The Ramsey Show - App - How Do I Find Balance as a Wildlife Firefighter? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: July 16, 2021

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Live from the headquarters of the U.S broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is The Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm Christy Wright. I'm an author of Business Boutique and author of the new book Take Back Your Time that we are celebrating today. And joining me today for the next two hours is my good friend Dr. John Deloney, host of the Dr. John Deloney Show and also author of Redefining Anxiety. So we are here to take your calls about anything you want to talk about. Money, life, relationships.

Your marriage. Time management. Hey, marriage. Your friends. Speaking of, marriage and money tonight. You are the best at... How are you feeling about it? You are the...

Just awesome. This is going to be so fun, man. Anytime you can hang out with Rachel and all that crew, it's a blast. Well, not only that, but I can't tell you how many people I have... And you just hear this in conversation conversation it's so normal to complain about something you struggle with in your marriage but then we don't do anything to fix it really and tonight is such an opportunity for people to come together I just talked to someone in the last hour and it was literally a marriage question yeah and we said hey we're going to give you a ticket to

this event tonight you and it was her fiance, come together, watch this live stream event, and it will give you conversation starters for maybe some of the things that you're struggling with. A, thank you for transitioning to that pitch. That was really good. That was awesome. Very natural. And let me ask you this question. So you deal with people, you've had for years, you've coached people trying to start businesses. They got an idea, but they just won't do it. And one of the things that I hear you say a lot is you're never, just go, just start, just get in there. I wonder if, and I've never had this conversation with you, I wonder if there is a similar train of thought as to why people know their marriage isn't great. They know things are struggling.

They know I don't feel right, but I'm just not going to do anything about it. And you look up and it's three years later. It's five years later. It's seven years later. I wonder if there's a similar trajectory there. Why do people tell you at the end of the day they don't start that business? They don't try that side hustle. Why do they not do those things? I think with business, my hunch is it's much more fear-based.

I'm scared of putting myself out there. Whereas in marriage, at least, you know, anything that Matt and I have, if we've gone through tough seasons, it is by degrees. It's so gradual. I mean, when you're,

you know, a newlywed, everything's exciting and new and easy. And then, and then it gets hard and you have kids and it gets harder and you're tired and grouchy. It's so incremental that things might get hard. And I think that it almost happens so gradually a lot of times that you don't even notice it's happening. And then you look up one day and you just accept it as the new normal,

like, well, this is how we interact or this is as good as it gets. I remember when Matt and I were newlyweds, we were in this small group at church and someone had recommended, someone older had recommended this marriage book. It was like aian faith-based marriage book and and we read it and it's like five star reviews it's just like a hugely successful book and we didn't relate at all because it was literally talking to people that like don't like each other like we love each other we will always be this way we will never talk we will never think about each other that's so mean and then it's like then it's like you know three in the morning and your child has like peed in the bed and you're like,

you're screaming at each other. You're like, this is not who I want to be. So I think it just happens so gradually. And then you start to like kind of accept it as normal. But what I,

what I love about stuff like what you guys are doing tonight or, or really successful marriage books, anything like that, a podcast, wherever you get help

is that when you have an outside perspective, it can literally breathe new life into your relationship. There's something about that social norming where you realize, I'm not crazy. Yeah. Or we're not broken. Right. Or we're not, we may just be dysfunctioning, but we're not forever stuck on this trajectory.

Yeah. Here's the goal for tonight. I'm going to say some things. Rachel's going to say some things that I know one of you two on that couch for tonight. I'm going to say some things. Rachel's going to say some things that I know one of you two on that couch is thinking. I'm going to say it. Everybody's going to be

elbowing each other. Rachel's going to put it out. We're going to put it out into the universe and we're going to tee it up for you. And it's like a giant red ball on a tee. All you got to do

is just hit it, right? And that's the goal, right? How can we help facilitate folks to look at each other and be like, can we just, I mean, he said it. Let's just try it, right we help facilitate folks to look at each other and be like can we just i mean he said it let's just try it right we're we're gonna be there well another thing i would i would say is um if you attend the event tonight if you're if you're listening oh i really want to go but i'm scared my spouse won't go it doesn't mean your marriage is broken it doesn't even mean something's wrong it's like this can be a proactive hey this would be cool to

like you know get other ideas and advice. I know some people feel like counseling, for example. It's like, oh, you must be like something's wrong with you.

