The Ramsey Show - App - Don't Carry a Brick That Someone Else Handed You (Hour 1)

Episode Date: September 7, 2020

Relationships, Insurance, Home Buying, Home Selling Tools to get you started:  Debt Calculator: http://bit.ly/2QIoSPV Insurance Coverage Checkup: http://bit.ly/2BrqEuo Complete Guide to Budgeting: http://bit.ly/2QEyonc Interview Guide: http://bit.ly/2BuGnZE Check out other podcasts in the Ramsey Network: http://bit.ly/2JgzaQR 

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. My co-host today on the Dave Ramsey Show, Ramsey personality Dr. John Deloney, will be answering your questions about your life and your money. Dr. Deloney specializes in helping you with your relational IQ.

And that could be your relation with the person in the mirror, your spouse, your crazy parents, or whatever else is going on. Or whoever else. Or whoever else is going on. Whatever's happening. So we're talking about your life and your money. It's what we do around here and always have done. And so we're going to do it together today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Pat starts us off in Colorado. Hey, Pat, what's up?

How's it going, gentlemen? Thank you so much for having me on the show. How are you? Better than I deserve. How can we help? So I have a question, and I hope I can explain it well, but I'm currently 19 years old, and I'm a longtime listener, so I've been able to incorporate a lot of good financial practices into my life, so I want to thank you for that. But the problem I am having is with the foundation of everything. So specifically, I've seen the struggle understanding and appreciating the value of money. And overall, my goal is to become a much more frugal person.

So I was wondering if you have any advice on how I can reach that goal. Well, the first thing that occurs to me is if you're 19 years old and ask that question, you ain't struggling much. No, I'm not. Yeah, what does struggling mean? Help me with that. i don't even understand the question struggling with to appreciate money or the value of money i mean you you got your you got your crap together and you're asking that question which puts you ahead of 59 year olds much less 19 year olds right well i just i just um like example, I make big purchases without thinking much of it.

And one thing I've been doing more is trying to use cash. So I feel the pain when I'm paying something. But overall, and my dad, like, criticizes me for this a lot, but I just don't seem to really understand just the value of money. So I was wondering how I can become a much more frugal person and not spend as much on stupid items whose money are you spending um my money and um my parents money sometimes so what's what's a big dumb purchase well i like for example i might go buy an 800 motorcycle helmet when I don't really need that. I might go buy $300 motorcycle gloves when I don't need that.

Just big purchases that I don't need, I'm making. I go get Red Bulls every day, and that's $2. So over time, you know, that adds up, and I just don't want to be like that anymore. Okay. Well, a couple things come to mind. Because I, you know, struggle with the exact same thing. That's why God makes me teach this every day. And so my name is Dave, and I like stuff.

Hi, Dave. And so I'm in my little group here. And so one thing is that if I have a goal that I'm aiming at, and I really care about that goal and it has a dollar amount attached to it then I say well those gloves are keeping me from that goal that helmet's keeping me from that goal so it will short circuit my brain and tell my brain no I like the goal better than I like the gloves okay so you need to have a target that you're aiming for that matters to you a lot the second thing is you need a written game plan called a budget.

And then if it's not in the budget, that also activates your brain and says, no, I haven't. Back when I was sane three hours ago and I wrote all this down before I lost my mind, I said to myself, self, I don't want to do this. And so I'm going to stick to my sane self's suggestion that I wrote down in the budget, right, before you went crazy, Len. And you go, okay. Or you put it in the budget, it is consistent with the goal, and then you buy it without regret. There's nothing inherently wrong with the purchases you made. The biggest problem is

you felt out of control when you did it. Right. And Pat, I put breaks in my life. I'm not where Dave's at, so I unhook things. I may go through a season where I take my debit card off of Amazon.

Or I may, I've had a season in the past where I gave my debit card to my wife, and I just kept cash in my wallet. And when that cash was gone, that cash was gone. And that helped me learn to grow breaks of my own. And now I don't struggle with that as much anymore, right? Yeah, because sometimes it's like a Sabbath. That's right.

