The Ramsey Show - App - Do We Need To Be Ready Financially To Start a Family? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: October 8, 2021

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Thank you very much. live from the headquarters of ramsey solutions broadcasting from the dollar car rental studio this is the ramsey show where america hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money i'm christy wr Wright and joining me today is my good friend, fellow Ramsey personality, Rachel Cruz, and we are taking your calls and answering your questions. We love talking to you. We love hearing your stories and y'all know we love giving advice. So if you've got a question about money and you're not sure what to do next, how to work the baby steps, what about a specific situation with your money. Rachel is here.
Starting point is 00:01:06 I'll jump in. Of course, if you have a question about how to have more time, reach your goals, start a side business or small business, or maybe grow your business, really whatever you want to talk about, we're here for you. 888-825-5225. We are going to kick this off with Rachel in Milwaukee. Hey, Rachel. How are you? Good. How are you in Milwaukee. Hey Rachel, how are you? Good, how are you guys doing? Good, what's going on?
Starting point is 00:01:30 So my husband and I have kind of been wrestling with a decision. We've been married for about two years now and are starting to think about the timing of when we want to start a family. So I know this decision, you know, it is going to have a big impact on our lives, and I'm the nerd, and I want to consider all of the factors that kind of go into that. So I know you two are, you know, proud mamas, and I was just hoping you might be able to shed a little light on how we might go about this. That's so great. I have my knee-jerk answer.
Starting point is 00:02:05 I know what it is. Go on. Go on. I mean, Rachel, start a family when you want to start a family. I don't think you have to be in a certain place financially. I mean, obviously, yeah, if you guys have stable careers and no debt, I mean, there's obviously financial life situations that will make it less stressful, but I don't think that any of those need to stop you from from having a baby i think these life decisions whether it's
Starting point is 00:02:29 getting married starting a family it needs to come from you guys and when you guys are ready so that's my that's my we can we can dig into it more but that's my just well i can answer and because rachel because you're the nerd admittedly you said it not me because you're the nerd, admittedly, you said it, not me, because you're the nerd. You, Rachel, not this Rachel. I'm a free spirit. No. You take the nerd, Rachel. You're talking to two free spirits here. So we're like, ah, it's great.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Go ahead. Do the thing. But for you, I'm sure it feels intimidating. Like, oh, it's going to add so much money. And the reality is a baby, as wonderful as this is, is something that when you have a baby, you just begin to put line items in the budget for that baby's needs. And so whether it's diapers or whatever, that just becomes a new line item that is either increased from household expenses, however you
Starting point is 00:03:16 name it, or a new line item that is not there currently. And you just begin to plan for that. So for you, is there something specific about your financial situation that you feel like is kind of a hang-up for you, or is it just the unknown of how much that's going to cost of actually having a child? Yeah, I think it's actually not so much the financial part. We don't have any debts, but we have recently gone through some career transitions, my husband and I, and I am working on wrapping up an online master's program in the spring. So it's just kind of, you know, do we, you know, go ahead and just go with it? Or do we kind
Starting point is 00:03:56 of, you know, plan it very strategically? What do you want? What do you want to do? Do you want to finish your master's and all that and start a family in 12 months? Do you want to start next month? When do you want to have a baby? I can't decide. Some days I'm like, okay. She's like, that's what I called you to. I'm like, let's go.
