The Ramsey Show - App - Give, and Save, but Don’t Forget to SPEND (Hour 2)

Episode Date: July 15, 2024

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, host of The Rachel Cruz Show, co-host of Smart Money Happy Hour, both on Ramsey Networks, and my daughter is my co-host today. Skyler is in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hi, Skyler. How are you?

Hi, Dave. It's a blessing to see North Carolina. Hi, Skyler. How are you? Hi, Dave. Peace and blessings to you both. You too. What's up? Yeah, I'm calling because my wife and I, we've been really struggling. We're trying to make ends meet. We have debt that we're trying to overcome. We know what we need to do. But the main thing to focus on right now is that a couple weeks ago, my wife got a bill from Discover that we haven't paid. It's about $7,000 from our move here to Charlotte a year and a half ago. But two weeks after moving, I lost my job.

So it's kind of been a struggle ever since then trying to catch up on our bills, try to even tackle any kind of debt we both have and then we're really trying to figure out what we need to do about the seven thousand dollar bill because they want to take her to court now so i'm just trying to find out how to address that and then figure out uh what steps we kind of need to take to be able to even try to think about tackling debt when we're just struggling with it. Yeah. How long have you guys been married? We've been married nine years.

Okay. This is probably the scariest y'all have been. It's kind of high stress and terrifying, isn't it, dude? Yeah, especially when we've got three kids and my mother-in-law that we're trying to provide for as well so your mother-in-law lives with you yes okay wow i'm sorry man that's hard um it's the kind of stuff that screws up a marriage so be careful we can we can definitely walk with you we'll have some ideas over the next few minutes. But you guys are probably going to have to get a lot more radical than you've been getting. I hope you're ready for that because we're about to set you on fire.

Okay. Here we go. You ready? Yes. Okay. Not working for a year inside of Charlotte, North Carolina is not okay. There's plenty of crap to do there. You need to get your button gear and get six jobs right now ready set go delivering pizza delivering door dash

cutting grass cleaning out septic tanks walking dogs cleaning up poop i don't care what you're doing you need to get in gear skylar have you been working yeah just to clarify i eventually did because right after i lost my job i started driving for UPS with my own car and doing DoorDash. And I do have employment. It's just that the money that I bring in is enough to pay the bills. What are you bringing in now? Take-home is probably about $63,000 after taxes. Is that just UPS, or what is that?

No, that's working as a recruiter. Oh, okay. So you've got a different job now. Yes. And are you working the other side job still? Yeah, just doing DoorDash. What's that bringing in? Not very much.

Not doing it much? Yeah, just trying to find doing it when I have the time to. Yeah, you've got time. All right. You're broke. What's your wife do? She had her own herbal apothecary business, but she had to dissolve that because after moving, she wasn't making much money and she's applying for jobs now, trying to find something

to try to help supplement. Yeah. How old are your kids uh so we have a five-year-old 15-year-old and our other son is recently turned 21 okay he's still at home too uh yes what's he do for a living um right now he's working uh with someone doing like pressure washing and window cleaning. He's making about $16 an hour doing that. 40 hours at least? Right now. No, he needs to be working.

He's 21 years old. How old is your mother-in-law? She's in her 60s. So am I. What does she do for a living? She's retired. Why? She's broke yeah she's been applying this to jobs as well okay here's what i'm pointing out to you dude

your problem when you called in and and and i'm i'm gonna mess with you because i love you but your problem when you called in is you can't pay your bills and you know why you can't pay your bills there's not enough money coming into the house and you know why there's not enough money coming in the house all these grown adults aren't working right that's why work is where money comes from everybody needs a job ready set go we're broke mama done got sued by discover we about to get in gear people i am sick and tired of living like this 21 year old get your butt out of bed and don't talk to me about going to happy hour at three o'clock on friday be happy you working no he's not he's not saying he i'm just saying i've been 21 all right get after everybody line up and get after it because that's what's going on you're working your tail end off

at less than you used to make but you can't find time even then to do door dives yeah you can find time throw a brick through your television your wife just got is threatened to get sued this is where you're this this is when you get this kind of thing going that's going to help so the first step to solving your problems even if she made Even if she made $2,000, $3,000 a month. You know what I mean? Your wife. Yeah, and your mother-in-law, too. And your son.

