The Ramsey Show - App - How Do I Get My Wife on Board With My Goals? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: May 7, 2021

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🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is The Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm John Deloney, joined here by best-selling author, brilliant friend, and a pretty good mom, Miss Rachel Cruz. Hope you're doing well, Rachel. John, always good to be with you. You're pretty good at it. I'm pretty good. Give me like a six out of ten.

I wasn't going to go six. I was going to go five. Six is on the other side. Being generous. But you're doing pretty good. Thank you. Thank you. You're doing pretty good.

So we're going to take your calls. If you've got relationship questions, money questions, marriage questions, whatever, anything, But you're doing pretty good. Thank you. You're doing pretty good. So we're going to take your calls. If you've got relationship questions, money questions, marriage questions, whatever, anything and everything in between, give us a shout at 888-825-5225. It's 888-825-5225. Rachel, how are we doing? Pretty good. We had a fun little chat right before we got on the air. Should we do it?

Yeah. Okay. So John and I. So again, we'll take all your questions. Money, relationships, marriage, parenting, and both of our sets of kids. Obviously, we always talk about kids, and they're just funny. Kids are funny. They're crazy and wild, and they're funny.

So we said, okay, let's do two truths and a lie from just this week. Things your kids have said. Okay. Go first. Do I do all three? Yeah. Okay. Might have like just a little bit of commentary with each one.

Bring it. So is this a truth or a lie? Yesterday, I went to get in the van and my three-year-old Caroline had had a Sharpie and drew on the seat of our van. And I went through and told her that mom was frustrated. I mean, I was mad. I was like, Caroline, frustrated and angry. I was like, mom, you know, I was like, and Caroline, I'm not mad that like the stuff is ruined.

Stuff is going to get lost. Stuff is going to break. Stuff is going to get ruined in our lives. Our joy is not in our stuff. It's the fact that mommy and daddy work really hard and mom's about to leave for work to work really hard to make money, to buy things in

our lives things nice things like this van this was very expensive this was a lot of money and we want to take care of our things and the three-year-old looks at me and says i want a snack i'm gonna go with the truth on that one uh truth yeah uh number two we moved caroline from a crib to a big girl bed three weeks ago. One night we tried keeping her in the room with a lot of different theories of how to keep her in. And she appeared outside or beside our bed five times in one night. And the last time I said, Caroline, you have to stay in your room. And she looked at me.

She said, I will always get out. If you know Rachel, that came directly from your soul you've recreated yourself congratulations that's for sure true actually it was a false it was the story's all true but she didn't say that she just kept coming down oh man i won i did win and then the last truth was walking to school three days ago it's all caroling stories yes uh and we had to cross the sidewalk across the street to walk to school and she refused to she refused to move and i'm in the middle with all this you know school traffic people take oh yeah and i'm like i have charles in the stroller i'm like we have to go caroline caroline come on come on and she just stood there i will not come

and i was like why are you protesting me right now there's all these people looking at us please come so she did say that. A fellow Enneagram 8 in your life makes me happy. Oh my gosh. Because that's what the crew slash Ramsey family needs is another one. It's another Enneagram. It's so good. It's another challenger in our lives because we don't have one in the family.

Okay, so here's mine. Okay, here's mine. So we're pretty routine driven in my house just because my wife has to live with me. And so every night we're putting Joseph're putting Josephine to get bed and, and my son Hank. And I went, I told Josephine, I was by myself this night cause she was bringing Hank home from the little league game. And I told her, Hey, go brush your teeth. And then I'm going to come in and kiss you goodnight.

Yeah. And so I started walking in there and she was hanging on her, um, bunk bed and I walked in and she said, Hey daddy, when you come in to kiss me, I'm going to jump off this and I walked in, and she said, hey, daddy, when you come in to kiss me, I'm going to jump off this and kick you in the face. That is true. I remember Josephine.

Yeah, that super happened. Okay, or, or, and, you know, that hurt my feelings for a second. Like, why are you going to kiss me in the face? And then I actually thought,

right then in her room, one day, somebody's going to lean in. And say, I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you. why are you going to kiss me in the face? And then I actually thought, right then in her room, one day, somebody's going to lean in and say, I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you. And she's going to remember, nope, I'm going to kick you in the face. Or, I said, hey, Josephine, come here. I've got to brush your hair. And she's like, no. And I said,

Josephine, please come here so we can brush your hair. Like, we've got to do this. And she looked at me with this like, tearful frustration. And she looked at me with this tearful frustration. And she said, and I quote, but daddy, I'm an owl. I had no response to that. I didn't know what to say. So something a kid would say.

