The Ramsey Show - App - Does Remote Learning Affect Mental Health? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: July 31, 2020

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is the Dave Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm Chris Hogan, and hosting along with me this hour is Dr. John Deloney, and we are excited to be with you, and we are ready to take your call. Now listen, one of the things I know without a shadow of a doubt is that progress is not an accident. It's something that you've got to push, pull, scrape, and dig to get to no matter where you are right now. And life is full of setbacks.

Life will happen. Things will knock you down. Things will knock you off track. But here's what I know to be true. A setback can be a setup for a comeback. I like that. You like that one. You what we have oh you like that one you can tweet it uh you got an opportunity we can dig and push forward and i'm excited to be in

here with dr deloney we uh we always get some calls digging in on the feelings and emotions when you show up hey man we're getting to the uncomfortable things now life is too messy right now people are running too many different directions Life's coming at us 100 miles an hour. And it's time that we stop, exhale, and we start getting some help on the complex stuff. Man, let's do it. All right. Well, this is the time. Let's do it.

And so if you're out there and you've got a question I want to hear from you, the number to call is 888-825-5225. Now, go ahead and put that in your phone, people. Okay, it's 888-825-5225. Kelly's standing by. She's ready to take the call. Just give us a call. If you've got something going on in life, you've got something going on with relationships, you're frustrated, irritated, or confused on what to do, Dr. Deloney will give you some guidance. And if you've got a money question or you want to know how do I get out of debt, how do I begin to

build wealth, what are some things you can do to help yourself? Well, guess what? I'm going to try to help you there as well. Follow us on social. You can find John Deloney at John Deloney on Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram. You can find this show at Ramsey Show. And don't forget, we also have a YouTube group that is lively and fiery as well. And so find us. Send us your questions on social. We'd love to talk with you.

All right, we're going to get to the phone line. We've got Joseph in Seattle. Joseph, how can John and I help you? Hi. I have a question about in-laws. Uh-oh. In-laws or out-laws? Which one are we calling them?

A little both. All right, uh-oh. We've got another Switzerland. All right, Joseph, go ahead Oh, we got another Switzerland. All right, Joseph. Go ahead. So we just became debt-free, so we're very excited about that. Congrats. Yeah, but I guess the question is about in-laws kind of over-gifting,

specifically when they are deeply in debt with kind of a big hole with a little shovel. It gets more frustrating the more they give, just because we can see what it's doing to their future. Is there something that we can do, or is it kind of you just shut up and try to be appreciative and show them that we appreciate it even though we're not pleased with gifts on gifts. Right. Are there any grandkids involved? We just had our first.

Okay. All right. Congrats. So give me an example. What are some gifts they're giving you? So there's just kind of little things like once we had the baby, we had a foot massager or little things like once we had the baby, do you get a foot massager or little things like that at Christmas? It's usually about $800 to $1,000 just in things, sometimes things we need but, you know, we're saving up for, or whether it's new kitchen tables or appliances. Well, how are you aware of their financial situation?

They're pretty open about it. So we hear about it. So do you feel guilty when you get these gifts? I mean, do you feel – tell me what you're working through. Because I guess the reason I'm asking that is put their math aside. These gifts are doing something to you. What is it? Yeah, I guess I haven't really thought about that.

Yeah, you have because you said you're alluding to guilt. Yeah. You're alluding to the guilt because you said they don't really not in a situation to give it. And my question would be with you. Go ahead. Yeah, I think it's just that we can see that they're hurting themselves, their future. And, you know, we're going to feel responsible because we will have had, you know, X amount of dollars worth of that debt. What was the game-changing moment for you, Joseph,

when you saw money a little bit different and realized debt wasn't your friend? What was it? Was it the total money makeover? Was it the show? What caused you to open your eyes? I think it was a total money makeover. Have you gifted that to your in-laws? We have not.

