The Ramsey Show - App - Do These 3 Things to Avoid Living in Poverty (Hour 3)

Episode Date: October 29, 2018

The show about you

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. This is your show, America. Thank you for joining us. Open phones this hour as we talk about your life and your money and how those things are tied together. You know, occasionally I catch crap from you people, some of you in the listening audience,

when I address someone who's shacking up versus being married. And you think that I'm just being overly bible thumping or christian or something like that that could be true i can be accused of those things and that's fine and be guilty guilty as charged uh but why would that be why why would i bother and intersect your life on a personal level like that when you're calling to ask me about something else because it's an economic problem really interesting article this week in the federalist federalist.com the federalist.com if you want to look up the article the article says the research proves the number one social justice imperative is marriage.

I don't have time to go through the whole article, but this is just really intriguing research. It says, just 70 years ago, social mobility and protection from poverty were largely a factor of employment. Those who had full-time work of any kind were seldom poor. 50 years ago, education marked the gulf, separating the haves and the have-nots. For the last 20 years or more, though, marital status has increasingly become

the central factor in whether our neighbors and their children rise above, remain, or descend into poverty. The research is astounding. In 1960, the poorly and moderately educated were only 10% less likely to be married than the college educated, with both numbers quite high, 84% and 94% respectively. That parity largely held until the late 1970s, i.e. the sexual revolution, by the way. Professor Bill Galston, president of Clinton's, president Clinton's domestic policy advisor

and now a senior fellow at Brookings, explained that in the early 1990s that an American need only to do three things to avoid living in poverty, graduate from high school, marry before having a child, and have that child after age 20. Only 8% of the people who do so, he reported, will be poor, while 79% who fail to do those all three will be poor. If you fail to do that, wait until after 20 to have kids, wait to have kids until after you're married and graduate from high school, you're 79% more likely to be in poverty. Only 8% who follow the sequence are in poverty.

You want to do away with poverty? Get it in the right order. That's what the data shows. Graduate from high school. Get married. Have a kid. After you're married, after 20. Those are the only things you've got to do.

And then you have a 92% likelihood you won't be in poverty. You have a 79% likelihood you will be in poverty if you don't do it in that order. That's amazing. Sociologists have referred to keeping these things in proper order as the success sequence. It remains true according to new research investigation from Brookings and the American Enterprise Institute. It takes a deeper look. At the first comes love, then comes marriage sequence by class and by generation. A recent report on this topic focusing on millennials reports that 97% of those who follow the success sequence earn at least a high school diploma, work, and marry before having children, will not be poor as they enter their 30s.

This is largely true for ethnic minorities and those who grew up in poor families. But sadly, fewer millennials are keeping these things in order compared to their boomer and exer-forebearers. By the way, if you don't know the statistics, sidebar, more people now live together that are not married than live together who are married. Yeah, if you're old enough to remember Leave it to Beaver, June and Ward Cleaver, they're dead. Okay?

More people now shack up than not. Interesting. And the success sequence of First Comes Love is so much more than moral choice, according to this article, or romantic idealism. These are deeply pragmatic economic decisions, powerfully affecting class mobility, where people live on the social scale, and the opportunities they will be able to provide for their children. This is because of the extraordinary economic power of marriage.

The consistent and irrefutable mountain of research has shown, reaching back to the 1970s and beyond, that marriage strongly boosts every important measure of well-being for children, women, and men. Pick any measure you can imagine. Overall physical and mental health, income, savings, employment, educational success, general life contentment, happiness, sexual satisfaction, even recovery from serious disease, healthy diet and exercise, married people rate markedly and consistently better in each of these and so many more compared to their single, divorced, and cohabitating peers.

