The Ramsey Show - App - How Can We Help Our Adult Children Buy a House? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: December 23, 2021

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, number one best-selling author, is my co-host today as we answer your questions about your life, your money,

and with Ken being here, particularly your career. That's right, you're thinking about a new job, you're thinking about participating in the Great Resignation, as they're calling it out there. You're thinking about shifting and moving to something with purpose. Ken's new bestseller, Paycheck to Purpose, answers that. And he's here to answer your questions. He does that several hours a day on radio as well,

but joins us here for the three hours of the Ramsey Show today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Mike starts us off this hour in Charlotte. Hey, Mike, how are you? Good. I'm going to be on my last baby step to debt, which is an auto loan that has 0% interest. Good for you. And I'm wondering why I should not.

Well, thank you. I'm wondering why I should not just go ahead and start saving for baby step three and just pay that loan out per its terms for the next 10 months? Considering mathematically it makes no difference. Well, mathematically it does make a difference because we're not talking just about interest rate. We're talking about cash flow. And also we're talking about you completely changing your view and your habits on debt because the shortest distance between where you are and wealth is to do away with and stay away from debt.

And the way you framed the question makes it sound like you think this is still smart. Like you'd do it again. No, no, I would not. Okay, if you wouldn't do it again, then let's get rid of it. Okay, fair enough. It's a mindset shift as much as it is a math equation. Personal finance is 80% behavior. It's only 20 shift as much as it is a math equation. Personal finance is 80% behavior. It's only 20% head knowledge.

And so your cash flow is being eaten up by a freaking car payment. And so what you're doing is you're permanently drawing a line in the sand and saying, that's it. I don't borrow money anymore, particularly for stupid cars. And when you break that cycle in your head, that's when you begin to move forward on things. It's not just what is the interest rate. If interest, you know, if people were doing math all the time, they wouldn't be using credit cards. If they're doing math, they wouldn't have gotten a student loan. Well, I think it is a math issue.

I think you've just seen it the wrong way. The reality is, is whatever that car payment is, let's say it's $350, $400. I think the average car payment is in that range, $400. It's $500. It's now $500. My goodness, it's gone up. Several years ago, I did a video for our company. It was like $450.

Yeah. So you take that number out of that monthly budget, right? You're not paying all of a sudden. It is the math problem in the right way. Now, all of a sudden, we've got some freedom to put that money, or as Rachel says, freedom to spend. It gets that emergency fund juiced and full so much faster, and you never know what could happen to where, oh, well, I've got five more months, and get rid of it now. Part of the math equation is cash flow.

Cash, cash, cash. Yeah. And your most powerful wealth-building tool is your income. Yeah, so eliminate the pain. Don't give your income to someone else, even if it's at 0%. Yeah. Don't do it. Good question, though. Fair question. All right. Leo is with us in Houston, Texas. Hey, Leo, what's up? Hey, Mr. Ramsey. Thanks for taking my call. I appreciate it. And I also appreciate everything you do. I think you all are great. Thank you, sir. How can we help? All right. Long story short, I'm a nurse in the healthcare field.

I've saved a little bit of money here. So I have about, you know, 75,000 saved in my accounts. The thing is, I've got about $60,000 left in student loans. And, you know, I'm like you, you know, I think about paying it off real quick. I want to put a lump down just to, you know, I'm like you, you know, I think about paying it off real quick. I want to put a lump down just to, you know, take care of this loan as much as I can. But I know it sounds kind of, uh, sounds kind of like kind of straightforward question, but with the new administration, uh, coming in, do I have to wait until they make an announcement of like whether or not they're going to relieve some of the student loans? Because they started and do I have to wait until they make an announcement of, like, whether or not they're going to relieve some of the student loans? Because they've started to do it with some of the people in public service.

So I was just kind of wondering what your thoughts are on that, because I'm just sort of sitting here and, you know, kind of trying to play the calculation game. But, you know, just wondering what y'all's advice on that is. Cool. Well, I'm glad you picked nursing. It's a great field to go into. Very well done.

And $60,000 in debt. What's your income? It's about $80,000. Good for you. How old are you? I'm a little bit older. I'm 40, so I got a late start. But, you know, that's okay.

Well, here's the thing. Let's go back on a couple of elements of your question. Number one, the Biden administration has not done any student loan forgiveness at all that was not already on the books. They've not initiated a single thing. They've been in office for 10 months, 11 months, almost 12 months. Okay. And so they've not done anything yet. Now, they've all talked a lot, but welcome to Washington, D.C.

Now, and here's the second thing. Now, you can do whatever you want to do. I mean, you can do whatever you want to do. But what you're asking is you're asking Ken and I. So I'm 61 years old, and I've yet to receive a blessing from Washington, D.C. Either party. Neither President Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Carter. These are all while I was an adult.

Okay? Obama. Who am I leaving out? W. Trump. Second Bush. Trump, Bush, and Bush. I've yet to get a check from any of these people.

You know where I built all of the wealth that we've built? I took control of my own life, and I decided I was going to control my house, not wait on the White House. Yes, sir. And so it's just a philosophy of life. I think those people suck, all of them. And I'm not waiting on any of them i think they're all a tick on the butt of america yeah and they're parasites and i don't think i'm

going to wait on any of them for me to have a high quality life yeah while you're waiting on that wait for pigs to fly i mean it's the same exact scenario think about how much further along you're going to be in your life if you cut that check today? Today. Yeah. I mean, I've got 15 left over. I have like three friends that are politicians at a four, if you count some local people, but at a national level. And and and they're friends of mine. And I appreciate who they are but i ain't waiting on any of them to fix my life leo because you're going to have a long wait yeah if you wait on someone in the white house to fix your

life your life is going to suck so no don't wait on biden to fix your life don't wait on trump to get re-elected to fix your life don't wait on whoever you want to throw in the pie here of disgust. But don't do it. Yeah, and let me take this on practically in 30 seconds, folks. Let me just give you the other side of the story. That's a campaign promise. You might hear it from the other side of the aisle. So Dave and I aren't picking on Biden.

Don't get your hands on that. I'm picking on all of them. I'm an equal opportunity offender. But listen to this. That's a campaign promise. It is not good government business, all right, for them to pay these off. They make too much money off of this. There's state dollars invested in this.

This is one of the most, I mean, slimy, intricate situation, and they're not going to ever do it. There's too many political reasons not to do it. Don't buy the lie, ever. They're never going to do it. I'm just going to lay it out there. I Don't buy the lie. Ever. They're never going to do it. I'm just going to lay it out there. They've done a lot of stuff I never thought they would do, but I'm not sitting around waiting on them to fix my life. I know that. Pay it off,

dude. Fast as you can. Oh, by the way, you borrowed it, too. This is the Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. All over the country are discovering a faith-based and budget-friendly way of meeting health care costs through Christian Health Care Ministries. Christian Health Care Ministries, or CHM, is a nonprofit organization that helps members carry one another's burdens with health care expenses. And they have successfully shared each other's medical bills for nearly 40 years. See if CHM is right for you by visiting chministries.org. CHM is a proud sponsor of Dave Ramsey Live Events. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today.

Rick is with us in Saratoga, New York. Hi, Rick. Welcome to the Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Rick is with us in Saratoga, New York. Hi, Rick. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hey, guys. How are you? Such an honor to be speaking to you. You too. What's up?

So I kind of have a career question for you guys. My wife and I were on Baby Step 2. We have $180,000 in student loan debt. And I'm in the process of working with Proximity Principal. So I have a great mentor and he's kind of helped me get clear on where I want to go and has offered to make some introductions for some informational interviews. And just wanted your advice on this kind of get started phase on the process, you know, how I can put my best foot forward and the mistakes to avoid. Yeah. Well, you know, here I can put my best foot forward and the mistakes to avoid.

Yeah. Well, you know, here's the thing. If you're really, really prepared in the interview process itself, and it seems like you kind of broke up, is he helping you with some of these connections? So you're going into these interviews a little bit warm. Is that what I'm understanding? Yeah. So he's offered to make an introduction to a couple of people. Perfect. Areas that I might want to go into. So here's the deal. You're already way ahead of the rest of the candidates because he's offered to make an introduction to a couple people. Perfect. Areas that I might want to go into. So here's the deal. You're already way ahead of the rest of the candidates because he's got some credibility, obviously, over there.

So they're going to hear good things about you before the interview. So I would keep it simple. This is a very stressed out environment for a lot of people to do an interview. So the key is to prepare, prepare, prepare. They've done some research. I read some research recently that the brain will retain 70% of what's in it even under the most stressful environment. I've got a little phrase that I tell people. Relentless preparation leads to reflexive performance. It's just like these quarterbacks that perform under pressure in the two-minute

drills. They've watched the film. They've practiced the two-minute drill. The plays are going to run over and over and over again. And we've got a free interview guide called How to Win the Interview at KenColeman.com. I'll make sure that Kelly gets it to you. It's absolutely free. And we go through specific questions that we know from research that hiring managers tend to ask. And then I teach you how to ask questions. And this would be the advice I'd give. The most important part of the interview, Rick, how do you put your best foot forward? It's by asking really good questions in the interview. A big mistake that people make is they feel like it's a one-way conversation that you're just answering questions. But there's going to be time for you to be able to return the serve

and asking questions like, what kind of person wins in this organization? What do you love most about the culture here? What's your leadership style? Things like that. We give you more examples in this free guide, but that's how you stand out, Rick, because you look prepared, you look insightful, and you also are showing enthusiasm by asking those kinds of questions. That's how you stand out. Many times by the questions that you ask. Yeah, and, you know, just if you kind of think about it,

it's not like some kind of technique. No. The biggest technique here is to just flip the moccasins for just a second. Walk them out on the other guy's moccasins. Let's pretend you were interviewing someone. Do you want to interview a wet dishrag who only responds yes or no when you ask a question? No, because that's what they're going to be when they work for you is a wet dishrag right and they're they bring no energy no creativity no

add value to the thing so if you're interviewing and you're hiring someone what do you want them to be well i want to see some energy yeah some enthusiasm some uh ability to think on your feet i want a little bit of intelligence here hello yeah and um and and i want to know by the way you're handling yourself that you're there for what you can bring rather than what you can take yes and and so i i love questions i mean i i don't know the techniques and all this stuff they've got all these interview techniques how do you match two how do you match uh three different unmatching socks in the dark and all this BS to try to figure out people's thinking skills or whatever. But I just like to, you know, if you were interviewing someone and you were going to give them your money to work

for you, and it's money that you don't have anymore because you gave it to them, then you want to hear them to say things like, if I were here, how could I add the most value to this company or this organization? And like you said, what are people that work out here that are your best ones, the ones that win? What do they look like and sound like? Yes. And I wonder if I'm one of those. That's right.

And so not like how you know what's your work hours yeah how many holidays do you take off how much time do i get off yeah and you know i'm gonna help you you're already off right yeah thank you we're done with that well this interview is over because all you're trying to figure out is what you can take rather than what you can add and to your point speaking intelligently about the position because you've done your homework on the company, about the product, about the service that they're about, and you know the job description so well that instinctively you're going, well, listen, this is what you're looking for, and I bring these particular talents to the table. I'm a good fit here because of this skill and because of this experience. It's the ability to weave yourself. To your point, Dave, how do you add value? Because

we know from research that the number one thing hiring managers are looking for in the interview is, will this person help me win? Now, that's not selfish. It's just, duh. But that's what they're looking for. And you got to be the candidate. They go, that's who I want to give the ball to because I think they're going to help us win. And that's what it's about. Put me in, coach. I'll leave it all on the field. So preparing to the point that you're not going to have your nerves take over that's where people get tripped up they didn't prepare they kind of go in and they're shooting from the hip so then when they when the anxiety hits and the stress hits then they say something really well the brain can freak

out on you yeah when you say something like like just that that becomes legendarily bad oh yeah you end up on a website interviewing this time this time time, and he said, you'll be one of those guys, right? Yeah, right. So, yeah, that website. Worst interviews I've ever been on. Yeah, it's legendary. And the same thing's true if you are the interviewer. Oh, this is so many leaders blow it on the front end.

They don't do a good job interviewing, and no wonder they get duped. And somebody will just lie right to them. It's an acting job. They don't know who they've hired because they don't prepare. We do a whole lesson on that at Entree Leadership. It's called the intentional interview. You've got to know what you're looking for so you know what to ask. I mean, it's extraordinary.

We don't have time to unpack it, but the amount of lost money through productivity and just replacement costs for small businesses and even large businesses is all about the hiring process. So there's a lot of room for improvement. We at Rancho Solutions, we're working on that. We're diving in. Always, always. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

Kim is in Minneapolis. Hi, Kim. How can we help? Hi. It's so nice to talk to you all. You too. Well, I've got a quick one um i sold a classic car and i have about 23 000 and i don't we don't owe anything except our mortgage and we have about

i'm 58 years old eight hundred thousand dollars in our. So do I put it toward the investments or the house? What do you owe on the home? About $190,000, and it's worth about $560,000. Good for you. Okay. Well, you've done very, very well. Well, we teach folks to be putting 15% of your income away once you're debt-free, other than the home, and have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses.

I'm assuming you've done all of that. Right. And then we say beyond that, make sure kids' college is funded. I'm guessing you've probably done all that. And beyond that, the next goal is to pay off the house. And so I'm leaning into this house as hard as I can. I'm not putting more than 15% of your income away. You've got a nice nest egg. And so you need to into this house as hard as I can. I'm not putting more than 15% of your income away. You've got a nice nest egg.

And so you need to get this house knocked out should be your next big goal. I'm curious. I don't usually get a lady calling me. Now, this is sexist, I know. But I just don't usually get a lady calling me saying she sold her classic car. Usually that's a guy, and he's somewhat sobbing as he's discussing selling his classic car. So what's the story here? Well, the story is that it was my brother's, and my brother passed away.

And it's a 73 Dachshund 240Z, and I have had it since probably 85. Wow. And I love it. And you kept it because you love the car or nostalgia with your brother? Mostly, it is a really cute little car. Yeah. But my brother, but in Minneapolis, driving around in a Datsun 240Z nine months of the year is probably not very doable. Yeah.

And I don't want it in the salt. Yeah, yeah. And so pretty much it's skewed all the time. Yeah, so it kind of used up its usefulness for nostalgia and or enjoyment. Correct. Time to move on and get your $23,000. Look at you. Okay.

Well, thanks for letting me ask that because it might be offensive to ask it, but I was just curious because I didn't see that coming. Did you? I did. I did. There you go. That's cool. Good for you.

Well done, Kim. This is The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions, on the debt-free stage, Jared and Christina are with us. Hey, guys. How are you? Hey, Dave. Hi. Welcome, welcome.

Where do you guys live? Glendale, Arizona. All right. Welcome to Nashville. And all the way over here to do a debt-free scream, how much have you paid off? $168,000 over six years. Six years. Wow. Okay. And your range of income during that time? About $100,000 to $8,000 over six years. Six years. Wow. Okay. And your range

of income during that time? About $100,000 to $130,000. Okay. Cool. Good for you. And even more now. Alright. Good. Good. What do you guys do for a living? I'm an engineer. And I'm a registered dietitian. Oh, wonderful. Okay. Good to have you guys. What kind of debt was the

$168,000? It was our mortgage. You paid off your house looking at weird people right excellent job way to go how old are you two i'm 35 i'm 32 and you have a paid for house we sure do in glendale arizona what's this house worth uh but the market now it's about 450 now i guess i like it that feels good doesn't Wow, look at you weirdos. You guys are awesome, man. Way to go. So you said 35 and... 32. 35 and 32. Wow. That is so cool. Alright, tell me the story. What happened in your 20s? Well, so I have

to poke fun at him for just a second because when we first got married, our church was offering an FPU class. And I was like, hey, I think we should do this. My brother and sister-in-law have followed your plan, and they're a preacher and a teacher. And so I was like, if they can make ends meet following the system, we should do this. And he was like, no. I am not cutting out my credit cards. I don't need to do that.

That's like hokum. But by the time, before we even finished the class. Oh, you did do the class? We did. I convinced him. We did it. And before we even had finished, he actually. You know, Jared, that's the way I would have gone into the class.

Like this guy is some kind of snake oil salesman. This grifter, what's he doing? I would have had my shields, my cynical butt, and I've got this gift of cynicism. I would have been just like you. Pretty much. But he ended up picking up a second job, actually, getting up at like 3 o'clock in the morning to work for FedEx for a couple hours before he went to his big boy job to pay off his student loans.

He went all the way to the dark side. Sure did. How much did you pay off on the student loans? They were just about $19,000. But you just knocked them out fast. Wow. Within a year of that class. Wow.

Wow. Okay, this is so interesting. Okay, so you go to the class. Your brother-in-law and sister-in-law were in there. They're teachers. You're an engineer. I mean, you're good with numbers. Yes, sir.

So that adds to the arrogance of this, obviously. It's what I would have done. It's exactly what I would have done. I don't need this guy. I'm going to pay a guy to tell me how to handle money. That's crazy. That would have been exactly what I would have been saying. All you people out there that make fun of me and say that, I'm just like you.

So that's so fun. So you go really against your will just to please your wife because you love your wife yep and you go in there kind of with your like your arms crossed right yeah that's what now this is me so uh what happened in the class what changed you uh i think you just convinced me that this way was the better way to win with money and not the way i was going so i liked what you presented and i was like let's do this let's save up money and buy a house let's save up money and retire early let's let's live the goals and dreams we want to live he makes that sound too simple yeah yeah because i mean we went from the arms crossed to you just convinced me yeah and i'm gonna get up at three in the

morning i'm gonna work two jobs i'm a morning person yeah okay he's a hard working now yeah you got ethic but you there was drive what drove you to go that intense i mean you you know what i mean you really went quick that's a good question i think it's just seeing what debt really was and understanding that i was owing them that money and I had to pay it every month. And just being able to see freedom and feel freedom, that's what really motivated me. You're a rip the Band-Aid off guy. Yeah. So once he's in, he's all in. Yeah.

I think there was blue face paint, some William Wallace, Braveheart. You got angry at it. Freedom! You got angry. That's passion. That's awesome. That's so cool. good very good so um uh for our listeners sake i am curious for because again i i'm we're poking at this but the uh

the way our minds work is similar what was what happened in there uh for you what what lens were you looking at it through? The spiritual lens, the math lens, the process lens? What was it that when you saw that you went, oh, maybe? And then, yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. I'm curious what happened inside your brain.

I think it's some of both math and spiritual. Math, yes. I hadn't been presented that information like you had presented it to do that. And I didn't understand how practical it was that we could win with money and make that much progress and be where we are today. So I was just kind of floating along and seeing the math that I could do that, I could save up money to pay for my house and pay it off. And that, you know, that really clicked with me. Well, thank you. Thank you for letting me delve into that.

I apologize. Because I know you're the hero of the story, but it's a process that used you to get there. That's so cool. Well done, guys. Well done. All right. Now you've done it. You're not even 40.

You have a half a million dollar house almost paid for. No debt in the whole freaking world and you make 100 to 130 during this time uh what is the secret people want to know to getting out of debt so i told jared that if you ask this i get to answer this question okay good because the secret is i made pennies and i married somebody who didn't make pennies. And so that's the secret. Just marry somebody who can help you. But no, the real secret, I think, is we just were, I think, guided, obviously, by your principles so that we could always be on the same team.

We just knew. We didn't have to ever question what decisions we were going to make or how we were going to make them. We were just on the same page. We just knew the plan. And my answer was to marry a frugal wife. Ah, both of you. Good marriage points answers across the board here.

Made it easier. Yeah. It does help to make more. If you're trying to get out of the hole, the size of your shovel matters. You know, and so, you know, going and doing the FedEx thing and then also being diligent at work and seeing your household income come up over this time and getting those raises and so forth, that makes a big difference. Yeah, I'm just curious. Now you've got the house paid off. You guys are very, very young. What are you dreaming about now?

What has changed now that you you kind of got this final debt out of the way? That changes every day. What I love about it is we have the freedom of options. Yes. So we've been talking about house upgrades or buy a vacation house or, you know, saving more for the kids and everything. It's just we have the freedom to and we're still deciding what we want to do. Oh, dreaming is a lot more fun now. It is. Yeah. It's a lot more real. That's cool.

Way to go, you guys. Well done. Well done. What was the hardest part of the journey for y'all? So I don't know. We're very, very, very blessed. And we really don't feel like there was a super, super hard part of the journey for us because, again, we're naturally

frugal people. We're naturally logical people. So, you know, if we don't want to have debt, then we don't buy things we can't afford. Whoa! I know. Can you run for Congress? Yes. Yeah, so I think there was a lot of things. Like, we obviously were very

diligent and living within our means, but also just very, very fortunate. Well, you brought the kiddos with you. What are their names and ages? Let's get them in the shot here. We have Kinsley, who's eight, Eden, who's five, and the maniacal Meyer, who's almost two. All right. Go, Meyer. I love it.

All right. We got a copy of the Legacy Journey for you. That's the next chapter in your story. You have changed your legacy. Copy the total money makeover for you to give away, and hopefully someone will see the logic in that when you do that for them. So thank you guys so much. We're so proud of you guys.

Absolute rock stars. Heroes. Well done. Look at that great family. Jared, Christina, Kinsley, Eden, and Meyer from Glendale, Arizona. $168,000 paid off in six years, making $100,000 to $130,000. Count it down. House and everything.

Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Love it! Well done, you guys! Very well done. Man. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you for joining us, America.

Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Becky is with us in Prescott, Arizona. Hi, Becky. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Hi, Ken. Good to talk to you, too. You, too. I'm kind of needing your help. I have a daughter who's married and has a little two-year-old, and they both are teachers. She's a stay-at-home online teacher.

He teaches for a small public school. They would like to buy a home, and they really don't have the income to do it. And I would like to help, but I'd like your advice of what are some possibilities for helping them get a home. I know you said don't outright buy it and then have them rent and be tenants because that makes Thanksgiving dinner very strange. But what ideas do you have for helping our kids get into a home if they don't have the funds to get that started? Okay. Well, the first thing is that if you help someone get into a situation that harms them, that by definition is not helping them. And I think that is the core of what you're asking as to how to do this wisely so that they're not harmed. But when you say they can't afford it three times in your question, that scares me a little.

That they just don't make enough to pay the payments we're about to sign them up for? We don't want to do that, right? Right. And I know you say 25% of your take-home should be what is going towards that house. Yeah. So maybe the way you help them is you coach them a little on their careers. Maybe the way you help them is we coach them on their budgeting and get them out of debt. They need to be out of debt and have an emergency fund before they talk about buying a house.

But if they're managing money really well on their modest income and they're out of debt and they have their emergency fund and they just don't have enough down payment and you want to give them $100,000 of your $5 million for them to be able to buy a house as a bigger down payment as a gift, I don't have any issue with that at all. I don't want you to give someone, anyone money who's misbehaving with it because you are not blessing them. No, they're doing actually well.

I put them through FPU. They have been on a budget. They are not in debt. They have their emergency fund. But that leap, especially with real estate, and tell me this, do you think this is the time to buy and one should wait on buying a home? What's your opinion on the timing right now? Well, the market's really hot, obviously. It's white hot.

And it's not a buyer's market. It's a seller's market. But does that mean you can't buy right now? No. But, I mean, you just have to be wise. You've seen these movie scenes, like with an old Jerry Lewis movie, where somebody gets super excited at an auction and loses their mind and bids like seven times what something's worth. That's what some people are doing with houses right now.

And so you don't want to do that. You don't want to lose your mind. And there are people that have lost their minds in this market. And so if you can be calm and wise and walk away from enough deals to find one that is a reasonable purchase in their situation, then again, you can't say no, don't buy in this market. But it's a difficult market to get a reasonable to good buy-in because it is a seller's market without a doubt. So here's the thing.

I had a friend who gave his children the money to pay cash for their first home. After they were behaving with money wisely and were saving, and they were getting ready to just go get a normal mortgage, and he just gave them the money. He's worth hundreds of millions of dollars. He had the money. It wasn't a big deal. And so they bought like an $800,000 house or whatever, and he just bought it and handed it to them.

No strings attached. The only thing he did ask them to do, because he's like you and me, Becky, he's a Financial Peace University person, right? And he said, I just want you to sign a letter swearing you'll never borrow money again. That's all I want you to do. So that my grandkids never go in debt if I give a gift that is this lavish, that we truly have broken the chain mathematically on this family tree. And then he stepped back and was not controlling and didn't interfere in their life, didn't question their vacations or anything else. He just wanted to keep their word what they said they would do.

And that way, that's the last person in his family tree to borrow money and you know those kids those kids were millionaires almost instantaneously as a result because of their net worth yeah i i think that's absolutely the right advice and becky you know uh they're a young couple seems like they're doing all the right things and and the reality is is help them be patient and you yourself need to be patient in this time, you know. And so it's, look, it's going to cool off at some point, even if it doesn't. You have the discipline, like Dave said, to be able to walk away from those deals. And I think you're a great lady with a great heart.

But, you know, every young couple wants to get in a house. And the reality is, is that it's never worth getting in a house but not being able to do what you need to do to take care of it, to be able to fix it up. And I think that's a temptation right now. And sometimes people are making too big of a – rather, too quick of a leap into this. And I'll tell you, you have to be real careful of the tendency for control in these situations. I'll just share with you that, Becky, I think the hardest stage of parenting is when your children are grown

because you can no longer tell them what to do. And you just have, you know, not if you want. Well, you can tell them what to do, but it doesn't work. But I mean, you know, you just have to. My kids, thank God, have not done a bunch of stupid stuff, but I'm of the age that my friends have grown kids that are 35 or 40 years old or 25 years old,

and the kid is off the ranch and doing stupid stuff. And stupid is not illegal. And it is very difficult to have good relational boundaries with your grown children for all of us, me included. I do, but my kids have also been taught well enough about boundaries. When I don't, they step in and remind me. But if you're going to get in a financial transaction like this where you're giving them some money, then you've really got to fight that urge to control,

that urge that does not give you additional rights to speak into their life. You've got to cut bait emotionally, walk away, act like for the rest of your life you didn't give them a dime. That's good. And something else. On that line, Dave, I think you're right about this. You know, a lot of parents, they're still the most influential voice in their adult kid's life. And this young couple's in a good place right now. They don't have debt.

They're on a budget. They are listening to Becky, and that's why. Which is great. But don't put pressure on them that already exist from culture which says you gotta buy a house you gotta buy a house you know and and i think sometimes parents unwittingly uh will steer kids in the wrong direction just because you feel that cultural pressure as well they're in good shape and they've got time they're couple. You know, prior to 1970, for a young married couple to buy a home in their first five years of marriage was highly unusual. Yeah, I think that's a good thing. It was highly unusual.

Only in the last couple generations have we deemed it mandatory. Yeah. You know, you've been married five minutes. What's wrong with you? Yeah. You know, and I'm not saying Becky's doing that. No. There's a thing out there that is that thing.

Yeah. It's very real. And so just be careful with all of it. But it sounds like she's being very wise. I didn't hear anything in there except she's really worried about them being able to afford the payments they're all about to sign up for. Yeah. And you got to be careful with that one for sure. James is with us in Boise, Idaho.

Hi, James. What's up? Hey, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. James is with us in Boise, Idaho. Hi, James. What's up? Hey, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. I'll give you a little bit of context here for a minute. I'll tell you what. Go straight to your question so I don't run out of time.

Okay. Sure thing. So I'm in city government. I'm required to contribute 9% to a public pension plan. On top of that, I do a 457 account. My wife contributes to a 403B. We have a pretty good amount in those two accounts. However, none of them are Roth, obviously.

How old are you? So I'm 31. Okay. And your question is what? Is it advantageous to start a Roth now? Yes. Even though the accounts in those pre-taxes are pretty good amounts in the compounding interest, obviously. Doesn't matter.

I don't want to flip those to a Roth today. I want you to use money that you would have paid on taxes by doing that to pay off your house. But all your future investing should be in a Roth. Roth always beats traditional. Gotcha. It always beats from this point forward, from today forward, everything that you can do in a Roth, do it. But I would not roll the existing accounts to Roth because that's going to trigger a big tax bill that I don't want you to have to pay a big tax bill while you should be doing other stuff with money other than giving it to the government right now. So let's chunk everything we can into the Roth, get that tax-free growth, put yourself in that position.

Good question, sir. Thank you for letting me push you to the point because I knew the top of the hour was coming down on me. Ken Coleman, good hour. Thank you, sir. Very well done. James Childs, Kelly Daniels in the booth. I'm Dave Ramsey Show. This episode is over, but if you heard about an event, product, or service and didn't have a chance to write it down, don't worry.

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