The Ramsey Show - App - Does Private School Education Increase Scholarship Options? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: December 7, 2018

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Dave Ramsey Show. Where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us, America. We're glad you're here. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Well, it's that time of year again.

Here in a couple of weeks, on the 21st, we do our Giving Show, our annual show about giving. We commit all three hours of the show to stories of generosity, where you have been generous or someone's been generous to you, and they make great stories and inspire the rest of us to be generous and live open-handedly. And certainly we want to remember to do that this time of year. Merry Christmas to you. So if you have a great generosity story where you are on the receiving or the giving end, and you can make us laugh or make us cry and make us be inspired to do more of that,

why don't you go ahead and email Kelly now and tell her, and we'll get you lined up to be on the show. We don't tell people what to say, but we try to get that show organized and make sure we have enough stories and enough callers lined up on this particular subject ahead of time. So just email me at Dave on air at Dave Ramsey dot com. Dave on air at Dave Ramsey dot com. Put giving in the subject line. The show will be on December the 21st.

Mark your calendars. Robin is with us in Chattanooga to start off this hour. Hey, Robin. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? Okay, we're on Baby Step 3 and we think we'll have our three-month emergency fund by the end

of 2019. And we're wondering what to do after that. We own a piece of property that we currently live on in a really cheap mobile home, but we want to build the house. And we need to know if we need to pay off the land first before we save up the down payment for the house, for building the house. No, not necessarily.

What you'll have to do is get a drawing done and a builder approved to build the house, and then you'll be talking to the bank about a construction loan, and the construction loan generally will take a lien on your land and also pay off your land. So it'll all be wrapped into one. And so it helps to have equity in the land to make the deal work, but if you don't have any equity in the land, that makes it hard. But if you get a construction loan that encompasses paying off the land, because it becomes your permanent mortgage later, see,

which is all the construction costs and the land costs combined as your permanent loan later, and that's what you want to do. Why is it going to take you a year to save three months of expenses? We just have a really small income right now. My husband is self-employed, and the income is going up, but it's slow since his business is fairly new. And I stay at home with the kids. Yeah, what's your household income?

This year it's about $36,000. Still shouldn't take you a year to save three months of expenses. That's a lot. Well, we still have the payment on the land, and we have three kids. Life is expensive. Yeah, I've done budgets for 30 years. I understand. Okay.

But I'm telling you, when your expenses are low, your income is low, and three months of expenses in a savings account should not take a year. You need to look at your budget and tighten that up, and you need to be doing a written budget. And he needs to be doing some things to get his income up until his business gets rolling, like side jobs or something, until he gets his income moving with three kids. Y'all are starving to death, like you said. And so he's got to do some other things to add some income to this equation because the numbers you're giving me don't work. Hey, thanks for the call.

We appreciate you joining us. Asia's with us in Greensboro. Hi, Asia. How are you? Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up?

Hey, I recently seen that the laws have changed for the 529 plans that you can now use that money for like primary school education. I have a son. I'm a single parent. I have a son. And I get money, you know, for holidays and things of that nature. I just wanted to know your thoughts about putting that money in a 529 and using it to fund his early education years

in hopes that his education will be better than the public school system and he'll get scholarships and things like that on the back end. Okay. There's very little correlation between that, between going to a private school in your primary years and being successful in college. You really can't find any correlation to that. If you've got a horrible public school, there's a lot of reasons to not be in the public school if that's the case. When our kids were little, we were in a zone where we didn't want them in that school.

And we ended up moving to a different zone, and our kids went all the way through public schools. And they did just fine. So, no, I would not. As a single mom, you're trying to eat, you're trying to feed your kid. Paying for college is your primary goal before you worry about going to private schools. But if you will simply be a great mom and be very involved in this child's academics and being very involved, the parent has as much to do with it as the school. Where schools have very high scores and get credit for being wonderful schools, what they have is very high parental involvement almost every time.

