The Ramsey Show - App - How Can I Enjoy Money & Still Be Intentional? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: December 28, 2022

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Девочка-пай Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods, moving, and storage studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. We help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225.elle is with us in bend oregon starting off this hour hi michelle how are you i'm great thanks how are you guys better than we deserve what's up

so i was just curious um i was thinking about my husband and i were talking about refinancing our vehicle and then taking a personal loan so we can consolidate our credit cards. And I just want to know what your thought would be on that. It would be like almost half the interest that it was when I first got the car two years ago. And then obviously the interest on the personal loan is way less than the credit cards. So it makes sense to me that I wanted your opinion. What's the balance? On the cars, $12,500.

And the credit cards? About $19,000. Okay. And what's your interest rate on your car? Currently, I think it's at 9%. No, 7. Yeah, I want to say it's between seven and nine i i'm not certain i and and the new rate if you refinance would be what uh i have a quote from uh

credit karma for like 4.15 okay i doubt that's going to happen in this current environment. Zero percent chance. Yeah. So they're just trying to sneak you in with all we can use. I think you're about to get bait and switch. That's way below market rates. Okay, but let's say you saved 4% on, give or take, on, say, $10,000.

That's $400. Mm-hmm. Okay. What's your household income? About $75,000 after taxes. And the interest rate on your credit cards, the average on that $20,000 balance is what? I want to say probably like 24%, something like that.

Probably closer to 20%. Yeah, probably got some at 18%. But, yeah, that's probably about right. And then the interest rate on the offered refinance on that is how much? 9.63 or something like that. All right. So 10% savings, let's call it, for round numbers on $20,000 is $2,000. Okay.

So you have $30,000 in debt, and this move saves to $2,000. Okay. So you have $30,000 in debt, and this move saves you $2,400 a year. A year, right. You do not have a $2,400 problem. You have a $30,000 problem. Right. I understand that. Yeah.

But what my thought was is that, so I've been listening to your program for a couple months and um i've convinced my husband he does the bills and i've convinced him to stop putting little extras here on every single one focus on the smallest pay it off we've paid off two cards um we've got the thousand dollars in the savings you savings. Good, you're making progress. Yeah, and I want to hurry that. It's kind of hard because he doesn't see it the same way I do. So I'm like, $2,400 a year, though. Here's the point.

Here's the point. If you save 10% on this, which is approximately what you're saving, round numbers, you have addressed 10% of the problem. You still have 90% of the problem to address. So if you want to do it, that's fine. But it's laughable that you think you did something. Well, because if you say that 2400, you didn't hear me.

You're not listening. I just said 90% of the problem is still not addressed. Got it. You addressed 10% of the problem. This is the problem with debt consolidation. Because debt consolidation intellectually, psychologically triggers your brain and makes you think you did something. And you did do something, but it's only 10 you still have 90 of the problem and so we have to address this on a higher plane at a different level with

a different approach and if you want to do it that's fine but i want you guys uh working extra jobs not seeing this out of a restaurant unless you work there i want you saying no more vacations and we're on a written budget, and we're working together, and we're paying off these debts smallest to largest, and we sold so much stuff the kids think they're next. Okay. And when you get there, now you're addressing the 90%. If you also want to do the other, that's fine.

But when people do what you're describing to me, they don't do the other, and 88% of the time they end up with more debt then that's what i don't want yeah so that's kind of where i'm at i like you know just keep hammering away at the credit card so what i would tell you is this you got thirty thousand dollars worth of debt if you can pay off ten to fifteen thousand dollars by june first without doing this then if you want to refinance the balance of it at that point because you've proven to yourself you're willing to address the real problem which is you got it you got the real problem your husband is the real problem then you can do this but i'm afraid that

you're going to activate the part of your brain here's how you know okay that the uh the bible says the in the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks so the way what we think comes out of our mouth if we're not real careful okay including on the show so here's what you said you said i'm gonna pay off my debt you're no you're not you're gonna move you're gonna rearrange you're gonna move borrowing it yeah you're borrowing to lower interest which when you i know but my point is your heart is feeling like you did something, like I paid it off. You didn't pay it off. You just moved it around a little bit. Well, and I know that, and that's part of the thing. One of the credit cards that we currently owe on, basically he's not paying anything on it.

