The Ramsey Show - App - How Do I Get My Husband to Agree To Budget? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: December 27, 2021

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Christy Wright, Ramsey personality, is here to do this show because apparently I can't. And so she's here to co-host with me and I'm going to stumble through and we're going to pull this off.

We're here to help you with your life and with your money. It's what we do. The phone number is free and some say the advice is worth what you pay for it. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Steve's with us in Nashville. Hey, Steve, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Thank you, Dave, and thank you so very much for taking my call, sir. My pleasure. How can I help?

And good evening also to Christy. Thanks. Let's get on. Dave, I am currently, me, my wife, my mother, and my son are on a level term insurance policy. You were talking about life insurance a while ago, and this fits into it. But currently, my agent wants a couple of us to switch over to a whole life. I bet he does. Yeah. And I wanted to ask you, first of all, my mother, she's insured permanently because of her age.

When I fixed her up on a level term, she went through the two-year probation time, and she's fine. My son is 30 years old. They want him to swap over. And, of course, I'm 57. They want me to. My wife is on a 10-year level term. Her age, she's 66. And they're telling me it's going to be very difficult for her to get rewritten when hers

expires in five years. How's your money situation? I'm okay. What's that mean? I'm certainly not self-insured. Okay. You're in your 50s. How much nest egg do you have?

About 50. Okay. And how much debt do you have? I do have some debt. My home, mostly, it's about 60 owing. Not much. Okay. That's good.

And what are you doing towards retirement from this point forward? I'm not, at this point, I've not actually got a retirement plan in place. Okay. Well, obviously, you're going to need to do that, right? Okay. Right. Yes, sir. Okay.

And does your wife work outside the home? No, sir. She's disabled. And what do you make? Around $50 a year. Okay. So the purpose of life insurance is to make sure that the people left behind who are counting on the person's income are taken care of. Correct.

If, God forbid, your wife were to pass away, mathematically, you would be just fine, right? Because you're not dependent upon her to financially move forward. Now, I'm not talking about your heart wouldn't be broken. I'm not talking about we wouldn't cry. I'm not talking about those kinds of things, okay? I'm just saying mathematically. And this is the discussion of life insurance is the math part okay and so if we cancel her life insurance when it goes up it's not that big a deal okay so i wouldn't continue to buy life insurance on her once it

goes up so if it you know her term runs out or you said she had a 10-year term. When that runs out, I would just drop it. You see why? Yes, sir. Okay. Now, in your case, you're going to need life insurance to take care of her until you get this nest egg built. You're 57. You're out of debt except your home. Time to get with saving some money,

investing some money pretty aggressively for the next 10 years or so, right? Yes, sir. And let's pretend that you had $300,000 in your investments, and you get your house paid off 10 years from today, and that's all very possible if you start concentrating. Would you agree with me? Agree. Okay.

And you die. She has $300,000, a paid-for house, and no no kids at home i think she'll be okay yes sir so we're working towards self-insurance and in the meantime we prop it up with life insurance you follow the concept yes sir see the only thing whole life is good for is to make sure your agent gets a commission through your whole life that's what it's for that's why he's trying to encourage me yeah the and the the premiums are 10 times to 20 times more expensive for the same amount of life insurance okay but it's all based on the premise that you're not going to do anything to get yourself ready to not need life insurance okay so we took care of you two now let's talk about mom how old's mom mom is about 85 and um anybody depending on her income

to eat no there's none okay so why is it she's got life insurance it's just back when i lost dad dave uh he did not have insurance and it was a little difficult on the family to take care of all the arrangements now does your mom have any money she's she's uh not really she's she got twenty thousand dollars no sir no she's on a fixed income okay so she doesn't have any she lives with my fam my family, not me, but with my other family. Okay. So we need enough to bury her. Yes, sir. But that's all we really need. That's what I have on her. Okay. So you have a very small policy on her. And it's term? It is term, Dave. And what we started with her, remember, she has some underlying issues,

and they wanted to go with the two-year probation. I started with her, and that elapsed. And he told me just the other day, I met with him, he said she's insured for life because, I'm assuming, because of her age. That's strange. Okay. Well, it's probably not that expensive a policy, though, because it's not covering but $10,000 or $20,000, right?

