The Ramsey Show - App - Focused Intensity Is The Only Way To Make Financial Progress

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

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Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio, this is The Ramsey Show. I'm George Camel, joined by my pal, Dr. John Deloney, and we're taking your calls at AAA 825-5-2-2-25. You jump in, we'll talk about your money and your life. Cassandra kicks us off in Toronto. What's going on, Cassandra?

Hello, gentlemen. How are you today? We are doing great. What ails you today? How can we help? Nothing ails me. I am a domestic abuse survivor, and it was a majority was financial abuse.

So, I left six years. Wow. Yeah, it was the scariest, best thing I ever did for me and my three children. To get out of that. To leave, get out of that mess. Yeah, yeah, no, it was, yeah, thank you. You know, I started with nothing, and I've built everything. And now, it's kind of crazy to call in about this.

I'm making me about $8,000 a month. congratulations thank you honestly i work full time i go to school full time and i'm a single mom so you just keep going you know you're an like it's it you're at a place so if you haven't already take a moment and just go outside and um just like be proud of yourself because you couldn't have imagined this six years ago and you're scared to death and you're taking a leap into nothingness right and so yeah man you're you're a you're a lighthouse for other women trapped in similar situations. So congratulations.

Thank you very much. So my challenge right now is I want to give my kids the world. I've been about two years ago, I realized that I wanted to change family patterns. You know, both of my parents are in their 60s, and they don't have anything. And there's so much debt. And so in the last two years, I paid off about $40,000 worth of debt. Very cool. Awesome.

Thank you. And I'm trying now. The last thing is my car. I owe about 17. It's worth about 20. So I'm trying to maintain a budget and stay on budget. But I want to give my kids everything, right? Everything we didn't have.

Everything, you know, everything I'm fighting for. You have. You have. Yeah. No, no, no, no. You have. You've given them everything. and everything is not a bunch of presence under the tree.

Everything is a mom who is well. Everything is a mom who is like doing the next right thing for the stability and safety of herself and for her family. You've given them everything. You just have to be able to look in the mirror and say, I'm enough. Right? I know. Yeah. It's hard. There is so much emotion. I'm money. And I just can't. And then it doesn't matter how hard I'm fighting. It just feels like it's never enough. The economy is so hard.

Stop fighting. Stop fighting. Stop fighting. You have a picture of they're going to be happier when you have a bunch of stuff under that tree, right? Yeah. Yeah. And that stuff under the tree for you as a little girl was a proxy. for a house that wasn't so full of chaos and so full of angst around money, around whatever. And you thought, if I could have those things under the tree, if I could have that toy I don't have, that shirt that I can't afford or my parents can't afford or won't buy me, that then I'll be okay. Those presents are a proxy for, we have a house full of peace, which is something that every child is so, so desperate for, and you've given it to them.

They have it. They have everything. They've got a regulated mom. They don't have their dad in their life, right? Because he walked away. But when it comes to the ability to breathe in their own home, you've given them that. I'm so proud of you. I'd hug you if you're here. What do you actually want to give them? Because everything is a big, vague word. The economy is a big vague word. You're using impossible terms. So what's the budget you want to use for Christmas to buy some gifts? like last year it was ridiculous i think it was like 500 dollars a kid and then this year you know i'm just really i really want to make change and make waves and that involves sacrifice and so i've cut it down to like 250 dollars but it just seems like how old are the kids um 15 10 and 9 all right so i want to tell you something i grew up with not a lot okay in fact somebody one time a family broke into our, or several families broke into our house and put presents under our tree. Okay, that's the house I grew up in.

When I joined this team and my financial life transformed, I did the, I went, I'm ahead of you a little bit, okay? I went crazy when it came to Christmas. Yeah. And it was my wife saying, like, hey, we got to stop, right? And so two years ago, I took my son out. He's 15 now. So he was 13 at the time.

And I took him out and said, hey, I have gotten out of control of Christmas. Christmas is going to look different this year. You're going to get two or three really nice things. And I want you to give me a list, right? And I'll do what I can on the little knick-knacky things. But it's going to look different. And you know what my 13-year-old said to me over breakfast at a waffle house in rural Tennessee? You know what he said to me?

He smiled and said, That's awesome, dad. I don't think you can. And he already knew, oh, that's buying a bunch of stuff for him, not for us. He already knew. He's a teenager. He was an eighth grader. And he already could sense all these presents for old men, not for us.

Now, he's going to take my stuff. He's going to take all the cool stuff that's cool. But you taking your 15-year-old out, I mean, you're all three of them out in saying, I've been scratching a claw and I have this fantasy in my head that y'all will only like me if there's tons of presence. I've got to be a better steward of this money this year. And so I want y'all to give me one or two things that y'all really, really want. And I'm going to try to make that happen. But Christmas is going to look different this year.

And I'm almost going to guarantee you that they'll be like, Mom, we're good. We're good, mom. And if they don't, if they're like, that's ridiculous. Well, they're 13. Good grief. They're supposed to say stuff like that. You get what I'm saying? And they have no concept of what things cost.

And so that's another piece of the puzzle. For better and for worse, they go, well, I want a PS5, and I want, you know, a $10 pair of shoes. They're like, okay, well, those aren't two things that go together. And so I would set a budget, and that becomes how much we can spend on Christmas. And so it doesn't matter what they want. It's what you can actually afford that dictates what happens this Christmas. And the other thing I would encourage you to do is focus on something experiential versus something material.

I saw a great video, and the mom asked her daughter, hey, what did you get for Christmas last year? The daughter blanked. She couldn't think of one thing. And she said, where did we go on vacation last year? He said like Tahoe immediately. And so you've got to think in terms of what are they going to remember. It's probably not a thing that's going to end up in a closet or at Goodwill six months from now or two years from now. And so be thoughtful, be creative, but don't think it has to be a certain dollar amount for it to matter. And you free yourself when you take your kids out and you have this conversation with them. You're free. Because you're right now there's a cloud. There's a secret that you think they will only feel good. if you do X, Y, and Z, take them out and just paint them a picture. This year I'm going to be different and give them that opportunity. But in that conversation, you're going to free yourself. And like George said, most kids, we'll run up on a clock.

So go have that hard conversation. Have it direct and free yourself. Bree is in Phoenix up next. Bree, welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, thank you for taking my call. Absolutely. What's going on? You know, I guess I'm looking to find out if I made a dumbhouse decision or if I'm

house poor. I am newer to the Ramsey show and doing a budget, and I feel like I don't have enough money to do what I want, of course, but I, you know, it seems like there's just not enough money at the end of the month. That's a real problem. What do you make? I make yearly. I make good money, I think.

I make $120,000 a year. Yeah, that's good money where I come from. Yeah. Okay. And what's your take-home pay every month? Yeah, take-home's not as good, obviously. I put 401K money and stuff, but in my benefits. And I take home, my base salary is $5,400 a month that I bring home.

Okay. and my commissions range so much. That's the hard thing. I'm having a hard time doing the budget. I mean, it was to the budget, but it could be anywhere from about, like this month I got $1,000. The last month I got $3,900.

Nice. For six or five months, I didn't get any at all. Okay. Let's pretend that's gravy on top. So what is your mortgage payment? Yeah, that's what I want to do, $2,000 a month. Okay. That's not out of control.

I mean, it's a big portion of your base take home. but we're not going to factor in your 401K contributions into that. And so if you just look at your after-tax income but before other deductions like health care, 401K, the parameter we use is 25%. And so I don't think it's just a mortgage alone doing this. I think there's some other factors here, including other debt. Do you have any other consumer debt? Yes.

Lay it out. I have $300 of the HRA a month, which is a lot, I think. but I have a car loan that's $500. I have about $40,000 in consumer debt, like credit cards and like a loan that I consolidated. Okay. So let's picture this world for Brie. Let's say that you got rid of all of the consumer debt, the car loan, the credit cards, all of that, the consolidation loan. Do you think you could breathe easier, cover all your bills, and have some left over?

You even saying that makes me feel better. Good. That's a world that's very much available to you. It's at your fingertips here if you just utilize this great income you have and start focusing on one thing instead of seven good things. Because investing for retirement is a great thing. Paying off debt is a great thing. Owning a home is a great thing. You've chosen to do it all at once, which is why you feel overwhelmed.

So let's just picture you pausing your 401K contributions. What percentage of your income are you currently contributing? I think I lowered it to six. It was 10. Okay. Well, that's $7,200 a year that could be going towards paying down that debt. You see what I just did there? Yep.

We just created some margin for Brie. And remember, this is temporary. How old are you? I'm almost 60. Okay. So can we picture Brie on her 62nd birthday, completely debt-free, now maxing out retirement? instead of having to ratchet it down. Yeah, I could picture that.

That's the future I'm seeing as well. And so what this looks like is taking down your 401K, cutting your spending to the bone for 18 months max is what I'm thinking. Probably less, because you have a great income, especially with those bonuses. If you pretend those bonuses don't exist and any time it comes in, you throw it right at the debt, the smallest debt in front of you, you're going to be debt free really quickly.

Agreed? Wow. Well, it sounds good coming from you. I'm a good salesman, I guess. It's your life. I'm just pointing, I have all the puzzle pieces in front of me, and I'm going, hey, if you just move this over here, you could be debt-free pretty fast. And that's the debt snowball method. That's going, hey, we're not going to contribute to retirement. We're going to take our savings down to $1,000. We're going to throw everything we can at our smallest

debt once it's knocked out, throw everything we can at the next smallest debt while making minimums on the rest of the debts. And if you do it that way, I'm telling you will be debt-free in 12 to 18 months, making what you make. Oh, my God. Wow, I never even thought I'd get through on the call. I'm so excited to talk to you. And that you did, you just made me feel better because, yeah, and now I feel stupid because I...

No, we've all done stupid. Stupid people don't get paid $120,000, Brees. I know. I'm so proud of that. You should be. It's hard to get up to that. And I think you work too hard to feel this broke, to feel this overwhelmed. I do, too. I do, too.

But listen, I want you to hear what George said. we don't care about the interest rates we don't care about the shame you feel on one thing versus the other we're going to take every debt you have and in fact I don't want you to do it on a computer I want you to go old school and put on a yellow pad

write down everybody you owe in the world parents friends banks car notes the consolidation loan all of them write it down in smallest to largest and then we're just going to attack it. This is, in your case, this is 95% psychology. Oh, my gosh. So I did get it that way with the 40, the credit card or whatever it is.

