The Ramsey Show - App - Don't Play Dizzy Bat With Whole Life Salesmen (Hour 2)

Episode Date: January 22, 2019

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage means you're probably on your way to being an everyday millionaire. Ah, yeah, best-selling book, baby, without a doubt. Number one best-selling author, Chris Hogan, joins me in the midst of the Everyday Millionaire Tour. We will be doing a Smart Money live event tonight in Los Angeles at Irvine at Mariner's Church. And excited about that. Chris, you've been doing media all morning.

Third week of the book tour. Are you running out of gas? No, Dave. I am motivated, and I'm wired up and fired up uh the people have been fantastic at the book signings uh out out on the road as i'm meeting them and talking with them i am ready to keep it rolling time to go well when you meet folks that are winning and are encouraged to go win it keeps your energy level up doesn't it it really does i think if you were meeting with sad people all day long, every day, you would be sad and ready to go home. Oh, yeah. Oh, after three weeks. Yeah.

But the media people have been fantastic. The radio people have been fantastic. People are excited about this message, Dave. I really feel like that we are going to give America really a shot in the arm of really looking and identifying of, hey, we can control our future. We get to make decisions. People, nobody gets to tell me or limit me with what I can do when I'm armed with the right information and I have the right attitude. Absolutely. And, you know, people want to believe that it's possible.

Yeah. They want to believe they live in a country and in an economy where if they took action, that they could have a positive result. But they've been told for so long that America is so broken and America doesn't work anymore for the little man. And America needs to be socialist. And America needs to be this. And there's this whole drumbeat of negative mythology. And honestly, I call it mythology, but what it is is lies. You've been lied to america we know that because chris and our team did the largest research project of millionaires actual millionaires people that are both dave ramsey followers

and people that have never heard of dave ramsey from what we call white space very carefully done button up research the research technique is well, it really cannot be criticized. It's perfect. It's airtight. And we were very careful because we knew people have an agenda, sadly, to destroy hope out there. And so part of the fun of this book is to get to do battle with that. Yeah. No, we want people to know the reality.

We want you to see and read the stories of people that had to overcome some obstacles. They had some situations in their life. There's a gentleman in here that we talked to, one of the millionaires that was homeless, Dave, for a period of time. But all of these millionaires, it's not an accident. You know, they made a decision. They started moving in a direction for themselves themselves and they were able to do it. Now there was no easy button. There was no magic pill or formula.

They had to do some hard work and they had to work over time. But Dave, what I love is that they kept their sight on the goal. You know, they didn't allow anything to deter them or, or, or cause them to move away from what they were trying to accomplish and they were enjoying their lives in the process yeah and we found that um there are millionaires of every race every creed um color national origin southern northern um even california people i mean we have to mess with you californ California people since we're over here. But, yeah, seriously, I mean, everybody, it's amazing.

Different people had different obstacles to overcome, but they did. Yeah. And we've each got our own little baby to rock here when it comes down to that stuff. But, you know, the question is, can it be done? And based on, well, I mean, here's a Hispanic guy. Jose says, I drive a 10-year-old Mazda, azda a cx9 it has almost 200 000 miles on it and of all the cars we purchased in the past 10 years have and they all have all the cars we purchased the past 10 years have all been used cars when we purchased them in cash hispanic guy millionaire yeah one of the guys we interviewed yeah and

that's what he did he didn't go well all hispanics have to have a new car yeah i mean like that's what he did. He didn't go, well, all Hispanics have to have a new car. Yeah. I mean, like that's a Hispanic disease or something. Right. It's not a Hispanic disease, not a black disease, not a white disease. It's a new car disease. That's exactly right. And that's called giving up your money and your your wealth building potential disease. So, again, you know, like you said, Dave, we've all had obstacles. We've all had some challenges. But we get a chance in this country to decide. We get a chance to make a decision, to plug in for information that's going to help you get there, and we get a chance to do it. We have an incredible opportunity in front of us. And again, that mindset, Dave, one of the things that I looked at with the millionaires,

one of the stats, it was huge. 92% of the millionaires stick to a long-term plan for their money. Well, there you go. Imagine that. 92% of the people that get to Florida had a map. They didn't wander down there and go, where's Arizona? Wait a minute, I'm in Florida. You know, you have a plan.