Starting point is 00:04:17 I mean, honestly, Rachel, it really is. I don't want to be a broken record on this call, but I mean, it really is when you and your husband are like, okay. And let me say this too. You're never going to actually feel like, oh, we're for sure ready. That's a fact. Like there's always going to be something. Oh, we didn't travel to this place or we didn't make this amount of money or we didn't, we need that. I mean, there's always going to be something out there.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Now, is there a common sense factor of this that maybe you want to finish your master's before you have a big... Sure, that's great. You've been working a master's plan. And if you're like, yeah, the timeline, I'd rather get that done and get that out of the way. I mean, I don't know. It's going to really have to be something that you guys are to the point that you're like, we're ready. Well, and the other piece of this, which I think is just everyone listening to this understands intuitively, but is important to say out loud,
Starting point is 00:05:07 is you can't fully control it. That's true. And so you've got to be ready whenever you guys are ready in case it comes easy for you. And you've also got to understand that it may not. And you take six months, a year, longer. And so there is an element of this of,
Starting point is 00:05:21 yes, you can plan as much as you want to plan as the nerd, as the planner, the masters consider all the things and still know there's a piece of this of, yes, you can plan as much as you want to plan as the nerd, as the planner, the masters consider all the things and still know there's a piece of this that you're holding with open hands and trusting and knowing that you're going to control what you can and trust with what you can't control. So I know that this is probably not the answer you wanted, Rachel, but it is such a personal decision. And if anything, I hope we just encouraged you that it's not a financial decision.
Starting point is 00:05:46 It's a personal decision. And it's something you pray about. If you're a person of faith, you talk to your spouse about, and you guys make the best decision you can with the information that you have. But I love what Rachel said that is absolutely oh so true. You're never fully ready.
Starting point is 00:06:00 There's never this moment like, yes, I'm ready. I totally know what to expect. I have got it. That probably doesn't come. So you just make the best decision with the information that you have. All right. Going to go to Josh in Spokane, Washington. Hey, Josh, how are you? Hey, I'm doing fine. So my question is, so I'm saving up. I'm still in debt with my mortgage, about $130,000. And so I saved up, I actually have about $110,000 right now. It's all in one bank account. And so my wife telling me, you know, there's some bank, there's probably not the best decision to have it all in one spot. I wanted just to ask you that um for like a investment purpose or for a safety purpose like
Starting point is 00:06:48 what what makes you think not it it's really just there you know once once the money's there to pay off the mortgage um and and to do that and basically her rationale is too much too much cash to have in one bank account. Would you have any suggestions on how to spread that out a little bit? So I just want to recap something and clarify something. So you have $140,000 that you owe in your mortgage, and you have $110,000? $130,000, but yeah, and I have about $110,000 saved up to pay off that mortgage. Okay, what have y'all been waiting on in terms of putting that large amount of money that you have on the mortgage?
Starting point is 00:07:30 Why are you waiting to do it all at one time? Well, just so we refinanced here about a year and a half ago. And then just not, I guess, just to have a little bit of a safety net, not to put all of that on the mortgage at one time because we continue to make mortgage payments. Right. Well, not all of it, but like, I don't know, 70, 80. Like just to put a big chunk on it to bring down your balance, your interest, everything while you're in the process. I mean, you guys are so close to the finish line. It's irrelevant now. But I was just curious if there's a reason to wait to do it all at once.
Starting point is 00:08:07 Well, there was some discussion at one point as far as selling the house here recently. And so that never transpired. But either way, the money's still there. Go ahead. Well, I was going to say, make sure that you have an emergency fund. You guys need like six months set aside out of that $110,000 if you don't already.
Starting point is 00:08:24 And that's kind of your cushion. That's your safety net. And then throw everything else. Yeah. At the mortgage. You got cash there. Yeah. Put it at the principal. And it's in a savings account because it's accessible. It doesn't need to be spread anywhere else because we just need to access it in order to make that payment when you're ready to. So savings is fine for now. Don't invest it. Yep. Yeah. Thanks for calling. Great job. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, I'm Christi Wright. Let's be honest. When it comes to our quiet time with God, sometimes we struggle to make the time and get into good habits. That's why I'm so excited to tell you about the Glorify app. For me, it has been an absolute game changer. Every morning, Glorify guides me through God's Word with a bite-sized Bible reading, a daily devotional, and a guided reflection that simply helps me to connect with God. Give Glorify a try. Just search for Glorify
Starting point is 00:09:22 in your app store. it's free to download well we've heard all the excuses people use to put off making a will you're're busy. It's confusing. It's expensive. It's morbid and makes you uncomfortable. Well, our Ramsey Solutions research team found that 74% of parents don't have a will. Guys, this is too important. You need a will to protect your family, even if it's uncomfortable for you to do it. Stop putting it off and get it done. Start with our free will preparation checklist. This guide helps you think through seven important areas like naming guardians and beneficiaries, plus all the little things you haven't thought of, maybe didn't want to think of.
