The Ramsey Show - App - Follow the Formula: Hard Work + Focus (Hour 2)

Episode Date: May 3, 2019

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. You jump in, we'll talk about your life and your money. It's a free call at 888-825-5225 that's 888-825-5225 jonathan is calling from california hey jonathan welcome to the dave ramsey show hello how you doing today better than i deserve what's up a quick question uh we're on

baby step four five and six I guess you can say. Good. Well, four and five. We haven't started. We don't have a home yet. Okay. But I just received a vested RSUs, restricted stock units. Right.

That I have already vested. Okay. We want to use that money for a down payment for a home, but we're not quite there yet for an actual down payment. We're about $30,000 to $40,000 away in California. So we want to know what we should do with that vested money while we get the rest of the money. Well, it sounds like you're going to have it fairly quickly. How long will it take you to build up your down payment, including these RSUs? We're hoping a year okay all right when you uh want to park money somewhere for a year if you're going to use something like mutual funds and you know parking it in the stock market

you stand a really good chance of actually losing money, not making money. We don't know what a year will do. Here's the stats for you. About 96% of the five-year periods in the stock market's history, if you leave it alone five years, make money. About 67% of the three-year periods make money. When you back it down to one year, you're riding that roller coaster. You haven't got time to recover from a dip. And so it could go up, it could go down,

but it's pretty much a roll of the dice at that point. I don't like gambling like that. I don't like that much risk. And so if I had a one-year window and I'm saving up for my house down payment and I was in your shoes, I would not have it in the stock market with a one-year window i would instead choose to make almost no money on my money but it'd be safe and that just means a simple cd or something like that where you're making about

one percent which sucks you're not making anything right but you're not going to lose anything either and the other way you got a good chance of losing some money and it's just these these dollars are too precious when we're talking about using them to buy your first house it's not it's not anything i want to play games with and to that end to that end i would go ahead and cash them out they're no longer restricted stock units once you're vested they're just stock units now so it's just shares of stock and i wouldn't ride that stock for a year either i would go ahead and cash it out now and just set it over there in the savings account not making any money boring as crud but boring is good when it comes to

money perfect thank you for your help hey thanks, thanks for calling in. Appreciate you joining us. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Thank you for joining us. Christy's with us in San Francisco. Hi, Christy. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. I'm so excited to be on. Well, we're honored to have you.

How can we help? Well, in 2004, I bought a home with my husband. And we bought at the peak of the market in California. And we separated. We had a child. We separated. And when we separated, a family member took over the mortgage for me just to get through the crisis of the divorce and all of that. Wow.

So, yeah, it was just amazing that they had the means to do that and that they were willing to do that. So I'm now a single mom with a little girl, and I have this house, and it's been just a safety net for us. It's been great to have it. And the family member has offered to pay off the first and second. And so I have a couple things going on. I don't really know what that means in terms of what I should expect in terms of this house. They've been so gracious and I've paid them, you know, rent, so to speak,

towards that payment. But there's no equity in the house. We were underwater for a number of years, and it's just starting to creep back up. Okay, so what is the home, what's owed against the home? About $280,000. Okay. If you did not own this home and you had $280,000 piled in the middle of your kitchen table, would you go buy this home or a different home? A different home, one I could afford on my own.

Okay. Well, you can afford this one if it's paid for. Yeah, right. That's what I'm saying. There's $280,000 in the middle of your table. You're going to pay cash for a house. Are you going to buy this one or a different house? Well, I haven't talked to them about if that would even be an option.

I think at this point. Well, if they're going to pay off a mortgage for $280,000, there's no difference in that and them buying a $280,000 house somewhere and giving it to you. It's the same exact dollars. Right. The only question is where, I don't want you to stay in this house by default just because you're there.