This, thus, marriage is an essential active ingredient in improving one's overall life prospects, regardless of class, race, or educational status. That is why it's not merely one parent versus two parent families that make the difference. The U.S. Census Bureau finds that the poverty rate for children living in poverty with two unmarried cohabitating parents is similar to that of single mother homes rather than those that were married mother and father. Married people, regardless of how much they have, tend to manage their money differently than divorced, single, and cohabitating people.

This just goes on and on and on and on. Where is it? Only 4% of the homes with a married mother and father are on food stamps, but 21% of cohabitating and 28% of single mother homes require such public assistance. There's a high correlation between economically winning and getting married before having children, graduating from high school, and having children after 20. These are decisions. You get to decide.

You're not a victim of your choices. You are a result of your choices. You get to decide these things. Decide these things. Here's another example. Did you know that you're statistically very likely to stay married if you're

engaged at least six months? You want to add probability to stay married? Engage six months and make $50,000 a year household income or greater. Oh, add probability to that? Four years of education.

Oh, add probability to that? Pre-marriage counseling in-depth. Not a drive-by, one-hour session with the preacher, but I'm talking about in-depth pre-marriage counseling in-depth. Not a drive-by, one-hour session with the preacher, but I'm talking about in-depth pre-marriage counseling where you talk about her mama. Yeah, you can change this. You can make decisions to change your whole direction of your family tree. This marriage thing is real. This is very interesting. Very interesting. The Federalist.com. The research proves the number one social justice imperative is marriage. Are high health care costs getting you down?

Are you confused trying to navigate your options? Do you wish you could find an affordable, biblical solution to your health care costs? Based on New Testament principles, Christian Health Care Ministries, or CHM, helps Christian families, churches, and ministries join together as the body of Christ to share their major health care costs. Christian Health Care Ministries is the original health cost-sharing ministry. A Better Business Bureau-accredited organization, CHM members share to pay each other's medical bills. It's not insurance. It's Christians financially and

spiritually supporting each other. It's what Christian Healthcare Ministries has done for over 35 years, and our members have shared over $2.5 billion in medical bills. To learn more, visit chministries.org. That's chministries.org. Christian Healthcare Ministries is a proud sponsor of Dave Ramsey Live Events. chministries.org. Thanks for joining us, America. Tori is with us in Cleveland, Ohio. Hi, Tori. How are you? Hi, Dave. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up in your world?

Well, I'm preparing for separation, and I'm not quite sure what to do with my debt, specifically my student loan debt. Okay. Okay. A separation from your husband or your job? I'm sorry. Yes, from my husband. Okay. A separation from your husband or your job? I'm sorry. Yes, from my husband. Okay.

And so you're preparing for a separation. How long have you all been married? About 22 years. Oh, my goodness. It must be bad. It's just that we are just not on the same page anymore and with other things, but with money as well. And it's just something I just don't want to go on with. Have you guys been seeing a marriage counselor?

Uh, that's something he's not willing to do. Have you gone? No. Okay. Please do that for you. Even if he won't go. Okay. I think it will give you good emotional information.

Twenty-two years is a long time, and you need to have somebody walk with you who's not in the fog if you go through this, and maybe give you some information to give him a little bit of a wake-up call as well. But back to your original question, I have a friend of mine that teaches divorce recovery recovery after a divorce and um i remember many years ago hearing her say divorce turns a marriage into a business transaction

and so it comes it real quickly the emotions are carved off and set over to one side, and the actual technical, legal, financial details are on the other side. And it becomes a very transactional kind of thing at that point. Does that make sense? Yes, it does. And so here's a couple of things to look at. Your student loans are your student loans. They're going to go with you.

You may or may not get alimony, child support, or something else, but your student loans are going to go with you, and you're going to have to pay them. So what is your personal income? It's $50,000. Okay. And so what you start doing is, if this is a direction that, you know, after seeing a counselor and doing everything you can to save a 22-year investment, and with all the help you can get,

you start preparing for living on your own for $50,000 a year. And you look at your student loans. How much student loan debt have you got? Oh, you're going to kill me. I'm sorry? $160,000. Oh, my Lord. Okay.