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Starting point is 00:11:08 to Life Balance that just launched a couple weeks ago. How's it going? How does it feel? How does it feel? It's out in the world. It's so fun to hear the feedback. Yes. Because you know this, anytime you put something out there in the world, you're like, I hope
Starting point is 00:11:21 they like it. You know, like it's like you pour your heart into it. Our editing team makes it better and fixes all the grammar and punctuation, but you don't know until it's in someone's hands. And it has done so well. It actually hit the bestseller list two weeks in a row, which is huge. And then you're hearing this feedback of people going, I've never heard of Life Balance talked about this way.
Starting point is 00:11:42 This didn't just give me my time back. It gave my power back. And so it's been really fun to hear it's actually helping people, which by the way, is exactly why we do what we do. We want to help you, whether it's with your money or your time or your career or anything. We just want to help you guys. We want to give you the inspiration to help you believe you can do it and change your life because you can. And we want to give you the instruction, the step-by-step plan that will show you how to do it. That's what we are about here at Ramsey Solutions
Starting point is 00:12:09 as Ramsey personalities, regardless of our message, regardless of the topic. That's what we want to help you do. We want you to have the information and the inspiration to help you change your life because by the way, you can. We're taking your calls for a little bit longer, 888-825-5225. If you want to call in for Rachel or myself, we are here for you. All right, we're going to go to Rebecca in LA. Hey,
Starting point is 00:12:33 Rebecca, how are you? Hi, I am good. Thank you. Sure. What's going on? So I'm struggling with a career choice I had made and now I'm not sure what to do next. I felt led to leadership. I work in healthcare. I'm a nurse. And I talked a lot about this with my boss, my husband before I did it. And so when the opportunity came, I took a nursing leadership position in my organization. And it's been so hard through the pandemic. And now I don't know if what I'm experiencing is healthy striving and growing pains with this new position, or if I am overworked and just stressed out and can't handle if this is not the right fit for me. So that's my first question. And then also, I already know I can't stay where I'm at, but I don't know if I should
Starting point is 00:13:26 find leadership in a new way or if I should go back to, you know, bedside caregiving. Yeah. Well, in relation to the first part of your question, that is hard to discern that. It's hard to discern. Do I not like it because it's different and not for me? Or do I not like it because this is the season in health care? We're in a pandemic and I'm nursing leadership like, oh, Rebecca. Right.
Starting point is 00:13:54 It is so hard. I don't know how much of that you can tease out. And the other piece of it is there are things that are specific to the pandemic. But I would say that there in any industry, but especially health care, there are things that are specific to the pandemic, but I would say that there in any industry, but especially healthcare, there are things that are specific to the pandemic, but that won't go back to normal. There are things that have become new rhythms that will be forever changed because of the pandemic. So I think that is really hard to tease out. The first question that came to mind as we dig into this with you is, do you miss regular nursing? Do you miss bedside? Do you miss being with patients?
Starting point is 00:14:28 As you think about this, as you think about leadership versus bedside care, do you miss the regular nursing aspect of your job? Yeah, I do. I think that'll always be my first love, no matter what I decide. Yeah. Let's go back to when you decided to take this leadership role. And there's no wrong answer here. I think that will always be my first love no matter what I decide. Let's go back to when you decided to take this leadership role.