You have to take a rest break, and then when you come back, you're recharged to be able to have that the self-control right which is what we're looking for here and i guess the last thing that i have done that helped me with it probably more than the budget or having a goal was uh as a person of faith as a christian i had a real deep experience with understanding that it's not my money. I'm managing God's money. And so then I can ask myself, would the owner of the money be okay with the manager doing this with it? And that changes my thing. Which, by the way, that still includes motorcycle helmets.

There's nothing wrong with that. Because God, you know, he's crazy about us. And if we, being evil, know how to give our kids good gifts, how much more so our Father in Heaven. And abundant living and all of that stuff. And it's not prosperity gospel, but it is this idea that Christians have to live in a cave, collect Lent, and only come out on triple coupon Thursday. Or you've lost your salvation. It's absolute BS. Okay?

That's just ridiculous. And so, you know, God wants you to have some things, but he also wants you to save money, and he wants you to be outrageously generous. Those are all in Scripture, his instruction book to you. And so the manager, me, is managing for the owner according to the manual, the instruction, which means I'm going to take care of my own household. I'm going to enjoy some things. I'm going to save in the house of the wise or stores of choice food and oil.

I'm going to be outrageously generous. God loves an outrageous giver. That's a big deal. He loves a hilarious giver. And this all through scripture. So if you're doing all of those things and you've got some rhythm, but you're doing them through the lens of my money, it takes on a different tenor than if you say, okay, this is not mine. If I was just managing money for John Deloney. Right. And you said, okay, these are the rules.

You need to enjoy some of it. You need to save some of it. And you need to enjoy some of it. You need to save some of it. And you need to give some of it. And then I can put that instruction and I have the paradigm of I got to report back to the owner. Right. I'm accountable to the owner for my behaviors with his stuff. There you go. It's a fiduciary responsibility.

It's a trust relationship. And so that changes the way I think about it. And so then the heating and air goes out on the house. Is it okay with God if I fix the heating and air on my house? Yeah, because he said take care of your own household. My kids live in there. My grandbabies live in there. My shih tzu lives in there who's really concerned about air conditioning.

And so, you know, all that. So it sounds like the foundation of that is intentionality. Yeah. And Pat mentioned something that, you know, he's making these big purchases. It feels like they're not intentional. It feels like they're impulsive. Then Red Bulls, and then this, and then this. And I wonder if his dad is speaking into him saying, you're acting like a child, a teenager

child. It's a maturity issue. It's a maturity issue. That's right. And, you know, and it doesn't have to do with being 19. That's true. I mean, 59-year-olds that are more out of control than he is. That's exactly right. But he's asking the questions. He's asking the being 19. That's true. I mean, 59-year-olds that are more out of control than he is. That's exactly right.

But he's asking the questions. He's asking the questions, and that's good. Yeah, first thing, 90% of solving a problem is realizing there is one. Ding, ding. Be intentional. You're there. Be intentional. There you go.

Dr. John Deloney, my co-host, Ramsey personality, this day on the Dave Ramsey Show. One question I get asked all the time is, do I need life insurance? Listen, the whole point of life insurance is to replace your income for someone who counts on you. So if you have a spouse or you have kids, yes, you need term life insurance. It's the only way to protect them until you're out of debt and have built up your wealth. You're only digging a deeper hole if you waste money on cash value plans, since it robs you of the ability to make real progress. And that's why I send you to Zander Insurance, and I have for 20 years. That's where I get all my insurance, and they only offer the plans I recommend.

It is not expensive. It's not complicated. And Zander will be there as your guide every step of the way. Visit Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. You need to get this taken care of. I can give you the advice, and I can tell you where to go, but it's really up to you to take that important step to get your family protected.

That's Zander.com or 800-356-4282. My co-host today here on the Dave Ramsey Show, Ramsey personality Dr. John Deloney is with me. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Jessica is in Arizona. Hi, Jessica. How are you? Good. How are you? Better than I deserve.

How can Dr. John and I help? Yeah, so I'm currently Baby Step 3D. I'm saving up, looking to buy a house or a townhouse in the next year or two. Cool. But my question is, if I'm looking to have roommates because I am single, is it okay to include in that 25% of your take-home pay, right, for the payment? Is it okay to include what I would charge roommates in that or no? No.

