The Ramsey Show - App - Don't Wait on External Forces to Fix Your Life! (Hour 2)

Episode Date: June 24, 2020

Home Buying, Debt, Relationships, Home Selling, Retirement Tools to get you started:  Debt Calculator: http://bit.ly/2QIoSPV Insurance Coverage Checkup: http://bit.ly/2BrqEuo Complete Guide to Budgeting: http://bit.ly/2QEyonc Interview Guide: http://bit.ly/2BuGnZE Check out other podcasts in the Ramsey Network: http://bit.ly/2JgzaQR 

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Ramsey personality Dr. John Deloney is my co-host today here on the air. He and I will be taking your calls about your life and your money. It's common sense for your dollars and cents. Please don't expect anything to be highly sophisticated and confusing. That's what we do well, Dave.

We do the basics, and we do them very steadily. That's right. And repeatedly, Dave. We do the basics, and we do them very steadily. That's right. And repeatedly. The tortoise always wins. And we are, you know, some of the most profound life-changing things that will ever happen to you are really freaking easy to understand but hard to do because they deal with the person in your mirror. And that's what we're here to do. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

Dwayne is with us in South Dakota. Hi, Dwayne. How are you? Hey, guys. Thanks for taking my call. And the basics do work because thanks to you guys, we're everyday millionaires. Woo-hoo! All right.

Way to go, hero. Well, thanks. You're my hero. We were going to be on the cruise with you guys. I was, too, man. I was, hero. Well, thanks. You're my hero. We were going to be on the cruise with you guys. I was too, man. I was too. Hey, my question is, my wife, Nancy, retired from federal law enforcement about six months ago. And we have money in TSP, and we have money with different companies and cash and stuff.

And we want to know, when can we start living like no one else? Because we've taught your class for four different years. Well, then you know the answer. When? Well, I told her, I said, I think I know he's going to say, if you have a million dollars and you're earning $100,000 on it, you can spend that money. But, yeah, I just don't know when we can enjoy some of the money that we've put away.

Okay. So what is the size of your total nest egg if we piled up all of your money? Everything is just under 1.3. Good for you. So it's 1.277. How old are you guys? Nancy's 57, just retired federal law enforcement, and I'm 54. Well, congratulations.

You've done very, very well. So what is your definition of enjoying your money? What does that mean? Well, you know, I've been so dang tight, cheap, and frugal my whole life, Dave. I was going to guess that. That I just need, you know, I mean, we're even just wondering when we can take some money out to put siding on the house, you know, which would only be $10,000 to $12,000. And we don't know when it's okay to take little trips. You know, we're not doing, your trip would have been the biggest thing we've ever been on.

Yeah. Your cruise was the biggest thing we had ever pulled the trigger on. Okay, you're 54. If you completely – 57 and 54. If you take $20,000 every six months in cash into the backyard and burn it, you're still going to be worth over a million dollars. every six months in cash into the backyard and burn it, you're still going to be worth over a million dollars when you die.

Wow. Think about it, right? Mathematically. Okay. Yeah, for real. Well, that's why we're wondering. The point is you're not suggesting spending $700 thousand dollars on something you're suggesting spending seven thousand dollars and playing holes i mean we drive a car with 290 000 miles on it okay so here here's what's happened and it happened to me too i had the same exact experience and it took me a while to get over it it happened my getting over it was in two stages

the money became no problem but my emotions didn't keep up i still felt like i was still broke the math told me, my logical brain, that I wasn't. But my emotions and my spirit hadn't healed and grown as much as the money had grown. Does that make sense? Yes, absolutely. And that's all that's happened is you're still acting like you're broke. And I'm not talking about your actions. I'm talking about your attitude. Right, yeah. And so all it is is you haven't emotionally and spiritually accepted, you got a million three, you know?

Dwayne, here's the deal. This is going to sound like I'm bagging on you a little bit, and I'm not, but sometimes when you're following a plan, so let's say the financial peace plan, it gives you a goal, which is to be out of debt. And then it gives you another goal, which is to pay off your house. And then it gives you another goal to make a million dollars. And if you're not careful, you look up and 10 and 20 years later,

you've had somebody else's plan painting the picture of what your tomorrow looks like. And then you get a million dollars and you look at your wife and you go, whoa, what do we do now? Yeah. Okay. So you got 130,000 bucks coming in, 120,000, I'll round it down a year. That's $10,000 a month.

