The Ramsey Show - App - Fear Should Never Make Your Financial Decisions...Facts Should! (Hour 2)

Episode Date: October 11, 2021

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Music Music Music Music Music Music Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Christy Wright, Ramsey personality, two-time number one best-selling author, is my co-host this hour.

If you want your question answered, call in. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Her new book, Take Back Your Time, The Guilt-Free Guide to Life Balance, debuted number one on the bestseller list. Way to go, Christy. Thank you. Excellent job. So exciting.

Proud of you. Proud of our team, the hard work they did on the marketing. But the book is excellent. Guilt-Free Guide to Life Balance is really important. This is a big week for the Business Boutique brand, your first number one bestseller. We've got a whole group of over 1,000, almost 2,000 people coming into Nashville for the Business Boutique Conference Live, and we're live streaming it. That's right. And you're going to let me speak this year.

You say that every year. I'm very generous like that. You are. You're generous that way. You're just kind. With the conference that I own, you let me come. I appreciate that. I'm falling for that for one second.

Everybody knows better every time you say that. It's going to be a lot of fun. They come in Thursday night and then Friday and Saturday all day. And I'll be on stage, I understand, on Friday. And it is quite a lineup of speakers. And we've still got some seats left. It is. And it's one of those things where every single year we raise the bar.

Every single year we look at the survey results from the year before. We always want to hit on the topics that people struggle with the most. So when we talk about managing the money in your business, selling, how to sell without feeling slimy or wanting to annoy people, that's not what it is. We teach them how to sell with confidence. We talk about marketing, social media. We talk about pushing past your fear because that's such a big piece of any of this stuff. Having the time, making the time to work on your business, and having a plan. So these are the main buckets that we hit every year. But we hit it with new speakers from new angles.

We keep the content fresh. But every single time, we have a lot of fun, and you leave fired up to go chase your business. Yeah. People come in kind of looking around unsure. And by the time they leave, they are jacked. Yeah. Yeah. Because they've got not only the information, but the inspiration.

So, Dr. John Deloney speaking, of course. Our friend, Manit Chauhan. If you guys don't know Manit, she's a local restaurateur that's often on the Food Channel. You see her on there all the time. She owns a bunch of restaurants in this area, an incredible entrepreneur, incredible lady. She's a lot of fun. And so she'll be a great addition.

Jasmine Starr will be with us, Nona Jones, and Bianca Oltoff. So what are Nona and Bianca speaking of? So Bianca is a faith-based speaker. We always like to have one session that is just highly inspirational, biblical truths. She'll be on Thursday night with me. And I've actually never met her, but know of her. We run in the same circles and women, you know, the kind of Christian Bible teacher circle with TBN, that type of thing.

And so she's amazing. And then Nona Jones has a really cool story. She is she's got a story of past trauma. And so she helps people overcome trauma, pursue success. And she has some really cool teaching specifically on working from the inside out. So working on your thoughts, controlling your thoughts, the power of your mind and so on, and then working that out in your actions and your day-to-day. So she's also, by the way, an expert on social media.

And so she has pioneered the church division at Facebook. And so she's going to share some social media teaching as well. Oh, that's interesting. Very cool. Very cool. The Business Boutique Conference, equipping women to make money doing what they love. So there will be mainly ladies there. And certainly anybody is welcome.

It's a three-day event this coming weekend, just a few days away here in Nashville. Tickets are just $119. If you want the event passes, you can do the live stream as well. If you want more information, text BOUTIQUE to 33789. Text BOUTIQUE to 33789. We'd love to have you here in Nashville. Nashville's a great place to visit anyway. But this is an incredible, incredible conference, and you don't want to miss out on this.

Again, just a few tickets left, but we can still get you in. I know a guy. John's in Chattanooga. Hey, John, welcome to the Ramsey Show. How can Christy and I help? Hey, Dave. Good to have you. Thank you for taking my call.

How are you guys doing? Great, man. What's up? So I just recently bought a primary residence um i've been kind of doing the investing bit myself about a year now so far so good you know it's been great i've been using the same home inspector he's been very thorough he's always been very helpful and informative whenever i go with him showing me this or you know teach me more here and there so this house uh everything was good and everything so day one when i first I first finally closed and we moved in, day one, I knew there was something wrong with the HVAC system.