There are very few schools where the parents are uninvolved and the students are highly successful. It just hardly ever happens. And so teachers yearn for, educators yearn for moms and dads to be partners with them to make sure the kids get an education. And so in a decent or a good public school, dads to be partners with them to make sure the kids get an education. And so in a decent or a good public school, you can have that experience just like you can in a private school. But now, as a matter of an investment and doing that before you did other types of investing,

for instance, being out of debt, having your emergency fund, having your retirement going, having the kid's college fund going, if you had extra money above all of those things and you wanted to just run private school through 529 just because you wanted to have them in private school for one reason or another, that's fine. But no, we're not going to put that way out in front of everything with the idea that that's how the kid's going to end up going to college because he went to private school.

There's not any data points that will help you to believe that. Thanks for the call. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Peter is on Twitter. He says, Dave, do you think I ought to have concealed carry insurance, or do you consider it a gimmick? I consider some of it a gimmick. You need to read the policies careful if you're a person that carries a firearm and decide

if you want to insure through that. I'm not against concealed carry insurance. I do not personally carry it, and I carry a firearm at all times. I'm almost always armed. But I've done a lot of training, and that's better insurance than an insurance policy, is learning how to never put yourself in a position that you actually have to have a firearm or need a firearm. And so that's more important than just worrying about an insurance for being a cowboy or some kind here. So, no, it's an okay thing to look at i have not personally done enough

research on it to where i bought it on me so i can't tell you to do it but i don't i don't think it's a gimmick i think there's probably some situations where it's a good idea to have it if you're going to carry a firearm have occurred in the past 12 months, almost every American has had their personal info compromised or hacked. Over 50% of our listeners and viewers tell us that they or someone in their family has been a victim. And 70% of those folks have had it happen more than once. See, this is unbelievable.

Once thieves get your info, the risk never goes away and they can use it whenever and however they choose. It truly has become an issue of not if, but when. That's why the only plan I've ever recommended is through Zander Insurance. I actually sat down with them, and we put together a plan that I felt provided the best protection, but didn't waste dollars on things you could easily do yourself or were just gimmicks. The key is getting protected before you're a victim, and it's too late. Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282.

We are all at risk, and it doesn't make sense to wait. Numbers don't lie. That's Zander.com or 800-356-4282. Merry Christmas, America. We're glad you're with us. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. We're here to help you. It's what we do.

We're hiring a bunch of folks. And I had about 200 in the next 12 months, give or take. That many jobs on the board right now. And if you're interested in any of the positions, just click the Dave's Hiring tab, and you can find out all the different things we're hiring for. Right there on the front page of DaveRamsey.com, we're looking for a marketer to join our media team, an associate creative director, a managing book editor. We've got all kinds of content folks on our team.

We've got all kinds of technology folks on our team. Just met a young man at the break that's in here doing an interview for a product manager role and a project manager role. So if you're interested in that, you're Ruby on Rails, you're in sales, we've got positions here. So check it out. We are actually doing work that matters. We're actually helping people.

And the phone number, or rather the email, neither one of those, the website's at DaveRamsey.com. Click on Dave's hiring on the right-hand tab, and it'll give you a full rundown of everything that we're doing and what we need, and see if any of that matches up with you if you want to come join us here in the Nashville area. All right, Eileen is with us in Santa Ana, California. Hi, Eileen. How are you? Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure.

What's up? I am 59 1⁄2, and I just received a layoff notice February 1st. I'll be laid off after 29 years. Ooh, that's wonderful. And I just was wondering, I have a 401k of about $265,000, if it would make sense to pay off my condo, which is $70,000 left. You said you're old? Fifty-nine and a half. Okay, so you're old enough to do it without a penalty, but it would take half of your money. Seventy thousand. I have $265,000.