I don't know. It's true. That happened. I would think. Okay. So now it's a lie. But go. What was your lie?

Oh, no. I just had three truths. I don't know how to play this game. It's three truths. Okay. The lie is she looked at me and said, Daddy, you're the best. That's the lie. That's the lie.

That's the lie. Mom, you're the greatest mom in the entire world. She did. We love everything you do. She did. And my daughter's five, by the way. She did come in the other day and say, Hey, Dad, I just need you to, like, Daddy, Mommy's my favorite parent.

To which I was like, that's great. She's clearly the best. And then she said, and I love Hank more than you. And I To which I was like, that's great. She's clearly the best. And then she said, and I love Hank more than you. And I said, you know what? He's great. And then she said, and I love Stella more than you. Who, by the way, is our dog. Stella's the dog.

And I just, it's cool, man. It's cool. None of these, we talked about none of this in grad school, by the way. It's ridiculous. That's it. God love it. Okay. No.

So we're great at parenting, obviously. So just ask us any questions. So going back to the original comment, Rachel's pretty good at this. I, on the other hand, am not. Okay. So we are taking your calls on life and we're taking your calls on money. We're taking your calls on anything that you want to talk about. 888-825-5225.

Rachel, in all seriousness, you have your oldest one's five, is that right? Just turned six. Just turned six. Yeah, a few weeks ago. And you've all the way down to, how old is Charles now? 18 months. 18 months. What's the biggest shocker for you? Like your pre-picture, the picture

you had of this is what life is going to be like with three kids. Now you've got three, six to 18 months. It's just amazing how three kids can feel like 21 kids to me. Yes. So like one kid I've realized, it's so unfortunate because when you have your first kid, you're stressed out.

You don't know what you're doing. And you're like, oh, the questions, am I doing this right? So you are stressed. When you look back, you're like, it's like an accessory. Like one kid is like, just put it on my hip and just go. I can go. Two kids,

you're like, all right, this is like the, like I gotta, you gotta figure out. And then you just throw that third one in and suddenly they just multiply.

when you go from man to man to zone, it gets all harder. Yeah, it's been, it's been intense. It's been intense. So.

What's your favorite part of having three kids? Um, I'm think, I, I have, I love, obviously we can't control this, but I love that I've had each gender. So the two girls and then a boy. So I love, as a mom, my heart towards Charles is so different than the girls. You just feel this different.

You love your son more than your daughters? A little bit. I mean, he's kind of my favorite right now. He's so snuggly. Hey, James and Kelly, if you'll clip that and just send it to me. No, no, no. I'm kidding, girls. If you listen to this in 30 years, it's a joke.

No, they're going to listen to it this weekend, so I'm going to send it to them. If y'all will clip that, that'd be fantastic. No, but a little, I don't know. I just, I didn't think my heart's, it's amazing that your heart just, whether boy or girl, each kid, you're like, oh my gosh, I still like would literally jump in front of a car for you right now, right now. Like, I would. It's amazing. The pre-kid thing for me was this idea that it's going to be an accessory. It's going to be a thing to do.

If I had known then what I know now, which is I had another level in my heart for capacity for love. I didn't know that existed. And all of a sudden you look at this kid and then they start talking to you and they start laughing with you. And suddenly, yeah, you've got this whole other part of you that I didn't know existed. Totally.

And I love it. It's awesome. I love it. And by the way, you can have both my kids if you like them too. Hey, we're taking your calls on life and money. 888-825-5225.

It's John Deloney with my good friend, Rachel Cruz. And we'll be right back here on The Ramsey Show. As we continue to face challenging times, I hear that a lot of you have been calling Zander Insurance to see if term life insurance plans are still available. The good news is the insurance companies are starting to loosen up the restrictions that they had put in place at the start of the pandemic, making coverage available to even more people. So, if you haven't dealt with this yet, I'm not sure what you're waiting for. Regardless of what's going on in the world, we're going to get through it.

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and we're taking your calls on life and money at 888-825-5225. Let's go to Matthew in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Matthew, what's going on? Hey, how are you guys doing? Thanks for taking my call. You bet. What's going on, man? How can we help?