Now, if this is a good house and it serves your needs and it's going up in value again and you're in the San Francisco market, which is an incredibly crazy real estate market, and you can participate in all of that, and you want to just stay there, there's nothing wrong with that. I don't mind that at all. And you have this huge blessing of somebody paying this off for you, boom. Let them do it, and you own a house there that's paid for. But if you're going to have a paid-for $280,000 house somewhere,

you need to think about where that is, not just automatically it be this one. That would be my first piece of advice. Okay. Do you have a career? I do. What's your household income? $70,000. Good.

Okay. And one child? One child. Okay. Good. And with a paid-for house and making $70,000. Good. Okay. And one child? One child. Okay. Good. And with a paid-for house and making $70,000 a year, I don't know what your other debts are, but you should be able to make it. Yeah. And so that's my question is I have $45,000 debt, and half of that is student loans. And, you know, people, friends, family have been talking to me about debt consolidation and bankruptcy.

And, you know, I went and spoke to someone yesterday at a bank, and she wrote your name down, and she said, I would just start listening to Dave Ramsey. So yesterday I started listening to your podcast, and I ordered the book, you know, and so I really feel like this is the way I want to go. Well, student loans are not bankruptable, so whoever's telling you that's giving you bad advice. So your student loans are there. The good news is if you don't have a house payment and you make $70,000

and you get yourself on a written budget, I think you can pay off these debts. Okay. My other question is that my ex-husband and I are still on the title. And he doesn't want any part of the house. Well, when it's paid off, he can give you a quit

claim deed. Simultaneous with you paying it off. Which would be him just signing it off. Yeah, he would sign off his ownership. I would not... I would make him just signing it off. Yeah, he would sign off his ownership. I would make him do that as a part of it getting paid off, because I don't want your relative giving him half of a $280,000 house. So he needs to sign what's called a quit-claim deed, give up his ownership simultaneously with the mortgage being paid off,

which he'll love because he's no longer on the mortgage. Let me tell you a story about two families that are very much alike in a lot of ways. Both families have two working parents and a couple of young kids. Each has debt and has struggled to make ends meet. But they're starting to make headway with their budgets and smarter decisions with money. They have dreams and plans, and the only real difference is that one family has the right amount of term life insurance, and the other doesn't. Big difference.

If one of the parents die, and that does happen, their well-being would be destroyed. Paying for the mortgage, utilities, food, and other does happen, their well-being would be destroyed. Paying for the mortgage, utilities, food, and other bills would be impossible, let alone saving for education or retirement. That's why every day I talk relentlessly about getting term life insurance. Just go to ZanderInsurance.com or call 800-356-4282 and see how inexpensive it really is. Be the family that takes those deliberate steps to be different and responsible. It really does make you the hero of your story, and it puts you on course for better things ahead. Wayne is on Twitter, at Dave Ramsey. What would happen to the economy if everyone suddenly started your plan. Well, the first thing, if they suddenly, the entire population, you could snap your fingers, stopped borrowing money, it would crash our economy.

Because our economy has so much banking and borrowing running through its veins. However, that's a hypothetical philosophical question that couldn't actually occur. What could actually occur and should actually occur is gradually more and more people become wise and decide to stop borrowing money. And so over a period of time, we wouldn't have as many banks, and they wouldn't be nearly as profitable, the ones that stayed open, because there'd be less and less people borrowing money. You and I know that there's never a case where the 100% of the people would stop borrowing money. That's impossible. Even prohibition, 100% of the people didn't quit drinking.

You know, I mean, it's just impossible to get 100% of people doing anything. But we're talking about more reality than theory here. So reality is that if we could move more and more people away from debt, what would happen? Well, more and more people would prosper as individuals, as families, because if you don't have debt, you have more money to give, more money to invest. So charities and ministries, nonprofits, would be better funded by 10 or 100x as people move away from debt, because giving and generosity increases when people are debt-free. Savings and investing would increase as people are debt-free,

which means wealth would increase among individuals. And so you could slow down some of the disparity between the richest and the poorest, this thing that everybody's worried about wealth inequality and all the lefties are all freaking out about wealth inequality, wealth inequality, wealth inequality. I would start to go away because one of the things that magnifies that exponentially is the haves are building wealth and the have-nots are building debt. And so it's making the poor poorer and the rich richer. Because the rich aren't in debt and they're becoming wealthier and wealthier.