If you go to counseling, it's like you could go proactively. You should. I remember I had a grad school counselor and she said, the shame of counseling,

the shame of an event like this, is people only go when they're in crisis. She said, it's like waiting until you have the flu to go to the gym and start your new workout program. She said if people would look at each other and say, we are killing it right now. We could actually go meet with a therapist or a coach or whoever and learn some skills.

We can actually hear we're not in crisis. We can practice and laugh through things or be curious about things instead of being angry whatever and we could actually be in a helpful place so if you are struggling or if you are rocking it man tonight and it's hilarious rachel's funny and we'll have a blast but we're talking about new things all this is new talk about new stuff we're gonna talk about sex we're gonna talk about relationship we're gonna get into it because people keep asking about it right and we can't avoid it you're gonna talk about the things that they deal with that they don't want to talk about don don't know how to talk about. Going back, you said it's gradual.

I'll tell you, for me, like when you said people are scared to put themselves out there, I do this for a living. And I've found myself in different seasons. Sheila and I will celebrate 19 years next week. And there's seasons I'm just scared to say it. So I just don't. And I don't know where this fear comes from. There's moments I've had to remind myself of over the last almost 20 years.

She said in front of all of our friends and family she wasn't going to leave. So I have to say this. But I mean it's this I got to build myself up for it. And how can we that's what tonight is. We're going to take all the air out of that.

Facilitate it. I've got a feeling about something and you tell me if i'm right or wrong on this i feel like counseling or and or events like what we're talking about tonight for older generations baby boomers older generations for them it's that much more of like this is a bad thing my generation i feel like it's much more open to counseling to self-help to personal development podcast books events that type of thing have you seen that where like maybe some people that have been married a long time they're that much less likely to attend an event like this because it means you're broken it means like something's wrong with you or is that just

am i off base no you're you're a hundred percent in and almost more i think now people are starting to get the message you're not broken or it's not just for crazies or whatever that means. But they also – I don't have the energy or the capacity. I feel like I'm too exhausted to even think about doing something different. Besides, it's her fault or it's his fault. Right. Can we go so you can fix my spouse? That's how they all –

It's like he needs to hear this. She needs to hear this she needs to hear this and what i love to remind people is having sore knees having 45 pounds that you know i've got to just it's hard having a hard conversation with your spouse because y'all been on a hard trajectory just turning the lights on and turning the music off and saying, we need to talk, that's hard. Living less than, feeling like you can't breathe when your spouse is in the room, trying to avoid that Sunday afternoon dad because he's just that hulking presence, that's hard too. So at the end of the day, you're just choosing your heart, and I would rather people choose to walk a little taller and breathe a little deeper instead of just looking down the barrel of the next 15, 20 years and going,

this is just the way that is, right? Nothing breaks my heart 15, 20 years and going, this is just the way that it is. Right? Nothing breaks my heart more than that statement. I guess this is just the way that is. Yeah. You don't have to be that way. And it's, it's 30 bucks. It's 15 bucks a person and you don't have to leave your house.

Right? Come on. So easy. Join us tonight, man. And if you've got questions about marriage, you've got questions about ending relationships, mental health, starting a business, friends, all of of it give us a shout this is the ramsey show imagine a world where people never have to worry about money ever again at ramsey solutions our mission is to teach people how to get out of debt and build lasting wealth.