Have you talked to them about money at all? We've talked to them, but it's kind of a, well, that's just something that we're working on. Right. You know, it's kind of passive. Hey, Joseph, your in-laws are grown-ups, and they can do what they want to, and you're in a unique moment to decide whether, and this is you being a grown-ups and they can do what they want to and you're in a unique moment to decide whether and this is you being a grown-up you're you're a new dad now this is the rest of your life right you're you're fully in grown-up mode now you and your wife get to decide a do you value um relationship

over being right do you value um acceptance of a gift as complicity? And no one's going to be able to do that math for you but you and your wife. You're all going to have to make that value statement together. And you're going to have to recognize that some parents realize, man, we didn't say I love you enough. We have some sort of built-in parent gift along the way. And the way we're going to feel good about ourselves moving forward is to buy grandkids gifts we're going to overdo christmas yep and is that right technically no the spirit and the heart behind it i get it i understand it i'm not going to beat somebody up over that but at the end of the day man you only run the risk in my opinion chris tell me i'm wrong

only run the risk in my opinion of alienating your in-laws who are trying to love you that's exactly right now here's the bottom line you have kids of alienating your in-laws who are trying to love you. That's exactly right. Now, here's the bottom line. You have kids and you've got in-laws. You know how grandparents are with grandbabies. You can't stop that train. No. Okay? You'll get throat chopped and headlocked messing around with that.

What they can do, Joseph and his wife can do, is say, hey, mom and dad, we appreciate you. You know stuff doesn't equal love for us. Here's a copy of the Total Money Makeover book because we really want you to have a financial future along with us. But here's the deal. Only spend $100 on us. That's right. Now, what you do with the grandbabies is your business.

But just only give them a limit. Now, if they choose, like you said, to follow that, so be it. But they can also choose not to. Or they could say, hey, grandparents are going to spend what they're going to spend on their grandkids. I like this. This year, let's do no gifts. This year, let's write letters to each other, and we're going to read them out loud. And how awkward and uncomfortable it's going to be, we're going to tell each other that we love each other.

Chris is laughing in here. No, no. He's like, I ain't going to do feelings out loud. Listen, I have feelings, John Deloney. You've got seven. I have eight of them now. We're going to tell each other how much we love each other we're going to show it we're gonna we're gonna do a activity christmas we're gonna do activity birthdays and you lead by we're not doing gifts anymore no and then you offer that as an extension

to them you know what we've just hit on the bottom line of having a conversation let's no longer allow it to be this secret frustration or secret awkwardness. Let's be open enough to have a conversation with them. That's right. And express love. And I can only change my gift-giving behavior. Not theirs. So maybe I'm going to encourage them moving forward.

I cannot control other grown-ups, John Deloney. Amen. Especially not your in-slash-outlaws. No, don't do it. All right, everybody. Boy, we done started off on the right foot. I'm wide awake. Deloney is too. We are solving problems. Get on the phone. All right, everybody. Boy, we done started off on the right foot. I'm wide awake. Deloney is too.

We are solving problems. Get on the phone and call us, people. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. folks i love telling you about well-made well-thought-out products today i'm talking about grip six belts i don't know about you but I'm not a fan of traditional belts. They never fit right, and they're uncomfortable. Grip6 belts are unique. Owner BJ designed a truly modern, minimalist belt made of high-quality materials with no holes, no flap, and no bulk.

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Welcome back. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. I tell you what I love. We got people in the lobby. I just shook the hand of a dude that made me feel like a toddler. He got a big old hand. I got a little bitty tiny hand now. And he's just nice guys and good families.

And if you're ever in this area, come visit us. Swing by. We got the Baker Street Cafe over there. Some stuff that I've baked. Okay, that's a lot. You didn't bake nothing. I didn't bake anything. All right, but there's some stuff over there.

Melissa Wilson has baked it and prepared it. We'd love to have you come visit the bookstore and see us. We'd love to see your face. You all are sending in social media questions. I asked you to send them in, and that's exactly what you've done. Right now, Deloney is outpacing me in the questions he has coming in, so I'm a little offended. You're going to get there, Chris.