And I was reaching out to the realtor just to be like, hey, do we hear anything? I mean, I know despite seller's disclosure. So I actually had an internet guy that found the problem, and then I've had different AC companies come in, and they were telling me that, you know, the words they used to describe the oversight of the ductwork was catastrophic. Was he blindfolded? Did he even go underneath the house? And, you know, to the point of each quote that I got to even fix the HVAC system is a pretty significant cost. How much?

Well, I understand there's a difference between efficient working and, like, repairing what needs to be done, but we're talking maybe $8,000 to $10,000 on the good side, not including the insulation issues. He missed $8,000 to $10,000 worth of duct work that was not plugged in and not done right. Just in ruins and just... How many different estimates have you gotten estimates yeah for fixing the duct work uh three estimates for the duct work and i had two for the insulation all kind of being the climate control issue insulation of the house or the insulation of the duct work

insulation of the house okay the insulation of the duct work insulation of the house okay how much for the duct work duct work looking about three or four thousand okay and to that point you want to spend five thousand dollars on insulation on your house how big a house is this not in full no no not insulation that's just for the duct work the The insulation was about $2,500. That's not $8,000. Three and two is five. Three and two is five. With the different AC companies, they all remarkably said the same thing.

The unit's too small for the house, but because the house was originally made as a barn and been added to it, so the floor levels are different as far as underneath the house is originally made as a barn and been added to it, so the floor levels are different as far as like underneath the house. Okay. Do you think this guy was smoking dope, or do you think he intentionally ripped you off, or do you think he just made an honest mistake? Out of referrals and just kind of networking, my understanding is he's still kind of feeling this way, so he could be a little more green i couldn't presume to say because did you bring this problem to him i did what did he say uh initially it was great to hear that he was you know willing to own up

very well could have overlooked and i was like that's awesome but you know going to the quote you know it's kind of like well everything was working good you know at time of the inspection and so on and so forth. But, you know, 10 days after living there, you know, the closet right next to the HVAC system was consumed with mold growing into the bedroom right next to it from the, you know, humidity in there. He's just keep kind of splitting hairs a little bit, it seems. And he's more of like, I'm more than happy to consult and, you know, do all this and that. But definitely he's trying to stay away from, you know, as far as lending a hand in the financial repairs. Finances for the repairs.

I kind of smell that you're heating an air guy's trying to make a sale. I might be wrong, but I think he's added some drama to this. You bought a barn with an air conditioner on it. I might be wrong. I think I tread carefully here. I think your feelings are hurt. I tread careful. Are you working the baby steps?

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Take Back Your Time, The Guilt-Free Guide to Life Balance, is my co-host today as we take your questions. We were talking with John in Chattanooga. He bought a barn that is converted to a home. The unit has been added on to. The heat and air unit is too small. The ductwork was not connected. There was mold, and there was a lack of insulation. His home inspector seemed to have missed this.

His heat and air guy asked if the guy was blindfolded when he did the home inspection. And so, okay, John, here's what's bothering me in this story. Are you with me still? Okay. Here's what's bothering me uh you're heating an air guy uh who stands to benefit from getting this job is blowing this up and really running down the other guy the other trade if the only way i can get work is to run down the other guy and i can increase the size of my ticket i no longer trust his voice his voice is bothering me in this story is that fair entirely okay entirely yeah and

you had a guy that prior to this you trusted now have you been under there and looked at this stuff yes i have and i don't say i'm not an ac guy but i'm not either but apparently if he wasn't blindfolded he could have told according to this other guy he could have told it wasn't connected right yeah i mean rooms of the house not being connected whatsoever how many rooms uh three rooms okay used to be more but it was opened up since it's been there for so long okay so um i've got a question so let's say that he did totally screw up is there any liability it would depend on what your contract says with your home inspector as to how much liability he has limited and it sounds like he's not a big-time home inspector.

Some of them actually carry insurance for errors and omissions that cover if they miss something. So I would investigate those two things. That's a good question. What does the actual agreement state that he's liable for in the event he misses something like this? Also, find out if he has insurance to cover it. Now, past that, let's get practical.