In a lot of cases, that's how they became wealthy. The Millionaire Theme Hour confirms that. And so what would happen oh the other thing that would happen is debt has destabilized the economy made it more volatile because everyone's living on the edge living on the bubble every time there's a little wave that comes through something that scares people just a little bit it crashes entire segments of the culture. But if a wave comes through and you got a really nice boat, you just kind of smile and ride the wave,

meaning that you don't have any debt and you have a big emergency fund and the economy slowed down a little bit, it doesn't cause you to slow down. Oh, and by the way, business would prosper and there would be more jobs what well let's think about it if you if you just think about your life and your home if you are 100 debt free mortgage and everything and you had an emergency fund and you were making good money, do you spend more money? Yes, you do. What do you spend it on?

Clothes, nicer clothes, vacations. You can go out to eat. You save more and you give more because you have more, but you also spend more because you have more. I spend more now than I ever have at any time in my life, but I have more than I have at any time in my life. I mean, let's pretend you had $5 million net worth, and you had zero debt, and you had $100,000 a year income.

You would be spending more. And so where do you think you're spending that? You're spending at the local restaurant. So if more people did that, more people spent at the local restaurant, what would happen at the local restaurant? Well, it would prosper. What would happen at the local hardware store? It would prosper.

So the overall economy would prosper. Yay, even explode, because spending would increase. But when spending increased based only on consumer confidence that causes the consumer to falsely be confident and therefore go and borrow money, that further destabilizes the economy, even though it gives a short-term spike to the economy. Because when the consumer gets all cocky and is willing to go put money on credit card debt and willing to go buy a car they can't afford and put it on payments and willing to go buy furniture they can't afford and put it on payments because they feel so good about everything that drives the economy up but it's all borrowed

money and what goes up must come down when it's borrowed but if it goes up and it's all borrowed money, and what goes up must come down when it's borrowed. But if it goes up and you're spending money that you actually have, and a whole bunch of people did that simultaneously over a 10-year period of time, the economy would boom. All of that to say that this debt economy at the federal level with the federal government borrowing like they're drunk, I mean like they're stoned and you borrow them like you're drunk like you're stoned on cars and student loans and furniture and vacations and all this you drive the economy when you're doing that but you're falsely driving

it because it's it's because it's a shell game. It's a house of cards, and it's going to come down. What goes up must come down when it has to do with debt. But if all of that spending was done with real money, meaning not borrowed money, you would see the economy increase. You would see prosperity increase. You'd see individual wealth increasing. You would see charitable giving increasing.

This is what would happen if people moved towards God's ways of handling money. Which, by the way, this is not my plan. This is God's and Grandma's ways of handling money. Live on less than you make. Live on a plan. Don't do get rich quick. Avoid debt. Have money saved to buy things.

Have money saved for emergencies. Have money saved to retire on. Have money saved to send your kid to college. Get out of debt. This is all in the Bible. It's all in your grandma's common sense. So it's not my plan. It's God's and grandma's ways of handling money.

It's common sense and biblical finance, and it works. So if we could gradually get people to take steps that way, if you could just get your whole church to do it, it changes your whole church, which, by the way, whole churches are doing it, where they take 80% or more of their church through Financial Peace University. If you can just get a whole town to do it, if you could get a segment of the population to do it,

a certain people group, a minority, a region, you would see that group prosper. That's the answer to your question, Wayne. What would happen to the economy if everyone suddenly started doing your plan? It's not my plan. It's God's and Grandma's ways of handling money, and they can't do it suddenly, everybody at once, because nobody at once does anything suddenly, not 300 million people. But gradually, over the period of a decade, what would happen would be increased prosperity,

the same thing that happens to individual households when they get on a written plan called a budget so that they get out of debt, so that they can save and invest, so that they can be outrageously generous and have a higher quality life and become wealthy. That is the plan. And I don't know why it's not appealing to everyone. I don't understand. Why wouldn't you do that? You don't want to win? Really. Why wouldn't you do that? You don't want to win?