And if that means we have to take on the toxic money culture that says you need debt to get ahead, then we're okay with that. We've seen millions of lives changed, and we will continue technologies. Or if you're a UX designer or an SEO and content marketing specialist, we'd love to talk with you. Together, we will disrupt the toxic money culture in America. Find out about all the available jobs by texting careers to 33789. Text careers to 33789 to find out about all our open opportunities. I'm Christy Wright, and hosting with me today is my good friend, Dr. John Deloney, and we're taking your calls about life, money, relationships, and time management. Give us a call, 888-825-5225. I also have a challenge for you.

For those of you that feel like you never have enough time, like we all feel all the time, I want to give you some tips that's going to get you back 24 hours in your week. I promise. Text TIMEFINDER to 33444. That's TIMEFINDER to 33444. That's Time Finder to 33444. Take the challenge and I promise you, you will get 24 hours back in your week and you can do whatever you want with that time. All right, we're going to go to Sarah in Klamath Falls, Oregon, where I have spoken before. Hey, Sarah, how are you? I'm good. How are you? Good. How can John and I help today? Oh, thanks for taking my call.

My question is, what advice would you give someone who loves their job but recognizes that that job might not be good for their family? What do you mean by that? So I'm a wildland firefighter, and I've worked like 50 hours of overtime this week. I have two little kids. You all have had hours of overtime this week as a little kid. Yeah. Y'all have had a heck of a week, huh?

Yeah. Wow. So is it just the amazing amount of hours and the unpredictable schedule? Is that what you mean in terms of why it's not good for young kids? Yeah, primarily. Yeah. Is this seasonal? And I don't mean that in a silly way, but for the first

responders that I've worked with and know personally, there is a fluidness or fluidity to their home life, meaning at any moment they can get, they have to walk out the door, but there's also seasons where they're home a lot, right? And are there moments, like I know buddies who are police officers that work the third shift and that stinks because they're home a lot right and are there moments like i know buddies who are police officers that work the third shift and that stinks because they're leaving for work at midnight and getting off at seven but also they get to take their kids to school every morning so are there trades like that you can make or are you starting to feel mortal and you're starting to feel i don't want to make this balance yeah yeah so it seasonal. My winters are way more flexible, which is awesome. I was able to, yeah, like you said, take my kids to school every morning and see them in the evening and kind of come and go as I please.

But during fire season, I'm pretty much committed the whole summer. So here's one of the things I want to suggest or offer, Sarah, and you can tell me if this resonates with you or not. But I love that John brought up the seasonality because there are a lot of careers, a lot of industries that have a seasonality to it. Let's use a completely opposite type of work. Accountants. Accountants in the spring are working all the time in tax season, right? They don't see their kids a lot and that's just the reality of the season. But they know, I actually use that exact example in my book, right? Like they don't see their kids a lot. And that's just the reality

of the season. But they know, I actually use that exact example in my book. They actually know at the end of that season, when tax season's over and everything's wrapped up, there's going to be a lot more freedom, flexibility, and time. So there's this ebb and flow to it. And I think the thing that you have to think about is, is that a seasonality that you're okay with, that it's worth it to you because you love that job or you want something more stable and predictable i'm going to go out on a limb here sarah no pun intended but i'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest that if you took this work to begin with you're not the type of person that wants this predictable nine to five whatever you like this

type of work but but what i want to encourage you is, and this is what I really try to teach people in my book, is to take the pressure off that you have to do everything for an equal amount of time. You have to be a perfect mom going to school every day of the whole calendar year. But instead, balance comes from doing the right things at the right time. So you're in this season,

the right thing right now is to do exactly what you're doing. And then the right thing in the winter is to take your kids to school and go on play dates and have fun in the afternoon. But when you begin to realize it's not that we're going to do everything for an equal amount of time, we're going to do the right things at the right time, then when you allow yourself to be present for those things when they're happening, you're not only more proud of those things because you're doing the right things at the right time. You're like, yeah, I rocked it at work because I was able to do this thing and make a huge difference because

this is what's right right now in this season. But you also shake the guilt of feeling like you should be doing anything other than that. And so if there wasn't a seasonality to it, to John's point, and you just worked 50 hours a week and never saw your kids for years and years on end, yeah, that's a different question. But if it's like, hey, this is the season for this. This is the season for what I do, like an accountant or like anyone else that has a really hard season and an easier season I think there might be something in that that can set you free to be present for that and not feel so guilty if it's the work that you want to do but you can tell me I mean if if a more predictable schedule is appealing to you that's a that's that's an option for you too. Well, I love my job.

