The Ramsey Show - App - Even NFL Players Can Go Broke! Your Money Is YOUR Responsibility (Hour 3)

Episode Date: August 6, 2019

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Open phones this hour at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. NFL star and likely Hall of Famer Adrian Peterson in debt. Quote, taken advantage of by those he trusted. Unquote.
Starting point is 00:01:02 This report says Adrian Peterson is reportedly in debt, a shocking revelation for a future Hall of Fame running back who has made more than $100 million during his career. Peterson, who last played for the Vikings in 2016, is the focus of a report from the Athletic Paywall that claims he's being sued in Pennsylvania because he did not pay back $5.2 million in loans, in addition to two other legal matters where he's been ordered to pay creditors a combined $3 million. The $3 million owed to creditors includes $600,000 left on a $2.4 million loan from a Minnesota bank. In a statement to Pro Football Talk, Peterson's attorney said, the truth behind Adrian Peterson's current financial situation is more than is being reported at this time,
Starting point is 00:01:57 while adding it is yet another situation of an athlete trusting the wrong people and being taken advantage of by those he trusted. Peterson is entering his second season with the Washington Redskins and is due to make $1 million in salary after receiving a $1.5 million signing bonus earlier this year. According to Over the Cap, Peterson's career earnings, not including endorsement money, totals $100,221,471. About five years ago, ESPN's documentary series profiled athletes who go broke despite making millions. The film highlighted a 2009 Sports Illustrated article that claimed 78% of former NFL players had gone bankrupt
Starting point is 00:02:41 or were under financial stress because of bad investments, freeloaders, and ongoing medical problems. Yet another one of these stories of famous people, athletes and actors and so forth, who made $100 million and have nothing. It just breaks my heart. It's just sad. Long before Adrian Peterson entered the league, Chris Hogan and I were attempting to work with the NFL
Starting point is 00:03:14 and work with the players to try to keep this from happening to them because this has been a stereotype almost among professional athletes of all types and um there's really only two types of famous people that become rich there i mean i know a bunch of them like hundreds of athletes and um you know hollywood actor types and uh certainly music people i I'm in Nashville, so I know a ton of those guys. And there's two types. They're Adrian Peterson. They have no idea what's going on. Someone else is managing everything, and they lose it all.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Or they're very savvy business people, and they do a good job watching over their business. And they actually know what's going on. They're not trying to out-earn someone else's stupidity. They actually have a clue what's going on. And in the NFL, when you walk into the locker room, and it's not based on race, and it's not based on anything that's really tangible.
Starting point is 00:04:20 Some of it has to do with upbringing, probably. But when we walk into an NFL locker room, we really find two groups, very smart and very stupid. And there's just not a middle ground. There's nobody just kind of hanging out in the middle, sort of doing okay. I find people who are very savvy with their investments. They've got their act together. They may or may not agree with 100% of what I say, but they're really doing well, and they're going to come out of the league very wealthy.
Starting point is 00:04:45 And the rest of them, it doesn't matter what they make. They're going to lose it. You can tell. They are an accident looking for a freaking place to happen. I know that happens when I meet with young music stars because their careers and their income oftentimes grows faster than their emotional maturity and certainly faster than their financial understanding of things.
Starting point is 00:05:06 And so they turn it over to a manager. And I use the term lightly. In almost every case, you end up with nothing. And, you know, I remember we've got permission to tell this. I'm not mentioning any names of these other people that I've met with because I don't have their permission, but we've met with hundreds and hundreds of them. I had an NFL player in here. Gosh, it wasn't within the last year or so.
Starting point is 00:05:33 He and his wife came and sat down and was not a recognizable household name, but, you know, he played on Sunday. He didn't ride the bench, and he came in, hollered at Chris. Chris knew him from somewhere. And we sat in my conference room for just a few minutes. I had just a minute between a meeting. And he said, Dave, I'm just kind of ashamed to tell you where I am. And I'm like, well, where are you?
Starting point is 00:05:56 What did you do? How can we help? And what happened? And I figure he's getting ready to tell me all the stupid butt stuff he's done, like this Adrian Peterson article. And he says, I've got $32 million. And I said, okay. And what's wrong with this?