But it's okay. Keep working on your craft. It's okay. I'm not. Hey, I'm learning contentment. But I'm going to give you this question, John. This is from David and this is from the Ramsey Baby Steps community. By the way, if you didn't know that that community exists, if you are working any of the Baby

Steps or if you've done it all, you've got an opportunity to plug in and have community. You can check that out at Dave Ramsey dot com. But this question comes from David. He says, with schools wanting to go back isolated, how does this affect children's mental health? Oh, this is big. That's a big. So schools are right now are in a no-win situation and i'm calling it a no-win and no blame it just is and so kind of cutting through all the silliness

there is no question kids they call it the nerd word as they co-regulate kids do not have the ability to stand on their own two feet with identity, with am I safe, am I loved. They are always ping-ponging off the people in their world. That's why having parents who look their kids in the eye and talk to them and read to them and walk with them and listen to them is so important because kids are getting feedback from the environment. This is going to be tough for kids. This is really going to be tough going back and figuring out how to talk to a teacher

with a mask on is going to be tough going back and figuring out how to talk to a teacher with a mask on is going to be hard. I don't know a way around that because kids are also carriers of COVID, depending on where you listen, what news source you listen to and what doctors you listen to. It's just going to be hard. So I think schools are going to have to be hyperintentional about listening, about eye contact, about journaling, about talking through things with their kids. And they're going to have to be hyperintentional about helping parents have tools to process the school day when they go home. Well, that's a good point. And here's the thing.

You can't pass on what you don't possess. That's right. And so as a parent, I think it's also important to realize, hey, how have you been approaching this COVID situation? You know, how have you been talking about it outwardly? And I think it's important, John, to also have also have age appropriate conversations with these young people absolutely pretending it doesn't exist yeah it creates a tension in your home and kids are the best about feeling tension and looking in the mirror and saying it must be my fault because they co-regulate themselves

they're always looking so if they feel distance from a parent the kid says it's my fault what do i what did i do to screw this up what did i do to make my parent i want to talk to me or make my friends or my teacher and so it's always communicating in the in the most age appropriate but intentional way with kids that this is a messy situation we love you we love you we love you and show it show it show it show it that's good david thank you so much for sending that in uh again if you all are out there and you've got a question, find John on social media, at John Deloney. You can find me at ChrisHogan360. We'd love to talk to you.

All right, we're going to get back to the phones. Again, I want to give you the number, 888-825-5225. Again, that's 888-825-5225. Call us. I know you all have questions and thoughts or things you'd love some guidance on. We'd love to help you. All right, next up we've got Ashley. We're going to go down to Florida and Fort Myers.

Ashley, how can John and I help you? Hi, how are you guys? It's a pleasure to talk to you. Well, thank you very, very much. Thank you for calling. So my husband and I have been in business for about a year, but we want to make sure we're scaling our business correctly. A little bit of background.

Currently, my husband works full-time under somebody for a detail company at a dealership. And that's basically what we based the business off of, hoping in the future, manage contracts with dealerships and collision centers to run their day-to-day. And we're at the point to where our side hustle is actually making more than the full-time. And before COVID, we actually went out to different dealerships to say, hey, this is what we do. This is our price infrastructure. These are the problems that we can solve for you.

But we have not received any callbacks. So I guess my bigger question is, how do we better approach potential clients to get the yes? Okay, so you've went and you've met with them, provided them the price list, and then you went back and you were waiting on them to call you? Correct. Yeah.

Well, you forgot the next step. See, Ashley, this is like tennis. You ever played tennis? Yes. Okay. So if I hit the ball in your court, what do you have to do? Got to hit it back. And then I hit it where?