It's really not, Dave. It's not that expensive. So it's not an issue. So we've got three of the four done. Now, your son is 30, and what he needs to do is work the baby steps, get out of debt, have an emergency fund, and 20 years from today not need insurance because he paid off his house in 15 years and because he's got $700,000, $800,000 in in his 401k and his kids are grown and gone 20 years from today he needs a 20-year level term

and he doesn't need to use your guy because your guy's a whole life guy you guys are paying too much for the stinking term but it's probably too expensive for you to move now but it's not for your son he needs to go to zanderinsurance.com and get a quote, and he'll probably find his term insurance is half what you guys are paying for it. Really? Yeah. I guess I'm not allowed to tell you who he's insured with. I don't care. Who's he with?

Farm Bureau. Okay. Farm Bureau is a wonderful company for car insurance and homeowners insurance. Yes, right. Their term prices are absolutely ludicrous. Really? Yeah. But they're great great people i got friends that work there i mean i really like the company but you don't buy life insurance there it's not they're really good though for car insurance turn their car insurance service i've been hit by people that have farm bureau and i get they take care of the car i mean they're

just they're wonderful you know and um i i'm i'm a fan of the company, but don't buy term there. No, it's a bad idea. Don't buy life insurance there. It's just too expensive because they're not really designed to be in that business. That's like something they added on to their catalog later. And they thought, well, we can make a lot of money doing this. And your guy's not a bad guy. He's just trained by those whole life guys,

and so he just doesn't know what the flip he's doing in that's in this particular subject so you got to stay away from people pushing cash value nobody believes in this whole life stuff except people that sell it everybody else in the financial world knows and understands and says no way this is the ramsey show you know i heard a sad and touching story recently zander insurance has set up a scholarship for children whose parents died without life insurance. Last year, they gave away over $165,000 to help kids avoid debt and go to college to pursue their dreams. It's touching, but also sad since it's a situation that occurs all over the country and can be avoided in so many cases. This is the reason why I talk about Zander and term life insurance every day. It's not expensive or complicated, and it's gotten even easier with many companies no longer requiring medical exams. Zander shops and compares all the top term life plans and stays with you the whole time to make sure your family is taken care of. That's why I've used and recommended them for over

20 years. Go to zander.com or call 800-356-4282. So I don't have to keep talking about these sad stories. you ever think about how much money you would have if you didn't give it all to some bank or car company in the form of payments your most powerful wealth building tool is your income what if you got your whole income back instead of giving it to someone else by getting out of debt fire sally may kick her out of the house get rid of your lexus motor credit payments what would your life look like it's possible and it doesn't have to take as long as you think it all starts with financial peace university the class that's helped nearly six million people learn the proven plan to get out of debt and become wealthy. But it's not just enough to learn the plan.

You've got to actually freaking do it. And the way you do it is starting with the budgeting app, the world's best budgeting app that's every dollar. And every dollar premium is part of the whole package. And all of this, you access it through Ramsey Plus, a Ramsey Plus membership. You can create the life where your money actually works for you instead of you just working for it time to get rid of the debt for good start your free trial of ramsey plus text trial to 33 789 that's trial to 33 7 8 9 hannah is with us in myrtle beach hi hannah welcome to the ramsey show

hello dave and christy i'm excited and terrified to talk to y'all oh don't be terrified how can we help what's going on right now um i'm looking for a little bit of advice uh my husband and i are getting out of debt for our third time um in our marriage and I can never seem to get past baby step three. I can never seem to save the emergency fund. My husband is a full-time pastor, a full-time roofer, and so he works all the time. So I take care of the finances. I take care of the budget, everything. My question is, how can I have him help me when it comes to the budget and the finances and everything? He's willing to help, but he doesn't know how to help. Um, he also does not spend any money whatsoever. So he's an extreme favor. I'm the spender. So I'm just looking for a little bit

of advice to get us onto baby step three and past baby step three. I'm so tired of feeling like I'm doing it by myself. I know this is not what you're asking, Hannah, but I want to go back to why you get yourself back into debt three different times. What's going on? Why do you keep going back into this thing? It is me just losing all power and will to not get back into debt.