Starting point is 00:06:12 He said, it's all sitting in CDs in the bank. And I went, okay. But you've got $32 million. So I don't think there's anything to hang your head in shame about. You did more than almost anybody in the league does. Now, we'll work with you and help you get it invested and, you know, get you with an investment advisor, and you need to start understanding basic investments that you stay on top of. But you don't hang your head for having $32 million in CDs.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Because he just knew he should be doing something else with it. That was the only point. So here's the thing. The lesson for all of us is twofold in these Adrian Peterson stories. Number one, Adrian's not a bad guy. I don't know him personally, but he hasn't done anything that everybody else hasn't done, too. He just thought he could play football and somebody would take care of him. And, you know, all of us think the Lone Ranger's coming, that the Calvary's coming.
Starting point is 00:07:15 All of us think that someone's going to come along and take care of us. And that's lesson number one. Part of being a grown-up, whether you play football or play guitar or whether it's you, part of being a grown-up is knowing and realizing and acting on the fact that your money and your future is your responsibility. You cannot turn this over to someone else and walk away and expect anything but disaster. That's how people put money in stuff like Bernie Madoff. That's how people put money in ridiculous business ideas.
Starting point is 00:08:00 That's how they turn the money loose and they walk away and say, I've got a guy that takes care of me. No, you don't. You've got a guy that's a doofus and he's going to lose your money. The second rule is, not only is it your job to handle your own money and make sure you know where it's going, even with the advice of others. But the second rule is, you can't out-earn your stupidity. We all have the ability to be stupid beyond our income, no matter what our income is. You can't make enough to be stupid. You can't make that much money.
Starting point is 00:08:37 The stupid tax is too high. So, I'm sad for Adrian. This is awful. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. We've been voted one of the best places to work in Nashville 11 times. You want to know how we do it? Well, our team has been using LinkedIn jobs for years to find the best people from all over the country to come and help us change lives. Think about it.
Starting point is 00:09:14 LinkedIn has more than 600 million active members. I'm talking about people who come to LinkedIn to make connections, grow their careers, and discover new job opportunities. In fact, 90% of LinkedIn users are open to new opportunities, but not actively scanning job boards. This means LinkedIn Jobs gives you access to an entirely different demographic. Don't wait. One hire can change the direction of your company. Post a job today at linkedin.com slash Ramsey and get $50 off your first job post. That's linkedin.com slash Ramsey. Terms and conditions apply. Jennifer is in New York. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show, Jennifer.
Starting point is 00:10:12 Thank you, Dave. It's an honor to speak to you. Thank you so much for taking my call. My pleasure. How can I help? So my question is, my husband is going to be 66. I'm going to be 64. We are planning to retire or hoping to retire sometime in the next six months.
Starting point is 00:10:28 I have been an RN for the last 41 years. He has a pension. He has a 401. I have a 403B, and then we have other investments. My pension, I have a choice of taking a lump sum or a monthly. My annual would come to about $53,000 a year. The lump sum is $785,000. So my husband and I disagree. He feels that we will not be able to get the same return if we take the lump sum, whereas I'm in favor of taking the lump sum just so that we have it. There are choices where if something happens to me, I can make it so that he would get
Starting point is 00:11:09 half of it or a quarter of it or whatever, but then nothing goes to my kids or anything else. So my concern is or my preference is to take the lump sum. Okay. Well, you win the argument. Really? Yeah, you do. And here's why.
Starting point is 00:11:27 It's pretty simple. You're making about a 7% rate of return on your money with the pension. Okay? And when you die, you lose all the money. Correct. Okay. So if we roll it to an IRA, there are no taxes on it, and we put it in good mutual funds, and it performs at greater than 7%, you are the amount greater than 7% ahead, and you're $700,000 ahead when you die. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Does that make sense? Yes, it does okay and i my mutual funds have averaged for the last 30 years close to 12 so if you don't do that that's okay but you should be able to get you know an average of nine or ten in some good mutual funds if you sit down with a good investment advisor and get some help picking them and understand what you're investing in. But if you make 7% on the money and break even on it while you're alive, when you die, you're $700,000 ahead. That just makes sense.
