The Ramsey Show - App - Don't Listen to the Messages That Say You're a Loser! (Hour 3)
Episode Date: February 2, 2021Debt, Relationships, Investing, Savings, Insurance, Home Selling Sign Up for a FREE trial of Ramsey+ TODAY: https://bit.ly/31ricKt Tools to get you started: Debt Calculator: https://bit.ly/2...QIoSPV Insurance Coverage Checkup: https://bit.ly/2BrqEuo Complete Guide to Budgeting: https://bit.ly/2QEyonc Check out more Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/2JgzaQR
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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios,
it's the Dave Ramsey Show.
Where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice.
I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney.
Ramsey personality, best-selling author, is my co-host as we take your calls about, well, your life and your money.
So Dr. John's here, which means we can talk about your life in any way you want to, having to do with your boundaries with your family or anything going on mental health-wise.
We're here to help.
And, of course, all the stuff about your money and how those two things interact is somewhat hilarious.
So 888-825-5225. So, 888-825-5225.
That's 888-825-5225.
David is in Tucson, Arizona.
Hi, David.
How are you?
Hello, David, Dr. John.
I appreciate your taking my call.
Our pleasure.
I don't know if you've noticed, but some of your principles differ a little bit from conventional advice.
Stop it, David.
Crazy.
I love it.
My questions are about investment, Nick.
You talk about growth, aggressive growth, growth in income, and international,
and some of those aren't the terms many others use,
so I was hoping you could characterize those a little for me.
But the big question is, it's all stock, nothing else mixed with it.
How does that change related to age and goals, and particularly as you're starting to get closer to retirement?
Yeah, really, really good question.
And you're right, none of those things line up with conventional wisdom it does mostly it's about
a 90 overlap but there's enough nuanced that I don't agree with with traditional financial
planning theory that they all stay pissed off at me all the time and write write nasty blogs
and stuff but anyway so let's go back to the first question. An aggressive growth fund is also called a small cap.
Cap means capitalization in the financial world, so a small company fund.
Okay?
And that's your startup companies, your tech companies, volatile, wild.
That's the aggressive growth stock mutual fund.
Okay?
Sometimes they call it an emerging market fund too.
Okay.
So that's the aggressive.
The international obviously means overseas stocks or foreign stocks.
And sometimes you'll see it called that.
It has a kissing cousin called a global fund.
And so if you think about the whole globe, like he's got the whole world in it.
So it's the globe, okay?
The whole globe, right?
And so that means it's got U.S. stocks in it, too.
It's not just overseas or not just international.
A pure international has no U.S. in it, no American companies in it.
And so the global funds typically outperform the international funds
because American stocks typically outperform the rest of the world, by and large, as a whole.
Okay?
Now, then a growth fund is also called, you know, it's just a middle of the road.
An index fund, an S&P 500 fund would qualify as a growth fund.
But it's just a company that it's a mutual fund that has stocks in it that are growing.
So it's kind of mid-range, mid-cap fund it's also called.
The growth and income will have a few bonds in it a lot of times, but it's mainly huge companies.
So sometimes it's called a blue chip fund or a large cap fund, the other end of the spectrum from the small cap.
So this is Alcoa Aluminum General Motors.
Boring, most of the time, compared to a little startup company on the other end of the spectrum
that's going zoom, zoom or not, and back and forth and very volatile and all over the map.
So that's the mix that we recommend.
Then, and that's a question that's an answer that's great for the whole audience to hear.
That's why I'm taking a little extra time with it.
Then the second part of your question is the allocation theory,
which is that as you get older, you should move from equities or stock-type mutual funds
towards bonds and money markets
to get safer and safer as you move towards retirement.
And that's the theory of financial planning I don't agree with.
And I'll give you my basis for my disagreement.
Okay?
It's called common sense.
So here's the thing.
So if you get to retirement and you have half a million, million and a half in your 401k, something like that, even $300,000, you're likely at 65 never going to touch the principal.
You're going to only live off of the income that it creates, you know, unless you just want to drain the account down.
Now, if you want to drain the account down, then you can change your allocations based
on the fact that you're going to use the money.
But if you are 65 years old at retirement and you are healthy, statistically, the average
death age of a male in America is 74, of a female is 76 right now.