Really, why wouldn't you do that? Because there's children out there in adult bodies. Adults devise a plan and follow it. Children do what feels good. One definition of maturity is learning to delay pleasure. It would require

that the culture become more emotionally and spiritually mature. And we're going the other direction, actually. So I've still got work to do. Never fear. We're here. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions, Ashley Jelincis. Hey, Ashley, how are you?

Hey, Dave, I'm good. How are you? Better than I deserve. Welcome. Where are you from? Where do you live? Atlanta, Georgia. All right. Welcome to Nashville. Thank you. And all the way up here to do your debt-free scream. Absolutely.

Cool. How much you paid off? I paid off $90,000. Whoa. How long did that take? A little over 12 months. Ooh, you're getting it. And your range of income during that time?

So it started out around $65,000, and last year it ended up around $135,000. You doubled your income in one year? I did. What did you do? I had four part-time jobs during that time oh it's called work yes hard work imagine that very cool what was the best part-time job money wise what paid you the best um so i try i am a nurse so i traveled around teaching NCLEX review classes which are the nursing board so i was able to travel around the country to different schools and teach nursing students

how to pass boards on the first try. Wow. Like a weekend gig. Yeah. It was like a four-day class. I would just, you know. And you just worked it around your regular nursing schedule. I did.

Yeah. I actually went part-time at my, what was my full-time job so that I could work this since it paid a little bit more than my full-time job. And then got another teaching gig that also paid a little bit more than my full-time job. So just did a lot of things part-time and made a lot of overtime. So I'm guessing this was the $90,000 was student loan debt. Part of it. For being a nurse.

Yes. All right. And what was the rest of it? Yeah, so I had about $50,000 with student loans, and then I paid off a $30,000 car, and I had a very, very small credit card in there, too. Nice car. Yes. Very cool.

Very cool. What kind of car? Acura MDX. Oh, yeah. And part of the $90,000, I will say, I had purchased a vehicle, a Nissan Altima, and then ended up selling it. Paid about a $4,000 stupid tax on that one, but, you know, live and learn. Okay, so that got rid of some of the $90,000. So that got rid of some of the $90,000. How much of the $90,000 stupid tax on that one, but, you know, live and learn. Okay, so that got rid of some of the 90.

So that got rid of some of the 90. How much of the 90 did that get rid of? That got rid of $12,000, so I still cash flowed a little over $78,000. In one year? In one year. Working your tail end off. Yes. You've been doing some 80-hour weeks.

Oh, yeah, 60 to 90-hour weeks. Being told I was crazy and insane almost every single day of my life. You are. You are. You're weird. Yep. But you're debt-free. That's right.

And all those people calling you names are still swimming in their student loan debt. And they're listening to me now. They still have Sally Mae in the spare bedroom. You kicked her out. That's right. Good for you. So what happened 12 months ago? Because you got on fire, kiddo.

I did. So I really wanted to buy a house, and I started looking at houses and what mortgages were going to be and was looking at that. I was already paying a mortgage payment with my student loan and my car payment, and I just couldn't add another payment onto that. So my original goal was to pay off my car, which I had owed 23,000 on it at that point by the end of the year. And it was kind of hesitant that I thought that I could even do that.

Um, started making some payments and just got angry. I said, I'm done with this. I'm ready to get rid of everything. So I went from wanting to pay off my $23,000 car to wanting to pay off $78,000. And so my goal was to pay it off by the end of the year. So I wanted that house. That was my why. Just got angry making those payments and started working working working until i got

there and how did you get connected to us um so i actually several years ago back in college a family friend of mine had introduced me to you and i went through financial peace university and i listened to the principles but i never put them into action oh so you knew what to do i knew what to do just once you got mad it was game on mean, I, when I, you didn't have a why before. No, I didn't have my why. So it was just kind of, I'm going to work a little bit extra and I'll put a little bit towards it. But then, you know, friends would go on vacation and they're like, Ashley, come with us. I'm like, yeah, well, I've worked really hard for this. So yeah, I'm going to go on vacation and I spent my money and didn't pay off my debt like I originally planned. But then once I got my Y, I was on fire.