You have a direction, and you follow the map. I mean, well, there you go. You know, 92% of the people that get in great shape have a plan. You have a direction, and you follow the map. I mean, well, there you go. You know, 92% of people that get in great shape have a plan. 92% of people that run a marathon had a training plan. Yes. They didn't just wake up one morning and go, I'm going to go run a marathon. People do that, but they end up in the hospital. Right.

You know, and that's not how life works. And that's just no shock to me. So Chris did a big book signing here in Los Angeles last night. Tonight, he and I will be doing the Smart Money Live event at Mariner's Church here in Irvine. And then now those of you up in the San Jose, San Francisco area, tomorrow night, Wednesday night, the 23rd at 6 o'clock, Barnes & Noble at Stevens Creek Boulevard. Chris will be giving away, courtesy of the SmartVestor folks, $1,000. Be handing it out there that night, Dave. And so now, you do have to be present to win, but you don't have to purchase a book to win. You don't have to purchase anything.

No, don't buy anything. Just need to be there and be present when we draw. No, we want to sell you a book, though. I would love for you to take a book. I mean, I really would. But we're going to have fun. You know, the opportunity to do a little bit of Q&A there, to talk, to be able to meet you. And, Dave, I've got people coming up to me telling me that they're an everyday millionaire.

Yeah. You know. It's already become a thing. It has become a thing. You can see it in their eyes. And they walk up and they lean in and they say, hey, Hogan, I'm one of those everyday millionaires. And I just smile. And they go, how'd you do it?

And I say, my 401k and I stayed out of debt. I put money in my Roth IRA. I mean, I almost mumble. Yeah. I love it. Okay, he'll be in Sacramento on Thursday night at the Barnes & Noble at Arden Fair, giving away $1,000 there on Friday. Seattle heading that way at the Barnes & Noble there at Northgate,

$1,000 given away at each of those. And that is the three final stops on the book tour. It's the third week of the book tour. He's been going crazy. We've all been going crazy, running around all over the nation seeing you guys. This is the California leg. So San Jose, Wednesday night, Stevens Creek, Barnes & Noble. And, of course, the Sacramento store, Barnes & Noble Arden Fair on Thursday night, Friday night, Seattle, Barnes & Noble at Northgate.

Each time we're giving away $1,000. No purchase necessary. Must be present to win. Must be 18 years old or older. You know the laws on that stuff. So just come out. You're going to enjoy being around people who are positive, people who think they can win. We're going to sell you a booklet.

Chris, write his name in the front of it, which makes it worth more, I think. And you sell it on eBay for probably a dollar less than you paid for it. And, well, it's all defaced and all. I mean, you marked in there. Well, I did. I did. Well, your kids were told not to write in books. Right.

Now we sign them for a living. We do. Now, listen. We've kicked off a new year. You know, California, it's a new year, and it's an opportunity for a new you. So I would appreciate you coming out and seeing me. I'd love to meet you. So those out in California, get ready.

Seattle, know I'm coming your way to it. And let's finish this thing strong. The American dream is still alive and available. Everyday Millionaires is the book how ordinary people build extraordinary wealth and how you can, too. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. You know what I've learned after talking to so many people who have been victims of ID theft? They feel violated and they have a sense of fear and intrusion. It can be overwhelming.

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Hi, Jill. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi. Thanks for taking my call. It's what we do. Jill is with us in Houston. Hi, Jill. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi. Thanks for taking my call. I really need your advice. This is fabulous. Sure. How can I help?

Okay. I'm recently divorced. I have two high school boys. I have a quadro fund that I'm trying to decide if I should liquidate to pay off debt and put it towards my mortgage, or if I should just roll that quadro into an IRA and deal with the debt on my own. How much debt do you have? Financial Peace University. How much debt do you have?

The debt is $40,000 and the mortgage is $179,000. That's the only debt? Okay. You have $40,000 plus a $179,000 mortgage. What's your income? $85,000 and possibly a bonus, but that's not guaranteed. Okay. That could take me up to $100,000, but I just bank on $85,000.