Ashley? Yeah, come on, baby. Work with me here now. Okay. So I hit it back to you. hit it where actually yeah come on baby work with me here now okay so i hit it back to you here's the deal you hit the ball into their court by giving them the price list right and they didn't hit it back so what do you got to do you got you got to go find the ball so i would just say pick up the phone proactively call them and follow up make them tell you no and this is a very difficult thing because we are so sensitive nowadays where we will rationalize in our heads that, oh, they must not want to do business with us. They didn't call, so they don't like me. They don't like my business, and that's not true. Call them. People are busy. Things are buzzing, ringing, and dinging. Get on

the phone. Get in touch with the general manager or whoever that decision maker is, talk with them about the price list, ask them for their business. Okay. And so that proactiveness, it's going to feel weird. Okay. I have trained many salespeople over the years. It's going to feel weird. You're thinking you're bothering them. You're not. What you're doing is having a level of persistence so you can serve them. So what I want you to do is all the people you handed the thing to make a call list, call them. If they don't return your call, go see them. Okay. Do be proactive enough that they tell you no.

And even if they tell you no, I want you to hear this phrase is going to change your world. When you hear no, I want you to hear not yet because that's really what it boils down to. They don't know they need you yet, so I'm going to be persistent. I'm going to stay on the forefront of their minds. I'm going to be proactive because my product and service has value, and I think if you do that, it'll help your business stand apart. So you said something, Chris, that I haven't thought about for a minute.

So there's this nerd word, a nerd concept in psychology called fundamental attribution error. That's when I get inside your head and decide for myself why you did what you just did. Right. Right? So in a sales world,

I put my pricing list on your table. I say, here's my value, and I walk away. You don't call me. Then I get to decide to get on your table i say here's my value and i walk away you don't call me then i get to decide to get in your head and say we didn't not calling you because you're a loser and you're an idiot this is a stupid business and what a failure and moron you are or i can just go knock back on the door and say hey i dropped my pricing list off how are things going what a waste of energy the time we spend in other people's heads. That's right.

Well, and the other psychological phrase on that is it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Yeah. Because now you didn't get the business because you already expected not to. Because I already imagined that you told me I didn't get the business because I'm an idiot. That's right. And then I become an idiot. That's right. So it's one of those things where, again, don't assume.

And don't do it with your kids and don't do it with your spouse. Don't assume. Don't do it at work. That's right. Call them and make them say, hey, you know what? Right now we're good. We don't need it. And I say, okay, you know what?

I appreciate you letting me know that. I'm going to follow up with you here in a couple of weeks and just to check in. And so just bear with me here because I know what we can do for you and I know you'll love it. But just I'm going to check in with you every couple of weeks. I'm going to email you and touch base. But if you ever need me, call me. I love it. Go be courageous.

You're standing up for yourself, and what you're not doing is just taking the status quo. How much do we walk through a day? Chris, it just hit me while I'm sitting here. How much do I walk through a day just imagining what other people are saying to me and why they're saying it? It's not real. No, it's not. They're not even thinking about me.

These dealers are probably thinking about trying not to close their business because of COVID. They're busy. They're busy. They're busy. And unfortunately, I think, you know, you've hit on this before, that voice in the back of our heads. It's a mean, mean old voice.

It can be. It can be an encouraging thing or it can be a limiter. And the danger of it is, John, is nobody even knows you're telling yourself that. It just pipes in all day. It pipes in. Unfiltered. It really is. And so I think we get to choose the track.

I know we do. So I want you to choose some positive, encouraging words for yourself. Not worried about what the world is saying to you. What do you think about you? And I want you to play that track time and time again. Remember, you can if you will. My mama told me that a long time ago. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Hello, everyone.

This is the Dave Ramsey Show. I'm Chris Hogan, and hosting along with me this hour is Dr. John Deloney, and we are excited to be back with you. And we want you to know if you've got a question, we want you to call us. That number to call is 888-825-5225. Again, that's 888-825-5225. All right. Let's go to blinds.com, question of the day.