Oh, yes. So I'm trying to make a long story short. I'm just trying to get the best advice just coming from my heart and everything. But me and my wife, we've been married six years. In the last, well, three or four years of wanting to do the baby steps, she has been very... She will agree to things, we'll set an agreement,

and then she will just break the agreement. Now she's getting very house hungry. So I have been wanting to pay off debt and then get an emergency fund and get a house. I've been even willing to compromise, go 50-50. She'll agree to it and then she'll change her mind. And then when I ask her about it, she'll tell me, you can do whatever you would like to do. So what's your question, man?

So I guess just on how to, as far as what to do in this situation, as far as just beginning more on the same page with life and money goals. Yeah. Just for the reason I've tried everything, and I feel like I am sort of at the end of my rope because I just feel like we can never compromise. Yeah. So Matthew, so for her,

when you guys set something together and she says, okay, yeah, I'll do that and then she doesn't do it, what is her main reason for not doing it and what are the goals? Is it she's not living on a budget? Is it that you want to pay off this debt and you need this amount of money in the bank to do that, but then she spends it?

Like, what are the things that you're trying to do that she is saying she will do and then she doesn't? So we have wrote out a budget together. She agrees that will look that looks good. That looks good. But then she'll come back to me and say, I don't really like the budget. I will give her, say, I'll give her like $100 more spending than me. I mean, I'm very generous of what I'm doing just to work together more. But she just comes back at me and says, I don't want to do it. I can't live my life like this. And why, Matthew? Why? Why can she not do it?

Why? Is it because she wants to spend whatever she wants? She doesn't want to be accountable to you? Why? She feels very controlling, even though I say it's not being controlling. It's about controlling our money of where it's going so that we can reach our goals. Well, I'll be curious what you say because even Matthew,

I'll be on her side for just a split second, Matthew, because I even heard you say, I give her an extra $100, you know. So you have a pronoun problem there, Matt, that this is your house and your money that you're willing to share with her if she'll get on board with you.

And that may not be what's happening, but that's the language you're using. And it was enough that me and Rachel both went, ugh, right? Does this happen in other areas of your life besides the budget? Yeah, there's been some trust issues with me. I've been going to therapy for it. I started having feelings for a co-worker, more of like a work-wife type of thing. I've gone to therapy for it. I feel like that's another part where she can't forgive me. Nothing physically happened, but just having those feelings for that. So I think that was another big issue.

And I've been working on it. Well, my guess here is that was fruit that was grown on a tree of a relationship that's had cracks and fissures and all sorts of communication challenges and unmet needs. And we could unpack that all day. At the end of the day, it sounds like your wife has had to do what many, many folks in relationships have to do or feel they have to do is they start creating an alt universe for their own safety, for their own space, because they don't feel safe where they're at.

They either don't have trust in their partner. They don't feel like that their husband or wife is telling the truth. They're going to be there for them. Whatever the narrative may be, they've just got to start creating another universe. And then when somebody like you shows up once a month and says, hey, here's how you're going to spend your money, man, she's already created another world. And so what I would tell you is your marriage is on life support right now um not because you did what because you had a uh you know a relationship with somebody at work but because man there's deep-seated challenges in the roots of this thing and it's you're going to focus on that particular issue you're going to focus on the fact that your

budget's not all that is fruit of a tree that's dying okay and so what i want to tell you is y'all need to get into counseling together and not for you to go work on a thing y'all need to get there together and get to the bottom of your relational disconnection there brother um this is an issue that sounds like it's about money it's not it's about something that's i was gonna say it's amazing how many life problems marriage problems masquerade themselves as money problems right it's not a budget problem. Matthew, you hit it right on the head and I appreciate your honesty. I appreciate you just saying it because I know the regret in your voice and the decisions you made.

But it is a process. Lisa Turkers, I heard her say with forgiveness, it's a decision and a process. You can decide to do it, but man, it can be a process. And as John said, I mean, yes, going to therapy together will be huge. And for her to go on her own, she has a road that she has to heal on Matthew. I

mean, that is very real. And you do as well. So there's just a lot of work to do under the surface. And then the beautiful thing is the fruit of that, when you guys work on that together, separate and then together in the marriage, then things like a money issue or a parenting issue come up and you're on the same team but you're not gonna be able to get a at this point a budget together uh and working together on your money it's probably not going to happen it's not going to happen soon you guys have to work on your marriage first so i get this i get this question a lot rachel on my show i want to walk you through, Matthew, what this is going to look like. This is going to look like you telling your wife, hey, I want to have a conversation

about a future, and it's a positive one. That way she doesn't think, oh, no, what's coming. And I want to do that tomorrow night. I want to do that tomorrow morning. I like morning meetings because people aren't tired. I like breakfast ones. Some people, Anthony O'Neill, everybody likes to have dinner, hard conversations. And I want you to take your wife out somewhere that you get out of the side of your house. It's a new environment. It's a new context.