So that was going to kind of cover that too because basically he pays $200 a month but it's not taking anything off pay minimum payments on everything but your smallest debt attack your smallest debt with a vengeance work extra sell stuff don't go out to eat don't go on vacation work extra sell stuff don't buy anything and live on beans and rice rice and beans where your friends think you've joined a cult and your mother-in-law thinks you need counseling and then what's going to happen is you can pay off 30,000 making 75,000 in about 18 months doing that and that's approximately two thousand dollars a month okay and you're a different person on the back end right i understand that it's getting him do you remember how old are you how old are you michelle i'm 54 do you remember back in the early 80s when a diet was tab and

like a neutral light bar in the half of a grapefruit yes that's what you're trying to do right you're trying to shortcut and hack your way to this. Don't. There's no hack. Don't. You're right. Getting him to do the whole thing. Because here's what happened.

Interest rates did not put you guys $30,000 in debt. Your decisions did. Interest rates are not keeping you in debt. Your decisions are. And so, again, I'm fine with you doing the refinance, the debt consolidation. It does make mathematical sense, but it addresses 10% of the issue. You've got to address the other 90% or you're not going to win. And I've done you a disservice unless I preach at you like this, because I love you and I want you to win.

Thanks for calling. This is The Ramsey Show. ស្រូវានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលា� Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today as we answer your questions about life and about money. Chad is with us in Boston. Hi, Chad. How are you? Hi, Dave and John. Thank you for taking my call today. Sure. What's up? So I have, my parents are 73 and 75, and I've just been recently appointed power of attorney over their finances

to help them do some debt. They have about $25,000 in credit card debt, $17,000 on a car, and a $45,000 personal business loan, and a $475,000 mortgage. They bring in about $5,000 a month from pension and social security. They don't have anything in retirement and they have a rental income from half of their house that brings in about $2,200 a month. So the minimum payments on everything are about $7,200 a month, right, what they bring in. And I'm wondering how I can stop the credit card accounts and be able to stop the interest and stuff so that we can pay them down

and not have them all accruing interest and fees every month. And talking to a consolidation company, they want you to send them the money and then stop paying the payments. And then in 60 to 90 days, they'll make a settlement with them and you just keep sending them the agreed upon payment. Which does to your parents' credit exactly the same as filing a Chapter 13 bankruptcy. Right. And then you'll also find that the consolidation company does not follow through on their promises right it's a dirty slimy slimy business so uh what's your parents house worth uh i'm thinking somewhere

around 800 000 are they in poor health uh my mom is my mom's incapacitated and in the hospital right now i'm sorry yeah okay and why, and why are you the power of attorney? They just threw up their hands and said, we don't know what to do or what? My mom's always done the finances, and she's led my dad to believe that everything's okay. And, you know, she's been in and out of the hospital since Labor Day, and I just got involved to try to help make sure everything was current and on time.

Do you have total control of the checking account now? I do. They don't have access to it anymore to screw it up any further? They do have access to it, but my mom's incapacitated, and my dad's on board with getting things done. He's not going to touch it? No. She's not going to touch it?

No. Okay. touch it no she's not gonna touch it no okay because you you know you um yeah you can't outrun them continuing to do this if they if they can't put their fingers in it your your efforts are going to be for naught right no other no money at all no money at all my my dad's always retirement money to try to keep this house afloat and um just how long they've been in this house resources about 15 years they're in boston as well yes just south of boston okay oh expensive real estate market uh okay the easy equation is very painful and i sell the house and pay off all the debts and buy a house or a condo for 400 grand that

they move into that's paid for and now they're have uh five thousand dollars a month to live on and they got no payments in the world. They're not going to do that. You're going to get kicked out of the family if you do that. Yeah, that's a longer process because there's a lot to clean out of the house, and it's a pretty unique style house. Yeah, but it's going to have to. I mean, if we're three months, three years from now,

and your dad is fed up and you've made no progress, and your mom's in heaven if that happened, you're selling this house. That is where we're headed. That is where we're headed, but we're probably not there today emotionally. You're probably going to have to try some other things first. Did you say 17 or 12 on the car? 17 on the car. And you have another car?

Yeah, we're willing to get rid of the car. We have two other vehicles, one of which we can sell and make some money to pay toward the credit cards. Good, yeah, pay off some of the credit cards and sell the other car. And then let's just list our debts smallest to largest and pay minimum payments on everything but the little one but there's no uh there's no magic pill out there that you can take you can call the credit card companies and yell at them as the power of attorney and you're going to send them a copy of the power attorney or they're not even going to talk to you they're not allowed to um but they might you know lower the interest rate or put some short-term moratorium on it if you work on an aggressive payment plan to clear them.