Blinds.com, you can find out for yourself why blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window covering. You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more. If you are measuring challenge like me, you screw it up, you can drop it off, send it back to them, and they will do full refunds. You can use the promo code ramsey to get the best deal rules and restrictions apply all right here we go today's question comes from jack in california he visits davramsey.com to ask the following how should i deal with burnout from work and debt i'm our only income my wife is a stay-at-home mom due to depression and anxiety issues not allowing her to work i find myself to be exhausted and checking out mentally at work and at home

due to the stress of the debt any advice would be appreciated there's a lot and a and i want to catch one thing it says my wife is a stay-at-home wife due to depression and anxiety. That's true. Not a stay-at-home mom, which is a different thing. So a couple of things here, Chris, and I'd love to get your wisdom. Dealing with work and burnout, just being exhausted, work, debt, all the responsibilities. Also, I can hear in this question, I love my wife, man. She's not doing good. She's staying at home too.

It's just a lot. In counseling, we call it leakage, which means you can deal with it or it will deal with you. And it usually finds its way out. I know it's a gross metaphor. It will deal with you and it will find its way out in real inopportune times. And so, Jack, this is a moment when you reach out to a pastor, when you reach out to a professional counselor, and you sit down and talk about what you are personally struggling with. what are your debts? That's where we have Financial Peace University. There's a schedule plan there. Work, you get in contact with our good friend Ken Coleman to find out what's your work situation. Find professionals, find experts in your field

and get some connection there. The second thing is I want to reach out to a stay-at-home wife who is struggling with depression and anxiety is not allowing her to work. I don't like that language. And I know, hopefully it doesn't sound controversial. I don't like it when people take on depression and anxiety as an identity. As a way of being. As a future prediction of the way their life is going to roll out. These are responses.

These are biological responses. They're personal responses to challenges that you can overcome, but you've got to put in the hard work. Depression and anxiety are not diseases, and they are not identities. Well, John, you actually, on an article that's on DaveRamsey.com, wrote something on how to deal with anxiety. Listen, the times we're living in right now, I don't care how tough, how strong you are emotionally. We've all had a period of some serious anxiety, my friend.

I walked in today and said, today's been nuts. And to Mr. Christopher Hogan sitting right next to me, right? If you are not feeling anxious, you should probably go see a psychiatrist something's not right you know what do you do you've got to feel oh if you feel it you got to get connected okay you've got to acknowledge it all right you've got to sit down with your loved ones whether that's your husband jack here whether that's a community that you can be vulnerable with and you've got to start being open and you've got to decide i don't want this to be the rest of my life gotcha and when you make that decision and depression makes that hard right depression simply means whatever's going on in your life is your

fault and it's going to be this way forever what happened to you is your fault and it's always going to be this way and i want to tell folks who are struggling that's a lie it's not true and there are professionals there are mental health counselors there are physicians there are folks who can help you get from where you are to where you're going to go. But I don't want someone to be resigned to this. It's just the way this is always going to be. Well, and so that's the reality on the anxiety, the depression, reaching out, getting some help, as Dr. Doloney just described. Don't stay to it yourself.

You guys need a counselor. You need to get plugged into your church. And I would tell you this, Jack, when it comes to the dollar amount, you didn't get in debt overnight. And so you're not going to get out of debt overnight. So don't have an unrealistic expectation. I'm going to tell you right now, I could do a whole segment on that. Unrealistic expectations.

What that can do is defeat you from where you ever get started. You can pay off this debt. You can get this thing done. I'm going to tell you right now, all you got to do is get plugged in. We've got the Ramsey Plus free trial going on right now. Everybody's gone through some tough times. People are hurting. John Maxwell says change is inevitable. Growth is optional. And so what we have to do is say never again, never again. Am I going to put myself in this situation? Am I going to feel like this emotionally when it comes to money? Am I going to lose sleep worrying about an XYZ debt or bill?