And I think the stress comes from my husband. He hates me doing this job. And so it's that added stress of trying to balance my marriage and knowing that he doesn't want me doing this. Yeah. That's a whole different... John's going to doing this. Yeah. That's a, that's a whole different, John's going to just jump in here. That's a big deal.

So to relieve you of any guilt, what, what Christy just said is dead on and kids are incredibly resilient. They need stability and predictability and honesty. And so I see this with parents who are getting deployed, parents who are entering tax season. In my home, I looked on the calendar this week. I was hosting the Ramsey show three times. I have a money marriage event. I've got chapters of a book. I knew this week was going to be wild. And my family's taking a quick vacation next week. So we had a family meeting

this week. And I said, hey, Hank, I'm not gonna be able to go fishing. Josephine, we're not gonna be able to go out in the woods and play baby dolls, whatever it is, crazy things. She cooks up all the time. But here's the season and they get it. It's when I try to pretend

that I'm just being the same old dad that this week's not been. So kids are resilient. You have to be honest with them and you gotta have some predictability. And they know, hey, we're heading into fire season. We're going to have this great adventure. What kills me, and more importantly your kids, is when there's a disagreement or a couple who are roommates or a couple who are not on the same page, and you use the kids as the excuse. And I'd much rather you face what I would consider a bigger

dragon, which is sitting down with your husband and him saying, I'm scared to death that you're going to go to work and die. Or, I can't do my job if I've got to be a full dad plus during these seasons. Those are more honest conversations. The kids, if you're honest with them and you're predictable,

are going to be great. Especially if they've got another parent that's picking up that slack in those off seasons. It's when you and your husband start having that tension. The kids are going to absorb that, and that plus missing you is going to add a whole new layer of them trying to solve for that gap for the rest of their lives. And so you've got to sit down with your husband and say, we've got to have this hard conversation. Is he scared of you dying?

Is he not like your schedule because he's missing his video game time? What is it? I don't think he's particularly scared of me dying, but it's the schedule. It's the fact that he has to pick up the slack and he has to take care of the kids 24-7 and he doesn't get any free time for himself. Yeah, that's an issue that youall need to address sooner rather than later. That's what's really going on in your question. That's actually really your question.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what's really going on here because I can't imagine how you could go to work guilt free in your busiest season, Sarah, knowing not only is your heart at home with leaving your kids of all that naturally goes into that being a mom, but also you know your husband's not supportive. Yeah. That will eat away at you and so and so getting on the same page you and your spouse having those conversations maybe it's maybe it's with the counselor certainly stay on the line and we'll give you a ticket to the money and marriage event tonight that dr john

deloney and rachel cruz are going to be leading there i'm sure there's going to be some teaching and some content and some tips that you can – to give you a jumpstart to this conversation. But that piece of this is what needs to be fixed. And so that's what I would look at. I mean – The trajectory here, you know, they say it's one degree and the car will eventually turn all the way around. The trajectory here is, man, this is on a path towards that frustration when he feels he's got to go

pick up the kids. The resentment. You're helping somebody and then you get that text from him and you're frustrated that you feel like you have a job that's got meaning. This is a recipe for resentment.