How long have you been doing this job? Four and a half years. How many times have you not gotten a bonus? Twice. Okay. Zero bonus twice and got a $15,000 bonus twice. Well, let's say the last two years I did get it, so I'm hoping that trend will continue. Okay.

Is that based on the company or your performance? The company because it's an oil gas industry, so the slump kind of decides. Gotcha. Okay. All right. What kind of debt is the $40,000? $20,000 car loan and $20,000 credit card. Okay. And how much is in the quadro?

$167,000. And I did take off time for the boys and their little, so my retirement in my 401k is about $111,000. Okay, good. Well well you're fine on that you're tracking okay um we just need to get the debt cleared up so that you've got a little more breathing room to start investing again yourself um i i'm gonna try to leave it alone um you don't have i mean if i remember correctly there's no penalty for cashing it but there is certainly taxes is that what you've understood yes okay no penalty for cashing it, but there is certainly taxes. Is that what you've understood? Yes. No penalty because it's still in the quadro.

I haven't rolled it over yet. Right. But you would have taxes on it. If you roll it, obviously you put it into a penalty situation then. Right. But that's not the case today. 167? Mm-hmm.

I'm going to leave it sit there. You can leave it there for a little while, right? Yes, and I could take partial out. It doesn't have to be the full amount. Oh, I know. Yeah, I knew that. I mean, we could take out enough just to pay off the 40, which is all we would do, plus taxes.

So you'd have to take about 60 out of it, and I have about 100 left, give or take. Here's why. I'm going to let it sit there without rolling it so that you can get to it if you have to but with this in mind then let's let's get on a tight budget let's get game on let's buckle the chin strap on the helmet right let's lean into this and let's pay the 40 000 off so you don't have to mess with it when you do that then roll it to an IRA.

But if you look up and two years later you're still not doing all this and you're still struggling, but you shouldn't be. You make enough to pay 40 off. Yeah, I can. And I just started the Financial Peace University, so I'll get even more disciplined. Yeah, so let's say this. By this time next year, if you don't feel very confident you're on your way to finishing this off,

it's going to probably take you 18 months to two years to do it, okay? But with a couple kids, a single mom doing this at 85, give or take plus 15. If this time next year you make a relook the decision, and if you feel stuck still this time next year, yeah, take some of that money and pay this debt off. But I think you're going to be so far along on paying it off and so confident that you're going to be able to knock it out without touching it that then you'll make the decision to roll it. Okay. Do you see what I'm doing? Yes.

Yeah, but I wouldn't roll it. It doesn't take that long. Whatever. I mean, it doesn't matter. However fast you want to do it. But the point being, let's get your confidence in the numbers and in the traction and the progress that you're having towards the debt reduction before we make the decision to either cash it or roll it. That sounds good. And if that's eight months, if that's 12 months, it's not a magic number, but I'm looking for enough. You got your feet under you long enough that you go, I can do this race.

Yes. That's all I want here. Hey, you're on target. You're going to do a whole lot better than you thought. You're rocking it. I mean, you're $85,000 a year. You got control. You're on target.

You know what you're doing. You're making your money behave. I mean, you're going to win, aren't you? I am. I'm really excited about just being smart with my money and getting debt-free eventually. It's my goal. Soon. We're excited for you.

We're proud for you. Good job. Well done. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Greg is on Facebook. He says, Dave, if I got a term life insurance policy, what happens at the end of the term? Does coverage cease? Yes.

You can re-up it, but it's hugely expensive and ridiculous. You're better off to buy a new term policy if you're insurable at that time. Well, does that not mean I don't have insurance? Could. That's why we tell you to buy a 15 to 20-year level term. Let's say you're 30 years old and you buy a 20-year level term policy and you have a 3-year

old and a 5-year old. 20 years later, you have a 23-year old and a 25-year old that should be grown and gone. So you don't have kids to worry about if you die. 20 years later, your house will be paid for because we tell you never to take out more than a 15-year fixed-rate loan. And even if you do that, you ought to pay it off early using the baby steps.