Okay. And the reason is they might not pay they might not be there you might get married and run them off right okay okay and then you'd be right back where you are so i'm just going to be conservative what do you make uh i make 44 but i supplement it with uber reach good for you you're a worker hustling yeah I heard in your voice. I'm trying to get it back. I heard in your voice you've already got a place picked out, don't you? Not specifically. I have like a dream in my head, but I'm going to settle for a little bit lower.

Yeah, yeah. I can just hear the disappointment, and you're like, ah, I thought I'd worked around the 25%. I mean, you can cheat up a little if you want, but the danger is if you don't get the money out of them for whatever reason, you pick a bad roommate or they get laid off for COVID and then they can't pay you, you know, or something like that. It makes her fickle, fickle, yeah. Yeah, then you really get in a mess. So I'm just trying to keep your life smooth. That's all. Yeah, thank you.

Cool. Hey, thanks for calling in. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's what I'm here for, to burst the bubble. John's in California. Hey, John, how are you? I'm better than I deserve, Dave. How are you, sir? Just the same, sir. How can Dr. John and I help? Well, I want to give you guys this advice. I'm trying to help my mom make a good choice about a move. She's

had a little history of codependence with me, and she lives in Oregon. She wants to move down here to California, but I think it's too expensive for her to do that. And I'm just curious, John, Dave, how I can walk her through the baby steps and explain to her maybe what might be the best choice for her right now at her age. How old is she? She's 70 and she's divorced. And when I was 13, my parents went through a pretty horrific foreclosure and lost everything in that process. So there's a lot of history there

too with this. Do you have grandkids? Do you have kids running around that she wants to see, or does she want to see you? I'm being more serious with my girlfriend, and I think she sees that in the forecast for sure. But not right now. I'm currently a bachelor. I'm a baby step 3B, 36, self-employed here in L.A. So, and Dave, you can hop in. I'm going to recommend you don't try to solve this as a math problem there's a math component to this but you may be dealing with a 70 year old lonely mom who

recognizes that she's 70 and wants to be around her baby boy she may be feeling that um there's some other woman that's going to replace her and so she wants to make sure she can get down there and get wedged between the two of you where she rightfully should be um and i'm just kidding by the way but this sounds like a really emotional conversation that again sitting down with a with a calculator isn't going to convict her heart um i would want to sit down and want to know what she wants to do and why she wants to do it but she can't afford the property she can't afford a property obviously that's part of the conversation but um i'd honor her. And just, my lonely mom wants to

be around me in her last 10, 15, 20 years. Yeah. So, she has no money. Is that what you're saying? Well, actually, Dave, it's fascinating. She took a horrific fall a few years ago, and there was a settlement last year of $72,000 that she put into our money market account.

She also has no debt. She's got no car payments. So, I've72,000, which she put into our money market account. She also has no debt. She's got no car payments. So I've been, again, trying to walk her through the baby steps. I'm on 3B right now, personally, and she's got $138,000 in our money market. So I'd love to see her use that to buy a condo, but as we know, that won't get you anything in Southern California. I mean, there's some options for her for condos in Oregon, maybe Arizona or Nevada. But like you said, John, it's a math thing, but also it's so emotional because when we lost the home, it was just my mom and I lived in a hotel for a while. We were on food stamps. So I think she's kind of in shell shock that she actually has money to do something with it now. Yeah, and sometimes that makes the $72,000 feel like it's $720,000 for her.

And so it feels like it's a lot of money, and you and I know it's not, especially if you start talking about buying something in California. So, you know, I think you talk, work through the heart side, and let's just admit where we are, and then let's look at the reality of the math, and math says, Mom, you're going to be one state over. That's probably what the math says, but you don't start with that as the opening salvo in this discussion. And so, and you don't bring her over there where you are supporting her, but just because she wouldn't make a decision to live within her means and demanded to be, was entitled to be close to you, because that's not true. And so, you know, you have to be kind and loving and put her in a position where she's self-sustaining, and that gives her dignity, and then from there you can work out travel or whatever needs to be done to maintain the connectivity i've got a little bit

of a of what i would consider an unpopular belief on the kid side of this conversation and i don't like to think of it as an obligation dave or a rule but i do find people my generation their 30s and 40s who don't feel like they have a responsibility and I don't even like that word because it makes it sound like mowing the lawn but I think we should reach out to our parents and I think we should love our parents and I think we should spend intentional time trying to connect with them and I think that I need to build into my life space where I'm with them, either physically or if we can't do it where we're connecting. And I know that turns into, well, then you've got to move into the basement.