However, if you make it to 65 and you're healthy statistically you're going to make it to 90
so you have 25 freaking years in order to outpace inflation and so if you follow these stupid
allocation theory and you move all your money into underperforming items that are safe quote
unquote safer then you're going to make no money for 25 years, and inflation is going to kick your butt.
And so I'm 60, and I'm 100% invested in the four types I talked about as far as the stock market goes.
I don't have any bonds other than if they summon my growth and income funds.
There might be some bonds in that.
But I don't buy bonds.
I'm not moving towards stocks because I'm decrepit and old at 60 years old.
No, I got 30 freaking years.
It's like talking to a 30-year-old and saying, oh, be conservative because you're going to be 60.
It's the same 30 years from 30 to 60 as it is from 60 to 90.
The only difference is that everybody freaks out and says, oh, my God, you're old.
So you have to get really super safe now, drop all of your performance down to nothing,
and let inflation be higher than the performance of your portfolio,
and kick your butt.
It's absolutely asinine.
It's an asinine theory.
But the financial planning communities block a bunch of lemmings sometimes,
and they just follow each other off the cliff.
Whatever one of them says do, they all go do,
and no one stops to question that the emperor has no clothes except me.
And then, of course, I have blogs written to question that the emperor has no clothes except me and
then of course i have blogs written because i said the emperor is butt naked so uh it's a bad idea
it's a bad idea now if you've got money that you want to access and you're going to tear the
principal down in the next five years then yes get more conservative and move out of equities
but if you're going to live off of the goose you want to keep that goose
good and fat and let it keep growing and outpacing inflation and that is what i'm doing uh which um
you know and that's more than many financial advisors can say yeah yeah i can't tell you how
many financial advisors dave i've sat with and said i want you to give me the exact portfolio breakdown that you have for your family.
And the response is almost universally, well, you know, see, what we're doing here is this.
Nope.
Whatever you're doing with your family is what I want to do in my house.
I've never told somebody to do something in 30 years of doing this that I don't do.
I never asked somebody to live debt-free, and then I was borrowing money. I don't have a super-secret double-backflip family partnership limited thing that's a trick.
The secrets of the rich that nobody knows about.
Nope.
Just got real estate.
No debt.
That's boring, Dan.
Money and mutual funds.
Just zero sex appeal.
Pretty comfortable with that.
Pretty comfortable with that. Pretty comfortable with that.
That's the new t-shirt.
Dave Ramsey, zero sex appeal.
And I'm good with that.
Several hundred million dollars.
I'm good with that.
I'm all good.
Pretty good with that.
So that's the thing, man.
Are you going to outpace inflation?
And that's where the theory breaks down.
This is the Dave Ramsey Show.
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Mark is in Providence.
Hey, Mark, welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.
Hi, Dave. How are you?
Better than I deserve.
What's up?
I have a question.
What are your thoughts about investing with family members, my siblings, there's seven of us, in a plot of land?
You do not own the land.
The family doesn't own the land.
And all seven of you are going to go together as partners to buy a piece of land.
That's the idea,
yes.
It sounds like seven opportunities to be angry.
That's what I thought.
Yeah, I can't say no fast enough or loud enough to this.
Tell your family you love them so much
you can't let everybody do this.
Just asking for a mess.
I mean, if it was just you and one
sibling, it would be fraught with
danger. With seven, you can virtually
guarantee it, can't you?
Maybe.
I don't know.
Yes, I can.
Can guarantee it. What are
seven people going to do with this land?
It's more for maybe recreational purposes and if possible if a long term would be a long term uh maybe uh developing purposes
so let me tell you what happens it's called the d's okay the d's will kill you. Let me give you some of the D's. Drug use. Divorce.
Disability.
Death.
Disinterest.
Default.
I don't do my part.
Dummies.
Dummies. I'm just trying to help, man.
I don't know.
Dogs.
These things, these D's will destroy this and destroy your little plan and your nirvana
that you've got in your head
that this is going to be i you're asking what i think i wouldn't do it and uh i would recommend
that you not do it as strongly as i possibly can i've i've hunted on shared hunted land before
and inevitably somebody's brother-in-law has a friend who says, hey, nobody uses this place
on Tuesdays.
It's cool, man.
And then they go and-
And you get shot at.
Well, they do something stupid, and then it turns into a thing, into a thing, and who
took out the this and didn't air up the that?
It's just a mess.