It's all together. That's one bill, and then the car is another. So would I, when I get these bonuses, bang which one out? The lower one is the lowest. Whatever, the smallest balances. It's the only number you're looking at. It's the only one you care about. Wow.

And here's what you're going to get. you're going to get a whole bunch of little wins. And if you have one big giant chunk at the end, like you have the big $40,000 cloud hanging over your head, here's what we're going to celebrate. Every time you get that first number from 40 and you get it to $39,99, that's a huge win. And then we're just going to try to get a two in front, $2,999.

And we're going to whittle that sucker down. The only question you need to ask yourself is this. You're going to be 62. okay do you want to be 62 and oh and listen yeah that's fair um and oh nobody anything or do you want to be 62 a little more fried than you are right now that's the choice no i want to be free and yeah i work hard for my money and i want to celebrate myself never mind you know what i mean celebrate yourself not with another shiny thing you can't afford celebrate yourself with peace and freedom which i think are the two most elusive things in american households today

thank you guys I appreciate it I really do okay hang on we're gonna hook you up we're gonna hook you up we're gonna take care of you here's what we're gonna send you number one we're gonna send you

the digital FPU product I want you to watch all nine videos at your house and if you got kids still living with you they have to watch it as a part of their rent okay

yeah yeah we're gonna send them thank you that's awesome oh we're not done I'm sending you more you ready I'm gonna give you George and I are gonna give you

a year of every dollar premium it's the budgeting app and it's going to connect with your bank so you already have the regular one but no not that we're upgrading you okay and we're going to pay for it but you've got to promise that you will cut your spinning down to where people are going to think you're slowly losing your marbles okay

I love it and I love a challenge I love it I really do and my youngest son he started it too and he's doing so good he's doing better than me and I'm in Beards, he's 21. He's 22, actually. Wow. I'm so proud of him for doing it. I'm so proud of him.

Let him see his mom do something, like, radically hard for the next 18 months. And he will never, my mom went back and took her first community college class at the age of 42. And she graduated their Ph.D. at 57. You know what that did for me? It took away every excuse I could ever have in my life ever, for I'm too old, I can't change. I'm setting my way. She took it all off the table, and that's what you'll do for your son. You will show him in real time.

There is never the words, I can't. That cannot be a part of his vocabulary because I watch my mom do it. And that's all I care about is making my kids proud. I know they are proud of me. This is changing your family tree right here in real time. This makes me feel shame. Well, you've got a built-in accountability partner now. So he's watching.

You're watching what he's doing. He's watching what you're doing, and that's the best thing. Will you make it from the competition? Yes, I will. That when you pay off these debts and you're debt-free, you'll call back in and we'll celebrate you. We'll do a debt-free scream. Bet you bet. I will go right there so I can get in the boost. I love it. All right. Hang on the line.

Christians on the line. He's going to hook you up with this stuff. I'm marking my calendar, Brie, 18 months from now. I'm going to be like, hey, Brie, you debt-free yet? Where are you at, Brie? We got any more payments? And I think the answer is going to be, I've been debt-free, dude. I've been done with this stuff. I got the emergency fund. I'm maxing out retirement. That's the future we want for Brie. and I think you're going to get there. Proudy for calling in.

Love to see that kind of transformation. And in five minutes, your whole attitude just changed. So imagine what the five months are going to look like as you actually implement this stuff. You're going to be like a live wire. Just so much energy on the path to debt freedom. Thanks for calling in. Nick is in Charlotte, North Carolina up next. What's going on, Nick?

today. Hey, good afternoon. Thanks for having me on. Absolutely. Hey, so there's a lot of backstory, but married 13 years, I have three children, seven, four, and one. My wife and I, we've been through a lot with medical ordeals. It's led to, I took on finances and ended up kind of drowning a bit. I did not disclose to her that we were in financial trouble. and thought I could work my way out of it. I'm in sales. My net monthly income is roughly $7,500. We are currently in about $100,000 of debt, consumer debt,

that consists of two personal loans, two auto loans and a student loan. I've been hemorrhaging somewhere between $5,000 to $7,000 a month because I've not been able to have an honest conversation with my wife, to disclose what's going on, so we haven't changed our spending patterns on Friday of last week, God broke me, and I surrendered it to him. I disclosed everything to her, and finally was open and honest. She was incredibly gracious, but now as we are trying to restore, rebuild, and rejuvenate our relationship, which has been an incredible couple of days, we do find ourselves in a crisis. We met with a Christian financial advisor last night who recommended a

home equity line of credit to swap the $100,000 in consumer debt to the home equity line of credit. We owe $3.30 on our house. It's worth about $5.30. So to keep that 80% that would get us to roughly the $100,000 to pay off the consumer. And then we are flipping our spending upside down. We believe in the baby step approach. We're going to be pursuing that aggressively, but we wanted to know our options is the only option to do this HELOC, potentially sell our house where the market is better in the summer spring and have that paid off and be debt-free and rent-to-home. Do we need to put the house for sale immediately and take that route, or are there other

strategies that you all would implement and recommend given the context of what I just outlined? All right, so George is going to walk you through the money side of this, and he's going to give you a super clear path, okay? But I want you to hear me crystal clear also, okay? Okay. The chief emergency in your life is not the debt. Yes. The chief emergency in your life is what I would call financial infidelity.

You cheated on your wife. Okay. And so the chief emergency in your life right now is restoring trust. Yes. It's not in here, I'm going to parse it. It's not trying to make

everything all okay and take away any more pain, frustration, fear in her right away. It is restoring trust. Absolutely. And when we, when men of character,

like me, like you, find ourselves, we have become somebody we never meant to be. I've been down this road in my marriage to, okay?

The temptation is, to run around and spend a whole bunch of energy trying to make everybody feel okay right now and that gets us right back into yet another problem or two problems usually make it worse and so the path you need to take now is yes you'll have to deal with this debt emergency it's a big big deal but more importantly is you have to bring your wife as a part of this brokenness and this submission that you that you mentioned it is asking your wife what is a path back to trust look like and not you now running around and almost shutting her to the side or bringing her along but more dragging her along and saying, I'm going to fix this. I'm

going to go to this. I'm going to go to this. I'm going to go to this. We're going to meet with this guy. I'm going to talk. It's saying, what do you need to begin to feel safe and trust me again? Okay. That is step number one. That's the big neon sign flashing emergency in your life right now is restoration of trust. And then it's probably going to be something along the lines of, I want to have a budget meeting with you. I want to know where all our accounts are. Here's where our retirement is. Here's the account numbers. Here's how to access it. Here's my cell phone. All those kind of things that reestablish trust at the step by step. I'll call it the micro level that rebuilds a foundation that both of you can anchor into to go do what's going to be

a couple of years of really hard work. Okay. Does that make sense? When I'm I'm saying? It does. Okay. So you saying, I've hid this from you. And actually, I tried to do a noble thing, which is protect you, keep you safe, not worry you. And in so doing, I created a big, big mess. And so here it is. It's on the table. You've done that. I would hug you if you were here. Most men don't have the courage to do that. What you did was brave and good and right. And now it is realizing that the healing process is going to be slower than you want it to be. And on the back end of this, your marriage will be so much stronger than you could have ever possibly imagined it. And you will be a man of character, not only in your words, but in the actions, and she will be

able to anchor fully back into you, and vice versa. You get what I'm saying? I do. We are already seen that already, the just brokenness between the two of us, which has been, which has been beautiful. So I appreciate you. That's right. And, hey, part of this is, and this is unpopular to say, you addressing what might also be an elephant in the room, which is maybe she wasn't the safest person to sit down and talk about finances with. Maybe y'all were creating a dance where she didn't want to hear it or she wants to buy when she wants to buy. And then so you're trying to solve it and you're trying to fix it. And you're coming up with the scheme over here and doing it. Who knows what the dance in your marriage is? But this allows that to all get put on the table over time.

Sure. Okay. Unless you're just a terrible, terrible human, which I'm I'm not hearing it all. These things don't happen in a vacuum. They're co-created by two people in a marriage, and that's all that has to be put on the table. And if you just run out tomorrow and sell your house, you might band-aid over the math problem you all have in front of you, but the problems in your marriage about trust and safety. And do we both relax when we both see each other when we come home? That just gets wallpaper over, and it will show up somewhere else down the road.

It more magnified, right? Okay. So, George is going to walk you through this stuff. My burning commentary is on this Christian financial advisor. Yeah, never talk to that person again, ever, ever. Listen, God loves all of his children. They're made perfect in his image, and some of their cornbread's not done in the middle. And so what he has suggested of you dumping dirty water into another vessel doesn't actually solve the problem.

Would you agree? I don't love it. What do you love about it? Because you're just moving the debt around and putting your home. at double risk. Yeah, you not took the only safe place you and your wife have left, and you've leveraged that. And you made it into one giant pile that's even harder to pay off with a variable interest rate. Yeah, so being underwater five to $7,000 a month. Yeah, explain. What do you mean by your hemorrhaging $7,000 a month? What does that mean? Well, a lot of that has to do with

spending habits. So if we... Which has nothing to do with the debt. And so that's what I'm trying to get at is, Are you investing a dime right now? 401k out of my paycheck. And he didn't advise you to stop investing to get rid of the mess. He did. He did. Yeah. He did stop. He did recommend stopping that.

So if you paused all investing, you guys lived on nothing. What's your mortgage payment? $2,082 a month. Okay, that's not the problem here. You can keep the house. What you need to do is use this income, pause your 401K investments, make sure you're not getting a refund on your taxes. You need that money back in your paycheck. Can you live off of $3,400 a month?

I'm just going to show you the math. If you were able to do that. So if you've got math, then please show me. Here's the math. You make $90,000 net, right? If you stop investing, you're going to have even more, probably closer to $100,000 net. If you put $50 of that towards your debt,

you're debt free in two years. Ta-da. You see the napkin math there? Which leaves $40 or $50 to live off of. Now, I don't know if that's reasonable to have your mortgage, your four walls covered, insurance, and minimum debt payments on that side. But be unreasonable for 24 months. Yeah.

I think this could all be solved by you guys living like you're broke because newsflash, you're broke. So it's an easy problem to solve when you make $100,000 net. You can knock this out in two years without taking on more debt just by doing that debt snowball method. If you say you believe in the baby steps approach, try it. Try it for a year. If you don't make progress and you want to go take out more debt, then you can be my, guess, but I'm telling you, man, you can be debt-free in under two years if you follow this stuff, and your marriage is going to be better for it. We believe in you.