Twenty years later, you will have been investing in your 401K, getting the match in your Roth IRA, in good growth stock mutual funds. And you'll probably have $600,000, $700,000, $800,000 if you're typical. You might have more. So let's get this straight. You've, $700,000, $800,000 if you're typical. You might have more. So let's get this straight. You got $700,000. You're in your 50s. The kids are grown and gone. The house is paid for, and you die without life insurance.

You think she's okay? I think she's okay. By doing financial planning and becoming debt-free, you have become self-insured. You've set yourself in a position that your wife is okay without you having life insurance. The only need that anyone has for life insurance for their whole life is to make sure they pay their agent a commission. And that's not one of my financial goals. So go to Zander Insurance, Jeff Zander, Zander Insurance, ZanderINS.com, and get a quick, easy quote on 15- to 20-year-level term.

Your rule of thumb is to buy 10- 12 times your income. So if you make $50,000 a year, you ought to have $500,000 to $600,000 in 20-year level term, 15-year level term. And really, I gauge the difference between the 15 and the 20 is about when the kids are going to leave home because I want to make sure that there's money there until they're gone. Once they're gone, the house will be paid for or almost paid for, and you'll have a good pile of money, and mama will be okay, and you'll be okay if something happens to

mama. So that's the game plan, to become self-insured by becoming wealthy and debt-free. That way you don't need term insurance forever. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. There's nothing smart about smartphones if your wireless plan is blowing your budget each month. Pure Talk USA offers smarter wireless with unlimited plans starting as low as $20 per month. You never pay data overage fees and we never turn off your data. No contracts, no hidden fees. And if you're thinking our low cost means less coverage, think again.

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Eddie is with us in Fairfax, Virginia. Hi, Eddie, how are you? Hey, Dave, how are you doing today? Better than I deserve. What's up in your world, sir? Hey, I have a quick question for you. So I have a car payment, which is actually my only debt right now. However, the interest rate on it is pretty bad.

It's at 22%. Yeah, and today I went online and got the payoff quote, and it's at about $15,150. So I've kind of been seeing some of your videos where you talk about you know sell the car um which i'm totally fine with i have a backup um i i guess my main question is what's the lowest i should take on the uh on the car if i'm taking it to a dealership now i do have money in my savings that I can put towards, I guess, the balance to try to get out of this loan as quick as possible. Okay. So how much do you have in savings, not counting retirement?

$5,500. Okay. And what is your household income? It's about $72,000 a year. Okay. And what is your household income? About $72,000 a year. Okay. And are you single? No, I'm married, but my wife stays home with the kids. Okay. All right. And the other car, what is it worth, the one that's paid for?

I don't know, but I can't say. It's probably not much because I only bought it for about $3,000. Okay. So you've got a $3,000 car. Do you have a third car then, too? No, no, just two cars. Okay, you have the $3,000 car and a $15,000 car, give or take, right? Yeah. Okay, so my rule of thumb on cars is this.

If you can become debt-free inside of two years, and if your vehicle totals altogether are less than half your annual income and you want to keep the car, then keep it. So I don't have a problem with you keeping this car because you easily could pay it off inside of two years, making $72,000. Especially if you throw, you know, if you do our baby steps, baby step one's $1,000, you keep that much in the account, you throw the other four at the car, that gets you down to $11,000. How fast can you pay off $11,000 making $1,000. You keep that much in the account. You throw the other four at the car. That gets you down to $11,000.

How fast can you pay off $11,000 making $72,000? Four months? Yeah, probably pretty quick. Yeah, four or five months. I mean, if it was your main thing, right? And that gets rid of this ridiculous interest rate, which your income doesn't tell me why your interest rate is high. It must be you have bad credit. I did have horrible credit when I got the car.

My credit was really bad. Because they took you to the cleaners. Oh, yeah. They saw you coming. They were like, hey, there comes Eddie. Let's get Eddie. Right. Look at that.

There's Eddie, right, walking up the lot. And boom. Yeah. Wow. I'm going to pay the thing off or I'm going to sell it, but I don't see a financial reason to sell it unless you just don't like it anyway. No, I wouldn't

sell it back to a dealer. I would sell it for a private sale. There's no panic here. You said this is your only debt except your home, correct? Well, I'm actually, so I want to sell the car because I want to eventually start saving for a down payment on a home. Okay, well, I want you to, too. So, I mean, you could do this in really, really fast.

