The Ramsey Show - App - How Do I Convince My Husband To Sell Our House That We Can't Afford? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: February 10, 2021

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show. Where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Chris Hogan, Ramsey Personality is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Jacob is with us in Danbury, Connecticut. Hi, Jacob. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

How can we help? Hey, Dave, Chris. Thanks for having me. How are you guys? Better than we deserve. How can we help? Just got a question about a 401k investment, retirement investment. Right now I have a traditional 401k, and I'm looking to go to a Roth 401k.

Good. I just have a question on the best way to do that, if I have to do it all at once with the taxes, or if there's steps I can take to kind of cut down on the amount I have to pay out. Well, the first thing is just stop doing new except Roth. Let all your new contributions be Roth from this point forward. That's step one. Okay. Now, how much is in your 401k in the traditional?

About $50,000 right now. Okay. And what baby step are you on? I am on baby step four. Okay. Then I would not convert the $50 50 000 until after your home is paid off okay because it's going to create about twelve thousand dollars in taxes yep and i would rather use those twelve thousand dollars for your five or six baby step but later on when you're in baby

step seven and you scratch up some extra cash then then yeah, go ahead and flip it on over into the Roth at that point. But it won't hurt anything for it to sit there and grow as traditional for a couple of years while you get the house paid off. Okay. I do have another question about mutual funds. Right now I do have a portfolio with kind of a slow growth. I'm just wondering what the best mutual fund that you would recommend to invest in non-retirement. Non-retirement. Why would you have non-retirement?

I don't know if it's something that I may need to pull out of it or... How much is in it? I have about $70,000. What's the balance on your home? About $70,000. Huh? I think we just found a use for it. Jacob, did you feel that?

That was a seismic shift right there for you, buddy. Hey, man, how much do you make a year? Well, this is actually the first year with a bunch of overtime. I just pulled in about $120,000. Way to go, man. And you're debt-free, housing everything. I'm so proud of you. Game changer, Jacob.

Yeah. Seriously, brother. Hey, man, cash it out. Pay off your house. Now let's take that house payment and let's save up twelve thousand dollars and convert the rest of that 401k to a Roth. And then let's start maxing everything out. And then let's just start piling up some cash and being unreasonably outrageously generous. You are so cool, man. He is seriously a young man that has listened and followed the principles uh is about 100 desperate i mean for the most part mostly you know but now he's got a chance to

kind of right the ship and get himself moving in the right direction so for clarification for those of you that are just kind of in the middle of you know what a you have in anything that is not in a retirement account should be liquidated and used for whatever step you are on. Yes. Step one's $1,000. Two is debt-free, everything but the house. Three is an emergency fund. Four is 15% of your income going into retirement.

Five is kids' college. If that's applicable. If not, we head straight on to six and pay off the house. That's how I did that. Right. But non-retirement accounts, Dave, can look like what? A brokerage account. A mutual fund investment. A mutual fund investment.

A $70,000 with a $70,000 mortgage. Isn't that odd? An inheritance. All of these things. Yeah. Yeah. The money is sitting there. You've got some stock your grandpa gave you. You've got $10,000 in savings bonds that your granny gave things. Yeah. Yeah. The money is sitting there. You've got some stock your grandpa gave you.

You've got $10,000 in savings bonds that your granny gave you. You've got five gold coins that you don't even know how you got them or why you got them. I don't know what it is. What have you got that is just sitting around? It's an investment. Use it for the baby step that you're on because the shortest distance between where you are today and wealthy and outrageously generous is walking those baby steps exactly and as quickly as you possibly

can. Don't change the recipe. Okay. Any times people tell me, Chris, you know, I'm following baby steps ish. I'm doing Ramsey ish. I'm like, stop doing ish and do it. Yeah. Follow it to a T.

We've had millions of people get help. Why are you overthinking the wheel it works hey we're even walking with our thousand team members this year yes our internal vision for the year is to walk the talk and so everybody's going through financial peace university again we're dialing in so that our own team members are not doing ish that's right and uh we're even doing t-shirts, Ish is a Wish. Got Hogan saying it on the t-shirt, Ish is a Wish. I like it.

