The Ramsey Show - App - Don't Let Debt Take A Toll On Your Relationships (Hour 1)

Episode Date: September 8, 2023

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing, healthy relationships. I am Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, hosting this hour with my good friend and fellow Ramsey Personality, Dr. John Deloney. And we are answering your questions, and it's a free call anywhere in the country at 888-825-5225. So starting us off this hour is Sarah in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hey, Sarah. Welcome to the show. Hello.

How are you? We are doing great. Thanks for calling. How can we help? Okay, so we have a really old family car that probably doesn't have a whole lot of time left. And we're also trying to save up for Baby Step 3. And I feel like we have to do both at once

because our emergency fund is really small and our car is really old. Yeah. So my question is, number one, is that a good idea? Should I be doing them together or should I break them up into separate goals? And like, what's a reasonable timeline to accomplish both of them? Sure. Well, how much do you guys make a year? About $130,000. Okay. And for this car that may be leaving you soon, how much do you think,

if you Kelly Blue Booked it, what would you get it for? Oh my goodness. I don't even think I could get $1,000 for it. Okay, yeah. What makes you think it's dying? Are you making $130,000 and you're embarrassed? Or what makes you think it doesn't have much time left?

Well, part of it's held together with duct tape and the hatch won't open and the two side doors, we have to finagle and push them really hard. My kids have to do tricks to get them to close um I mean I can go on I mean it's still it runs and we can get from place to place yeah yeah

but and it's like 250,000 miles on it um and so I haven't wanted to get rid of it because it still works and I don't have the money to buy a new car and I don't want to borrow money. So, um, but we don't have a lot in savings. So that's kind of where I work. Um, I don't work outside the home. I stay at home with my kids. So it's just one income. Um, so we can only save up so fast. Sure. So how much are you guys saving a month for towards the emergency fund and the car? Well, we've been putting away about a thousand dollars a month for the car. Okay. For about five months. So do you have $5,000? Yeah, we do. For the car? For a new car. Okay. Yeah. And then we have like $1, like 1900 in our emergency fund so that's really low yep yep what's y'all's goal you know what amount for are you guys shooting for for your emergency

fund um well three months for us would be about fourteen hundred dollars minimum okay like all just just bills and food we have have, um, five kids. 14,000 or 1,400. Oh, 14,000 for three months of expenses. Yeah. Okay. All right. You said 1,400. I was like, man, your kids eat way less than my kids. No, no, no, no. 14,000. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I homeschool, so I don't bring in any money even though I work all the time. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I homeschool, so I don't bring in any money even though I work all the time. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. OK, well, here's the deal, Sarah. I mean, your car, we talk about the four walls, food, shelter, utilities, transportation. Transportation is is a to a degree a need. Right.

Especially for one car, for one person to leave the home, earn money and come back. But there are a lot of families, you know, I'm not suggesting this, but just say it out loud. People do the one car family a lot. I mean, that's a reality as they're in this process. There's always four or five couples. Somebody's dropping somebody off here at the office because they're trying to get out of debt. Yeah. Yeah. We see that. They drop them off and they go back home. They drop them off and they go to their work. Right. Right. I always laugh like, oh, thanks, mom. But also good for y'all, man. Good for y'all. That's right. They're making the sacrifice. For sure.

But what I would say, Sarah, is, yeah, I mean, at this point, I would keep sticking it out a few more months with this car. And until the, and I don't know, cars, John, you probably could talk more into this. But until the engine, until the thing actually breaks and it won't turn on. I know, cosmetically, it's super frustrating with the doors and the duct tape. But I'll tell you, Sarah, when I grew up and I remember my dad had an old Lincoln car after they went bankrupt and all that, and I'm going to have him picking me up from school on certain days and the fabric of the roof of the car was loose.