Well, I would let them know that this is going on hardship deferral until you get past whatever else is going on here. Okay. Now, do you all own a home? Yes. What's it worth? $200,000. What's owed on it? $170,000.

Okay. So no equity there to amount to anything. All right. Is your car paid for? Yes. Is his car paid for? No. Okay.

Is your name on that loan? No. Good. Okay. Are there any credit cards that have both of your names on them? There is one, but I refuse to let him use it. I'm sorry? Oh, you refuse to let him use it.

Oh, better than that. Close that account today. Just completely close the credit card. If he has the number, he can use it if he's one of the users on the card. Period. And if things go sideways emotionally inside your house, I have run into situations in 30 years of doing this where somebody takes a Mexico trip and puts it on the card.

And you don't want to pay for a $5,000 cruise for somebody else. And it'll end up on this card. So close the account today. Just completely shut it down. Is it zero balance? Yes. Good. Close it.

Okay. Does your checking account have both names on it? No. Okay. So your money is separated by and large. Is there any other debt or debt instrument that's open that has both of your names on it? No, no. Okay.

Except your mortgage probably has both your names on it. Okay. So here's what happens. You can't afford to keep this house. You can't stay there. No. So the house needs to either be refinanced to get your name off of the mortgage or sold. You cannot stay on the mortgage and give him the house.

That would be dumb. And people often do that in a divorce. They often do that. But just, you know, the negotiation is the car is in his name. He keeps his car. Your car is in your name. You keep your car. Your checking accounts are already separated.

There's no other debt. You get your student loan debt. Does he have any big savings or investments, or do you, in 401Ks? Not big, no. How much? I have $10,000 in 401K, and I'm not sure what he has, but I'm thinking it's about $5,000 or $6,000. Not much at all. Okay.

What is his income? It's around $90,000. Okay. In most states, your attorney would have to advise you, but in most states, you would be due some alimony after 22 years and that will going with your 50 000 is how you will reset your life and stay out of debt and start working your way through these student loans that are outrageous and are going to take you some time to work through um but you're going to be working extra job you're going to be doing everything else taking any money you can squeeze out of your budget and you are not going to mexico you got a mess on your hands okay no i'm

not so um unless it's to escape no just kidding but uh but the so you know you're gonna be on beans and rice rice and beans you're gonna get the cheapest apartment you can get you're gonna stay debt free and address these student loans as soon as you can get stabilized after the separation which will lead to a divorce unless it leads to you all getting back together. Okay. But you prepare for separation the same way financially you would prepare for a divorce, and that puts you in a position of strength to negotiate in the divorce financially, and

that's something that you'll have to do. And your attorney, and you get representation, and you'll have to do and your attorney and you get representation and you'll be ready to pay them pile up money for deposits and for paying them don't pay extra on the student loans until you get the other side of this and i just put them on hardship deferral and pay nothing right now but let's get the other side of this but but my hope is is that you guys you can see a counselor who can give you some words to say, some tools to give Bubba a wake-up call. Maybe the two of you sit down with a coach, a counselor,

and walk you through turning the corner on all of this before you get so far around the corner we can't get you back. And maybe you can save this thing. That would be best for everybody involved, assuming the issues that you have that are causing you such concern are addressed. Save this thing. That would be best for everybody involved. Assuming the issues that you have that are causing you such concern are addressed. And I'm sure that sounds like it's a pretty long list. But sit down and address them.

See a counselor for your sake. Call your pastor. Say, who can I sit down with that can walk me through the right questions to ask myself, the right questions to ask him, because he may think you're kidding. He may think you're bluffing. And when you actually move out, it may wake him up, and he may be willing to work on that list at that point. I don't know.

But those kinds of things are best guided by a really good marriage counselor that's really experienced and wise and godly counsel will help you in that situation. And I sure hope you guys can turn that around. That would be my hope for you. It would be better for all of you financially as well as everything else. So good question. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. You jump in. We'll talk about your life and your money.