Nothing was stopping me then. How old are you? I'm 30. I just turned 30 years old. So you officially are a millennial. Yes. And a millennial just paid off $90,000 worth of debt in 12 months. For those of you wondering, I keep telling you all, there's awesome millennials everywhere.

I run into them. You're one of them. Well done. Thank you. And then there's the group that says it can't be done, but it can be done it sure can you found the formula it's hard work focus right absolutely i mean you just kicked it so are you going to slow down a little now um i've slowed down a little um i'm in baby step 3b so now i'm working towards oh yeah you got to get the house down payment so i've slowed down just a little bit but um i'm still working pretty hard well and the good news

is with your career field nursing you can just choose to turn up the hours almost any time you want. Yes. And all kinds of different ways. You found a really unique way to do it. So when you were traveling, doing the classes, did you hit some like exotic places or just backwoods places? A little bit of both. It was mostly backwoods places, but I got to go to fun places like California and Tampa. So it was fun. Even the backwoods places, you know, they were fun places like california and tampa um so it was fun even

the backwoods places you know they were always fun things to do and kind of explore so it was you make fun people wherever you go right yeah okay very cool and you're working anyway exactly good for you well done so bottom line the secret to getting out of debt you found is what um i think just a combination of finding your why you you know, getting fired up and, you know, having a reason to do what you're doing. And then really just sticking to a budget. That was the biggest thing. Like, you know, if you plan to, you know,

if you fail to plan, you are planning to fail. So it's like, if you've got a plan in place, then, you know, follow that plan and you're going to get there. Game on. Well done. Very, very well done. What was the hardest part

for you? Oh gosh, my friends and, you know, going on all these vacations and we're in our thirties, they're graduating from school, they're buying houses, starting families. And, you know, Rachel talks about all the time, you know, comparing your life to other people and seeing those Instagram pictures of them, you know, on the beach in the Bahamas or whatever, and not being able to do that, having to say no to that. But standing here today was worth all of that sacrifice. You'll get your house, and then you can do whatever you want to do, right? That's right.

So did you have anybody cheering you on? Oh, I had lots of people cheering me on. I've got family right here, friends. I think some of them might have been a little skeptical at first when I told them what I was doing. And even my dad, he's always been one to tell me, you know, work hard, especially when you're young. You know, do it while you can. And I think he even towards the end told me that he was shocked that I was able to pay off as much as I did. And as little time as I did, he, I don't think, thought that I could do it.

But I did it. He's definitely proud now. Yeah. So I definitely had a lot of cheerleaders. But I think people were a little skeptical that I could actually do it. He's definitely proud now. Yeah. So I definitely had a lot of cheerleaders, but I think people were a little skeptical that I could actually do it. Yeah. You did great. We're proud of you.

Thank you. Well done. Very well done. All right, hero. We got a copy of Chris Hogan's book for you, Retire Inspired, and that's the number one bestseller. That is the next chapter in your story, and that's to become a millionaire. Yes.

And outrageously generous along the way. Absolutely. And no one listening thinks you're going to do anything except exactly that. You are a go-getter, kiddo. Yes. I love it. It's an honor to speak to you. You too.

Well done. Ashley from Atlanta, $90,000 paid off in 12 months. It's called hard work. Used to make $65,000. Now she makes $135,000 working four different jobs. But she's debt-free. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream.

Three, two, one. I'm debt-free! Love it! Love it, love it, love it! Well done. Very, very well done. Man, that's as good as it gets. Last hour, a 30-year-old single lady paying off debt.