Oh, shagging down. I remember that. Yeah, and it would like, and it would stay and we would push our hands up like in the first grade to like hold it because it would just like go on us and the air conditioning didn't work. So it was all sweat. Like it was just gross, right? So all that to say, cosmetically would just like go on us and the air conditioning didn't work so it was all sweat like it was just gross right so all that to say cosmetically I know it's frustrating and the hatch won't open like I mean I hear you I hear you Sarah and if I could deliver you a new Escalade right now I would like I I know it's not fun but it's running and that's

and that mindset is kind of where you have to be and then when it does out and it's going to cost more to fix than what it's worth and you get into that whole debacle, for me, that's where I would pull out of the emergency fund. And I would say, I'm going to start, I'm going to earmark $5,000 for an emergency fund. Or you have almost $2,000. So I would, if I were you Sarah, I would say, we have $7,000 in our emergency fund. We're going to keep saving and saving and saving. We're going to work towards this $14, 14. And if something were to happen in the middle of that, we have the cash then to pull it out if we need to. And to say, okay, we have to, we have to buy another crappy car for the season of life, but we're going to, so it's not going to,

you're not going to drain your whole accounts. You still want money in there for a small emergency fund, but you can use that cash. So I think some people, maybe this is just me personally, I know, you know, George Campbell may have a different opinion on this because some people love to have the, but when you're right now where you are with the state of your car, the emergency fund, I would just feel safer to think, okay, you know, we have $6,000, $7,000 in savings. We're going to continue to stay gazelle intense and keep putting cash in. And then if we reach that $14,000 and the car still hasn't died, then I'm going to go separate. And I'm going to say, okay, before I go and throw a bunch of money at retirement, I'm probably going to save up another five on the side. That's actually what I would do. I would hold off on

retirement for just a few more months. And this is where I think families um I know we're pretty dogmatic about the baby steps but I also think uh a husband and wife team can sit there like and agree on a sprint and say hey you make 130 grand husband I'm staying home with with 111 kids here would you be willing to for four months deliver pizzas two in the evening or whatever the do uber eats and I know you're exhausted but we could sprint through this for four months right for four months and then we can go get ourselves a car that works and so i like what i love rachel's idea about let's stack this thing up if your car happens to just die you've got you'll have fourteen thousand dollars to buy a new car with or ten thousand dollars and you'll have four thousand dollars in your emergency fund but man stopping trying to do two things at once is almost impossible.

And yeah, that's what we're finding. Yeah, it's just not worth it, man. I'd put it all in one big savings, label it the emergency fund. And if something happens, you know, because again, most of what you described, most of it was cosmetic. Yeah, right, it was.

And it's frustrating, I get it. But let me say this too. You can, you have this moment where you, and you're probably already doing this, but you can bring your kids along on this debt-free ride. You can give them a ringside seat to a mom who is making sacrifices. And so when they get in the car, they're like, mom, the door won't open. You can say out loud, and we don't owe anybody any money. Figure it out.

And we can all laugh and smile. But when you're older and they're older, they'll tell the story of the time mom didn't give up. And it feels like you're sacrificing. You're not. You're teaching them lifelong lessons. You guys are doing great, Sarah. Keep it up. This is The Ramsey Show.

Welcome back to The ramsey show i am rachel cruz hosting at this hour with dr john deloney and we're answering your questions when it comes to life to money everything so triple a eight two five five two two five it's a free call anywhere in the country up next we have Carly in Fargo, North Dakota. Hey, Carly, welcome to the show. Hi. Hello. Thanks for having me. Absolutely. Thanks for calling.

How can we help? So I just have a question about me and my husband. We are buying or hoping to buy my parents' house, and I was just wondering if we are ready to do that. All right. Is your family ready for that? I don't know. So we would be living with them too in the transition of everything.

So you're going to buy their house and they're going to keep living in it? Yeah, for a little bit. And then they are building and moving. No, they're not. They're going to stay with you forever. Oh, stop, John. Forever. No, they're not they're gonna stay with you forever oh stop john okay carly so um what do you how much is how much is the house how much are you buying it for 250 000 okay and what's your current home when you sell it what will you, what will you have? What will you walk away with? We are going to walk away with around $91,000 with everything

after we pay our current loan. Okay. Yep. Okay. So roughly $160,000 alone you'll take out. And your parents, I mean, so this was to John's point. I know he was joking, but to hit on that I was being a hundred percent serious buying by me buying your car from your parents or buying your

house from your parents sometimes they'll give you a great deal and it often comes with strings or sometimes they yeah but they're not gonna live in it forever and ever yeah but it will be their home it will be their home that is true so let's listen the thought that you're gonna buy this house for 250250,000 and move into it and your parents are still going to be in there. Thought number one, are they going to keep the master bedroom while they live there?

Yes. Number two, are they going to have opinions on how you decorate the kitchen and the yard? Well, we'll wait to do all of that until they're out. We'll keep it the same as what they have it right now. It sounds so good in your heart, but I'm just telling you. How long will they be there with you, Carly?