Okay. I mean, you throw four at it. Now we got $11,150, and then I take $ 11 000 bucks and i divide that into 72 and i'm going i mean we're going to get on your budget and beans and rice rice and beans you guys are going to do a written plan on every dollar and uh announce to the children we are staying home but we're keeping the car so uh you know and we're getting this thing paid off and we're going to get paid off really fast and once that's done you move on to baby step three which is with no payments in the world you build up your emergency fund you take that thousand dollars that's left build it back up to three to six

months of expenses grandma's rainy day fund and then you start saving for your down payment on your house by this time next year you're thinking about a house probably realistically but that's if you guys sacrifice and quit screwing around with money. Y'all have been really sloppy. Yeah. I was, too. That's how I can see it. Yeah. I can see it in the math.

It doesn't mean you're sloppy. I just said you were sloppy. Like you said, I used to have this. Well, yeah, you change. You make a change. So if you want to sell it, it'll accelerate it. But it really won't accelerate you getting a house if you do what i'm teaching here but about three months maybe four okay and so i i'm just gonna pound that car in the face and keep it and then but you know when you look at stuff like this you say you have a never again

moment never again well i put myself emotionally in a situation where someone could take me to the cleaners like this because i mean if you look in if you look in the mirror you're gonna see holes in your lip because they hooked you man i mean like a big bass you know i mean just like the real one is going right and uh so you got to go never again am i biting on shiny stuff again because i got a hole in my lip you know never again because i've done a lot of stupid stuff in my life my only goal is to not is to i don't have a goal to be so careful i never make a mistake my only goal is not make the same one twice just don't repeat it and so you've had your stupid moment on the car lot high interest rate mistake get that sucker paid off put it in in your past. Forget it, except to the extent you promise yourself never again.

Never again will I be on a car lot unless I'm laying Benjamin Franklin's across the hood, fanned out, so that they know we're paying cash. I'm not going on there. I'm not even going to think about being around something I can't pay cash for. And that's what I would do if I were in your shoes. Patrick is in Richmond, Virginia. Hey, Patrick, how are you? I'm doing well, Mr. Ramsey. I appreciate you taking my call.

I'm a big fan. I'm honored. How can I help? Well, when I was two years old, my grandfather opened up a whole life life insurance policy for me. Of course he did. I am now 27 married, so he wants me to take it over and name my wife as the beneficiary. I have been listening to your show for a little while now. I know and actually agree with you how ridiculous a whole life policy is, but I left the agent's office today confused more than anything else.

He was trying to convince me to keep the policy and something about a pop date where I wouldn't have to pay for it, and I'm just confused as to what, when I cash it out, I don't know how much I would get. I see something about paid-up additions versus cash value, and I'm just a little confused. If you have to confuse your customer to sell them, then your product sucks. And one of the main methodologies of marketing whole life is confusion. They actually teach it as a sales technique. Just get them in.

You know, it's like you ever done dizzy bat? Put your head down on a bat and go in circles until you pass out, and you can't walk because you're dizzy. You ever done that? Yes, I have. That's exactly what you just did in the whole life agent's office. Right. You just did mental dizzy bat, intellectual dizzy bat.

And so because he took you on this trip. So here's the deal. It's fairly simple. Whole life life insurance is 20 times more expensive than the same amount of term insurance. The other $95 per hundred that you spend goes to build up a savings account inside the whole life policy. Okay? Okay. If you take it over, that's what you're doing. So you're spending $100 instead of $5 for the same product, or multiples of that.

You follow me? Yes. Okay. So where does the other $95 go? Is it bad to save money? Well, good gracious, no, it's not bad to save money. Where does the other $95 go? Well, it goes into a thing called cash value.

Okay? If you buy a new whole life policy the first three years your cash value buildup is zero which means they kept all of your 95 out of 100 dollars as fees after three years you finally start building up some cash value the whole life policies when you do the math on them and you can do the math if you're a financial person like me with a calculator when you back the math out take the cost of term out of it and then look at what the return on investment of that 95 dollars is i I can back into it, and it's between 1% and 2%. You have a bad savings account after they kept your money for three years.