Interesting data that just came out on an article I read on the air about marriage and that men who are married make more on average, about 15% more than men who aren't married. Women make 25% to 30% more that are men who aren't married women make 25 to 30 percent more that are married than aren't married i don't know why that is exactly but it's an interesting discussion to think about this is the dave ramsey show One question I get asked all the time is, do I need life insurance? Listen, the whole point of life insurance is to replace your income for someone who counts on you. So if you have a spouse or you have kids, yes, you need term life insurance. It's the only way to protect them until you're out of debt and have built up your wealth. You're only digging a deeper hole if you waste money on cash value plans

since it robs you of the ability to make real progress. And that's why I send you to Zander Insurance, and I have for 20 years. That's where I get all my insurance, and they only offer the plans I recommend. It is not expensive. It's not complicated. And Zander will be there as your guide every step of the way. Visit Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. You need to get this taken care of. I can give you the advice and I can tell you where to go, but it's really up to you to take that important step to get

your family protected. That's Zander.com or 800-356-4282. Thank you for joining us, America. We're glad you're here. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Preston is with us in Jacksonville, Florida. Hi, Preston. How are you? I'm doing great, Dave. Thanks for taking my call.

Sure. What's up? So I'm currently on baby steps four and six. And I'm calling about my house and whether or not I should start throwing all my extra money at it that's left in my budget. Because I'm 30, I'm single, and I'm worried that, you know, when God does provide me that woman that's going to be my bride, my goal is to have the house paid off by I'm 40. If I get it paid off, maybe she doesn't want to be here forever. And I'm not sure that I'll stay here.

So does it make sense to start throwing all that money at it to get it paid off early, two years into the mortgage, goal to pay it off by the time I'm 40? I was wondering if you think it makes sense to throw all that money at it when you're a single male. I'm not sure if I'm going to stay here forever. Absolutely, you should throw the money at it with me being a single male. I'm not sure if I'm going to stay here forever. Absolutely, you should throw the money at it. Here's the interesting thing. We're not spending the money.

When you reduce your mortgage and your home is paid off and you sell your home, they give you a check, and all that money comes back to you. So it's not like you're throwing the money away. You're actually investing it at the rate of interest that your mortgage's interest is. How much is your mortgage interest rate? It is 3.375%, sir. Okay, so you have a 3.375% savings account that you can't withdraw from until you sell it.

Yes, sir, and I i just talked i'm sorry yeah just chunk it in there i mean 15 of your income and baby step four going into retirement live your life and extra money that you find or squeeze throw it at the mortgage until the house is paid off if you do pay it off and uh said young lady comes along and you guys choose not to live there or you just choose not to live there, you sell the house, they give you a check, all that money comes back to you. We're not spending the money. The money's not leaving. It's just being deposited into the house. You see the difference? Yes, sir.

It's not going anywhere. So, yeah, I'm going to go ahead and pay it on the house. There's no downside to this, except that you can't get to the money without selling the house, which is actually kind of a good thing. Cindy is with us in Houston, Texas. Hi, Cindy. How are you? Good. How about you?

Better than I deserve. What's up? Well, me and my husband are currently working the baby steps. We're in baby step number two. And I'm sorry, I'm under the weather. Okay. We recently celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. Yay. Yay.

And with that, he went out and purchased me this beautiful anniversary ring and put it on credit. And it's $4, thousand dollars additional and i'm torn between keeping it or returning it i don't understand how his brain works i thought you said the two of you were working on a plan to get out of debt i thought we were too yes i'm more concerned about the fact that he's not on this plan than I am the ring. I agree. Because, I mean, next week he's going to finance power tools. Yes.

