. It can't just be, I like flying. I like traveling. Now that's the homework assignment on the flight attendant thing, but I want to go back into, you have been in the service industry before, and you said, I didn't mind waiting on people, but I'm curious to know what kind of work, forget about job title, do you think about, because when your mind wanders, I mean, do you really love caretaking, taking care of people and serving people, or is there a different kind of work that you've always kind of been drawn to? What's the answer to that?

I don't know because my mind just goes a thousand miles an hour. I think about going into cutting grass full time, maybe switching to a different government job, real estate, all kinds of stuff. Brandon, what are you and you're thinking? Brandon, what are you running from, man? I don't know. Nothing, really. Yes, you are.

Why don't you like your life? Because all I do, I go to work, I come home, and I'm single, no wife, no kids, nothing like that. So, literally, I go to work, come home, and do nothing except for just hang out at the house, or I go out on my motorcycle or something like that. But the main thing is just boredom. I'm just tired of sitting around the house. Yes. So here's the deal.

John's right. There's some stuff going on here. But I want to take you back. There was a season. There was a time. It may have been two weeks ago. It may have been last night. I don't mean thinking of all these different ideas where you can go work and get a paycheck.

I'm saying, what do you wonder about in the dark of night if i could do this it feels like a unicorn to you it feels like that dream fantasy it's way far out there i could never do it i want to know the thing that you've wondered about the type of work that you go i would love to do that if If I could just snap my fingers, I would do this. And I think you have an answer. You're already thinking of it. Yes, you do. I've done this enough. What is it? Real estate, I would say that's probably been on my mind the most probably. All right. What about real estate connects to some of the moments in your past work life that you've enjoyed? I want you to think about all the time that you've worked, a lot of different things. There have been moments

where you've had enjoyment. You felt like I was making a difference here and it made me stand up a little straighter. And connect those moments to real estate. What about real estate draws you in? Why do you think that you would love that? Get up excited about it. Because I just enjoy houses and people and like looking at the different, how things are built different and stuff like that. Great. Well, if I interviewed everybody that knows you, Brandon, and I said, tell me Brandon's top two or three people skills where he's really good with people, what would they tell me? Just talking and helping. Good.

John, I see a pattern here. And I think he's looking for that role where he can see that he's making a difference in people's lives. And instead of trying to come up with all the ideas, I think it's connecting to the people that he most wants to help and being okay with that answer. What do you think? Yeah. Brandon, before you jump ship on your job, as you start thinking about what is this going to look like? What am I going to do? I want you to look at your life and start doing things differently, even when it feels weird. What I mean by that is stop going straight

home and just turn on the TV and cracking a beer and plopping your feet up and then wait until the day's over so you can get up and do it again the next day. And don't just go on Saturday mornings and put your helmet on and drive your motorcycle around by yourself. You've created a lonely existence for yourself. much rather you see grab a couple of guys and say hey monday nights we go out to wherever and we throw darts we play cards um whatever we do and start creating opportunities for you to hang out with people and create opportunities for your life to be different that's going to give you some clarity on what comes next with your work and let me add one thing to what john said i want you to find in your zip code the area where you frequent. Find some people that have got some needs that you have something to offer, and why don't you go do that?

Instead of going home, like John said, why don't you go volunteer one or two nights over the next couple weeks? Go do something that you're able to do for somebody, some way of service. I think you need to get the juice back. This idea of, hey, I'm making a difference. I'm doing something that put a smile on somebody's face. I helped an old lady

when no one else would help. I think, John, he needs... If you can't find service opportunities in your community, which you can in Raleigh for sure, go get a second gig two nights a week waiting tables. They'd be happy to have you these days, man. They're desperate for help.

But go put yourself in a position to be around other people, man. But to do something fun, like John's saying, it's got to be work that you enjoy. Yes. Hang on the line. We're going to send you the Get Clear assessment, Ken's assessment, so you can start asking yourself, okay, what is life after locating sewer lines? And I'm going to send you questions for humans, guys night out,

whatever else they got. So you can take these out and hang out with some people and say, hey, I got this stuff from this idiot on the radio. Let's try these cards out. And it will at least facilitate some conversation. Have some fun with some people, Brandon. You got a lot to offer, man. You're a bright light. I want to hang out with you, Brandon. You sound got a lot to offer, man. You're a bright light. I want to hang out with you, Brandon.

He's like a cool guy. Absolutely. Come to Nashville. We'll get you some hot chicken and then talk about it. Hey, John Deloney, good hour. Thank you, sir. I want to thank James and the entire crew for keeping us on the air. I want to thank you, America, for listening.

This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Ken. If you like what you heard in this episode and want to know more about getting started on the Ramsey baby steps, go to ramsaysolutions.com and click on the Get Started button. We'll help you figure out the best next step for you based on your specific situation. Again, that's ramsaysolutions.com and click Get Started.