The Ramsey Show - App - Don't Participate in Your Family's Crazy! (Hour 3)
Episode Date: November 4, 2019Debt, Insurance, Home Buying Tools to get you started: Debt Calculator: http://bit.ly/2QIoSPV Insurance Coverage Checkup: http://bit.ly/2BrqEuo Complete Guide to Budgeting: http://bit.ly/2...QEyonc Interview Guide: http://bit.ly/2BuGnZE Check out other podcasts in the Ramsey Network: http://bit.ly/2JgzaQR
Transcript
Discussion (0)
🎵
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios,
it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king,
and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice.
I'm Dave Ramsey, your host.
Thank you for joining us.
Open phones at 888-825-5225.
That's 888-825-5225. Starting off this hour is going to be Alicia in North Carolina. Hi,
Alicia. How are you? Hi, Dave. Good. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up?
Not much. I have a situation I'm hoping you can settle a dispute between me and my husband.
Okay.
So he has recently started going to the gym and is very passionate about what he does,
but he's eating me out of house and home.
So we're in baby step one, and I'm just trying to rationalize
or have you tell me if I'm being crazy or not should I
I mean should he cut his supplements and his weekly spending to help us fund our emergency
fund or that may be into irrational what is your household income so gross is about 74,000 a year
and what is he spending on the gym and on supplements?
So, it's $600 between his food for the week and supplements for the month, and then a $39 gym membership.
Food for the week?
Yes. So, that's $100 every week.
Every day.
That's $100 per week.
Oh, no.
Right, every day. $100 a day, week. Oh, no. Right, every day.
$100 a day, right?
No, no, no.
I'm sorry.
$600 a week is $100 a day.
It's $400 a month just for his food per week.
Does that make sense?
No.
It's either per month or per week.
It can't be per month, per week. It's either per month or per week. It can't be per month, per week.
It's $400 in groceries per month and then $200 in supplements per month.
Okay.
Well, he's going to eat $400 in groceries a month anyway.
Most humans do.
Okay.
What do you eat?
The additional for me and my daughter is $200 in addition to his stuff.
How old is your daughter?
She's two.
Okay.
She doesn't eat much.
All right.
Not a lot.
So, yeah.
I mean, a normal grocery budget in North Carolina would be $500 to $800 a month.
Okay.
For the groceries.
And if you guys want to trim that back, that's fine.
We can talk that through.
The gym is $39.
That's not killing you.
The supplements probably are high.
Right.
That's probably, you know, how long has he been a workout fiend?
This is going on his third month.
Third month?
Correct.
Okay.
Is he trying to lose weight, or what's his goal?
His goal is to compete in a bodybuilding competition.
Starting from scratch three months ago.
Right.
So he's had some history off and on, but he's really been dedicated the last three months.
I see.
Okay.
And how much debt do you guys have?
We are about $62,000
in debt. Okay. And how much do you owe on your
cars? About $40,000 or that.
And on which cars?
$29, 29 on mine and roughly just under 10 on his.
Okay.
So if you're keeping a $29,000 car, which represents half of your debt load when you make $75,000 a year,
I think that's a bigger deal than supplements.
Absolutely.
Okay. supplements absolutely okay so um the what i'm hearing here is is you guys are just getting
started on the whole budgeting thing and you haven't yet um both agreed that the big goal
in the house is getting rid of this debt you're not on the same page right and that's leading to
the disagreement see when when when we both agree
that this is what we're trying to do then we start looking at 29 000 cars and is there another way to
do supplements where i can still hit my goal on my bodybuilding or do i need to put it off for a
few months and then get started again um you know uh you start to say i'm going to set aside
things that i used to thought think were necessary in order to hit our big goal of getting out of debt.
You guys are not doing that yet.
If you can get agreement on that, it's going to solve a lot of these things.
But I don't think you're going to win a $200 supplement battle while you're driving a $29,000 car.
Matter of fact, I'm sure you're not.
So, yeah, I think the car is a lot bigger problem than the supplements,
if I'm in your all shoes.
Hey, thanks for the call.
Kayla is with us.
Kayla's in Wisconsin.
Hi, Kayla.
How are you?