The all-new every dollar is here, and now it's way more than just our world-class budgeting app. There's a ton of advanced features to help you make faster progress with your money, and the average person finds thousands of dollars in margin in just the first 15 minutes of onboarding. So check it out. Start every dollar for free today. You can get it in the app store or Google Play. Kristen is in Buffalo, New York up next. What's going on, Kristen? Hi, guys. Thanks so much for taking my call. Sure. I just have the question that I think is pretty simple. My husband and I have paid off all of our debts,

except for we have his student loan. It's the last one. It's $63,000. And it's in income-driven and repayment with a current monthly, you know, payment of zero. And we're thinking we'd like to refinance it to kind of force ourselves to have to pay it. I know that it's like a weird mind, like Jedi mind trick that we want to do. But we're wondering if we're crazy, if we should just pay through the student loan lender, which two of the loans, it's one loan, but there's four small ones, two or 10,000, two or 20,000. A couple of them have 5.2% interest, and a couple have six. And with refinancing or a personal loan to pay them, the interest would be higher.

So what good would refinancing do at this point? It would, I feel like the loan just kind of hangs out there, and we have two goals. One is to be that for the other is to buy a home. Currently, we know that because we've been told, you know, through our mortgage pre-approval, that the student loan isn't affecting our pre-approval because it's a minimum payment zero. Okay. So we're kind of at this point where we know we need to buy a home eventually,

but we also want to kind of force ourselves to not just let this loan be sitting in the background just because even though it's accumulating interest, the payment zero. So we have a trusted Ramsey Pro who kind of said because of our ages, it doesn't, you know, it would be okay. to kind of be saving per down payment and paying off this debt. How much do you guys make? Total about 120 to 128 a year. Okay, so this debt could be gone in a year if you just hunkered down.

Yeah, we have about $5,000 extra a month we could be putting on this debt. So the math they just laid out is perfectly there. $5,000 a month for $12 months, $60,000. So the loan is done in 12 months. And that's without you guys. I mean, you could probably even scratch up. a little more money, spend a little less, and make it happen faster, couldn't you? For sure, yeah.

That's the plan, is to move through it. Why don't you trust yourself? Well, this loan is kind of not interfering with us. But it is. You're calling a national radio show to talk about this loan. I would say it's very much living in your head rent-free. Oh, it's totally living in my head, but we're also worried what if the right house comes up? and then listen you guys jumped the gun trying to home shop with $63,000 of loan sitting on the other side that loan isn't going away in fact the interest is just adding to it and that loan isn't going away so it's it would light an extra fire under me to start making payments not you know $0 not $100 but $5,000 a month payments on this to knock it out in the next 12 months we definitely have that fire I'm just worried what if something what if something happens and I don't have

that fire six months from now. It's not a soulmate. It's a house. There's going to be more of them a year from now. I don't mean the house. I mean the payment on the loan. Right now we have the fire. Let me say it this way. If you wait for motivation to do anything, if you wait for a quote unquote fire, whatever you're aiming for, you'll never get all the way there. I agree with you John, that's kind of what I'm asking. If we refinance this to our credit union, now that loan is sitting in our bank and we have to look at it every day. So you're trying to make it more difficult to make you more scared of it to make you pay it? That's exactly what I'm trying to do.

Are you an untrustworthy person? You sound trustworthy. I trust. I've been listening to the show for 20 years, and I have been in and out of debt many times, and we're finally on the right track. You've been in and out to where you don't even trust yourself to pay off this debt because you go, well, Kristen's not the kind of person who just pays off debt and stays out of debt. So here's the thing. It's going to be a trust exercise. You need 12 months. You need this. How much do you guys have saved right now? Not a lot. We only have about 5,000 saved.

Okay. And how old are you two? I'm 41. He's 53. Okay. Picture like 10-year-old Kristen. If you said, hey, when? day, you're going to be making $120,000. And then your 10-year-old self is going to say, how much money do you have? And you're going to say, $5,000. Don't you think that's wild that you guys work this hard? And no home. And 60 grand.

Making six figures, and you have nothing to show for it. Well, we had a lot of debt up until recently. We finally just got here, is what I'm saying. I know. I'm afraid. Why did you say? You're like at mile 22 of the marathon and suddenly you're like, I don't think I can make it. just look behind you look how far you've come you for sure can make it it sounds like you know what

it sounds like you're tired here's the math of it you have four loans i love that they're split up please do not refinance into one private more expensive loan because right now in two months that loan is knocked out ta-da you freed up a payment have three left two more months you knocked out the next smallest one that's another payment freed up you can add to the next one do you see that's going to cause you to trust yourself again when you see that kind of progress and momentum? I don't know. I guess so. Yes. Listen, in somewhere big and bold in your home, Christmas of 2026, you're all going to go somewhere awesome because you're not going to owe anybody any money. And the home is just

going to be on a temporary delay. It's not going to happen in 12 months. So you know what? Don't even look. Don't even doomscroll Zillow to see what. could have been because it's you know what because right now zillow is pornography for you it is a way to escape that feeling inside that i'm exhausted i'm not where i should be and i got a hard a hard conversation i have a hard path ahead of me i'm just going to off ramp it here pinterest is pornography right now zillow is pornography right now talking to a uh a real estate agent is an emotional affair right now. Just don't.

Just don't. Concentrate on the one single goal you have, which is we're going to get to zero. And we'll have done it. You get what I'm saying? You've done so good. Yeah. I know that I knew this question sounded crazy.

No, it doesn't sound crazy. It just sounds like you're tired and you're just like, hey, should I just take some performance-enhancing drugs for the last four miles? And the answer is no. I think it's just that we've done so much better under pressure, and I work better under pressure, and we paid off our debt better under pressure. All right, let me give you some pressure.

24 months ago, would you have bet anything politically that has happened would have happened? No. No. Okay, so in 24 months from now, good God almighty, who knows? whether there's going to be no such thing as deferment anymore. I'm just making stuff up whether they're going to demand all of the interest in a lump sum payment or put you in jail. I don't know.

You don't know. There is a ton of pressure on you right now. Okay. And if you want pressure, imagine there's a $5,000 minimum payment due on these loans. Or just switch out of IDR completely to a standard repayment plan. If you're begging for a normal payment, they'll give you one. you don't mean that do you yeah well you're calling us asking you said you said i don't feel the pressure because it's zero dollars okay well you can switch to a standard repayment plan where

it's four hundred dollars five hundred dollars but i'm telling you you can just imagine there's a five thousand dollar minimum payment or all someone's going to come knocking on your door if you need that manufactured pressure in order to do this plan i don't think you need it i don't i just think you're tired. I think you want a house. Yeah. And I think you're so close to the finish line here on this part of your trip. And I think you're frustrated, and you have some shame and guilt because of the past decisions that have led you to have this delay dream of home ownership. And that's a very normal thing. That's not crazy.

That's normal in America today. For better and worse, it's normal. And so I would put the shame and guilt down and go, we make amazing money. We're going to put it to good use. We're going to be out of this thing a year from now. And we're going to have the rest of our lives, debt free. We're going to be homeowners one day. The Christmas present y'all buy each other this year is to get rid of that first student loan.

Love that. That's a great present for both of you. Make a little card if you want to add some finosh to it. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio. I'm George Camel, joined by bestselling author, Dr. John Deloney, open phones at AAA 825-5-225. Sarah is in Columbia, South Carolina up next. What's going on, Sarah? Hi, my question is that I am in the process of trying to leave an abusive marriage, but I have a lot of debt, and I'm trying to figure out what I need to prioritize as far as my money in order to make a safe exit.

Do you all have a bunch of debt, or do you have debt? Both. Okay. We do. I think right now your chief the most important thing for you is to get to a safe place

yeah I physically I feel physically safe but do you work I mean there's just a lot I do okay then I would create your own checking account to have your check deposit into

it deposited into it for the time being and we're going to go into store mode because you're going to need cash right and you're going to take care of your four walls so that means making minimum debt payments on anything that's yours is is everything co signed for are you both on each day um so we are um let's see the car is mine i have a student loan um and the rest of

it is like credit cards and personal loans and that's kind of both well and even if you if y'all or if he, quote unquote, bought a car and both of y'all's income went into a pot and y'all paid that car off, he may have some that he owes you to help pay off your car. All of that said, that's for the lawyers to figure out. Because the debts are going to get parsed out, the assets you'll have are going to get parsed out. That's just, that's the fight. Does your spouse know you're about to file? So we've had a big discussion, and it isn't really going over well, but he's aware, and I do have a lawyer,

and thank goodness I have a family member that has paid my retainer for that, but yeah, he's aware. Yeah, let the attorneys work for you. Okay. If y'all were able to have a big conversation, which almost never happens when there's an abusive spouse, where everybody goes, you're right, here's my piece, here's your piece. Let's shake hands and go down to the courthouse for $300 and file the paperwork on her own and be adults. But you wouldn't be in the situation if you weren't an abusive, unsafe situation. So wanting that to happen, it's not going to happen. Dave gave me a quote one time that I loved. The moment somebody files divorce, it is now a business, transaction. And that's how we're going to treat it. And we're going to let the people who are trained to do business transactions, which is the attorneys, do that stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And I've tried that. I've tried to be as, you know, strong as possible and, you know, not engage, not engage, not engage. Yeah. And he just, he's very emotional about it. That's right. Let your husband say all the

wild stuff, keep every text message, keep all the emails, I'm going to take you for everything, you're going to, all that stuff fine. Your goal now is to take care of you. Do you have groceries, you have a place to stay? Are you able to make your minimum payments? And we're going to go from there. Okay. What do you make? So I make, I just started a new job. I make around 120, which is a great income. Amazing. And the debts that are tied to your name, either joint or solo, what does that add up to? um about almost 70 okay what's the car worth that's in your name um i'm not sure what it's worth it has 15 left on the loan okay i'm just wondering if you get to a tight spot and you could sell

that and downgrade or borrow a car from a family member for now that might be a good move to get you to some better financial footing but i love the idea of you going today creating your own checking and savings account not connected to the bank that you're currently with with your husband and starting basically your new financial life right now to protect yourself and allowing that direct deposit to go there and like John said just stack up cash make minimum payments on the debt don't get behind on it don't let it go to collections but then once the divorce settles you'll know as the dust clears which debts you're going to be owing on what you could do and you'll have a pile of cash to help you get that kick started okay what do you do for

living um I'm a nurse practitioner I was just thinking nurse so His attorney, if he or she is worth their salt, is going to make a claim that he put you through nursing school and so that he should get a part of that cell. All that stuff, like it's not going to come out clean. It's going to be a mess. Right. Divorces a mess. But we're trying to get from here to there.