And then he's going to come on with a new bass boat three weeks from now. Well, how about a new lawnmower? There you go. There you go. Let's finance that $6,000 John Deere lawnmower. You might be a redneck if you have payments on your riding mower. Yes. You know, I mean, serious. Do you see the breakdown?

Yes. The breakdown is we can't get out of a hole while we're digging out the bottom. That's what I told him. So I'm a lot more concerned about his lack of grasp that this was the family goal than I am whether or not you keep this ring. Personally, I'd take it back. I i mean i've been married 35 years and it's just you know it'd be nice to have a nice ring and you can get you another ring i mean there's just stupid rings everywhere i mean it's not a big thing it's not like it's your wedding ring or something it was a an anniversary gift that you all couldn't afford. Exactly.

And, I mean, sweet, but dumb. Mm-hmm. You know? Right? Yes. I agree. But I think the thing is here, yeah, I'm probably taking it back, but more importantly, I want to take his brain and screw it back in a little bit better, you know? And the two of y'all decide, are we really doing this or not?

Because otherwise, you're never going to get there. Because apparently, he's not on the same page you're on. That's a big thing. I mean, 90% of this question is around that. 10% is on whether to keep the ring or not. See? And so this ring is not going to make or break your get-out-of-debt plan, one way or the other.

But this behavior will. And this lack of being on the same page will so you know let's just talk this through and make sure we're on the same page and then you guys decide together what to do with the ring and i don't know i it just represents dumb and so i'm not ever going to really be able to enjoy it if i'm you uh because it's just in violation of where you thought your whole family was heading it's like just kind of you guys are just too old to do that kind of stuff so i mean that's a 20 year old stuff right there open phones at 888-825-5225. Shea is with us in Fort Worth.

Hey, Shea, how are you? I'm good. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up? So I recently discovered you, I guess recently is about three years ago. Started doing a few things. We ended up selling a house to get out of debt from your teachings. My father died about five years ago on a motorcycle accident, and there were a bunch of life insurance policies that went through.

Our personal financial advisor has been advising my mother ever since then. And the question that I have is he put her in an annuity about five years ago whenever my dad died, $300,000 into the annuity. And then the other investments, he just invested and they've been growing a little bit here and there. But the question is the annuity. Just recently, we've hit the five-year mark and he's advising her to pull the money out and start investing it, which I think is a good idea. However, the question is that should she have had should she have had that the

money invested initially at the beginning of the term, you know, instead of putting annuity, she brings home about $3,500 a month in retirement and social security. So she doesn't need the draw on the annuity at all. And he knew this at the beginning of the time. Yeah. Well, yeah, you're right. I, that makes me question other things that are going on that I don't know what they are if I'm you. Right. Because I personally would have put all of it into good investments at the time. You know, is the home paid off? Home is paid off 100%.

Cars are paid off. She has zero debt. Zero. Good, good, okay. And how much is in investments total this 300 plus um yeah we're looking at probably about 420 450 000 uh total with all the investments if you add the house another 50 to 60 yeah how old is 100 there how old is she uh she is six she just turned 60 okay all right cool and she's in great health so she's not like

an old 60 year old who's on her way out she's in great health good i'm feeling better at 57 to hear you say that so um uh i'm not on my way out today either uh anyway uh at least not to my knowledge anyway so yeah i'm probably going to question all of that i mean it's um it's not it's not like you put her in a whole life policy which would be like a deal breaker or something silly like that i mean it just the annuity is is you know got a lot more fees to it a lot more commission to it and if it was a variable annuity and the money was in good mutual funds it probably performed okay uh they're okay um but it's not my favorite thing to do but it's not to the point that i like question his entire competency i just

really want to know if it wasn't right for her then if it's not right for her now why was it right for her then that's a good question in your mind mr advisor and i think you got the right to ask that question and talk it through with them and if you can't get a comfort level or if he bows up on you and starts having an attitude, then that's when you know it's time to move anyway. So you do that with any financial people or people that are advising you on technical matters. When they start getting like you have to owe them an explanation instead of vice versa, it's time to move on. Insurance lady gets an attitude, it's time to move on, right? Your estate planner is too smart to sit down and explain something to you.