And everybody's got good intentions on the front end of it.
It makes sense.
It's going to bring us together.
We're going to have this thing in our family line forever until one person's going to build on it and then they're going to get a
coalition and they're not going to let it just as a mess you know junior wants to sell his part out
yeah i'm done i need the cash and and sister gets a divorce and now you're now your partner's with
her ex right because the because the judge gave him your portion yep and you bought your brothers
and your sister just gave you hers and and now you're going to war.
And it's just not worth it.
This is the stuff I've heard for 30 years.
That's why we have public parks.
Go recreate there.
Yeah.
They're fun.
Or buy your own little track of land.
Yeah.
Oh, there's an idea.
Drake is with us in Columbia, South Carolina.
Hi, Drake.
How are you?
Hey, I'm doing well. How are you? Hey, I'm doing well.
How are you?
Better than I deserve.
How can I help?
So I'm a 16-year-old.
I'm still in high school, obviously.
I have about $3,000 saved up.
I just got my first car for about $500.
It's worth about $4,000.
My mom, Frank, gave me a very generous discount.
Very cool.
And I'm taking dual enrollment courses through
my local technical school, and I should finish my associate's degree in computer
science before I graduate high school. Yeah, way to go, man.
Thanks. I was just wondering what my next step should be,
because I know I don't really have a consistent income right now. I do have a job,
but as far as the baby steps go, what should I be focusing on,
or should I just be educating myself in general?
Well, you are way ahead of the game, young sir.
You're on fire.
You've obviously got a game plan overall.
What we teach folks is, even if you're super excelling like you are
while in high school and while living at home,
is the baby steps really don't apply. is even if you're super excelling like you are while in high school and while living at home,
is the baby steps really don't apply.
Except, you know, we teach teenagers in the high school curriculum to have a $500 emergency fund to still be on a budget, and they've got some steps that we use in the high school curriculum,
but we don't, the actual baby steps we talk about here on this show
wouldn't apply until you're ready to take a job and leave home.
And that may be after you graduate that you want to go in the technical world.
And so you go straight out of high school with your associate's degree into technical world.
And so you may be, you know, 18, 19 years old on your own and doing your thing.
And then you'd work your baby steps at that point.
But as far as our plan goes, that's what I would do.
But, man, he's on fire yeah
one thing dave challenged me on this i always want 16 year olds to remember to be 16 too
i want kids to remember to enjoy their life if if it's a life worth enjoying if you've got friends
you can hang out with and throw a ball with or um there's a almost a barbell i'm seeing with kids
who just have cashed out already 16 it's like
the life's going to be over it is what it is then there's another crew that are just so focused on
what tomorrow is going to look like in the next day in the next day and then what's next what's
next you just forget to be present and just enjoy being 17 right well yeah hyper performance on
goals that on overachachieving goals early.
And to the point you don't even carved out room for now.
That's exactly right.
Yeah.
I'm not challenging on that.
I like that.
I agree with that.
There's something about.
I mean, I worked my butt off when I was in high school.
I did.
Because I liked making money.
I did too.
And I would just, I would, because I wanted to buy something.
Yeah.
And, but also, you know, had all the high school experiences as well.
Some of those I wish I could have back.
I wasn't going to say that.
They're not great. Thank you for that.
They're not great.
Not all of those I'm proud of.
That's right.
As a matter of fact, a lot of them I'm not.
But there's something about being 17 and hanging out, go to the lake, go fishing,
go do some stuff that are fun, man, because the responsibilities,
once they hit you, man, they don't ever stop.
And at the same time, man, you are a great influence.
I'm glad you're growing up to lead the world that my kids are going to grow up into
because we need more hearts and minds like yours, Drake.
You're killing it, dude.
It's awesome.
Very well done.
Washington, D.C., Jeff's calling.
Hi, Jeff.
How are you?
Hey, thanks for having me on the program, Dr. Leroy.
Thank you.
Sure.
How can we help?
So I'm new, a new listener.
I kind of found you guys yesterday.
A friend pointed me in the direction when I was complaining about debt and being in debt.
And he said, you sound like that guy Dave Ramsey.
And I said, ah, is that the guy at your wedding?
I didn't like him.
He said, no, no, he's a radio host.
The other Dave.
Yeah, the other Dave. So here I am. The other Dave. Yeah, the other Dave.
