The Ramsey Show - App - How Can I Make Up for My Money Mistakes in Our Marriage? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: July 14, 2022

Dave Ramsey & George Kamel discuss: Do you have to invest in the stock market or is real estate enough? Making up for past money mistakes in a marriage, A spouse who spent $5k without telling her husband first. Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. We help people build wealth, do work they love, and create actual, real, amazing relationships. George Camel, Ramsey Personality, host of The Fine Print on Ramsey Networks, podcast exposing what the fine print taketh away. He's my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Starting off this hour is David in Charlotte. Hi, David. Welcome to The Ramsey Show.

Hey, Dave. So great to talk to you. Appreciate you taking my call. Sure. So I'm 53, and me and my wife have been following your philosophy for many years. We are through all the baby steps. We have our house paid off just as about two years ago. And we actually have another house,

a rental house that's totally paid for. Um, great. So we also, yeah, it's great. It's great. We are very blessed and,

um, I have a great business that I love. Um, here's my question. Um, you know, we have IRAs and Roth IRAs. You know, I say we've been following your philosophy, but the only thing that I can't seem to do is keep money in the stock market.

I have made many mistakes pulling it out, putting it back in, and, you know, it's cost us a lot of money. I have made many mistakes pulling it out, putting it back in. And, you know, it's cost us a lot of money. If I would have just kept it in there, we would have been, you know, we would have had quite a bit more in our IRAs. My question is, like, do I really, you know, mentally, it's just a problem for me to keep it in there. It's been, I want to watch it every day uh multiple times looking at it um question is do i really need to have money in the stock market at this point no i mean you can just buy real estate

if you want to do that and do whatever you want to do there's no there's no uh mandate that you do this but i would challenge you i would challenge you david that i think what you do need to do there's no there's no uh mandate that you do this but i would challenge you david that i think what you do need to do is you do need to learn how to um analyze and assess and learn about an investment and then may be able to make a choice to do that investment or not do that investment okay so you bought this rental property, right? Yes. Do you fret about it? No.

Why? Because it's not something that can go up and down every day. Yes, it is. Well, you're right. I guess it's just different for me. It's a tangible thing. I can see it. I get a rent check every month.

But you also said a minute ago that if you'd left the money in the market, you would have a lot more now. That's true. Okay. So here's the thing. It's always interesting to me. The biggest difference in real estate, uh, in actual fact is that it is tangible that you can walk over there and touch

the bricks and mortar and, you know, you see if there's weeds in the yard or whatever, right? That kind of thing. Um, and that does give us an emotional comfort that is a reasonable observation. Okay.

But what real estate does not do that's different than stock is there is zero guarantees the only reason that we become emotionally comfortable with real estate is because we are more intimately familiar with its history with its track record because we grew up with it we grew up in that neighborhood we've been around that neighborhood 20 years whatever and you just kind of go well houses in that neighborhood go up and even if there's a bump in the road and it went down a little bit i'm not gonna panic because generally houses in that neighborhood have been are worth a lot more than they were 20 years ago and i'm just even though that might have been a weekly or a monthly thing or even an annual thing where it was a little soft or a little bad. No need to panic because I'm good with the long-term track record, right?

I would challenge you that you should be able to do the same thing with the stock market. Now, if you don't want to, I'm not going to be mad at you, but this is an intellectual exercise. In other words, learning something new that you don't know today because if you could internalize the historical data on the stock market by sitting with a smart investor pro and learning and looking at this i've got one mutual fund that's 80 something years old it's only had like 10 or 15 down years out of 80 years it's got a 12.2 average annual return for 80 years that's more safe than your rental house right statistically mathematically right but you got to get that down in your heart so you quit looking at the freaking charts every day i don't look at my mutual funds any more often than i look at my real estate so i'm not i'm not trying to say you're stupid for not doing this if you can't get comfortable

stop doing it okay but i think as a part of your personal growth plan you demanding of yourself that you learn something new would be you just need to study this market a little bit, this market, the stock market thing a little bit more. So if you want to pull it out and say, I'm not going in for three more years, but I am going to meet with my smart investor pro who has the heart of a teacher. And I'm going to get comfortable because of knowledge. My people perish for lack of knowledge, the Bible says. So it's just knowledge gives you calmness yeah on top of the perspective of looking back at the stock market for 40 years and going oh the s and p 500 some serious appreciation there with just a few dips i feel good about this over the

long term so we talk about how the only people that get hurt on the roller coaster are the ones who jump off early and you jumped off early a whole bunch of times, and that hurt, and you don't want to go back on that roller coaster. But like Dave's saying, if you meet with a smart investor pro and they outline all this for you, you're going to go, okay, I feel good about getting that Roth IRA back up and going, investing in good growth stock mutual funds, diversified across four types. We're not talking about single stocks that are super volatile. I agree. Don't do that. But if you're talking about the stock market are super volatile i agree don't do that but

if you're talking about the stock market in general it's a safe bet over the long term yeah so you know here's the thing david if you are 100 going to jump in and out of it stop doing it because you're going to lose money okay just stop stop and go on and do something else you know and go buy some real estate. And there. But I just when I bump into something like that, there's two kinds of fear that we all have, me included. I have fear of things that I should be afraid of. I don't need to touch a hot stove.

I don't need to stand in the middle of the interstate with 18 wheelers coming by. OK, that's a that's a good fear it saves your life because the data that around that fear is that you know if you're not afraid you're gonna get killed okay or burned or whatever right so but the other kind of fear is false evidence appearing real f-e-a-r okay and that is i just don't know yet it's like the first time i i'll never forget i've told this story on the air a hundred times my dad gives me the keys to the car. That was dumber than a rock. I was 12 years old.

So I moved the car around back. Well, it was a long time ago. We had a gravel driveway. So I got in the car, 12 years old, started the car and stepped on the accelerator all the way to the floor. Oh boy. I just about dug a ditch in the driveway with those back tires spinning on that gravel driveway. Because I didn't have any idea what I was doing. And, you know, when you first learn to drive, you're freaking out

because you don't know what you're doing. But now you drive with your knees and people put on their makeup and eat and do calculations and check their Twitter account while they're driving. Dave, I think you still drive like that 12-year-old. You're burning rubber. I've seen you. Well, that boy lives inside of me. I can tell you. Well, that boy lives inside of me. I can tell you that.

Hey, guys. George Campbell here, and I'm so excited to tell you about the newest product from Ramsey. It's called Gazelle, and it's a digital banking experience that will help you spend and save the Ramsey way with banking services provided by Pathword NA. You'll get a single spending account with no monthly fees and it's FDIC insured through Pathword NA. We're offering early access to our beta customers so you can help us make it the best experience it can be. Just go to ramseysolutions.com slash gazelle to sign up my co-host today. Let me ask you a question. When you think of a millionaire, what kind of job do you picture them having?

Is it some kind of high-powered executive position like a VP or CEO? Well, here's the thing. Only 15% of millionaires actually have jobs that are in management positions. The reality is the top five careers for millionaires in America are engineer number one, accountant number two, teacher number three, manager, like we said, number four, and attorney is number five. That's just one of the surprising things our team found when we conducted the largest study of millionaires ever done. We talked to over 10,000 millionaires to find out who they are, how they are, and how they got there.

Our study also made it clear that to become a millionaire, you've got to invest wisely over a period of time, and a big part of that is getting someone in your corner to teach you, not do it for you. My team recommends trustworthy, vetted investing pros from all over the country. We call them SmartVestor pros. To get in touch with a SmartVestor pro in your area, go to RamseySolutions.com slash SmartVestor and start building wealth today. That's RamseySolutions.com slash SmartVestor. Paul is in Cincinnati. Hey, Paul, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave and George, how are you guys doing? Great. How can we help? Just have a question for you. I'm hoping we can speak out of your experience from when

you and Sharon hit bottom. I i'm wondering how do i make it up to my wife for my financial mistakes and wasteful spending from before we started the baby steps well obviously you stop the activity yes sir right um and the? And the more time that elapses from the last time you were stupid, the less she's going to look at it. Okay? Like in my case, you know, 30 years ago, more than 30 years ago, my goodness gracious now, 34 years ago, we filed bankruptcy. Okay? And we lost everything you know so the stuff that i did in that is still inside of our marriage it's still inside of our our psyche it's still in our spirits

but it doesn't affect her she's not nearly as afraid today of me doing that same stupid thing as she was one month after i did it does that make sense right so time 80 is behavior change right sir yeah time is a great healer is what i'm saying uh as long as you don't keep doing it right so uh but we used to you know we used to say the joke and it wasn't really a joke that uh we not only had an emergency fund we had an emergency fund for the emergency fund because sharon was not going to be without money ever again with little kids because she was without money with little kids. And, you know, she was terrified, literally.

It was not just afraid. She was terrified that we were going to be homeless. Our water got cut off. Our electricity got cut off. You know, she was terrified. And we had a brand-new baby named Rachel and a toddler named Denise. And so, yeah, she didn't forget that in a week. Right.

How did you earn back her trust? Not doing it again for a long period of time. Not doing it again. Right. Okay. We're in baby step two right now, and we're throwing like $4,500 per month at our debt on top of our regular payments. And we just started, but today I had to come to my wife again because I remembered another mistake that I made that just hit the credit card bill. Yes, we've cut up the credit card, but I didn't see it until now. That wasn't a

recent mistake it was the it was the discovery of an old mistake you didn't hide it from her you didn't hide it from her and you didn't you didn't run the debt up last week right no okay no sir you just didn't see the bill until you found it the other day and you bring it to your sister. That shouldn't count against you. Okay. And the other thing is this. We quit making decisions by ourselves. Sharon and I did.

Right. We make decisions together. And so we don't spend money or make big financial decisions without both of us being in agreement on that. Now, the definition of big, as our life has gotten big, is different. Okay? But, I mean, if she goes and buys something now that, you know, with our current income, it's a different version of big, right? But we're not going to do something that's going to interfere in our lives or have a weight that we don't discuss it and do it together.

And you guys, you and Wendy have been doing that since you started your relationship. Oh, yeah. I mean, I met her here at Ramsey, so it was easy to be on the same page. But that level of open and honest communication, that's great marriage advice and it's great money advice. And the more honest you are and the less things she's discovering, the better it's going to be for the long term. And like Dave said, as time goes on, there's going to be more trust that is built there, which means there's going to be less of the guilt and shame that you're feeling right now, which it sounds like he's beating himself up over these mistakes. And I want him to look to the future. The more she sees him sacrificing,

wanting to get out of debt, communicating think this will dissipate but yeah and back to the working together thing that you were talking about that's really that's another element of it okay because in our case i made all the decisions i just did everything and sharon was an innocent bystander. It all happened to her. Okay? And so now we do a budget, and if something screws up, it's half her fault because she had a vote. She knew we were doing it. If something goes bad, she does not get an I told you so anymore because we did it together. There's shared ownership. And so she has a sense of it gives her a level of trust because she is involved in the decision making she's speaking into the budget okay rather than it happening to

her and that increased her trust as well so doing so time heals all not repeating the mistakes obviously full disclosure full authenticity uh lots of communication and she now has a vote and so then she doesn't get to gripe if something goes wrong you know because you you we made this decision together it was a dumb idea i know we did it together we're dumb together you know and we've done some stuff since we went bankrupt and we look back on him and go god that was stupid but at least we were together stupid you know it wasn't like I did it and then she can point her finger because she's a genius and I'm an idiot. You know, we can't do that anymore. I'm like, hey, we were fellow idiots in that one.

We're fellow geniuses in the other one, you know. And that's. You share the wins, you share the losses. Yeah, but that is the beauty of the budget. We don't talk about that enough is because a lot of spouses like to stand in the sidelines and throw grenades over on the one working on the budget and trying to get the money done well if you just get that over there straight now they're standing over there on the side and look over the fence and yell about it instead of getting back in the middle of it and actually fixing the lawn chair quarterback exactly exactly it does away with the i told you so or the

grenade throwing from the neighbor's yard or whatever you want to call it. You both are making the decision. These are two grownups. One of you doesn't get to whine and go, my husband won't let me. My wife won't let me. It's time to be a freaking grownup. Sign your name on the same line with everybody else on this budget. We are deciding what we are doing and

it gets rid of all this i'm your daddy i'm your mommy not your husband or wife thing and he doesn't have that the guy calling he's not got any of that he's just trying to recover from the emotions of all the mistakes and like you said the guilt and the shame but powerful part is like financial peace university a byproduct of that is you get on the same page because you have shared language and shared goals. And a lot of couples have that for the first time. Exactly. When they start doing a budget, we have had so many people going through Financial Peace University that says save their marriage. And we're like, dude, it was not a marriage class.

We didn't mean to make a marriage class. It didn't mean to make a marriage class. But we forced them to be in agreement we force them to have both have a vote to have the dignity of speaking into their future as a grown-up instead of being enabled or caretaking or princesses or princes or whatever it is it's whatever the crap goes on in people's dysfunctional marriages right and so we're forcing them to back do this together we're also forcing them to come into agreement on what their fears are and what their dreams are and that will force you to have an awesome marriage yeah and those mistakes it's a part of your story but it doesn't define you your bankruptcy doesn't define you but it's a part of your story no it's how i learned not to be quite as stupid your identity isn't stupid

you've just done some stupid stuff i got a phd inD. in DUMB. I graduated. That's one less than Deloney. You're almost there. This is The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. George Campbell Ramsey personality is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage. Mark and Megan are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Doing pretty well. How are you? Doing great.

Welcome, welcome. Where do you guys live? Charlotte. Charlotte, North Carolina. Good to have you. And how much have you paid off? $362, welcome. Where do you guys live? Charlotte. Charlotte, North Carolina. Good to have you. And how much have you paid off? $362,500. All right.

And how long did this take? Just shy of seven years, so about 82 months. Got it. And your range of income during that seven years? We started around $180,000 and finished last year around $290,000. Excellent. What do you all do for a living um i work for a tech services company and doing business planning and strategy and i'm in banking way to go guys

y'all are killing it so uh this kind of money over seven years i'm gonna guess and say you're weird people and paid off your house we did you got it all right a couple of weirdos. Awesome. That was not a car. Well done, you guys. That's not a car. That's not a Lamborghini. Okay. Great, guys. Good job, man. All right.

Well, tell us your story. How did you decide to do this? How did you get plugged into the Ramsey stuff? Gosh. Well, I think it probably started when I came out of college. I had heard about you through family, so I was kind of always plugged in. And then when Mark and I met and started dating, I think we were always pretty transparent with one another kind of discussing finances and goals and we just knew when we were signing up for a big mortgage that was going to be a big target

for us to hit and just decided let's let's go after it we were very fortunate to enter into our relationship both debt-free and less this mortgage. And so we just, you know, centered all of our forces and tried to fire away at it as quickly as we could. Okay, cool. So Mark, you're in banking. How'd all this come up with you? Through Megan. So as she said, we met and started dating. She always was kind of preaching your books a little bit towards me and she gave me a few to read, which I did, and kind of latched on to them and found just a lot of what I thought was common sense in which you offered. And just the ability to take that debt, wipe it off, and just feel free from it was probably part of our biggest goal.

Part of you had to look at this and go, this guy gets paid for this? I have to admit, we did both come from families that I think had always instilled in us a sense of practicality and common sense. So I think getting to a place of commonality and agreement was kind of encoded in us from just our parents. That's wise. Yeah, very much so. Nothing, I would say, explicit growing up. But we, I think, observed a lot of frugal nature. And I'll call my parents.

It's an unbelievable advantage, though. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You came into this with a real functional view on how all this works. And so when you saw our stuff, you're like, oh, yeah, okay. Makes sense. It did. It gave us good structure.

Did your banker friends think you're weird? I don't tell them anything. Oh, good. I didn't know. They know nothing. Yeah, I like it. Very cool. We'll celebrate with you even if they won't. Appreciate didn't know. They know nothing. Yeah, I like it. Very cool. We'll celebrate with you even if they won't. Appreciate it. Okay, so if

somebody finds out, how old are you guys? I'm 35. And 41. What's this house worth? About $750 to $800. Yeah, it's skyrocketed. $700? $750-ish. $750, okay. And how much in retirement? Oh, gosh.

$650? $650-ish. Okay750, okay. And how much in retirement? Oh, gosh. $650? $650-ish. Yeah. Okay. So you're Baby Steps Millionaires? Yep. You are. You did it.

And you're young ones? You did it early? Well done. Thank you. This works. It works. Yes, it works. Was it easier than you thought or harder than you thought?

I think it was easier simply because we were always in communication and could talk through anything that was challenging. And so the issues where I would want to go faster, which was usually the case, I think Mark would kind of temper that. And I think anything that seemed like a hurdle to overcome was very much tempered by that open line of dialogue and being candid with one another.

So I think it was easier because of a healthy marriage. Look at that. Yes, very much so. And, you know, strong upbringing. Yeah. That's awesome. So we probably had a goal of paying it off in five. We extended a little bit, tried to live in the now, you know, do some house upgrades,

stuff like that, but always make sure we had the money for it versus taking on more debt. Yeah. And we had a couple of kiddos along the way. How many kids have you got? So we currently have three, and number four will be here next month. All right. Exciting. Very good.

Debt-free baby. That's right. That's right. That's fun. How does it feel to not have a payment in the world? Fantastic. It's amazing. Sense of freedom.

Did that catch you off guard more than you thought or less than you thought? I don't know that it's quite sunk in. mean we just paid this off in april and so we're starting to see that compounding effect of the mortgage payment not going out and um and not extra on it right right um and so that's been i think it's starting to settle in and certainly as we are preparing for this um addition to our family I think that's been very comforting. Yeah. I mean, you're sitting on $300,000 a year and no payments. Right.

You've got some margin. Yeah. What's something big you want to do soon? Go overseas. Ah, okay. Overseas. Redo our kitchen. Get a good trip. Get a good trip in.

Yeah. After baby is big enough that you can cut loose. That's right. Absolutely. Very cool. Well, congratulations, John. Thank you. We're very, John. Thank you. We're very, very proud of you.

What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? I would say just common sense. Live within your means. It's not that difficult. He makes it sound so easy. There are people up here going, I worked 65 jobs. I just barely almost died. And he's like, it's just common sense.

Live on less than you make. Not rocket science. That's great. No, we mentioned it earlier. I think the communication was also big, at least from my perspective, just being able to talk through and align on things. Very cool. Great job, guys.

Very proud of you. We've got a copy of Baby Steps Millionaires for you. Thank you. You are one, obviously. And you can give it away if you want and inspire somebody else. And same thing with the book Total Money Makeover and the same thing with a one-year membership to Financial Peace University. We'll get you signed up for all of that.

And as just our way of saying thank you for making the trip over here. Congratulations on the new baby. Thank you. And congrats on being 100% debt-free. Did you bring any of the kiddos with you? We've got two of them here. All right. Cuties.

Oh, here we go. Now we're going to be shy. What are their names and ages? Charlie here for the twins. Oh. And Louie here as well. Charlie and Louie. Charlie and Louie the twins.

Four years old. They're beautiful. Awesome. Shout out to big sister Emmy who's not here. Okay. Didn't make the trip. Didn't make the trip. Good stuff.

All right. Mark and Megan, Charlie and Louie and baby on the way. $363,000 paid off. House and everything. In seven years, Baby Steps Millionaire is making $180,000 to $290,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one.

We're debt-free! Yeah! That is how it's done baby man love it love it love it so proud of you guys very very very well done you know george when we talk about personal finance is 80% behavior, only 20% had knowledge. I often think about when my grandmother was alive, she was in a small town and had grown up in that small town, third generation, and knew everybody. And she would say things like, well, so-and-so's from a good family and i at first i kind of thought when i was a little kid i kind of thought she was talking about like they were wealthy or they were prominent or they were prestigious and she was being like

trying to be stuck up country club or something you know and i as i got to grew as i grew up and got to know her better what she was saying was they were a family of character the family was functional they were a good family it wasn't about money exactly and and but it ends up being about money these two came from a good family to where for them this was just automatic they didn't have to like relearn because they were raised by wolves he deprogrammed they didn't have to they didn't have to they didn't have to be reparented because they weren't parented the first time and so when we talk to you guys all the time about changing your family tree,

it's more than just leaving somebody, you know, your children who are the village idiot with $2 million. It's the idea that you're changing your child so they're not the village idiot. You become the good family. You're changing the DNA of your family and the character. You're changing the behavior and the character and the flow and who they are and how they relate. So that when they get married, they're these two. That's way more powerful than an inheritance. It is.

They're inheriting characters. And then on top of that, throw five or ten million dollars, now you've got world changers. That's changing your family tree. That's a good family. These people are, their mom and dad, both of them. Good people. Impressive. This is the ramsey show Thank you. our scripture of the day proverbs 25 4 remove the dross from silver and a silversmith can produce a vessel theodore rosadale said nothing in this world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain,

and difficulty. Well, that's pleasant, but it's true. Yeah. Teddy understood many, many years ago. So our real estate reality check is tonight a live stream. For those of you listening live or close to live, this is July 14th, Thursday night at 7 p.m. We've got just under 100,000 folks already registered to watch it.

It is a free live stream, the Real Estate Reality Check. We're going to go through. We're actually going to have a little class, classroom time on, you know, what makes up the real estate market, where the actual data lands. And then Rachel Cruz, George Campbell, and I will address this whole subject. And, you know, we're going to address things we've been hearing from you here on the air. And George and Rachel read some of the comments and stuff in their social media. We did it so you didn't have to. I'm not going to read them.

It's not because I'm stuck up or something. It's just I can't put that much negativity in my system and still walk around. But there's a lot of emotion and anger and frustration. And so we're going to address that. We're going to help folks with it tonight. Just go to RamseySolutions.com, and you can sign up for it if you're hearing this in time. I hope you are. And we'll try to make it available for some of you that don't hear it on time.

But I don't know if we'll be able to or not. It is a live stream tonight. We know that at 7 p.m. Central Time, 8 p.m. Eastern Time, and it is 100% free. All right, let's check with Cody in Boise. Hi, Cody. How are you? Good. How are you guys doing?

Better than we deserve. What's up? Good. How are you guys doing? Better than we deserve. What's up? Good. I just, I want to preface this first by like, I feel like I'm almost going behind my wife's back and calling to talk about this. So here we go. Like me and my wife, we've kind of been starting our debt-free journey here the last, I want to say year or so. Been a little bit Davish. We get really good and then kind of fall back, but we fall back together. My wife wants to be a motivational speaker, so she's been really trying to get on that gun. And I want to support her with everything I can.

She came to me a couple days ago saying that she had a phone call with some people from the speaker lab. Said it was a free call just to kind of see where she's going, see what they could do to help her. After the call, she gave me a call and said, don't be mad. I just spent $5,000. Why wouldn't you be mad? Of course you're going to be mad. Because I try to support.

Yeah. Of course you're going to be mad. You I try to support... Yeah. Of course you're going to be mad. You guys were in agreement on what you were doing, and then she just got on there and got sold. Of course you're going to be mad. Why wouldn't you be mad? Well, we don't ever spend even $20, $30 without talking to each other. Yeah, so, I mean, she just bought a freaking car, man.

Yes. So, how, I mean, she just bought a freaking car, man. Yes. So, how did she pay for this? So, like I said, we've been Davis. We've been paying the credit card off. We had the credit card down to $500. Just call them and tell them you're not doing it. She did it in increments. She put, well, I wouldn't say she put $5,000.

She did $900 yesterday. No, just cancel it. Just tell them you're not doing it. I know those guys. Tell them we said to refund them. Do you really? Yeah. They're local guys.

Really? Mm-hmm. I just looked it up. I thought, I recognize that name. And so, yeah, I think if they're reasonable people, you say, hey, listen, we're on the Ramsey plan. We're trying to get a debt. We didn't talk about this. We really can't afford this right now.

And see what they say. There's no promises. You know, they're a business. But I think they might be willing to work with you on this. I don't think they have a choice, to be honest with you. I think you can just cancel the sale. Or you say, I'll talk to the credit card company. We'll have it, you know, refunded that way.

But, yeah, this is, I mean, bigger than this, this is financial inf have it, you know, refunded that way. But yeah, this is, I mean, this bigger than this, this is financial infidelity and we got to get on the same page and there's no more Dave-ish. If we're going to do this thing, you're not going to get any progress if you take one step forward, three steps back. So we have to really go, what's at the root that's causing us to fall back time and time again? Do we really want this? What is our why? Do we have a strong enough why? What is our vision for the family? Why are we trying to get out of debt?

But this is a reset you guys need to have as a couple. Okay. And I get it. I get she has dreams and she wants to be a motivational speaker, but right now we've got to focus on getting out of debt so that we can focus. Dude, I make a lot of money speaking. I've never paid anybody $5,000 to learn how to do it. Yeah, because when she talked to me, she was really excited about it,

and then they gave her these promises of, well, we'll give you this many leads, we'll help you build your website, we'll do this, do that. And a free call just turned into a lot of money. Well, they're great sales people apparently yeah it's okay if the their service is valid you're not in a position to buy their service today you're too broke okay and she's not in a position to spend five thousand dollars to start a small business today you're broke right. Right. And so, you know, so what she needs to do

is continue to work on her craft, continue to grow, continue to get reps. Listen, there's only one thing at the end of the day that causes people to be world-class speakers, and that is, well, two things.

Studying your craft ongoing and reps. Lots of reps. Step up on the stage and talk reps step up on the stage and talk step up on the stage and talk step up on the stage and talk and it's not a class and it's not a website and it's not leads it's reps so class a website leads all that'll work but um you know cody i would this sale needs to be canceled for lots of reasons. One is you can't afford it. Two is she violated your all's trust, and she should be ashamed about that.

Instead of like, don't be mad. You know, yes, I'm mad. You know, you're dadgum right, I'm mad. You know, you 5,000. Listen, man, I'm a multimillionaire. My wife doesn't spend $5,000. I don't spend $5,000 talking to her on something like this. Now, we obviously have transactions at the business here that Sharon's not involved in on a daily basis.

And she's happy for it. But in terms of things that Sharon and I are doing in our personal life, I don't book trips with a personal, hey, I booked a trip for us to go on vacation. I don't go over like a dadgum lead balloon. Yeah, whether you're a millionaire or not, this is a huge financial decision. You just make major decisions together, and you don't throw a grenade over the fence and go, Don't be mad. I'm sorry.

I'm mad. Yeah, you're dadgum right. I'm mad. You know, it just doesn't work that way. It doesn't work that way. So, no, I, and then George is right. The biggest issue at the core of this whole thing is the two of you've got to decide what you're going to be you know there's you've been screwing around with the edges of this thing are you really going to get real and do it or not and get yourself out

of debt and we're not trying to sell you anything we just we just want to sell you on changing your life transforming your life that's one of the beauties of cutting up the credit card and being broke is you don't have a choice you can't go spend five thousand dollars if you wanted to hey there's an idea one you know if there's a debit card and there's not five thousand dollars in the checking account you don't accidentally spend it and go don't be mad you don't have that as an option and that's why it's fun to spend your own money, because you make decisions differently. There it is. Yeah. There's one angle.

But I'll reach out to them myself if I have to, to remedy the situation for Cody. Okay. That's not cool. Wow. George has got pull. I've got so much pull around here, Dave. You have no idea. George knows people.

So, Austin, make sure you get Cody's phone number. Yeah, DM me on Instagram. If they want to cancel the sale, which is what they should do, Big George is going to step in for them. Thank you for calling me big, Dave. It's a first and a last. It's going to happen. It's going to happen.

It's going to happen. He's going to throw his weight around, his considerable girth. 130 pounds getting thrown around, Dave. Be careful. Watch out, world. Oh, boy. Well, Dave, it's almost game time. I'm pumped for this event. In just a few hours, we're doing this thing. It is, man. I out, world. Oh, boy. Well, Dave, it's almost game time.

I'm pumped for this event. In just a few hours, we're doing this thing. It is, man. I'm so excited. The team's been working so hard. We've been working hard on all of our content to make sure that we deliver people what they ask for. And I'll just go ahead and tell you. I'm not going to say anything about it tonight. But, you know, we were walking through looking at the production values and everything earlier

and doing a walkthrough on the whole thing. And the quality of production that Ramsey is putting out these days, I'm so proud of our video team. What this is going to look like on camera. It's beyond 4K. I didn't even know that existed, Dave. It's world class. You'll see the sweat on our brow tonight.

So tune in, ramsaysolutions.com slash reality check. Can't wait for it. There it is. Game on. That puts us out in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Do you love a good day, Brand? Want to see the latest Ramsey Show videos going viral? Check out your favorite moments from the Ramsey Show on YouTube. Go watch and subscribe to the Ramsey Show channel on YouTube.