Well, it would take almost half your money, because you'd have to pay taxes on the $72,000, so it's about $100,000. I have $265,000. Well, it would take almost half your money because you'd have to pay taxes on the $72,000, so it's about $100,000. Okay. What did you make? What do you make? $51,000. Okay. So why don't you get another job? Well, I plan on it. I was just wondering if it would make sense to do it since I'm 59 1⁄2. And you just never know what's out there. I haven't looked for a job in 29 years.

So you might actually get paid more. Right. You might be underpaid. I didn't even know it. This could be a huge blessing. I believe it is. You're going to lay me off. Great great so how much is the severance it is uh six months okay that's good news so if you could go ahead and get a job lined up to start as soon as you're done uh you'd have like a six month signing bonus right right now and um so you'd have like $25,000 there. I think I want to get this job thing settled before I start cashing out retirement.

Okay. I think this question came up because of the uncertainty, the fear associated with losing the job. Right, I was just wanting to weigh out my options. You can always do it. Anytime. I mean, you're just going to pay your taxes on whatever you pull out, right? And you can pay off a condo in February. You can pay it off the next February.

There's nothing forcing you to do it. So you're not going to get in a pinch. You can just pay it off. But I think I would rather you make the decision to do that from a position of strength. I probably would pay it off, but I'd like for you to get a job before you did. Okay. You can go ahead and pay the taxes. Yeah, you'll pay a little tax on it. You'll probably pay $25,000 or $30,000, something like that. Hey, good call, and you've gotten yourself in a good condition. Congratulations.

Or you don't have to worry about something like this. But, yeah, don't use up the six months. Let's go ahead and land something immediately. Holly's with us in Fresno. Hey, Holly, how are you? Hi, Dave. I'm fine. Thank you.

Yourself? Better than I deserve. What's up? I knew you were going to say that. I'm calling to give you an idea of my situation. Counting SSI benefits, which is the foremost social insecurity, as you call it, and my work, I make about $22,000 to $23,000 a year. I am totally blind, so I'm just stating that because it affects my equation. And I just started following your plan.

Last month, I did my first zero-based budget ever. Wow, good for you. Thank you. And so I'm working on, okay, what ways do I need to learn how to say no to myself, things like that, learning to say no to Starbucks, you know. But my question is, there's a certain amount due to my situation receiving SSI that I have to contribute to the household. I'm single, but I'm living with my folks. And I have to contribute a certain amount to household expenses, or they adjust the benefits, which of course affects my income. And so there isn't a whole lot left over at the month, only maybe a couple hundred

bucks, give or take, to save and i'm trying to get this thousand dollars up and when my question is um in my situation where i have good support um would it be all right to do the 500 instead of the thousand yes we recommend 500 when you're in a situation like yours where you're in a low income, $20,000 and less, and you're right around that mark. And you've got all these other circumstances that are part of the equation, as you said. So, yeah, I definitely would. I would use $500 as my baby step one. And then later on, I do want to get you to three to six months of your expenses.

But your expenses aren't really, really high because of your living situation. So your three to six months is not going to be a huge emergency fund. And so it's going to be attainable, too, is my point. When you start reaching for baby step three at that point in the process for you. So you can do this. You can do this. I'm proud of you.

You call me anytime I can help. Thanks for calling. Open phones at 888-825-5225. You jump in and we'll help. Cade is with us in Baton Rouge. Hi, Cade. How are you? I'm well.

How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Hi. Yes. I'm 24 years old. I just graduated. My income is like $32,000.

I'm like $30,000 in debt, student loans, and collections. You said you have $30,000 in student loans and collections or in collections? Yeah, both. Okay. All together. Okay. And I'm just trying to get everything started all my bills are like a thousand dollars a month for everything and i'm just trying to figure out how can i get the ball rolling okay well the first thing we

have to do is have a game plan for every dollar every month that That's called the budget. And just jump on EveryDollar, the website, and download the app. It's completely free for your phone and for your desktop, whichever way you want to do it. You can do it for your computer or for your phone. And it takes about 10 minutes to lay your budget out. But basically, the way this works, Kate, is you're going to put what your income is, your take-home pay is at the top of the page. Every single month, a new budget.

