The Ramsey Show - App - How Can We Help My Alcoholic Brother? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: January 7, 2021

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music
Starting point is 00:00:10 Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios,
Starting point is 00:00:29 it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney. Ramsey personality and best-selling author is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Alban is with us in Chicago. Hey, Alban, how are you? Good, good. How are you guys doing? Better than we deserve.
Starting point is 00:01:03 How can we help? So, good. How are you guys doing? Better than we deserve. How can we help? So I'm 24. Two months ago, I had a net worth about $105,000. My parents wanted to buy a two-flat to rent out, and they came to me and they said, we need $60,000 from you. And I said... We need what from you? $60,000 for the help with the down payment on it. So when you said you had a net worth of $105,000, does that mean you had $100,000 in cash?
Starting point is 00:01:33 Yeah. Okay. All right. And your parents want to borrow 60,000 of it. Yeah. But I looked at them and I said, I don't want to give it to you. What if I give you the 60 grand and then when we're done remodeling and everything I live in the basement which I thought was a good
Starting point is 00:01:51 idea because there's no mortgage to me I'm not paying rent or anything it's a place that I'm going to own later on in life because they're going to leave it to me and now when we were remodeling I kind of stood in the basement I like, I don't think it was a good idea. I don't think I want to live here at all. So what's your question? So now it's like, do I, well, now, because I only got $40,000 left, so I think I want to go and I want to move out to a different place, but it's like, I don't know how to say it i was like um
Starting point is 00:02:30 do i ask for the money back because how old are you again how old are you again? 24. Okay. I think I'm going to throw up. Yeah. I'm so mad at your parents right now I can't breathe. This is so inappropriate and so completely out of control on their part. It's just wrong. Now, I don't know how to get you out of this either off the top of my head,
Starting point is 00:03:08 mechanically or tactically get you out of it because you've already put a down payment on the house. Your name is not even on the house, right? No, it's not. You don't own any of the house. You just gave them money, and you have a handshake agreement that you get to live in the basement that you decide you didn't want to anymore at first i was like you know like this is great you know it's pretty much exactly you know the area everything's great about it there's nothing great about this there's nothing great about parents asking a 24 year old for 60 000 it should be the other way around man and so what was the end goal here was it a mutual investment we're going in on this
Starting point is 00:03:47 together or did they just want 60 grand to do their own thing no no no uh we they already have a rental property and everything so i knew they knew how to do it they knew everything about it well not good enough that they don't have they don't need to borrow money from their child, but go ahead. They're not living in the house. No, we live rent-free because my dad is a residential custodian. So we live rent-free in the building that he takes care of. We? You don't live there. I do. I live with my parents.
Starting point is 00:04:24 I thought you were living in the basement he was about to and i doesn't want to anymore oh correct yeah okay um all right here here's what uh should happen i don't think it's going to but here's what should happen as gently and kindly as you can you should talk to your dad and mom and say this was a huge mistake i need my money back and so we need to put this property on the market after it's renovated so that i can get my money out so i can get on with my life i should not have done this i'm sorry i didn't know any better i'm only 24 and i need my money back out of this house. I don't want to live in the basement. It doesn't make sense.
Starting point is 00:05:09 And so let's please put this house on the market this spring. When they sell the house, they give you your money back, and then you move out and get you an apartment and start your life, young man, and continue saving and buy a home someday for yourself when you're ready. I hope that you can convince them, shame them, or something into selling this property quickly this spring and giving you your money back, and then you need to move out from under their roof. But they're not going to. No. So the next step is going to be it's a really expensive $60,000 lesson for a 24-year-old, right? It's just because he doesn't have any agreement at all.
Starting point is 00:05:49 No. It's a handshake. No. It's a handshake. And there's no exit strategy. There's no promise of when he was going to get his money back ever. Instead, he was supposed to live in the basement in perpetuation in return for $60,000. So the deal sucked.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Yep. We'll leave it to you, though. Don't you sucked. We'll leave it to you, though. Don't you worry. We'll leave it to you someday, son. Yeah. When you're 60, you're going to get this house after you've had your own grandkids. Yeah, it's just...
Starting point is 00:06:17 I hate to tell a 24-year-old you learned a $60,000 lesson. It feels better to say that when they learn a $20,000 truck lesson or something. Yeah, I hope your mom and dad will have enough character to reverse this deal. But I don't have a lot of faith in that because they didn't have enough character to not do the deal in the first place. Right. Oh, that's infuriating. Who does this to their own kid? Right.
Starting point is 00:06:51 I see why some species eat their young. Oh, my God. All right. Cindy is in Asheville, North Carolina. Hi, Cindy. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Thanks, Dave and Dr. Delania. It's a pleasure to speak with you guys sure what's
Starting point is 00:07:06 up um i am going to try and make this as brief and to the point because there's a lot of details um my mother and her husband live in florida and he has been has i'm sorry um thank you he's in denial um and he never created a will despite umpteen pleas to do so um the house is premarital asset so it is paid for and in his name only including the property taxes and it needs a lot of work due to water damage and mold damage from a few years ago. How long have they been married? He's got by eight years, a little over eight years. Why will he not do it well? He can't commit to any type of decision in his life.
Starting point is 00:08:03 That's the nicest way I can put it. It doesn't matter what it is. He has to research it. I don't know if he doesn't want to think about it. I honestly don't know, but my husband's mother died a few years ago, and there was a will, and there was still a lot of problems
Starting point is 00:08:20 because people didn't understand how it was going to be divided. And so it was supposed to be a learning experience for them, but he just, no matter what, would not commit to it. Now that he's given the term... Tell you what, you hold on. We come back from this break. We'll try to get at the bottom of this, see if we can help you.
Starting point is 00:08:40 This is The Dave Ramsey Show. While you're enjoying the present, you can't help but think about your future and your finances. As you explore your options, consider Christian Healthcare Ministries, or CHM, for your health care. Their generous maternity program and budget-friendly monthly programs have been a blessing to members welcoming children into their families. Visit chministries.org slash budget to see if it's right for you. That's chministries.org slash budget. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today here on the air. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Open phones at 888-825-5225 we're talking with cindy
Starting point is 00:09:48 in ashville north carolina she's got a mom down in florida who is married to her stepdad her stepdad's got terminal illness four to six weeks to live won't do a will houses in his name is that a fair summary of what you told us so far that That is correct. He also has several other cars in his name, one that's in both of their names. He's got several retirement accounts, but he's only put her name as beneficiary on one of them. Who's the beneficiary on the others? I have no idea.
Starting point is 00:10:22 I don't even think she knows. Okay. Currently, I believe the current deed still has his deceased wife on it. That doesn't matter. So, yeah, so she's just concerned. What is her rights? Is she going to have a right to live in the house, even though it needs a lot of work, and she believes that his intentions is for the kids to have a house upon her death. But since it's premarital and she's not put any money into it, is she going to have the right to even live there? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:11:03 She needs to contact an estate planning attorney in Florida and learn the law there. In some states, she is a half owner by marriage, and she'll get the other half by marriage without a will. And the kids will have no right to anything ever. It's her house. Okay. In some states. I do not know how Florida works, and Florida has some unusual real estate laws. So I would want to get some legal counsel on that and not listen to some radio dube like me.
Starting point is 00:11:33 It's too important a question. The thing that's bothering me in this is this guy has been for eight years misbehaving towards his wife. Amen. And she's allowed it. I agree. Now he's dying, and it sounds a little bit, a lot mean for her to get all up in his grill, but I think I would. And I actually had an argument with her a little bit because prior to the termination or terminal diagnosis, there was the hope that he would come home,
Starting point is 00:12:18 and we'll get back things in order, we'll get the house in order, and a few days later this this you know but even but even if even if there's not a terminal diagnosis this is her literally her life is sitting right in front of her right there is a chance in four weeks she is on the street homeless and carless and no and moneyless with the exception of one little percent retirement account. If there is a time to sound every alarm there is, get in somebody's face, get loud. As Dave said, this day has been in motion for a decade now, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:55 You know what? If you want me to take care of you while you're dying, you're going to have to take care of me right now. We're about to do a trade, Bubba. Because, I mean, it's that dire, right? Because I'm leaving. Right. Absolutely. But she's not going to do that because she Bubba. Because, I mean, it's that dire, right? Because I'm leaving. Right, absolutely. But she's not going to do that because she's put up with it to this point. You and me and John are the only ones upset about it.
Starting point is 00:13:11 She isn't on the list. Exactly. Exactly. And now she's like, well, I guess I'll really see if he loves me or not. No. She already knows this. She's got an answer for it right in front of him. That's already been answered.
Starting point is 00:13:22 So unless you can get her upset at him enough to do something about this there's not anything you can do i agree yeah and you don't you can't do it he's not gonna listen to you he's not gonna listen to me no he definitely won't there's a there's a small chance he's gonna listen to her no because he won't listen to his own pastors he won't listen to anyone's advice it has to be his his way or the highway well i get that you don't like him but i'm just saying there's only one shot she's got to turn this away i don't like him i don't even know him i i'm mad at him because he took a vow to take care of my amen i agree. I agree. Me too. I'm with it.
Starting point is 00:14:11 But I think the point is that the only one that's going to have an impact on him is your mom, if anybody does. And I give that a low probability. So if I'm in your shoes, I'm just going to pray for your mom. And I'm going to tell mom, when all this becomes completely unraveled, because you're not going to deal with it, I'll try to help you some if I can. But I'm going to be limited on how much i can help right now you should help yourself and that would that would take the form of you getting belligerent loud with your ridiculous husband even though he has a terminal diagnosis right and cindy if she remains passive at the very least she's got to go sit with an attorney and then a state planner and find out at least what the law is at least so she can sleep at night right she at least needs to know if it's not on
Starting point is 00:14:51 the internet not just making it up i think i heard a friend she needs to go sit with a lawyer and find out the a's and b's and c's she may have full rights to the house that's right and she may become the owner of the house and regardless of what he wants but that's she's the only way he can prevent that's have a will but she's still gonna have years of fighting those kids who're gonna come out of the woods one of those houses there may no fight if the law states it then there's no fight it's a mic drop it's over same with the beneficiary on the stinking uh life uh retirement plans there's no fight it's just the money's issued there's no argument it's not there's no legal basis for's just the money's issued. There's no argument.
Starting point is 00:15:25 It's not. There's no legal basis for a fight. There's none whatsoever. And it won't be heard. A judge will throw it out in 20 seconds. So. But people get a will. Get a will.
Starting point is 00:15:35 Get a will. Get a will. I might die. You're going to die. You are going to die. Get a will. And if you're married to somebody. It does not increase your statistical probability of death to get a will.
Starting point is 00:15:43 You're going to die. 100% of you. Get a will. You're going to die, 100% of you. Get a will. Cowardice. And if you're married to somebody who doesn't have a will, you are choosing to put your head in the sand. You're making that decision. I love what you said. Sand's a possibility.
Starting point is 00:15:57 Under water, whatever. Just so you know how it works, in my life, over the holiday holiday break my dad and i had a conversation about his will me and my wife went through ours and redid them we actually did the uh the notary in this office yesterday look at that because you do it every year you have the conversations you have a will because here's the thing you're gonna die to die. Everyone around you is going to die. Done detailed research. Nobody gets out. Zero.
Starting point is 00:16:28 None of them. Jesus and Elijah. That was it. Two. Two. Probability's not good. The rest of you? The rest of you? Ain't going to make it.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Because you don't measure up to those guys. Oh, man. Not a chance. Dave, that gets in my soul, and it just pisses me off, man. Yeah. Well, we're not helping Cindy, because she was already pissed off. I know, Cindy. We could soul, and it just pisses me off, man. Yeah. Well, we're not helping Cindy because she was already pissed off. I know, Cindy. We could join you.
Starting point is 00:16:49 We just did. I'm sorry, Cindy. Turner is in Omaha, Nebraska. Hi, Turner. How are you? I'm good, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve.
Starting point is 00:16:59 What's up? So I've got a little bit of a big picture question for you i guess i um my wife and i inherited a little bit of money about five years ago not a little bit um five years back about 180 000 dollars is what it's at now it's been sitting in investments um the only debt we have is on the home about a hundred thousand dollars of debt left on the home um We bought a business about a year ago, and it's a new franchise, and it's just been exploding. And so I've kind of felt the pressure a little bit to expand. We own the Omaha Territory. We also would like to purchase the Lincoln in the Des Moines Territory as well. And I'm just kind of wondering if um you know if it's wise to
Starting point is 00:17:45 use that investment money to to buy those territories the kind of the other side of it is how much are they you know being uh they're about 35,000 each that'd be 75,000 or 70,000 bucks right okay so what have you made on your franchise in the first year yeah so you know obviously being in the um you know just the first year um it didn't make a whole lot of money obviously we're so why is it we want to expand this well just i think it's the pressure of they so they sold yeah i'm glad they did they're selling a whole bunch of franchises and you're not making any money right now if you were if you told me you made a hundred grand i'd be all excited about
Starting point is 00:18:25 you busting to sell these by these other things but you haven't made any money i'm confused why you're so excited other than they got you excited yeah well i'm i'm confident in i'm not you haven't made any money with it you haven't made any money no i would i wouldn't i mean if you had 700 000 i wouldn't spend 70000 on expanding this until you go make some money. I'd give them $5,000 for a one-year option and see if you can get your dadgum thing running. If you get it running, then maybe. But not a chance. Now, these franchise people can sell, sell, sell.
Starting point is 00:18:59 Sounds like a fancy, fancy Tupperware party. It kind of is, yeah. That's not bad. Pampered chef, maybe. There you go. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. coming up note this coming tuesday night january the 12th at 7 p.m you need to sign up for our free free free free reset live stream event to kickstart your money goals for 2021. I'll be speaking to help you with that.
Starting point is 00:19:51 Chris Hogan, Rachel Cruz, and Pastor Craig Groeschel. We're going to give you the motivation, the guidance, the step-by-step plan you need to hit Reset. After 2020, some of you got your wake-up call. And you want to say goodbye to money stress? You don't want to ever be left in a position again like that. Text the word RESET for the free live stream. Text RESET to 33789. Text RESET to 33789.
Starting point is 00:20:21 Or you can sign up at DaveRamsey.com slash RESET. If you're in the Oklahoma City area, that's where we're going to be doing the event at LifeChurch.TV. Then we have a very, very limited audience due to spacing or social distancing or whatever the crap you call that stuff. Anyway, we're going to be there, and there's some seats for $20. They may be gone by now, but go to DaveRamsey.com slash events if you're in Oklahoma City, and you'd like to come out and watch the event live. We'd love to have you. We will have a small studio audience.
Starting point is 00:20:52 And there's a little over 100,000 already registered for the live stream on Tuesday night, so make sure you get signed up. It might be one of the bigger events of this year. Again, reset, text reset to 33789. On the debt-free stage with a question in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions, Preston is with us from Destin, Florida. Hi, Preston. How are you? Doing good.
Starting point is 00:21:12 How are you guys? Better than we deserve. I understand you've got a question for Dr. John. Yes. So it's in regards to my brother. For the last couple of years, he's gotten progressively worse with alcohol. It's gotten to the point now where we're starting to see some resentment between them. We're starting to see pretty much no affection between him and his wife.
Starting point is 00:21:35 There's just not much there. This past Christmas at movies, they didn't sit together. There was no affection toward each other. I mean, they were just kind of there. You know, we've tried talking to them. I've tried talking to them. My parents have tried talking to them. You know, my grandpa, who was in the same boat, almost lost his marriage due to alcohol when he was young, tried talking to him.
Starting point is 00:21:56 And, I mean, nothing's getting in. You know, nothing is sticking with him. His wife has tried talking to my parents about some situations that have happened. And, I mean, just nothing is working. And we just don't know what else to do when we fear that the marriage is going down the wrong road. Yeah. I'm sorry for you, Preston. How old is he?
Starting point is 00:22:19 It's hard. He's 24. How old are you? 22. Okay. So he's a young guy, huh? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:27 We've been two peas in a pod since birth, and he's not letting me in. I've tried, and he's not really open. So how can I help, man? How else, I guess, what else can we do? We've tried different angles. My mom has tried the, you know, loving mom angle. My dad has kind of tried the tougher dad angle. I've tried the, you know, brother angle.
Starting point is 00:22:55 And, I mean, he's just, nothing's working. He's shutting everyone out. He's shutting his wife out. And it's just not, we don't know what to do. So for some reason, you may know, you may know part of it you may never know he's running from something and he's found something that works in the time being and it's going to cost him everything and there's nothing worse than watching somebody you love just slowly sink right yeah and you got your hand out for them and they just choose to hold tight to that bottle to their heart as you watch them go underwater.
Starting point is 00:23:29 At the end of the day, addiction is a connection disease. I don't even like using the word disease. It's a connection issue. And so I think you've got to find that sweet balance between letting your brother never forget, always know that you love him and you care about him, and that you will go to the ends of the earth for him and at the same time you have to protect your heart you got to protect your family you got to make sure that you don't get suckered into funding his lifestyle right that you don't end up being an enabler and an empower right and so i think you what i've seen effective in these
Starting point is 00:24:04 situations before is you've got to get with somebody that you trust whether it's your mom or dad and your sister-in-law y'all have a hard conversation about a possible intervention, y'all have a hard conversation about what boundaries are going to be and then I would love to see you sit down and write him a letter and here's why that letter's important, it gives him a touchstone
Starting point is 00:24:20 he's going to roll his eyes as soon as you start talking brotherly stuff to him he checks out, right but that letter's going to be something he's got with him and he gets to hold with him. And it's a place for you to be vulnerable and honest with him. Let him know how you feel, but he'll go back to that and go back to that and go back to that. And it may be two months, maybe six months, it may be a year. But eventually he's going to hold onto that thing as an anchor, as a tether back to land. And at the end of the day, man, you've got to protect yourself because you are no good to anybody if you're broke and you're sick
Starting point is 00:24:50 and you can't sleep because you're worried about him. You're not putting your oxygen mask on first. You've got to take care of you. Dave, what do you think? What's the letter say? The letter says, I love you. The letter says, it talks about the history y'all have together. It lets him know that he's, whether he thinks he's untethered at sea, he's anchored into you.
Starting point is 00:25:12 He's anchored into this family. Y'all love him. And that you want to see him come home. And that love is not going to change. How he feels that love might change. But your side of it's not going to change. So you don't say anything about that you're disgusted with his behavior? Oh, absolutely you hold him accountable.
Starting point is 00:25:30 Oh, okay. Yeah. On the back end of letting him know how much you love him, how much he's tethered in, you let him know that the life he's choosing to live. Well, I love you. I hate what you're doing. That's right. And you're hurting yourself.
Starting point is 00:25:40 You're hurting everybody around you. And we want you to come home. And we will be here when you come. Yeah. That's a good idea. And plus, probably, it might take you a little while to craft that letter. And it might help you. It will free you, too.
Starting point is 00:25:56 That's the secret side. I don't tell people. It's going to untether you from the outcome of your brother's situation. Okay? Here's the hard reality. You can't fix him. You can't heal him. you can't fix him you can't heal him you can't solve him the frustrating most frustrating thing as an adult is to uh watch people that you love deeply do incredibly stupid destructive things and there's nothing you can do
Starting point is 00:26:16 about it yeah yeah it's just the most frustrating thing because i mean i've got friends and relatives and i go look just do it. You know, it's like, and they just keep going stupid. You know what I mean? It's just like, oh, my God, you're stupid. And it's just, and he's just, it's just, man, it's so, it's one of the hardest lessons. And I guess we relearn it every day, all of us, that you, the only person you can control is you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:46 And be weary of drawing alliances, drawing his wife into a triangle, right, where she ends up calling you for support and you for help. Be careful about that. Let her know that she needs to get her friends, her counselor, her pastor, right? She's got to do the work on her own. And you are not going to be tethered into all three of them yeah what what you said i don't know it depends it has a low probability really but the it it's except in the movies uh and this idea that under the direction of a good counselor a professionally trained pastor maybe um gather up everybody, grandpa, mom, dad, you, wife,
Starting point is 00:27:27 and y'all one night sit down and as a group just explain to him what this is doing to all you. That's an intervention. But that works better in the movies than it does in the real world. But it does plant a seed. A lot of people bow up. Oh, they'll bow up. And those natural defenses come up, and they come up with rage.
Starting point is 00:27:46 But it plants a seed that, again, when there's going to be moments of lucidity over the next couple of months, couple of years, and they'll remember everybody got in a room and said they loved me. And that will be a lifeline down the road, right? Love you, and you're killing us. That's right. You're killing all of us. And you're killing yourself, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:04 You're killing yourself. This is what your You're killing all of us. And you're killing yourself. Right? Yeah. You're killing yourself. It's just, this is what your drinking is doing to your wife. This is what your drinking is doing to your mom. Right. This is what your drinking is doing to your brother. This is what your drinking is doing to your dad. Right. And you plan all of that and it may take a little while for that to come out. I mean, the magic of that night of him walking out there going, okay, I'll go to AA. Almost none. Right. Yeah, just don't expect that. And you would not do that off of my guidance because I'm not a pro, but I would get a pro in your corner if you were going to do that.
Starting point is 00:28:35 You take care of you too, Preston. He needs a whole well anchored in brother. Yeah. Okay? I love you, and I'm grateful for your heart, man. Yeah, good heart. Good guy. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Our Scripture of the Day, Romans 8, 24 and 25.
Starting point is 00:29:27 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. John Maxwell said, the pessimist complains about the wind, and the optimist expects it to change, and the leader adjusts the sails. There we go. Just lead. Will you say that again?
Starting point is 00:29:52 Because all of us need to hear it. The pessimist complains about the wind, the optimist expects it to change, the leader adjusts the sails. And as we throw it around, as we say it around here, just throw your shoulders back and lead. Please. Leaders that don't know how to lead are not leaders. How's that for deep? How's that for deep? That's the most profound thing I've ever heard.
Starting point is 00:30:23 In 48 hours. I mean, really. We put you in these positions god help us putting up with you politician idiots and then and you know god help you you work for one of these wussified publicly traded companies where they just are sitting around paralyzed and frozen and will not lead. Oh, God. It's so aggravating. Or if you're sitting at home and you won't get a will or you're letting your kids run your house or wherever you are. Vision in your life. Have a vision in your life have a vision in your life have enough have enough care and concern about yourself to bother to lead lead and start with a mirror man
Starting point is 00:31:15 that's it start with a mirror that's it open phones at 888-825-5225 kathleen is in san diego california hi kathleen how are you i'm good how are you better than i deserve how can i help 825-5225. Kathleen is in San Diego, California. Hi, Kathleen. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Better than I deserve. How can I help? So we were toying with the idea of selling our home right now because it's worth a lot more than I ever thought it could be.
Starting point is 00:31:37 But I wanted your opinion on if that was a smart move or not, and then to rent for a little while while we wait to see what the market does. If you're going to stay in the area... We don't want to do long-term, no. Well, I'm not talking about long-term. I'm talking about short-term. If you're going to stay, then you have to believe in the area, and if you believe in the area, then you should own real estate. What if the time frame is like six to 12 months?
Starting point is 00:32:12 Why is it six to 12 months? We're just actively looking to maybe go out of state and exploring some transfer opportunities with careers. Okay. Well, what if they don't come through? I would be very disappointed. And you'd be homeless and homeless that's right yes yeah you would have sold your expensive california house and be living in expensive california rent that is true yeah how much how much of this do you want to leave and there's something psychological about selling your house that feels like that's a couple of you don't have a job you don't have you're trying to make an emotional move before the reality is is setting in is there something else driving this just the
Starting point is 00:32:53 political climate or what a lot of it's the political climate and honestly i never thought i would see this dollar value for our home and so i'm worried that if i wait six months and something huge happens with the market yeah i would have a hard time dealing with that loss of work i guess could have been i see fomo okay where do you want to move uh so we're exploring some other states obviously like the texas tennessee of, I mean, we spent the summer kind of traveling to see, you know, get a feel for those areas and see where we might be comfortable relocating. I think if you're going to put your home on the market, you need to turn the heat up on
Starting point is 00:33:36 the transfer thing to where you activate everything in sight and you're moving in 30 days. Okay. site and you're moving in 30 days okay i think you're kind of exploring uh tinkering with the idea and i wouldn't put my home on the market while you're doing that i think when you move from tinkering with the idea to uh we're moving let's get this transferring gear and let's start talking about it and here's the city we're going to and you need to make some decisions if you're going to put the house a big enough decision put the house on the market because i'm afraid that all of that might unravel and in your renter and all you did was maybe sell the house at the top of the market but you know that's not a a plan if you're going to stay there
Starting point is 00:34:22 that's a good point yeah so i i think i i you know, what you began tinkering with last summer needs to become a thing. Like we're really freaking doing this. And so we're going to put in our applications, and we are moving to X city or Y city, and we're going to, depending on which place we can land with these jobs, and we're going to go, and as soon as you start getting some feedback on that that sounds positive from your jobs, then you put the house on the market. Okay, cool. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:34:53 Thank you. I appreciate you calling in. Open phones at 888-825-5225. I wonder what the census is going to show. I'm really truthfully curious. I'm not being sarcastic because it's bizarre oh that every third person that we meet here or that i know from texas says that there's just this exodus east there there's you cannot find a u-haul truck in california really to move out
Starting point is 00:35:19 wow there's not any just heading out the the the exodus out of that state, and New York as well, has been, and New York City as well, it may take decades to repopulate some of the areas. The workforce is gone. Wow. And I don't know what the numbers are. I mean, anecdotally, we're seeing it everywhere. Yeah. But, I mean, it's got to be in the millions.
Starting point is 00:35:47 It's unbelievable how every person I talk to, where you hear from, California? It's got to be that when we do the Census Bureau that we're going to see that those two states have lost millions with an S of people. So can I ask you this question? You've been in real estate for years. Does this happen every five to ten years? No. No, no, no, not the exodusodus i'm talking about her question about the value of my home i can't imagine it could ever be worth this well california real estate has typically gone through a sick uh a cyclical thing it goes up and bursts yeah every decade or so it bursts okay
Starting point is 00:36:22 and for one reason or another oh eight obviously, obviously, a lot of places burst. Right. But it typically has done that. Okay. But over the scope of your life, it's been a good investment. Okay. You know, but there's been some high points and some low points, and she may be right. She may be catching a high point here because of this exodus.
Starting point is 00:36:40 Right. If everybody's selling and very few are buying ta-da hello we're gonna see prices go down that's that's seventh grade economics right supply demand curve we call it right and so when the supply is very high and the demand is very low prices drop right on anything and um i we have not seen that in california yet the prices have not weakened yet so that's why i don't that's why i'm really kind of intellectually and emotionally curious what the actual numbers are because it feels one way it feels like it's large millions of people but it's not been enough yet to affect the real estate market because real estate market that i've seen has not been soft yet we've not
Starting point is 00:37:22 our elps are not telling our california elps are not telling us california real estate's in trouble wow uh but at some point right it'll have to be right i mean i don't know what the tipping point is uh and maybe certain neighborhoods are affected more than others right you know where they've been particularly draconian on the lockdowns and stuff and people just like screw it i'm out of work yeah i gotta go to work i gotta go feed my family i'm out of here i'm going to freaking nebraska you know or something and they're they're just bailing out and um uh but it it's it is going to reshape the landscape and reshape the economy of the entire nation uh the last time i remembered something this big was the number of people that permanently left new orleans ah yeah with katrina yep they thought they were leaving to
Starting point is 00:38:11 get away from the storm but they just never went back and i was living in houston and i remember yep it it changed the real estate yep mark houston market houston absorbed it we felt we felt it all the way into tennessee uh but and and truthfully joke is, but it's not a joke, it really happened, there are Cajun restaurants all over America right now because of Katrina. Huh. You know? And they really are. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:34 They just never went home. They went to Minneapolis and opened a Cajun restaurant and never went back. London stayed, yep. You know? That's it. So that puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show and the books. Thanks, John. Thank you to the team in the booth.
Starting point is 00:38:45 We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over, but if you heard about an event, product, or service and didn't have a chance to write it down, don't worry. We list everything you've heard about during this episode in the podcast show notes or head to DaveRamsey.com.
Starting point is 00:39:19 Thanks for listening.

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