And you've listened to me for two seconds. It's really hard to come back from relational resentment. It's just, man, your relationship's in ash. And yes, Christy, we'll address this specifically tonight. Sarah, stay on the line. We'll give you a ticket to the Money and Marriage event tonight

with Dr. John Deloney and Rachel Cruz. And for anyone else that wants to get your ticket, RamseySolutions.com. This is The Ramsey Show. If you're struggling to keep up with payments, you know what it's like to be so scared and overwhelmed that you can't think straight. I have been there. I remember. I remember that feeling. The good news is you don't have to live like that. When you pay off your debt as fast as possible, like we teach people to do, you will never have that kind of stress in your life again. You can do this. And here's where you start. Financial Peace University. Millions of people have taken this class and learned how to pay off debt and take

control of their money. And you can stream all nine lessons right now. Or you can get some extra support by going through the class with other people. And the way that you get Financial Peace University is with a Ramsey Plus membership. You can get rid of the debt that's holding you back and end the cycle of worry and stress to start your free trial of Ramsey Plus. Just text trial to 33789.

That's trial to 33789. That's trial to 33789. If you're listening to this right now, by the way, if you are a Ramsey Plus member, you get all kinds of extra other perks like getting to view the Money in Marriage event tonight for free. Those are the types of things that we give to our Ramsey Plus members. Text trial to 33789 to start your free trial today. All right, we're going to go to Bradley in Utah. Hey, Bradley, how's it going?

Pretty good. Hey, I have a quick question for you. Me and my wife are in our last semester of college, and we have about $23,000 saved up. And we were just wondering what we need to do with that money. What would be a good thing to do? Would it be to keep it in the bank or to invest it or put it into something else? Yeah, so let's walk through the baby steps.

Do you have debt? No. No debt. Very cool, man. Awesome. No debt. Okay. Do you have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses yeah well that the 23 000 that's a year's worth of expenses very cool awesome okay cool and do you own a home are you planning to buy a home

uh we're renting right now but we plan on buying one in a few more years. Okay. Well, cool. Well, here's what I would do. I know that you don't have your timeline totally nailed down. If the timeline moves up for any reason where you want to buy a home sooner, then what you'll want to do is just leave that money in savings. Part of it, half of it, obviously, would be your emergency fund.

The other half could be going towards a down payment on a house. If it ends up being further out, where it's going to be five years, three years, five years, seven years, or it's going to be longer, you can certainly work with an investment professional at ramseysolutions.com to just get that invested where it's earning a little bit more money than it would be in a savings account. But the whole point of savings is that you have access to it. It's not to earn interest and so if you think you'll be buying a home in the next year or two then just leave that money in savings and then

when a home comes available certainly with the market being crazy like it is right now um you can kind of keep an eye on that and then when you're ready um to buy a home you just continue to add to that savings and that would be your down payment does that that make sense? Yeah. But in college, your number one job is to invest in yourself and get out of college debt-free. Yes. And the number of students who have something come their way that last semester, whether it's, hey, someone out of the blue is going to call you for a job interview in some weird state, but you got to fund it to get there or your car is going to fall apart or they're going to jack your rent up whatever the goal is to get out debt-free so hang on yeah like chris said hang on to that money don't overthink it don't overdo it your job

is to get out debt-free one of you is going to say hey what about grad school whatever happens your job is to get out debt-free and then get into those baby steps yeah and you're and you're doing it you're so far ahead yeah man you're doing it now the other thing that and you make up a good you make a good point john that i forgot to mention when you're graduating college you are in a transitional stage in life so whether that's what job you're going to take or if you're going to buy a house like there's going to be a lot of things variables that are at play and it's always good to have that cash in the bank and you're not talking about a huge amount of money. We're talking about a very reasonable amount of money. And just have that cash in the bank to give you options, get out debt free. And then

whatever your next step is, that cash is going to help fund that step. But great job. Way to go. All right, we're going to go to Sarah in Indianapolis. Hey, Sarah, how are you? Hi, I'm good. How are you? Good. How can John and I help? Yes. So Chrissy, I am a long time follower and fan and actually met you last year at the business boutique conference during the VIP luncheon. I had asked you a question about like, how do you know when it's time to throw in the towel? Oh, I remember that. I remember that moment. Sarah, I was crying. We were all crying. It was great. No, I'm crying, Sarah.