And every one of those dollars, once you put that number in there, every one of those dollars has to have an assignment, a mission, a name every month. And so the first thing you're going to buy is food. The second thing you're going to buy is lights and water. The third thing you're going to do is pay your rent. And you've kind of got all that totaled up. You think all that stuff is around $1,000. But I want you to break it down and track each item

so it's not just a lump sum, $1,000 is my expenses. And I want you every month to look at those expenses and dial down through them. Then once you've done that, any money you can squeeze out of your budget by working extra or by spending less or both. You start working, start walking through the process of building wealth that we call the baby steps. And baby step one is you save $1,000.

Baby step two is you start paying off your debts, smallest to largest, paying minimum payments. I think if I'm in your shoes, I'm 24 years old, making 32 grand with $30,000 in debt, I'm going to be looking to pick up some extra work, get some extra wood on this fire, get some extra income coming in to attack this with. And that's what I would be doing if I were in your shoes. And then that'll help you run this $30,000 through a lot faster. You probably could pay that $30,000 off in between a year and two years, but you're going to be working extra to do that. Thanks for the call, sir. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Are high health care costs getting you down? Are you confused trying to navigate your options?

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Christian Healthcare Ministries is a proud sponsor of Dave Ramsey Live Events Mickey and Shell are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? How are you doing, Dave? Good. Welcome, welcome. Where do you guys live? Houston, Texas.

All right. I love it. Welcome to Nashville. And all the way here to do your debt-free scream. Yes, sir. Love it. How much you paid off? $66,000 in 19 months.

Way to go. And your range of income during that time? Started off at about $74,000, ended at about $120,000. Cool. What do you all do for a living? I'm a cable splicer for the telephone company. I'm a stay-at-home mom. All right.

Very cool. So how did you go from $74,000 to $120,000 in 19 months? Working a lot of overtime. A lot of OT. Yes, sir. Okay. Hard work. It solves a lot of stuff.

What kind of debt was the $66,000? Two car loans, two 401k loans, one credit card, a personal loan, and one small student loan. Cool. Did you sell anything big? No, sir. Just paid it all off? Yes, sir. I tried to sell my truck, but she wouldn't let me.

Well, it was better to keep it at this time. Okay. Very cool. So tell me your story. What happened 19 months ago that got you started on this? So October 31st, 2016, I was sitting in the house, the rental house that we had, and this guy tired of paying rent, so I looked at her and said, hey, I want to buy a house.

And so I started looking online, applied for a mortgage, was approved instantly, and couldn't find anything that suited my needs or our needs. And so I went about my business for that day, and then the next day my parents had built a house. So I called them up and said, hey, you know, I'm thinking about building a house. You know, if y'all could do it over again, what would you do? What would you not do? So after about 15 minutes of conversation with my mom, I spoke to my dad,

and he's like, well, why don't you just pay off all your debt before you buy a house? And I said, I don't have about 10 years to buy a house. And he says, well, it doesn't have to take 10 years. And I'm like, well, what are you talking about? And he says, well, have you heard of this guy named Dave Ramsey? And I said, no. He says, well, why don't you go listen to his show and call me back in about an hour? And I said, okay, yeah.

And I just kind of played it off. Well, I didn't listen to the show that day, but the very next morning on the way to work, I put you on. And I started resonating with everything that you had to say. Got home that day. I told her, hey, I would really like to pay off our debt. Why don't we list out what we have and see where we are? So I did. And the spark really didn't lit for her just yet.

I had to kind of work her into it. And the way I did that was actually by calling your show. And you told me that she didn't need a new car because she wanted a new car at the time. And when she heard you tell her that, then that's kind of when the spark lit for her. How's that work? Wait a minute.