But seriously, you've got an opportunity right now where you are to make a decision. And if you're not a part of Ramsey Plus, I'm telling you right now, get over there. We are adding more information and more content at all times. You have an opportunity to get connected with the events that we have via live stream because you're a member of Ramsey Plus. So text the word trial to 33789. Again, the trial is the word. Text that to 33789 and come on in. Yeah, if you're brand new, the thing is that he's right. We've got this whole thing we just installed in the last six months or so,

where the first 90 days we give you small, consistent wins. Not just the baby steps, but every little detail leading up into a baby step. Small, consistent wins. These add up to big results and better habits, and that means you're going to get where you want to be faster so free trial by texting the word trial to three three seven eight nine now if you're a member by friday night we've got the money and marriage event friday night and it is thirty dollars if you want to watch it as a live stream rachel cruz Dr. John Deloney talking about marriage and money.

It'll be fun, funny, and informative. Great Valentine's Day gift. But if you're a member of Ramsey Plus, it's free. Most of our live streams are free to Ramsey Plus members, in addition to Financial Peace University, in addition to premium version of EveryDollar. All of that's all wrapped up there to make sure you get what you need and that we're able to walk with you and show you how to do that but the trick is there's kind of a spillover effect you know like one of those water wheels coming around as the water fills up one

area it moves one more time spills out that's how the baby steps work it does any of the water that you've got you put it in that bucket yeah until that bucket's full then it spills over the next one move on and then any other water you get whether it's from your budget or the gold coins in your safe, or you're going to sell, I don't know, grandpa's whatever. I don't know what it is. This thing you've been hanging on to that really is not an asset. It's just sitting over there on its butt looking at you. And the only thing we don't do is we don't cash out retirement to do that because of

the penalties and the taxes are so heavy. And it makes it just, it takes the fun out of it. I'm telling you. You've got a great opportunity. Change your future. Change your mindset. And if you change your mindset, I'm telling you, you can change your life. Yeah.

So come over to Ramsey Plus. Check it out. Jacob's in a great place. Yes, he is. He's got a free house and everything. You just helped him. If he does what we told him to do. He better follow the directions, Jacob.

Today, Jay. Right now. Don't make us him to do. He better follow the directions, Jacob. Today, Jay. Right now. Don't make us come to Connecticut. Please. No, it's cold. I can't go up there. I can't go up there. Please don't make us come to Connecticut.

Nope. I'll text him. Please, I don't. I'll do anything, Jacob. I would almost pay off your house to keep from coming. Not really. In an uncertain world, being a good steward of your money is more important than ever. While some circumstances can't be controlled, there are items within your budget you can take charge of, such as your health care costs.

For nearly 40 years, Christian Health Care Ministries, or CHM, has provided a budget-friendly means of sharing for medical bills when our members need it. Learn more by visiting chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org. Chris Hogan Ramsey, personality, is my co-host today. We invite your calls at 888-825-5225. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. Find out for yourself why Blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window coverings. You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you save even more.

Use the magic word, the promo code RAMSEY. All right, today's question comes from Dave in Kentucky. He says, I lost my wife in December of 2020. My goodness. I have an 8-year-old that will start receiving survivor benefits of $858 per month from Social Security. By the time she reaches 18, the total of those payments will be around $100,000. What would be the best thing to do with the money so it earns interest and is worth more once she's 18? Wow.

Well, Dave, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, my friend. That's tough, and I can't imagine what you're going through. I hope you've got a good church and good friends around you. But looking at this, this dollar amount, this $858,000 survivor benefits coming in, this has got to become part of your budget. You're going to use this to raise your daughter. Yeah. Whatever baby step you're on, and if you'll follow the stuff we teach, by the time she's 18, you will have fully funded or college funded.