This year, this hour, a 30-year-old single lady paying off debt. Is this 30-year-old single lady day? That's awesome. And I'm proud of them, man. That's amazing. They're killing it. You guys are killing it. I got to tell you, the more I interact here at our firm, I mean, we've got several hundred millennials that work here,

and then I interact with people like these ladies in the last two hours, these millennials, they are amazing. This group, when you give them a why, this generation, you give them a why, when they get their own why, they're not going to be dictated to, but when they buy in and they believe there's a cause worth fighting for a cause worth sacrificing for there is no stopping them it might be one of the most intense generations we've ever dealt with and when they buy into something that's completely stupid they're just as intense in their stupidityism and anarchy and wealth inequality

and some of the stupid stuff that some of them have waded off into. And it's just ridiculous. But the ones that buy into smart things and wisdom things and causes that do matter and causes that are valid, man, there is no stopping them.

I love them. I love these millennials. Man, they're amazing. Well done, you guys. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. thanks for joining us america we're glad you are here daniel is in denver hi daniel how are you good how you doing better than i deserve what's All right, perfect. So I've been going through your step program, and I'm going to have my house paid off in about a year and a half. Wow, look at you.

Awesome, thanks. So the thing I'm running into is that I work in a field where I've got a lot of educated people making dumb financial decisions. That happens all the time. Yeah, and when you're weird, people treat you like you're weird, and that's fine. What's hard for me is to sit back and kind of watch the people that, you know, my friends and coworkers in that regard, make the mistakes that I know are just those dumb mistakes.

So what advice do you offer for someone like me who really knows kind of what people should be doing and so I can encourage them in a way to kind of do things better without ruining the friendship? Yeah. About the best entry point is just to tell your story because if you start talking about their stuff stuff it's very difficult for it to not be condemning and that includes me i tell my story all the time um and um then the

second rule is is that my the reason for telling my story is are you telling your story you say you know i used to do these dumb things i did dumb stuff like this and this and never pointed them. But you could mention that you used to do something dumb like they're doing, right? I used to do stupid stuff like this. I did stupid stuff like that. I had leased a car. I used to use my credit cards, and I thought I was winning with that. I thought I was so dumb, I thought airline miles were making me rich.

You know, or whatever it is. Just talk about stuff you did that was dumb. You've quit doing it. And man, when I quit doing that, I not only got a sense of control, I actually, my finances are light years better in just a short period of time. And they may just kind of nod and go, okay. And if they do, you got no entry because if you turn from there and start saying you but you're stupid it's never gonna work okay um it doesn't work so on a personal level is what you're talking about now i can get

away with crap here on the radio because everybody understands its entertainment value and and i'm just you called in you asked for it you know so i i'm gonna be nice to you here and walk you through this but then i'm gonna call you out here on the radio if you call in doing stupid stuff you you've listened you know that but you can't i wouldn't act that way in person with an individual even if i didn't know them um but if they come up to me and they say well you know i do such and such i always just go okay i mean i got a friend of mine he drove up to the house the other day in a brand new car he just leased and of course he's my friend he knows i think that's just stupid you know but so what am i gonna do go well you're an idiot you know which is what i was thinking actually but i didn't do that i just kind of

did the old bobblehead thing and let the head nod up and down, and I just went, hey, man, happy for you. I'm glad you got you a nice car. Because he knows, he knows, he knows, but, I mean, he didn't come up there for me to – he came up to show me his car. He didn't come up to ask my financial advice. He knew what my financial advice was. So I just, you know, congratulated him on the car.