So here I am calling the other Dave and looking for a little advice there.
So I bought a house, and then I moved.
And when I moved back to the area, I love my tenant so much that I bought another house, which is probably stupid.
And then I thought I was moving. So I rented that house out and now I'm living in an apartment with two houses and $400,000 in debt.
I don't really know what to do.
Why don't you sell them?
Yeah.
That's kind of what I was calling to check and see if that's the right thing to do.
I just couldn't know.
None of this, what you described to me happened by default, not by plan.
Yes.
These houses are like left over from plan changes.
They weren't caused by, I plan to live, have two rentals and live in an apartment.
So you ended up with them by accident, so get rid of them on purpose.
That's what I would do if I woke up in your shoes.
I like rentals.
I mean, I own a bunch of real estate.
I want you to have that if you want to own it someday.
But I think these two things own you right now.
Taking up way too much of your headspace and way too much of your money,
and you're really not making that much on them.
You ain't getting equity.
So if I'm in your shoes, I'm dumping both of them.
Start my life fresh.
Clean slate, baby.
Whiteboard.
Here we go.
Game on.
This is the Dave Ramsey Show. МУЗЫКАЛЬНАЯ ЗАСТАВКА
МУЗЫКАЛЬНАЯ ЗАСТАВКА Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.
Open phones at 888-825-5225.
You jump in, we'll talk about your life and your money.
Laura is with us.
Laura is in New York City,
and it says on my screen,
Ms. Laura, you're debt-free.
Congratulations.
Yes, sir.
Way to go.
How much have you paid off?
$34,732 in five months.
Wow.
And your range of income during that time?
My base salary as a teacher is $65,000, but I was able to kick it up to $110,000 with a whole bunch of side hustles.
Good for you.
What kind of debt was the $35,000?
Well, very normal.
Loans.
I had a leased car.
I had cell phone bills, you know, a little bit of everything.
So you were just like a normal person.
Broke. Absolutely.
Broke.
Yeah.
Way to go.
So what happened five months ago that lit you on fire?
Well, it was, I actually found your program March 6th, 2020, and had a nice, even plan
to pay everything off by 2022, paying minimum on things doing extra stuff you know i wasn't
ready to go gazelle and well you know what happened um march 12th i heard there was a pandemic hey we
we were hey laura me and dave were there we were in manhattan when it looked like a zombie movie
we were we were in manhattan doing a press event, and they shut New York down. It was like a fictional movie or something.
I'll never forget that as long as I live.
Like a zombie apocalypse.
You might have heard. Just a minor inconvenience.
Yeah.
Name's Cuomo.
Oh, my God. It was unbelievable.
Yeah.
So then you got your face slammed in the pavement.
Then what'd you do?
Well, I stood back up, and I said, well, all of the things I had relied upon were not guaranteed,
so I needed another way.
And your plan was the way, and a lot of DoorDash and Instacart was the way.
I worked about 70 hours a week every single day.
I traded in my leased car for a cash Civic, and I'm super proud of it now.
I love this girl.
I know.
How old are you?
I'm 32.
You are awesome.
Hold on.
You weren't just door dashing and all those things on top of a regular job.
You were doing it on top of a teacher's job, which is go to school, stay at home, put this on Zoom. Everybody
take it off. We're just going to mail our things.
I talk
to teachers every day,
literally, where they just are breaking down
into tears, collapsing.
I can't do it anymore. And then you would get
off the last Zoom call, that last
little kid, and then you'd go hit the streets to
make more money.
How did you do that a coping
mechanism ah there you go okay yeah work is a coping work therapy i like it i'll go with work
better than work therapy is better than retail therapy yes it creates income rather than outcome
i'm gonna tell rachel cruz that it's right yeah for sure i'm so proud of you laura well done laura so when your friends go oh my gosh girl you
doubled your income in a pandemic and got out of debt in five months because you went bananas
have you lost your mind what do you tell them the the absolute must do to get out of debt is what
is it you got to do what are the things you have to do to get out of debt wow um don't listen to anyone that says you can't boom there's a lot of messaging in our
society a lot of millennials feel like we'll never retire or buy a house and in a year i've learned i
can do that and will do that who are you more than that i'm gonna hire you hey will you run for president in 24 goodness no
wow that's amazing don't listen to the messages from the culture that says you're a loser
that says you can't yeah yeah so who do you teach um i teach biddle and high school students music
good i'm glad you're out there spreading positivity and amen.