Hi, Dave.
Thanks for taking my call.
Sure.
What's up?
Well, my family and I are on baby step two right now.
We are working on paying off our debt.
Go ahead.
But we recently moved to an area where I have the ability to start a residential cleaning small business,
like going to business for myself.
I, of course, would want to cash flow this, and I think I would need about $1,000 to do it really well.
But I also know my family is trying to pay off debt.
I'm kind of wondering what your opinion is.
What's your startup for cleaning somebody's house that's $1,000?
I'm talking about things like I'm going to need to learn how to run a small business.
I'd like to consult with an accountant, make sure I'm doing my tax forms properly.
I'd like to read a couple of books.
I'd like to be able to have my own supply suite to make sure that I can bring my own supplies
into someone's house. Marketing materials, things like that. And that's to really do it. Oh,
and my insurance and bonding. So that's like the high end to do it well.
Okay. And I think I don't have a disagreement with a single thing you said.
I just think you can go make some money and then buy all that.
Well, right now I do have a passive income of my own. I'm a disabled veteran.
No, your household's already got that income trying to get out of debt.
You're trying to get out of debt.
And so you're trying to not cost your house $1,000.
Instead, you want to make your house ten thousand dollars
right so i can kind of jump in and work on it doesn't take a lot to go over to somebody's
house and clean their house with their stuff and make enough the project what i'm going to be doing
is more larger projects so like move-in move-out cleans, party cleanup, party setup, spring cleaning, laundry overhaul, things like that.
So take some where someone else furnishes the supplies, take that money and go buy some supplies.
Then take those supplies and go take some of these other gigs that you needed supplies for, and then take that money and go hire your accountant and then go get bonded
okay but i've i've hired a whole bunch of people to clean stuff in residential situations
over my uh 60 years of life and i don't think a single one i've ever been bonded
okay because insurance and bonding was something that i was seeing was a really big come on it's
not a big deal not a big deal. Not a big deal.
Rich ladies in rich houses in rich end of town don't give a rip as long as their toilets are clean.
Okay.
Okay?
They're not worried about your insurance and your bonding.
Now, you start doing commercial gigs and those catering stuff and the party planning and all that other stuff,
then, yeah, you're going to have to get bonded.
And, yeah, I think it would be a good idea to get bonded, and I'd love for you to take a class and get an accountant and read some books.
I think all of that is a great idea.
But just cash flow it.
Go make the money to pay for it.
Organically use your profits to grow your business.
And then it doesn't cost your house anything.
And at some point, it'll be adding to the household income.
This is The Dave Ramsey Show.
Are high health care costs getting you down?
Are you confused trying to navigate your options?
Do you wish you could find an affordable, biblical solution to your health care costs? Based on New Testament principles, Christian Health Care Ministries, or CHM,
helps Christian families, churches, and ministries join together as the body of Christ to share their major health care costs.
Christian Health Care Ministries is the original health cost-sharing ministry.
A Better Business Bureau-accredited organization,
CHM members share
to pay each other's medical bills. It's not insurance. It's Christians financially and
spiritually supporting each other. It's what Christian Healthcare Ministries has done for
over 35 years, and our members have shared over $2.5 billion in medical bills. To learn more, visit chministries.org. That's chministries.org.
Christian Healthcare Ministries is a proud sponsor of Dave Ramsey Live Events. chministries.org. David is in Arizona.
Hi, David.
Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.
Hey, Dave.
How are you?
Better than I deserve.
What's up?
Hey, so I just wanted to get your thoughts on whether or not I should file bankruptcy.
I have $71,000 in student loans.
I was divorced in 2014.
I just did a divorce by default, meaning I took no part in it because of my Christian beliefs.
So my ex-wife didn't get stuck with any of that debt. So I have $71,000
student loans, about $38,000 in consumer debt. I have a bank repossession for my vehicle that
happened in June. Um, two knee surgeries. I've been kind of down and out. I make about, I bring
home about $28,000 a year. Um, and I'm just kind of just like sinking. I don't know what the heck to do about this debt. Um, all of it's like in, um,
in a charge off many, most of it's charged off.
I got debt collectors calling me and I'm just trying to figure out what to do
about this.
How old are you?
48 years old. I have a 14 year old son. I have no savings,
nothing. And I'm just trying to just rebound. I have a 14-year-old son. I have no savings, nothing. And I'm just trying to
just rebound. I bought a business in 2016, and it was a horrible idea. It was the company
I was working for. I bought it, and I ended up having to close it down at the end of 2017.
So it's just been kind of ever since then, everything's just gone downhill.
When was the divorce?
You know, and I look... Go ahead.
When was the divorce? You know, and I look... Go ahead. When was the divorce?
2014, in June.
When was the knee surgeries?
The knee surgeries, I had one in June, and I had one in June of last year.
So basically, the last two years, I've had a knee surgery,
and I've been rehabbing since then,
but I'm doing much better now.
I'm back to working out and getting back in shape.
Before the divorce, what were you doing for a living?
I was actually a college student.
I was studying to be an engineer to design HVAC systems,
heating ventilation systems,
and just kind of just working, you know, odd jobs here and there, you know.
What's the best year of your life financially, income-wise?
2016, I did almost $97,000.
That was when I owned my business.
And why did it close?
I had a salesman that was working for me that I was really encouraged to keep
when I bought the business, and I ended up having to fire him
because he wasn't doing his job,
which was pretty simple.
He just go to doctor's offices and drop off brochures.
When I found out he wasn't doing it, I ended up letting him go.
And he ended up taking a position with one of my competitors and just slowly but surely he ran me out of business,
just drastically just dropped off.
And it was kind of out of my control because, you know,
when you're dealing with doctors, there's a lot of favoritism in who you know.
And because he had been around for such a long time, he built the relationship.
So I just kind of underestimated his power, I guess.
Well, what I hear, just listening to listening to your story is an awful lot of pain,
an awful lot of pain. You've been through, you've been through hell in the last five years,
a divorce, my turn, my turn, a divorce, a business failure, two knee surgeries, and you're underemployed making $28,000 just surviving,
and you've been kicked and kicked and kicked and kicked,
and you're tired.
That's what I hear.
Am I wrong?
Yeah, and I've done it stone cold sober.
I don't drink.
I don't do drugs.
I mean, none of that.
I wasn't accusing you of that.
I was accusing you of hurting.
No.
I'm just saying, I mean, so my hurt's my hurts have been intensified because I'm doing it.
No.
That stuff intensifies hurts.
People think it masks it, but it doesn't.
You're much better off to be stone-cold sober.
You've got a better chance of making it through this, brother.
But, I mean, I guess what I'm you saying i if i were just looking in from
the outside number one i think you would not be a human being that was rational if you were not
hurting right now it's rational to hurt with what you've been through in the last five years i mean
in five years you've been through four major things two surgeries a divorce and a business loss
this is a gut-wrenching behavior series you've been through, dude.
And if you're not a psychopath, I mean, this knocks you in the teeth.
It really does.
The teeth just keep you grounded.
Yeah.
Well, it does that because you find solid, you know, rock bottom is solid ground.
Yeah.
But so then what we've got to do is start to rethink and reset.
And the rearview mirror is small for a reason.
It's smaller than the windshield.
And so we start to look out the windshield and we say, okay, good news is I got two new knees and I don't have to ask a wife to do anything.
I'm 48.
What do I want to be when I grow up?
Let's start dreaming again.
And maybe we go back to the engineering dream, because your biggest problem is not your debts.
Your biggest problem is your income, and the volatility of your income over the last five years has been all up and down and dipsy-doodle.
And you've been on
this whirlwind of crap i mean you just have and that's all in the rearview mirror now it should be
uh you're still cold sober where there is no vision the people perish and so your goal your
first goal is to get your tank filled back up and start to have something to be excited about again that's in the future and that needs to be around career somewhere maybe it's the engineering thing
maybe it's something else i'm sorry i'm a licensed real estate agent i got my real estate license in
2015 but i've never done anything with it i've done a little bit but beginning of the year i
really want to start pursuing real estate good okay why why are we waiting to the beginning of the year, I really want to start pursuing real estate. Good. Okay. Why are we waiting until the beginning of the year?
Well, just because, I mean, it costs money for, like, all the dues, you know, the association fees and all that.
But I do graphic design, too, so I've already designed a bunch of my marketing material.
I'm just waiting for the first of the year to really just kind of just roll everything out.
Why don't you do a whole bunch of graphic design freelance between now and the first of the year?
Yeah, well, I've done it before real estate agents are cheap they don't like paying i wasn't going to pay real estate agents i said graphic design freelance i don't care who
you do yeah you can jump online and get jobs left and right doing that dude it just on the side as
a side hustle let's make another 20 000 bucks between now and the end of the year you ain't got nothing to do but work so go to work yeah yeah i hear that yeah let's let's
do let's just generate some some activity and some income but the only way to have the energy to do
that with everything you've been through is to see something in the future that looks like hope
hope deferred makes the heart sick but when desire desire comes, it is the tree of life.
Student loans are not bankruptable, and so you would be filing bankruptcy on stuff you could probably settle for $20,000 because it's all behind.
If you settled it all for 50 cents on the dollar, you'd be out.
So bankruptcy is not really addressing your issue.
You can file it if you want to, but that's going to be one more negative thing you have to go through.
And so what I would tell you to do instead is just take all those bills and just throw them in the trash for right now. You can file it if you want to, but that's going to be one more negative thing you have to go through.
And so what I would tell you to do instead is just take all those bills and just throw them in the trash for right now.
And once they're in the trash, then I'd start working on my income.
Call the student loan people, tell them it's on hardship deferral.
I had two knee surgeries, a bankruptcy, and a failed business.
I can't pay you right now.
Ding, ding, hardship deferral on the $71,000.
The repo's up behind you.
It's done.
They're not going to bother you for a while.
And the other consumer debt, you're not paying on it anyway.
You got $28,000 coming in.
Now you got a new side hustle of some kind.
I don't care what it is, but something between now and the end of the year.
Go make a whole bunch of money and start clearing this debt up.
And then once you get your income coming up, then we can attack the student loans and reactivate them.
You can get through this, dude.
But I really want to help you make sure that you and your pastor,
your church, community around you are getting your tank filled back up
and causing you to believe in the future again.
Because it's a normal human reaction when you have this many negative things come at you
it steals some of your hope and um the good news is is that you don't it doesn't have to steal it
you can just decide okay i'm gonna look out there the rearview mirror there's a bunch of trash back
there there's several car wrecks in my rearview mirror. But right in front of me is clean sailing. I can start again fresh. Take a
bow. Come back out for the second act. Time for the encore career.
You can do this. I know you can. Hold on. I'm going to send you a copy
of Ken Coleman's book, The Proximity Principle. It'll help you in this
journey. Call me if you need me, brother. I'm here. This is the Dave Ramsey
Show. Thank you. Amy is with us.
Amy is in North Carolina.
Hi, Amy.
Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.
Hey, Dave. It's a pleasure to get to talk to you.
You too. What's up?
I've been listening to you for quite a while,
and I've heard you say before that the whole life insurance policies
are terrible ways to invest money.
Yes, ma'am.
And my husband and I each have one, and we have some debt.
And we decided, we went ahead and decided to go ahead and cash those out.
The total between those two is about $26,000 in cash-out value.
So what would be your advice on how to use that money going forward?
Wherever you are on the baby steps.
Well, we're back to baby step one. I had some medical expenses last year,
and we had to use all of our emergency fund for that.
You have debt.
And we had about $17,500 in debt.
Medical?
Right now, we've got that paid down to about $1,000.
What's the $17,500?
Medical debt?
And the other debt is the car, and we owe about $11,000 on our car.
So your medical problems didn't cause you to
go borrow on a car no um it didn't we we've done some things out of order and i'm trying to get
straightened out or or you just stopped doing it and went back to living normal and now you started
again exactly okay all right so the danger of using this to
pay off everything is is that you do that cycle again because next time next time you go buy a
stupid car on stupid debt you're not going to have a whole life policy to bail your stupid self out
exactly
exactly this is how i talk to myself too
i understand i love it all right yeah so i mean really the two of you have to pinky swear and
spit shake no no no recycling this crap again okay okay now do you guys have term life insurance in
place we do have term life insurance in place? We do have term life insurance in place,
and I realized after listening to you, son,
that that's really all we need is the term life insurance.
Yeah.
If you've got enough of that, then, yes, I would cash the whole life out.
I would pay off the $17,500, including the $11,000 car,
and I would begin to replenish my emergency fund.
It'll put you back into baby step three.
Am I right?
Right.
And I was told that we're going to have a taxable gain off of that of like $1,900 or more.
It's very unusual.
They gave you the exact numbers?
On mine.
I don't know what my husband did, but on mine it was going to be 1900
gain you must have had these things forever we had them for 17 years okay because it's very
unusual for them to even make any money and the fact that it made two thousand dollars is shocking
okay so you have taxes on two thousand dollars000. It's going to cost you $500 in taxes.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
And so it's ordinary income.
Your basis is the total of all your premiums paid in,
and cash value minus the total of all your premiums paid in is usually a loss.
In your case, it sounds like it made $1,900, and so your tax rate applied to that. So set aside
$500 for some extra taxes this year. If you got a tax refund last year, you wouldn't even have to
worry about that. You'd just get less of a refund, which you need to adjust that anyway. So yes, I
would cash that in, but the most important part of this story is that when life happens the next time you're not going to be in debt and you're
going to have an emergency fund and you're not going to go into debt ever again you have to
seal that you have to pinky swear and spit shake because it's going to if you cycle this it gets
harder and harder and harder to do it all All right, Jim is with us in Oregon.
Hi, Jim.
How are you?
I'm great, Dave.
How are you?
Better than I deserve.
What's up?
Awesome.
Thanks for taking my call.
I was just looking for some advice to help counsel a gal at church.
She's 62 years old, single, retired, and she's on a fixed take-home income of about $2,600 from a pension.
I've encouraged her to kind of look and to see what her benefits for Social Security can be to add to that.
She currently has a $193,000 mortgage, and her payments she refinanced not too long ago just to take some money out to pay off debt.
Her payments are $1,138 a month, so pretty high with her $2,600 take-home. She does have
$268,000 in a 401k, so no debt. Got her on a budget now. We're kind of encouraging her on
Baby Step 3 to increase her emergency fund to about $10,000, and then once we get there...
Is she in poor health?
She's not.
Why is she not working?
She's 62 years old.
She's trying to help out with her daughter and her kids and watching her kids.
Oh, come on.
She's broke.
Yep.
I mean, she's not ready to retire.
If she is not going to work anymore, she needs to sell this house.
It's too much house okay this house is not going to make it till she's 90 with it with the nest egg she's got
and her limited income coming in from other sources because if we use all this money and
pay off this house which is basically what it's going to take there's no penalty on it but it's
all going to be taxes and and house and you got got a paid-for house and a broke lady living on $3,000 or $4,000 a month with zero money.
Right.
And that means she's got too much house is what that means.
Right.
So I would suggest she go make a whole bunch of money over the next decade working.
Yeah, she's got 10 years, definitely.
She's in good health.
How old are you okay
uh i'm uh 50 okay i'm 59 and i'm planning on working a while i don't i don't need i don't
need the money but i just like what i do and i need something to you know i need something to
keep my brain busy and so um you know and i enjoy helping people and doing what we're doing so i i
i really think she quit too soon uh if she wants to keep that house.
Now, if she doesn't want to keep that house and wants to move into about a $100,000 house,
and that way she'd have about $100,000, $150,000 nest egg and have a paid-for little condo of some kind,
maybe $100,000 or so, that would probably work long-term.
It's not going to be great.
It's not ideal.
But I would not suggest that she be broke with a paid-for house at 62 years old.
There's too much can happen over the next, what, next,
she'll be 92 when she dies probably.
That'll be the average.
Somebody that makes it to 62 in good health,
they got another 30 years probably, roughly.
That's what the actuarial tables are telling us so she's got 30 years to survive
with no money and i don't like that plan so i personally would tell her to go back to work but
if she doesn't want to do that then she needs to sell this house neither keeping the house and not
working is not going to be mathematically.
It's not going to work.
It's not going to work.
Hey, thanks for the call.
Open phones at 888-825-5225.
If you've ever wanted to do what we're just talking about,
what that guy's doing right there is help your friends, your neighbors,
your coworkers with their money issues.
Maybe you find yourself answering the questions on this show
because you already know the answer before I answer them.
It's like a little game people play when they're riding along.
I know the answer.
And we actually have people in your community, and we teach people how to guide and how to lead and how to coach in the financial area.
We have a training called the Financial Coach Master Training,
and we teach you how to help folks with coaching and even launch a successful coaching practice.
So you don't have to answer the questions on the radio. You can answer them with real people.
So to get you started, our financial coaching team is giving away one free enrollment
during the next webinar, which is this Thursday, November the 7th, at noon Central Time.
All you need to do to win is to register for the webinar.
It's easy.
No purchase is necessary.
Register for the webinar November 7th, and text the word COACH to 33789.
Text the word COACH to 33789, and you'll be in the drawing. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Our scripture of the day, Romans 8, 28.
And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good.
For those who are called according to his purpose.
Abraham Lincoln said,
Adhere to your purpose and you will soon feel as well as you ever did.
Ah, that's good.
Kim is with us.
Kim's in Maryland.
Hi, Kim.
Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.
Hi, Dave.
How are you?
Better than I deserve.
What's up?
Awesome.
I just wanted to know what your opinion was on giving your adult children money.
I have a daughter who's going to divorce and has two children, and she's asking me for
money to get out of an apartment that she's rented, and she's purchasing a home.
She's purchasing a home, and she wants you to give her money?
Yes.
Okay.
And do you have money?
I have less than $200,000 in my 401.
My house is almost paid off.
I was trying to get that paid off so I don't have a lot of debt,
but I'm also 60 years old.
So you're 60 with $200,000 in a 401K.
Your house is almost paid off. What do you make? but I'm also 60 years old. So you're 60 with $200,000 in a 401k.
Your house is almost paid off.
What do you make?
About $125,000.
Good for you.
And you're single?
Married.
Oh, okay.
That's your household income?
My household is about twice that.
Okay.
Is that your household wealth as well?
What do you mean?
Well, does your husband have a 401K in addition to the $200,000 you're talking about?
He has one with very little in it, less than $10,000.
Okay. So your total nest egg for your household is just a little over $200,000,
but making $250,000 at 62 years old.
Right. Right.
Okay.
All right.
I got you.
And this daughter is his as well, right?
No.
No, she's not.
Okay.
No.
Okay.
I divorced her dad when she was two.
I got you.
Okay.
And so she's moving out of an apartment and buying a home, but she doesn't have the money to do it.
I don't know if she has it or not.
She makes $65,000 a year.
Well, if she had the money, she wouldn't be asking you.
Her ex is staying in the family home, but she's buying another home.
I'm sorry, say that again?
Her ex is staying in the family home.
She's buying a smaller home.
Oh, she's going through a divorce.
Right.
Okay, but she doesn't have any money, obviously,
because she's asking you for money.
Right.
Okay.
And so what is her long-term plan with money?
Is she going to have an income?
Is she going to be able to support these kids?
The ex is going to support them with his child support?
How are they going to live?
Well, she has a job making about $65,000 a year.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
But I'm guessing that there's probably some debt in that family,
that she's going to end up responsible for part of it.
Is that probably true?
I would hope that's not the case i'd gotten her your book years ago and i think that they were
pretty much out of debt okay although she did ask me to pay off a credit card a few months ago
which i did for her and that was about 500 okay all right um so what i do what i want to do when
i'm helping someone especially people that are
that close and I love that much as one of my own kids, right, is I want to make sure
that my help is not assisting them in stepping into a bear trap.
I want to help them into a situation that's sustainable, that gives them a bright future.
Um, but I don't, me participating in the bad decisions that they're making
because they're hurting is not help, and I think that's what's going on here.
This lady doesn't have any money.
He's staying in the family house.
It probably doesn't have any equity in it, does it?
Are you guessing?
Very little.
Yeah, okay.
And so make sure the divorce decree, if you can,
reads that he has to refinance and get her name off of that mortgage
so that she can get her a mortgage in a couple of years when she gets straightened out.
She does not need to buy a house right now.
She's going through a divorce.
It's one of the worst years of her life, and she has no money,
and this is not the time to make a decision to buy a house.
She needs to rent something.
She already has a settlement date.
How much is a settlement?
I don't know.
She's not giving me that information.
Then I'm not giving her any money.
I'm not giving her any money.
Apparently, she's getting some money December 2nd.
Why does she need money from you?
I don't know.
I just want to do the right thing that's not the right it's not the right thing helping someone when you've got incomplete information that doesn't need help
and you're participating in their crazy is not really helping you're not really helping her
i want to love her well i want to love her with all my heart and all my being and i have to have
the whole picture to be able to know that i'm helping otherwise i'm just throwing money at stuff
and if those kids need some food we'll feed those kids if she needs a thousand or two thousand
dollars or something to get set up an apartment that's fine we'll help her get set up an apartment
but let's create her a future life and not allow her to step up into a house she can't
afford buying a house making a decision to buy a home in the midst of all this emotion and heartbreak
is a really bad idea but she's already gone through with it she's already signed the contract
she's not going to not do it okay then she i'm not loaning her money i'm not giving i'm not
loaning her money period but i'm not giving her any money.
Okay.
She's creating these traps where you have to participate in her crazy with limited information
based on the fact she painted herself in the corner.
And now asking you to participate in that.
I'm sorry.
I love her, but I'm not going to do that.
No.
You do what you want to do, but I wouldn't do it.
I wouldn't loan her money ever i
wouldn't loan anybody money under any circumstances but i certainly wouldn't give her money in this
situation because you were not involved in the decision if she wants your money you get to be
involved in the decision and so you know i'm sorry i love you and i'll be here for you and i'll be
your biggest cheerleader and i'll help you but this, but I'm not going to be able to play this time.
This game's not a game I like the rules for, and I don't want to play in this game.
So I think you're going to give her money anyway, but I wouldn't.
Thanks for the call.
Open phones at 888-825-5225.
You jump in.
We'll talk about your life and your money.
Bethany is with us.
Bethany is in California.
Hi, Bethany.
How are you?
Hi.
Thank you for taking my call, Dave.
Sure.
What's up?
Well, a couple things.
So my mother passed away, and there's eight of us, and she left me a large asset just for me.
Wow.
And some of my siblings know that and some of
them don't. And, um, it's substantial enough that I could use it to pay off my mortgage.
Mm-hmm. And I'm trying to decide, do I pay off my mortgage? It's about20,000 at 4%,
or do I take that money and invest it for retirement?
I would pay off the mortgage.
And then I would use the increased cash flow and being on a budget
and whatever money is left over after that to begin my long-term investing.
The data that we have from millionaires is not that they borrow on their home to invest.
And effectively, by not paying this off and using the money to invest, it's the same math.
The millionaire data that we have from studying 10,000 millionaires says they pay off their homes in 7 to 10 years.
10.2 years is the average.
And they steadily invest over a long period of time, and that's how their wealth is built.
Okay.
So why would your mother leave you all this money
and not any to your brothers and sisters?
Oh, there's substantial funds that are being left to them as well,
but this one particular asset,
the only thing I can come up with is that I moved across the street
and helped her for years.
So she didn't communicate to the family what was going on,
and so now you're left, because your mother didn't tell everybody
what was going on, you're left with the idea that your brothers
and sisters may be angry or hurt.
Uh-huh.
Wow, that's so sad.
Yeah. Never do that with your never do that with your will okay oh heck no make sure all your kids and everyone that's in the will knows everything
if you can't tell everybody then you're causing problems at your death and see so she left you
a mixed blessing it's got the curse of a relationship strain and the blessing of the money.
That's just so sad.
I'm sorry.
That puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show and the books.
We'll be back with you before you know it.
In the meantime, remember, there is ultimately only one way to financial peace,
and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.
Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show.
This episode is over, but if you heard about a product or service and didn't have a chance to write it down, don't worry.
We list everything that is mentioned during this episode in the podcast show notes section.
Thanks for listening.