What percentage of that are you going to increase your generosity with? Yes. And what percentage of that are you going to increase your generosity with and what percentage of that are you going to increase your generosity to yourself with that's awesome and so what we do is we just go hey we're giving away that half million and we're gonna go buy something with another half million so shut up you know and we just we just take a percentage of something that's going on. Right. And we say that's important to us. And you always need to be enjoying money, giving money and investing money. You're not going to have any trouble with the investing.

You've got to turn up the dial on the enjoyment and on the generosity, because those two things are tied together, by the way. So think about a plan where you go to. I always say go to breakfast. They always give me a hard time here because some people go to dinner, to breakfast you go to breakfast a lot i love breakfast i do my good thinking in the morning um go to breakfast and call it your planning breakfast and maybe wait two or three weeks and drum it up make this a big deal and together y'all paint a picture of what the next year is going to look like dream Dream up a vacation. Actually, dream what it would look like to have the holes on the side of your house repaired

now that you have a million dollars. And start to live into something that you and your wife co-create together. And here's the thing. The chances of you screwing this up by overspending are zero. Not this guy, no. It's not in your wiring. You are not going by overspending are zero. Not this guy, no. It's not in your wiring. You are not going to overspend. You are not in Congress.

I guarantee you he got his ring with a Groupon. Guaranteed, man. And I love it. I love it. He's not going to overspend. No, you're not going to overspend. So just you allocate. A little version of this was when we started allocating clothing in a clothing envelope

when we first started doing the budget Sharon was the classic southern mom Scarlett O'Hare. The kids can get whatever they want and I'll just wear the drapes. You know, that's right. Classic crap. You know, this martyrdom stuff.

So we had to separate the clothing envelope. Sharon's clothing envelope and the kids. Huh. Because she wouldn't buy anything. And that gave her the freedom without feeling like she was screwing up our lives to actually buy herself something. Or not stealing from the kids. And not stealing, screwing up our lives, not stealing from the kids, not doing, I'm still

a good mom. It's freedom. And you, but you got to just give it a number and go, this $10,000, we're going on a trip. This $15,000, we're going to give away. This $20,000, we're going to put siding on the house. And you just put a number to it, and when you look at it, you go, oh, it didn't screw up our life. No.

And it gives you permission. Dwayne, take that wife on a vacation. Right now. Now. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Business leaders, now more than ever, we need people with the right skills to support our communities, especially the frontline workers who provide resources and care for those most in need. To help, LinkedIn is offering free job posts for healthcare and essential service organizations that need to quickly fill critical roles with the people who help us all.

If you are hiring for one of these organizations, free job posts on LinkedIn can help you quickly find the right people for your frontline. LinkedIn Jobs can help by screening candidates for skills and experience you're looking for and putting your job post in front of qualified people who have what you're looking for so you can find the right person to quickly fill critical roles. To post a health care or essential service job for free, or if you're in another industry and have hiring needs, visit linkedin.com slash ramsey.

LinkedIn.com slash ramsey. Terms and conditions apply. open phones this hour this is the dave ramsey show my co-host dr john deloney ramsey personality has your insurance company ever bumped your car insurance rate for no freaking reason? Oh, that is so maddening. Man, yes. Well, you don't have to put up with this. Jump online, even if they haven't bumped your rate, and check it because you're probably overpaying. If you don't shop your insurance pretty regularly on your homeowners and your car insurance in particular, these rates move around and there's a good chance you're overpaying.

Jump online at DaveRamsey.com. Endorsed local providers. That means that we endorse them they're local they provide you with help in some area in this case insurance they're independent insurance agents they will shop around get you the best possible deal and you can save around 700 bucks on average that's what most people do when they go to one of these elp so check it out hundreds of dollars at risk davramsey.com slash elp don't put it off say never again never again am i going to be caught in this situation never again never again you know the important thing about never again dave is when this clears up whatever whatever happens something else will happen and then something else is going to happen after that and we don't know where it's going to come

from or what it's going to be there's always good times and there's always bad times right that's about the only thing you can count on right it's change so plan for it yeah it's the only constant is change and just yeah and you got to have principles that work in good times and principles that work in bad times. And the principles that don't, that only work in one or the other will bite you. Yeah, those aren't principles. They're just, you know, they're fear-based or they're greed-based, one or two, and you're getting there. So I love talking to Dwayne. Been saving and saving and saving, and at 54 years old, he's got a million three.

His wife just retires at 57. He's 54. And he's having trouble letting go of the money and emotionally enjoying the money. When we did the study, the research study for Hogan's book, Everyday Millionaires, and we talked to 10,000 millionaires and got detailed research airtight research process unquestionable results one of the things we found and i thought about you um yesterday morning i was reading a book i was going through that you know i put it down but it reminds some old basic psychology stuff that this guy had woven in.

And I'd forgotten this phrase, but you know it. I mean, I remember taking psych and school and graduate level stuff. But this idea of locus of control, psychology term, all it means, folks, is just where do you perceive you are being controlled from, right? Right. And what do you perceive your sphere of control is? Is, yeah. And so, you know, I can control a certain proportion of my life.

If I think I can control everything, then I have a self-centered locus of control. If I'm a victim and everyone controls me and I have no control over anything, then the locus of control of my life is in someone else's camp. You're right. You're surrendering your destiny when you surrender your locus. Is that right? Have I got that fairly close? Close enough, yeah.

Well, you can correct me. Go ahead. No, it can be external or internal. Yeah. Okay. And so external or internal locus of control. And so, but a toxic version of either one where the reality is, is that there's always outside variables that do impact us. Right.

And the reality is there's a certain portion of our life that is our destiny that's up to us. Right. We have to control the controllables. And a guy like Dwayne has controlled the controllables to the point that he's had unbelievable success. Right. to the point that he's had unbelievable success right and uh i get so aggravated really by both camps where they think that you know you can do anything if you just believe you can and i you know that that's a nice platitude and it's generally true but i'm not going to get

to play in the nba i'm five foot whatever and i'm not that athletic and i'm 60 okay and so i'm not gonna what i would just because i've dave and i'm not gonna i'm not gonna make it on survivor and i'm not gonna make it on whatever no matter how positively i think about it sure i don't have those talents i don't have those physical abilities mental abilities whatever it is and so it's not totally up to me right and so that's the reality but to say that nothing is in my control is total victimhood right and people get really upset when we tell them they can actually win with money that it is in your control you can make different decisions yeah and it tends to land in two camps there's a camp that tells you hey listen don't worry about

anything we'll take care of you and that's dangerous and then there's a camp that says you know you are responsible for everything and you can do it all by yourself and you don't need other people you don't need relationships you don't need other stuff you don't need connection you don't need any of this and that's need relationships, you don't need other stuff, you don't need connection, you don't need any of this, and that's dangerous too, right? And it's just kind of pushing things back into, yeah, you can control a lot more than you think you do and you control a lot less than you think you do and hold both things loosely.

We say it here at Ramsey Solutions, pray like it all depends on God and work like it all depends on you, right? That's St. Ambrose's quote, supposedly. Work real hard, do the best you can, follow these principles, and over time, they work. Yeah. But it is, you know, my friend Rabbi Lappin, Orthodox Jewish rabbi that comes on here occasionally and hangs out with us, does some teaching with us occasionally,

talks about this idea from God's perspective of money, Jewish view of God's perspective of money. It is not good that man should be alone. And the transaction with money causes you to be in community in a positive way, to learn to play well with others. To cause money to transact. I've never heard that. I like that. It causes God to smile that his children are playing in the backyard together. In order to cause this thing called money to be transferred.

And you build relationships and you build connectivity. So you aren't the Lone Ranger. The Lone Ranger had Tonto, by the way. So, you know, I mean, you're not by yourself. It is not completely up to you. But to surrender and sit and wait on external forces to fix your life, you will never be Dwayne. Never. Never.

And, in fact, what you end up doing is you realize that you're never going to be Dwayne, so you start playing Dwayne. And you start driving things that you can't afford. Or you're mad at him. duane so you start playing duane and you start driving things that you can't or you're mad at him or you get yeah you make duane the bad guy yeah he's well all those old rich people he should he should buy some he should give some of that money away and you have all these opinions about duane's success because you got no freaking life of your own you little troll you know and that's exactly what happens you land on twitter as a troll right tall poppy syndrome all tall poppies that grow taller than the others must be cut down must be cut down because i cannot abide anyone else's success since i don't believe

i can have it that's called envy jealousy is i want what you have envy is i don't want you to have what you have because i don't think i can It is one of the seven deadly sins if you're a Catholic. And I think in general, it is one of the seven deadly sins, period. That's right. And it is rampant in our culture, and it is driving the political rhetoric, and it is driving some of these discussions that should have been had in a more civil manner on what is right and what is wrong and how people are mistreating each other because it's envy. I don't think I can have what you have. The whole wealth inequality movement is envy-based. It is not based in compassion.

It's based in those people are successful. I don't think I can have it, so they shouldn't either. And that's the mentality, and that is the textbook definition of envy. And all that has to do with this locus control discussion where, you know, I feel defeated. I feel overwhelmed. I feel put upon. I feel disenfranchised. I don't feel like I have any control over my own destiny.

And all the people around me in my life continue to tell me I don't have any control over my destiny, meaning I am a living, breathing, walking victim. And so I'm going to engage and tear everything down that someone else built. Because that's the way to flatten the land out. We can either build buildings. We can build communities. We can strive towards goals that raise my stuff up, it's easier to just burn everybody's down. That's the easiest way to level the field.

And you have to put up with me because I'm disenfranchised and I have a right to be mad. No, I don't. You're just a sad little envious victim. Finding someone new to hate. You need to rework your wiring, baby, because that locus of control thing, yes, the interaction with community is part of the success.

Yes, other people helping other people is part of success. But part of success is you get up, you leave the cave, you kill something, you drag it home. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. folks i love telling you about well-made well-thought-out products today i'm talking about grip six belts i don't know about you but i'm not a fan of traditional belts they never fit right and they're uncomfortable grip six belts are unique. Owner BJ designed a truly modern, minimalist belt made of high-quality materials with no holes, no flap, and no bulk. And the buckles come in really cool designs and are interchangeable. I personally own these belts in different styles, and talk about affordability,

Grip 6 belts come with a lifetime guarantee. And that means if you no longer like or fit the style of your belt you can replace them for free plus i like the way these guys do business grip six is determined to help build and modernize american manufacturing to learn more and get this month's dave ramsey, visit Grip6.com. That's Grip6.com. Thank you for joining us, America. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today here on the air. Brian is next.

Brian, in Illinois, how can we help? Good afternoon, gentlemen. I hope all is well. It is, sir. How can we help? I'm 48 gentlemen. I hope all is well. It is, sir. How can we help? I'm 48 years old. I'm a truck driver. I'm in baby step four, but the accountants are free and minimal.

I just started in February. I'm home 34 to 56 hours, and I'm trying to figure out if I should buy a house or not because I can't justify buying one because I'm only home for 34 hours. 34 hours a week, a month? A week I'm only home. Okay. Every weekend because we have to do what we call a DOT restart. Exactly.

So I'm basically on the road more than I am home. Yeah. Okay. So you're an over-the-road driver and you're home on the weekends, and I am home. Yeah. Okay. So you're an over the road driver, you're an over the road driver and you're home on the weekends. And should you buy a piece of real estate? Is that, is that where we are?

Correct. Because I'm living with my parents right now because of that. I'm because all my mail's going there and it's just easier to do that. I was one of your products of, uh, shacking up with someone and things didn't work out. And now I'm at that point that i'm afraid to buy a house because of that and that was over 10 years ago yeah

it's okay with me if you don't buy a house right now it's going to sit empty more than it's not i mean you can rent a cheap cheap place apartment to camp 34 hours a week or you can stay with mom and dad 34 hours a week you're not really living with your parents you're really living in a truck correct or do i just load up on my 401k since i just started that in february yeah i mean and you can pile up some cash so that if there's a transition in your life at some point and you're home more then you would buy a property. But in terms of the actual use of a residence, you don't have much use for one, right? Correct. How is staying at home with your folks?

Everybody getting along, doing well? Yeah, things are bad because my dad is a veteran, and he's not doing too well. So they brought him up to a nursing home. So I'm kind of helping my mom out with, you know, cutting the grass, doing the chores around the house because she can't do that either. Now, that's a good noble thing. Yeah, that's noble. It's a great blessing that you have a place to camp.

Doesn't cost you anything. And a great blessing is you can serve them. Are you feeling weird that you're 34 and still crashing at home? Is that what this is? I mean, is that the distill? 48, yes. Oh, 48, there you go. Yes.

Okay. So what I would... I mean, I lived on my own for 10 years, and I do miss that. But then again, with being on the road, it's almost... I really don't... I can't justify buying something. Where in Illinois do you live? I'm up by the border of Wisconsin and Illinois, so I'm right on the border.

So what can you rent a one-bedroom apartment for? The cheapest I've seen is about $600 to $700, and obviously on up. Yeah. What do you make? I make $68,000. Okay. I mean, if it helps you with your identity and you want to rent an apartment that's okay it's not the end of the world but i don't think there's like a requirement on you from a financial perspective to say you are unwise if you don't buy a house that since you're never there that's kind of dumb right i wouldn't know now what i would

think here's the thing you could think about doing uh what can you buy uh what's your mom's house worth uh i'm i'm guessing 150 yeah okay so you know why don't we have this go why don't we be putting some money aside for retirement and start saving to pay cash for a house now are you talking about above and beyond that 20 for retirement because that's where i'm at right now 15 15 okay there's baby step four i'm sorry that's what that's i'm sorry that's what i got right now i got the 15 yeah i got a four percent match great and then you know if you but if you want to have a goal and say you know i'm gonna help mom with the grass because dad's sick and i'm gonna camp here for a little while but you in your mind you know i'm gonna help mom with the grass because dad's sick and i'm gonna

camp here for a little while but you in your mind you say i'm 48 and i feel weird about that so the way to offset the weird is i got a plan and my plan is while i'm helping mom i'm gonna pile up some cash and pay cash for a house because if you paid for cash for a house and it's out there and you were never there it wouldn't be that big a deal right right that'd be a whole different thing that was that was one option too is just buy the house and rent it out while i'm on the road and this way if i do when i do retire i have it paid for yeah you could have well and you could have roommates and stuff that took care of it while you're going through the week and it doesn't the pipes don't freeze and all that crap you know and so yeah i mean you know a couple roommates in there and it would pay its way out.

That wouldn't be a bad thing either. And you could still run across town and mow mom's grass. I mean, yeah, it's I probably would think about that one. That's not a bad idea there. And the point is what you're the way your life is today is not the way it's going to be in five years. Stuff's going to change. And so this is a temporary thing. I do not want you going into retirement without a paid-for house.

So we've got to work towards that one way or another. That's the idea because that's one of the elements of people having a good, solid retirement. But it's a good question. It's a good discussion. Thanks for calling. Emily's with us in Washington. Hi, Emily. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.

Hi. I just want to say I'm really nervous, but I'm really grateful to be talking to you right now. Well, we're honored you called. You'll be okay. We've never lost a patient. I always hear you say that, and it really does make me feel better. So my father-in-law passed away last Thursday, and my husband's family lives down in Virginia. So, you know, we're opposite sides of the country. But we're here and just trying to figure out how we can help them. We're on Baby Step 2, but they still owe like $37,000 on their house, and they don't have money, and he didn't have any life insurance,

and my husband's two little brothers are still at home. So just trying to figure out what we can do to help without hurting us. So, yeah. Well, the truth is mathematically, from what you're telling me, there's not a lot you can do, right? You simply don't have a lot of margin, right? Yeah. I mean, you want to, and I want you to want to.

That makes you a good person. But you don't have $10,000 a month laying around. No, not at all. So how old is your mother-in-law? So she is 39. 39. And what does she do for a living? So she used to work in like a nursing home and stuff, taking care of people there.

But now she only has a few clients and she goes to their houses and only makes a few hundred a month. My father-in-law was the breadwinner of the family and paid for everything. He made about $40,000 a year. Here's the thing. This is a fresh, sad situation. It's raw right now. And the emotions of it are very overwhelming. Okay?

Since I'm not in the middle of it, I see it through a different lens than you see it through right now. Because you're in the middle of all the pain. And the fear for the little boys. And the fear for the young widow, 39 years old. And I get all of that. Here's your cold fact, though, outside of all the pain. This lady, as soon as we can get her to where she can breathe again, is going to have to get a job.