I said you don't need a new car, and that made you happy? I don't understand. Well, no, it made me happy. No, Shell, what's going on? How did that get you on board? Well, I thought about it. The smart choice was to, why would I be in debt for a car? Just to drive around to show people that I have a car, a new car.

What is it going to do? I have a car, a new car. What is it going to do? Like, I have a car that could be paid off. Okay, so me challenging you on it made you just rethink it. Yeah, you really challenged me that day, kind of lit a fire under me. Okay. And it's a good thing that it happened because at the time we weren't living in Houston. We were living in a small town south of San Antonio, and we were renting, and I'm glad I didn't buy a house because about eight

months later i got a transfer back to houston where we're originally from wow and that was in august of 2017 two weeks later hurricane harvey hit wow so yeah you're you're that's a good time to not be owning the house right so and and because of hurricane harvey i i made a lot of money i worked a lot of overtime worked 18 days 18 days straight, 12, 14 hours a day. Any way I could get it, I would get it. And that crashed the debt down. Yes, sir. It actually bumped us up.

We were scheduled to be out of debt by November 2018. But instead, it was June. Wow. Very cool. Good for you guys. Yeah. Well done. So what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is?

I would have to say hard work and discipline. And consistency. Just keep hammering it. Yeah. Okay. Good. Very cool. Who were your biggest cheerleaders outside the two of you?

I have to say my mom and dad. Really and truly, we didn't tell anybody about it because I made the mistake in the beginning telling some people about it and got a lot of negativity, and I just didn't want that. So I just kind of kept it to ourselves. you know now it's like kind of like uh look at me now moment so yeah now i can show everybody and they can't tell me that it's a fraud because it's not there you go very cool well you did it you did it i'm proud of you very very well done how's it feel to have no payments um awesome it was great you can do whatever you want how long y'all been married? Three years.

And now you're completely debt-free. That's right. Very cool. Well done. And you brought the kiddos with you to do your debt-free scream? Yes, sir. We did. Cool.

And what are their names and ages? We've got McKenzie, who's eight, Maddox is two, and Mason is nine months. All right. Very cool. Very cool. We've got a copy of Chris Hogan's retire-inspired book for you. We're also going to send you a copy of his Everyday Millionaire book in January when it comes out, because I think that's your next chapter in your story, to be everyday millionaires.

That is your next thing. So have they been practicing their debt-free scream? Yes, sir. All right. Very cool. All right. Mickey and Shell and McKenzie and Maddox and Mason, Houston, Texas. $66,000 paid off in 19 months, making $74,000 to $120,000.

Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Ha, ha, ha! Love it! Woo! Well done.

Very, very well done. That's how it gets done around here. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com, the number one online retailer of custom window coverings. You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos that they run every month, you'll save even more. Use the promo code RAMSY and get the best possible deal.

Today's question comes from Ethan in Texas. He says, Dave, I'm starting to look at buying a vehicle to replace my current ride, which seems to have an impending death sentence. I only have about $2,000 saved up towards a vehicle at the moment. If I would be putting aside money each month that is roughly equal to a car payment, why not just buy the car with a loan? What's the benefit of this? I currently have no debt, and it just seems too convenient not to buy the car and have it right now. Well, that's, you know, that's what most people do, and most people are broke. If you stay out of car payments the rest of your life, it is one of the key elements, one of the key data points

that indicates towards building wealth. The average car payment in America today is $507 a month over 84 months. Were you to invest $507 from age 30 to age 70 instead of screwing around with car payments, you would have from age 30 to age 70, you'd have about $5.6 million. I hope you like the car. All the millionaires that we interview, 90-some-odd percent of them have not had a car payment in decades.