Man, I'm so happy you're there.
So proud of you.
How does it feel now that you're free?
It feels lighter, and actually yesterday, Dave, I just filed my taxes and filled up my emergency fund.
Yay!
So cool, man.
Yay!
Yay!
Who was your biggest cheerleader?
I have a few.
Pastor Dan Barton was my financial peace coordinator.
He's amazing.
He's out in Arizona, really dedicated to the program.
Fantastic man.
Amy Green is a financial peace coach, and I spoke with her over the summer as well.
She's wonderful um and
you know my family and my boyfriend yeah and your family and your boyfriend everybody cheering you
on and yet there are the negative messages and voices out there that you just have to tune out
and you did it you did it you did it you did it you did it did you ever i mean yeah i mean when you started you it's so funny that you started kind
of ish and then like the pandemic is what fired you up yeah so instead of putting it down the
challenge caused you to rise up absolutely yeah that's just the way you're that's the way you're
put together kiddo man you're amazing hey laura I'm laughing and cheering you on. I'm kind of glossing over it.
It was downright scary when you
experienced this, wasn't it?
We were there in New York. It was scary.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, we were like, we've got to get to the airport
and get out of here. These people have lost their ever-loving.
Yeah, it was scary.
Put the listener
who's driving their car right now,
they are doing another load of laundry with earbuds in, and they're exhausted, and they don't see life in the tunnel.
You were at, literally, at ground zero of this thing as it spread throughout the United States.
What would you tell that person who's terrified and scared and exhausted?
Everything seems darker when you can only see a foot in front of you,
but you can trust in yourself and in God if you believe in God
and in the people around you,
and there's a light at the end that you can't even see.
You don't even know.
Yeah, it's there, and it's not a train.
Just keep walking. Keep walking.
Yeah.
Right?
It's not a train.
Good for you.
We got a copy of Chris Hogan's book
for you,
Everyday Millionaires.
There's not a question
that that's a chapter
in your story coming up.
You're an amazing young woman.
I'm so proud of you.
Very, very well done.
All right.
It's Laura from New York City.
$35,000 paid off
and get this,
five months.
Wow.
Five months.
As a teacher.
She got rid of her lease car she's driving a
paid for civic she's door dashing she's instagramming she's a freaking rock star 65 000 almost doubled
her income up to 110 with the side hustles she kicks butt and takes names in a city they're not
even allowed to work in and she did anyway because somebody's got to deliver the freaking food
and take care of those kids. Way to go, Laura.
Count it down.
Let's hear a debt-free scream.
Three, two, one.
I'm debt-free!
Wow!
What a hero.
Dude, Dave, yesterday me and my wife sat down and we came up with our schedule for knocking our mortgage out.
And this person just poured some gasoline on that fire, man.
You're just going to go home and up the schedule.
Dude, I mean, how are you going to have any excuse after listening to that?
You know, but you know what she did?
You got nothing.
She's got a lease car she can't afford. You know what she did? She didn't. She's got a lease car she can't afford.
You know what she did?
She didn't freaking hesitate.
She got rid of it.
She axed that thing.
Yes.
Got a used Civic.
You know what she did with the Civic?
DoorDash.
Yep.
You know what she did with the Civic?
Instacart.
Yep.
You know what she did?
She showed up and taught anyway.
You want to know what misery is?
It's teaching middle school kids online music lessons.
You think your job's bad.
Try doing all day.
Just try teaching middle school students, period.
Middle school music online.
And then going, all right, now it's time to really get after it.
After hours.
And then you get up the next day.
All right, Timmy, get out the vial.
Freaking Lynn. Here we go again. And then you door dash. and then you get up the next day all right timmy get out the vial freaking lynn here we go again and then you door dash and then you go again laura what a stud man man and this is amazing this is dave my mind's blown because you're not even allowed to work
in new york and she didn't listen to the negativity i know door dash and instacart
are there those those are essential jobs i'm so so proud of her. Don't get me started.
What a stud.
Man, she figured out a way.
What a stud.
I'm not going to live my life in fear.
I'm not going to live my life being told.
I'm not going to believe the messages.
I'm not going to believe the messages.
I don't like normal.
Normal sucks.
I don't want to be normal anymore.