I'm going to get a game plan that's actually going to work. And so we've launched something new, this all-new membership that gives you our best money product. You can learn through all nine lessons of Financial Peace University, our proven plan to win with money. That's not even debatable. You can budget with premium features of every dollar, and you can also track your progress with the new Baby Steps app. So you can start your free Ramsey Plus trial right now. All you have to do is take this step, and you never again have to walk through a crisis without having some confidence.

So here's what you do. You can do this. And to get your free trial, I want you to get Ramsey Plus. Text the word trial, T-R-I-A-L, to 33789. That's text the word trial to 33789, and you can get plugged in. And I'm going to tell you, John, not only do you have an opportunity to have access to community because you're in with other people, I think isolation is one of the most dangerous things that we have going on right now. You've got the anxiety, you've got all the stress and

tension, but the isolation, not being able to be connected with people is real. I think the chief enemy of our time is loneliness. And that's pre-COVID, man. That was going on before COVID. When you look at the diseases of despair the the average lifespan in the u.s going down yet again we are lonelying ourselves to death what do you mean diseases of despair what are those it is organ diseases addictions um uh what is it addiction Addiction, organ diseases, suicide. It's this idea that I don't belong. I'm stuck here by myself.

Every alarm we have in our brains are going off saying connect, connect, connect, connect. And everything in our world is saying it's all about you. Just get your friends on your little digital box. You don't need to go to church. You don't need to be involved in 4-H or after school activity. You don't need any of that stuff. Just go in need to be involved in 4-H or after-school activity. You don't need any of that stuff. Just go in your room and shut the door, and you're all you need. And that is a fundamental mistruth.

It's a lie, and it's killing us, man. And then you end up with an over-addicted, over-spent, over-exhausted society, man. And then something comes along like COVID and just throws a wrench in the middle of the NASCAR track, and all the cars pile up behind us. Well, and then you get this almost political or whatever justification to isolate. Right. Because we've been told, stay home. Stay at home.

Don't do X, Y, or Z. Yeah. You know what the chief demon right now is? Other people. That's how it's being made out to look. That's right. Right, right. But from, you know, is that little kid going to make me sick? right now is other people so that's how it's being made out to look that's right right right yeah but

but as from from you know is is that little kid gonna make me sick is my neighbor gonna make me sick is that woman walking by me on the sidewalk so we are just living in a spun out exhausted moment when you feel exhausted i love what jack asks here blinds.com you're getting your money's worth on this ad today when you when you find yourself exhausted when you find yourself with people that you love and you start checking out mentally, that's a big signal that you need to go sit down with somebody, sit down with a professional, find a pastor, find a friend you can be vulnerable with and say, I'm starting to teeter on the edge here. I got to intentionally reconnect.

Yeah. And the key word in that is intentional. And I think it's a matter of reaching out and being clear. All right. Listen, I got a question in on social, and I'm glad somebody reached out and cared enough about me. One, one. Hush your mouth, Deloney. But here it is. This one says, I'm 23 years old. I make between $80,000 and $100,000 a year.

Depending on the amount of work I have, I made a huge mistake, bought a super expensive truck with a high interest rate. I realize I made a mistake. I want to take action to get myself out of this situation. I owe, get this, $62,000 on the truck. Goodness gracious. The trade-in is $45,000. What would be my best route to get a cheaper vehicle? Well, Daniel, the first route is A, the trade-in value is trade-in. I want you to look to see what the sale offer is. If you can sell this bad boy for closer to $50 to $55, now you just need a bridge loan to get yourself out of that payment.

Listen, what's done is done, but now you can get it fixed. Keep pushing, brother. Find a skateboard and ride it if you have to. It doesn't matter. Just get this payment out of your life. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Hello everyone, I'm Chris Hogan and hosting along with me this hour is Dr. John Deloney. And I'm going to tell you something, we have had some doozy calls already. And the social media is doing an amazing job.