And from here to there is don't make any wild purchases. Don't over stress with when he started, try to do your best to retain your emotional sanity as he throws whatever grenade he's going to throw. So sorry, you're going through this. Yeah, I hate it for you. All right, let's go out to Rachel up next in Atlanta. What's going on, Rachel? Hey, guys, thanks for taking my call.

Sure. What's your question? Okay, so my parents are aging, and they have Alzheimer's and dementia, and so we are beginning to look at long-term care facilities, assisted living, that kind of thing. And we know that we're going to need to liquidate their assets in order to pay for this, right? and we have their house, they have some annuities, my mom has some stock in AT&T,

and so what I really need advice on is what kind of professional would I need to seek out to help me combine all these tiny little accounts into one big account that would be liquid enough to pay for a facility. So you're trying to piece these puzzle pieces together to go, okay, we have all these random things out here, how do we basically sell off any assets and create a cash account in like a high-yield savings or money market that we can use to fund the rest of their care? Right. Well, the issue that I would see is you're going to need financial power of attorney to make

any financial decisions on their behalf? Right. And so that would depend on... And I pretty much have that. We set up a living trust. Okay. And I am one of the trustees, but the way they worded the power of attorney, basically each of my parents would have to, quote, resign as a trustee in order for me to be able to

completely take over. I am working on getting them to do that, but it is a slow process because there is a lot of pride and a lot of denial. Well, do they have clinical diagnostics around their dementia? Yes. Okay. Then that in and of itself may preclude them from being able to sign off. That's my fear. If they don't have the capacity mentally where they go, yeah, they can sign off on this. They know exactly what they're doing. The courts won't sign off on it. But if you have medical power of attorney, then that's when you step in to make decisions for somebody who is unable to make decisions for themselves.

Okay. And it's a nightmare because you're going to find yourself trying to do the best you can to love and honor your parents well. and in their diminishing cognitive capacity, you're going to become the biggest target, the biggest enemy to them. Yeah. I hope you're wrong in that. I know, I know.

I've just sat with too many people whose parents have dementia and they feel like they're getting hit on one side by insurance companies and care facilities and on the other side getting hit by the person they love the most who is a scared, terrified parent

watching their ability to function and slip to their own fingers. And it just is the, it's the worst. It's a nightmare. So it's just getting yourself, if you're married, you're got brothers and sisters, you're all stealing yourself for the coming storm. But yeah, if they already have been diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer's, then I don't think they can even sign off on anything moving forward.

All right, John, we're going to play a little game. where are they now? We often take calls and then we just, that's it. We'll never talk to them again. Okay, I thought you were talking about one of your ex-girlfriends from middle school or something. She lives here now.

No, that would be hilarious and awful at the same time. No, this is a call from Skyler that you and I took back in February of 2025 this year and she had made some mistakes in college, moved in with her parents as a single mom. Her parents then wanted her to put a mother-in-law suite on the back of their property. She was in Baby Step 2 trying to pay off...

I do remember that. this call now. So she wanted to communicate to her parents that she didn't want to go into more debt. She got an apartment, was scared to tell them. They were using her to get ahead financially. We told her, hey, you got to move out. And she couldn't afford the apartment on her own without her parents helping. So it was a very just toxic codependent situation. She was working long hours, delivering mail. She was scared. And we told her, hey, lean into the hard conversations, into the conflict. This is not forever. This is a season. We gave her some resources. And then something magical happened. She reached back out.

and said, hey, I want to update you guys on where I'm at now. Oh, I hope she doesn't call and be like, you ruined my life. That's always my fear. I'm hoping we've got good news from Skyler. How have you been, Skyler? I've been great. How are you guys doing? Good. Good. That's a relief to hear.

Okay, so what is the update? Did you end up moving out? I did. So I had the conversation with my parents, and I pretty much told him. I was like, I can't afford to put a mother-in-law suite on the back of the property. They pretty much were like, they were just trying to think of a way to help me have my own living space and pretty much be independent while also being close enough to help me with my son and what the conversation boiled down to.

But I found a cheaper apartment, was able to move out. Good. And I'm actually teaching now. Wow. You have a full-time gig, huh? Oh, yeah. Making more money? About the same.

Okay. And how is a single mom life going? What's going on with the kiddo? Um, it's better. I am, he, I'm able to get him in the elementary school near the high school I work at. And so I could drop him off in the morning. I get to pick him up after school. I could spend weekends with him, which before when I was working with the post office, I got lucky to see him maybe an hour or two before he went to bed. Wow. And I didn't see him in the morning. You got your whole life back. It's amazing. Oh, yeah. All right. So I got a boyfriend, so it works out. A boyfriend, enter the picture. Gross. All right. Good for you. Good for you. Good for you.

All right. So I am of the belief that most of the time, not always, but most of the time when aging parents come up with a plan or a scheme that actually deep down they're trying to help and they open up their toolkit and there's just one or two tools in there. And so take me back to that conversation you had with your parents. Did it ruin your relationship with them or when they explain themselves, did you realize, oh, y'all are trying, they're actually trying to help in the way they know how, and maybe their generation was just borrow money or just whatever, but tell me about that relationship, that conversation, and then tell me about your relationship with your parents now? Yeah, that's pretty much how the conversation went. It was they

were trying to help me be independent and be on my own, but still provide the support I needed with working at the post office. Oh, okay. And it ended up being productive conversation. Y'all still talk? You all still close? Oh, yeah. My son goes over there on the weekend still

because he wants to visit his Grammy and Papa. Oh, cool. Love that. The atmosphere has completely changed where before when I was living there with them, things were tense all the time, and now that we all have our own space, it's way more relaxed than there is no tense.

Oh, yeah. We threw a bunch of resources, at you at the last call. Financial Peace University, every dollar. What's the financial progress been like? It's still steady. Okay. Knocking out some debts and Baby Step 2, still working through that? Yes. So when I went through Financial Peace University and I did all the things, I sat down and looked at everything, really. I was able to pay off three credit cards at one time. Wow. Because I didn't realize they were so low. That's great. You're just looking at those minutes. I'm looking at it, just by not ignoring it and not being in denial going, all right, I'm going to put this on paper, put it in the every dollar app, and go, what can I do about this? And you just went, I could knock these three out. Oh, yeah. Knocked those three out. Right now I'm working on, obviously, I still have three more credit cards, so I'm working on those, getting those down. Yeah, how much is left total?

On my credit cards? Yeah, total debt that you have left to pay off in baby step two. Oh, like completely? Yeah. in 15. So you got a journey ahead of you, huh? Yeah, it's student loans. Because I went back to school to get a master's degree, and, you know, at the time, take out a loan was always, you know. Did you finish the master's? Oh, yeah.

I have my master's in marine biology. Okay. And you're using that now to teach, or are you not teaching on that subject? Not teaching yet. I'm hoping to hear back from a job, though. Very awesome. Well, we are rooting for you, Skyler. I appreciate the update.

I love to see just how much life has changed for you in nine months just by having some hard conversations and doing some hard things. Skyler, give, like, so there are, we're heading into the holiday season. Mm-hmm. And one out of three calls of letters that come into my show, the John Deloney show, one out of three of those is either, like, adult, newly adult kids who have cut off their aging parents or aging parents who have, have, cut off their kids and almost always there's one big heavy looming conversation hanging

between that relationship what would you tell the 25 year old the 27 year old the 22 year old that can't it feels like they can no longer be around their aging parents um about that conversation what advice would you give them um well from my experience it's you just have to say it because nine times out of ten it's not as bad as you think it is I'm a huge overthinker and so I had the whole conversation in my head before I even approached my parents about it and that's what scared me into not telling them uh you you replayed that imaginary conversation a thousand times huh oh yeah like every second I wanted to bring it up that conversation to play over again okay and you know people do change too um if you're with if you know for sure

your parents or whoever you have to have that conversation with is making efforts to be a better person they're most like they're more likely going to not react the way that you expect gotcha well i'm proud of you for doing that and and this is what changing your family tree looks like and um oh yeah you're raising a kid that's going to know i can always go to my mom with hard conversations and uh you're living proof that's amazing we're proud of you well thank you it's cool and i appreciate you guys I used everything you guys gave me, and then I shared the books you guys sent me with a friend of mine who needed them to. I love it. The ripple effect continues, John. Yeah, pass it along. Pass it along.

There's so many pieces there. You know, we behind the scenes, we talk about the Ramsey show as being more than about money. It's expanded because we realized half the calls are about relational dysfunction, not about the money thing, which is what they called in about, as we dig one layer deeper. Or it's about a work thing and a career thing and getting the income up. And this one really hits all three. of those buckets. Correct. She had a career problem, she had the money problem, and she had the relational problem with the parents. And it's amazing how you can work on all three at once, and there's a domino effect.

Well, and the underlying foundation to all those problems is this one uncomfortable truth. You cannot go around scary things. You can't go around debt. You can't go around that big, hard, scary conversation you need to have with your loved ones. two or three times. You can't go around a job that's not working for you and your new kit. You can't go around it. You got to go right through it. And it doesn't always have a happy ending like Skyler has, right? But there's more happy endings out there if you will just head right through

the discomfort. Well, most people have pre-decided, well, here's what's going to happen. So what's the point? It's the imaginary conversation. I'm going to tell George, you're never going to tell George that, right? And then they're going to say that, it's that kind of rumination is never it's never happy uh bernay brown calls it dress rehearsing tragedy you're just you're performing it without actually doing it just go we're heading the holiday season if you got to have that hard conversation have it now's the time if you realize i can't even afford the christmas presence i'm about to start buying then have that reality go right through the middle of the discomfort talk about it at thanksgiving yes at christmas in a blow up argument that's exactly right

You set the boundary, you set the expectation, and that's really going to create the best life for you instead of being resentful. I'd rather you feel a little guilty. That's the best case scenario. Well, John, the old dog's got some new tricks. We've done something different on the Ramsey show and started introducing video calls. So now we don't just get to hear from the audience. we get to see their beautiful faces. So if you want to be a part of that,

you've got a question you'd like to submit and you want to be on video, we'd love that. Go to ramsysolutions.com slash ask. Let us know your question. And in the subject line, just put video call so our team knows that you are willing and able to be on video.