I get past baby step two, and it's not huge debt like i'm not i'm not in big debt right now but it's sorry i'm very nervous that's okay your your your husband's dad was a roofer no no um my husband is a roofer no what was your husband's dad do um he right now he's working at a plant what was it what did he do when your husband was growing up um he worked in a chemical plant okay in a factory okay all right um your husband is a good man he loves god he works and he works hard he however is not functioning like your husband he's functioning like your son right you're the mommy and you make all the adult decisions and carry all the adult responsibilities he just goes to work and if you actually gently call him out on that, he will respond because he loves his wife.

And that would sound like this, honey, I need your help. I can't carry the weight of all of this by myself anymore. Number one, I can't handle the stress. Number two, when I do it by myself, we go back into that. And you work so hard. You're such a good man. But I've got to have you emotionally carry your half of the finances of this household. And here's one thing I would add, Hannah.

That's a way of saying man up. Here's one thing I would add. When you have this conversation, when you have this conversation, which is going to be so important, I want you to be extremely specific with what help looks like to you. Yes. Because if you say, help me, and he says, okay, I'll help you, and then six months goes by and you're mad. His mind help is more overtime. Yeah.

You need to be very, like, even when you say I need help, I don't even know that you know. This will be good for you to think about, okay, here's what this would look like. Does it look like paying bills? Does it look like showing up for the budget meeting? What does it look like specifically, tactically, visually? And then connect there and allow him to speak into it, obviously. But expectations have got to be crystal clear. I'm not making any more financial decisions by myself.

There you go. There's a great one. You have to help me make the financial decisions by myself you got there's a there's a great one you have to help me make the financial decisions we're going to look at the budget together and you're going to feel the strain of the bill paying with me yeah yeah because you feel the weight when the stuff is when it gets tight you get the you get the sweat in the palm of your hands and across the top of your eyebrow you get that feeling that tightness in your throat he doesn't have that feeling at all he needs that feeling it will change and it

will help you because the good news is he's a saver and so he's going to hold you accountable now the bad news is he's going to hold you accountable so your your days of being in control by yourself are about done yeah yeah you You go and be careful with what you wished for because you're going to have something to report to with all this spending and going back into debt. But it's going to be a great thing. It's going to be such a healthy conversation where you're on the same page. Let's do it. He's meeting you there. Let's do it this way.

I'm going to put you in Ramsey Plus for a year free as my gift. And the way you can phrase the conversation then is, honey, I need your help. I can't do this by myself anymore. It's wearing me out. I need you to help me carry the weight of the adult decision-making of the money. I've been doing it by myself, and I just can't do it anymore. I've got to have you help me do that. And the way we're going to start that is we're going to go through this class together right here online. We'll sit on the couch and do it after the kids go to bed. And I know you're tired. So i'm sick and tired though and so you've got to help me with this and just like if you came to him and said honey i'm sick i need you to put the kids to bed

he would do that he would do that he would carry his share of the weight he would do chores that he normally doesn't do if you asked him for help because he loves you but you need to be very specific because guys we don't do subtlety you have to tell us what it is and then say it again a couple more hundred times just well if you get him in this class together and you guys are making the budget together on every dollar and you're making your decisions together it's going to give you what you want and some things you didn't even want that are coming your way but you're gonna it's gonna change the whole thing so that'll be a way you can do it so you hold on and i'll pick up uh i'll have i'll pick up i'll have kelly pick

up and get you signed up for ramsey plus and you and you can do the stuff you're supposed to do then, and you guys get in there and get into Financial Peace University, get the every dollar budget going together, because this is what's going on. So, Christy, there's a thing, and you guys out there listening, I'm going to piss some of you off, but just get ready. It doesn't come from a mean place. It's observation, and it's not always true.