She'll have a lot more than $100,000. And you will have become wealthy over that 20 years, and she will have a lot more than $100,000. And so there's not any moral, ethical, nor legal obligation for you to set this money aside in her name. You spend more than $858 raising a kid a month anyway. And so just put it into your budget and work your budget because we're counting on you to be a great dad. And any time you work your budget, it is for the good of you and your family. Yeah. And so your daughter is going to more than benefit, far beyond what the $858 would have done, by you doing the right thing.

People struggle with this. Child support, I should set it aside. No, it's all part of the budget, because you spend more than those dollar figures on kids anyway. Yeah. Just to raise them. Yeah, no, without a doubt. I mean, the percentage of the roof replacement, the percentage of the electric bill, the percentage of the insurance that the kid rides in the car, the cost of the car, the value of the loss in the car.

The kid is receiving the benefit of all of that. And this is called raising your children in a family. It's what it is. And so mathematically, you spend a lot more than that on the kid's portion of your life. And so there's no, you've done nothing wrong by not setting it into a separate account. And as a matter of fact, setting it into a separate account, I think, would be wrong. It's the improper use of it. It's not the most efficient use of the money. So, good question. Natalie is in Canada. Hi, Natalie. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Hi, Dave. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. I'm trying to figure out a few things, but the main thing is whether or not to try and get my husband on board with selling our house. I've brought it up a few times, but he really doesn't want to sell it at a loss. We moved a year ago about an hour and a half away from his current work. He planned on getting a job around where we live. We live in the middle of nowhere

with the intention of being able to grow our own food and just be out in the country again where we both kind of grew up. And anyway, it hasn't happened yet. He's trying, but it hasn't happened. We just realized we were expecting another, so we've got one toddler and another on the way. So he has a job. It's just an hour away.

An hour and a half, yes. So he's traveling about three hours a day. But the income is, he takes home about $31,000 and some, almost $3,200 a month. And we don't have any real issues, I suppose, with spending that we're aware of. We don't have any money. We don't have any money. You don't have any money to spend. $31,000 and a three-hour drive a day?

I know where your money is. And babies? I mean, you don't have any money. No. I don't know how to convince them. We're both believers. Unfortunately, because of COVID, all the churches are shut down. The one we did get to know, it's closed now, and we really haven't developed any sense of community around here.

How much do you owe on the home, Natalie? Okay. So, so far, we have, we, oh, it's around $280,000. Okay. It was $300,000, just under around 280,000. Okay. It was just under 350,000 when we bought it. How are you making a payment on that, making 31 grand? Well, we're losing. We're losing every month.

How? What do you mean you're losing? You're going into debt? No, not yet. Oh, you're eating up your savings. Oh, you're eating up your savings. Yes, we're eating up our savings. Yeah, I would guess. How much is your house payment?

$1,183. And how much do you all have in savings right now? We're burning through it. We've probably got, yeah, right now we've've got 1,900 left to our name in liquid. And you're burning how much a month? I don't know. We are burning, I wrote this down too, got all kinds of papers in front of me, $2,707.40. So you don't even have a month left?

Not really. No, not really. I mean, $2,000 over $1,900. You don't have any money left. Yeah. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to say...

Okay, I'm a little bit confused. Let me stop. I don't want to take your side don't want to uh take your side and jump all over him right now but that's how i'm feeling that's how i'm feeling i don't want to well because this is absolutely asinine that you guys have let this that you've let this burn down to this y'all y'all should have been out of there six months ago i agree and so i don't i don't understand why we're in denial about math. What's his problem? He doesn't want to sell it at a loss.

I don't care. He's going to lose it to foreclosure. I know. But you said you bought it at $350, correct? Mm-hmm. Yes. And it's now you owe $280. So what do you think it's worth now? I wish I knew.

We haven't gotten the price. Okay. Yeah. So here's the steps. I think in sitting down and really sitting down with him, hold his hands. I've scheduled a real estate agent to come over here tomorrow night because tonight we're about to have a come-to-Jesus meeting. The math is over. We cannot pretend anymore.

You've got your head stuck up something. I don't know what it is, and it's got to come out. This is ridiculous. And put his hand on your belly and let him know you've got another baby coming. This is crazy. Time is of the essence. I have. He's even finished your book. We bought your book on Amazon.

He read it. He's so excited. So gung-ho. He's trying to look for more jobs now, but it's just like... It's not about jobs. It's about this house is gone. Yeah. It's a three-hour drive with a pregnant wife who's scared and he's out of money this house is gone sell it before you lose it yeah what do we do do we rent or um you move to town and rent when we went there it was 1800 a month you're gonna have to get other jobs. But listen, your little dream of living in the country and growing veggies has turned into a nightmare. Yeah.

Yeah, I know. And so something's got to change. You cannot stay where you are. Yeah. It's not going to work. Now, then the only question is, where are we going? Right. And you've got to start figuring that out as a next step.

But I don't know what you were waiting on. Were you waiting on the housing fairy to show up i mean it's not this isn't you know unless you were going to have an income all of a sudden start appearing that's double yours it's not going to work this is not going to work it's not sustainable and so natalie the urgency you hear in our voice is that we don't want you all hanging out for another two to three months you don't have that you don't have to get the house yeah you don't have that time so i would't want you all hanging out for another two to three months. You don't have that. They're going to come get the house. Yeah, you don't have that time. So I would much rather you all make a proactive decision,

reach out to your lender, have a real conversation, get the real estate agent, the real estate ELP over tomorrow. You are moving. Yeah. Voluntarily or otherwise. You are moving. Much rather you be in control. This is where you are. And so let's face it and decide what we're going to do where are we moving because we're moving yeah yeah this house

is gone i'm so sorry i'm sorry you guys have been through this but you've i you got to deal with it you cannot you cannot not deal with it anymore. Mm-hmm. Chris Hogan, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Drew is with us in Chicago. Hi, Drew. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. How can we help? Hi, how are you?

Great. Pleasure to speak with both of you. You too. So my wife and I have been day-vish for years. Last March, I was able to get my wife 100% on board. I'm sure the pandemic had a little bit to do with that. So we started using the every dollar budget, which allowed us to pay off our only vehicle loan, got rid of all the credit cards that we had. Wonderful. Cash flowed three kids' braces, and we've got a fully funded emergency fund now. How does that feel?

It feels fantastic. Good. Fantastic. How does it feel to her? I'm sorry? I said, How's it feel to her? I'm sorry? I said, how does it feel to her? Oh, she's wondering why we didn't start it earlier. It was your fault.

I can't say I told you so. It was your fault, Drew, I'm sure. I don't know exactly how, but I'm sure it was your fault. Drew, do not say I told you so. That's never going to work, bro. I won't. All right, Drew, I'm sure. I don't know exactly how, but I'm sure it was your fault. Drew, do not say I told you so. That's never going to work. I won't. All right, good, good. So we have college coming up.

I have my three kids are 15, excuse me, 17, 15, and 14. We have $27,000 left on the mortgage. And based on some advice you just gave Jacob a little while ago, um, uh, I think part of my answer, uh, question is answered. Um, I, I do have a non-retirement brokerage account that I had $77,000 in. So I'm basically, I was trying to figure out what to do with that. Should I pay off the $27,000 mortgage? Should I open and fully fund two Roth retirement funds for my wife and I? What's your household income? It's right at about 175 excellent okay so here here's the here's the uh

the hinge pin mathematically for your whole situation that'll set you guys free you need to sit down and map out for all three kids what you need what they need for college and how you're going to do that and when you see that number and you see how you're going to do it it's going to set you free to do the other stuff because here's what's happening if i'm in your shoes i'm you tell me if i'm wrong but i think this is what how i would be feeling if i was sitting there i got this brokerage account i got a 27 000 mortgage i could easily pay it off today um and i need to get my IRAs funded. But, God, those kids, that's coming at me like a freight train right now.

That big college bill is looming, and I don't know what it is, and I'm a little bit afraid if I pay that mortgage off and I start my 15% baby step four into retirement that I'm not going to have the money for college. Right. Do you feel that way? Right. And I do. You feel that way? I do.

I do. Now, I do have a 457 through work that I have about $150,000 in. All right. So tell me the ages of the kids again. 17. So she me the ages of the kids again. 17. So she's a junior. So we've got a little over a year and a half. 15, these are freshmen, and then 14.

So I have that 457 also. And my employer just changed the management of that 457 and as for the past many years um they didn't offer a roth uh option and now they do so i've stopped putting into the regular i've opened up the roth but it's you know so i still have the okay here's what i'm gonna do if i'm in your shoes. All right? I'm just going to throw some numbers down just for the fun of it, but I want you to go do a formal version of this with your wife. Okay. Let's say we research the kid's college,

and $100,000 will put them through each. I don't think it will quite, but I'm going to use that number for a minute. Okay? So over the next four years, because I've got a 14-year-old, I need $300,000. Does that make sense? Yes. I make $175,000. And so if I did four into $300,000, that'd be $75,000 a year.

I can cash flow that. Right? Yes. You see how having the numbers helps you relax a little bit. So I know 75,000 a year for four years, or $100,000 a year for four years. You can cash flow that now a hundred percent of the time i'm going to write a check tonight and pay off your mortgage knowing that i can get there because you've already got 50 of your 300 to 400 that you're going to need 77 minus 27 is 50 right yep right $50 of it. Now, the only question is, in order to cash flow it, am I going to have to tap the brakes a little bit on my retirement in order to cash flow college?

Because I got college right here on top of me. Of course, the kids are going to go to school. They're going to take ACT testing, and they're going to take it again. They're going to apply for scholarships. Grants. We're going to affordable schools. We're not going to apply for scholarships. We're going to affordable schools. We're not going to uber expensive schools. You don't have the money.

And you're going to go to something you can afford. But even having done all of that, you're looking at a $300,000 to $400,000 bill over this period of time, roughly. And Drew, once you do this, you've got your mortgage payment now freed up because you paid off your house. Yeah. So the only question that remains is how much retirement am I going to be able to do while I'm cash flowing college for the next four years? Actually, it's –

Wait, so there's one wrinkle there, too. I also will be receiving a pension of probably right at about $100,000. When you retire or lump sum? No, when I retire. Oh, but we're not retiring. Yeah, same. Way down the road. Yeah.

Because when the kids are through school, you're going to load retirement up. When the kids are through school, you're going to load up retirement. Yeah, because you've got that money set aside. You can do this. You're going to be good, buddy. Now, what you have to do is stay allergic to stupid from now until then. You've got to map it out, and you've got to map out the kid's school and have some firm discussions starting tonight on where you're going to school, where you're not going to school. With the 17-year-old, yeah.

I mean, and this is real. But I'm writing a check paying off the house. I got 50 started towards my $300,000 to $400,000 need over the next four years before the last one starts school. But we really have a total of eight years to spread it across. So this makes it even more doable. So you can map out the actual cash needs. So the 17-year-old starts, I need this much cash this year. Right. So you got year one out of your 50.

You probably got year two out of your 50. Now the 15-year-old starts, I need this much cash this year. Right. So you got year one out of your 50. You probably got year two out of your 50. Now the 15-year-old starts school. And you got three and four for the first one, and you got the second one. Right. And you're going to end up with two in school for quite a few years at the same time. But you can map that cash out and out of your cash flow in your budget, again, with a reasonably priced education. And you're going to be able to do that and then back into

how much can I put towards retirement out of that and paying cash for school. So we're going to have the discussion with them about that. But once you map this out, it's going to give you a ton of peace. Just like when you start doing a budget, you felt like you got a raise. But all we're doing is we're mapping out the next eight years, which gets the 14-year-old four years starting school, four years to finish school. Yeah, and now you're not guessing. You don't have this thing looming over your head where you're wondering. You can sit down and actually know.

And once you put a dollar amount to it, now you can put a savings plan toward it. Yeah. Yeah. This will work. This will absolutely work. Hold on. I'm going to have Kelly send you can put a savings plan toward it. Yep. Yep. This will work. This will absolutely work. Hold on. I'm going to have Kelly send you a copy of Debt-Free Degree, number one bestseller by Anthony O'Neill. And you guys need to read that.

And the kids need to read it. Because it will help you understand that you can get a degree debt-free, especially when mom and dad are 100% debt-free, housing everything, and make $175K. Ding, ding. It's doable. It ding. It's doable. It is. It's very doable. But we've got to plan it out, and we've got to think about it. And you can't, you're not going to, no one accidentally wins the Super Bowl.

It doesn't happen. We noticed that the other night. This is the Ramsey Show. Thank you. Our scripture of the day, Ecclesiastes 7.12 For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money And the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it John Zinger says that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it. John Zinger says, Great leaders are not defined by the absence of weakness,

but rather by the presence of clear strengths. Hmm. I don't know if I heard that one. That's a good one. That is a good one. Chris Hogan, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host here today. David is with us in Houston, Texas. Hi, David.

How are you you know i don't know whether to say better than i deserve or focused but not finished i'm doing pretty well that's a pretty good hogan impersonation there david i'm gonna give you an a on that one hey thanks hey um i've got a question for y'all. I'm 30 years old, married. I have two kids, three and under with one on in 2008, and we did FPU as a couple in 2013. But I'm kind of struggling now with baby steps and burnout. We're on baby steps four, five, and six. We purchased our home in 2015 as a double income, no kids. And then in 2017, my wife quit after we had our daughter in the middle of Hurricane Harvey and took a big pay cut there to about $70,000. Then I was blessed out of promotion where I got a 42% pay raise in 2019. So now I'm making about $110,000.

So the question, I guess, is with all the things that I've found, the more money I make, the more things I have to pay for, whether that's 529 for the kids, home insurance, life insurance, property tax, et cetera. So how can I keep my eyes and our eyes on our financial goal without running out of gas during baby steps four, five, and six? Well, the first thing that comes to mind is baby steps one through three are gazelle intensity, and four, five, and six are not. You move from intensity to intentionality on four, five, and six. So four, five, and six involves a budget for a vacation. It involves a budget for an upgrade in vehicle. It involves a budget for you're running a marathon here. You're not running a sprint.

And so you're not on beans and rice, rice and beans. And you make $110,000. You've done very well in your career. Well done. You're putting 15% of your income away. You don't have any payments but a house payment. You've got an emergency fund in place. You have a very reasonable house mortgage.

And you've got some kids, and you're funding a 529. But you're slowing into a rhythm run now. You're not doing speed training. It's a marathon. And I think you're still trying to run the emotions at least, if not maybe even trying to crank the math down, as if you were still on gazelle intensity. That'll burn you up. You can't do that.

Yeah, and David, you're also at that stage of life where you've got all of these young kids. You've got another one coming. So you're feeling the pressure and the strain. I'm never going to get out. Yeah. I'm working from home. Along with lack of sleep. Are you working from home, too? Yes, sir. Oh, yeah, man.

So let's be honest. The mindset on the financial side, as Dave said, it's a mindset. It's the intentionality factor. But what you're feeling is the stress and strain from the other things of life. And I want to tell you, as a former master isolator, because I was perfect at it, I thought, you don't want to do life alone. And so you want to get some good guys around you.

You want to have a connection and a relationship to talk about the stressors and strains of the kids, of the pressure. It's one of those things where we're not meant to do life alone, so you need some community. Yeah, and, you know, it's the stage you're in. Oh, yes. I mean, you've got, there's not a lot of traction mathematically

with where you are in the YB steps, and the kids just keep piling up here. It's like, oh, I'm stuck. And he doesn't get to leave.'s working from home yeah yeah there's a lot that's a lot you know you you're i think just saying all that out loud oh helps with the idea of burnout that is a normal human being in your situation would be stressed yes so if you are stressed you are a normal human you are normal you are not a psychopath no and if you are stressed, you are a normal human being. You are normal. Absolutely. You are not a psychopath. No. And if you were just clueless, then I would tell you I'd worry about your mental health. You are feeling exactly where you are right now in this season, brother.

