The Ramsey Show - App - How Can We Stay Motivated on the Baby Steps? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: March 17, 2022

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony discuss: Trying to convince others to be smart with their money, Staying motivated on the baby steps, What to do with a large monetary gift, Paying off your house vs. leaving money in the market. Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6

Live Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where dad is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. This is your show, America. It's called the Ramsey Show. We talk about your relationships, your jobs, your mental health, your career, your, oh my goodness gracious, your boundaries, your crazy relatives, and even your money. All of it's right here on The Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Dr. John has a brand new

book out that is on pre-sale, Own Your Past, Change Your Future. You'll want to pick that up and also check out his show that is the fastest growing Ramsey Network podcast right now. It's called the Dr. John Deloney Show, where he deals with all kinds of mental health things. And some of it's just regular folk trying to do a little better, and some of it's crazy stuff. And it's always entertaining, I can tell you that. I love listening to it. So anyway, we're here for you guys today. The phone number is 888-825-5225.

Arnell is with us to start off this hour in West Palm Beach, Florida. Hey, Arnell, what's up? Hi, Dave. Hi, Dr. John. How are you both? Better than we deserve, brother. What's up? Thank you for taking my call. I wanted to get some advice on how we can stay motivated. We have followed the baby steps for a couple years now. We had completed baby step two, baby step three, and we basically fell off the bandwagon over a period of time and now we're back

in baby step two uh from a series of choices that we made and so i just wanted to you know see how we could stay motivated um to stick with it so that we don't end up paying off the debt just to fall right back into it again why were you getting out of debt the first time? Why did it sound like a good idea to you? Yeah, mainly the financial freedom, you know, knowing that our money is for us to use for things for the future instead of paying for things in the past. Why are you getting out of debt this time? Sort of the same thing, but also just kind of practically just to free up some extra money in our monthly budget. Yeah.

You're not going to make it. Nope. Not going to make it. You're going to fall off again. But I can help you. it's not all bad news your your issue is your why why you're doing it isn't big enough why you're doing it right now is it'd be okay and we might be better off and we might get us some more stuff if we had more money instead of like i want to change my family tree.

I want to look in the eyes of my grandchildren someday and tell them I was old man Vanderbilt. I was old man Rockefeller that started this dadgum thing. No one's going to take over this branch of the family tree and take their house ever freaking again. See the difference? Right. Your why is kind of casual right instead

of visceral so you guys need to there has to be a nobility to this i want to change my family tree i want to be outrageously generous it has to be other centered rather than self-centered or you won't stick with it the people that quit drinking that are alcoholics never do it for themselves. They always do it for someone else or something bigger. Same thing. You guys have to come up with a new identity. As our friend James Clear said, you've got to say, not, I'm going to do this. We are a family that doesn't borrow money.

That doesn't borrow money. And the reason we don't borrow money is we don't like being broke and the reason we don't like being broke is we can't be generous and we're not and i don't want to retire and my kids have to take care of me because we know social insecurity is not going to do it there you go i want to be able to when gas prices go to five dollars a gallon i want to be annoyed not crippled I want to be annoyed, not crippled. I want to be like, oh, man, I don't want to wonder, oh, no, how are we going to pay our bills? I want to be able to sleep. I want to be able to breathe.

I want to be able to laugh. You've got to have a much bigger understanding of why you're doing this. Yeah, and if you get a bigger why, you have a better chance of sticking it out. Here's where I've seen this happen. If it's mildly inconvenient, you will keep smoking. Oh, yeah.

If it's just annoying or you just stink a little bit. My wife doesn't like my breath. That's not enough. She's not kissing anyway. Hey, here's the thing. Y'all go out and paint a picture of what this could look like and work backwards. Yeah, a big, beautiful picture. Right.

In great detail. High-definition picture. Not vague, you know, past pastels i'm talking where is the house i want to see the beads of sweat on the forehead when we're at the beach where are the kids going to school how much money are you giving away on a wednesday night just to be super generous like what what does it look like how would it feel to walk over and buy a single mom a car for $2,000 and not notice? How would it feel to pay for the adoption of a kid coming out of foster care so that that adoptive family could afford to do it and that kid's life is changing, that family is changing, and you get to stand back and cause that to happen?

Right. Outrageous generosity. You've got to have stuff like that in your head, man, because it's just like, it'd be good not to have payments. It just won do it man it's a true statement it would be good not to have payments but you need a as simon sinek says start with why salesmen know that trick like i probably shouldn't buy it they know that trick it's really hard to hit your head up against no this is not who i am yeah that you can't sell over that ramses don't borrow money yeah ramses are always generous yeah it's just ramses are you know you fill in the blank

this is who we are and you know i told my my daughters growing up when they were little i said ramsay girls are smart and pretty yeah and when they're grown women at their rehearsal dinner their dad looks across and i said what's a ramsey girl and she's still smart and pretty you can ask her today and she's 35 years old you can ask her what a ramsey girl is and neither one of them are ramsey girls anymore that's right they're now cruising whittemores right all right so help me with this dave let's turn the tables help me with my parenting and mental health so the other day i walk out the door and i tell my daughter who's six good morning baby and i kissed her on the head and she lost it all you ever tell me is that i'm brilliant and beautiful

and strong i can't take it anymore i don't want to hear anymore and i was like all right i told sheila all right mr phd you know what that is She's wanting you to say it more. I told Sheila. I said, I didn't have this class in grad school. I don't know what to say to this. What, mean seven-year-old? She said the other day, she goes, you don't have to keep saying it, Dad. Yes, you do. And I said, I must say it every day of your life.

I want you to just be so sick of me saying this. You're going to have to be married to that guy for 20 years. What will happen is when some 16-year-old or 17-year-old little predator comes into her life, she's going to remember that she's a precious child of God and she's special, and she's going to be looking at him going, you've got to be kidding me. Yes. It won't even occur to her that she's a victim of some guy like that. You've got to be kidding me. Or she's going to run up against a math test and think

I can't do this. She's going to go, nope. I'm smart. And I'm pretty. I'm brilliant. I can do this. Somebody's going to say you have a weird face and she's going to say no, I'm beautiful. You apparently have eye trouble because my dad said that I was smart and pretty.

And his mustache is bigger than your gross stringy 16 yearyear-old mustache. Gross. No such thing. There is. No such thing as a 15-year-old mustache. This is the important than ever. While some circumstances can't be controlled, there are items within your budget you can take charge of,

such as your health care costs. For nearly 40 years, Christian Health Care Ministries, or CHM, has provided a budget-friendly means of sharing for medical bills when our members need it. Learn more by visiting chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget.'s chministries.org budget. Christian Healthcare Ministries is a Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225.

Last week, we launched the first stop on our Building Wealth live tour. The response has been incredible. It is almost sold out already. If you haven't heard, we're taking the Building Wealth live event on the road this year, doing a couple of events this spring and four more in the fall. Building Wealth is a hot topic right now. Everybody's got an opinion on how to get rich quick, how crypto or single stocks or zero down real estate or beanie babies or whatever it is is the only way to do it. We've talked about all these topics on our sold out event back in January.

The content was very popular. So we said, let's do it again and again and again. The energy in the room was amazing. Our first stop on the building wealth tour is going to be orlando florida get ready me rachel cruz george camel will do the building wealth event again dr john deloney and ken coleman are coming with us we're all going to be signing books dr deloney and ken will be doing side sessions as well uh this is may the 19th orlando it is not yet sold out but it is approaching it quickly if you're not in orlando stay tuned we're going to be announcing more cities and dates really really soon tickets start

at just 25 or you can get a four pack for 60 which means for 60 bucks the cost of a couple of pizzas you can bring some friends with you that's a deal this is these tickets are ridiculously low but we're just excited to get back out into the marketplace start seeing human beings in a room together oh so good oh man time to do it time to get fired up time to change things ramsey solutions.com slash events ramsey solutions.com slash events sean's in in Los Angeles. Hi, Sean. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Dr. John, thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So I have been and baby stepped to aggressively paying off the only debt that I have, which is student loans, for the last three months.

Good. And I have been in the, just recently, I was approached by a really good friend and a member of my church who they felt impressed by the Lord to gift me a large sum of money towards the student loan debt. And it's something I've been praying for privately to the Lord for many, many years now, and the provision is coming. And so my question is, with this large sum of money, well, I want to make sure that both this person and I are both being wise with it, handling it legally, wisely, and if we can, avoid any potential taxes that may come from that. What is the amount of money? The amount of money is $15,000, and evidently I'm learning that there might be more coming.

Okay. Well, he can do $15,000 individual to individual in a calendar year without any gift tax and without any taxes at all. Okay. If it's more than that, if he's married, his wife could give another $15,000. How much is your student loan debt? I have about $60,000 left. Okay.

So you are praying and asking God to help you pay off the student loans. He sends $15,000. What's the question? I just want to make sure that we are playing this wisely with taxes and doing it legally because I want to make sure that person is protected from any horrendous taxes that may come from a gift tax and make sure that maybe I'm not getting taxed up the water at all. You have no taxes. He has no taxes if it's 15. If it's more than that, he needs to be after the calendar year ends.

Or is he married? This person is single. Okay. Then he's either going to have gift tax on it if it's more than that, or he's going to wait until the first of the year. Or he can seek a tax professional's advice. There's a thing called the Unified Estate Tax Credit. If his estate is under $20 million, he can give up some of his federal exemption for estate taxes and avoid the gift tax that way.

That does require a one-page form to be filed on anything over $15,000. And he permanently loses part of his federal estate deduction that is not as susceptible to federal estate tax but if his if his um net worth is under 20 million dollars then it's a non-issue and here's another thing to think through sean um this person's a grown-up making grown-up decisions and if they're grown-up decision to give you 25 000 means they to pay some taxes. I'm guessing if they're in a position to write you a check for $25,000, they're in a position to pay the tax on that, whatever. Or in a position to get some tax advice.

Yeah, so don't go... It's not your responsibility. Yeah, don't beat yourself up. Take the gift and then don't use it for anything other than paying off your student loans. Yeah, because that's exactly what you prayed for. And if you got it and then you gave something else with it, then you'd be like, God's be going what yeah you know so that's

like struck by lightning kind of stuff i don't think that's how that works but probably not feels fun in my head i'll strike you with lightning oh whoa and you have that power do you greg is in boston hey greg what's up hey guys how you doing What's up, man? I'll give you the dirt and you tell me what you think. So I'm just trying to get a sense of whether I should simply take money out of the market, pay off the mortgage, which is my only debt, or keep it in the market. And I'll just give you the stats and I'll just listen from there. How much do you own your home? So I own $330,000.

The house is worth $550,000. What do you owe on your home? So I owe $330,000. The house is worth $550,000. What do you owe on, what do you have in the market? Just shy of $600,000 in the market. Is that in a retirement account or just open? Yes. It is in a retirement account? Retirement and IRAs. Everything designated for retirement savings.

How old are you? 58. Okay. No, I would not i would not take it i would not take it out of an ira or retirement account at 58 years old because you're going to pay a 10 penalty plus your tax rate on it so about half of that about 300 000 of that is in a retirement account the other is liquid in a mortgage account oh Oh, I misunderstood you. I thought you said it was in a retirement account. My bank. Okay.

So you got $300,000 that's not in a retirement account, and you owe $300,000 on your house. Correct. Pay it off today. Interesting. All right. Okay. You want to know why I did that? I will gladly take your time.

Yeah. Okay. Here's why I did that, because the why is important because that way you make the same decision. You don't do stuff because Dave Ramsey said do it. You do it because you understand why. So not because I'm scared of Biden or all the other crap and the stock market's going crazy and the inflation, all this stuff. It's not that at all. I would have given you the exact same advice five years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, because we know

from data that we have collected on millionaires that the shortest distance between where you are right now and a multimillion-dollar net worth is to become 100% debt-free, because it lowers risk and increases cash flow. So, many millions we studied 10 we studied 10 000 millionaires and the vast majority of them that got their first one to five million dollars of net worth which you don't quite yet have but you're well on your way you've done a really good job um had a paid off home and a beefy 401k and a roth ira and good growth stock mutual fund so a lot of them had like a million and a beefy 401k and a Roth IRA and good growth stock mutual fund. So a lot of them had like a million and a half dollar net worth,

a paid off $600,000 home and seven, 800,000 bucks in their 401k. And it took them, you know, 15 years or so to get those two goals accomplished. And that's the, the standard template model of a millionaire that we have studied and found to be true. And so given that, we know that if you don't have a house mortgage, you make different decisions in your career.

You have a tendency to make more money. If you don't have a house mortgage, you have more money because you don't have house payment to put into and fund your investments. And your investments grow faster and faster and faster and faster and faster. So the whole thing, the lowered risk and the increased cash flow, causes the wealth to blow up. And that's why I said to do that, and it's why I didn't even hesitate. And again, it has absolutely nothing to do with the current condition of the stock market, the geopolitical climate, the crazy butt inflation. I just filled up my truck, and holy hundred dollars. I mean, it's just unbelievable. I just filled up my truck and holy hundred dollars. I mean, it's just unbelievable.

I get it. I understand a lot of you are afraid and you're freaking out. Don't make financial decisions based on freak out. Make financial decisions based on principles that work in good times and in bad times. This is the Ramsey Show. Thank you. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions. On the debt-free stage, Naaman and Gabrielle are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? We're doing well, Dave.

How are you doing? Better than we deserve. Brother, guys, how are you? We're doing well, Dave. How are you doing? Better than we deserve. Brother, welcome. So good to have you. So how much debt did you two pay off? We paid off $75,358. I love it.

How long did this take you? 10 months and 18 days. Oh, there we go. And your range of income during that time? Back then, we were making about $58,000 to then $90,000. That's a nice jump in a year. Way to go. So where do y'all live? Venice, Florida. Oh yeah, cool. What do you do for a living?

I'm a machinist. I'm a CNC machinist. I'm a nurse. Alright, so why'd this income double? What'd you do? I graduated. She got a job! I like it! Way to go! That's awesome! Time, Gabriel. That's fantastic. That's so time, Gabriel. That's fantastic.

That's so cool. Good for y'all. How long have you been married? Just over one year. Yeah. Cool. How old are you? 21.

22. And so what kind of debt was this $75,000? All student loans. Yep. Got rid of Sally Mae. Yep. Okay. So I have to know how in the world is somebody 21 years old, 22 years old, this brilliant,

that you decide the first order of business as newlyweds is to get really Sally Mae, because we really don't want a roommate since we just got married. We wanted to set up our future for our future family and changing our family tree. Yeah, but when I was 21, my future was about, look how big this truck is. How did you guys decide? He does want a Tesla. Yeah, that's fair.

He wants one, but he didn't get one. He got it at a Sally Mae. Exactly. So, yeah, what got you in this journey? What in the world? How did you know to do this? How did you get connected to us? So I kind of just found you guys on YouTube.

It was probably about a year and a half two years into our relationship and I was getting ready I graduated high school and I knew that this was going to be serious and I was wanting to spend the rest of my life with her and I wanted to be able to support our family

and be able to be the better leader of our household and so I wanted to learn about finances, and so I went onto YouTube and I found your videos, and I just got into it and just watched nonstop videos. And she was hearing me talk about it, saying I'm listening to some crazy guy on YouTube. Was he driving you crazy, Gabrielle?

A little bit, but I thought he was obsessed, and then I started listening too, and I just agreed with everything. So we started listening together and just jumped right on board. He started saving when you started working as soon as you graduated. I've always been a saver, and so I was able to, thankfully, thank the Lord, I was able to save so much and cash flow our wedding and then have some savings to pile in to when we get married. We both had savings we could throw at it.

Way to go, you guys. You're amazing. You are an amazing power couple at 21, 22 years old. Very well done. I'm curious, Naaman. I actually just recorded a podcast yesterday with my buddy Mike Rowe who does Dirty Jobs, and he's a big proponent, as I am, of people considering going into a trade. So we've got a nurse with a ton of education, and we've got you coming out of high school, and you go straight into a trade, and you're making bank in the trade.

You're doing very, very well. What made you decide to go that route? So I had a neighbor down the street that I was doing yard work for on summers, you know, and I told him I wanted to go and get my mechanical engineering degree. And he said, you know, you should probably go and learn how things are made and, you know, learn how to make things with your hands and, you know, know the engineering behind how things are made. And so I looked into it and it was just a year-long course at a technical college. And right when I graduated, I was placed into a job,

and I was blessed. So is your future goal to ultimately go back and get a mechanical engineering degree? Yes, yes, I would like to do that. You will be the best mechanical engineer because you actually know how crap works. It's not theory. Wow.

Your neighbor's a genius. That's a wise neighbor. Yeah. not theory. Wow. Your neighbor's a genius. That's a wise neighbor. Yeah. Very cool. Wow, wow. Who were your biggest cheerleaders as you guys were doing this? I'd say each other. And at work, I worked as a CNA before while I was doing school.

And when I started as a nurse, I took all the overtime that I could. And people were asking, why are you working so much? What are you doing? What are you saving up for? And I told them, you know, we were saving up to pay off all our debt. And people were asking how we were doing it. And they just saw that we were different. And so people would start coming up to me and being like, oh, I paid off my car.

I'm signing up for six shifts this week. And it was just really motivating to hear. And people started listening to, or some of the girls at work started listening to the show at work. And all for their own reasons. But it was just really motivating to hear, like, oh, I did this. They're just seeing that we're different. And we listen to your guys' show, you know, every day. And so we had motivation from other people doing their deaf-free screams.

And that was really what kept us going. But a 21-year-old and a 22-year-old, y'all are the youngest people in your work area by a decade. Y'all were a little bitty light that blew everybody open. In the darkness, people could suddenly see a whole new path. Y'all are changing a bunch of family trees. That's fantastic. All because you stumbled onto YouTube onto youtube man who would have thunk it yeah that's amazing yeah i love it you guys are something i always tell people don't don't

follow what you hear on youtube i'm wrong way to go man with the exception of the ramsey show this is actually information you can count on. Yeah, good. Very good. So what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? You did it. You're actual professionals. I say just dreaming together. We had a vision and we knew what we wanted to work towards and that we wanted to start having kids sooner rather than later and get a house. So we made a clear path. And just like we were newly married, so it was hard. So sacrificing time, we wanted to spend all the time we could together. So we just had to be intentional about just when we did have days off,

just sitting down, talking to each other, and still making sure we had the same vision. And I was learning that it was all about the more you can sacrifice sitting down talking to each other and still making sure we had the same vision and um and i was learning that you know it was all about you know the more you can sacrifice in the short term it compounds and it's just beneficial in the long term you know um when i was when we were doing our debt-free journey um i was constantly listening to total money makeover while i was working the audiobook and three or four times it's probably seven or eight times. Oh, yeah. Just better than I do.

And, you know, and some reason I wasn't understanding the point of getting rid of all non-retirement, you know, and I had my beloved Tesla stock that I had purchased, and it grew, and I really loved that. And it came down close to the end, and I'm like, I want to get out of this debt. You know, I want to move up the bar. You know, we thought we were going to get done in January.

Then we said December. Then we said November, you know. And so I sold out all that because I know that it's more beneficial for our future. Yeah, when he told me that, I was like, I had to clean out my ears. I was like, did you really? Who? What? You did what?

So how much beloved Tesla stock did you have? How many dollars worth? It was $5,000. All right. Look at you. That's a big jump. And he wants a Tesla, too. So he's told it's only bought in.

He's a big Elon Musk guy, I'm just saying. Way to go, guys. Very fun. Very fun. Well, we're incredibly proud of you. You are an impressive, impressive young couple. You give old geezers like me hope that there's future with people like you guys running around so well done we got a copy of baby steps millionaires for you that's the next chapter in your story for sure you'll be there

before you know it and that tesla's on the way you're gonna get you in if that's what you want anyway and uh also a copy of total money makeover uh make sure you get one to get that and maybe one of your buddies who's just getting started on this stuff you can give it away to them so good stuff good stuff you guys are amazing very very impressive namen and gabrielle and our gate is it gabrielle gabrielle good in sarasota florida seventy five thousand dollars paid off in 10 months making 58 to 90 21 and 22 years old. Shut up. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one.

We're debt-free! Yeah! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! So if you're listening or watching today and you have $80,000 in student loan debt, that was for you. That says that this can be done. One year. And you should do it. Ten months, baby.

Game on. But you sell the beloved dot, dot, dot, fill in the blank. This is the Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Robertson, Chicago. Hi, Robert. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave. Happy St. Patrick's Day. How are you today? Better than I deserve, sir. What's up in your world? Good. So the basis of my question relates to the funds that should be in a custodial account for my son.

I know you mentioned in past videos I've seen where when you purchase your real estate, you pay it in cash, but you have like a S&P 500 fund that you just stock away money, And then when you're ready to purchase something, you just take your money out and pay cash for it. So currently, and my son's one year old, one years old, by the way. But right now, I just have a single S&P 500 fund. So any money that comes in from gifts and things like that. I just put it towards that fund. So I'm not sure if that fund's fine for them or if I should, you know, break it down to four separate funds like you recommend for, you know, retirement accounts. Oh, that's fine.

I'll just leave it in that. I mean, if it gets to be $500,000 or something, you may want to move it around, but I don't think it will. I mean, if it ends up being $100, 100 grand it'll be a great day right right yeah because uh it's gonna be there for him until he turns 21 minutes you know his money but you know just to make sure you know i just wasn't too sure when i was buying the same fund yesterday and you know putting a good amount of money towards it so that's why i was curious yeah i wouldn't worry about it if it gets to where it's large enough that you start to feel uncomfortable diversification is safety and the only reason to move it into to diversify the funds is to make it a little safer

a little calmer but s&p is pretty stinking calm it's going to follow the market be as wild as the market's going to be um so you know but that over a long period, over a 20-year period of time, that's a fairly calm. It's not a high-risk investment. I mean, you're not buying gold. You're not buying oil futures. You're not buying Bitcoin. You're not buying lotto tickets. You know, this is a conservative investment in the realm of investing.

So I think you're just fine there. I also would make sure, though, that your funding is 529 for his education as well. That is more important or at least equally important as this. And so we always talk about the fact that 529 grows tax-free. So it doesn't matter what funds you've got in it. You can put it in four, you can put it in one, you can put it in four you can put it in one you can put it in whatever um but yeah the the the you know uh uniform utma account a uniform transfer to minors account is what you've got which anytime you open an account for a child that's under 21 years old it's it is in your name it's in the kid's name and you're the custodian and that's a UTMA, Uniform Transfer to Minors Act. So any of you parents, if you've opened your kid a checking account or a savings account at the bank or anything like that, that's

what it all falls under is that piece of the law. And it will be taxed at the kid's rate if the kid has any taxes, and they usually don't because there's usually not enough money in there that it makes enough money to to activate taxation and thank you for being a dad robert who is thinking about their kid yeah most parents get the 20 in the mail and they just stick it in their wallet or in their purse and you're thinking way down the road good for you man yeah that's good really good stuff really really excellent all right tanya is with us tanya is in new york city hi tanya how are you hi dave hi john been listening to you guys since may 2020 thank the pandemic um i'm currently yes i'm currently on baby steps 2 um with a student loan, $6,000 and car lease. I know, don't hate me, save $6,000. I bring home $6,500 a month. My car lease ends February 2023. I have a baby step three question.

What do I do first? Do I save for the three to six emergency fund or save for my next car three to six emergency fund okay okay the car the car upgrades and couches and home purchases and vacations and all those things are fine after you have an emergency fund in place but if you do those things without an emergency fund in place but if you do those things without an emergency fund in place you are inviting an emergency 100 you'll have it yeah you're just kind of like looking at the rain clouds going rain on me taking all of your precious things in the yard and saying you won't rain on me do it do it yeah let's just make sure you finish the, you know.

And so we stay gazelle intense until we get through baby step three. $1,000 in the bank is one. Be debt free, but the house is baby step two. Emergency fund of three to six months of expenses. That's the foundation that you build your life on financially. And so you stay very intense, very focused. Don't buy anything until you get those three things done. When you've got those things done, then you save up and you get a better couch,

you get a better car, you get a better house, you get a better whatever it is. And you're paying cash for the move up and all of that, of course, so we don't go back into debt. But that's exactly how that you move from intensity to intentionality at that point. I love that. And, Dave, just as you said that, I think there's got to be people in other parts of the world, as people are taking notes, like, what now, what now? Okay, pay everything off and then have some savings? Okay, got it.

That we think, wow, we are building rockets in here. We are building rockets in here. We are building rockets in here. Josie is with us in Cincinnati. Hi, Josie. What's up? Hi, Dave. Hi, John. It's great to talk to you guys. I've been listening for a long time.

Good. Thank you. So, yeah. John, this question might be more directed towards you. So me and my husband have just recently in the last year gotten out of debt. And I guess the thing I'm struggling with is how do I talk to my parents about doing the same thing? I have talked to them about it previously. I come from a big family, and so my parents have always worked really hard to provide for our family and to keep food on the table,

keep the lights on, but I think that's about all they've been able to do. And now that I'm older and I see what this feels like, this freedom, and, like, I want this for them. And I try to talk to them about it. You're newly sober, and you want everybody to stop having a glass of wine because it feels so great, right? Yeah. Or you just discovered the keto diet. Now you want everyone to just went fully vegan.

Like, you are debt-free, and you are sleeping like you haven't slept your marriage is good um sex and money are two conversations you can't have with your parents about their sex and their money and so what i did one year for my family years ago is i this is back in the olden days i printed out a binder with a year's worth of budget outlines that I got off Dave's original website years ago. I bought everybody in my family Total Money Makeover, and that was it. That was my gift for Christmas.

And they loved it. It was good. We had conversations. But when my mom invites me into that conversation, she'll ask an occasional question. My dad went and moved some retirement stuff after his parents passed away recently, asked me some questions about it but i wait for them to invite me in i'm not going to be able to go tell my parents that i and i know how hard that is

because you are feeling it for the first time and everything is through that lens right now the thing they're not going to hear it there's two other things you can add to that equation um you can never bring their finances up to them but you can talk about your story and how good it feels and never even say a word about theirs just tell them your story and how great you feel and um you know uh uh you know i just feel so much better i just you know i mean we don't fight about money we've got control the future's bright oh wow it's just one of the best things i've ever discovered and you just keep talking about your story and how you did how you did it and what you did and and nobody can really argue with you about your story right um and eventually they might say well i could never do that well you and you could say well you might

if you ever want me to help you i would there you go or something like that but that's a long way from you shaking your finger at them going you people need to straighten up because they're not going to uh that way the second thing you can do is sometimes you can talk to someone that has influence in their life that talks to them about this subject, and they might listen to that person. A pastor, an older brother, your uncle, in other words, that kind of thing. But that seldom works either, honestly. But the other one will work. Tell them your story.

This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's John Deloney. This is The Ramsey Show.