She just declared it.
Five months.
Boom.
Over.
Love it.
This is the Daveave ramsey show Our scripture of the day, 2 Peter 1.21,
For no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man,
but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.
Abraham Lincoln said,
Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.
I like that. That's good.
Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.
Open phones at 888-825-5225.
Dr. Deloney and Rachel Cruz will be doing a Money and Marriage live event, live streamed on February the 12th at 7 p.m.
It is our Valentine's event, February the 12th.
You can get tickets, of course, at DaveRamsey.com slash event.
Be sure and check them out.
They're only $20.
So you ought to make sure you make sure. Dave, today it's going to be awesome that you're ready I mean that's like a week from Friday right it's going to be good yeah I would I would take my wife
on a date to this event which means we just go sit on the couch and turn the TV on and we we get
some food and it's it's going to be an awesome event I'm looking forward to it there goes the
live stream love it all right Annie's with us in Concord, New Hampshire.
Hi, Annie.
Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.
Hey, thanks for taking my call.
Sure.
My husband and I are thinking of leaving the East Coast and moving on to my family's ranch in Montana.
Cool.
And we're wondering if we should sell our house here in New Hampshire or if we rent it.
No, you sell it.
You sell it. Yes. Because we'd be 100% debt 100 debt free but we'd be living in an rv on land we don't own it's okay sell it
sell it yeah okay and then develop develop a plan where you're not living in an rv
long term on land that you don't own well that's a another call that you don't have time for right
now okay i mean you need to develop a plan that does that because you don't own. Well, that's another call that you don't have time for right now. Yeah, okay.
I mean, you need to develop a plan that does that,
because that's an okay short-term thing,
but you don't want to be 10 years later still living in a van down by the river.
I mean, that's not a plan.
But you don't want a long-distance landlord from Montana to New Hampshire.
That's a good way to have somebody change their Harley oil in your living room.
Well, I'm eventually going to be inheriting the land.
Okay.
That's fine.
But you're not coming back to New Hampshire and you're not going to long distance landlord.
If you were living in Montana, you would never go, hey, let's buy rental property in New
Hampshire.
No, you'd never do that.
That's not a good plan.
I think that's the first time in the human language that sentence has been uttered.
You know what, honey?
Now that we're in Montana, let's buy some rental property.
Let's buy some rental property over in New Hampshire.
One county over.
John's in Pensacola.
Hey, John, how are you?
Good, Dave.
How are you doing?
Better than I deserve.
How can we help?
So let's do the situation real quick so we can run a bio test.
So my mom is 65.
My dad passed away about five years ago from cancer,
and my mom is living off of Social Security,
a little bit of what he got from the Navy for retirement,
and then a smaller retirement from his civilian job.
She still has a mortgage on her home.
I don't know the exact amount.
I think it's roughly like $120,000, $130,000.
And her house was in need of pretty serious repairs.
He
didn't have any life insurance?
So, he did have life insurance.
This is where one of the big issues comes in.
Mom, she had about $300,000
when he first died, minus
funeral costs and stuff.
That is all gone now
through just buying random things she didn't need.
She bought a brand new car, and admittedly she gave it to some of the family members,
which now I look back and wish I had never accepted it,
but I was younger and not as wise with my money.
So it's just my sister and I, and I'm trying to figure out how to help her.
The problem is that she
doesn't like to talk about it she doesn't want
our help basically but she
needs it I guess is what I'm trying to say
man I
when you say she
doesn't want your help
when you're talking about your
adult parent this is hard to hear but she doesn't want your help. When you're talking about your adult parent, this is hard to hear, but she doesn't want your help.
Yeah.
Have you sat down and tried to have a pointed conversation with her,
or is it the normal kind of a passive-aggressive kind of walking through the kitchen-y kind of things?
Have you sat her down and said, hey, Mom, we need to do some math on this?
Yeah. well, so
currently, my wife and I live in
Pensacola. I'm in the Navy. We're from Virginia,
so my mom lives in Virginia Beach, and my sister is
still with her.
So my sister deals with her directly
more than I do, obviously.