And you might bribe them. How many different cards are there? You're going to die, but it's about 12. Good. No, that's good because that way you can play them against each other. Right. In other words, I would just not pay somebody that's not cooperative, and the one gives me great deals i'd knock them out fast gotcha punish the ones that don't cooperate so what i like what the consolidation companies do i do it myself yeah but you're not gonna

what they do is stop all payments all right which destroys mom and dad's credit we don't need to do that needlessly um because they can actually pay the bill you get rid of the car payment and you get rid of some of the credit cards off of one fell swoop here selling two vehicles then you know you're you're back in balance again we're going to be on a tight budget beans and rice but so be it right now what's the business loan i was something that my mom took out during covid and like when they're handing out money to everybody and i'm forty five thousand dollars yeah so she took out a ppp loan on a business she didn't know well my dad had a had a business that he just dissolved and sold

did he make any money on the sale no okay you need to dig into this loan and see what it is and see if there's some forgiveness uh on it it might have been a it might be a a ppp and there may be that he might have met the guidelines before he sold the business to have it forgiven okay you need to find out what it is she did there i don't know what she did off top of her head and you don't either yet but i'm gonna i'm gonna paw push pause on that puppy let it sit there a little bit till i dig into and find out what covid crap they did here it's probably a ppp and it might be forgivable depending on what he did with his employees and so forth there's

guidelines on the forgiveness on those things a A vast number of people, though, got stuck with these like this. I was yelling at you, America, not to take these things because I knew I was going to end up with this discussion a year and a half, two years after COVID, and here I sit doing this pretty regularly now. Anyway, that's aside from that. So, yeah, sell the cars, two of them. Don't need much of a car here right now uh list your credit cards smallest to largest begin to use them to beat up on each other uh and and negotiate them go i got 12 i'm

the power of attorney i've got a a mom that's ill and in and out of the hospital i got a dad that's clueless and so what you people are is up a creek You're not going to get paid unless you work with me. And be kind of sassy and smart aleck with them. You don't have to be completely rude, but cop an attitude and a swagger. Go 75% Boston on them. Not full Boston, 75%. Hey, Chad, let me ask you this. You mentioned just offhand that your dad has dumped his entire retirement savings into trying to save this house.

Has this house been a quagmire for a long time? Yeah, we had a significant loss in the family, and we sold the original family home and built this one. And I don't think my family ever stopped and grieved the loss of that loved one like you guys always recommend stop and pause for a year and they did this right afterwards and and never slowed down and it's just caught up with them now so this this house has ghosts in it though right yeah in that regard yeah so might be moving the houses or something you talk about sooner rather than later then i might change my advice.

I don't see a situation where this house doesn't get sold at some point. And so, man, the sooner you get this quagmire just off your dad's neck, man, it just feels like it's been weighing him down for a long, long, long time. Yeah. But it's begun to clean up the mess. He's gotten plenty of cash to live, especially with a paid $400,000 condo. And you're in position to do every bit of that the way you're talking about running this down. He's lucky to have you, man.

Yeah, you're a good man. You've got some work to do there, brother. If we can help further, you call us anytime or call one of our coaches. We'll help you. This is the Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, Brayden and Tristan are with us.

Hey, guys, how are you? Fantastic. Good to have you guys. Where do you all live? Tremont, Utah. Oh, fun. Welcome to Nashville. And how much do y'all live? Tremont, Utah. Oh, fun. Welcome to Nashville. And how much debt have you paid off?

$54,400. Good for you. And how long did that take? Seven and a half months. Good for you. And your range of income? I was about 60 during that time. Cool.

What do y'all do for a living? I work for Dominion Energy, a natural gas company in Utah, a pre-construction rep. I'm an insurance specialist for a group of hospitals. Oh, wow. Okay, cool. What kind of debt was your 54? It was our house. Oh!

You have a page. You're weird. Looking at weird people. How old are you? How old are you guys? I'm 26. 25. Goodness.

You're insane, weird people. That's right. Wow. What's this house worth about 320 of course it is oh my gosh look at you and 100 debt free and everything 100 yep unbelievable okay this is a great story already but tell me how this happened what's your ramsey connection how this whole thing come down yes for sure so uh when i was 19 i got a truck and went thirty thousand dollars in debt for it and i started a new position at a grocery store um one

of my best friends jace uh mentioned uh your name to me because i was talking about the new truck and he said that you can help us get out of debt and so i went looked up your website and youtube and watched all the videos and i found financial Financial Peace University, the take-home kit. So I went and ordered that. And then me and Tristan were dating at the time. And so I thought it would be great to take together. So we started taking that together. He's a real romantic, isn't he?