This guy's a small-timer. He doesn't have $3,000 or $4,000 to give you. Of course. Even if he wanted to. I mean, I don't think you're going to get any money out of it. Huh? Oh, yeah, of course. I really wasn to get any money out of it. Huh? Oh, yeah, of course. I really wasn't getting any money out of him per se,

but we did speak in regards to what contingency could there be if there was oversight on his end. He does have insurance to cover it, and, you know, of course, an inspection of that time. I don't mind to cover, you know, insulation and just everything else I need to take care of, but just inside of it being an oversight considerable oversight i'm just curious if your guy stops so i just go ahead and

eat it and just pay for it myself yeah i mean if you can get an insurance a check out of his insurance guys i would if you really believe he had an oversight um because i but i don't think this guy is going to give you any money because i don't think he has any money and i think it's probably the last time you're going to use him as an inspector right yeah that's both those statements are fair yeah i um but i and i'd get the insurance money out of him if i could because it sounds like he did miss it if this if you can get it i i don't know how complicated it is i've never filed a claim on something like that so um i don't know what it is but i also am a little bit disturbed i think you're heating air guys overstating this and adding some drama trying to make a sale my guess is you've done some rehabs that you probably can get a a good sub in there and uh

you know get some bad insulation bat insulation not bad, and get the thing in. You know, it sounds like some flex duct run to those other rooms, and you're probably going to have to upgrade your unit at some point. It's not going to carry the whole thing. So, you know, you're going to lose on this transaction. You're going to eat some of it. And, you know, that's, I don't know. I don't know a way around that in this situation,

because here's the thing I've figured out. And Christy, this is a good principle for business in general. It's so frustrating when somebody doesn't do their job. But when they're broke, the contract you sign with them actually means almost nothing. Because they're only going to abide by the contract to the extent they have the resources to abide by the contract. But they can't. They can't. They don't physically have the money. Yeah. And so even if the guy went yep my bad um he's got you know if he says my bad and i got

he's got a hundred thousand dollars in bank account write you a check that's good but that's not normally the case in something like this contracts don't make bad deals good contracts don't make bad people good contracts don't make incompetent people competent. And so never sign a contract, and this is not what he was doing, by the way, I'm not picking on John, but never sign a contract, because I've done this, and I would go, and then the whole thing would blow up, and I kind of knew it was a bad deal, but I signed a contract, and then I say the dumbest statement. Here's what I would say, and some of you have said this, but I have a contract, as if it had magical powers yeah to make the

incompetent competent the crooked straight yeah it doesn't contracts don't have magical powers they just clarify what two good capable people were going to do that they do they have communication tool for doing what they say they're going to do that's all a contract does yeah it's a false sense of security if you think it's going to fill a gap that can't be filled by a contract by a piece of paper yeah or you get the uh wonderful opportunity to go into court yeah to try to you know and then you're just throwing good money after bad and i've done that and i probably will have to do that again in business sometimes i have to go before the judge you go this this bozo's doing this, and I can't get him to stop. And, you know, so you've got to do it. But it's no win because it does just cost you money.

One of the people who wins are the lawyers. Yeah. Well, going back to the heat and air guy, you make a good point, too, because I was thinking about this when you were talking about him and maybe a layer of drama there of exaggerating and the whole blindfold comment when you exaggerate what's going on even if there are oversights and issues you lose credibility when you act in this exaggerating dramatic state and so wait a minute that's my job wait a minute this is what we do for a living except the truth is a suggestion i like to add a little flair uh but no it's like so so some people in sales are trying to get a sale.

They exaggerate so much that they make the person scared. It's this fear tactic. And a scared person, even that, it doesn't lead to good deals. It doesn't lead to good decisions. So even if the guy had some valid points, the drama takes away the credibility as a as the person you want to go to i don't want to go to him even if he's right i want to go to someone that seems more credible yeah and they go gosh it's a horrible situation not going to help you solve your problem that's exactly right it says you know what he overlooked it he may have been new he just just a more

common sense level-headed approach to assessing the situation versus this dramatic scene yeah yeah john i i'm afraid you're eating a lot of this, my friend. All of that to say that. Oh, Adrian's with us in Miami. Hi, Adrian. How are you? Hi, Dave. It is truly an honor to speak with you.