Starting point is 00:12:42 I'm not leaving. I mean, I don't want my heirs to be a pension fund. Right, I understand. You're leaving them $700,000 when you die. No way. Right. That's horrible. So, no, I'm definitely getting it out of there.
Starting point is 00:13:03 But then you've got to be comfortable with the idea that you can make 7% on your money. I'm very comfortable with that. But you'll make more while you're alive and more when you're dead when you roll that out. And so I would roll it. Click on SmartVestor at DaveRamsey.com. I'm not in the investment business. But we have a group of, we call them SmartVestor pros, which are people in the investment business that we have gone through and vetted. They have the heart of a teacher.
Starting point is 00:13:30 They'll sit down with you and teach you and your husband and show you what I'm talking about and show you mutual funds that have long 20 and 30 and 40-year track records of making greater than 7%. And so that's all you've got to do. And then roll it to an IRA in mutual funds in that with one of those SmartVestor pros. When you put in your stuff at DaveRamsey.com at SmartVestor, it'll drop down a list. You pick which one you want to work with. Hey, thanks for the call. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Victor is with us in Texas.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Hi, Victor. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Good afternoon, sir. How are you? Better than I deserve. Can you speak directly into your phone? I'm having trouble hearing you. Nope.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Yes, sir. This is better. Much better. Thank you, sir. How can I help? My question is, I have a 15-month-old daughter. I've asked five different people and got ten different answers as far as college savings. So I was recommending what you recommended for college savings and is a
Starting point is 00:14:31 specific educational savings account. Are those tax benefits worth the lack of flexibility, I guess, of just going into an investment account? Okay, great. Well, way to go, of just going into an investment account. Okay, great. Well, way to go, Dad, saving for your kid. That's awesome, man. I love it. Okay, well, here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:14:50 You can do an ESA, an educational savings account, as an example to answer parts of your question. If you did that for 18 years and put in $2,000 a year, you would have put in about $36,000, 2 times 18. Does that sound right? Mm-hmm. Yes, sir. Now, if you put that in good growth stock mutual funds, like we teach you to do, you would have around $126,000 in there. Okay?
Starting point is 00:15:16 Mm-hmm. Now, that means that 90 of what's in there is growth, because you put in 36 of it. That 90 growth is tax-free. Taxes on 90 would be around 30. So it's going to save you about $30,000 if you use one of these. Does that make sense? Yes, sir. You see how I did that math?
Starting point is 00:15:38 Yes, sir. Okay, now you can do that with a 529. You can do that with an ESA. The ESA, 100% of the time, requires that you pick the investment to put the money in, and it doesn't move unless you move it. And so I like that. That's the type of investing I want you to do. Some of the 529s allow you to do the same thing.
Starting point is 00:15:58 You pick the investment in good mutual funds, like I'm suggesting, and it doesn't move unless you move it. The problem with the 529s is there's a bunch of different kinds of them. Some of them automatically move the money depending on the kid's age, and as they get closer to college, they move it to less risk, and it's stupid stuff that are not there and so on that you just don't want to put money in. So that's the thing. And if you pick the 529 that works like the ESA, you're going to have the exact same results.
Starting point is 00:16:30 And, again, one of our SmartVestor pros can help you put that together if you don't have an investment professional to help you do that. It's a very easy process to do. But you don't put it at a bank and make no money on it. And you don't do prepaid college with the state. That's a horrible idea, and you don't put it in something where they control the money and you can't move it, it's not flexible. The only lack of flexibility you've got is it has to be used for college. That's not a problem, though, because we're going to use it for college.
Starting point is 00:17:01 And I just told our kids all the time growing up, this is your college fund, this is your college fund, this is your college fund. So I basically brainwashed them that they were going to college. This is your college fund. And thank goodness all three of ours were college material, and they all three went to school, and they all three graduated in four years. It was like a miracle. It's called having a plan, right?