But in a lot of blue-collar families, mama takes care of the money, and daddy does the work. And that's a modeling thing of what it means to be a husband that he got from his dad. And so he moved in, and now mama's taking care of the money. But there's a – oftentimes in white-collar families, it can be the same way if you grew up in a blue-collar family. Because the generational what's taught and passed down. Exactly.

How it's taught to you who's in charge. This is what you do. Now, in your case, you grew up in a single mom's household where she's making all the decisions, and so you would never even think of not being involved in a single mom's household where she's making all the decisions and so you would never even think of not being involved in the decisions in your household right it wouldn't occur to you because of your upbringing it's interesting though because matt and i have had such interesting discussions as newlyweds and still present day of how we as a generation but also as a couple do things different than our parents did not only because of how they worked but even just uh raising kids and expectations it it all is different we have to define it for

ourselves what that's going to look like and you but and you do you do have to clarify these you do where these roles came from and rachel does a good job with that and the know yourself know your money book and the know yourself money assessment for couples that's another thing you can do is jump into that because that gets into the family of origin what how family how money was handled in the household you grew up in because that affects then how you're communicating with your spouse about it yeah so you could take that know yourself money assessment for couples you ought to you guys a bunch of you ought to take it uh you can get it at ramsey solutions in the store it's inexpensive and it's really really a powerful assessment it'll open up things for you like

cray cray man it's nuts it's it blow your mind this is the ramsey show Thank you. Christy Rife Ramsey personality is my co-host today as we talk to you about your life and your money in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions. On the debt-free stage, baby, they're here. Nick and Brody are with us, which can only mean one thing. They're debt-free. Hey, guys! Hi! Hi, Christy! Hi, Dave! Hi! Where do you guys live?

Nome, Alaska. Wow! Wow! Quite a trek! You win the furthest traveled for a debt-free Scream Award. Oh, my gosh! Wow! Very cool! And any excuse to get down south, huh? Right. We're melting. Oh, man. Well, I'm so glad you're here.

How much did you pay off? $267,845. Wow. How long did that take? Well, it took nine and a half years. Okay. And your range of income during that decade? We started off at $75,000, went up to $150,000, and then down to $124,000.

Okay. What kind of debt was this? I'm guessing with that length of time and that amount of money, you might have paid off your house. We did. Wow! Looking at weird people! How old are you two weird people? I was 35 when we paid it off. We paid it off three weeks before my 36th birthday. There you go.

And I'm 39. Ding, ding. Well done, you guys. What do you do in Nome, Alaska? I'm a court administrator. And I work for an airline. Okay. Very cool.

Now, I've been to Anchorage. Where is Nome? I can't see it in my head. It's northwest of Anchorage, about 500 miles. Oh, just a wee bit. You can only fly. North of Anchorage, Alaska. Where do you live?

North of Anchorage, yes. Okay, that'll work. Wow. Okay. Yeah, well, you can only fly half the places in Alaska. I heard there are more people that have airline pilot's license than driver's license. Might be true. Just about.

Yeah, I've heard that. So, wow, man, very cool. So what's this house worth? $220,000 was what we paid for it. It's at least $260,000 now. Yeah, very good. And was the $268,000 all the mortgage or other things too? We had about $47,000 in consumer debt when we first started.

Paid that all off. In about seven months. And then we lived life for a while. After paying off that debt, we moved. We cash flowed that move. Bought a house. Sold a house. Sold a house.

We saved for the down payment for this house and then in 2015 we bought this house and uh we really weren't focused on paying it off like we were doing our budget every month and uh we were throwing extra at the principal but i don't think either of us nick brought home a thermometer for us to fill in. Every time we paid it off, we'd fill it in a little bit much more. A lot of people do that, but it takes on a new meaning in Nome, Alaska. Well, when Nick brought it home, it just felt overwhelming. It just was – there was a lot of lines in it. It didn't seem like we were making much progress on it.