Yeah. That simple. And she's got a house payment to pay, and she's got two boys to raise. You simply do not have the money to support that family unit. Even if you wanted to, and you do want to, you want to help, but you just do not have the money to write them a check every month of enough size to offset the fact that she earns no income. She's about to find her new career at 39 years old because at a very young age, she lost her husband.

I'm sorry. That sounds very cold and very direct, but that is the net result of the math. And what you can do right now is to rally around your husband. Yeah. And to be there for him as he supports his mom, as he gives her. That advice. Truth. Right. That same advice as he loves his little brothers, as he gives her that advice, truth, right?

That same advice as he loves his little brothers, as he mourns the passing of his dad. That's where your heart, that doesn't cost money, that costs presence and time. But your broken heart and your sadness does not cause money to magically multiply in your personal checkbook, even though I wish it did. So hold on. We're going to pay for her to go through financial peach university and you're going to sign her up kelly's going to help you do that folks save cash by fixing your major appliances yourself get your parts from my friends at appliance parts pros we just heard from a listener who said he saved his family at least by fixing your major appliances yourself. Get your parts from my friends at Appliance Parts Pros. We just heard from a listener who said he saved his family at least $500 by getting his parts and expert advice to fix his leaky fridge and dishwasher

from Appliance Parts Pros. These guys carry over 2 million appliance and outdoor power equipment parts and offer easy returns. Order your parts today at AppliancePartsPros.com. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, my co-host this hour. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Leanne is in Washington. Hi, Leanne. Welcome to the show.

Hi. Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? I have a question. I have been an employee at a national retailer for 30 years. I'm in Baby Step 2, And I have enough in my savings

To pay my 401k loan off But I'm worried about COVID and what's happened You know during this To retailers Should I pay my 401k loan off How stable is your job It's stable

I've So this is a general worry It is not a specific. Your worry is general about the COVID situation. It is not specific to your life. Correct. It's more about keeping some savings just in case I lost my job. Yeah.

So what do you make? $133 before bonuses. How much is in savings? I have about five. So I have about a little over a month of Baby Step 3 saved. But you're not on Baby Step 3 because you still have a loan. So you have a loan that's how much? How much is your loan?

My loan is $10,000, and I have $13,000. I have about $16,000 in savings. Oh, I thought you said you had $5,000 in savings. I'm sorry. I wasn't including the money that I have to pay the 401k loan off. Okay, so you have $21,000 in savings. Did I get that right? No, I'm sorry. I have $16,000 in savings and the loan is $10,000. Okay, what's the $5,000? Just extras that I started to put towards the baby step three.

She wasn't counting the original. She already counted the loan out. All right, I'm sorry. But if I was to look at your bank account, you would have the 16 plus the just extra five? No? No, just 16. Okay, that extra five is included in 16. So what you're saying is after you pay the loan off, you got five or No? No, just 16. Okay, that extra five is included in 16.

So what you're saying is after you pay the loan off, you got five or six? Yes. Okay, pay the loan off. You got any other debt? Okay. No, zero. You make $130,000 a year. You don't have any payments.

Yes, exactly. I know, and then all that will go. Pile up cash. Finish your emergency fund. You'll be fine. You're going to be fine. Thank you. And hey, Leanne. Yeah, it should be done by the end of the year oh easy yeah and and leanne dave said something

important that i want you to hear at the very beginning of this call he said is this a real worry or an imagined worry real worries are real and imagined worries are things that we construct in our heads when we watch too much news and we start thinking, well, then this happens and then this could happen. And what about if that happens? Focus on real worries. Focus on things you can control and then let the other stuff go. Let the other stuff go. The other things are going to kill you.

Yeah, there's, you know, this vague sense that something bad may happen. Yes. Is a general worry. And most of the time that's overdone right uh because it's just human nature to have this little black part of our soul that he tries to eat us alive we've got a part of our brain just scanning for that all the time we're just looking for stupid crap right now and so uh or for scary crap or for well i mean dale carnegie wrote a famous book on worry and he said famously 80 of what we worry about never occurs never 20 is actual real stuff to worry about spend your energy working on that and let that other 80 go

right and that's that was the same point you're making so yeah you're doing a good job you're doing a good job so but but what what dr john's telling you is separate this thing and say facts are your friends the facts are that your particular job seems to be pretty safe right now those are facts nobody ever has a hundred percent security as safe as they can ever that's right there's no such thing i work for the state you don't have a hundred percent security because have you noticed who's running it you know i mean really open phones at 888-825-550-225 any one of them all right manny is with us in california hey manny how are you hey good afternoon dave i'm doing good thank you good how can we help i got a question uh me and my wife own a townhome together and and we currently rent it out, and we currently live with my mother-in-law with our two children.