You too. What's up? Yeah, so I'm 20 years old, and I make $50,000 a year. I graduated this summer with an engineering degree, and I have saved up since my whole life about a little less than $50,000. Your phone is mumbling. Can you speak directly into your mumbling phone? Yes. Sorry about that. Can you hear me better? Yeah, much better. Thank you.

Okay. Yeah, so I have saved up a little less than $60,000 and I have been, which I haven't been able to find that yet. How old are you again, Adrian? 20 years old. Adrian. You're making 50 grand. You're making, you can find something. It may not be in the exact neighborhood you want, maybe with a roommate. You can find lots of people

live on less than you do with a family. Yeah, so what I've been able to find are rents about $1,000 and 25% of my take-home pay would be around $700, which is what scares me.

Yeah, so you need to keep looking. You haven't found the right place yet. But Christy's numbers are exactly right. You do live in an expensive city, and you may have to move out of the city a little bit. You may have a bit of a commute. You may be looking for a garage apartment out back at some rich old lady's house, and you rent the apartment over her garage or something like that. You may be picking up a roommate or three, but you can afford to do this.

Maybe your parents' job is to make you a little more uncomfortable. This is The Ramsey Show. Work doesn't have to suck. There's a reason you can't shake the feeling you were meant for more than just another J-O-B. 61% of people aren't even engaged at work, let alone doing work they love. Let's get started. To figure out the work you were uniquely made to do, you need this book. Ken walks you through the proven stages that landed him his dream job and thousands of others. Plus, if you pre-order From Paycheck to Purpose today, you'll receive our Get Hired bonus pack, valued at over $100 for free. It includes the audiobook, e-book, resume, templates, the Get Hired digital course, and more. Pre-order From Paycheck to Pur purpose at RamseySolutions.com. Christy Wright, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.

Open phones at 888-825-5225. Felicia is with us in Louisville. Hey, Felicia, how are you? Hey, Dave. Good. How are you? Great. How can we help?

Yeah. So my husband, we just started FU very recently. This is our first official month. Really going all in on it. Cool. My question is, we have about $12,000 in debt, and we're doing this all backward because we just started. Sure.

So we have $12,000 in debt. We do have about $15,000 in savings. Okay. Should we go ahead? And also, I'm going to be needing a new car very soon. I have 155,000 miles on mine. Is yours running? I love to drive.

It is. It is. It's an Explorer, and I love it. But it's just about to lay down, you're afraid. It is. Yes. And we have three kiddos, so that's a thing, in car seat. So I'm going to need something that is full size that's not

not going to be too cheap you know um so my question is should we go ahead and pay off the twelve thousand dollars in debt from our savings and then i'm not taking a car payment um or getting a loan for that i don't know i'm talking kind of stuck right now with this what's your household income? My husband just started a new job, but this is in January. So right now he's gross over a hundred thousand, but we take home about six grand a month and I stay at home with my kiddos. Okay. Well, I mean, I think one of the things that's, that feels scary about this, Felicia, is that you know, you want a car soon, but the good is that you know you want a car soon,

but the good news is you don't need a car right now. Right now, you have the savings to pay off that debt, and you're debt-free, like today. That's a good income. You could save up. And that car may last. I mean, this is speaking from someone that, you know, I have driven cars into the ground in the past,

and it may go a lot longer than you think. You don't need anything right now. You'll have some emergency fund left over anyway. Already your, your baby step three, which is your three to six months of emergency fund. You'll have that started with a few grand. And so if you have a repair you need to make in the next few months,

when you're saving up, you can cover it, make it last a little longer. And then you can save up and pay cash for another used SUV or whatever you need, but you'll be able to buy it in cash. I think it just feels scary because it's high mileage, but if it's running, it's running.

If one of your kids was sick and you needed money bad to pay the doc, what's the most out of your six grand you could save a month if you had to well we do have an hsa and we put 58 a week into that um what does that have to do with what i just asked you i don't know what is the most um we could take one of your kids oh no i understand because it's you had an hsa i was trying to use a metaphor and we got sidetracked into a product. Okay, now it does make sense. It was my fault. Okay, I'll just –