Because I know they're building, so when will they move? They're hoping to move in the spring of 2024. Okay. So nine months. So this winter we would be living with them. So, yep. Nine months. So this winter we would be living with them. Okay. Yeah. At least there's lots of,

lots of warmth and joy outside in Fargo in the winter. Y'all won't be cooped up in the same house together. Okay. Why the rush Carly? Why do you want to do that right now that's a good question well they so they're building and they would be putting their house on the market in the spring okay um so we just thought we would try to get our house sold just to get it you know so we have our money um to be able to take that amount off

of the $250,000. Well, sure, but why wouldn't you just do that in the spring, too? Do that in the spring? I mean, yeah. Why would you jump the gun, I guess? What's the rush? Yeah, what keeps you from wanting just to move in versus having your own house now

and you guys living and just saying, yeah, by March, we're going to make this transition together, right? They move out, to move in versus having your own house now and you guys living and just saying, yeah, by March, we're going to make this transition together, right? They move out, you move in. I guess I'm not sure. I guess we could wait. Yeah, I think on the, yeah. And I think Carly,

a lot of people have fear around the real estate market because it's like, oh my gosh, interest rates are up. Is there a bubble? What's going to happen? But I mean, for the most part, houses aren't getting cheaper. Right. So if anything, you'll probably even make possibly more money on your current home in six months than you even will now. But I would. Yeah. From a relational standpoint, it might be wise just to pump the brakes a little bit. You guys don't have this urgent decision that you have to make.

So moving in and making the timeframe, you know, overlap very small if needed. Because do they need any cash out of their house? Or I guess they're doing a construction loan? Yeah, so they would be using the loan money to be able to help build okay okay um carly how much for you and your family not your parents but you guys uh financially where are you at do you guys have debts do you have savings um so right now we have a car payment and then the house mortgage payment. How much do you owe on the car?

On the car, how much do you owe? How much? $477 a month. How much is the total loan, do you know? Do you know how much the total loan is? It's a lease. Okay. And when is it up?

In the next year. In the next year. Okay. How much do you guys make a year? We're making around $145,000 a year. Okay. Growth. Yeah, good for you guys okay um well yeah the the

lease is just do you guys have cash uh at all any savings in our savings we have about 14 000 okay okay um yeah i mean from a financial standpoint mean, the lease is the only, you know, somewhat debt that you're carrying. And you guys have a good emergency fund in place. So I would, I mean, just at this point, it's more the relational factor that kind of has us pausing and and probably our advice would be just to slow it down so there's not any messiness of moving in with parents and and all of that yeah here's what i would say and it's so easy to do handshake deals and hey we'll just take care of it and you've heard me say this a lot but we we think in pictures but we speak in words. And so when they say, hey, we'll take care of it, you might see free. And when they say, we'll take care of it, they might say, we're going to do the paperwork and give the $10,000 charge to you guys. And it's going to be awkward when you get an inspection done on their house to find out, hey, the roof has a leak in it or there's a problem with the sewer system or whatever. And it's going to be a challenge when they say, hey, how about you just pay us? You don't even have to get a loan. No, we're going to go through a bank. We're going to make this as clean as

possible because we want you to stay our parents. We want us to love each other. Yep. And that was our plan was to go through the bank to do the loan and everything like that. What I know about building is it never comes in on time. Yeah. And so I think an idea in Fargo, we're going to be done in the spring. The chances of it running to next fall are very high. Maybe not. So they have a cabin that they're going to be moving into. So it's

going to be a for sure, like March, April move out, whether or not the building is done or not, you know, they'll just be getting started. I think you can do something as simple as write up a personal contract in your home computer and hand it to your dad and say, I'm going to buy this house for this much. And we're going to close April, whatever, April 1st. Okay. And then you and your husband, now y'all have this much and we're going to close april whatever april 1st okay and then you and your husband now y'all have this much time to get your house sold get some cash saved up get that stupid lease out of your life or um figure out how you don't have to re-up it right and you can you have a long runway to get into this thing yeah and carly what's the what is the reason you're

choosing this house over something else i'm just curious over something else is that what you said yeah yeah um the location and the size of the house and um are they cutting you a deal on it the yeah they're cutting a deal too yeah so you guys wanted to upgrade anyways you wanted more square footage yeah our house right now is small so yeah we would so you you're gonna want to anyways okay perfect yep that's great so yeah um yeah everything john said i i totally agree with and i just want to make sure always with these family deals sometimes and carly that's why i asked that question here at the end is because it's like oh mom and dad are they're they're moving and the childhood home ever the whole family wants to keep it in the name and we'll be the ones that sacrifice and take this on to Or they want to sell it to us because they want

it to stay in the family. Yeah, or like there's some weird like strings and all that. So just making sure that you guys, as just you and your husband, Carly, and your family, that this is a move that you guys would have done anyways. Mom and dad are moving at the same time. That's great. We'll cut a great deal. We'll figure it out. Move forward. Just making sure there's no

weirdness of any pressure. Feeling like you guys have to make this move when you may not even want to. So thanks for the call. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. John, you've been hard at work, I would say, for a bit now because, well, you're always hard at work,

not just for a bit, but always. I'm glad. That felt so good. I'm glad you recognize. But the stuff you talk about, especially on your show, when you look in the lane

specifically with anxiety, with depression, all these things that are so intertwined that are continuing to increase, I mean, we all see the studies and the stats and everything coming out

that it just continues to be a problem. And so this is something, a subject that you've really honed in on and then in turn have written an entire book about. Right, and I've also experienced it in my own house, right? Yeah, yeah. And so I've been talking a lot about on the show, it's called Building a Non-Anxious Life. and we'll just keep talking about it by the way but listen um you know

those little blurbs on the back of the book of a book jacket where famous people tell you how great the book is right they all love it well team handed me this paper and as i started reading these i don't think these are real but here's what they wrote advanced praise for building a non-anxious life by dr john deloney jocko writes good book pro tip throw the dust jacket away so you never have to look at his face thanks jocko kelly daniels my producer says well well well we finally wrote something with that instead of twirling it between his fidgety little fingers. My gosh. Personality, Ken Coleman said, this book is 10 times better than all of my books combined. I sleep with an autographed copy on my bedside table. Dr. Delaney's my hero.

Thanks, Ken. Ken. That means the world. So gracious. Dr. Jordan Peterson writes, this book is an analog of the structure of existence itself. It puts you on the border of chaos. That was actually pretty funny. I think the team made those up. But listen, you can get the book right now. It's 20 bucks. And

we're going to throw a whole bunch of things at you to encourage you to get it early. It will be in your mailbox October 3rd when it releases. And if you wait till October 3rd, that's great too. It's going to be in all the stores and you can get it anywhere you buy books. But know this, I kept in mind all the latest neuroscience and nerd stuff. And I kept in mind all the professionals and practitioners that I talked to across the country, but I wrote it for you. If you are into the neuropathways and the way chemicals in your brain interact, this book probably is not for you. If you're interested in what can I do right now to help my kids? What can I do right now to help my house, my classroom, my workplace? With that person, you look in the mirror, I wrote this book for you. And it is simple. It's a path

towards a non-anxious life so that your body doesn't have to get your attention all the time with those alarms. So Rachel, that's what we're doing. Go to ramseysolutions.com, 20 bucks and get your copy now. It's so good. Because I feel like for some people, you know, they hear the word anxiety or I mean, like anything in that mental health space. And some people are very intrigued by it. And they're like, oh my gosh, I want to learn more. I want to know what's going on with me.

And then some people are like, ugh, like, no, that's not for me. That stuff, people get stuck in just the therapy loop of life and talk about feelings. And we like, we gotta get stuff done. You gotta move on. Like, there's like kind of that grit mentality almost. So just for just a second, talk about like, what is anxiety? If it's something that people, because you hear that word a lot, and there's some people that aren't going to go and dive in to it, even if maybe they have it, they don't even realize it. But you know, when you're talking about a non-anxious life, what would an anxious life be? So I used to be a hold the line nerd, if you will.

And I would push my nerd glasses up my nerd nose and say, hey, anxiety is actually a clinical term only for diagnostics and you have to be trained. And it's one of these things and it's in the DSM or the in the 10 codes and then I started acting like a human being and say everybody uses the word anxiety and it can mean burnout it can mean chronic stress it can mean I can't breathe when the husband walks in the door and I don't know why because I actually like that guy it can be your kid walks in and slams the door and just head straight to the room and you are just brush it off and say, oh, that's just teenagers. But you know, in your guts, something's wrong with that relationship. So that's the way we use it as in our culture. We just throw it all under.

I'm anxious. He's got anxiety. Right. So I just went with that this time and I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel. What I tell folks is the last study I looked at said 50% of the United States experiences some form of burnout, chronic stress, or anxiety, and the other half of America is married to them. So you can say this isn't you. I don't have nothing to do with this.

But it's your wife. Yeah. Or your husband. Yeah. It's your boss. It's your son. It's your daughter. It's your husband.

This is impacting you. It's your politician that's screaming their head off about it's all coming down when it probably isn't so this is a really important read and the world in my opinion doesn't need another clinical treaties it we need a what do i do right now yeah and um there is a time for counseling there is a time for medication you and i both see a counselor. We're pretty open about that. Both of our spouses see counselors. That's really important. But man, we have thrown a lot of counselors at the problem and a lot of medication at

the problem globally, and it is just continuing to escalate. And so this is, what can I do in my house right now? Yeah. And let's start there and made it as simple as possible and as tactile as possible. But anxiety, it's just your body trying to get your attention. It is a smoke alarm in your kitchen that something's on fire. It's not the problem. The problem is the fire.

And this book points you to the fires in your life and how to deal with them. Yeah. And in every area. Right. So, so good. So powerful. So you can go to ramseysolutions.com and pre-order Building a Non-Anxious Life today. Again, if you pre-orderorder you get a bunch of free

great stuff and uh it will be delivered in your mailbox october third awesome and for those of you um in that can be in the nashville area october 5th we are going to have a madhouse live event here on ramsay's ramsay's campus october 5th seven o'clock it is going to be wheels off we're going to have a book launch party. I'll be speaking. We'll have some guests show up. Don't miss it. You can get on ramseysolutions.com and check out tickets and all that. Get tickets there. Awesome. It's going to be fun. So great. All right. Up next, we have Casey in Fayetteville. Hey, Casey, welcome to the show. Hey there. Thank you so much for having me. I feel grateful. Oh, well, thanks for calling. How can we help?

Yeah. So, um, I am currently serving active duty in the army. Um, I actually just completed 10 years. Um, thank you Casey for your service. Oh, I appreciate that. Thank you. Um, unfortunately I've sustained some pretty significant injuries that is requiring me to be medically separated, hopefully medically retired, just depending on disability rating and all of that. My question to you is, the remaining debt that I have is $10,000 in student loans. And I'm kind of in a pickle where I have the money to pay them off right now. However, my situation is, if I get a high enough disability rating,

the VA takes care of those loans for you. Now I expect to be separated probably by next spring. My guess is March, April, just given how long these things take. Obviously with the, you know, interest rates kicking back in and payments, you know, starting back up in October, it's kind of made me sit down and think about this. Like, do I want to just go ahead and knock this out? I'm not growing this interest or come when I'm separated, you know, I have the high, like I do have a high enough disability rating to get those taken care of for me. And

so I'm just kind of in like a dilemma of how to go about this. Yeah. how much do you have in savings total um i have we have roughly about 25 000 in a high yield savings 5 000 in a cd and then i have 20 000 in a thrift savings plan that i just recently started uh for my retirement a thrift savings plan from your retirement yeah yeah so it's it's a it's a program that? Yeah. Yeah. So it's, it's a, it's a program that's in like the military. It's an account you can, you can set up at any time and you can put a certain percentage of your

paycheck towards it. Gotcha. Gotcha. You can put it into certain different funds. Okay, perfect. But that's more considered retirement, correct?

Yes. Yes. Okay. So for you guys, is there a chance that in March that they would come back and say no, that they wouldn't be able to take care of it because of the amount of disability that you're looking at? Yeah. I mean, it's definitely possible that I don't get a high enough rating and that's the thing. I don't know what my rating will be until it happens. So it's kind of like, you know,

I could hope for it and then it doesn't happen. And then I'm just stuck with that much more money. I owe, which I could pay for it, but it just seems silly. So yeah, for sure. Well, transitioning. Yeah. Yeah. Casey, I mean, if I were you today, I, I would just go pay it off and I would be, you know, detached from that loan and be done with it and continue to live my life. And you'll make different decisions, I think, between now and even spring, because you guys are debt free. So and again, they may come back and, you know, maybe you would have had to pay it off. But here's the deal, you have the money now. And for me, I'm like, as soon as possible that I can not have debt in my life. That's the route I'm going to choose. Nine months of sleep you could

pay for 10,000 bucks. That's right. So I'd pay it off, Casey. And thanks again for your service. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Dr. John Deloney taking your calls. And listen, you guys, if you are a new listener and you hear terms like the debt snowball or the baby steps or all this kind of like lingo around specifically money, and you're thinking, hey, I want to get on board because we have new people all the time, YouTube podcasts. I mean, there's so many of you guys that are just tuning in and seeing, hey, what can I do now to take control of my money? And you're listening to us. And so the best way to plug in and the best way to understand where you're at and what to do next is our Get Started

Guide. So if you go to ramseysolutions.com and you click on that, it's really going to help take what's in your head and what you're thinking and kind of figuring out and just put it right in front of you and to say, hey, here is your next step. So again, it's a button called Get Started, but really it's this kind of thing you fill out to really understand where you're at today and help you on your financial journey when it comes to Ramsey Solutions as we guide you and have some of these terms and all of that too. So go to ramseysolutions.com and click the Get Started button to figure out your next step in your financial journey. All right, up next, we have Jamie in Memphis. Hey, Jamie, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you so much for taking my call.

Absolutely. How can we help? So my husband and I, we have a blended family. We have four children. Two live with us and two live with their mother. We're communicating with our 16-year-old and her mother regarding her first car. We're trying to encourage a cash car, and we'll contribute to the purchase and possibly just buy the whole car if we can agree on the kind of car and everything. But her mother is suggesting financing a vehicle that's a bit more expensive and doesn't seem to have any insight into the Ramsey principles. Do you have any advice on how we should handle this situation? Yeah, don't let your kid get stuck in the middle of this.

I know that sounds so hard, but if... And that means what? Making the parents make the decision? That means if bio mom is... um makes it sound like she's a robot if biological mother is the where this kid lives and she wants to make a decision i think you sit down and say hey we don't believe in taking out loans in our house and you can look at our home and our home is is peaceful we've made these choices um and in no way are we going to disparage by our mom at all but this is the life we've chosen we're willing to give you a car that you won't owe any money on

you're not going to have any payments on because that's what we believe then you state your piece you put on the table what you're able to put on it and if she chooses to go with what her mother is telling her I would not roast her because she's caught in the middle of two different households with two different sets of values. Does that make sense? Yes, that makes perfect

sense. And I think that, I think, I think your promise to her is I'll sit with you when you're complaining about having to make this payment in two and a half years, or you have to sit out a semester of college because you can't, you have to pay this loan and you can't afford your tuition. I'll sit with you and I'll, I'll, I'll even pick up the breakfast tab while you're agonizing and complaining about it. But this is a choice you're making. And here we go. And here's this option right here. Well, I think her mother is suggesting taking on the payment herself. And we just don't think that that's a great idea. Of course, it's not necessarily our business to be in her finances. But again,

we would just prefer, I feel like this is a teachable moment for her because I didn't have the financial knowledge at that age that I wish I had. So yeah. It's a teachable moment, but also there's just something about a 16-year-old caught between two households. And if I don't do this, then I'm going to do this. My mom's going to feel like I'm doing this just for dad and my stepmom. And that means I'm being disloyal to it. I mean, you're asking a lot of a 16-year-old trapped between these two homes. And so it is a teachable moment.

But when you're in a split house like this, those teachable moments, I mean, they spread out over years. And I never want to sacrifice a relationship in this moment for two different values in a household, unless there's something about safety, right? Like I would probably dig my heels in on, bio mom wants to give my kid a smartphone, and I'm saying no, I'd probably throw a fit about that. Or my mom lets me drink at home and I'm only 14, I'd throw a fit about that. In terms of your mom wants to take out a loan, we don't think that's wise, but we know you love your mom. And here's what we're willing to do if you want to do that. And do your best not to throw this child's mother under the bus because this child will always look in the mirror and know half of me is her. And if she's dumb, if she's making bad choices, then that means I'm dumb. And that's a lot to put on a 16-year-old.

Right, right. I agree. Yeah. And Jamie, and I think your heart in those, what you call teachable moments, I think what John just said, I think that is one. And I think sitting down and being honest with your 16-year-old without, you know, running her mom into the ground by any means, but just to say, hey, here's what we've realized about money. Here's things that we've learned, and that could be everything from budgeting,

that could be whatever it is, and to say, we've just realized, here's what debt does to us. And as a family, we've realized, man, it puts stress on us. Even your husband saying, golly, I would lose sleep at night thinking about the bills that I had to be paid.

We've just realized life has so much more peace when there's not debt. So regardless of what happens with your mom and the car and all that, just know from us, from Jamie and her dad, like, this is where we stand and this is why we stand here. And we want to walk with you and be there for you. But from a wisdom perspective, when it comes to money, we believe that this is the best way to handle money. And there's a reason why. And Dave's talked about this in his personal life. And I love the story that he had a close buddy show up. And Dave's a car guy. And he had a close buddy show up with just a masterpiece of a car. And then he was bragging about it was his new lease. And his buddy's Dave Ramsey. And what did Dave do? He's like, let's go check out this car in my driveway.

I want to go see it. Dave didn't turn around and lecture him about it. So if your 16-year-old decides to get this new car that mom wants to buy and finance for her and pick up the payments on, and she brings that house, that car into your driveway, make the first thing you do not, well, is that about payments?

Say, hey, baby, show me your new car and run out and look at it and don't sacrifice relationship right now because this again she's caught in the middle let's lean on relationship whenever possible great thank you so much for your help you got it thanks for thanks for thinking through that that gets messy i know well and with that mentality of the of the kids that are stuck ping-ponging between right it is so easy to get caught in the middle and for parents how important is it to to protect your kids in that and to set them up well well and i can also see bio mom saying y'all aren't buying my daughter a car. Like that's my job and I don't have the money to do it.

So I'm going to do it like this. Or she's getting her esteem because her daughter's going to drive car X. There's so many variables here that that 16 year old has no business wading through. And I never, in a divorced household, I never want a kid to feel like I'm being disloyal to one parent, which they do. I'm never sacrificing my values. I just don't want them in that mess. And so the best adults can agree together, man, that's so good. And if they can't, let's figure out the path of least resistance there. Yep. So helpful. All right. Up next, we have Will in Atlanta. Hey, Will, welcome to the

show. We're up against the clock, man. Let's go quick. Hi. Okay, let me get right to my question. So at the end of every month, I have a little bit of space left in my budget. I just want to know what should I do with that little bit of space? Do you have debt right now? No, ma'am, no debt. No debt. Do you have an emergency fund? Yes, ma'am. Nice. So you're on babies that's four, five, and six. Are you funding retirement? I'm signing up for my four, five, and six. Are you funding retirement? I'm signing up for my fourth or three being next month. Oh, good for you. Do you have kids?

No. No. Do you have a house? I'm renting an apartment right now. Good. Okay. That's awesome, Will. I think you put it in an envelope and send it to Attention Rachel Cruz at the Rent a Solution building. I'll take that extra cash. She's got a car fund she's trying to put money into.

So yeah, Will, at this point, how much did you say you have extra per month? Usually comes out to about like 60 bucks at the end of the month. Okay. I spend $5 less than I allocate for groceries every week or something like that. Oh, good for you.

Down to the penny. That's awesome. Will! So, Will, I mean... Incredible. Will, I mean, honestly, I mean, the 60, I would say, yeah, if there's a little bit, if you want to up your out to eat by some, you know, you can, you're to the point that you are, you're funding retirement. You don't have a mortgage right now. So the next big thing that you'd save for is probably a house. So if that is something you want to look into and say, hey, I'm going to put some of this money away in a high

yield savings and I'm just going to be diligent with it. That's great. But it's 60 bucks. It's not a ton of money. Yeah. So it's not 600 a month, you know, which, you know, you would look at and say, okay, what are we going to do? So I would, you could up your lifestyle up a little bit, Will, if you want. Enjoy a little bit of that 60. Or I've heard people say you get wealthy $10 at a time.

So put it in a high yield savings account. Put it away. So either way, but you're doing great. Nothing major on fire right now, Will. Well done. Well done. Well, that wraps up the show. Thanks to all the guys in the booth.

John, thank you for hosting. Thank you, America, for listening. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Rachel Cruz. If you love the show and want a deeper dive on your money journey, we have a weekly newsletter that gives you trending and helpful articles and tips on following the Ramsey way. Just go to ramseysolutions.com today to sign up for our newsletter.

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