You all are firing off the questions, whether it's from our Ramsey Baby Steps community, whether it's from John Deloney's Twitter or my Instagram. I don't got no Twitter. Okay. I've got the Instagrams. Okay, my bad. My Twitter is I get up on a hill out here and just yell real loud. That's as much as I'm going to tweet. Okay, stop.

We just taught you about the internet not long ago, so just hush a minute. But listen, you can find him. Just send us the questions. Or you can just make it easy and do it at Ramsey Show and you can direct it to one of us. Alright, we're going back to the phones. Suzanne is out in Las Vegas. Suzanne, how can we help you today?

Hi, Chris. Hi, Dr. D. It's such a pleasure to speak to you both. Well, thank you. It's an honor to talk to you, too. Thank you. So I have a question about Baby Step 4. I'm going to be 43 next month, and I'm getting ready to be able to start Baby Step 4. Good. And I'm very confused.

My company offers the traditional 401K as well as a Roth IRA. Okay. And my understanding is very limited about this, but I do, you know, I did Financial Peace University, so I have my books, and I'm kind of trying to go through all of these funds, the investment elections of where to put the money, and nothing really tells me what's a mutual fund or, you know, like I can see a growth and income one and a growth, but I don't see aggressive growth or international. And I don't really understand that. Um, and I also

have a question about with the Roth IRA, uh, the 15% of my income, should I be putting, so I roughly make about 60,000 a year in my base. and then I also get paid overtime and bonus, and that fluctuates based on workload. So I was just using a $60,000 base for now just for whole numbers. I was thinking, you know, since the Roth IRAs, I believe in 2020 have a $6,000 max contribution, should I be doing that $6,000 max in my IRA and the remaining 5% of my income into the traditional 401k, or how should I work that? Okay, here's the deal with this, and I'm proud of you because you have definitely dug in, and you're starting to get a feel for this, and I agree.

There are so many terms in the financial world. Does your company offer you a match? Okay, so it's kind of not a nice one. So they match you 50 cents on the dollar up to 6%. Okay. All right. And so you said the company offers a traditional 401k and also a Roth IRA. I want to clarify something. Did you mean they offer a traditional 401k and a Roth 401k? It says Roth IRA. Okay. I want you to double check with them because if it's a Roth 401k,

that's the route I want you to go. Okay? A Roth simply means it's after tax dollars. A regular 401k is pre-tax dollars. So the regular money you put in a 401k, when you get ready to pull it out at 59 and a half, you're going to have to pay taxes on it. Okay. But with a Roth 401k, because it's after tax dollars, it's all going to grow tax free. So here's the reality. If you have the Roth option as a Roth 401k, that's the route I want you to go. Now, I have got a free investing guide at my website, ChrisHogan360.com, that'll break down kind of all the investing terms as well as

the asset classes of the mutual funds. So I want you to go there, ChrisHogan360.com. But then here's the other thing. If they don't have a Roth 401k, what I want you to do is invest up to the match, then go from the match over to a Roth IRA. That's probably not going to get you to 15%. Then you would go back to your 401k for the additional. So the key is, is that I want to get to that 15%. And you're right. Looking at the gross stock mutual funds, different names under different 401ks, they're going to be called different things. So here's the beauty of it. You don't have to go it alone.

All you have to do is reach out to a smart investor pro, bring in your information from your 401k, sit down with them, and they will help you identify how to invest the way we talk about in those asset classes and keep you on your way. So you don't have to do it alone. And so, Suzanne, again, go to ChrisHogan360.com. You can get that investing guide and then reach out. I've also got a Dream Team button on my website that'll allow you to find a smart investor pro and get you on your way. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for growing your knowledge.