Well, I took your advice, came back, redirected. My sales are like literally on fire this year. I had to take a month off because I had surgery. But over the first six months, I've grossed over $30,000, which is more than what I last year. I'm at the point where I am ready to hire help. I do know that my time, you know, is being spent way too much on the business, but how do I know if I need to just hire some help to come into my house and help me a little bit here and there versus actually taking the funds, getting the brick and mortar and all of the expenses that then come with the brick and mortar. Yeah. So I want you to do something really simple, really practical to help you decide this. And it's not something we have time to do on this call, but you can do it on your own. And I'd be willing to

bet you haven't done it only because it's kind of a pain to do it. But I just want you to compare what the role would be and what it would bring you. So for example, hypothetically, I would hire someone into my business for 20 hours a week. They would do this type of work that would give me back this much time and make me this much money. Or hypothetically, I would hire someone into my home that would do this type of work that would free up this much time, which would then free me to work on the business that would then bring me this much money. You're just going to do kind of a comparative analysis. And it's literally two columns there. Like it's not complicated. It's not fancy. It's just comparing which one is more beneficial to you. And it may be something where you split the difference and you say, I'm going to bring someone

in the business 10 hours, someone at home 10 hours, and then that's going to kind of divide and conquer. But I just really want you to compare them because we can think, oh my gosh, like I'm drowning in housework. I need to have someone come into the house, which may be true, but really just feels overwhelming when it may be better spent to hire someone into the business that could actually bring in extra income. And then you get your kids and you're able to kind of take care of the house a little bit better.

Does that make sense? Yeah, it does. Because with the brick and mortar, you think, oh, it's out of the house. Now I won't have to be working, you know, 12 hours a day. But then are you really? Because I think with the brick and mortar, you still are like, if you're on vacation and the place burns down, well, you have to figure out how to get back home, you know? And so it's like, is it really trading in stress and time and giving me more time back, I guess?

Yeah, it's like John Deloney said a little bit ago. It's not that it's not hard. It's just a different kind of hard. Sarah, stay on the line. I want to give you a ticket to our business boutique event this fall. I don't know if you have a ticket. If you do already, you can go ahead and gift that to someone. But I am so stinking proud of you.

You are rocking it. And what a great problem to have. Your business is taking off. You need help. I just want you to literally take a notepad, a pen, and write a couple columns. If I hired someone in the business, what would they do? And what would that bring me in time and in money? And then if I hired someone into my house to help? And what would that bring me in time and in money? And then if I hired someone into my house to help me, what would that bring me in time? And then

obviously potential money, assuming you're doing something else with that time that's now not spent in the home. So two columns, compare both options. It may be something that you pick one or the other, and it may be a little bit of both. But I think that's going to give you a little bit more clarity because you're going to have actual numbers and not just a hunch and exhaustion to go on. Because I tell people all the time, tired decisions are never good decisions. But one other thing to consider is when you figure out what this person is going to do, be very clear on what the results you want to achieve.

Be very clear on your job description, as we call it in Entree Leadership, key results area. What are they going to do? And define success for them and for you, whether you hire them in your home or in your business. And then you know what you're running towards. You know what the expectations are. How do you put a premium on your time? Yeah. Like, how do you do that?

Like decide I'm worth this much an hour. Well, we can talk about that after the break. I mean, it's not a, it's not a formula. It's, it's, it's a bunch of variables you consider. And as you consider these variables together, you come up with a range. We can, but we can, that's a great idea. We'll unpack that after the break. This is the Ramsey Show. I'm Christy Wright

joining me today is Dr. John Deloney we are taking your calls about life and money relationships and time management all the things

give us a call 888-825-5225. If you want to pre-order my new book that just launched for pre-order on Monday, Take Back Your Time, The Guilt-Free Guide to Life Balance, you can get your copy at ramsaysolutions.com. And when you do, you will also get the e-book and the audio book for free and a ticket to my live event September 14th. That's Take Back Your Time, the guilt-free guide to life balance.