And the experience has been really cool so far. So we'd love more of those video calls. Go to ramsysolutions.com slash ask subject video call. Looking forward to talking and seeing you guys. All right, let's go to Grace in Jacksonville, Florida up next. Grace, how can we help today? Hi. I'm sorry, I'm really nervous to me, you guys.

I am 19, and I want to know how to the best prepare and invest in my future, even though I make a low income while having debt and helping my mother pay bills. Wow, that's a lot to take on as a 19-year-old. What kind of debt are you in? It's just credit card. but okay how much um uh 3 3,375 okay and what do you make um I work two part-time jobs and a couple other things on the side but I still only make about OOS and uh 28,000 28,000 okay and you're are you in school what's going on on the other side um I am in college I'm almost done with my um associates and arts

degree and then I want to go into communications. Great. Is that part of your undergrad? Yes. Okay. So it's a four-year situation? Two-year and then I'm going into a two-year university for the bachelors. Great. Okay. And are you cash flowing that or are you going into student loan debt? I don't have any student loans. It's all financially paid for

and I have Chapter 35 from my dad being in an emergency. Okay, great. That's one of my goals for you. You're talking about how to invest in myself. It's to avoid student loan debt. It's a plague among young adults, and it's going to propel you forward if you can do this debt-free. Now, tell me about mom.

What's going on with you helping mom with expenses? So my parents are divorced, and I live with my mom. So she's basically a single mother and husband for, many a couple years um i use i use i use my money to help her pay bills up to like 250 to 500 every two weeks um and that goes to the mortgage on our house as well um so like with that the mortgage bills and all of that i do end up like spending a lot of money so 500 to a thousand bucks a month is what you're doling out from your take-home pay basically is she is she sitting you down and saying need this money to survive or is this you just trying to pitch in or is this you pay rent like

what's the arrangement here um it's it's not it's the first one um like just to be able to just at least get us by i i i know she asked for that she asked is she asking for yes yes okay is she working full-time um yes she is a director at a daycare center okay okay and what is she make. Do you know? About $50,000 a year. Okay. And it's a brand new job, though. Okay. I'm wondering the future for Grace means you're probably moving out eventually. And so I want to make sure that mom has a sustainable plan versus, well, if I don't have Grace's money, I'm going to be broke. Well, and here's the problem for you, Grace, is you can't make that choice for her. You can't make that decision for her. And ultimately, you can't be held responsible for the choices she makes.

and so on the back end of divorce one of the hardest conversations I have with people who just got divorced is you cannot afford the home y'all have been living in and people want to keep everything the same except for the divorce and the divorce is so painful and it's so messy and yada yada but we want everything else to stay the same and that's what's one of the hardest conversations and you as a 19 year old you can't continue to to prop up a bigger, harder decision that your mom needs to make on her own as an adult. If you want to choose to live there and say, hey, I want to shift this from, hey, 200 this month, I need 400 for next month. I'm telling you right now, Grace, this is a recipe for resentment. And your mom doesn't deserve that and you don't either. It's getting really clear with, I want to come up with a rent number that I pay you every month. Okay.

you know what I'm saying and that's you stepping into your 19 year oldness your young adulthood and saying I want to begin to clarify my roles and responsibilities in my life because you can't make a plan if there's the emotional weight and the reality to hey I need a thousand bucks hey I need 500 bucks hey I need 200 bucks over here because here's what you're going to start doing rightfully so hey why did you buy that we didn't need that you're going out to eat again like you're going to start these little bitty cracks in your relationship with your mom. And so I want you to own what you can on your side of that relationship, which is clarity, clarity, clarity, clarity. And like George said, I want you to start considering being in your own apartment by 20. You don't have to, but what would the math look like? What would you need to do? What would the world look like if that was your plan? So we, me and my mom actually used to live in an apartment and we just moved into a house because we couldn't afford the rent anymore. See, she purchased that home?

It is with the mortgage, so... Yeah, she bought it. She can't afford that home either. Yeah, what's the mortgage on it? Do you know? The monthly or the full... The monthly mortgage. About 1,700?

Okay. Well, can she afford that on her own if you were to move out today? Because my guess is she's probably bringing home $3,000 something a month. I don't think she would. So that's my fear, is that this mortgage is over half of her take-home pay, and the only reason she could afford it was because you're there helping to prop it up artificially right now. So that's going to be part of that hard decision that John said. That's not your responsibility.

That's the sad truth. And so if she has to end up selling this home because you decide to move out, I don't want you to feel guilty for that. Okay. Because then you're going to begin to say, well, I can't afford to finish this degree. Or I can't take this job in this town that they just, they want to hire me for because I've got to stay. And it's a, it's a counterintuitive way that's going to really cap you. And your mom trying to take care of you, you're like, we're right or die together.

That's a ton of weight for a teenager to carry. Or let me put it this way. I always tell parents you can't call your kid your friend until they reach 25 because a teenager can't carry the weight of an adult friendship and of the full adult responsibilities. It's a lot. And I'm not saying you let your mom be destitute, whatever, but she's got to make grown-up decisions.

And if she has to get this daycare job and then go from there to working holiday hours at Target or whatever to pay her bills, man, that's hard. and it's tough and she's an adult and she needs to make those math decisions. If she wants to rent out a room to her daughter, awesome. Let's just get that real, real, real clear. Okay. And lastly, Grace, what was the $3,300 in credit card debt for? So it's actually from my mom.

This is a pre-planned, prepaid thing, like some of a while ago that my old school was doing this Europe tour. And so we went because it was like really cheap to do. It was with a whole school education. So you put it on the credit card? Yeah, my mom did. Okay. Then let me tell you this, $3,300 at 29% APR is not cheap. And so if I were you, I would pay off that credit card, cut it up, freeze your credit so that you can't make another bad financial decision, especially at 19. And I think I just heard you say something right there at the end of that call. Never, ever, ever, ever let your mom talk you in to borrowing money on your credit,

on your social security number, on your credit cards. That is a nightmare recipe. You're setting a precedent. Blow up your relationship with her forever. Grace, it's normal to be broke at 19, but it's not normal to have this kind of intertwined financial life with your mother. And so that's the thing I would caution you against. Hey, you don't have to wait for Black Friday to get Black Friday deals.

The sale is on now in our store. That includes $12, $12, questions for humans decks for my friend, Dr. John Deloney, audiobooks and ebooks for just $6.99 and $15 assessments. So much more that came from. Go to Ramsey Solutions.com slash store. or if you're watching on YouTube or podcast, click the link in the description. Chris is in Cleveland up next. What's going on, Chris?

Hi, thanks for taking from the bottom of my heart, my call. Oh, we're on it. I'm calling. Oh, you guys are great. Long-time listener, I wish I would have followed through. Everybody out there listen to them. It would have been great. Thank you.

But what I'm calling about is there's a long history, but I'm 70. years old. I, my husband, my first husband passed away. My second husband passed away, but with the second husband, he and, well, I did, I adopted my grandchild

because of situations. Eventually, because of different things, I bought a condo on my own. The condo now is worth about $425,000. I have Social Security and other things coming in. Jacob now, the child, is 19 years old,

and he is in an HVAC program, which I'm really proud of him for doing that, and he's a good kid. But I'm wondering, he kind of wants to venture out, and I'm to the point where I kind of want to sell the condo, and I'm wondering I'm wondering if I should sell it and buy him something or if I should just stay here

and help run it out to him and this new girlfriend but I'm not sure what to do. I can tell by your voice you know the answer to all that is no why do you feel the pressure to do something that you don't want to do I want to make sure that I you know his mom is a wayward child and I hold on hold on hold on but I want to make sure he's taken care of I want to make sure he has something I'm 70 are you paying for this H-FAC program?

No, the H-FAC program, he has gotten, you know, some foundations and everything for it. And I do have, I do have money from his grandfather. No, I'm not paying for it. Okay. Distill down for me what your actual question is. Are you asking, should you sell this? your home so that you can buy him a house? Well, the point is, I want to make sure he's taken care of.

This condo is getting to be a lot for me. What is taking care of mean? Yeah. There's a difference of he's not going to be on the streets to he has a paid for a home at 19 years. You adopted him and saved him. He is where he is because of you. I know.

I understand. Okay. So you have given him every. everything I know and now he's on a good path he's going to be

one of these new blue collar millionaires that everybody's talking about but you know what I'm to the point where I don't want

this condo anymore okay that's a separate issue disconnect that from your grandson where do you want to move where are you going to live because you're going to live

to be 95 you got 20 more years oh I hope so okay you got 20 more years he's going to be 40 where are you going to go. Are you going to go rent somewhere? And that's when I don't know what to do. I don't know because he doesn't want to stay. He's talking about moving out. And if he's talking about moving

out and him and this girlfriend for 800 bucks a month can afford something. Okay. What's wrong with that? There's no way. What's wrong with that is you're saying he can only afford 800 bucks a month? As a Christian. Okay, there we go. That's it. This is a violation of your values. Right. You selling your house and moving where you want to move is issue one.

If you don't like this condo anymore, great, but you've got to have a place to live. And if you've already paid this thing off and you're not going to something, I would suggest you hang on to this condo because nobody can take it from you if Social Security goes belly up in the next 10 years. if Social Security doesn't keep up with inflation, which it hasn't been. If, if, if, if, nobody can take your home from you. I know, but part of it is Social Security. I mean, I've got $42,000 coming in per month. $42,000 per month? Yes, no, per year.

Okay, I was like, I don't know what kind of Social Security I want that program. Okay. I want that program. I solve. So you got $4,200 of income per month. You have no debt at all, right? No.

You live fairly frugally. There's two cars. You know, I try. Absolutely. And I just, part of me really wants to move out of the condo. To where, though? To where? I'm thinking about senior place.

Great. That's amazing. Can you afford that? Absolutely. I mean, my mom had a place, and she just passed. away within the year, $1,800 a month. Okay, get with a smart vestor pro, sell your home, put the $425 you're going to get from it in an account that will earn money to make sure for the next 20 years you can afford this place.

But what do I do about Jacob? You can't. Here's the most beautiful part. He's turning into a grown man and he's in the HVAC world. He's going to make great money and he gets to figure that out. for himself and my fear as you stepping in is actually going to harm him more than it's going to help him when my grandmother when I came home from college and she sat me down and said I had five I think at the time earrings and my hair was all long and she said I don't like your earrings

I'm not Jacob though I know but I'm just saying like my grandmother who I love told me she didn't like a thing I was doing okay and I heard her and I actually made some changes in my life but that was the extent of the power she held over me and you're trying to take ownership or even asking yourself that I do something wrong because he's at 18 or 19 wanting to move in with his girlfriend into a cheap apartment I'm going to free you from that no you saved his life okay okay all right thank you thank you for your time you've done something amazing you've instilled character into this and gave him a safe place and showed him what love looked like that is worth far more you handing him a condo at 19, which no 19 year old needs handed to them.

And handing somebody to rent somewhere and figure it out. A half a million dollar condo is not going to keep him from living with his girlfriend. Maybe you sitting him down and saying, hey, this is a big deal to me. I want to be heard on this. I'm your grandmother, and slash your mom. Don't do this. Then he gets to decide what he's going to go do next. But, yeah, buying him a house, whatever.

Sell your condo. That's great. make sure you sit down with the smart vester pearl and what to do with the cash so that 20 years of living in a residential facility you're going to be okay you're always going to have money to take care of yourself that's the greatest gift you can give for him is him not having to come pay your rent the last 10 years of your life so making sure you're good to go that's a gift but man yeah be heard on this values thing I love Chris is such a sweet sweet person if she's taking grandson applications I'm willing to apply My grandma, God rest her soul. Here's what she gave us, and we were grateful for it. A hundred bucks at Christmas, 100 bucks on the birthday. That's a huge.

No condos. I turned out okay. Barely. But I loved that my grandmother had, I mean, she didn't have the courage. She was just amazing. But she said, I don't like that hair. I don't like those earrings. I like this woman.

You need to marry her, which when I was dating my wife. Like, that was awesome. That wisdom. Yeah, it was great. But I still at 19, 20, 25, whatever. I had to go make the next decision I thought was the right one. Yeah. I mean, just thinking me at 19, you hand any 19-year-old, any large asset or any large amount of money,

they're going to squander it and screw it up. He'll sell it within the month. Our brains are not developed enough to handle something like that. And best case scenario, it destroys your work ethic. Because, like, well, I was working so hard so one day I could own a home, and now it's just handed to me. So who needs work anymore? Welcome back to The Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio.

I'm George Campbell, joined by Dr. John Deloney, open phones at AAA 825-5-225. Page awaits in Michigan up next. What's going on, Paige? Hi, thank you so much for taking my call. So my question today is, how do I tell my mom that I don't want her to be my financial advisor? Ooh. Is she literally a financial advisor? That is her profession?

So, for background, she is becoming a financial advisor right now. My current financial advisor, she was working for, and he's retiring this year, so she is taking over for him. Very simple, very simple conversation. I got you. You ready? Yes. I need you to just be my mom. Yeah.

So the issue with that is, actually, I was, I was, I was, meeting with a financial advisor that actually works right next to her office yesterday. She was leaving work early, and right as I was walking into the other door, she was walking out, and she was pretty upset that I was, another context, I have a 529 plan that was set up years ago, and yesterday I converted it over to start the process of converting it to an IRA, and she was pretty upset with me when she saw me. Okay, but like if she was a therapist, you wouldn't go to her for therapy.

Yes. Okay, true. That's so true. And so when she, I want you to tell her, hey, mom, if you were going to graduate school to get a graduate degree in therapy, I would tell all my friends to come see you. But I can't have you as my therapist. I need you as my mom. And I'm so proud of you for going to get your financial stuff. That's awesome. But I want you to stay my mom. Of course, I'm going to ask you your opinion on stuff, but I want to preserve this relationship. Okay. What do I do if she feels effective?

by that because she you can't control that you can't control that okay yes and can i be honest with you you've probably been having to solve for that your whole life having you yes i think so yes mom's going to get mad don't do this don't say that mom's going to get mad what you learned as a really young kid is that it was your job to take care of the emotional needs of the adults in your life and that's never a kid's job yeah And so if your mom, if you do what's best for you and your mom decides to go off the handle, scream and yell, not talk to you, not invite you to Christmas, that's heartbreaking and you have to grieve that.

But that's a choice that she is as another adult made to put conditions on her love for her daughter, which is you will be one of my clients. Yep. Okay. You know, it's so funny. My husband actually just told me this last night, too. He's a huge fan of yours. Smart guy.

All right. Do not tell him that you called us. Tell him, be like, you know what, honey, you're so smart and handsome. You're right. And he's going to be like, oh, yeah. I love it. Thank you. Yeah. Here's my take, too, page. I want someone who's unbiased and unclouded. And the truth is your mom loves you so much. She can't. Her judgment will be clouded by her love for you and what she wants for you and what she didn't get to do and what she would have done if she was your age. I want, I just want an old guy who's like, here's the math. here's what to invest in. I go, okay, cool. Or an old woman. This is not sexist. But you know what I mean?

I want someone so unbiased and so far removed who's looking at my situation from 30,000 feet, not somebody who was, you know, changing my diapers a decade ago. Right. So it's just harder when it's someone that close to you. So it's not out of that you don't love her or you don't trust her. No, it's because you love her and trust her that you want to keep the roles clear. Yes, exactly. And I know you guys, I would say don't mix family and money.

giving dinner tastes different. Yes. And imagine she moves you in a bunch of funds. And those funds, because they're on the market and they're part of a roller coaster system, they go down. I don't want that. Yeah, right? I don't want you looking at her being like, oh, our portfolio was good last month until

mom moved it to, right? It's just going to protect you, you are a long term. Perfect. Okay. Thank you so much. Of course. I feel like I always need to hear it from another of story. from an unbiased third party yeah there we go that's it

this is so fun george if my mom worked in concrete i would ask her to come help my fix my driveway my mom was an english professor um when it came to hey will you help me like edit this of course but that's not a it's not it's just does the comma go here the states are different here it's there's yeah there's not all this other drama involved So there's certain jobs, man, absolutely. My friend was just telling me, so she's selling her house, and her dad just became a real estate agent. He sold zero homes.

Guess who's the real estate agent? Guess who's not going to sell their house? Dad. And so I'm like, this is a nightmare situation. But she's like, well, I just, I want to help him out. And I'm like, this is not, this is scary. Well, you're choosing, I'm going to, and by the way, you're not helping out as much as you are placating. I would rather him not be sad than we.

sell our house and if he chooses to be sad great and here's what's going to happen he's going to struggle to sell that house first one just the way it goes and he's going to start panicking and feeling a little bit shamed and then he's going to not call back all the time and then Thanksgiving dinner's oh that was the other thing she said yeah he's not great at like details and and keeping up on stuff and getting back to text and emails like that's who you want selling house let him be have the privilege of just being your dad yes amen That's all we got to say. All right, Allison is up next in Richmond, Virginia.

What's your question, Allison? Yes, so I have a 12-year-old that has a 12-and-a-half that's been watched in and listen to the Ramsey show with us and watching her dad and I do our baby steps. And she's been saving money because she wants to buy a car in several years. So she has a check-in account and a savings account, and we actually went to the bank yesterday. We were going to take a chunk of her savings and move it to a money market. But they said that because she's under 18, we can't do it. do that. So I wanted to know, should we open a CD? Or would you suggest that she's gaining more

interest than just the little savings account? Yeah. Well, she's making like 0.0 something percent. Yeah. Right. You could do a, as the parent or guardian, you could open a high yield savings account. That's what I would do. And designated as a savings account for the child. Okay. So it's just kind of a label on there that it's for the kid. okay so okay as we ask about this you can do a money market put in your names and then just turn it over to her when she's 18 but her name couldn't be on it exactly you could just transfer it over and if you want a great high-yield savings account usually your brick and mortar banks have terrible high-yield savings accounts terrible rates so you might want to look at an

online option and one that i love and use is from our friends at fair wins and you've heard fair ones credit union studio they have an awesome high-yield savings account so you could open that in your name, label it for her, and start stacking away money in there. And it's going to make, you know, 10x what you're making in your current bank. And that's what I would do. Cs I don't love because the money's locked up and you got to time it perfectly for it to mature, all of that. And the rates and high-yield savings accounts are as good as a lot of the CDs out there. And it keeps a little bit. Don't lose this. She sounds like an extraordinary 13-year-old. Very mature. Is that fair? Yeah, she is. Okay. One thing, a gift you can give.

her that's not going to feel like a gift in the moment is to remind her through things like this that you are still the parent. I like that. Okay? Because when she goes to buy a car, she's going to save $7,000 to go buy a car. You are going to say you can or cannot buy this car because you're 16. Right. Right?

And I'm not going to let you buy a cool truck that's been dropped. Right? Because I'm still your parent. This is a great way to say, hey, um, I'm proud of you. This is your money. You've earned it. But we're going to put it in this account because it can earn more money for you. And I like the 401 Dave plan. Maybe you match what she puts into that. And she gets a $14,000 used car four years from now.

Now we're talking. Buying or selling your home is a big deal. With all the clickbait headlines and conflicting data out there, it's hard to know what's really happening in the housing market. So let's make the trends easy to understand. The median home prices held steady around $424,000. In October, about one in five houses saw a price cut, which means buyers might have more room this winter to negotiate and snag a better price. Mortgage rates dip slightly to about 5.5% in October, giving some buyers breathing room. But since rates are unpredictable, the best time to buy is when you're financially ready. Not when

rates drop. Do not try to time the market in that way. So if you want to learn more about how market trends and get some free tools to help you buy or sell with confidence go to ramsysolutions dot com slash market or click the link in the show notes if you're listening on podcast or watching on youtube victoria is in temple texas up next what's going on victoria hey thanks so i yeah so my husband and i have no consumer debt but we're about to close probably in january on our house which will be about 260 after the down payment maybe a little bit of us because we're in it right now with my income. Right now I work, it's called PRN. It's as needed. So it works because I have two young kids. I have a two and a half year old and a 10-month-old. So right now, though,

we're looking at, well, what if I took, there's a full-time night's position coming up. I work to social work in the ER usually. There's a full-time night's position coming up in the spring. So we're looking at, well, what if I took that? And we just worked really hard for a season in order to pay it off, like we could pay our house off in about three and a half years. And so... What's stressing you out about this house? Why the aggressive nature? Well, that's the thing, and that's kind of why I'm, you know, trying to get some advice is because it's not necessarily stressing us out. We have a lot of peace with where we're at right now,

but the idea of looking forward and seeing, you know, a short sprint and then being at the end of it and being totally free, which is huge to us, being able to do, you know, what we need to do, want to do if we feel called to go somewhere else, do something else, like all that kind of freedom is just really appealing to us. So I don't want to like that. You're talking to two guys who are obsessed with not owing people. Yeah. I feel the exact same pain.