I'm proud of you for seeing your dreams of what it is you want to accomplish, and you're pushing forward. So that's fantastic. Thank you very, very much. All right, we're going to keep on the phone lines. I've got Kevin on the line. Kevin, what's your question for Dr. Deloney? All right. So I have more of a family question than a financial one. First of all, we're huge fans of the plan. So we are trying to navigate some family things so my wife and i got married a couple years ago and her family especially her mom specifically is very much an enabler and it's become pretty hard so her sister who's 30 lives in the house has a very fluid job and just met this guy who's 36 who doesn't have a job uh granted he's he's got some health issues, but there's some other factors there.

So we decided to speak out. We were looking in the Bible, and we just felt like, hey, we probably should say something about this situation because we don't want them to get into a life of poverty. That's not fun for anybody. And we just don't want someone to have to live that way that has a way out of that through a little bit of time. They want to get married really quick.

They've been dating for five months. Um, they're already ready to get married. Um, and so we're just trying to figure out, um, I guess what that looks like. Um, how do we respond in love? We went and talked to her about it and she attacked us verbally and then brought her mother into it and her mother now won't let it go. And her mother's very angry, um, has made that clear. And now we're just kind of at a point where they text us and they call us or just not sure where to go from here so kevin this one's pretty easy you can you and your wife can decide we don't want to do thanksgiving and christmas with her side of the family anymore. You can decide,

I don't want to be in a relationship with them anymore. Or y'all can decide, I wouldn't have gotten married like that. I wouldn't have been in a relationship like that. But we're going to default to love and relationship. That's it. Relationship or be right. And I would even, if you say,

I want to be right, I'm going to question you on who invited you into that conversation. Why do you even get a vote into what your sister-in-law's future relationship? Man, that's just asking for the most complex, most non-relational way of doing life. And so if she comes to you and says, Hey man, Hey Kevin, do you think I should marry this guy? Then you've got an invitation to speak. And until that moment comes, man, let it ride, dude. Let it ride. I guess our question now is we've done that thing, right? And so now we're just like,

okay, we're just going to back off. We're not going to say anything. We'll leave it alone at this point, but they won't stop now. Now they're frustrated. They want to constantly talk to us. So Kevin, you know what you need to do? You need to call them. You need to call them on the phone and say, hey, here's the deal. I had an opinion on this, and you didn't invite me to speak on this,

and I spoke, and I'm sorry. And call your mother-in-law and say, I injected into your life, you're a grown-up, and for some reason me and my wife, out of love, we were trying to do what we thought was best. You didn't ask our opinion. You don't need our opinion, and we gave it to you anyway. We caused some division, and I'm sorry. How can we be supportive?

How can we be more relational? Or call them both and say, hey, we think y'all are idiots we don't want anything to do with y'all until you get your lives right and you and your wife go off into the woods together and that's great if that's the way you want to do it but that's the binary choice you have right now call and say hey you know what we spoke up we shouldn't have sorry or forget you guys when we're out okay here's the deal i'm going to ask you on this because you can call and you can reach out and you can apologize. You cannot make them accept it. Absolutely not.

No, that's frustrating. It's super frustrating. Because if I'm reaching out to try to try to apologize, I at least would like to hear, thank you. You're forgiven all as well. That's not how the world works. But you know what the way the world does work? What's that?

Is if you scroll down on your phone, there's this dope little button called block. And so if somebody's texting you and you don't want them to go go down and push the little red button, and they won't contact you anymore. And so if you don't like the way people are talking to you on social media or on your cell phone, turn it off. Turn it off. You're in control of that. You are not in control of whether they're going to like you or not or whether they want to be your friend and hang out or not.

But I think this is a great moment for Kevin and his wife and their young marriage to say, we've got opinions, but we also want relationships. Well, you have to show me how to do that thing because I need to figure out how to block you. Hey, listen here. I am so glad for all of you all taking the time to call in. We appreciate you, Dr. D. I love harassing him.

Love his heart. Love his mindset and his focus. I want to thank producer James Child, associate producer Kelly Daniel, and I want to thank all of you for tuning in. Oh, we've had a blast. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt-free scream live on the show, make sure you visit DaveRamsey.com slash show and register.

We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.