And I think when it really kicked in was December of 2018 when we decided to throw a chunk of money at it and we were at the halfway mark. Oh, I can see the light. Like, oh, we can do this. And before, we really became focused around three and a half years ago when our daughter was born, our oldest. And we were like, why are we just, you know, we're not really focused on the house. We're doing all these other things, buying gear. There's so much gear that you can buy for things in Alaska. Outdoor gear.

Packrafts and... Snow machines. Snow machines and four-wheeler. I mean, just you name it. And it's all expensive. It's not cheap. And so we'd been cash flowing those different things. And then when our daughter was born, we were like, at different times before that,

we'd kind of look at each other and be like, are you ready to pay it off? Really focus? And one of us would be like, no, look, a squirrel. I want that thing over there. Let's do that thing. thing over there let's do that thing then we'll do it yeah then we'll do it but once our daughter was born we really dug in and uh and we paid it off in february of this year so how does it feel to be 35 39 years old with a paid for house i don't know if it's really sunk in yet we just paid it off in february and And so April 1st was our first budget meeting where we didn't have a mortgage payment for March or April. And so I think it's starting to sink in, but we haven't fully realized it.

That's a lot of money. Yeah. That's a lot of money. Wow. Good for you. I'm so proud of you. Thanks. Very cool. Who are your biggest cheerleaders? Oh, man. That's a lot of money. Wow. Good for you. I'm so proud of you. Thanks.

Very cool. Who were your biggest cheerleaders? Oh, man. You know, we were pretty private about the journey. We've certainly talked to our friends about it, and the friends that we've talked to have all been like, wow, you guys are doing it. That's awesome.

But our parents have been supportive. My mom's taken Financial Peace University. We've taught a couple of financial university courses. Thank you. That keeps you on track. It really did. When you start teaching it, you have to do it. Yeah.

You could go to the class and sort of do it, but when you teach it, you have to do it. Yeah. It forced us to do an insurance double check. Oh, there you go. Yeah, we had some updating to do on all that, too. Yeah, very good, very good. What do you tell people the secret to getting out of debt is?

For me, with the house, it was really patience because we had been cash-flowing things for a while, and having that large number and just breaking it down into small chunks and being able to just be patient and wait. Um, yeah. How do you eat an elephant a bite at a time? Yeah. That thermometer one line at a time. Yeah.

That's so interesting too, because research shows that seeing progress is the most motivating thing. And once you guys got to the halfway mark like it gave you that extra push so it's just so cool to see how those small things all added up to you guys sticking with it wait well done that's amazing yeah you just won't you won't stick with it if you don't see the progress and that's that's good the incremental wins that's so good you guys you did it you are dead free house and everything. Completely debt-free. You're so weird. I love it. And you brought the kiddos with you to do the debt-free scream.

What are their names and ages? This is Lydia. She is three and a half years old. Sweet. And this is Adrian. She turned one a week after we paid off the house. Wow. That's awesome.

We've got a pretty Lydia in our family, too. Oh, very nice. Not much older than that. Oh, yeah. Very cool, you guys. Congratulations. We've got a copy of Rachel Cruz's book for you, her latest New York Times bestseller, Know Yourself, Know Your Money.

Nick and Brody and Lydia and Adrian, $268,000 paid off in nine and a half years, 75 to 150 to 124. House and everything, they are weird. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Good job, you guys. This is how it's done.'s so cool wow gosh her face it was like just the

joy it was just like you could feel it oh my god well what people don't realize is when you don't have that payment it's a math thing for a while it's kind of an emotional thing for a while but when it's gone it's a spiritual Yeah. You feel something click in the spirit, you know, and you're like, I had no idea I was a slave and now I'm not. Yeah. The borrower is slave to the lender. There's something. Yeah. The freedom in that.