Right? Hey, I got this financial class we can watch. Fun date night. Oh, yeah. Big time. Your heart started beating so fast. Oh, yeah. Watch it down in the parents' basement.

So, yeah, we took that class together. Once we started taking the class, we didn't really have a financial foundation of what we wanted to do or what we should do for investing, saving. I want to know how to get out of debt. So we started taking those classes. And you went running across the stage and was yelling, get to that intensity, and you got to run. That moment, like, just changed me. It lit a fire up under me, and it hasn't gone out since.

Wow. Same with Trustin, too. So we started working the plan separate. I learned how to budget, do a zero-based budget. Haven't missed one since. Anyways, we got married May of 2016, and I was still in debt with the truck. We were about $21,000, $22,000 left. So we hit the ground running. We knew what we were going to do. We did some mock budgets before we got married. And that December, we paid the truck

off, which was amazing. And then when we were dating and engaged, we made a crazy goal to bring our first child into, we wanted to bring our first child into a paid-for home. It's just something we both felt very strongly about. And so we started working that plan. We got, we paid off the truck, we got our emergency fund fully funded. And then from 2017, the summer of 2017 to October 2021, four years, we had Baby Step 3B. We were just renting. It was cheap rent the whole time. So we stacked up. We paid $173,000 for our down payment.

I'm just looking at you in awe. Who are y'all? I feel like I'm in the Matrix, man. Yeah, I don't know. We were just gazelle intense. We didn't stop. We just kept going. It was a big deal to us.

173 down, and then you knocked the other 54 out. That's correct, yep. Meanwhile, it goes up in value. Yes, it did, big time, yeah. And so fast forward to today. Baby on the way? Baby on the way. girl january 4th all right the story is just like they had a plan or something i i didn't i didn't know what day it

was for most of my 19th year i was 19 and to think man good for you dude thank you so much and what'd you say your your your salary has been this whole time? Right now we're about 110, but during that it was about 60 or so. Wow. You got to make a million dollars a year to pay off your house, man. Yeah, seriously, right? That's what they tell us. How many people told you that everything you were doing wouldn't work?

Oh, so many. So many people. Most people. How do you keep going with everybody telling you you were doing wouldn't work? Oh, like so many. So many people. Most people. How do you keep going with everybody telling you it's not going to work? There's our why right here. Our little girl. Yep. We didn't even know she was coming, but she was our plan the whole time.

Bro, she's never going to know what you went through. No, she's not. She's going to know two parents who just smile a lot. That's right. And crack up when the roof leaks. That's right. And crack up when the roof leaks. That's right. Unbelievable, man.

Man, that's just well done, you guys. Very, very well done. You're a powerful couple. Thank you so much. Very powerful. You are well on your way. You're going to be so wealthy and so generous. And you have truly changed your family tree because you're working at a grocery store at 19 years old,

and a guy says, you paid what for a truck? You need to eat the Ramsey stuff. Yep, that's right. And here we go. We end up with Financial Peace University as our date night. Wow. Hey, man, it keeps kids from making out. That's for sure.

Hey, so, hey, y'all don't come from money? No. Is this new for both of you? Yeah. Or this level of discussion and intentionality? For sure, yes. I'm just watching you two. It looks like this is new.

It's like y'all have created something out of, I mean, y'all took machetes and headed off into the jungle and cut your own new path. That's right. Made it happen. But family proud of you? They cheering you on? Oh, yeah. Yes, for sure.

Yeah, they've got to be standing back going, wow. Yeah, they've been awesome. Yeah, that's good. Good for you. All right, so you're exactly how old again? I'm 26. And 25. Baby January 4th.

Yep. $350,000 paid for house, 100% debt free, making 110, so millionaires by probably 31, if the income doesn't change dramatically up, and it's likely to is the trend in these situations. So it might be 30. And depending on how fast the house goes up, too, that'll affect it. But that's probably 30, 31, somewhere right in there. Look at them.

They're both nodding. You're like, yeah, Dave, it's in our spreadsheet. We know. We kind of already run these numbers,ave we have a spreadsheet at home we know this yeah we know yeah this is uh pretty pretty stinking cool all right what do you tell people the key to be to being here where you are absolutely budgeting you have to budget but um being on the same page with your spouse you can't you can't do it if you're not on the same page you don't have the same goals how many times did you argue about about money about money yeah uh we really haven't had a money fight we really haven't we've

always been on the same page same goal it's made it so much so much easier and it's made our marriage just so much and nothing we don't get in the way of the goal exactly no i want to go on a trip it's you know well we have a goal exactly yep that's right and we can go on a trip anywhere we want to go by god this weekend so what's the first big thing you're gonna do with money now um we already went to hawaii oh good celebrate yeah now we're just saving for our baby. I haven't been to Hawaii yet, man. Oh my gosh. Golly. Hey, listen.

The number of times 18 and 19 and 20 year olds have asked me, what do I need to be doing right now? And over the last few years, my answer has shifted to work like mad because you're going to open your eyes

and be 25, 26, 27. And that 25, 26, 27 year old you're going to open your eyes and be 25, 26, 27 and that 25, 26, 27 year old you is going to be really glad you didn't go to the bar and you took another shift and you didn't buy something stupid and you put some money in savings and y'all are a walking testimony to that. Unbelievable you two.

Thank you so much. You're inspiring me man. An old man. You're inspiring me. I'm grateful for you. You guys are why we come down here and do this. We're so proud of you. Thank you. You're heroes. You're absolute heroes. We got the Live and Give Bundle for you, which is the total money makeover book for you to

give away and inspire someone. Your lives are doing that, but this will help you as well. The Baby Steps Millionaires book, because you are on your way. That's your next chapter for sure. Financial Peace University, one-year membership. Again, you've been through it, so you'll be giving that away, I would imagine. But whatever you want to do, it's the Live and Give Bundle. Enjoy it. Very, very well done.

Brayden and Tristan from Utah. Wow! $54,000 paid off in seven and a half months. That's house and everything. Rockstars. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Yeah! Rockstars count it down let's hear a debt free scream 3 2

1 we're debt free yeah woo woo amazing wow moms and dads

if you got a 16 year old and you could turn them into one of those you're a good parent this is the Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Our scripture of the day, James 1, 12. Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial,

because having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. Viktor Frankl said, But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer. Open phones this hour,

Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host. Brendan is in Madrid, Spain, no less. Hi, Brendan. How are you? I'm doing well. It's an honor to talk with you and John. You too, sir. How can we help? So life's moving a million miles a minute for me recently.

I just got married a few months ago. We bought a house. And then as you pointed out, we're currently on what I would call an extended honeymoon. And that's given us a chance to kind of slow down. We were going through financial peace together. We're flying through the baby steps. Like I said, we just purchased that house and that it meets all the rules of the baby steps. But our goal right now is to pay that off in five years. So at a five year amortization, that would be about $7,500 a month.

But my income is really inconsistent because I'm self-employed. So my question to you is how can we enjoy the hard work that we're, you know, putting into our work right now, but still be, you know, be intentional, you know, but still put those lofty long-term financial goals for ourselves? What does enjoy mean? Well, honestly, right now with the new house, you know, there's a lot that comes with that. I guess the couch comes to mind. Again, we're both pretty young, so we kind of have nothing. Law and lower, we'll need a second car, that kind of stuff. And we're trying to figure out how much can we spend on these? Yes, we can go spend X, Y, and Z,

but we're really focused on this five-year goal. And we don't know, okay, should we put more money towards that above our existing lofty goal? should be is it okay to go get a nicer car and then you say it's changed from uh gazelle intensity to intentional so i'm we're having trouble walking that line not buying accounts couch and sitting on the floor would be gazelle intense that is not intentional yes not buying a second car that is a reasonable used car that you pay cash for would be intense, not intentional. You need to be intentional and do those things within reason. That is baby steps four, five, and six. Baby steps one, two, three, which you talked about are different.

That's intense. You don't go on vacation in Madrid, Spain there, but you do go on vacation in Madrid, Spain for an extended honeymoon when you're on four, five, and six as a part of your overall deal. What is your income going to be next year or this year? This year, since I'm focusing on it full-time, it'll probably be just over $300,000. What do you think it'll be the following year? Well, last year it was $200,000, so I guess at this growth it would be a little over $400,000. What do you think it'll be the following year? Well, last year it was $200,000, so I guess with this growth it would be a little over $400,000 hopefully. Okay, what do you do?

What kind of a business? It was actually just a side hustle I started in college a few years ago, but basically I review bank accounts, budgeting apps, and just help people find the best financial pools. Okay, all right, Good for you. That's wonderful. Okay. I hope you make $400,000. So what I would do is set your household budget, not counting couches and cars and extra payments on the mortgage, just your household budget, to pay the minimum payment and live. What does that take and i'll just just

make up a number for right now okay and have a reasonable life and go out to eat occasionally and you know have a reasonable vacation every so often and so let's just make up a number let's call that a hundred okay and so every month you know you've got the bills paid for a hundred and you pretty much are going to make that money every single month even if you have a down month agreed agreed okay and then what i would do is say beyond that i'm just going to make a list of where the money's going to go in order of priority. So everything above 100 I make this month is going to go to the list. And the list is a list of prioritized spending and saving on other things.

Okay? So, you know, part of the list is you need to be putting your 15% aside for retirement, and that part of your list is increased giving as your income increases. And those need to be near the top, if not the top two, above your living, okay? Then you would put the couch on the list, and you would put the car on the list. And then you would say everything above that, I'm going to throw at the mortgage. And so if you had a $35,000 month, you set aside $8,300 for your $100,000 budget, and you walk down the list with the rest of that $35,000 minus $8,300.

You follow me? Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. And so that month you might put $15,000 minus $8,300. You follow me? Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. And so that month you might put $15,000 on the mortgage. Another month you might make $12,000, and you don't get to extra on the mortgage because the stuff at the top of the list eats it up, the surplus above $100 before then. Just run your little formula like that with a prioritized plan and go down the prioritized list on everything over everything over basic living

expenses and call that 100 it may be 100 it might be 80 when you look at it it might be 110 i don't care but it's not 200 and it's not 40 yeah all right and here's not 40. All right, and here's the second thing I want you to talk about your marriage, okay? When you say the word enjoy, that's a feeling. And one of the things that run into newlyweds is they expect this thing to feel a certain way now that they're married. Okay? I expect it to feel just madly, wildly in love all the time. Sometimes you just got to like, sometimes your stomach hurts, man. And you got gas. Sometimes you just

got to mow the yard. Sometimes someone's got to do the dishes, right? So I don't want you to default to this word enjoyment because that's going to be a target that moves on you. I want you and your wife to sit down together probably once a month for the first year. Let's do it for the first year, right? Where are we? What needs do we have for this month? Let's check in with one another and truly listen to one another. And what we're doing is we're practicing a new communication style as we move forward. Most young couples imagine their life moving forward and their spouse is just going to move into their life and she's imagining the same thing too and then the energy expenditure is you dragging each other back and forth between i

thought she was gonna sit down and watch football with me i thought she was i thought he was gonna always want to help make dinner and and and whatever with me whatever the things are right so once a month check in with one another and let's balance as we go pay 7500 a month on the mortgage and this chick wants a couch ridiculous hey you married terrible she should have been able to i think we can i think we can both agree on that i'm kidding with you but you buy a couch for crying but the but the point is that kind of that check-in goes with building this list right because as you lay those things out, you are defining what you want your money to do together.

Yes. And now we're not trying to make the money do something it's not designed to do. It's not going to give you joy. The joy will be there, and it will give you traction towards some of your goals, and there's a sense of fulfillment in that. But that's different than joy. Right.

I feel like when paying your house off, the joy is freedom. The joy of buying a used car is about 10 minutes long. Right. Yes. But the joy of not having any payments, right, being free, that's underneath the money part. Yeah, and he's driving at that to get the mortgage paid off, and we're both agreed on that. We're both heading that way. So it's a fun thing.

It's a great exercise. So Sharon and I, after 40 years, one of the reasons we have an outstanding marriage is we spend almost as much time planning our time nowadays as we do our money, and we don't make any big decisions without the other one involved in either yeah she doesn't come in and go i'm gonna be gone a week all right now and i don't do that to her either right so um so our calendar um and we sit down and do calendars and she keeps one of those old calendars from walgreens yep the two two oh she's got a month at a glance yep month at a glance it's a 75 year old product. It's a 75-year-old product.

They still make it. Of all the weightlifting I do, Dave, all the workouts. And mine's on the computer, by God, because I'm a high-tech dude. I'm just saying. The most romantic thing I offer my wife is 45 minutes of calendar time each week. There you go. No more exercising for me. You're a regular Romeo.

I am Romeo. That's right. I'm just saying. That puts us out of the Ramsey Show in the books. Thanks, John and James and Drew and Zach and Will and Austin in the booth. I am Dave Ramsey, your host. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace,

and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Dave here. You can find all of our shows with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone. It's the only place to listen to the entire back catalog of episodes. Download the Ramsey Network app in your favorite app store today.