And there's all kinds of, it turns into a job, right? To like a responsibility. It can be a rhythm of travel between L.A. and Oregon. You know what I mean? Because it's not that big a jump. Yeah. Or Nevada. But you're, you know, the responsibility wasn't what you were saying where you were responsible.

For paying the bills. To pay their bills. No. No. But I do hear this talk of, ugh, my parents. My mom just wants to come see me. And I want to say, yeah, because that's your mom. And she loves you.

And if you have hardened your heart to a place where you just don't want to be around them, you don't want to be around them you don't want to see them man you got to look in the mirror on that one because that's your mom that's your dad and of course everyone's got their histories that they got to deal with but i just want to see people my age and this clearly isn't this guy i love john here he's trying to solve this problem both in a heart place and a math problem but i want to see all of us lean more towards respecting our folks trying to honor our folks and trying to be in connection with them in some shape form or fashion we've got to reconnect with our lineage in those i think a lot of people

have trouble delineating the the emotional responsibility for connectivity versus financial responsibility for caretaking that's right it's like if i do one i got to the other and it's easy to get taken advantage of oh they're telling me they're taking me hey can i have 500 right now and i get the short leap mom's mom's a travel agent for guilt trips you know and so that's right like you know i was the one change your diaper you ought to give me some money you know and so um that kind of stuff if more if more young people were like john who sees his mom and loves her and wants to honor her, and also sees the coming cash flow train wreck that's on the way, and wants to reach out. That's a really healthy place.

What a gift, yeah. Very cool. Deb is with us in Michigan. Hi, Deb, how are you? I'm great, Dave, how are you? Better than I deserve. How can we help? Well, back when I was a kid, my parents bought me a whole life insurance policy. Yeah, everybody did back then.

So I was listening to you, and I sold it. I got rid of it, and I helped pay off some of my bills with the money I got. Wonderful. But since then, they've been sending me a dividend check every quarter for like $12 to $13, and I don't know why. They didn't cash your policy out. They're still holding your money. They sent me $3,000.

I know, but did they send you a loan against your policy instead of you cashing it out? I don't know. Jump on the phone customer service, and let's make sure we have a real clear understanding that this policy is canceled. Why am I getting dividend checks? Because the policy is canceled and closed out completely

and you got all your cash value, there should be no dividend checks. There's no policy outstanding. Is there a second policy you forgot about in the drawer? That could be the other thing. This is the Dave Ramsey Personality. The main difference between houses that sit on the market and houses that actually sell are oftentimes simply this. Your real estate agent is awesome or they suck.

That's the difference. And the Pareto principle is definitely true in the real estate business. 20% of the real estate agents sell 80% of the houses. And among that 20%, 20% of them sell 80% of those houses. I mean, it just keeps on going. Is it about hustle? There's a whole bunch of donut eaters in that business. Is it about hustle?

It's about knowledge. It's a professional. You freaking know what you're doing. And if you sell two houses a year, I'm happy for you. But you're not. I mean, I don't want you selling my largest asset. No. I mean, if you get ready to hire a consultant to come in and work for our company,

let's say we hired an SEO digital consultant, and we're going to pay them $25,000 to help us with SEO. And we say, you know, how many times have you done this? Twice. Well, crap, I know more about it than you do. Right. You know? But, no, I've helped 47 companies this year.