So you're okay. You went straight to the real answer, and I was trying to do – Okay, my point is out of that $6,000, if you had to, the world came to an end. How much is your house payment? About $1,300 a month. Okay, so you could save $3,000 a month if you had to, if you had no payments except a house payment um about thirteen hundred dollars a month okay so you could save three grand a month if you had to if you had no payments except a house payment exactly okay so what i would do is pay off all your debt today and start saving three grand a month until you have an emergency

fund and then keep saving until you have enough money to buy a car in cash okay my heart just went down to my stomach because i'm excited not because i'm scared to do that but like yeah i need to be here that's good you did a good job you did a good job you actually answered the question i was trying to be metaphorical and i screwed it up so my bad but the uh but see my point is with no payments and your newfound intentionality with money on paper on purpose with both you and your husband on the same team, Christy's answer is exactly correct, that you can save up an emergency fund. If things blow up while you have that emergency fund, before you have the car, then you'd have to use the emergency fund because it would be an emergency to buy a little better car, right?

Right. But you're going to be just fine because, you know, you said you've got 15, right? Yes. So we've got 15, right? Yes. So we've got three there now. Next month we'll have six. The next month we'd have nine. The next month we'd have 12. That's Christmas.

You've got $12,000 in the bank at Christmas and no payments in the world. And I think your car is going to make it to Christmas. I think so, too. Yeah. I just only hit that weekend. I'm going, oh, now we have to go, you know. Yeah. Go get a new car.

Yep. Well, don't turn it into, I got forced into do something stupid because you already put on the table I'm not doing car payments. You're smart there. That was wise. So you got the right track. And so if buying a car becomes an emergency, slow down, breathe just a little bit. But if you can fix the old one for $500 and get another six months out of it, do that too. Because I want you to save up and pay cash for a $10,000 car and still have $12,000 in your account and still have no payments.

Okay. And that's April. Yeah, okay. And you can do this. I think you'll last until April. Yeah, I think so too. Okay. Hey, thanks for the call.

That's a really good question. So what happened there? Well, I was actually going to ask you a follow-up question to that because I think that sometimes we, and I've heard this on the Ramsey Show several times, people call in and they say, well, this is my situation, so should I either pause the baby steps or leave this extra money in savings? And there's only a couple scenarios that you say to do that. So when you're expecting, I remember we talked about this last year in the pandemic someone had lost their

job or were thinking they were going to lose their job will you unpack that really quickly what are the scenarios where we say let's pause the baby steps stockpile cash because of this unique circumstance all other circumstances like for example 150 000 miles on your car i'm like oh in my mind because i'm like old school it's only half worn out you could have a few years in that car you're good put some new tires on get some of that fresher smell stuff and you're right down there at walmart all three you'll be good i'm telling you my 1996 jeep grand cherokee that thing smelled like a go-kart it smelled like a goat because you had actual goats in it christy that's a fact and

that's actually a fact gross the goat mobile i'm the goat lady i never knew that i did not have a trailer i know but you were the goat lady i have a number one best-selling author formerly known as the goat lady i mean i feel like that's my next stage of my brand like we may have a break marketing breakthrough right here on the air. There's so many people that know those old farm stories, and they're like, oh, the fainting goat. Tell the fainting goat story. But back to your question. Anyway, talk about the scenarios in which, like, 150,000 miles is not one of them.

Let's talk about the scenarios where you would say, yes, let's stockpile cash in this scenario. Facts are what we deal with, not feelings. The feeling is, in her case, and she was being very logical about it. Sure. She did a really good job. With three kids, too. Her critical thinking skills were right there. Yes.

But what this is, is the feeling is this car's going to go out at any moment. The insecurity of driving an older car with three little kids. That's right. That's a feeling. It rises up. It rises up and it grabs you by the throat. Yes. It doesn't come from the head down.

It comes from the stomach up. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And when that makes your financial decisions, you're going to be broke your whole life. A fact is the car is in the driveway with smoke coming out from under the hood. It's done. That's a different fact. Right.

Then I'm afraid that it's going to lay down, and it probably will lay down at some time in the future, and we'll just have to put a bullet in it. And so what you've got to do is go, okay, and the facts are when we laid the math out, we're not suggesting you drive this 150,000-mile car for eight years. We're suggesting it for eight months because in eight months you can with your newfound tools in financial peace university you can accomplish a ton of goals and get some space behind you now the fact is that if you have a baby on the way and you push pause on your total money makeover baby steps and your financial

peace debt snowball and you quit paying extra on the debt and you pile up cash until baby comes and mommy comes home from the hospital with baby everybody's in good shape no troubles then we take all that cash except a thousand dollars and we restart all you lost was the interest on that amount of money now i might lose my job in the future is everyone right yeah everyone might lose their job in the future is everyone. Yep. Everyone might lose their job in the future. Not me. I work for the government.