There's a release. Yeah. Like that breath of cold mountain air. Yeah. You probably don't want to use cold air in their example with Nome, Alaska. But, yeah, there's that sense of cleanliness going down into your lungs. You know what I mean? It's like, wow, I'm in a whole different place.

Yeah, because you are. Yeah. Yeah, you're set up to win. And that's just the first step. That's right. You're living like no one else so that later you can live and give like no one else. So you can put yourself in a position to win like you've never done before and completely change those baby's family tree.

What great, what a great young couple. Rock stars, man. That's awesome. That is so fun. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. Christy Wright, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Mary's in Chattanooga. Hi, Mary.

How are you? Hi, Dave and Christy. I'm a nervous wreck. How are you? Hi, Dave and Chrissy. I'm a nervous wreck. How are you? Oh, I'm glad you're here. You're okay. No trouble. We've never lost a patient.

You'll be okay. I love it when you say that. I've been to watch podcasts like a podcast addict, which is a reason it's called Podcast Addict. It's quite addictive. Well, thank you. How can we help today, hon? Well, crisis mode.

I guess we call that storm mode. And I just got my top-end credit report. It is 30 years of wreckage. Student loans, student loans, student loans, credit cards, credit cards, credit cards, et cetera, to the tune of about 42 grand. And 42 grand to me is like a bazillion grand right now because I'm in a budget where I'm like in a budget freeze if you will just there's not enough money to go around at all what do you make well i'm on disability i get 7.94 a month that's to cover everything my rent takes 6.20 so the math is not good right now right now i'm sorry you have how much coming in on disability?

$794 a month, about $9,000 a year, $8,000 to $9,000 a year. And rent right now where I'm paying is $620 a month, which is about $6,000 plus a year. So how are you eating? Yeah, how are you living on that? Well, I'm eating a lot and minimalizing very much and shopping in my pantry when I have one. Food banks once a month, we get a food bank delivery once a month. Yeah, I don't have transportation and job.

I'm trying to just try and address what I can. I'm, you know, I'm just trying to figure this whole, how do I get a job? How do I get on my feet? How do I get myself? This book has, like, I got this book and read the total money makeover in eight hours straight with potty breaks and food. And, um, got my sense of humor still. But, um, yeah, I'm just really stressed out. Um, this has separated my marriage. It's just caused it's just been a disaster this past 12 months.

I've been, I've lost four relatives, a friend, and my spouse is separated from me right now. So it's not a good year. That was even, I didn't even, COVID never even came on the radar. I was done with everything else and trying to do this. How old are you? Yeah, I don't. 51. What's the nature of your disability?

Mental and physical. PTSD, chronic back pain. So I'm trying to find something I can do, cope with, and survive. Yeah, when did you hurt your back? Well, I've got four grown kids. I've had a set of twins. I did a lot of inappropriate, I guess you would call, posture issues with lifting and bending.

I've been a factory worker. I've just done everything from retail to fast food to just work really hard. I understand. Within the last four years in 2016, I went into treatment. I've had four years of pain and it's over now, so that's changed my life. And apparently, I woke up, my wake-up call to my budget. Congratulations. My budget was out of shape, too.

Hey, wait a minute. Stop a minute. You've been dry how long? Age 29, 16. Way to go. I'm proud of you. That's a big deal. It was that story in the big book, page 289, fear of fear,

when I thought it was my husband, it was an alcoholic, and that was me. And that was the thing I never wanted to be because I grew up around that all over the place. It's all over my family. I'm proud of you. So that's a win. Let's mark that down in the win column because you got a bunch of stuff in the lose column right now we need a few things that

was all my higher power i had very little to do with it except for i said about the birthday because i'm born i didn't create myself but i'm celebrating so here's what we here's what you got to do um you need to start laying out uh small goals very very small goals that you can do like the one day at a time idea okay um and we're going to just do that and with the money side of things and with the um uh with the career side of things so what we've got to do is we have to move you towards an income so we're going to send you a copy of christy's book business boutique because i think that probably the best way to work around a bad back and uh and uh all the things you've had coming at you is to come up with an idea that you do as a small business that you can do with these limitations.