Oh, guess what happens to the cash value when you die or the paid-up additions when you die? They keep it. They only pay you the face value. So your savings account was zero for the first three years. One to 2% after that, when you die, they keep your money. If you had a bank that did that, you would walk out of the bank laughing, not dizzy. Right. So what you need to do is lovingly, kindly tell your grandpa,

I love you and I appreciate what you meant to do here. I'll be investing smarter than this and closing this crap down. And then don't play dizzy bat with people who, that's their goal in life is to confuse you because their stuff sucks so bad. It's one of the worst products on the market today, permanent life insurance. Thank you for joining us, America. Shirley's with us in Pensacola.

Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show, Shirley. Hi, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up in your world? Me too. Well, my husband and I are both about 61 and 62 years old. We're wanting to retire around 65. Good.

Our concern is we've been debating back and forth, do we want to go ahead and take our investment money out and pay off the condo that we now live in, or do we need to keep that in the investment and continue to pay on the mortgage by adding more principal to that? Okay, you have investment money that is non-retirement? Yes. Okay. How much? We have close to about $250,000, $300,000. What's the balance on the condo? Balance on the condo is about $174,000. Okay. And how much do you have in your 401k retirement nest eggs? About $600,000, $625,000. I'd write a check today and pay it off. Really? Okay.

And here's the thing. We've been debating back and forth. If you decide. Our financial advisor said to wait because of our interest. Yeah. If that would hold true, you'd go borrow $500,000 against the condo and invest it all with his financial advisor. Right.

We were saying we could lose all that money quickly and not have it anyway yeah i don't think you're going to lose it all if it's invested well i'm not suggesting that but my point of bringing that up is he's leaving risk out of the equation okay and uh so it's naive something happens when your home is paid off deep down inside that people like him don't grasp. Right. And so here's the thing. If you don't live in the condo long term, when you sell it, they're going to give you a check at closing.

Right. We're going to live here the rest of our lives. You're not losing the money, though. It's not going away. Right. You just changed its form. It's now in a fixed asset called real estate rather than in a more liquid

asset called an investment and so yeah i'd write a check by the close of business today and scream out on the beach i'm debt free there you go just like that by the way if you want to do your debt free scream around here whether you come into the lobby physically like some people do or whether you call in with your debt-free scream, you have to get on the schedule. You can't just wander here and do it because most days are booked up way out there, and you need to get in touch with Kelly Daniel, our associate producer. You can find all of that on the website at DaveRamsey.com. We do not take any more than one debt-free scream an an hour and i did notice we didn't have one this

hour so that tells me that you know you might get in but i don't know exactly what the lineup is some of them are further out than others and people get you know you got to schedule it usually about six weeks out roughly usually and of course you have to really be debt free and not be using credit cards and stupid stuff and that kind of thing because we will not have you on and endorse stupidity it's not kind of the purpose of it's kind of not the purpose of the debt-free scream it's just not kind of it's not the purpose of the debt-free scream the purpose of that free scream is to cause people to believe they too can live without debt not they too can sort of kind of do stuff that's not what we do so anyway uh you just click on daveremsey.com click on the show and the radio show and there's a place there to fill out and get in touch with kelly about doing

your debt-free screen you can also email her at dave on air at daveremsey.com she'll get back to you there and show you how to fill it all out andre is with us in lexington kentucky hey andre what's up hey dave how you how you doing? Better than I deserve. How can I help? It's good. I'm calling because I got turned on to you not too long ago. So me and my wife are in baby step two, going to be debt-free in about nine months,

about this time, September. And so as with most of your listeners, once they listen to you, they want everybody they know to get on. And so with me, it's my mom. So right now she has a car that she's like $15,000 in debt. She bought a while ago, it was like $40,000. And she had some school debt, and she's been out of school since probably I was early 20s.