It was a nice car, actually. I'm glad he got him a good car, But, you know, he just got screwed. So, you know, that's all you can do is just say, this is what's happened to me. I used to do this dumb thing. I don't do this dumb thing or that dumb thing anymore. And now here's where I am. And the best case scenario is they look at you and they say, wow, I wish I could do that. Or how did you do that once they once they once they

interact with you on that then they're asking for your help then you can very gently and kindly go hey i can show you how if you want me to walk with you i would be honored to show you some of the things i'm doing and i think it would i think it'd work for you too but you've got to get them to ask about it otherwise you're just thumping people and it's hard to watch people you love if people in your family do stupid stuff and everybody's got stupid people in their family you know and you just have to watch them and you can't you can't make people do stuff you know you just can't and all you can do is put in front of them this situation and um then they've got to decide if they're willing to take the actions

to change that mike's with us in portland oregon hey mike how are you better than i deserve dave yourself just the same sir sir. How can I help? My wife has a problem where she overspends every month. I talk to her. She says she's trying. She's sorry. I forgive her. We say try again next month. And again, she overspends.

What is she overspending on? I don't. Buying stuff for the kids, stuff that they don't really need, buying stuff for her. Like what? New clothes, makeup, stuff for the bathroom, shelves and whatnot. I mean, it's stuff that we need but we don't need right now, and we don't have the money for right now. So what is your household income? Together we make about $5,500 a month.

What do you do for a living? I'm an electronics technician at a semiconductor facility. Okay. All right. And how long have you guys been married? Almost two years. Okay. There's a couple things going on.

One is she's overspending. Two is you're an unbelievable tightwad. Isn't that right? Okay. Isn't that right? No, I've been very forgiving of her but no no no i didn't ask you to forgive her i i i ask you she doesn't need forgiving she bought food for her kids you're you're you're you're just like me i mean my wife is is is a tightwad like that i've become a tightwad and so I admire you for that, Mike. But you are a very detailed person who likes the rules and follows the rules, and she's not.

You're the nerd. She's the free spirit at your house. And I'm the free spirit at my house. I mean, my wife is the free spirit at my house. I'm the nerd. I'm the control guy. I can't stand it when people break the rules you know what i'm talking about yep yeah and so what we've got to do is you need to lighten up

a couple of these categories and give her a little bit more wiggle room and in return get a new promise from her that she's going to stand that. I think you've got these budget categories too tight. And I don't know what they are. You notice I hadn't even asked you. But I've been doing this a long time, and I can smell a super nerd. And I'm one. So you and me, we're cut out of the same cloth, brother. It's good news because you're good at details, and you're good at keeping people in the lanes.

But sometimes people like you and me are hard to live with so um i i just want you to loosen up a little bit on the categories and i want her vote in the budget committee meeting when y'all sit down to do the budget i want her to look at the numbers and i want her vote to count more than it has been counting. It's pretty much like you're... I do that. I think she... Go ahead. She overspends the month. We make $55,000, but we spend $57,000. I got that part. Okay.

I'm not saying... I think there's some other stuff that you guys probably can move around, and I want the budget to be a zero-based budget and i want the two of you working on it together i want her vote to count and then when the here's what happens and this will help because the way your mind works the way my mind works is when we do that budget it's over that's it you just do that shut up do that and the way her mind works is that's a general guideline and that doesn't work it doesn't work

the budget falls apart when she does that she screws up the budget so what she's got to grasp at the time you all finish your budget committee meeting the kids are in bed you're sitting there looking at the details of the budget you've got to say okay baby girl the reason i get so upset is the way my mind works is this is a contract and so we're going to pinky swear and spit shake right now and we're going to sign our name in blood at the bottom of this and this is a contract do not i promise you i will not spend anything that is not on this budget and if you spend anything that is not on this budget that's like you lying to me we can't do that anymore unless we sit down and talk about it because my head's going to explode.

I can't deal with it. And so that's what's going on. But then as a part of that, you've got to loosen up a couple of these categories and let her have some room to run this household because you are a super nerd, no doubt about it, dude. And it's a good thing. I'm not making fun of you. I'm one of you. But you've got to understand how that other person is ticking in order to get

agreement in this household. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. Did you know you can now listen to The Dave Ramsey Show on Pandora and Spotify? For all the ways to watch and listen, check out our showcase at daveramsey.com slash show.