Starting point is 00:14:49 There's no wrong answer here. I just want to get to the root of it. Some people take leadership positions because it feels like the next logical step, because they feel like they're supposed to, because they feel like they're supposed to want it, because there's more pay possibly involved. When you think about why you took that, what was the real motivator for taking that new role? Yeah, yeah, it definitely didn't have anything to do with pay. Leadership suited me
Starting point is 00:15:12 a lot in my young, you know, young adulthood and everything. And it found me here as well. And something that my boss and I started talking about, you know, years before it came up as an opportunity. And even me and my husband talked about it quite a bit. I just, I love people. I love, I love precepting. So I, you know, I love teaching and I love, you know, helping other people learn and to be the best nurse that they can be. And at the same time, around the same time when I had decided to do this, there was a, one of our pastors began talking about leadership as servanthood. And I thought, that's what I want to do. I want to, you know, so anyways, you know, it felt like the right thing
Starting point is 00:16:05 to do for a lot of different reasons. The things that you just described, do you get to do that in your current role? So that's, I think that's what I'm struggling with is a lot of what I do right now is very task oriented. And I know they're important, but I feel like I'm not doing the things that I thought I would be doing in leadership. And I don't know if it's just me, like I said, peeping out what, you know, expectations versus reality, or if this is just not a good fit for me. And you said already that you don't want to stay where you are. Like you're already committed to looking for something somewhere else, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think, you know, I think that this last experience, pandemic aside, this last experience has taught you a lot about yourself, of what you love. I love how you were able to articulate to Rachel and I, I love people.
Starting point is 00:16:58 I love teaching. These are the things that make me light up and come alive. This is what I'm good at. This is what I get excited about. So when you move, because it sounds like you've already decided to move companies, move hospitals or wherever you're going to practice this, I think you begin to really look for those specific things because you know that now. You know that every leadership title does not involve what you thought it did and you can begin to look for that. Yeah. And sometimes, Rebecca, not always, and this may not be the case for you, but we do find when you are really good at a skill, right? So a nurse for you,
Starting point is 00:17:30 or someone is a writer, a really great writer, or you can fill it in. And when you're really good at it, obviously other people notice that and they think, oh, you're really good. You should automatically go into leadership. And again, sometimes that is the right move. And the things you described, I think there are leadership positions. I would hope that you can do those things and still be a leader because all that. But sometimes as well, it kind of goes like, no, but I just, I love to be a nurse or I just love to write. I want to go back to writing. I don't want to go back to managing people over a writing department at a company or something, you know? So I think that asking yourself those questions too, which I think you were at the beginning of the call,
Starting point is 00:18:08 but just to kind of figure out, okay, would I rather just go back to what I love, being a nurse and doing that job just really well, or is there a leadership position where you still get that fulfillment of your skill that you're really good at with, in addition to helping people learn, taking other people to the next level and all of that.
Starting point is 00:18:29 Yeah, I think when you begin this search, Rebecca, because it sounds like you're already on it, maybe just add to your tool belt some questions when you're interviewing and say, what does the typical day look like for this position? Yeah. What are the typical day-to-day activities? And really get to not just the job posting, what they say it is, but what really goes on, what's the day-to-day activities and really get to not just the job posting, what they say it is, but what really goes on.
Starting point is 00:18:47 What's the day-to-day operations, the day-to-day activities. And then you'll get a, hopefully a more accurate picture of if that's in line with what you love and if it's not, and that's just going to help you sift through this next move
Starting point is 00:18:58 that you're committed to make, even if it takes a little bit more time to find the right thing. But I think you can do it. I think you will. Thanks for calling, Rebecca. This is The Ramsey Show. In today's world, technology and innovation are crucial for any company's success,
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Starting point is 00:20:02 Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282 zander will guide you through the whole thing keep it simple and find you the best rates that's zander.com or 800-356-4282 christy right joining me today is my good friend rachel cruz and we are taking your calls about anything and everything 888-825-5225. And we're going to go to Rebecca in Honolulu, Hawaii. Rebecca, how's the weather in Hawaii? Oh, it's beautiful, Rachel and Christy. Thanks for taking my call. Need to come visit you there. What's going on?
Starting point is 00:20:57 How can we help? Sure. I have a question about the zero credit score. So my husband and I are in Davis steps four, five, and six. We are both dual active duty military. I am looking to retire in one year, and he's about two and a half years. He'll retire as well, and we're going to look to buy a house at that time. So with our credit, we did have a home in Virginia before coming to Honolulu and we sold that recently. And so our credit score was always good because of the mortgage, right? But with that
Starting point is 00:21:33 off, it's obviously dropping, but I have one credit card left open on my account. Our bank requires a line of credit to do mobile deposits. And so I have that open so that I can do that. It hasn't been used in years. But if we're looking to buy a home in two, probably two and a half, three years, we either need to have a credit score that will get us a loan or have a zero credit score so that we can get manually underwritten. And I'm not sure how long it takes to get to that zero. So, I mean, at this point, I believe we could cancel that credit card.
Starting point is 00:22:09 We're in a strong enough financial situation that the mobile depositing, while it's convenient, isn't a necessity. Yeah. But I'm not sure how long that process takes. I don't want to put us in a situation where we go to buy a home and our scores only fall into like 400. Yeah. No, no, no. It's a great question. And then we're stuck. No, for sure. Well, it will never go to, a home and our scores only fall into like 400. Yeah. No, no, no. It's a great question. And then we're stuck.
Starting point is 00:22:26 No, for sure. Well, it will never go to, and it's not really, it doesn't even really go to zero. It goes to what's called undetermined is what it is. So it will go to undetermined when you have all accounts closed and all debt is paid, everything for six. I mean, again, six to 12 months is kind of the estimate. But with FICO, we don't know their algorithm specifically, but that's kind of on average of what we're seeing is six to 12 months. But you keeping that credit card open, that is an open account, so it will never
Starting point is 00:22:56 fall to undetermined. So you have to get rid of that. So whether it's switching banks, or like you said, you can take on that for the the mobile deposit all of it whatever it is you got to get rid of that and so after that is closed then it should take another six to twelve months to fall to undetermined okay so that was my concern is the amount of time i've got closed and then we're we're ready to buy and it took years for you know right right and again that that's on average, but I'll say with the asterisk that again, FICO, we don't, we don't have their specific formula, their specific algorithm and everything on when that starts to fall and when that actually does become undetermined.
Starting point is 00:23:34 But on average, that is what we're saying. But it's a great question because every people listening who are getting out of debt, that's one reason we do say you don't need to buy a house when you have debts. And part of that is because as you're paying off your debt, what you've experienced is that your credit score starts to go down
Starting point is 00:23:51 because everything mathematically that creates your credit scores, everything from the new type of debt you have, the types of debts to there's about seven categories there that calculate your credit score. And when you don't interact with debt, it starts to go down. So that's a, it's a great question and one that we get a lot, but I would close that
Starting point is 00:24:13 credit card account, get it to undetermined, and you guys can manually underwrite that mortgage in two to three years. Yeah. And it sounds like with the timeframe that you're on, you're talking about this even for next year being the soonest, sounds like that will still work for you. And great job on being debt-free. Well done. Thanks for your service. All right. Sheena's in Charlotte,
Starting point is 00:24:30 North Carolina. Hey, Sheena, how are you? Hey, ladies. I'm doing great. How are you? Great. What's going on? Sheena, we've talked before, haven't we? Yes, we have. You were on my show, the Rachel Cruz show. You were a guest on one of the Ask Rachel episodes.
Starting point is 00:24:45 So I'm so glad to talk to you again. Oh, I'm excited. What's going on? I'm so excited to talk to you too. Well, as you know, I drive a lot for work and I typically stop at, you know, gas stations along the interstate. And because of COVID and everything, I've been trying not to use cash and go in physically to the gas station. So instead, I've been, you know, use my Visa debit card out at the pump. But it's been scanned now probably three or four times in the last year.
Starting point is 00:25:14 So I'm, you know, facing charges that I didn't do and things like that. And so it's, you know, the companies have been great and they say, well, okay, yes, they came out of your cash, but we've closed that and we'll refund you. But I'm just, my biggest question is what's the safest way to buy cash during these COVID times? You know, I used to use the cash and go into the store, but again, with the Delta variant and everything, I'm trying to limit my exposure, I guess, being six months pregnant. So just trying to figure out what's the safest way to buy gas. Yeah. Well, I would say, I mean, my answer is still a debit card.
Starting point is 00:25:51 That's the only way I've bought gas for probably 10 years. I probably have not walked into a gas station with an actual envelope of cash. Even when we do the envelope system, we tell people, hey, there may be categories that you don't cash out for convenience purposes like gas, right? When you're at the pump, you can just do your debit card. So I'm so interested that it got that. I mean, it does. I mean, there are tracker, you know, there is fraud and gas stations is a place that gets hit a lot.
Starting point is 00:26:16 But I'm surprised it's been so often. Are you using the same company, like the same gas brands? Yeah. So that's the thing is that I've switched it up because thinking same thing. Okay, well, if that gas station's been compromised, well, then I'll try a different one. Yeah. And so I even wrote down, you know, with my husband who actually does fraud for a living as a detective. And we kind of went through and said, okay, well, it can't be the Costco's because we always stop there.
Starting point is 00:26:42 And that's kind of new within the last little bit. So it's got to be, you know, this one or this. And that's kind of new within the last little bit. So it's got to be, you know, this one or this one. But these ones are new within the last two months. So we're just trying to kind of figure out, okay, where not to stop. But again, I have to stop. So yeah, what the safest way to do this is going to be cash only. The same thing that is, but the same program that when they do fraud would take a credit card as well. Now, so even if you're doing a credit card, I mean, it's the same thing now.
Starting point is 00:27:10 When you have a debit card, you still have the same protection. So the fees and stuff should not, you shouldn't have to be paying those. That should be protected by whatever companies there on your debit card, whether it's Visa or MasterCard. Yes. So the only fees that they've been charging me is to expedite the new card in the mail. Oh, okay. I hear you. I hear you.
Starting point is 00:27:30 And it's just a headache, Sheena. It's just inconvenient. This is annoying, you know, that keeps happening. I'm so sorry. That's so weird. Is it all in, when you say you drive a lot, is it all in Charlotte or do you drive out of town? I drive out of town a lot, you know, all over North and South Carolina. And it happens anywhere you go.
Starting point is 00:27:48 It's not like just a particular city. Right. Wow. Right. Commonly between Charlotte and Charleston, South Carolina, is what I've been noticing. Hmm. I hate to say it. I don't really know what to tell you.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Yeah. I've been doing debit card at a gas pump for 10 years, and one time it happens. It's happened to me one time too, Sheena. I think it's super odd. Part of it, I'm sure, is just the frequency with which you are traveling and getting gas, so naturally you're going to fill up more than someone else does, so the chances of it happening are greater. If you want to wear a mask or a couple masks and go inside, if that would give you peace of mind to not worry about it getting skimmed, you can do that. But I don't think there are any variables at play that are in your control.
Starting point is 00:28:33 You know what I'm saying? You can't look at the pump and know if it's going to happen, and you can't control the creeps that are out there doing it, and you've got to get gas. And so all you can do is control what you can, which is either put on a mask and go inside and pay cash or just deal with the crap when it happens, which I hate that's happening so frequently to you because you've got to be on the phone and press one, press five, press zero, wait for a representative. Oh, it happened again. It is annoying.
Starting point is 00:29:01 It's annoying. It takes so much time. It's so frustrating. So I'm so sorry that happened. Yeah, I don't think there's anything outside of what you're doing that you could do more of. But, you know, hopefully they get on top of it and it's something that just stops because they catch the people and it stops happening. So sorry that's happening. It's one of those things.
Starting point is 00:29:20 It's like there's just stuff in life that we can plan and plan and plan and crap just happens. I know. You know what I mean? there's still going to be something you're going to get a flat tire someone's going to skim your debit card you know something's going to go wrong so inconvenience of it all hate that hate that for you sheena but um hopefully it'll stop happening soon and you can just get on the road and not have to worry about it that's right this is the Ramsey Show. Philippians 4.13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Zig Ziglar said, fear has two meanings.
Starting point is 00:30:32 Forget everything and run or face everything and rise. The choice is yours. I love that there's such a theme in our call today, just injecting hope in people that feel hopeless. And I love those reminders from the scripture, Philippians 4.13, and the quote from Zig Ziglar. Well, the last 18 months have been a lot. You know it. I know it. A lot of worry, a lot of wondering what would happen next.