You might lose your job in the future. I'm just saying. You could lose your job in the future. That is a universal worry. Now, that is not a fact. That's a feeling. It is a fact, but it's the probability of it. They just announced that we're all going to be laid off in four weeks that's a

fact right you stop everything and you get ready but i'm kind of worried about this because of the pandemic and people around and i just generally worry about a lot of stuff and no that's not a fact that's a feeling you don't stop on that you plow through so facts and feelings facts and feelings help you decide whether to stop or not. This is the Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Her book, Take Back Your Time, The Guilt-Free Guide to Life Balance, debuted a couple of weeks ago as a number one bestseller, her second number one bestseller. This coming weekend, we have the Business Boutique Conference.

It'll be just under a couple thousand folks there. There's a couple seats available if you still want to come. You can text Boutique to 33789. Text Boutique to 33789. There it is right in front of me. And we'd love to have you. I'll be speaking. Christy, Dr. John Deloney, and several other keynote ladies that are just absolutely incredible.

It is the Business Boutique Conference, Equipping Women to Make Money Doing What They Love. I think this is our fifth one or sixth. Well, if you count the one days, I mean, we're at like 16. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Because remember there for the first couple of years we did all over the country. So, yeah. Fall of 2015 was the first fall event.

Okay. But we've done about 15 or 16. All right. So this is the sixth one of those. Yep. The big event. The fall one. Yeah.

Okay. Yep. Wow. And it's been very, very popular, obviously. So we've continued to do them. And, hey, if you want to visit Nashville, ladies, this is a good excuse for you to come down here. You will come in not knowing how to do things and leave completely equipped. It's a pretty incredible conference.

So, again, text BOUTIQUE to 33789. And I don't want to miss out on mentioning the calendar because we haven't got many left, do we? Yeah, the Goal Planner. So the 2022 Goal Planner. We launch it this time of year because that's when most people buy their planners for the following. It starts in January, but it does sell out every year. I always remind people when I talk about this year, last year it sold out earlier than ever

before. It sold out like beginning of December, but it was too late to do a reorder. And so, yeah, if you're wanting this for Christmas, shipping's been weird across the country, go ahead and get your copy for a gift or whatever you're thinking to make sure you don't miss out. The goal planner does what? This is your calendar, but it's also your tool for setting and keeping your goals. So you've got monthly teaching. You've got templates to help you put that teaching into practice.

Journal questions and then, of course, calendar, to-do list, all the things to keep you organized. But I think the most important part of it is the fact that we carry goals through the year. So in April and in August, you're revisiting those goals saying, are they right? Do we need to change something about them? Has something in your life or your season changed? So it's a great companion to help you stay on track and do what you say you want to do. All the way through. And we sell tens of thousands of them every year.

And honestly, these shortages and everything else are giving us fits in the publishing side, but we've got them. The chances used to we could just reorder with five days or something. This year, not a chance. Yeah. So when they're gone, they're probably gone. Yeah. Unless we just strike a little gold rush thing or something, but I doubt it.

So you need to get that while you've got the chance. Doug is with us in Kansas. Hi, Doug. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, how's it going, guys? Better than we deserve. What's up? Hey, quick question for you.

So me and my wife are on baby step number two, and we're having a baby. That's due in January. Yay. Congratulations. Well, thank you. So my question is, I hear you guys talk about it, and I don't know if I've missed it a time or two, but to go into stork mode, and that's what we're kind of doing right now.

But my question is, I'm just trying to plan for it, but when do you no longer do stork mode and then you go back on to hitting it hard? Yeah, we were just talking about this literally right before the break, Doug. The idea is while you're expecting, you can pause your baby steps, stockpile some cash. You've got some extra savings just for all the, you know, any unexpected complications, which we hope and pray doesn't happen. But if it does, you've got some savings there.

Then once your wife and the baby are home safely and all of that good stuff, you know, a month or two months in, you start, you, you know, everybody's home safe. You're all settled.