Right. And I've made them an ROI of this. Well, that's a professional consultant. That's what a real estate agent is. So you've got to know the value of a good real estate agent, and it's worth it to go through the trouble to find the right ones. Well, we did that for you because we don't have any subpar agents in our endorsed local provider program. They're all high-octane, high-protein getters. They get her done so never again

settle for a subpar agent because they're a family member or somebody that's a friend that you're afraid you're going to hurt your you're afraid they're going you're going to hurt their feelings please hurt their feelings gently kindly but if your friendship is dependent upon you letting a neophyte sell your house you don't have a good friendship. So move on. Find the agent that we recommend at DaveRamsey.com slash agent, particularly in this weird post-COVID, sort of post-pandemic, whatever market we're in. You've got to have somebody else with a flip they're doing.

Drive you crazy, man. Ben is with us. Ben's in Connecticut. Hey, Ben, what's up in your world man well i have a little bit of a relational problem i'm hoping you and dr d can help me with okay bring it on so i just entered into my first relationship in two years and i am punching way out of my league here that's a good sign. Dave and I can both identify, so continue. Fantastic.

I've been on baby step two for the past two years. The first year I was gazelle intense. The last year I had some real bad news, knocked my emotional wind out of me, so I was acting like a donkey. But this girl that I'm dating now, debt-free, cash flow to master's degree, and has her three to six months,

and I'm afraid she's going to realize I'm a donkey. I've got 70 grand left in debt and I just don't know how to deal with it. So why are you sabotaging this thing before it even gets off the ground, man? I'm trying not to. I've expressed to her I have the debt and she's fine with it. She's a cheerleader for me. That's just my problem is feeling with me like I'm inadequate. Yeah, so you've got to picture yourself with a cinder block that just says, I don't

have value, and you're carrying it around looking for the next wonderful person to hand that to. Why are you doing that? Well, the reason I've been single for two years is I had a marriage that fell apart because my wife had a boyfriend behind my back for six months. There you go. And so somebody handed you a brick that said you're not worth anything. And you're still carrying something that somebody handed you.

And so the work you've got to do is to put that sucker down. Put the cinder block on the ground and leave it there. Take the lessons you learned from the last marriage, whatever you brought to it, good and bad. Take the pain that somebody put in your back pocket, acknowledge it, own it, and then put that brick down. And if you've

stumbled into, you walked into, you created a scenario where you attracted somebody who's extraordinary, honor her, love her, and value yourself, and man, run wide open. There is one way to guarantee you're never going to get hurt again, and that's to never love again. And it's worth it. Pain is the price of love. It comes with it. And in my life, it's always been worth it. So, let me ask you something.

Does the amount of debt that you have make you a donkey or what you're doing about it? It was what I was doing about it. Which was nothing? Yeah. Back then I posted to Harley for sale. So are you, because your ex was a liar, a betrayer, and broke her promises, how does that make you a donkey? It doesn't.

Okay. I didn't think so. That was a leading question, by the way. Yeah. And, hey, let me give you this one. If you got hit by a car and you got up and stumbled and tripped over a curb, would it be fair for me to say you're clumsy? No.

Okay. So you got run over by a truck. You made some stupid decisions with money. It's not fair for me to call you a donkey. You've recognized it. You got it. You picked yourself up. You dusted yourself off.

Go get it, man. If you get this framed right in your head and you start working to get out of debt i think it makes you a thoroughbred um because you're coming back from catastrophe um if you sit on the corner and sit on the curb and suck your thumb and the rest of your life this is your identity yeah i'll I'll go with donkey. Because you're adopting the position of victim then, but you're not. All it is is you're just in the hole and she's like shiny right now. You get to know her a little better, you're going to find out she probably got a ward or two. She comes from a family at EDM.

Well, that's okay. That's okay. That's okay. So do my kids. And yet my kids, when they were dating, were not, you know, the person that was marrying into our family, we had to explain to them that it was not a perfect family. Looks really shiny. There's a lot of bright lights around us and we talk a lot but um but far from

perfect and so we had to warn the potential suitors coming into our lives this is a very difficult family to be a part of hey ben can i ask you this question do you do you not trust this is something i've i've run across with folks who have been cheated on. Do you not trust this future person to not care for you, or have you lost trust in yourself? Lost trust in myself. I trust her more than anything. There you go. Okay.

So I want you to value yourself as a trustworthy guy. Yeah. You didn't do anything wrong. You're scratching back from getting kicked in the teeth and you know i i don't i don't think i'm talking to a donkey and if you've listened to this show for very long i would have told you you know that okay and hey ben you're looking at two guys who've been knocked down before yeah and usually dave i don't speak for you but the times i've been knocked down before. Yep. And usually, Dave, I don't want to speak for you, but the times I've been knocked down

is because I've punched my own self in the face. And so you're getting back up, man. You've got this, man. You know, and honestly, it may be a good thing to do some, you know, depending on what stage this relationship's in, it's good to sit down with a good marriage counselor and a pre-marriage thing. Always.

And just say, we always talk we pretty much demanded it of our grown kids to go get good pre-marriage counseling where they discover this is what's wrong with your family of origin and you're going to bring that in and here's how I process problems

and this is what's wrong with this former marriage and you're going to bring that in and oh by the way these everyday millionaires over here aren't quite as shiny as, by God, they look like on the first date or second date or even fourth date. You get in there, you're going to find out that, you know, every family's got something. That's right. And some of them put the fun in dysfunction, you know. And so, you know, you get in there and figure it out, but get somebody to kind of coach you guys through this, and that levels the emotional playing field because right now it feels like it's not just money that's not level.

It feels like this character's not level and pain's not level, and you start both speaking the same language. Yeah, and then you can walk this out together. Good for you, Ben. Or you don't. Good for you, Ben. Very good don't. Good for you, Ben. Very good, very good. Smart guy. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. We'll be right back. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today on the air.

We've heard all the excuses from people that they use to put off making a will. Like, if I do a will, I might die. You're going to die! We've done research. 100% of you ain't making it out alive. So, in fact, our MC Solutions research team found that 74% of parents do not have a will. Guys, that's ridiculous. Can't do that.

Too important. You need a will to protect your family and to keep the state from taking over and telling everything what to do, including your kids. So stop putting it off. Get it done. You can start with our free will preparation checklist. This guide helps you think through the seven important areas like naming guardians and beneficiaries, plus all the little things you haven't thought of. Once you've gone over the checklist, setting up your actual will will only take you about 10 or 15 minutes.

So get the free checklist, get the guide, by texting WILL to 33-789. That's WILL to 33-789. Give your family peace of mind by getting your will done. It's just a grown-up thing to do. All right, Todd is with us. Todd's in Sacramento. Hey, Todd, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.

Thank you for taking my call. Sure, what's up? So, we are trying to buy some land and one of the process things we're thinking about was to sell our home and move into a fifth wheel. And I was trying to figure out if that might be a good idea. Who's we? Me, my wife, and four kids. And so the thought process would be is we would buy the land and put the hookups on

the property. And so we would be able to live there while the house was being built. And then at conclusion of the house being built, we'd sell the house, we'd sell the trailer and a truck. How long is it going to take you to build the house? I'm assuming probably about a year. I couldn't do that. Yeah, the way I answer questions here is, what would I do if I was in your shoes? And it wouldn't be that. Okay.

Truthfully, this sounds like a nightmare. That's a lot of people in a little place. That's a lot of people in a trailer, a fifth wheel. I mean, you know, I guess it depends on your family. Maybe your family is adventurous and they think this is fun or something. My family would not think this is fun. And my wife would not be on board with this, I can just tell you. And that enters into the discussion.

But, I mean, people do all kinds of things. I've talked to a guy not long ago. He bought a $5,000 used mobile home for cash and took $200,000 from the sale of his house, saved another $100,000 and built a $300,000 house. It took him three years, and he lived in that little dumpy trailer for three years while he was doing that i couldn't do that um so i can't i i don't i'm one of these people that says i'm not going to ask you to do something like dave rooms you said that i wouldn't do so because that's hypocritical to me so you can do it if you want to i won't say that you're dumb or something uh i would say you wouldn't buy a brand new one

because it's going to lose you know half its stinking value when you drive it off the lot no our stock prices would be truck and trailer would be probably about 40 grand total and then it's probably going to be worth 20 when you sell it yeah and so we would lose some but as my wife doesn't she she's the one who brought the trailer up and i thought she was initially kind of crazy but your gut reaction was correct how old how old are your kids uh 10 8 4 and 10 months yeah there's a zero percent chance this ends well for anybody this is not this is it's just real close quarters for i think i'm going to go at this another way i would rent a house spend a little money you know you're going to lose twenty

thousand dollars on this hookup anyway so i would rent a house and lose my twenty thousand dollars that way um you're gonna lose your marriage and at least two of those kids at least two of one of them's gonna hurt the other one but yeah the uh i i i mean you, again, if you pull this off and come out of it mentally healthy and your marriage is healthy and everything, financially you're going to be okay. But if you pull this off, you would be an unusual family that pulls this off. Most people that did this would rue the day. At the end of it, they going thank god that was awful it sounds like a one of those youtubeification plans where there's there's always a youtube channel of somebody doing something crazy or a pinterest channel where somebody's create a new thing

out of egg cartons and pony hair or whatever weird thing and it's just like well we can do that and you end up in a mess and nobody likes you and your neighbors want to thing. And it's just like, well, we can do that. And you end up in a mess and nobody likes you and your neighbors want to burn your house. It's just like, man, there's a reason why things work most of the time. Yeah. So I'm telling you, I probably would not do this. But I'm also not going to just absolutely tell you not to do it if you choose to do it.

But it's unusual, weird, and the reason it is is it's a lot of people in a very close quarter, and it just doesn't sound fun. Do this. If you do decide to do it, email me at askjohn at ramseysolutions.com because I'm going to have you on my show and I'm going to chronicle this with you. You'll follow him through the year. Lucy's in Oklahoma City. Hi, Lucy. How are you?

Good. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up? First, I just want to say thank you. I listened to your show a few years back religiously and I paid off like maybe $34,000 in maybe about eight months or so and I got debt free. Well done. But I have a question. I'm purchasing a home for my sister, Cash, and

it sits on about an acre and it's only had two previous owners, a mother and a son. And I am wondering whether I should purchase title insurance. I figured if I would just do a title search and purchase the abstracting work, I'd save about $1,500 or more. Yeah, I would buy title insurance. I won't buy a piece of property without title insurance. There's just too much crap that happens in title. And, you know, if it's a normal transaction, you're probably perfectly safe. So the land has only had two owners since when?

1700s? I mean, the mother, I don't know, on the land, I don't know. The house is what the mother built that house. On what? In a subdivision? Yes. Yeah. And how long In a subdivision? Yes. Yeah, and how long has the subdivision been there? Right.

And who owned the subdivision before? And did the brother that was the heir who ran off to California crazy, did he actually sign off when the guy four pieces, four deeds ago, before the subdivision was actually there, did he actually sign off on it? Or is he going to show up and want a piece of all of your lots right this is why you get title insurance okay weird crap happens i bought a piece of property one time and uh four places back in the title four owners ago one brother did not sign there were four siblings one brother did not sign he showed up wanting his money he said he i own a fourth of this property and technically he was correct so what happened the title insurance company wrote him a check because i had title insurance and i've i've just owned too

many pieces of real estate and seen weird wacky stuff i always buy title insurance and for 99 percent of people out there i always recommend you get a home inspection when you're buying a property. Even from your sister. I do want to high-five Lucy, though. She's like somebody who follows a plan and actually does research. She figured out what to do. It doesn't just... Get the title abstract.

She knows something about it. Act like the world's happening to her. I love folks like that. She's digging in, going, okay, I don't understand this fee. Why is this fee worth it? It's not worth it. I can just go do the title search and pull the title. Title abstract is just the history.

That's the breakdown of who owned it before, before, before. It's the begots, you know, beginning of the New Testament, right? That's right. And you go right down the title, and that's your abstract, and you can see the flow of it. And again, 99% of the time, you're okay. And I've owned probably 2,000 pieces of property, and I've only had a title problem two or three times. So it doesn't happen very often. But boy, whoop.

When it does. Man, oh man, oh man. That puts this hour of the Dave Ramsey Show in the books. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. On your smart speaker, you can add our skill by saying, Alexa, open the Ramsey Network skill. From there, you can listen to all our shows, ask Dave money questions like, how do I invest my money?

Or what is the debt snowball? Find out more at DaveRamsey.com slash smart speaker.