Hello. Everybody that lives there. You don't make enough to feed all these humans that are sitting on their butt. They all got to work. That's what's going on. I'm sorry, man. I would love it if everybody could lounge around. But we don't have this as an option.

And your mother-in-law, whatever she's got coming in, Social Security or whatever else, it goes in the pool if she's living there. It goes right there on the kitchen table with everybody else throws their money in the middle of the table. We're going to pay our bills because I'm feeding you and housing you. So we're going to use your money to pay our bills. That's how this works. Everybody bones up here.

Now, once you're doing that, anything we can do to get your income up, then let's stop and get organized. So Discover hadn't been paid in a year, right? Who else hadn't been paid? That was the main one because we used that cart. That's the cart that we used to move. Okay, how much debt do you have total, not counting the house? We rent, so me and my wife combined uh we have about 70,000

but that doesn't include uh her student loans okay what's the 70,000 uh personal loans credit cards um my included my student loans about 17,000 student loans and that as well car uh yes one how much um it's about uh seven thousand seven eight thousand good okay i'm glad you didn't tell me 50 grand okay no no good well that way you get to keep the car and so um all right so you've got $7,000 in car, $17,000 in student loans, $24,000, but $70,000. So there's another $40,000 in credit cards and personal loans. Yes. Plus your wife's student loans is how much? It's over six figures, I'm sure.

Yeah, and what's her degree in? Is she a lawyer or a doctor? No, psychology. Psychology. And counseling. Okay. Oh, is she licensed? No, she's trying to get licensed.

She's trying to get licensed as well. So she's actually in... She got her master's? Yeah, she has her master's, and she has an interview to get into the program to get licensed. Okay, good. Meanwhile, we make money.'s, and she has an interview to get into the program to get licensed. Okay, good. Meanwhile, we make money. Meanwhile, we make money. So, hey, we're going to put you guys into Financial Peace University

and teach you how to work your budget and work together, but I'm going to work everybody in that house. I'm going to work you hard, man, because it's what I did. It's how I got out. It's where money comes from. Go get you some, and then get these bills caught up. I'll show you how. I'll pay for it. Hold on. I'm going to. Go get you some. And then get these bills caught up. I'll show you how. I'll pay for it.

Hold on. I'm going to give it to you free. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Among the Ramsey personalities, Ken Coleman and Rachel Cruz are by far the most way into politics. Behind the scenes, we hear some great discussions with these two. Ken came busting in just a moment ago. For those of you affiliates carrying us live,

Trump has just announced J.D. Vance to be his running mate for anybody that cares. And there you go. And so I love J.D., by the way. I may or may not have predicted that. You might have actually predicted that about a few hours ago. You and Ken were having a lengthy discussion while the rest of us were watched. And the book Hillbilly Elegy was what brought him to the forefront. One of the things it did, and he's the author of it.

It's a great book, by the way. Regardless of whether you agree with Trump or politics or anything else, you'll enjoy the book. It's a great read. It caused me to go down a rabbit hole and read a whole bunch of stuff on Scots-Irish. It's very good stuff. Very good information.

So I challenge you to read that if you want to know a little bit more about J.D. Because it's pretty much a. Well, it's his story. It's kind of like the educated glass castle. If you're jd um because it's pretty much a well it's his story it's kind of like the educated glass castle if you're a book fan it's kind of in that genre um educated glass castle no it's not it's not more educated than glass castle was both of them were about your story it's about people's stories and how they grew up those are people that overcame yeah and then you grow up in these wild environments and you're just like oh my gosh like it's and then go be and then go be somebody yeah and they did yeah but i mean like

the the stories and stuff that i mean people that i just grew up you know boring compared to some of these i was gonna say you probably promised for you based on those two stories aaron is in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Hi, Aaron. How are you? Better than I deserve. My question today is I need a vehicle in the next month, and I'm wondering if I should wait and tough it out until I have enough money, which is $5,000 to $7,000. I want to spend on a good, reliable vehicle, or if I should go ahead and finance. How much do you have today?

I have $800. And you have no car at all? So this vehicle is for my significant other. You're going to buy a car for somebody you're not married to um i mean it's probably gonna be in my name and then she'll drive it you're gonna buy a car for somebody you're not married to possibly going into debt for that too yeah you want to know how to screw up a relationship go into debt and buy a girl a car. That'll make you hate the girl.

What? No, it won't. Not necessarily, but Aaron, no, it's just not smart. By the time this is over... Why can't she... Hold on, Aaron, why can't she go buy a car? Oh, there's an idea. Well, I mean, because I'm the one taking her and transporting her to her job. Yeah.

Well, why can't she buy a car i mean because she just doesn't make enough to be able to have it by the time we need it we why do we need a car she needs a car you have one by the time you need we need it what do you mean what does that mean is there something happening in the future yeah i mean she has to be able to get to school and then it's her job herself okay so how what was she going to do before you i mean like what was her plan of life to live life independently right before she met you what was she how was she doing that anyways she i mean with with her parents. Okay. We were 17 and 18. Oh, you're 17 and 18 right now?

Yes. Okay. And she doesn't live with her parents anymore? No, not anymore. Okay. She lives with you? Yes. And you have $800?

Yes. And you're 17 and 18? Are you all in high school? Yes. Yes. Okay. and you're 17 and 18 are y'all in high school yes yes okay uh aaron i i don't know i just like felt this like mom heart you're a kid like this isn't your response this is not this isn't right this isn't this isn't right you're a kid you're you should not be taking care of another teenager, regardless of relationship. So that's not, that's, yeah. Who's 17?

Me. Okay. So you're not a legal adult yet in the great state of Oklahoma until you're 18. You can't sign a contract under contract law in the state of Oklahoma. Are you living with your parents, Aaron? Yes. What do they say about this?

I mean, they want her to pay for her vehicle, and I understand that, and it just wouldn't be possible right now. Yes, it is now it's as possible as you paying for it both sound pretty impossible but her buying it is is as singularly as possible as you are you in high school and she's graduated uh no we're both juniors you're both you both are going into your senior year you just finished your junior year of high school yes okay why did she leave her parents house uh just a lot of uh bad situations a lot of it that was pretty vague was there was there safety issues involved yeah okay yeah okay um Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So the answer to your question is very complex.

It's not as simple as you see it. You called and asked us, so we're going to love you well and tell you the truth because we care about her, we care about you, we want you to win long term. Okay. We care about her. We care about you. We want you to win long term. Okay? The situation that has set itself up at a very, very young age has very bad statistical probabilities. And what I mean by that is the chance of you two ending up married and successful 40 years from now is close to zero. Okay? And there's all kinds of data to back that up. It's not just some kind of old guy trying to pop your little love balloon here okay but the

deal is it's sweet that you all gave this girl a place to live because she's got a toxic home environment now you need to keep her life separate from yours you are not a legal adult and you do not need to be buying a girlfriend a car by the way I would tell you that if you're 27 except for the legal adult and you do not need to be buying a girlfriend a car. By the way, I would tell you that if you're 27, except for the legal adult part, I would tell you not to buy your girlfriend a car because it's a good way for her to end up hating you or you hating her while you pay payments on the car. It really does happen every day. We talk to people all the time on this. So if she wants to get a car, I would suggest she work 24-7 and your mom and dad coach her and feed her and give her a

place to live so that she can put all of her money in a pile and get a car, a little $3,000 or $4,000 car that she pays cash for while working her tail end off this summer. Then you drive your car and go to school and graduate from high school, sir. And she drives her car and goes to high school and graduates, sir, and then let's talk about combining our finances after we're married someday, if that ever occurs. That gives you the best statistical probability of winning, okay? So there's an in-depth body of research done about 10 years ago that says if you follow the proper life order that your

probability of not ending up at the poverty level is almost zero 97% chance you will not be at the poverty level if you graduate from high school before you get married and if you get married before you have a baby. So don't be making babies and don't be getting married until you graduate from high school and do it in the right order. If you do those three things, you have a 97% chance of not being at the poverty level in America today. Isn't that bizarre? Something that simple.

And that's what this conversation is scaring rachel and me for y'all because you're going to get this out of order dude if you're not real careful well you're taking on responsibility aaron that's not your responsibility you're carrying something as a 17 year old kid that you don't need to carry you're a young man and this is not your job the adults in her life failed her your mom and dad are being generous and giving her a place to stay. It is not your job to finance her life at 17, okay? I want to relieve you of that. That's not an act of love on your part.

It's an act of desperation and displaced, misplaced honor. Please let mom and dad, let her handle this. If your mom and dad want to give her $1,000, just give it to her and help her get a car. That's okay. I don't mind doing that. I don't mind helping the young lady. But let's keep this stuff in the right order.

And because the way you presented all this stuff to us was like you were two people in your 20s or something. And we had to dig into the conversation underneath your bad language that said you were acting like you're something you're not. So quit that. This is The Ramsey Show. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Today's question of the day comes from Erin in Washington. Erin says, I'm 32 years old and my fiance is 29

and together we are worth 1.4 million. We have no debt, but I'm having trouble justifying the cost of our wedding. With current quotes, we estimate the total cost to be around 50 to 65,000 and that is after cutting out a lot of things that you traditionally plan around a wedding like a bachelor or bachelorette trip. I was raised in a frugal household and I only recently started to embrace treating myself out from time to time on one hand i genuinely want to celebrate

with our friends and family but on the other uh my head and heart hurt the fact that it'll cost us over fifty thousand dollars almost five hundred thousand dollars in opportunity cost based on a seven percent compounding annual return for the next 30 years. Somebody give Aaron a glass of champagne. How can we analyze our options and make the right call without looking back with regrets? Aaron, we know who the nerd is in the family. Who does 7% compounding interest on your wedding and compares it on the opportunity cost me i would do something like that you are a fellow nerd i salute you live and enjoy oh my gosh

stop being so uptight yeah enjoy go enjoy you have the money the information we don't have is what your household income is but if you're 1.4 million at 32 and 29, you're already millionaires. My guess is that your income is probably approaching 150 or 200. That would be my guess. Wouldn't you? I don't know. I'm guessing. I have no clue.

Yeah, I mean, I would assume they're doing very well. Yeah. I can tell you this. The average wedding cost in America today published surveys, 28, i was gonna say i think it's and i saw some 35 okay maybe inflation so okay 30 let's call it 30 000 bucks all right and the average household income is around 70 so people are spending a little less than half their annual income on a wedding these days as an example that's average and you can be above average it could be below average and you

could decide what you wanted to call whether you call that whole thing crazy or not okay you can you can have that discussion that's all fine uh but if you're making 150 000 bucks a year you're worth 1.4 and you spend 50 grand on a wedding it is not out of line it's not like i'm a nerd and i'm frugal but it's not like blowing my mind okay so the way we look at expenditures is are they unreasonable is not the amount it's the amount in ratio to your income in ratio to your net worth can you put that amount of money in the middle of the kitchen floor and burn it and still be okay because that's what you're getting ready to do well it is a lot of happiness there's a lot of happiness there's a lot of happiness and then it's over like 24 hours later okay and memories that you last forever and the photos will not come out of the storage closet

for the next 25 years so uh and the videos won't even be in the right format to watch them anymore so um dvd player yeah so who's got a dvd player who's got a vhs player everybody raise your hand yeah so um yeah that that's uh and paid a lot of money for that videographer so i had a big chunky thing on his shoulder life is to be enjoyed it is it is and i think you spend it i i think you do it i think you do it but you do it in ratio to your income and in ratio to your net worth and given your net worth and your age i'm gonna extrapolate an income out of that and say that in both cases you're okay if you called and said 150 000 or wrote in is what my mother-in-law to be wants to spend and i don't and we make 150 i would say no i agree

with you that's too much because it's a ratio it's a ratio to what can you that's the way i ask myself about some of the things i've spent money on that are that is consumption and aaron obviously this is consumption yeah he has recently just embraced enjoying himself enjoying life yes so enjoy it it's good it's good i think i think you're okay aaron um and i i think you're okay to stop it there too and you're okay to say that's all i'm gonna do i'm not gonna sure and having a budget is smart regardless of what money you have because this is a black hole this can be a wedding can become a there's the next the next so you do want a amount that you're like okay this feels right and we're going to budget around that you know that's a good thing to go back to because the wedding is one of those

things where the players that are involved if you're doing project management the stakeholders are crazy and they cannot be told no no one can tell the mother no no one can tell the daughter no like the florist i'm just saying the cake maker it's like so the thing the thing that we did successfully and rachel obviously is the enjoy life ramsey um and so we did successfully with rachel denise even daniel we participated some in that wedding was we set a number and then we said okay based on that number what are you going to spend on the dress what are you going to spend on the reception budget from it yeah you're going to spend on the reception and break down yeah exactly what you're going to have what percentage of that number so out of your

60,000 what's going to be the dress out of your 60,000 what's going to be the reception what's going to be the photographer what's going to be the dress? Out of your $60,000, what's going to be the reception? What's going to be the photographer? What's going to be the venue? What are you going to pay the preacher? Well, it just gives you a guideline. It's an event management budget, and you lay the budget out. Oh, and by the way, you and your bride-to-be lay that budget out without any of these other crazy people in the room, and then you guys are in charge of your life and your money,

and that's what we're going to spend. So when you go to the caterer and the caterer goes, oh, for $10,000 more we can. No, this is what we said we were going to do. And the florist says, oh, for $5,000 more. No, this is what we said we were going to do. Because every one of them are used to jacking everybody up. It's a jack-up industry.

And so you've got to have a plan, and you've got to stick to the plan, and you've got to be in agreement and you got to stick to the plan and you got to be in agreement and unified yeah and a lot of large projects you're going to manage together as a couple and in a lot of these situations even just the word wedding wedding invitation wedding cake if you just went bought cake or got an invite there actually been there's been studies done that it's significantly marked up because it has the word wedding next to it too so be thinking about that put baby in front of it too yeah yes yes it's like it's like i can go to ace hardware and buy a stainless steel screw for for 12 and a half cents but if you say it's for a boat it's 12 if you say it's for an airplane it's 3700 it's the same screw you know i mean it's the same

thing it's the exact same deal you just yeah it's what does the space allow, and you've got to manage to that. So, Erin, you've got all of that to manage against already, but then enjoy the day. Shut up and enjoy the day. But it doesn't mean no boundaries. That's right, yeah. We're going to set the boundaries. We're going to set a game plan, detail, line item out the budget.

You're a nerd. You'll be able to do that. You and your spouse agree to it. Be kind and gentle and just smile and tell everyone, no, that we've, you know, whatever her name is and I have agreed to this. No, we've agreed to this. No, this is what we've agreed to. We need to bring it back down to that.

And this is what we've agreed to. Well, we can't do that because this is what we've agreed to. And you just keep that. You're going to say that 4,000 times in the the next year and i'll say this as the as the woman i think that the way aaron spelled i'm assuming he's a dude so i think if she has had a dream of like you know the flowers being this well then cut the budget somewhere else that's right so like let her aaron oh yeah like for sure if she wants to spend more or less on the dress whatever as long as the total So like let her, Erin. Oh, yeah. Like. For sure. Set the tone because she's probably more. If she wants to spend more or less on the dress, whatever.

She's probably, yeah. As long as the total doesn't exceed. That's right. It's the same thing decorating a stinking house. Yeah. You know, as long as, do whatever you want to do as long as the total doesn't exceed. That's right. That's right.