Starting point is 00:17:20 And, you know, it started when they were your kids' age. And so you're being very wise to start thinking about this, talking about it, making it part of your overall plan. So good job. Again, if you need some help, click SmartVestor at DaveRamsey.com and so forth. Hey, speaking of college, big announcement yesterday. We pre-launched or we launched the pre-sale of the brand new book from Anthony O'Neill, Debt-Free Degree. You heard me. Get a degree debt-free. Most of us believe that college is very important, even in the middle of this student loan crisis, even in all the trash and nastiness and stupid decisions people have had around college overall being smart is a good thing academics is a good thing overall
Starting point is 00:18:11 and so having a plan and you know working your way to get your kid into school a step-by-step guide to getting your kid through college without student loans the book is called debt-free degree it goes on sale yesterday. We will be shipping them. Street date when it actually is pub date is October the 7th, and so we'll ship it to you then. If you do pre-order, though, because you ought to pre-order now. We sold a bunch of them yesterday. You get the book for $19.99, and we're going to throw in $40 in free items. The Debt Free Degree eBook, which is a $10 value. Anthony O'Neill's wonderful
Starting point is 00:18:50 talk, How to Connect with Your Kid. Teaches you how to communicate with your kid in a way that will really hit home for them. That's a $13 value. Our premier Smart Parent event. Over two hours of video. Includes talks from Anthony O'Neill, Dr. McMeeker, pediatrician, mother, best-selling author of six books.
Starting point is 00:19:08 A $20 value. All of this. So $40 worth of stuff. Extra when you buy the $20 book as a pre-sale item. It's launched yesterday. Debt-free degree by Anthony O'Neill. We really can do this. We will really show you how.
Starting point is 00:19:29 DaveRamsey.com, AnthonyO'Neill.com, or call the Ramsey Concierge Team many families suffer by not having life insurance. It's not that they didn't care. It's just that they didn't know, so they did nothing. That's a huge mistake. Listen, husbands and wives, moms and dads, think about it. If you died, how would your family pay the bills, the mortgage, food, and plan for a better future? This is what life insurance is all about, and term life is the only way to go.
Starting point is 00:20:11 It's not expensive, and it's not complicated. Stop wasting money on cash value plans. You need 10 to 12 times your income in protection, and I recommend 15- or 20-year-level plans. I also only recommend Zander Insurance, and I have for over 20 years. These are the only people I personally use, and they only offer the plans I recommend. Call them at 800-356-4282 or get instant quotes online at zander.com. Trust me, these simple steps will let your family know how much you care. Sarah is in California.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Hi, Sarah. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you for taking my call, Dave. I really appreciate it. Sure. What's up? I am in a debt-free situation with the exception of my home mortgage and a home equity line of credit from my parents. My husband has since lost his job and between the taxes on my home and the mortgage, it is more than 50% of my net take-home pay. I'm about ready to
Starting point is 00:21:36 come into about $150,000. And my question is, should I pay off the loan from my parents in its entirety and have a little bit of cushion, or should I put that $150,000 towards my mortgage and refinance it so it can become more in line with what I can afford from a monthly payment? If you refinance it, would that pay off mom and dad? No, no. I would still have to owe mom and dad money. Okay. And what's your husband's employment prospects?
Starting point is 00:22:06 He's not going to be unemployed in perpetuation. It's been three years. Why? That's a whole different issue. Well, it's part of the equation. It is. It is. We're working through that.
Starting point is 00:22:24 So how much is your first, what's the balance on your first mortgage? Six hundred and eighty three thousand. OK. And what is your take home pay? My net is one ninety. So it's around one four one thirty. OK. 4-130. Mm-hmm. Okay. Doesn't sound like you can afford this house unless your husband gets a job.
Starting point is 00:22:56 In either one of these scenarios. Well, I've been making him work for three years, so it's just very tight. It's absurd. It is. So he either needs to get a job or you need to sell the house. Okay. That's really what's going on. I mean, the $150,000 just doesn't fix your problem either way.
Starting point is 00:23:20 You can't get $683,000 low enough that it makes sense on your income. It's going to be tough. I mean, it's a tough squeeze. So squeeze so yes i'd pay off mom and dad and if you want to refinance and and you probably can get it down a little bit on a you know put it on a 30 year or something but you're just you're you're treating the symptom agreed and you've got a you know you're gonna have to deal with this. The two of you are going to have to sit down and say, we're either going to have to address this or we're going to have to move this house. Because it's just untenable on the long term.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Yeah, you can pull anything off for a short period of time. And you've been using bailing wire and and duct tape and holding this thing together mathematically right it's not been comfortable or no that's an understatement you're being kind to yourself oh this is a pain i mean you're in a real high stress scenario here so yeah i'd pay off mom and dad because i here's the thing i think there's going to be an emotional and a mathematical relief uh beyond the 150 000 to be rid of having them looking at your situation through the lens of money and uh and you don't have the payment anymore okay and. And I think there's a, you know, no matter how kind and sweet they are, the borrower is still slave to the lender, and Thanksgiving dinner tastes different when you owe your parents money.
Starting point is 00:24:54 It sure does. You know, and it's very difficult for every little raise of an eyebrow to not be multiplied 100x and be judgmental, especially when you all are dealing with some obvious situations inside your household. So, yeah, I'm paying off mom and dad. That's going to give you the best lift. And, yes, if you want to refinance, that's fine. But ultimately, don't be in denial.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Ultimately, this house has got to go if he's not going to get reemployed for some reason or another. And it's time. Hey hey thanks for the call open phones at 888-825-5225 christy is with us in massachusetts hi christy welcome to the dave ramsey show hi dave thank you for taking my call sure what's up so my question um my husband and, we have three 401ks from previous employers that we've kind of had our heads in the sand and haven't done anything with for a few years. And we decided that we need to get serious and we're going to combine them. And we were speaking with a financial advisor and he said that we, well, I had asked him if we could pay out, well, transfer into a Roth and pay the taxes on it now, and he said not to worry about that. He said don't do that, that that wasn't the right thing to do.
Starting point is 00:26:13 And I'm just wondering, because it seems to me that that is what we should do. That would be the right thing to do if you're a 100% debt-free house and everything and have some extra money. So, no, we're on baby step two. No, you would not do that. I would roll it to a traditional IRA. Because you're creating a tax bill while you're trying to get out of debt. So he's telling you correctly.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Okay. I wouldn't create a tax bill while I'm trying to get out of debt. I want to get the debt paid off. If you've got extra money laying around and your house is paid off and you want to roll these things are you know go ahead and roll them to a traditional that's a fine thing to do and get them in some good high performing mutual funds and then later on you can roll them to a roth when you've got some extra money laying around in your baby step sevening it because that then mathematically this all starts to work but you don't want to have credit card debt and then
Starting point is 00:27:04 turn around have used money that you would have used to pay off the credit card to pay the IRS because you turned this into a Roth. That's like borrowing money on a credit card to do a Roth. No, we wouldn't do that. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. So, yeah, it's a tradeoff is the problem. But once you get your balance sheet clean, meaning there's no debt on the other side and you've got some money laying around and you want to just one way to invest is to convert this to Roth, and it grows from that point tax-free, that'll be just fine, and I would do that.
Starting point is 00:27:35 So, hey, very good question. Thanks for joining us. Kylie is next. Kylie's in Georgia. Hi, Kylie. How are you? Good. How are you?
Starting point is 00:27:44 Thanks for having me. Sure. What's up? Hey. How are you? Thanks for having me. Sure. What's up? Hey. So I got into an accident, and they were at fault. The claims adjuster called me back and gave me a total loss. I owe $7,000 on my car. They're offering me $5,500 to take the car, which leaves me with no car and money owed.
Starting point is 00:28:09 Or they're going to give me $3,500 for me to keep the car. What should I do? Okay. Have you looked up what your car is worth? Yes, it's worth between $5,000 and $7,000. Okay. So where did the $5,500 come from? That's what they offered me after the appraiser came out and looked at my car and looked at the damages.
Starting point is 00:28:42 My point is that that guess based on mileage and. My point is that that's what they decided the car is worth, and they are the ones having to give you money. Right. So what I want you to do is be real sure what this car is really worth, because that's what's OD. And if the car is really worth $6,500, I'm going to call them back and go, Ah, here's some evidence that says that your appraisal was wrong. I looked this up on Kelley Blue Book with the miles that I had and the equipment that packages that my car has, and I'll send you the printout.