But a lot of people, their very limitations lead them to their best career ever. Yes. Yeah. And while we're at it, Dave, let's send her a live stream ticket to Business Boutique. I think that might just be the injection of hope that she needs right now in this season of life. Yeah. It'll come up in October and you'll be able to watch that.

We can do both of those things. And then, Mary, the other thing I want you to do is just listening to your voice and all the things that have come at you in the last couple of years while you've remained sober. Congratulations again. Yes. But I mean, you've got a marriage issue. You've lost family and friends. you've definitely got an income issue uh you're definitely struggling on the whole money piece uh and but there's not a magic pill for 700 income so we've got to do something that changes that for you to have a prosperous future um and because the 620 rent is not out of line until you tell me you only have 700 coming in. So we've got to buy lights and food and water,

and we take care of food and lights and water before we take care of anything else, and rent before we take care of anything else. So I think you're going to need more community in your life than you have had, and a higher quality community. And if you haven't searched out and plugged into a good church in your area i think a great church in your area would consider it an honor to walk alongside you and help you with some of these transitions and some of these uh things that you've got to get started but you got to have somebody with their arm around you a little bit saying you can do it on a daily basis and i'm not going to be able to do that every day from the radio other than just continue to put the podcast out.

But you're going to have to change something that creates an income. And in order to do that, you're going to have to have healed more from a lot of these blows you've taken, and you've taken some serious blows. And it is normal to be hurting when you go through all the things you've taken and you've taken some serious blows so uh and it is normal to be hurting when you go through all the things you've been through yeah the other thing i would say dave is as she does this as she starts to create more income i believe it's going to inject hope and confidence into how she approaches everything because you can just hear it in her voice she's just down she's just down and discouraged and defeated and this is wrong and this is wrong i

mean she just breezed past being sober that long. And so just continue to build on the wins, add to the wins column. I love the way, even the visual of that. And then when you start getting some income, whatever that is, whether it's a home, you know, a work from home situation, a part-time job, a side business from home, whatever that looks like for you, I think that's going to do a world not only for your finances, but for your confidence. Like, okay, I can do this. I can get myself back. I can get my life back. I can get it together. And that's going to help how you give you the momentum to attack the next goal, the next step, the next thing and propel you forward. Yeah. I've got several friends. I've got two good friends that have unbelievably painful chronic back pain.

24-7 they hurt. 24-7. And it's very real. But even they find something they can do through the fog of the pain. And we had a young couple on here that was making $3,000 a month doing Uber Eats 20 hours a week. Right. And so just get in the car and go deliver food. Right.

I mean, it's not a big mental strain. But $3,000, change your freaking world, girl. Right, right. Change your world. And so that's the kind of stuff I want you to be thinking about. Anything like that to just get yourself, get your back up against the wall and get yourself away from that wall a little bit. Get the wolf push back. And so we'll send you Christy's book.

I'm also going to send you her devotional, 40 Days Back to You. And because, as you said, your higher power, God carried you through this process on being sober, and that's just so vital. And, honey, you call us back if you need help as you go through this, but you've got it. What your biggest crisis is is your income crisis, and all of the blows that you've taken are affecting your ability

because you're human, you're hurting, to see your potential income out there. And it's not Pollyanna. And in the meantime, get some community around you. Get a church to help you. They'll help you. There's great churches in Chattanooga, Tennessee, lots of great churches. So you hold on. Kelly will pick up, and we'll send you the devotional

and the business boutique book and a ticket to the live stream as well. But that's not till october so she's gotta do something before october for sure good question mary thank you for calling honey and you call again if you need some help this is the ramsey show This is James Childs, producer of The Ramsey Show. Did you know The Ramsey Show is one of the most popular podcasts in the world? Subscribe or follow today wherever you listen to podcasts.