Decades. They said, we're never borrowing money again so if you want to be normal and mediocre and broke keep a car payment your whole life it pretty well mathematically ensures you're going to be normal and mediocre and broke it takes your money that's what it is and so you're you're thinking short term save up and pay cash for the car that way you'll own it you're not paying any interest and you're not stuck you don't get you don't get repossessed if you lose your job in the middle something happens you're not pinched you own the car or you don't buy the car ethan you can do whatever you want to do but debt always seems easy

until you have it and then you start figuring out it's hard oh it's not a big deal i mean if i could save 200 a month why can't i pay a 200 payment just get the car now that's what that's it but that's a very short-term thinking mentality and the shorter term you think on things, the shorter your vision window is, the less likely you are to build wealth. And this show is about having financial peace. Two words that don't go together. Like airline service.

Think about it. These are words that don't go together. And you can make a decision on how you're going to live and get where you want to get. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. Thanks for joining us, America. Amy is with us in Chattanooga. Hi, Amy. Merry Christmas. Hi, Merry Christmas. How are you?

Better than I deserve. What's up in your world? Not much. My husband and I are currently on baby step number two. Good. And I guess we probably feel a good bit of responsibility for our parents we both lost our fathers at a young age and um my mother um doesn't handle her finances very well um neither does my sister and a few more of our family members and of course when they turn to us and they are looking for money in times of need, they, you know, they come straight to us and ask for it. And it's hard to say no. We're

currently, you know, trying to focus on our own debt and get those things paid off. But we've, you know, been very open about our success with, you know, Dave Ramsey and saving up our, you know, emergency fund. and they know it's there. They know that we have that $1,000 in our savings. If something was to happen, they can always turn to us and ask for it. No is not working anymore. They just don't accept it. They say there's a lot of things going on,

and they use my nieces and nephews as an excuse um which breaks my heart um and of course i want to see those you know my kids my nephews having you know food on the table you know sometimes they say they don't have money for groceries and we make we have the least income out of all of everybody in our family okay and so so let's stop a second let's stop a second you're talking about mainly about your sister. Let's just start with her. Okay. Yeah. They make more money than you, and they don't have the money to feed their kids.

Yes. So that's just. Wait a minute. Stop. That's just asinine. Yes. It's just ridiculous. Yes.

And then has the unmitigated gall to ask you for money, and she makes more than you do. And worse than that, she's a travel agent for guilt trips absolutely little babies aren't gonna eat it's gonna be your fault no you're their mother stupid thank you for saying that right i mean really and so here's the thing here's the thing what's happening is this what the only thing that's going to help you is you're going to have to get, you're going to have to learn to love her better. You don't love her well. And you're just a wimp.

And what's happening is the reason you're a wimp is you think that's being nice. It's not being nice. You are buying crystal meth for a meth addict. You're buying her drugs that are going to kill her. You are participating in her misbehavior. You are not helping her. You are harming her. You are an enabler.

Does that make sense? Absolutely. When you give her money, when she doesn't handle money well and she makes more money than you, that's the same thing as giving a drunk a drink. Yeah, absolutely. And so the proper way to love her is not make her happy on the short term. It's to help her win long term. And how is that going to happen?

By you giving her money? No. The way she's going to win long term is she decides she's going to be a grown up and be responsible with the money she has. Right. That's when she's going to start winning. And so here's how it would sound at our house. Okay. Sis, I love those babies of yours.

And I love you. And I'll do anything in the world for you except bring harm to you. And participating in your financial irresponsibility is bringing harm to you, and I'm not going to do it anymore. Because I love you too much to help you continue to be bad with money. Y'all make too much money to be broke. So here's what I am going to do, okay? I am going to give you $50 this time.

This time. This $50 this time. This time. This is the last time. And I'm going to give you a class called Financial Peace University to learn how to handle money. And if you do not go to the class, every single class, and you do not learn how to handle money do not ever ask me for money again because i will not give you any more under any circumstances i love you too much to buy your drugs and you're gonna have to get there because you're just a sweet person. Yeah. You're just a tender-hearted, kind person. And you're going to have to see what you're doing is mean. When you're participating with your sister's irresponsibility, you're being mean to her.