I have tried to talk
to her about it vaguely, and
she, I don't want to say
she gets angry, but she she you know she it's
it's almost that attitude of like well you know you're my child right you know you should listen
to me about stuff and not the other way around yeah so here's the deal man at some point if i'm
you i'm just gonna tell you what i would do i would wait till i have a break and i would let
my mom know hey when we come into town we're to have this conversation. And I feel like I need to get all of our ducks in a row and I want to make sure
that I can best help you and be a good son. And she may say, go jump in a lake, at which point
I wouldn't recommend you doing that. But at the end, she's telling you we're done with the
conversation. You can then have a conversation with your sister, and you all make plans on how you're going to proceed,
if and when mom needs additional assistance and support.
But the hard part is, man, is your mom's an adult,
and she gets to make adult decisions.
Yeah.
It's hard.
It's just not against the law to be stupid.
Yeah.
So here's my hypothetical.
If she did accept the help, what would you, in that situation, what would you recommend that we do? She doesn't have any savings at all right now. she makes and makes wise money decisions, including starting to save. We'll teach her and show her how.
As a matter of fact, your family can go through it together.
We'll pay for all of it if you want to and if you can get her to do it.
And, you know, what you might do is say, hey, Mom, I'm going through this class on how to
handle money, and I want you to go through with me.
Okay.
I really appreciate it, Dave.
There's so many things I didn't, that when Dad passed away, I didn't even know.
I'm learning all this new stuff. I'd love for you to learn it with me yeah one thing you can always do
is it's easier to tell your story the things you're doing and the experiences you're having
than it is to wag your finger at somebody else and tell them what they shouldn't be doing
and just be going mom i'm so i feel so good right. We're on a budget. We're getting out of debt. I feel in control.
I felt stupid, and I felt insecure, and I felt weird and everything else.
And, man, I've got to tell you, and I want you to go through this class with me.
I've got it set up so you can go through it free,
and so you can start learning some of this stuff because, man, it's changing my life.
And, Mom, you're so stupid, and you burned through $300,000.
You need a class.
Yeah, I did that.
That's right.
You know, that's not going to work because she is going to go,
I powdered your butt, and I really don't need your opinion.
That's right.
The powdered butt syndrome kicks into gear.
Bridget is with us.
Bridget's in Savannah, Georgia.
Bridget, I'm short on time.
Go straight to your question.
Okay, Dave, we're at the point now where we're only owing about $20,000 on our house,
and we just sold a property, and it brought in $35,000.
However, recently, right across the street from us because we're out kind of rural,
the guy just started bringing in a bunch of old mobile homes,
and we're not in a position to sell, I mean, to move or anything.
Do we just pay it on off, and what do we do at this point? Why are you not in a position to move or anything do we just pay it on off and what do we do at this point
why are you not in a position to have any other debt
well my husband lost his job with the whole covid situation and he just got a job like two weeks
ago yeah but i mean you've got a paid for house what would the property bring if you sold it
well it was valued at 210 why can't you take
210 000 and go buy something else we got two kids with cash flowing in college so it's kind of what's
that got to do with it started later you got 210 000 in your hand because you just sold your house
why can you not go buy another house with that well i guess we could then i just didn't know what to do without talking today
yeah well i mean i'm not telling you you got to move but if the trailers are going to muck up
everything across the street you got to get out of there right right right you don't want to live
in the middle of that all right is is the neighbor somebody you can pay that off it doesn't matter
because you're getting ready to sell it. Yeah. Okay.
Is the neighbor somebody you can have a conversation with?
Well, I'm not really sure.
He's from Florida.
And so we all live on like five or six acres apiece out here.
Yep.
And so he just came in and purchased and started bringing in mobile homes out here.
Yeah, I live in a similar situation.
And I've got a couple of neighbors I can talk to and a couple
that I can't, and if it's somebody
you can go knock on their door and just get to meet them
and see how they're doing, it may be a great conversation
to have before you go run and sell your house.
Yeah. I mean, he might
be parking them there for two months and then going to move them back
out. That's right. You probably ought to find out
the details of what's happening. That's not a
bad plan, but bottom line is,
nobody said you've got to stay. If the neighborhood's But bottom line is, nobody said you got to stay.
If the neighborhood's going to go bad, you don't want to stay. That puts this hour of the Dave
Ramsey Show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember,
there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace,
Christ Jesus. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show.
Once again, you made The Dave Ramsey Show one of the top four most popular podcasts last year.
To get your daily dose of motivation and inspiration from the Ramsey Network, subscribe or follow today wherever you listen to podcasts.