So we owe about $90,000 left on the loan, and there is a little bit of equity left, probably about $200,000 if If we were to sell the condo, we want to buy a first home. Okay. I want to get your thoughts on that. Yesterday. You're already late. I was going to say the day before that. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Why do you have a home and you live with your mother-in-law? With two kids. Well, it's a single-law with two kids. It's a single, it's a single bedroom townhome. Yeah. Why didn't you sell it and buy a house back then before you ever thought about moving in with her? Oh, my, my son was, uh, born a little premature. So it kind of put a little bit of a delay on time. And, uh, we got really good support at my in-laws house.

And a built-in nurse. Okay. How long ago was that? I'm Okay. How long ago was that? I'm sorry? How long ago was that? In 2012. It was about 10 years ago. Eight years ago.

So you've been living with them for eight to 10 years? Eight years we lived with my parents, yes. Okay. You do what you want to do, Manny. I'm out of there, buddy. About seven and a half years ago, as soon as my baby got, wherever the baby was okay. And I'm sorry you guys went through that.

It's obviously turned out okay, and it's obviously turned out to be a good story. But, yeah, you cannot use that as an excuse eight years later while you're still there. So it doesn't work. Do something real real real nice for your mother-in-law yeah as you leave yeah she's been real she's put up with you decades worth of nice eight years yeah yeah you need to get like that's like more than just a bouquet of

flowers or something so yeah this is all right uh good point elise is with us in Ohio. Hi, Elise. How are you? Hi, I'm fine. Thank you so much, guys, for taking my call. My question is, is it too late for us to retire with dignity? We feel God has given us wisdom. Now it's all your teachings, but still feel anxiety with the lack of knowledge and how to invest. And what to invest in. My husband is only investing 10% in the last five years. We've been married 30 years.

We've been in FPU. We use every dollar to the nth degree. How old are you? Well, I'm 55. My husband's older. How old is your husband? 70. Okay.

And are you working outside the home? I am in the midst of getting a job. He used to make $100,000, and now he's with Social Security. He's in a full-time job. He's only being 50. So do you have any debt other than your home? No. We have $15,000 for our emergency fund.

You've done great. We have no debt. Okay. And how much is in your nest egg where he's been putting the 10% away? Only $10,000. Okay. So that's the house that's on fire. That's what you've got to pour the gas on right there. You've got to get with it.

We've got to get after that one. And that's with your new job and his old job and any money we can find in the budget, we pile up that nest egg. Because it's not going to be him left without you. It's going to be mathematically, based on your age differentiation, you're going to be left without him. That's the probability. You agreed?

Mm-hmm. He's very healthy and very smart. I know, but I'm not predicting his death tomorrow. I's the probability. You agreed? Mm-hmm. He's very healthy. I know, but I'm not predicting his death tomorrow. I'm just saying he's 70 and you're 55, okay? So we're doing this for you. And so we're going to be on beans and rice. You've done a great job building that you said you've gotten the wisdom from Financial Peace University. I'm so proud of you.

You've really laid a solid foundation, and now you're down to baby step four on steroids. Just pile up that money and those investments, and the more you stack in there and the higher that stack gets, the more sense of peace and security you're going to have on the financial side of your life. You've done a really phenomenal job getting to this point because you got a late start on all this. I'm proud of you very very well done good stuff that puts us out of the dave ramsey show in the books our thanks to james childs our producer kelly daniel our associate producer and my co-host dr john deloney ramsey personality

this is the dave ramsey show This is The Dave Ramsey Show. You can listen to Dave, Rachel Cruz, Chris Hogan, or the rest of the Ramsey Network anywhere with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone. Catch all of our full shows, browse by topic, or send clips to your friends. Head to the App Store and download the Ramsey Network app.