I'm 28 now. And so she still has that. So her, I'm trying to get her motivated to like get out of debt. And I wanted some advice on that. What she's doing is, she likes to buy gifts for people. She's like a gifter. anytime uh something comes up like my brother just had his 30th and she paid everything for the the party and one time we were in uh florida a few years ago and she on a whim bought my aunt like a couch set and put it on like a monthly payment for like three to five years so things like that so i just wanted some advice on how to get her motivated. How old are you?

How old am I? How old are you? I'm 28. 28. How old is she? She's 58. Okay. She's about the same age as me and my kids.

Okay. Yeah. Most kids in their 20s don't have credibility with their parents to discuss this. We call it the powdered butt syndrome. Once someone's powdered your butt, they don't want your opinion on money or sex. Most of the time. Okay. Now, there's rare exceptions to that.

Obviously, we are a money-teaching family, so we end up having all these conversations back and forth. But we're weird. This is the Ramsey thing going on. But aside from that, most families, it's very difficult for her to hear advice from you unless she asks. So the trick is to get her to ask without you in any stretch of the imagination wagging your finger. Now, so what you do is you change hats for a minute. Pretend like you had a friend at church. Let's make it a guy, okay, that's in his 50s, and he's doing this stuff.

You would never have the son-to-mother or son-to-father conversation with that person. You would have to have a very delicate dancing around the edges trying to get them to see that they might could change. You can't come up to a good friend at church and go, you're an idiot. You give all your money away. You had no sense at all buying that couch or buying that birthday party. What is wrong with you? That's what's going through your head, right? You would never do that. But you might do that to your mom if you're never do that but you might do that to your mom if you're not careful or she might do that to her son if she's not careful so but we don't do that in other conversations we're much more uh careful

and persuasional and so the best way i know to do that is two things one is figure out if there's someone somewhere that has credibility with her that can speak to her about this because it's likely not you. The second thing you can do, if it is you, is the way you approach it with anyone, really, if you're smart, is just don't talk about how dumb they are. Don't talk about their stuff, their problem, the thing they did. Talk about how dumb you were. I used to do this man i used credit cards for everything i bought stuff for people i couldn't afford to buy i did this i did that and man i got on this plant i'm on this every dollar app doing my budget i went to this class and i'm

doing this and i'm doing that and we sold this and we got an extra job and man i paid off 42 000 worth of debt and man i am having a blast life is so good and you know what that person will say if you start talking about you and how you used to be dumb but now you're winning you know what they always do you know what they always do they always say wow that's so cool how did you do that right yeah i had a good friend lost 172 pounds last year last two years really he lost a backstreet boy right i mean he lost he lost yeah and you know what everybody says to this guy i mean he's a big old fat guy and now he's in great shape you know you know what everybody says to him how did you do that because almost everyone wants to be in at least a little bit better shape and so they at least want to hear his inspiring story hopefully

it would apply to me when i hear his story and so i want to ask him how did you do that so you got to get her to ask you how did you do that and the way you do that? So you've got to get her to ask you, how did you do that? And the way you do that is you've got to go win. You get yourself winning, and then you've got a story to tell. Instead of, hey, I just heard this stuff on the radio, and the guy says you're stupid, Mom. Although it might be an accurate statement, it's not the way to persuade people. So talk about how – no one can argue with your story. Tell your story.

Tell your story. Your success story. Your testimony, if you will. And people will listen to your testimony. Particularly if it's a good story. You know, it was hard. It was hard to get out of that. But we did it.

We did this. We did that. Oh, man, I feel so much better. 20 years I've had a car payment. Now was hard to get out of that. But we did it. We did this. We did that. Oh, man, I feel so much better. 20 years I've had a car payment. Now I don't have a car payment. I had a credit card my whole adult life. Now I don't have one. I feel so much better.

A friend of mine, last week, he said he was gluten-free, and he said he never felt so good in his life. You know? It's so much better. Almost made me want to do it. Not quite, but almost. But that's how it's done. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Hey guys, this is Blake Thompson, Chief Production Officer for the Dave Ramsey Show.

Here's a tip. To keep from missing Dave's classic facial expressions to some of those calls, make sure you watch him live. Here's a tip to keep from missing Dave's classic facial expressions to some of those calls. Make sure you watch him live. Just visit Dave Ramsey dot com slash show each day from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern.