The Ramsey Show - App - Help! I Hate Making a Budget, How Can I Enjoy It? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Chrissy Wright, Ramsey Personality No. 1, best-selling author of the book Business Boutique, is my co-host today. As we take your questions at 888-825-5225, the call is free, and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. 888-825-5225.

Christy is also in Olympia, Washington, and is our first caller of the hour. Hi, Christy, how are you?, Washington, and is our first caller of the hour. Hi, Christy. How are you? I'm good. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up? Okay.

I'm a little nervous, so bear with me. I've been dying to have a reason to call you, and I finally do. We have a house in California that we're currently renting out my husband's in the military we bought the house um before he joined um so we are renting it out currently we're not making any money on it um we considered raising the rent just to make ends meet um but my question is, we're on track to move again in six months to New Mexico. Ultimately, we would love to be back in California, back into our hometown. Should we sell it?

Yes. I knew he wasn't even going to let you finish, Christy. And I knew that was going to be your answer, but I didn't know what you thought was the current market, what you thought it would be in 45 years. Let's try reverse engineering it, okay? You're in the military and you're moving from city to city, and you're not going to be in California for at least five more years.

Correct. And you don't own a house there. Let's pretend you don't own a house there. Let's pretend you don't own a house there. And you woke up one morning and thought, you know what? I'm going to go over in this little town in California and buy a rental house that I don't make any money on. You would never do that. Right. And yet you have.

Yeah. So let's undo it. Sell it. Okay. So now we currently might be profiting like $100,000. Should we just put that into something and let it sit there so when we come back to California, we've got a big chunk of change to put down on a house? Or should we buy something in New Mexico?

Yeah, that'd make a great house fund. Do you have any debt, though? No, no debt. We have $30,000 in the savings. Wonderful. Okay. Yeah, I would just take whatever profits you have. Of course, pay your taxes on it and set it aside in a future real estate mutual fund.

Put it in a mutual fund, and just in your mind, you could kind of mark that file. That's my house fund for the future. And you can keep to it by the way if you want to that wouldn't hurt anything and um by the way there's not a law that says that you're necessarily going to end up back in california when you're done five years ago you never dreamed you'd be where you are right now that's true we do want to be back in our hometown with family. That would be our goal. And that's why we have a smaller mortgage right now with that house. I would just be afraid of coming back to California and then getting into a bigger mortgage than before just because of the prices.

Well, the problem is you're going to lose money between now and then, and you're going to wish you had just not had to fool with this whole thing. You're better off not long-distance landlording. You're better off not fooling with this. It doesn't make sense. And so, and we're not, I mean, I know it's your goal to be back there, but no one knows. I mean, five years is a long time. A lot of stuff happens in five years.

Yeah, things may change. Dave, you use this example a lot. So speak to the principle at play there, because regardless of the circumstances, Christy's question was about the house, but I hear you say that a lot so speak to the principle at play there because regardless of the circumstances christy's question was about the house but i hear you say that a lot okay let's reverse engineer it if this was not true whatever the circumstances are would you go do it would you go buy it would you create it the answer is always no right the question answers itself not necessarily i mean you know uh if i didn't own a ski boat i'd be buying one this week because I'm going to the lake this weekend. Right.

But I'm saying something that someone's trying to get out of, I guess. I mean, the point is, do I keep it or do I sell it? Yes. And you can ask that about anything, an investment. You can ask it about a ski boat. You can ask it about um whatever but if you look at something and you say if i didn't already own that i wouldn't go buy it for the very reasons that you wouldn't go buy it you're not using it you don't like it it's a bad investment it's whatever it's the same reasons you

wouldn't keep it that was what i was going to ask so whenever you ask the question if this weren't true would you go do it are there ever circumstances where that doesn't apply so you're saying it's like if you if the answer is yes i would go do this today anyway then then you'd keep then you know okay you'd keep it okay so for instance let's say um the the first place this always comes up is with a pure investment like let's say a let's say you um bought stock in i'll just make up a company home depot okay about stock in home dep. And let's say you bought it at $75 a share and it went down to $50 a share. And you say, gosh, I'm going to wait on it to come back up. I go, well, would you buy stock at $50 a share?

Yeah, because I've got real reason to think it's going to come up. Right. Then you would sit and wait on it to come up. And then you say, oh, no, I wouldn't buy it at $50 a share. I wish I hadn't bought it at $75 a share because I think it's going to come up right then you would sit and wait on it to come up and you say oh no i wouldn't buy it at 50 a share i wish i hadn't bought it at 75 a share because i think it's going to go down then why then why are you falsely waiting on it to come back up to be your measure of when you sell it you need to say you don't analyze it based on the past you analyze it based on the future yep okay you're forward looking with your decisions and going okay if i wouldn't do that again now,

then I don't keep doing it just because of the past. And investments is called a sunk cost analysis. What you've put into it, your cost, is irrelevant as to whether you keep it. Virtually irrelevant. I mean, you may have some tax implications, but it's virtually irrelevant. The investment analysis should be, and for that matter, the possession of a boat should be, the future of that.

Not, my family's always had a boat, I've always had a boat, this boat's not been in the water for 10 years, it sits in my garage collecting dust. But because of the past, I'm going to continue to keep this thing in the garage. Yeah. Okay, well that's dumb. Yeah. But if you're going to use it this weekend, and you've always used it in the summer, then you would go get a boat, or you would keep your boat in that case so you're looking forward with all of your decision making analysis uh not the past the weight of the emotions the weight of the cost of the item not that and so

you know if you would go and buy a small house in a small town in california because you're afraid real estate prices are going to go up and if you didn't own it now and you would go do that now i wouldn't suggest that but if you would do it then maybe you would keep different and that's where we see it the most every time i host with you it's always around real estate i had a house i'm holding the house now i'm renting out the house and it's another state and the house is almost always inherited into that situation meaning no one's set out in those situations to be a landlord. Right, right. It's a landlord by default is where most of those questions come from.

Yes. I became a landlord by default. I got married. We moved into her house, but we kept my old house as a rental. That's landlord by default. We're in the military. We move. We bought a house everywhere we've been, and every time we move off, we turn it into a rental property.

That's not I decided that's going to be my rental investment strategy. It's landlord by default. And it's not wise. It almost never leads you to a good real estate purchase or keeping the right piece of real estate as an investment. I own one piece of property that I formerly lived in right now, and it's a great rental, and I would buy it again as a rental. So I pass the acid test. But the house I currently live in would not be a great rental.

It's too stinking ridiculous. So not a good idea. So it's going to be sold. That's the deal. This is the Ramsey Show. You know, I get lots of questions about ID theft, since it's a huge problem. Most people just worry about financial fraud, which is a big mistake. Tax refund fraud, for example, is out of control.

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smartest most affordable way to go Christy Wright, Ramsey Personality, is the co-host of the Ramsey Show today. The Christy Wright Show is where you can hear her on her podcast. It's where faith meets personal development, so you can have a bigger faith and a better life. Get the encouragement that you want and the tough love truth you need to connect with God, take control, and enjoy your life. New episodes every Tuesday on YouTube and anywhere you listen to podcasts. The Christi Wright Show. Be sure and check it out. Phone number here is 888-825-

5225. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. They have a 100% satisfaction guarantee. Means even if you mismeasure or pick the wrong color, they'll remake your blinds for free. You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month,

you'll save even more. Use the promo code RAMSEY to get the best possible deal. Today's question comes from Nama in Maryland. My husband and I have no debt. We have a significant savings account considering our income, and my husband is super responsible with the budget. The problem is that I can't stand to budget. I hate the accountability, the time it takes, and how confusing it is.

Besides for just sucking it up and telling myself to be a big girl, what can I do to shift my mindset and my actions? This is interesting to me because I'm curious. I feel like there's more there of why don't you like it? Because it really shouldn't be that confusing, especially if you have no debt and you are using something simple like every dollar where it's actually fun to drag and drop your expenses and their categories. And yeah, I don't know. I don't know. If you don't know why something matters, you don't want to do it. But if you could see the payoff of how you actually control your money versus it controlling you, then the means to the end becomes worth it. I don't know. What do you think, Dave? What else is she saying in that question? Well, I'm not sure.

There's obviously a lot of possibilities. Number one, yeah, you need to know why you're doing it because otherwise it's not confusing. It's really not that hard. And it doesn't take that much time once you start doing it. So it really does come down to the accountability. And, you know, so if you're self-admitting, I'm a princess and I don't want to be told no, even by my own self for my own good, then you might as well eat a box of donuts at every meal and be 800 pounds. I mean, if you have no self-control whatsoever and no accountability for your own benefit.

Yeah. I mean, you know, it's just misbehavior. It's just immaturity at that point. But I don't think that's really what it is here. I'm kind of thinking that, you know i'm a spender and i learned to love the budget because it gives me permission to spend that's what i was saying i wonder if what she's saying without saying it is her and her husband don't see the budget the same so like for her she doesn't feel the freedom to put in the budget what she wants to spend money it feels that we have money

to spend on i don't think she's got a voice in this yeah but she hasn't bothered to take it either she's copping out yeah yeah you know do i just need to be a big girl there's a little whining going on yeah so uh you know yeah you do need to be a big girl and you need to speak up and say okay we've got plenty of room in this budget we make plenty of money we don't have any debt and we're going to put some joy on the paper here you set the budget you can make it look like whatever you want it to your money yeah it's your money but you're not in congress you can't just spend odd infinitum you just can't keep going and going and going and going and going that doesn't work so yeah you do have to have some boundaries but they that but they're your boundaries you get to set them so a i think she's probably not speaking into it doesn't feel like she's got control

b probably nerd husband's got the budget too tight. Yes. To where there's no joy in this thing. And then C, yeah, you do have to be a big girl and suck it up. Yeah. There's part of that in there, too. No whining allowed. But it might be that you just need to take control of this.

It is a spending plan. Yeah. It's how you're going to spend your money. Yeah. So it's not saying, you know, Dave Ramsey doesn't want me to ever have fun again. Oh, shut up. The whole point of living like no one else is later you can live and give like no one else. The whole point of paying a price to win is, and oh, by the way, it's your choice.

Dave Ramsey's not coming to your house and straighten you out every night when you misbehave. I mean, this is a matter of are you going to be a grown up and are you going to control your destiny? That's all it is. It's not me telling you. And I don't think that you need to live on beans and rice the rest of your life. And I don't hate poor people. I have been both. And it's easier when you have a little money.

So I'm trying to teach you how to have a little money. It's that simple. So, you know, the whining lefties are just beyond belief but they're there and so she's not that her thing is she just isn't speaking into this and she doesn't feel power yeah you don't feel like she's getting power over her life and this thing is being used by her husband to control her yeah yeah and she points out we have no debt we have significant savings considering our income and my husband is super responsible the budgets there's all the backstory why can't you stay i can't stand to budget you need to answer the question why can't you stand to budget and she

says i don't like it's confusing it takes time that's bull it's absolutely bull yeah she's not represented in the budget you're you're not represented you don't have any say you don't feel like you have any say maybe he's not being hardcore but you're just anticipating that he is maybe that's the way you were raised i don't know what's going on here but but there's there's something about you need a voice in this you need to set it you've got some room you need to put some fun some joy on the paper enjoy your money some of it but then yes you need to have guardrails we all you never make enough money to not have guardrails yeah i mean i make a lot of money and i have guardrails yeah you know i have boundaries you have a plan they're different boundaries than when i was broke yeah but they're still

boundaries they're still guardrails you know you got different different situations so all right open phones at 888-825-5225 thank you for joining us america're glad you're here. Christy Wright is our co-host. If you've been paying attention to the real estate market this year, you've noticed that competition out there is really high. It's a cray-cray real estate market, in part because inventory has been hitting all-time lows. It is truly a seller's world. Now, when inventory is low,

it simply means there's more buyers buying than sellers selling, which turns the pressure up, the prices up, the bidding wars start. This is not amateur hour. You don't want to be playing out there without a pro in your corner. You're going to get hammered. To win in this market, you need a pro by your side if you're buying or selling. A monkey can sell a house, but not necessarily for the right price. And lots of monkeys went and got their real estate licenses this year.

A bunch of them. They've sold two houses in their entire life, and you're going to put your largest asset up for sale with them. Dumb idea. No, you need a pro in your corner, and you can instantly connect with one of our endorsed local providers, high-octane, high-protein real estate agents, ramseysolutions.com slash agent.

Find a Ramsey-trusted agent near you, RamseySolutions.com slash agent. Open phones, 888-825-5225. You jump in, and we will talk. Linda is here in Boise, Idaho. Hi, Linda. How are you? Hi, Dave and Christy. Thank you for taking my call.

Sure. This call is probably more for Christy. My son played in the minor leagues for the Cubs, and he's also been a high school and a college pitching coach. But that's in the past. And he would like to start his own pitching consultant business. He works full-time. This would be on the side, and I would be the manager. So what do you do to get started? I have so many follow-up questions, Linda.

Is this something you want to do? I know it's his idea. I know he's good at it. I know all that. But let's talk about you for a second. Is this something you want to do? Yes. I'm retired.

It'll give me something to focus on. I'm all in. Okay. What does he, what's his vision for this business? He works full-time. This is a side gig. Is it just for fun? Is it to make some extra cash? Does he want to grow it to be the full-time thing?

Probably just for fun. When he goes on the baseball field, he sees young children, you know, third, fourth, fifth grade, having poor pitching mechanics, which could affect their future if they go on in high school. Linda, hang on through the break. We're going to answer your question when you get back so we can dig into this. Yeah, we want to dig into it a little bit more and give you a good, solid answer. We'll be right back with you.

This is the Ramsey Show. We'll see you next time. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Christy Wright, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. We're talking with Linda in Boise, Idaho. Her son is wanting to start a side gig doing pitching coaching. He has been a professional ball player, and he's asking his mom, Linda, to run the coaching business, I guess, while he does the coaching. And Christy was in the process of helping her with that. Yeah, so, Linda, let's do a quick recap.

When we left and went to break, I was asking you, what's the vision for this business? So is this going to stay a side business? Does he want to grow it to full-time? Let's kind of pick up there. I think probably for now it would be a side business. He just got his master's in social work, so he'll be working professionally with children on that side. So this I would just be keeping into the baseball. Okay. Well, I'll tell you what jumps out to me first. There's a lot you want to plan for, especially because you would be running something that is your son is actually fulfilling the business side of it, of the coaching, consulting, pitching, you know, that type of thing. Here's what I would get really clear on, Linda, really clear.

What is he doing and what are you doing? Let's get real clear on that. What does he want you to do for the business? Is it the books? Is it the marketing? Is it the day-to-day admin work? Who's wearing which hats? So who's wearing the marketing hat?

Who's wearing the accounting hat? That type of thing. Obviously, he would be doing the actual coaching. But when you say running the business, that includes a lot of things. And I'm curious if there's aspects that he wants to do or expects to do. And then what he wants and expects you to do.

And just get on the same page. I would actually write it out. I would sit down and get really clear. What does this look like to you? Let's define it. Let's write it out. And then also, what are goals, vision, expectations? How many hours does he want to dedicate to this? How much money does he want to make through this? Do those correlate? What market does he want to serve? And is that market there in your town,

in your city, that type of thing? So I would just get really, really clear on what he's doing, what you're doing, and then I would baby step into it. He sounds like he's got a full plate already of things. And this may seem like a great idea that when he gets into it, he's overwhelmed. So let's just take it one step at a time, one client at a time. And you'll learn a lot when you get into it about what he wants to do more or less of, what you want to do more or less of what you want to do more or less of but i would take it slow start small grow slow and then you can you can build on it more once you learn a little bit i'll definitely um

linda what do you do for a living she's retired you're retired how old are you retired nurse you're retired nurse how old are you? 70. Okay. Alright. And is he wanting to do this for you? No. Okay. He loves baseball. I know that. But I mean, is he wanting you

to start, is he wanting you in this business to help you? Are you struggling with money? No. Okay. No. He's's independent we are independent we followed your all of your things for years and okay all right cool i just was making sure the what the motivations were behind all of this and what's going on so this is just simply him wanting to help some kids learn to pitch properly and um he doesn't want to deal with the administrative and business side of it he just wants to do the pitching part and you pick up the rest that makes sense okay cool well i hope it

works out i'm with christy let's baby step into it move slow into it incrementally so that you guys can learn as you go and figure out what your next steps let's send her a copy of business boutique that'd be great reading for her anyway as she's kind of having these conversations with him. Absolutely. That's perfect. So Kelly, I'll pick up Linda and send you a copy of Business Boutique. Elizabeth is with us in Canada. Hi, Elizabeth.

How are you? Hi. I am thankful to God for his blessings. Amen. Me too. What's up? So my husband is 29. I'm 34.

We're expecting our first baby in July. We don't have any debt except for our 30-year mortgage. We have about $280,000 left on that. We've only owned it for a little over a year. We have $30,000 in our emergency fund, and we have about $43,000 just sitting in our savings that we've saved up and kept there. And we're kind of a little bit divided on what to do with that. So my husband looks at the numbers and he wants to put it in investment for retirement. And I hate having the house debt.

And I know that it's not a huge chunk in relation to what we owe on the house, but I know that it would help pay down the principal. And I hate owing on the house. I don't like the debt. And we don't have any other debt. So it's like, ah, it's the one thing. But numbers-wise, he's thinking it won't get us ahead as fast as investing will when you're looking 30 years down the road so i guess with the question is with that 43 000 chunk should we pay down the principal on our mortgage or invest now or split it somehow or just i could just say screw it and get a brand new toilet to coma that would be like

well that's possibility okay i mean if you're on board there you go the uh uh i mean if you have a purchase that you need to make, other than a screw-it purchase, but I mean a legitimate purchase that you want to make, then that might be a play. But basically what we teach is what we call the baby steps, and it sounds like you're aware of them. Baby step one and two is to be debt-free, everything, but the house three is an emergency fund. You've done that. Beyond that, you have this $43,000, which we would apply to beginning your baby steps four, five, and six simultaneously. Four is putting 15% of your household income into retirement.

Are you doing that? Well, okay, so yes and no. So not 15, but so the cool thing is actually at my husband's job he makes about 90 000 a year and i'm going to be a stay-at-home mom so i wanted working but i'm not so our let's just say we make about households 90 000 so at the end of each year his um company gives him 12 of his annual income above what he made and we use that solely for investing so it's not we haven't if he just started there he's only been there for a little over a year, so we've only received one.

And that's just a lump sum bonus? Yeah, exactly. And so I think it's intended for investing, and that's what we use it for. So we've only been investing for a very short time. So what I would do is change your system then. You do not have a $90,000 income. You have a $102,000 income.

Okay. Counting bonuses. Yeah. Okay, give or take. $101,000, but somewhere right in there. And so I would be putting $15,000 a year of your money systematically, monthly, into retirement savings. Okay? And that's a budgeting change for you.

That really doesn't address the $43,000, but I would start that immediately. I would not do what you're doing because you might not get the bonus one year, and you need to be in the habit of steadily investing 15% of your income. Okay. So that's the direction I would go. Now, then the next step is, do you have children? One on the way in July. Then we might use some of that $43,000 to set aside for kids' college, maybe step five.

And anything that's left beyond that, I would put it on the house. And I am also doing math, and part of the math I'm doing is data that says that the typical millionaire that we studied in the largest study of millionaires ever done in North America shows that the typical millionaire has paid off home and substantial money in retirement. And what I just laid out for you will get you there substantial money in retirement 15 15 000 a year going into retirement and uh then beyond that uh uh you know you're putting the the money toward every dollar above that towards getting the home paid off and the typical person listening listening to this show, doing our steps, pays off their home in seven to eight years. The typical millionaire pays off their home in about 10 years.

But people following this stuff tend to be a little bit more intentional, a little bit more intense, and move in that direction. So somewhere in that 7 to 10 range, house is paid for, but it won't be if you keep screwing around and putting the $43,000 in investments because, quote unquote, I did some math, which, by the way, was wrong.

This is The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Christy Wright, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Christopher is in Dayton, Ohio. Hi, Christopher. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave. How are you doing? Better than I deserve. What's up? So I'll try and make a long story short. I am divorced about three years ago, and in those three years, I've been to court. My ex-wife has taken me to court five times. So each time we go to court, it costs anywhere between $10,000 and $30,000. I was on baby step two, just bumped down to baby step one.

So we're rebuilding our $1,000 emergency fund. We are $96,000 in debt. I am remarried. We have a household income of $120,000. Why does she keep taking you to court um i mean i don't want to speak illy of her uh i mean is this about kids or what's it about well in in her argument it's always about the kids um but she's um narcissist and depression so she lets that guide her ways.

Even though I keep winning in court, she keeps taking me back, just finding a different loophole to do it. And so we're gearing up for our fifth round now that she's taking me back for the same reasons. Okay. I think you need an attorney that gets on the offensive, not just the defensive. Because she's abusing the court system it sounds like she is my wife and i have talked about we don't even know if it's legal to start doing like uh harassment um type of uh legal action to answer but you need an attorney you

need an attorney to investigate that you really do do. Because this is, I mean, I'm just listening to what you're describing. And, you know, people who are continually doing that leave themselves open to a type of liability there. And so the abuse of the court system is a real thing. Attorneys can be sanctioned for that. And certainly individuals can. Just filing frivolous lawsuits is not allowed. You know? And so not allowed, you know. And so that's the, you know, I keep winning, I keep winning,

and she keeps looking for some angle. So anyway, but anyway, so you've got $96,000 in debt. Is that what you said? Yes, sir. How much of that is attorney's fees? That is current attorney fees is about $25,000. Okay. And what's the rest of it? The rest of it is from going through the divorce. Um, I took on all the debt that we had at the

time. And then, um, we, uh, you know, it was like a snowball effect in the wrong direction for us. We were dropping everything to be able to pay for attorneys. So then we accumulate debt because we have, you know, we could pay a lawyer or we could pay for food. I could lose my kids or we could feed the kids kind of thing. So we ended up making, I wouldn't call them bad choices. They were just a noose around our neck, and we had to accumulate credit card debt. So how much credit card debt is there? Credit card debt is sitting at, I believe it's 22 000 right now okay so that's 50 between

those two things that are associated with this what's the other 50 and then there was a personal loan to accumulate the uh the debt from when the divorce first took place that's currently sitting at 37 000 and then um the the rest of it is uh kids' embraces and stuff like that. Kids' embraces for $15,000? No, no. If that doesn't equal up to exactly $15,000, I'm trying to remember my Dave Ramsey website, what all of it was. But most of it is credit card and consolidation loan. Okay.

Oh, and family debt because they help me pay for lawyers as well. Okay. And you make $120,000 household income now with your new wife? Yes, sir. Okay, good. All right. And then your question at the end of this is what? So right now we're projected to pay off, if nothing else happens,

another $17,000 in debt by the end of the year. And we should be debt-free by mid-August of 20, or excuse me, mid-2025. That's our goal. And I guess our question, the wife and I were sitting around talking, and that is what could we possibly do to better protect ourselves so that when we do get slapped in the face with another court hearing, we're not scrambling for $20,000 to make it happen. Our goal, we're trying to beat these L's and knock out this debt as fast as possible. But every time we go to court, it really kicks us.

It beats us down. Yeah, yeah. Hey, I don't know. It may be that you treat this like it's a chronic situation say um uh you know if you had an illness that cost you twenty thousand dollars a year that was chronic you would have to put that into your budget and then above that work on getting out of debt right and so i i think you've got a chronic legal problem for now and you've got to continue.

So I put a couple grand a month in the budget set over in a separate savings account only for legal fees, potentially. And it might be that if it happens again, we're going to use those legal fees to be – those attorney's fees to be offensive. Okay. Okay, so you would say slow down paying off the debt to build up an account to build a paperware. Well, because you have a very high probability this is coming at you again. Yes, sir. And so, you know, you've got to get ready for it.

I mean, Christmas is coming in December. A lawsuit is coming from the ex-wife these are predictable things it is every time something good happens in my life it seems to happen and we're i'm not i'm not trying to be a black cloud that's not my point my point is just mathematically forecasting we're just going to predict and if the bad thing doesn't happen you've got the money it didn't go anywhere but you can't go buy a bass boat with it then you got to use it for debt absolutely so if for some reason she decides to calm down without being uh slapped into next week with an attorney which may be what has to happen um i mean sometimes you just have to stand up and fight

you know forward rather than backward and uh i don't know i, I don't know the particulars of your situation. I'm not an attorney. But, you know, there is a benefit to going after offensively some of these people that misbehave using the court systems. Well, and this is not working for your five times in. This is not working. So we can't. You know what I mean? Like, I would try something else after this fifth round or whatever it is. You know, I never suggest. I mean, very, very seldom do I suggest someone pick a fight. But sometimes you have to finish one in order for it to be over.

It's not going to be over until you finish it. You've got to punch and punch and punch until it's over. And you just stand there and just, you know. And the problem with being in a fight is it doesn't just hurt the person that you're hitting. It hurts you. Yeah. When you're hitting. You know, if you physically were in a fight, your hands would get damaged, you know.

You know, boxers come out, you know, they're damaged. You know, there's no one gets out of these things unscathed. It's not like there's one guy does all the hitting and one guy doesn't. Right. You know, everybody gets hit. But the thing is, if you're going to go through all that, at least stick in it long enough to win. Yeah. like there's one guy does all the hitting and one guy doesn't right you know everybody gets hit but the thing is if you're going to go through all that at least stick in it long enough to win yeah where you don't have to fear this every single year and just absolutely defeat the evil foe

you know that's what you and you have to take on that persona of doing that and it's very difficult yeah so it's emotional because you can hear the emotional drain on him oh my gosh it's just never and he's going along with his life i thought you were on him. Oh, my gosh. It's just never going away. And he's trying to move on with his life. I thought you were going to be the ex-wife. Yeah. But you're never going away. You know, just go away.

I've had people in my life like that. Just go away. Just go live your life over there somewhere. Just go away. You know? But they can't seem to do it. So they don't. No, it's not just a financial drain

it's just that emotional drain to you man the headache the strain on your marriage your kids it's it's uh you know and you you go from uh you know being angry to sad to back and forth and i'm just i'm so sorry yeah sorry you've been through that yeah and and and it's you know it's the problem is it's stealing both the emotion the the spirit, and the money from your future with your current wife. Right. That's the problem. You're taking your eyes off of good things that could be done. Instead, you have to deal with this crap and this fight.

And, hey, been there myself. Know how it is. Not in a divorce situation, but in other situations. And you've just got to, you just have to uh the bad actors they have to be punished and you know you don't have any way around it uh you know i i don't set out to be sheriff andy but um but we'll finish it you know if you're going to pick a fight and that's that's the that's where i'm coming from because i've been in those situations and sadly in legal battles where you have to become the aggressor rather than, even though you didn't start the fight, in order to stop it.

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