I want to help you take back your time. Am I allowed to tell people that it's selling like bananas? It is. We're surpassing our goals, which I'm so excited about. This is a pain point for people. Hey, and goals at Ramsey are not goals. No. They are like if you have goals, then if you work at Ramsey, they're tripled.

And we don't shoot low for anything. And so for you to be exceeding goals is way up there. Congrats. Thank you. Thank you. It's definitely a team effort. That's for sure. Oh, stop.

This is cool. Just say it's awesome. It's awesome. And it's such a pain point because we never have enough time, John. I don't. You don't. None of us do. And so I want to help people with that.

So before we get to the break, you asked about how you put a value on your time. Here's where I come from that. So I come from a background, which is if you hire somebody, it's because you're lazy. That feels extreme, but go on. Welcome to – Christy, how long have we known each other? So if you – just figure it out and do it yourself. And mow your own yard, you fix your own car, you change your own oil. And then what I began to hear a few years ago, for folks who were getting into leadership,

who were running their companies, who were busy, who were moms, who were dealing with kids, all of it, is you've got to come up with an hour of your, like what is an hour of your work time worth? And if it exceeds that, you've got to hire somebody else to do that because your time is. So if you can mow your yard, it takes two hours to do that and you think that you're, like if you do the math and you're worth 75 bucks an hour, you need to pay somebody because it costs 30 bucks to mow your yard, right?

I never have been able to rationalize in my head, what does that actually look like? How would I come up with an hour amount for my time? Or if I'm going to hire an employee, right? What's the right way to do that? I think it depends on several. I mean, the way that you're asking, okay, let me back up.

When I teach women to price themselves, to price their products and services through a business boutique, for example, in a business environment, we walk through several variables. So cost of goods sold, your talent, the quality of materials, the time it takes you. You take all these variables into consideration, the industry you're in and so on, when you come up with a range, what your competition is charging and so on.

But what you're talking about is different. I actually use this interesting example in my goal planner. I have content, you know, monthly themed content throughout. In the month focused on time, which I actually believe is this month for those people that have the goal planner. I tell the story of this woman on a phone call whenever I was doing research and she was telling me about how a doorknob broke in her house. And now you could go down to the local hardware store and get a doorknob for maybe three to four dollars like these are not expensive things but she really wanted to make it like like make a

doorknob from scratch fix it make it something so she's like googling and youtubing and she's getting all the the little little springs and all the little parts and pieces whatever and after about 30 hours she makes this doorknob for like i don't know a dollar 27 and she was so proud of herself that she saved like two dollars right and like as she's telling the story i'm going like i feel like maybe she's missing the point you lost a thousand dollars of your soul right right but i think there's something interesting and again not to pick on older generations but from the older generations um certainly my mom's generation i know matt's parents i see this in them it's a do-it-yourself it's a do-it-yourself generation they grew up

they didn't have as much and so they're like no we're not going to waste food my dad does not waste food at the dinner table you better eat it or you're ungrateful um and because of that that culture and that context and that even world view that they grew up in and that experience that they had it is harder for them to value their time

whereas Matt and I it might be easier for us to pay someone to mow our lawn because we're going well I could pay someone this much money or I could you know

have the evenings with my kids and you put it so for me and you're in a position to like our grandparents were in the Great Depression they didn't

there wasn't 100% they don't have that 100% but even if they're out of that even like my dad has money And you're in a position to. Like our grandparents were in the Great Depression. They didn't. There wasn't. 100%. They don't have that. 100%. But even if they're out of that, even like my dad has money. But it stays with you. Still won't spend it. And so I think it's interesting how that shapes your worldview.