And we can extend the same conversation to your mom. And then that will help you kind of break through the enable. And sometimes people say, well, Dave, that's that's tough love no that's just love yes it's not tough love it's like your kid you know your little kid doesn't want to brush your teeth honey you have to brush your teeth for two reasons one is we don't want to smell your breath the second thing is if you don't brush your teeth you're not going to have any you know and we love you too much to not let you know well i don't want to brush my teeth i don't really care you're going to brush your teeth because i'm going to stand here until you do until you learn to do it and until it becomes a habit twice a day

for the rest of your dad blame life and that way you have teeth because teeth are handy they help you get jobs and they help you get married, and they help you, you know, you need teeth, right? And this is the same kind of thing. But does a baby, does an 8-year-old little boy always want to brush his teeth? Well, I can promise you 100% of the time they don't. It's something you have to make them do for their own good. And that's not tough love.

That's just love. Absolutely. That's being a good daddy, a good mommy. That's all that is. And that's all you're doing that's being a good daddy a good mommy that's all that is and that's all you're doing here is being a good sister i don't want you to be mean to your sister i don't want you i don't want you to raise your voice i don't want you to be unkind or sarcastic um i was a little bit sarcastic picking at her there a minute ago to try to give you a little strength okay but the truth but the truth is but the truth is you just i just want you to sit down be kind to her and gently but firmly just like you would a

little baby you wouldn't ever be mean to a little four-year-old kid but you are going to make them do what they need to do behavior wise in order to exist in this world right you're going to behave in a restaurant you're going to sit here and you're going to say yes ma'am and no ma'am and you're going to behave and because you have to learn self-control little baby and i love you i mean i got these little grandbabies and there's five of them under five which means when they're all at the house one of them is melting down at all times right it's just all you know because but do we do we get mad at them no i'm not gonna get mad at them they're mad some of them have a little temper fit know, spit flying out of their head and all this. But Papa Dave is not going to.

We don't play that. I love you. And you're just going to sit here, and you're going to be kind, and you're going to lower your voice a little bit, and we're going to straighten up here. You know, and you can have that same conversation with your sister, and it'd be a loving conversation, but she's not going to like it. Right.

Oh, yeah. We've been there. I'm going to school in January, and I told her, I said, you know, I can't help you anymore. Yeah. I can't. Our budget is even tighter than what it was. Amy, it's not your job to help her. She's a grown person. Oh, yeah. She's not amy it's not your job to help her she's a grown person

oh yeah she's got kids it's her job and they got more money than you got absolutely this is ridiculous and your mom is no better i mean your same situation your mother just misbehaves all the time and has gotten away with it probably since way back when your daddy was alive yes and he just he just took care of her none of them knew how to budget and i was the first one to take the steps to learn how to budget you know you know if you want if you want to go to the gas station they put ten dollars in it i'll fill it up to the top yeah if you want to invest in them you can do that you know put them in the class. We'll help you. I'll give you a couple memberships if you want to do it.

But you have to call Kelly back after you have these conversations, okay? Okay. And tell her. I'll put you on hold. You can get your own connect, get phone numbers and everything, off-air phone numbers. But, you know, if they don't want to go, I don't give them a membership, right? You don't either.

But if they all go, I'll pay for it, and you and I can help them together. But I'm not sending them any money. Oh, agreed. You know, I've done this show for 30 years, and I've heard some really sad stories here on the air, and I've never given a single person here on the air money. Right. And I could have. The whole stinking Dave Ramsey show could turn into a telethon, you know. But we're not doing that.

It's not what we do. We're going to teach you how to fish. We don't give fish away. And so that's what you need to do here. The book is called Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. And, Miss Amy, you need to read it. It's a wonderful book. It'll help you a lot with what you're facing here.

Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. Your family doesn't have any, and you're going to have to put some up. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Blake, Chief Production Officer for the show, and here's a little tip for 2018. Go download our revamped Dave Ramsey Show app from the App Store. We're always listening to your feedback and adding new features to make it even better. Check it out.