You go ahead and get back into those baby steps. And I think the, the biggest thing I hear from people when they call, when they're expecting is just this unknown. It's the fear of the unknown. It's the fear of how much is a baby going to cost? How many diapers is it going to cost? You just make this a line item in your budget.

The things you're not currently purchasing, like diapers, for example, you begin to budget for. And so it's not as scary and unpredictable as it seems when you are a new parent or becoming a new parent, but you begin to plan for it. And so, yeah, just a couple months, a month, you know. Month. Month. Month, and then get back at it. This is your first baby, isn't it? No, this is actually my second.

Oh. It's a boy. My first was my daughter. Unfortunately, we had a crisis, and last year, November, she passed away. She was still born. Oh, my God. Oh, Doug, I'm so sorry. Oh.

Well, thank you. so you asking this question about not knowing how to be secure in this situation with what you've been through means you're a good human because you're you're you know you got a lot of wrong nerves here man you got a lot of I can't even i can't breathe and it wasn't even my situation just talking to you so um yeah and so if you want to uh stay in stork mode a little bit longer but you probably mechanically mathematically don't need to but i think we can set aside the idea that emotionally you might want to yep and that's that's kind of where i'm at because stuff scares you more than yep stuff scares you more than maybe otherwise would have in this situation. So, oh, man, what a deal to go through. I'm so sorry.

Yeah. And congratulations on the new one. Yeah. Well, thank you. So it's the best of times and the worst of times all at the same time. It's kind of hard to figure out, right? Oh, yeah. Very excited. Yeah. Yeah. of times all at the same time it's kind of hard to figure out right oh yeah very excited yeah yeah yeah and so given the the tragedy that you all have been through if you want to uh hunker down

have a little more cash for a little while just as a medication for a little bit and normally i'd say one month but if you want to make it three that's not the end of the world if you want to make it 30 you probably need to think about who you're talking to as a counselor about walking through your grief then. Okay. Can I ask another quick question? Sure. Okay. So she's wanting to take off her 12 weeks from maternity leave, which is 100%.

We both agree. Let's do it. We have money saved aside for that here in a few weeks. We'll have about $8,000 to cover her side of expenses and whatnot. So once she's back at work and things, should we start then or should we go another? Yeah, that sounds really good. Okay. And you don't have to spend the $ 8 000 um unless you have to have it to

eat while she's not working yeah no i think we're we're okay yeah just let that sit there and then yeah ride the 12 weeks that sounds like a good number give yourself a little grace yes a little uh a little room uh because of what you all have been through give yourself a little room because of what you all have been through. Give yourself a little wiggle room emotionally here, okay? Yeah. And that's what money's for, by the way, is to give you a little margin so the edges on everything aren't quite as rough. Money won't solve it for sure, not even close. But it gives you the ability to worry about the right things instead of the wrong things.

Yeah, that peace of mind. I mean, that was such a traumatic event, Doug. And so if that needs to look different for you, I love how you said that, Dave. Just give yourself grace as you're walking through this and all the emotions associated with it. Yeah. So one of the things you've got to remember, like sometimes we talk about, do I sell mom's house after mom passed away? Do I keep the farm after dad passed away? Do I keep his whole pickup truck?

What do I do with the wedding ring from my first marriage that I have bad memories of? Right? That kind of thing. All of these things are, there's a reason we call it personal finance. The mistake that people make in the personal financial world is they only do finance. But there's also personal. And Doug's situation, you know, it's a very personal, hard, unbelievably hard thing they are going through, have been through. And does that affect, then, the situation?

It should affect it. If you're a human. Yeah. You know, humans hurt. And so you've just got to factor that in to your equation. Now, what you do want to guard against is that that becomes your new definition of who you are. And that's what I said, you know, three months is great.

Thirty months now, we're not walking our way through. We're just sitting in. Yeah. And so you need to be walking through the bad stuff, not staying. Yeah. But give yourself the wiggle room to hurt. Yeah. Because it's part of the equation, sadly, in all our lives.

Yeah. Christy Goodhour. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Christy Wright, number one bestselling author. The Business Boutique Conference is this coming weekend. Text Boutique to 33789. I'd love to see you there.

I'll be speaking on Friday. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt-free scream live on the show, make sure you visit theramseyshow.com and register. We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.