Then it's time to move on. So, you know, you just got to get folk in your corner that have the heart of a teacher. So if he can walk you guys through what his thinking was and you can get comfortable with it, then you'd stay with him and continue to invest in good growth stock mutual funds with long track records, which is where I personally would have had her the whole time. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. our scripture of the day genesis 2 genesis 2 15 the lord god took the man and put him in the garden of eden to work it and keep it gave him a job before he gave my wife Garden of Eden to work it and keep it.

Gave him a job before he gave him a wife. Theodore Roosevelt said, far and away, the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. Mike is in Los Angeles. Hey, Mike, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, thanks, Dave, for having me. Sure, what's up? Last year, my brother went through a terrible work accident, and after many grueling months of court appearances,

he's going to be receiving a large settlement in full. My question is, as he leans on me and others for technological and financial advice, I want to be able to steer him in the right direction. And I was wondering what kind of advice you can provide so that I can be both a supportive brother and friend while maintaining a healthy distance while he gets back on his feet. How much will he be receiving? Somewhere in the ballpark of $20 million to $30 million. Goodness!

Yeah. So I assume he's pretty messed up. Yeah, to say the least. How old is he? He'll be 28. Okay. What's the nature of his disabilities? Losing a limb.

Okay. In a concrete labor accident. Gotcha. Okay. Leg, arm, what? Leg. Okay. Leg, arm, what? Leg. Okay. Alright. And not to minimize that, because that's a horrible

thing, but that's all? Yeah, and you know, I think basically what's been happening is there's been many different disputes back and forth and counter-suing going on by lawyers and things like that. But that's all behind us, you think, now? You think this is coming to a head?

I think it's finally getting to the point to where there's going to be actual, real settlement talks. And there's just been some shady things going on in the court cases. Well, with $20 million, they're going to mess with it. You can count on that. Yeah. Okay. Wow. All right. million dollars they're gonna they're gonna mess with it you can count on that yeah okay wow all right so uh and what is his emotional and mental state i think honestly he just wants to be working he wants to be back at work he doesn't want to get what a prosthetic leg and he'll be

able to do something with his mind now he won't be doing heavy lifting things or something like that probably right exactly that's that's the hope except for he's got a desire to do those kinds of things and so it's really killing him to just sit around well i don't want him to sit around but i mean um you know you usually actually make more money with your mind than you do with your body anyway, right, as a career path, generally speaking. And so that's forced upon him here, which is not a bad thing, is what I'm thinking. So I think he gets to sit down and ask himself the question, what do I want to do if I could do anything in the world? Because now he can do anything in the world, right?

Right. And so I'm going to coach him on finding a career that he loves, and I'm going to spend a very small percentage of this money because it won't take a percentage of that much money to do some kind of retooling as far as education goes and saying, okay, I'm going to get a degree in X or Y or I'm going to get some training in X or Y, and I'm going to learn to be one of those things over there, whatever those things are that he wants to do. So what's he want to be when he's 55 years old,

that he's made his life's work and his career, and he gets to choose that now? That's awesome. It could be a self-employed track. It could be a track of some kind of a, I don't know, I mean anything, but it's obviously not going to be something that is physically demanding. Okay? Right. That's okay. That's okay.