Yeah. And so spend more in the living area and downstairs where nobody goes, put the cheap carpet. Yeah. And let me just say, we were talking, we did a photo shoot for the show, the Ramsey, so all the Ramsey personalities, including Dave, we were all together at 10 o'clock this morning shooting pictures so some of us were talking before you got there my favorite thing we dave hates photo shoots which yeah it's fine uh you did great though you smiled it's great uh but we were talking about you know part of the ramsay plan like so much of this show it is

helping people get out a lot of people are underwater right the the inflation is high there's not a lot of margin right for the average person listening and our goal is that you do this stuff over a long period of time and you're going to see a lot of traction you're going to look up and you know one point four million at 32 yeah five years and your life is going to look different um so when you get to that point enjoy it like enjoy it. Like, enjoy it. Spend, save, and give. It's three buckets. And for some reason,

sometimes our Ramsey fellow listeners that got to the point of winning, they don't enjoy it. So enjoy it. Live like no one else so later you can live. Go to concerts. And give like no one else. Invite a friend.

Go to a concert. Go on a trip. Like, just enjoy life. Not everything has to be on a compound annual return basis that's true that's great this is the ramsey show selling a house buying a house in this weird real estate market is a little weird so i suggest you get the weirdness out because it's a big old transaction baby you get the weirdness out by having a pro in your corner someone who knows what they're doing

that's high octane high protein does uh lots of transactions a year 50 200 or 300 transactions a year whatever if they're in the ramsey trusted program meaning they're real estate agents that are endorsed local providers and we have vetted them and we coach them they're trusted by us then they are high octane they're not somebody got their license three weeks ago and just that's your uncle charlie at the church no no no no no no ramsey trusted agents have years of experience if you want to find who can represent you buying or selling in this weird market, go to ramseysolutions.com slash agent for free. We'll tell you who the trusted agents are.

Alex is with us in Miami. Hi, Alex. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? So my parents are in their late 60s. I just found out they only have $200,000 saved for retirement. I'm just wondering how I can help them this late in the game. Okay. Are they willing to accept your help? Probably not, but at least advice.

That's what I mean. They will accept your advice? I believe so, yes. It will be unusual. Yeah, well. It's hard for parents to listen to their kids because we call it the powdered butt syndrome. Once someone's powdered your butt, they don't want your opinion about sex or money.

Usually. Yeah, usually that probably will partially be the case. I mean, I'm 26, and I have about that amount saved up already. Yeah. Which should give you street cred, but with anybody else it would, but it's probably less so with your old man. But you can try. Okay, so you're wanting to just sit down and talk to them

and you're asking how to do that uh no the advice to use i guess you know at 67 years old there's only so much time compound interest a proper etf investment um you know what the 200 000 is invested in uh i don't know exactly i'm sure it's a lot of individual stocks and not etfs what makes you think that uh i've seen some of the portfolio okay um okay i've that's one of the things that i've been saying for years now is get rid of the individuals go to good a normal etf well an etf mutual fund function about the same way we recommend mutual funds typically no big difference for purposes of diversification they both accomplish that goal um and they both have good long track records if you're doing like an s&p 500 etf it's a pretty simple equation just like buying an s&p index

mutual fund same thing thing, basically. So we put our money, and I'm in my 60s, across four types of mutual funds, growth, growth in income, aggressive growth, and international. And I look for mutual funds for my long-term investing that have long track records of outperforming the S&P. Okay? And because if I'm not going to beat the S&P, I might as well just drop it on an index, right? Yeah.

Okay. So somewhere in that 11.5 to 13 range is where most of that's going to fall over a long period of time as a rate of return. If you've got it invested where it averages 10, it will double every seven years. So if they're 67, when they they're 74 it'll be 400 if they keep their hands off of it when they're 81 it'll be 800 if they don't touch it now do they have other income to live on Yeah, both parents work. My mom actually had just stopped recently, but about 270,000 they bring in. Wow.

That's why it was shocking. Have they been making that for a long time? A decent bit. So they just spend like they're in connor's if only he had listened to you from the get-go yeah there's uh you know some loans that were taken out still some money on the the house that was purchased decades ago yeah well i'm going to use the 270 to clean up any debt that's remaining and try to live on about 50 to 75 and pile up cash because we have a wealth. As you've noted, you have a net worth shortfall,

and you've still got debt on your house. These are two problems going into retirement. So I want to become debt-free and build an estate as big as I can build it. While we've got this fabulous shovel. I've got a large shovel. But they can't live on 275 the rest of their life. It's not sustainable. They don't have it. It'll be gone in one year.

Yeah. Yeah, it's almost the discipline and the new habits of living on less, going into retirement is going to be important. Yeah. So they're going to have to set a new lifestyle. If I woke up in their shoes at 67, I would give it three really hot years and say at 70 I'm going to relax until then I'm going to burn it, burn it, burn it down, baby. What does your dad do for a job?

He's an advertiser. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I would clean up all debt and stack cash as high as i could stack it by 70 and i bet he could do a lot by then don't you if they really got serious about it now i have no idea because it sounds like somebody at that house has never told the other person no yeah i mean there's a little bit of that for sure well i mean some either we just we live in a constant state of party i don't know what the where the devil's 270 grand is

going at 67 years old and if you're broke i mean you know they're not broke but they're dadgum close so i share your concerns i hope they will adopt a plan now here's what i would do if I were in your shoes. I'll add one last thing to this. Here's how you, those of you that are facing something where you're trying to advise your parents and it's hard for them to listen to you, the powdered butt syndrome and all that. Don't talk about their failures or what they need to do or what's wrong. Talk about what you did. Just say, dad, you know, here's what I did. And I've already got 200. I'm only 26. Here's what I did. And I did this. And here's what I did. And I've already got 200. I'm only 26. Here's what I did. And I did this.

And here's what I did. I sacrificed now because I knew if I could get out of debt, I would have stability and sustainability and have the ability to build wealth. All of these abilities are on there. So get rid of the debt, dad. That's what I did. And then I was able and gosh, if you were to do that, I can help you. I would coach you. I'd be, I'd be your biggest cheerleader. I'm not going to interfere in your business if you don't want me to, but man, I'm so excited about what this has done for my wife and I, this for our lives and how we've changed because we're doing this stuff. In any of this that you would allow me to share with you, I would be so honored. And that's your only shot. I was going to say, and then temper your expectations because as many

parents at that point want to change the way they've been doing money at 67, like you always say, Dave, sometimes you don't want to change. I'm not going to change. There is a point that they get, they're like, and you can't change that, Alex. Like, you know, I mean, as good of intentions as you have and as much as you want to see them do something different, you can't, you can't, you can't force them to change. So there's, so i'd say have some

realistic expectations just going in to that conversation too yeah we've been transparent on this show a lot about that i've said it many times on the air that the hardest stage of parenting is when your children are grown because you no longer get to tell them what to do and they can just go do stupid stuff and you just have to watch now mine have not done anything extremely stupid but they don't always do things they don't do things they don't do things perfect and you know here's another thing here's another stage that's really frustrating when your parents won't do what you think they should do and you think what your your parents are doing things that you think are stupid that's

hard too right Rachel a lot of that right Rachel we're not doing anything extremely stupid but the truth is you're all adults I can't believe you bought that table you know I can't believe you're spending that on that I can't believe you you know but you never say that because it doesn't do any good and it's not your job to say that you don't have a position to say that so you just have to stand back and watch people that you love be different and that's hard for kids with their parents it's hard for parents with their grown kids and in his case he's truly like the well well and the well-being of his parents is at stake is what he feels you know what i mean like they don't have the money for retirement he's got a reason to say it yeah exactly but uh it's not it's not a minor discomfort about how you cook

a steak or something that's not what it is but it's right but it is a um you made the mashed potatoes wrong or something but it's not it's not that but it's but but and it is coming from a good place but you still have the same problem it is it's a it's the hardest relationship is for grown people that love each other dearly to let them have boundaries and let them have their own space. This is The Ramsey Show. We'll see you next time.