It just, just know that it comes at a cost. Mm-hmm. And it does, it, it wears you out around the edges. In my brain, I'm going, well, right now with the, with a two and a half year old and a 10-month-old, this is when they need you the most. And so could we delay this aggressive, you know, you know, take until maybe when they're three and five. Okay, now life is a little easier. You can afford to take a little more sacrifice. That's a personal decision. I'm just looking at the

variables as a dad with two young ones like you. Right. It would be a really hard season for me to sacrifice right now versus when they're a little bit older. Yeah, I kind of look at it two different ways. Like, I think it would be a different sacrifice at that point. It is. As I kind of look at it, I'm like, they're not really going to remember this time. I mean, I'm there when my mom watches them when I'm not home. Their nervous system will. Their nervous system will. Yeah.

Yeah. But again, you have the right word. Any path you take is a sacrifice, and any path you take comes with tradeoffs. Yeah. So if we play this out where you don't make this sacrifice, how long will it take to pay off the mortgage if you just make extra payments? with your current income. What's that trajectory? That would be more like... Five years? I think when I looked at it.

No, it's more like maybe eight. Okay. And then let's also fast forward. You guys will be making more money two years from now, four years from now than you are today. Correct? Probably.

Or is there a world where you want to stay home for a season? Or are you wanting to continue through that? I mean, my long-term goal is to be home. I was home for the first about year and a half of my son's life. went back to work actually right before I had my second to try to stack up cash for this down payment. Okay. And so, you know, I want to eventually be home. And that's part of it, too, is like at that point I could just be home and not have this.

Let me ask, I'm going to ask George a question on your behalf, okay? So this mortgage you're taking out is 260? Yeah, at tops after down payment. All right. So let's say, after down payment, for easy math, let's say $250, okay? That's what y'all come in at. George, could they take one year and just go B-A-N-A-N-A-S, get it down to where they owe $125 and then go recast that to where their payment is $125,000, basically their existing mortgage, which keeps all the

interest the same, everything's the same, except now your monthly payment just plummets so that you could then stay home and you have $125,000 our mortgage? I like that plan. What does your husband make? he's actually starting a new job this week where he'll be making 80 his take home after all the I calculated the whole thing it should be about um 2,700 a paycheck per paycheck okay and then what are you making right now well right now I make one to three thousand a month because I work you know I pick up shifts if I took this job my take home after you know retirement and all that would be

maybe around sixish oh wow so let me throw um a third thing that a variable in here that I always recommend to brand new parents okay make six month plans make three month plans because what happens sometimes is people make four year commitments and they have a 10 month old and then in six months you absolutely hate every second of your life waking up and being away from this barely one year old kid yeah and you feel trapped because quote unquote we made a deal and so what if y'all say we're going to do try this plan out but we have it already on the calendar we already have a half day retreat plan with just the two of us to say do we still like each other do we still is our are we still like hanging out with each other

do we still like going to bed at the same time do we still does our intimacy life are we still going the way we want to be do we have the life that we want to have right this second and is a sacrifice still worth it. And that gives both of you permission to say, I hate what we're doing to go, cool, pull the plug. You get what I'm saying? That way you don't feel trapped. Yeah. At first when we started talking about it, like we were like, no, we're not doing that. That's crazy. And then as we've talked about it more, we're like, well, what if we try it? And then we definitely have that understanding together of like, well, if we do this, not committing to more than like a year. And if we feel good about it at that point

keep going. But if not, then we stop. Or even if something sooner comes up. Because that's the great thing about my job now is I have that freedom to work when it works for us and not work when it doesn't work for us. And make no mistake, what you're doing is like clinically, technically crazy. Right, it is. It's abnormal. It's outside of the normal. And it could change everything for the rest of your life. But if you all set the foundation of your marriage on fire to get to this thing, then when you get there, you cross that finish line and you got nothing left to give where you look back and realize we don't like each other.

We don't like the parents we've become. We haven't been intimate in five years. Like it will come at a cost. And so it's constantly going back and checking in. The reason I can't tell you don't do this is it's exactly what I did. Yeah. And I don't regret it. But I wish my wife and I had had better conversations on the front end.

And we had a lot. And I'm glad that we both, I'm glad that we did it. So it's both in. But just go in very wide-eyed that this is going to come at a cost. Yeah. Well, definitely do. And that's why I'm trying to seek wisdom is I know, like, you know, just the night schedule and switching back to days to be with them on my days off. And like, you know, that just would be a lot. It will be a lot alone. And then also my kids. Right. But I am a lot. When I owe somebody money, I just don't sleep as well. And I know because I've tracked it. Right. I just don't, it just weighs on me. And so everybody's a little bit different there. But, man, I always tell folks, go, if you can do it in two years, then just hit the gas. you're looking at doubling that to four years.

What's the mortgage payment going to be likely? I think it'll be around 18 or 19. Depends on what the interest rate comes to. Okay. It sounds like your husband could cover that if he was just, if he was just his income. Yeah, we designed our life so that if I really wanted to be home, I could be. Good. That's what I was going to tell you.

Same page, same team. I didn't want you to craft a life where you both have to work full time and you have no options. No, no, no. So the fact that you did this. We crafted this to be very flexible. Well, I think you have options then, and I think you'll know pretty quickly if it's working for the family, if it's working for you, if you wanted to try it for a season. That might be what I would do is just test it out. My wife did this.

She came back to work after she had a baby. Four months later, she was like, I need to be home. But at least we knew. You know, you know that you know once you've tried it out. So I would encourage you to try it out. And the good news is it's not a sin. If you pay it off in five years instead of three, you're still so far ahead of America. it's mind-blowing. I'm just so proud of you guys for pre-deciding that you don't want to carry this

mortgage for 15, 30 years. Commit to a short-term goal. Hit it, re-evaluate. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. Open phones at AAA 825-5-225.5-2-25. Today's question of the day is sponsored by YREFI. If you've tried everything to fix your defaulted private student loans and nothing's worked, YREFI can help. They build custom, fixed rate plans based on what you can actually afford. Learn more at YREFI.com slash Ramsey. That's the letter Y, REFY.com slash Ramsey, not available in all states. All right, today's question comes from Nathan in Georgia. Nathan writes, I'm in college and I'm trying to earn a degree that will make me the most money in the quickest amount of time.

You just don't like that. I don't enjoy the field I'm studying, but my goal is to chase money and then figure out what I want to do after graduation. I really don't like that. Am I wrong to chase money instead of career satisfaction? Yes. Yes. Yes.

And then more yes. And then yes after that. Wow. Okay. I'm trying to parse this. Earn the degree that will make me the most money in the quickest amount of time. What is that? even mean. So the ROI on this degree. So that means like you're going to get into med school and become a doctor or you're going to work. Nope. It's the quickest amount of time. And so. So it's just

whatever I can do in a four year degree that will ROI with the highest paying job on the other side. Correct. And then I will figure out what I want to do after graduation. So there's no real career on the other side or then whatever pays the most. Yes. You can do that. You can, but it's will not work out long term. And so I know I'm in the minority on this and I know I'm biased because I worked in colleges for years. The degree you get, the skill you learn how to do, the trade you learn, whether you're learning the trade of communication, you're learning the trade of counseling, you're learning the trade of how to work in a business. That is important. And so is if you have to have a degree with 128 hours in it, that means you're going to have multiple

professors over the course of your time. That means you're learning how to operate with 30 or 40 different bosses. What does this boss want in that paper versus what this boss wants? What is this one? You're also learning to work with your classmates. You're also learning to navigate and learn how to do quote unquote life, how to pay your bills, how to be on time. And so to just distill down education into a transaction, I'm morally opposed to that. And I think we've reduced it to high schools are struggling with this. I just need this grade so I can get this test. And what we've done is create a system where the only thing that matters is not what you have learned or no, but what does that end report cards say? And we're finding that there is more A's than ever

and we're falling off a cliff in terms of, oh, you don't know how to do math. You don't know how to write, right? You don't how to think on your own. And so if you reduce this education to quick as this, quickest that most ROI, you're going to run into a mess. Okay? So that's number one. Number two, don't hear me say that what you get a major and doesn't matter. It absolutely does. And there's a bunch of insane majors out there that are not a good use of your time and money. So be thoughtful about that. The next bigger thing here is, am I wrong to chase money instead of career satisfaction? Yes. The number three on our study of millionaires The number three was teachers.

If you pursue something you love and that you become good at over time and you are helping people, you have to make real life choices about the math problem that is your life. And what I love about teachers being number three is my wife was a teacher. She knew what this job was going to pay. And so she made choices on her undergraduate degree and she made choices that her first car she bought was a corolla. And she thought it was going to go for 25 years.

I guarantee that car is still driving somewhere. she made peace with the Corolla life she made peace with this is what I'm going to do and so this is what I want to have and she would have fallen right in line with other teachers that you become a millionaire over time because you make choices about your lifestyle right but if you chase money

it will never end well it just won't end well it will never be enough and if you get to some certain goal the goalpost will just move and you'll be going you'll be calling us saying hey I make 300,000 doing medical device sales and I hate it

right can I go back to school for the thing I love. I'm like, well, dude, just do that now. Do that now. Or don't go to school at all. If you just want to go make a bunch of money, go start a landscaping company and go bust your butt and make six figures the first year. You can do that too. This is America. You have the choice. But chasing money in and of itself is a terrible goal. Instead, go, what do I love to do? What can I get really good at? And the money will follow. And the money will follow. Yes. That to me is the magic question. That's a sustainable formula. never comes up in because I my whole my whole job trajectory has been the one thing I'm pretty

good at is sitting behind closed doors of hurting people I did that as a dean of students I did that as a crisis responder now I do that as a YouTuber and one day this will all go away and I'll the job will change again that's it's it will change again but my identity is separate from it has to be from a job title the world's too crazy it's moving too fast your job titles are going to change. The job we have right now did not exist when I graduated. And so chasing money or chasing a, I got to get this degree so I can go as fast. I can't. Man, who knows where I would be right now? Would have fallen off a cliff. But get real good at the thing that you do, right? You are really good at at distilling down complex information and helping people. That would be good across a number of

fields. It just happens to be this one right now. What is the thing you're really good at and what lights you up and then go chase that? And by the way, people don't want to do business with someone who they know is just chasing money. They can smell the inauthenticity four miles away. And so you will actually suffer financially if you're just plain goal is chase money. Nobody wants to do that when you're desperate for the sale to make another buck. So I hope that helps, Nathan. Hope you're listening out there. Hope all young people listen to this conversation because this could spare you a lot of heartache. All right. Savannah is in Montgomery, Alabama. What's going on, Savannah?