Starting point is 00:29:17 It says $6,500. Oh, by the way, here's three of them for sale on traders.com, and they're all selling for $6,500 with similar mileage. If you find that, then you send the evidence to the adjuster, and you negotiate with them and explain to them that this $1,000 means a lot to you, and you need the other $1,000. And I'm kind of thinking they're lowballing you. Which company is this? It's through U-Haul.
Starting point is 00:29:46 I was hit by a U-Haul. Okay, so U-Haul is the... Rep West. Okay, all right. Yeah, I'm just guessing, but I want you to really know that you know. Either way, I'm going to take the total, and I'm going to borrow the money to cover the difference so you can get the title freed up,
Starting point is 00:30:03 and then go borrow a little money and get you a car. But don't borrow more than you had before. Borrow less than you had before. Get you a $3,000 car. And this has reduced your debt temporarily. And you'll clear the debt up, and then you'll save up and move up in car later. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. Our scripture of the day, Romans 5.8, but God demonstrates his own love for us in this.
Starting point is 00:30:59 While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Shauna Nyquist says, It's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What's hard is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about. Shauna is exactly right. The great motivator Earl Nightingale used to say, The problem with our goals is not what we're willing to do to hit them.
Starting point is 00:31:27 It's what we're willing to give up to hit them. Sherry is with us. Sherry is in Kentucky. Hi, Sherry. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure.
Starting point is 00:31:39 What's up? I have a quick question. Okay. All right. I have a 32-year-old daughter, a very bright daughter. We put her through college once, and she got her degree. We are now putting her through barbering school, and she's six months in. She still lives at home, never been married, loves it at home.
Starting point is 00:31:59 We started cutting the strings two years ago, and we her she had two years to get decide to go to school get through school and get out on her own so uh december 31st is her exit date good well she thinks that we are kicking her out and that you know no matter what we do we're not convincing her that we're doing this for her own good and my my question is, how do I let her know that we love her? And this is the best thing. She has an amazing boyfriend that he's Christian. He's asked her to marry him, wants to buy her a house. He wants to start a life with her. They love each other, but she's not wanting to move. So how do I, how do, how did my husband and I help her transition into her life whatever she chooses to do
Starting point is 00:32:48 for whatever reason she is choosing to not hear you you've already told her all of that yeah we told her and we told her she has to save her money we were given there $100 a week for school
Starting point is 00:33:04 get back and forth with gas, because she could only work part-time. We've quit that. We've cut that completely out. We don't give her any financial assistance at all. You are underperforming as a 32-year-old in our culture, dramatically underperforming, which means that we have done you harm by allowing you to live here.
Starting point is 00:33:23 I'm so sorry we brought you harm. I just love you too much to harm you anymore. You need to go be your own person and have the dignity of hard work and paying your own light bill and buttering your own bread on both sides after it comes out of the toaster. This is ridiculous. Okay. Now, how often should we ask her, she gets paid every week,
Starting point is 00:33:49 and how often should we ask her, hey, are you saving money? Hey, are you doing what you need to do? Do you know if she has any money? No, none. She has zero. If it wouldn't be for her boyfriend, she wouldn't have anything. Okay, so here's what I would tell her. She spends money like crazy. Here's what I would tell her. You have to move next week
Starting point is 00:34:10 unless you agree to save money out of every check and show us that you're saving money. Your rent is starting right now, and your rent is that you have to save money. Okay. If you're not willing to save money out of every check, you have to move next week. I'll be homeless. I'll be in the street.
Starting point is 00:34:34 I know. You'll figure it out. You'll figure it out. That's what I will hear. Yeah, you'll figure it out. I know. It's rough. But listen, we've talked to you and talked to you and talked to you.
Starting point is 00:34:47 And you're acting like you're a 12-year-old child. And it is time for you to grow up. Exactly. This is what it would sound like in our house. Yeah. Well, it's going to sound like that here, too. We put her through Financial Peace University. I bought the book, bought the audio book.