Starting point is 00:30:59 Maybe that's how you feel about your money too. Tired, stuck, stretched thin. But it doesn't have to be that way. You just need a plan. We've been talking about this all day today. Because a plan gives you confidence even when everything else seems out of control. And that plan is Financial Peace University. This class will teach you everything you need to know to save money, pay off debt, and build wealth for the future. You can stream the lessons on your own or get support by going through the class with others. Then you'll put that plan into practice with the premium version of our EveryDollar budgeting app. By syncing your bank to your budget, you can easily track
Starting point is 00:31:42 your spending and see where your money goes. You get all this only with a Ramsey Plus membership. You don't have to stay exhausted and overwhelmed. You can win with money. To start your free trial of Ramsey Plus, text TRIAL to 33789. That's TRIAL to 33789. Rachel Cruz and I are taking your calls, 888-825-5225. And we're going to go to Kansas City with Lacey. Hey, Lacey, how are you? Fantastic. Thanks so much. I'm so glad it's you two ladies today.
Starting point is 00:32:19 Perfect for my question. I love it. Let's have it. Okay, so I am a mom of three small children. I have been in and out of college changing my mind for what seems, well, almost 10 years now. I think I finally settled on what I want to do, like a dream, but you know, I don't know if it's to quote you right, right now. Um, you know, I want to be home with my kids and anything I can do with this sort of starting my own business would keep me away from them a lot. And I, you know, I'm, the degrees I'm chasing aren't extremely
Starting point is 00:33:06 relevant to what I want to do in schools that have the degree I want or in other states. And I just, I'm tired of working, you know, like waitressing jobs when I need, you know, to support my family. I need to, you know, grow the family tree, change the legacy, etc. Yeah, yeah. Well, I've got a few follow-up questions as Rachel and I dig into this. Are you married? Yes. Okay. And what's your household income? Around $40,000.
Starting point is 00:33:41 Okay. So when you said you finally settled on your dream job, I think is the way that you said it or your dream path. What is that? Anthology. You know, I want to study animal behavior, maybe be, you know, a more tame version would be like a pet psychologist. And the more wild version would be, you know, the people that are on National Geographic and follow the cheetahs around. And why did they do that kind of deal? Yeah. Yeah. Well, one of the things, Lacey, I'll just I'll start with this.
Starting point is 00:34:14 And I think that this has relevance to what you're saying. One of the things that I think feels very overwhelming to people, not just women, but specifically in your shoes of being a mom of three littles, is when we try to do everything at once. And in the same breath, you said, I have my dream to, you know, chase tigers on National Geographic. Also, I want to be with my kids pretty much 24-7. So I'm like, two of these things don't go together. So I mean, chasing kids is kind of like chasing tigers in the wild. But I think we might need to choose the seasonality of your dreams. And it's not that you can't, you know, just I mean, literally to quote my book, just because something's not right right now doesn't mean it's never right. Doesn't mean you can never do that. But I think it does come
Starting point is 00:34:59 down to prioritizing what's right right now. What is what is a one right now? Because you're going to feel the most sense of peace when you do what's right right now. is what is a one right now because you're going to feel the most sense of peace when you do what's right right now and if that's being there for your kids and and being super involved in their lives being there for field trips being there for that kind of stuff and and to your point either taking a part-time from home job that's pretty flexible or starting your business from home where you get to set your hours to make that number one priority of being there for your kids possible. Or if it looks a different way, I think that you're going to feel the most contentment and purpose and peace
Starting point is 00:35:31 when you do the thing that's most important and then maybe pursue that in another season. Now, if you want to pursue that now because you're saying this is most important to me, you can do that. I'm not saying what's right or wrong. I just want to echo what you said to me about the kids because that plays into the timing of some of these career decisions. How old are your kids, Lacey? Five, two, and seven months. You're in the trenches with us too. We're all tired. Let's just talk about it. You are in the trenches. I feel you. You have no idea. You have no idea.