Hey, so I am looking to get some advice on a repossession situation that happened after a divorce, and I'm stuck paying for it. Oh, man. So is your divorce finalized? Yes, it's been finalized. The vehicle was awarded to him in the divorce. I've tried to communicate with the loan company. They don't care, honestly, because my name is on the loan as well. After the divorce, he just didn't pay the truck, and it got repoed back in June or July, I believe.

They've sent auctioned the vehicle off, and now they've sent me a letter for the remaining balance. The deficiency amount. How much is that? 7,000, I'm sorry, the whole balance is 12,700. $14.30. Okay. Have you called your attorney to circle back? I have not. What did the divorce decree say? No longer being recorded. I'm sorry? What did the divorce decree say? So whatever was in his possession at the time of the divorce was awarded to him, which is the, was the vehicle. But did it say he was responsible for the car payments or that you were? Well, it said so that the loan was in

both of our names. And it said, my debt was to be to me and his debt was to be to him. Okay. And I had asked them about this, you know, before, and they just told me, you know, it's got my name on it. I have to go with it. No, legally, they don't, the lender doesn't care about the decree, but it just, you know, if you could take legal action against them, if you wanted to pursue that. I think the easiest route to go is just try to settle because you are legally responsible for it. And so if you can settle for, instead of 12, 7, if you can come up with five or six and they can call it paid off, I would do that. So they did send me a letter. That's what I got this week telling me that they would settle for $7,628.58.

Perfect. Okay. How fast could you save that up if you just worked your tail off and did nothing else but save up to get this car out of your life? I mean, I don't know. On the letter, they're giving me 36 months to pay that off. I don't know if that's going to include interest or what. It may have some fees on there. You may be able to negotiate those off if you can say, hey, I'm going to pay you. this money in a year, but I need you to remove all these extra fees. Okay. So, I mean, I'm a single mom, and I work five full days a week. And then the weekends that I don't have my kids, I work those weekends as well. Do you have any other debts right now? I don't. I have my house. Okay, just a house. I would put all my guns toward this. Would this be a case of going to a credit union and getting a loan and getting this thing knocked out? If you could do

that? Ideally, that would be great. I mean, when he left me, he destroyed everything. Yeah, your credit's tanked because of the repo. My credit was like 400 probably. Yeah. You might go to a credit union and take the divorce decree and explain it and they may work with you because you're in a different situation, especially if you bring your work, your current hours that you're working right now, they may give you that loan knowing there's an extenuating circumstance, but maybe not. our scripture of the day isaiah 4817 i am the lord your god who teaches you what is best for you who directs you in the way you should go eddie vetter said life moves fast as much as you can learn from your story you have to move forward chip is in dallas texas up next what's going on chip

uh well get straight to the point guys um My father and I are in a business together. I've got two other brothers and one sister. They don't participate in the business and never have. My parents are getting a little bit older, and I am worried about if something happens to them where this leaves me for my business, which I've built.

My father's a hands-off partner. And my main concern is, I have a good relationship with my siblings, but, you know, when stuff happens, stuff happens. So in this case, it's a substantial business, but also we own the real estate. So I'm trying to figure out, is it something that I should try to pursue buying them out? I don't know if I could buy them out using funds from the business. And again, I don't know. How much is he invested in four?

So we are, so technically it's, my mother's 25%, my father's 25%, I'm 25%, and my wife is 25%. So let's just say my parents are 50. What are they in for, though? Oh, money-wise, $3.5 million is total what their share would be worth. And your concern is that they pass away suddenly and then your siblings come wanting their piece of that $3.5 million. Yes. I've talked to my father about it. But he says that we have, I guess, laid it out equally.

But my problem is that I don't know about the other assets if it's going to come into the point. Let's just say that if I want to take this business, am I going to have to buy out my siblings? No, but it's your dad saying, no, no, no, I've got 3.5 for one sibling and 3.5 for the other. Is that what he was saying? No, no, no. What he has, like I'd say, to buy him out of this business is 3.5. $3.5 million, like what I'd have to pay to get him and my mom, like, out. That's what I would value it at. Of course, we haven't had a valuation the past two years, but...

Yeah, what is it a business worth? So the business itself is probably worth about a million and a half. The real estate, the real estate is, was worth two. It's probably worth more like three, maybe three and a half now. So it could be more than three and a half total. And what is it cash flow? So the only people that take... you know, of these partners that take salaries is my wife and I, and we each take about $100,000, and then we do disbursements at the end of the year. But so cash flow after paying our salaries is about $500.

Okay. And you're saying that $3.5 million, they would agree that's fair amongst all parties, as far as a buy. I'm not saying that. I think that if I approach them, possibly. I think if you're making a net after expenses of $500,000 a year, your valuation's pretty high. Yes, I think what it is, is it's a reoccurring income, and I don't want to get in too much details, but it is a kind of like a subscription-based, if you will. So it's kind of like you have people locked in, and then you have long-term customers.

But let's just say, yeah, go ahead. But I mean, even at, I mean, you're talking about 7X your net cash flow, right? Oh, the three, again, the three and a half is, is including real estate. Okay. Got it. So let's just pretend it's three and a half. Let's just walk this through an example. And I'll tell you what I would do, what Dave Ramsey would do.

We're not doing debt. And you obviously don't have the money up front to pay for this, correct? No, no. And I, again, not to say that he would want it all up front, but I don't want to put our willing to go, all right, we'll do 350K for 10 years, is what you're going to pay us from this business? I think so. I don't know they are getting older, so I'm not trying to be morbid, but I would say that 10 years may be a stretch, truthfully, unfortunately. Well, I think you just start playing with the numbers here and go, okay, here's what we could comfortably do based on the actual revenue of the business to go, all right, we can do 400,000 over 7,000.

years. I would prefer it to be a percentage of your profit. I agree. I agree. And my hope would be that y'all do that. And every year, y'all can reconcile. And so maybe you get down to where, let's say they last six years. And then at the end, I just would have to pay the difference to siblings. You would pay it to a trust that would be dispersed to the siblings. That's right. At the agreed upon rate. And I would involve a lot of professionals at this point. I would not do handshake agreements. I would have a business valuation expert, a CPA, and a state attorney, get all of this in writing so that everyone's on the same page, siblings included. And that's my thing. I've been trying to work on this for past three or four years,

and again, my father's like, don't worry about it. He's a bare man. I'm not thinking anything's going to happen, shady like that. But again, I'm just worried about the sibling. It's a relational drama outside of this, sir. Have you talked to your siblings to tell him that you're working on it? So one brother, oldest brother, doesn't have any care. He's like, I don't care about it. He's like, I'll sign over whatever. So anything that if I did have to pay him, he wouldn't want a payment. He's a, he's done pretty well in life. I guess this doesn't, is it needed for him? I would make sure you get that in writing. Yes. Seven years from now. His wife did you really want that. Yeah. Yeah. No, I agree. I agree. That's what I, I don't see that being a problem. The other two,

again, they're very nice people, but, you know, when stuff happens and they might say, oh, well, this is worth, you know, three and a half or whatever, and, you know, our portion's worth this. And that's what I'm worried about. They have shown no interest in the business. They don't support. They never supported the idea or supported real estate in general. Sure. A perfect world as you sit down with your dad and say, I'd like to make you a three and a half million dollar offer. Again, after a real evaluation, maybe two, that you take. the average of a real evaluation that you offer that to him and he says no chance i'll sell this to you for a million dollars yeah well i love that or for whatever and he may say great cool but he may say

i'm not taking that much money we're going to sign an agreement here and then it's going to be based off net profit over the next 10 years that way there's no debt if the business goes in the hole then you don't owe any money that year yeah but but if you if you sign a note to a 400 000 a year that you're locked into a payment. Oh, yeah. No, and I don't like payments. The only thing that we owe is a small mortgage on our home. So, again, we've been following Dave. And that's my main concern, because I know that I could approach an SBA loan for something like this.

I just don't want to. No, don't do that. When you introduce risk, it's going to add pressure and stress to everything. And so the one thing I don't do is do not touch debt to go into this plan. And I like the idea of a percentage of profits over time. and so I hope that you guys can come to an agreement on what's fair and equitable for all parties and you avoid the drama of the siblings being involved. Make it very clear what they would get when mom and dad pass. Here's how this is going to go down. And I hate to be the bearer of bad

news, but I'm going to be. If you have four siblings and one of those siblings had a really tight relationship with mom and dad, so much so that they invested a ton of money together. They they were silent partners in a business together. I promise you there is already a little bit of golden child syndrome. Oh, yeah, sure. Chip always gets fill in the blink. And so make no mistake, you are clearly a man of character trying to set this thing up so that you preserve your relationships over time.

I would expect mathematically that at least one of your siblings, if not two, bundle up and try to start a fight after your parents pass. It wasn't fair. They didn't talk to us. He got more than whatever the thing will be. hope that's not the case. But we're talking millions, it almost always is. Yeah. And so just be ready for that. I've rarely seen one of these just go perfectly smooth and everyone's happy and nobody's upset and everyone thought it was fair. That's right. Yeah. And so the best thing you can do

is get ahead of it. Talk about it so much. They're sick of you talking about it to where it's like, hey, I'm going to send you that email once a year about here's the agreement. Here's the estate plan. And even Dave Ramsey does this with his own family. Every year. They come to Jesus. If Dave dies meeting, here's what's going to. happen with the estate and so there's no questions that's right there will not be any arguments to be had because there's nothing to argue about yeah just just it's easy to say i don't care about that i don't need that money and then you find out wait i was going to get a million dollars yeah now that conversation changes that puts this hour of the ramesy show in the books remember there's

ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to walk daily with the prince of peace christ jesus