But you have to ask yourself. Again, it's a cost benefit type of thing. It's not just if I'm going to put $75 an hour on me, for example, in your lawn example. Then if I pay someone to mow the lawn at $30, it doesn't mean I have to go spend that time making money. No, I got you. But what is the value of time with my kids in the evening or time, you know, whatever. And I've also learned that I used to do it to save that $2.

Her story reminds me of me. I'm going to spend a week doing a thing that should have taken five dollars in 30 minutes once i shifted it from a scarcity mindset if i if i don't like we need that five dollars here because to you know what i like i like learning hard things and i like figuring stuff out where it becomes a hobby totally then i love it and then i can high five myself but it's not an identity anymore right and it's not a cost saving move it's not an identity anymore. Right. And it's not a cost-saving move. This is a fun project move. And that's just a different way to approach it.

All right. We're going to go to Brenda in Amarillo. Hey, Brenda, how are you? Hi. I'm doing fine. How are you today? Great. How can John and I help?

Okay. I am high-functioning autistic. Okay. I am high-functioning autistic. Okay. And I am extremely talented in a number of areas. I write, I paint, I sketch, I design, I draw, and I cartoon. Cool. Outstanding. And I write songs I cartoon. Cool. Outstanding. And I write songs. Awesome.

I just don't know how to make my talents work for me. Okay. What do you want to do? Which one of those, not that you have to totally pick, but is there one of those that you enjoy more than others that you want to really focus on? I like music and I like my books. Okay, cool. Well, I'm going to give you some really simple advice, Brenda, and I think this is going to help you make progress. And this is the same advice, by the way, I would give any woman in your shoes. This is not different for you

because you're high functioning autistic. This is just what is a good step to take if you want to do something that you're not sure how to do, but you have talent there. And that is to spend time with people that are doing what you want to do. We talked about this earlier with Ken Coleman and his book, The Proximity Principle, which we can send you as well. If you stay on the line, Kelly will send that to you. But the idea is if you spend time around people that are doing what you want to do,

you're going to learn so much about what you need to do. And most people, Brenda, are... I do learn. Huh? I have done that. Okay. I have spent time around people, and they say that my work should have been published long ago. So are you asking how to publish a book, or just in general, how to make money at your

talents? How to publish, how to get my songs out there i am not good with computers i took three years of it i was ready to bounce them down the stairs okay um i am i have had compliments and actually uh whenever I was early in my career or trying to make my career, I met Bob Singer. He's the guy who did the Flintstones, the Jetsons, the Yogi Bear, worked for Hanover Rare Productions. Cool. And he gave me a cartoon of a Flintstones elephant, and it's standing on a cliff. And it said, Brenda, would you like to be my understudy here at the studio? You see, I've got this cliff to jump over.

I did not know that that was an offer. Wow. Oh, wow. Well, here's the thing, Brenda. Whether it's that offer or something else, you have the potential, you have the talent, you have the opportunity. It might just be taking some very small, unimpressive steps. And maybe that's finding a high school student that can do the computer side of things for

you, getting you a blog or social media, publishing your work where you can start to get exposure and eyeballs because even if you publish, you need someone to sell to. So creating a little bit of an audience and certainly online is a great way to do that. And there in West Texas,

you can play a thousand different places, play your songs, you can self-publish. There's a million different things you can do. Stay on the line. I'm going to have Kelly send you my book, Business Boutique, as well. That's going to show you step-by-step marketing that you can do to get your work out there. And then watch how those small steps begin to snowball and it turns into that thing you want to do. But it might just be one small step at a time.

I want to thank producers James Child, associate producer Kelly Daniel, and my co-host, Dr. John Deloney. This is The Ramsey Show. Did you know you can listen to The Ramsey Show on your smart speaker? Just tell Alexa, Google Assistant, or Siri to play The Ramsey Show podcast. Check out all Ramsey Network shows on your smart speaker today.