Starting point is 00:36:07 Yeah. So, I mean, I, yeah, I think it, I think what Christy said though is spot on. It's a question that you can only ask yourself or answer yourself is what, what do you want to do? Do you want to be home with the kids more and more? And that's an okay answer. You know, I mean, 40 grand, it's like, yeah, maybe you can find something on the side a little bit to bring in some extra cash if you guys want to, depending on where you are in the baby steps
Starting point is 00:36:28 and your needs and your wants, all of it. Or, yeah, is there a thing out there that you're like, no, it's going to take time to get, whether it's the education or to get qualified, and then actually doing the job, that's going to be time away from the kids. That's just, we can only be in one place at once, right? So that's going to have to be an answer that you come up with for yourself.
Starting point is 00:36:53 I wonder if there's a piece of it too. I love helping people come up with almost like an interim solution. See, sometimes when we think of our dream, we think of this big, like, you know, the Cadillac version of our idea. I'm like, is there a baby version of our idea? Like a starter version of our dream we think of this big like you know the cadillac version of our idea i'm like is there a is there a baby version of our idea like a starter version of our idea where sure you're not chasing tigers on national geographic but maybe you start a side gig uh pet sitting or dog walking or just something to engage your love of animals which i know i i i understand walking a dog is not the same as chasing a tiger i get get that. But I'm just saying it could create income. You could set your hours and it could engage that part of you that loves animals in a creative way.
Starting point is 00:37:31 That's one way to do it. There's multiple ways for you to do it. I just want to challenge you to think of what could that look like in this season? How could you engage your love of animals, of the wild, of nature, whatever, in this season in a way that brings in extra income for your family, if that's what you want to do, and still allows you to be present in this season. So I think, just like Rachel said, I think it's a question only you can answer. But if you'll stay on the line, I will have Jenna send you a live stream ticket to our
Starting point is 00:38:04 Business Boutique event. You can join us next week. It's October 14th through the 16th. It's here in Nashville, but we're live streaming the whole thing. And what you can do is you can tune in and watch those sessions. It may help you think of a business idea. It may just encourage you in this season of helping you discern what's right for you. And you can watch that, and hopefully that will help maybe bring some clarity to that.
Starting point is 00:38:24 But it really is a question only you can answer. And Rachel, one of the things that's interesting about some of the calls that we get, some of the calls we get on the show are black and white. Yes, you should do this. No, you should not do that. That is a bad idea. This is a good idea and so on. Some of them, like a couple we've had today, are more values calls. They're more, what do you want to do? What's right for you? And no one can tell you. And I think we really get ourselves in trouble when maybe we listen to someone else's advice.
Starting point is 00:38:55 Someone said, hey, you have to go back to school or you have to pursue this degree or you have to live your life this way. And it's not right for us. And so even well-meaning people can maybe steer you in the wrong direction. And so that's why we want to turn it back on you. Yeah. And Lacey, I would with your husband as well. You guys talk about it. And cause there's also, I think a benefit, especially with a spouse, cause they know you better than anyone. He can call out the things that he sees in you. Hey, I do see you light up in X, Y, and Z, or, Hey, I feel like you, I feel the stress, the tension more and more when, when X, Y, and Z. Or, hey, I feel the stress, the tension more and more when X, Y, and Z happens.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Have him be a sounding board as well in this process. And he can really help you navigate. I think spouses, there's a gift in that as well. To come up with the best decision. Yes. Christine, your whole family. So fun. It's so fun with you today.
Starting point is 00:39:39 Love it. Love it. Oh, my gosh. Her little kids are out there. You can't see them because we're on a podcast. They're running around. Ready for mom of the weekend. It's awesome. It's my gosh. Her little kids are out there. You can't see them because we're on a podcast. They're running around. Fighting for mom of the weekend. It's awesome.
Starting point is 00:39:47 It's Fun Friday. All right. We want to thank producer James Child, associate producer Jenna Coletta, my co-host Rachel Cruz, and you, America, for tuning in. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt-free scream live on the show, make sure you visit theramseyshow.com and register.
Starting point is 00:40:14 We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.

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