In terms of technology, though, he's kind of wanting to start his own business now. He's getting all these ideas in his head. What are the tax implications on something like this that he's going to be facing with? It depends on how the settlement is structured, and you'd have to talk with his attorney and with some tax advice to find out how it's structured. I assume he's in California as well? That's correct. That's the first thing you need to do is figure out what the taxes are going to be and what the lawyer's fees are going to be, and then know what you're going to have net. The second thing, then, is figure out

what we're going to do. I would urge him to pretend like this money's not there, by and large. Let's say there's $20 20 million after taxes just to use a number okay and if you pulled if you pulled a million out to start a business and to coast for a little while emotionally and that leaves you 19 million that you just pretend like it's not there does that make sense that's pretty dead yeah i mean you can do about anything you want to do with that right that's a lot of freaking money. Right. Absolutely. But something along those lines. And then what I want him to do is to build himself a – the Bible says in the abundance of counselors, there is safety.

In the multitude of counselors, there is safety. So he needs to build himself a little board of directors. He needs an estate planner that's a lawyer. He needs a tax professional, probably that is a lawyer, but at a minimum is a CPA. He needs an investment person in his corner. He needs probably you and someone else sitting there that will look at him and tell him he's stupid when he's being stupid okay and he needs to commit himself to gathering information from this group of people before he does something does that make sense because the way people lose money like this is is that they go off on their own and they don't have the tools mentally to to manage this and you've got to put some people in your life,

not that do it for you, but that coach you as a group to do this. I don't want one person managing it with him. That's how he gets shystered, right? And I don't want you doing it by yourself because you're probably not completely equipped. But we're going to put a group of people around him. If he wants to do some real estate, then he has a high-quality real estate person sitting on his little board, right? But we've got a CPA.

We've got an estate planner. We've got a tax person, maybe a real estate person, maybe an investment person in the mutual funds world. And then we're going to build a game plan here. This is what we do with, like, an NFL player that asks us what to do. They get a $10 million signing bonus, and they're really good at football, but they are not really good at money and so they don't if you don't want to end up on the front of sports illustrator being one of those stupid people that lost 10 million dollars here's how you do it you put some people in your corner that teach you coach you and guide you as a group you don't have one person doing it and then you

gradually over the years become very adept at managing 20 million dollars with the help of these people teaching you and they all need to have the heart of a teacher they don't need to be arrogant and bossy but then and they need to say oh they need to be able to look at him and tell him the truth and kindly but go listen here's why you don't want to do that you can do it but here's why you don't want to do that and then and he needs to commit to keeping his hands off of the bulk of it and put it in investments and forget it that. And he needs to commit to keeping his hands off of the bulk of it and put it in investments and forget it's there. And he can live the rest of his life easy, easy.

But if he goes and decides to open a $20 million technology thing, he's going to lose it all by the time three years from now all the money will be gone. Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of too. So don't do that. Don't open a $20 million business. Don't open a business that takes up all this. Open a business that's very small. He's got plenty of money.

He doesn't have to prove anything, okay? Just take your time. Be the tortoise, don't be the hare. Just take your time. Put a group of counselors in the multitude of counselors for safety. Put a group of counselors in your life that are professionals in the different areas. They can speak to you, teach you. And how old is he today?

28. Okay. So the goal is by the time he's 38, he has a clue. Okay? Yeah. Along the lines of managing $20 freaking million. It'll take 10 years for him to intellectually and emotionally get his arms around it. And he'll lose it all if he starts trying to do one or two plays with all that money.

I'm going to open a chain of pizza parlors. It's all gone. It's all gone. I'm going to be the next Facebook. No, you're not. It's all gone. It's all gone. Okay?

So take a small amount of it and get yourself back to work to give you the dignity of work and to create an income where you really don't need any of that money anyway and it's just sitting there growing and then this horrible tragic event turns into a financial blessing that changes his family tree for the you know for generations to come because he's wise with it does that make sense yes thank you very much i appreciate all the advice. Hey, that's exactly what we would do if we were in that situation. Appreciate you calling. Our thanks to James Childs, Kelly Daniels, and Blake Thompson.

I am Dave Ramsey, your host. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, it's Kelly Daniel, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show. Did you know that in 2017, Dave Ramsey Show listeners paid off $50 million of debt? That's pretty impressive. And it could be you this year.

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