We'll get you out of the house and working. Yeah. That'll be helpful. It will. And we get the baby here, the last one. That'll be good. That'll be helpful. Yes.

And you get in, you know, but you're not going to see. One of the frustrations that we've watched people experience, and I guess we've all experienced that have walked these baby steps, is that you see such huge chunks of traction in the first three. Yeah. And then when you go to four, five, and six, it just slows down. Yes. Yeah.

And it's the long haul. This is a five, seven-year, ten-year slog. That's just the thought. And that's why we budget in there for the upgrades and some of the other things as you go along. You budget for this or that. And, you know, if you need to back off on a 529 just a little bit in order to have a fund a little bit while you're here, this is the time that it's appropriate to do that. I just want you doing it on purpose, and I don't want you to fall into debt because you

take your eyes completely off the ball. So you go from intensity to intentional, and that's where we want to be. And David, just like the seasons of the weather, this season, too, will change, my friend. It really will. Just hang in there with your wife. Make sure you guys' relationship is connected. Get some coaching if you need to or some counseling if you need to but get some good guys around you so you can do life with them because you got other fellows that are feeling the same thing you know it's weird it feels like it was yesterday in some ways and in

some ways it feels like it was a hundred years ago but the year rachel was born we filed bankruptcy we had no money that's why you filed bankruptcy and and i got a toddler a marriage hanging on by a thread i'm working from home and i'm broke i got no money and um you know sharon was to say the least overwhelmed she wanted me away she didn't want to look at me to start with. That's pretty disgusted. Valid, valid. But, you know, I mean, we went through a similar season, but much worse. Yeah.

In the sense of there was not money for the electric bill. And there was not money. You know, we're, I mean, we didn't go hungry literally but we were broke we had no money and i had to go make money every week in order to just pull things together and i got little babies my self-esteem is destroyed my marriage is on the rocks i mean it's that was a tough tough season and so it feels like when i talk about it it comes up in my throat and i remember it like it was yesterday but it was you know it was 30 years ago so uh in that sense david you're in a similar type thing but much better and i'm not saying yours is that your feelings aren't valid they are valid right uh but

you're just that that's what that those young that young kids stage of life they suck they suck the marrow out of your bones emotionally. They're so needy. They're just takers. They just take. We love them. They're cute as they can be. But that's why when I have all the grandbabies over, I mean, I send them back home.

That's why I send them back home, because I love them, but they need to go home. They have to go home. You know, and it's just that they, when you're when you're six months old and you can't do anything for yourself you're all you are is a taker man i mean we love you you're cute as a button and uh papa dave's gonna bounce you on my knee but um but they they do they pull the energy out of and the math out of everything and and so it is valid to feel that. It's not really a burnout. It's more of a I'm not getting traction. Yeah. Fatigue.

It's a fatigue. It is a fatigue. Yeah. It's a mental. It's a math fatigue, an emotional fatigue, a spiritual fatigue. It really is. A relational fatigue. Yep.

And so, yeah, just own that and say that that's real. Get some guys, guys of young families around you like Chris suggested. Yeah. Form your group of guys. Get out of the house. Yes. Go to the store and just walk around. Go in the backyard and hit a tree with a stick.

I don't know. Do something, man. I mean, that's... Get out of that house. Yeah. Let your wife get out of the house, too. Take turns. Take turns.

Yeah, for God's sakes. Yeah, budget for a babysitter. That's a good thing. Yeah, I mean, I'm with you, brother. That's what we're saying. But you'll get through it, and you can still hit your baby steps. Yes, you can. Just don't let this cause you to fall off the horse.

That puts this hour of the Ramsey Show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of Ramsey advice in their life? Let them know about the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast. It's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes. Check out the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.