Starting point is 00:35:03 She won't re-listen to it. Created a budget planner for her, but if she doesn't use it, there's nothing I can do. Yeah, she refuses to participate in adulthood. Exactly. And, gosh, I don't know. I would just push her out. I would just say, listen, if you bring me your check on Friday and I want to see the money set aside out of your check into savings or you have to leave on Friday. I am done.
Starting point is 00:35:33 I have begged you and begged you. I've done stuff for you. We've paid for everything. This is over the top. We're bringing you harm. We're buying your misbehavior. We're paying for your misbehavior for you to continue to be an underperforming 32-year-old. I just love you too much to participate in your crazy land.
Starting point is 00:35:53 Okay. I'm not going to participate in crazy anymore. This is nuts. That's what my husband and I think as well because, I mean, it's just, you know. You guys are very sweet and very kind, and you've let it go on too long. Yeah, I agree. We both agree. We've been trying to do the right thing.
Starting point is 00:36:12 You have. You've set some real clear boundaries with some real clear timelines, but she's still not listening. And God help this boy if he marries her. Why is that? She needs to go out on her own and suffer just a little bit before she's marriage material this is not a marriage i mean can you imagine trying to raise this princess for the rest of
Starting point is 00:36:35 her life bless his heart i wouldn't want to yeah i mean he's got he i he she's not ready for marriage she she's not a viable adult yet and and so that and that none of this is you being mean or me being mean i'm being a little bit smart alec but it's just to reinforce what the inner voice is inside of you you've been saying these exact same things to yourself and i'm just trying to reiterate with my causticness that you're not crazy right because she may she makes us feel guilty that we're doing something wrong, and really, we feel we're doing something right. No, no, you have done something wrong. You've waited too late.
Starting point is 00:37:15 This should have been done four years ago. Yeah, well, maybe like ten years ago. Yeah, that'll work, too. I'll go with that. You know how expensive a 25 year old girl is no i love it you're great you're fun well you know what to do it's just very very hard to do with people you love who are misbehaving whether it's parents whether it's parents or brothers or sisters or kids grown kids or whoever it is it's very difficult when adults are misbehaving and you can't make
Starting point is 00:37:54 them do things the only thing you can make someone do here is not live in your house right and just say you know what we've decided that we made a mistake. December's not going to work for us. You have to leave by Friday if you don't start saving money. If you save money out of every check, a substantial amount, 50% of every check starting immediately, you can stay as long as you prove to us that you're doing that and you haven't spent the money. If you do not do that, the first week you do not do that,
Starting point is 00:38:24 you have to move out i know i know her boyfriend now her checks are direct deposited into his savings account and he's putting aside 200 off of every check so she is saving money right well that just started like two weeks ago okay well that's that's a good sign because at least she'll have a little bit of money to move out with then that's that's what we're hoping but he's become her new parent yeah yeah which yeah i don't want that to happen he's trying not to allow that to happen he's trying to get her to come to him yeah for advice but he's got a credit score in the high 800s i mean when it comes to financials you know he's really good at it. She just isn't and never has been. She just doesn't produce.
Starting point is 00:39:08 So the bad news is that, you know, she's way underdeveloped emotionally. The good news is she can catch up fast. So a little bit of being out there. And I would tell him, please don't marry her until she has proven herself to be an adult. Because I love her too much for her to go through a divorce. And honestly, son, she'll drive you nuts. Yeah. God, I know that's one question, you know, that he says, you know,
Starting point is 00:39:39 because they're in the process of, you know, getting a pre-approval for a home as well. Who is? But I don't think her and her boyfriend. Well, she doesn't have an income. Well, she has a little bit of an income. Yeah, they don't need to buy a house together. That's suicide. You don't buy a house with someone you're not married to ever.
Starting point is 00:39:58 So, wow, what a mess. Ooh. Yeah. Pick up Henry Cloud's book, Boundaries. That's what this is about. It's about guilt tripping and boundaries. Wow. That puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show on the books.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Thanks to James Childs, our producer, Kelly Daniel, our associate producer and phone screener. I am Dave Ramsey, your host. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, it's Blake Thompson, Senior Executive Producer for the show. You know, you can listen or watch anywhere with the Dave Ramsey Show app on your smartphone. Catch the full show or watch the highlights and check out Dave's upcoming guests.
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