And I want you to tell her, I love you and I want this marriage to work. And I think there's a lot of challenges that are all through this thing. Would you be willing to go to counseling with me, to go see somebody? And not that we got to fix this and fix that, that's broken, I need you to do this better,

but no, no, no, we need to get to the bottom of this thing and say, how can we excavate what was, because y'all got to build something new. The analogy is always the twin towers, right? You can't take all that glass and twisted metal and rebuild those same towers with those materials. You've got to clean the whole thing out, get an architect, get new engineers, design something beautiful and new that's actually stronger than what it was.

So this is a cool moment, but it's a hard moment. And see if she is willing to rebuild something from the floor up with you, man, from the basement up. And I would say it's an encouraging process, even though it's a lot of work. So you can say this on the marriage end. You can say this with your money. Those of you listening that want to do better with your money, man, it is a process to learn new habits, to learn new skills, to learn new ways of communication, to learn on the money side how to budget. It's all these things that you're learning that are new.

You've got to grieve the crap and mistakes you did in the past. 100%. Yes. The shame and the guilt are going to keep grieve the crap and mistakes you did in the past. A hundred percent, yes. The shame and the guilt are going to keep knocking on the door and dealing with that. But gosh, the work, it's a lot of work. It's a lot of pain. It's a lot of being uncomfortable.

It's not fun all the time. But you're doing good work. Just because it's hard doesn't mean it's wrong. Almost the reverse. The harder it gets, the more you know. Yes, and the depth of the change, Matthew, in your marriage, and then as a result, working as a team and winning financially is just like a cherry on top, right, as kind of a branch off of that.

It's a beautiful thing, and all of you listening, that's the story. That's why we do The Ramsey Show, is for redemption. Whether it's your marriage, your parenting, your money, you can change the way you've been doing things for the better. You can take those bricks out of your backpack that you carry and you can begin to pave a new road with them. And that road is

what your kids are going to walk on. That's what your community is going to walk on. This stuff isn't lost. I love that word redeem. You redeem that nonsense from the past. Man, you built something totally new. So Matthew, balls in your court, brother. Hope you'll take her out tonight, take her out tomorrow

and say, if you're all in, I'm all in and we're going to do this together and it's going to start with you and me going to counseling and building something new.

Thanks for your call, man. Thanks for your vulnerability and your bravery. We'll be right back on The Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. This is The Ramsey Show, and on the debt-free stage is David and Courtney, and it looks like, it doesn't look like, there's only one reason y'all are on that stage, you're debt-free! Yes. Congrats, guys!

Amazing! So, tell us your story. how much debt have you guys paid off um so my now husband we just got married tuesday um tuesday is this your honeymoon it is oh my gosh i'm so yeah so a couple years ago um i found the financial peace university was offered through my work. And I was like, okay, this is great. And he's actually in the financial realm. So he's been telling me all these finance tips and stuff. I'm like, that doesn't make any sense. I don't understand. And then I found the Financial Peace.

And I started to go to these classes. And I was like, oh, my gosh, David, you don't understand. Like, these are so cool. He's like, I've literally been telling you these things. I'm like, yeah, but he said it in a way that I understood. And I was like, I like it because like the Dave Ramsey program, not just only told me how to manage my money, but like how God told us how we should manage our money.

So how much did you pay off? $13,075. And how long did it take you? 11 months. Girl, you did it? Yeah. In less than a month, you're like, I'm doing it. Oh, yeah.

Actually, it was supposed to take a lot longer, but it was just being diligent, putting anything that came our way towards it. Money came up in ways I didn't think of, like Christmas or birthday, stuff like that you don't think about. It was just, oh, here's another $200. Here's another $200. And it actually cut back the time to pay off by like six months. Oh, wow.

Isn't that funny? I've heard so many people on the stage or doing these calls say that. They say, and then I got a raise, or then I ended up with this amount of money. It's so interesting, and I feel like that can happen in our life, but when we're not intentional with it, it just kind of floats by. But the fact you had a plan, you're like, oh, no, no, no. I get to put this here, this here. And it,

and it just fast forwards the whole timeline. How much were you making? What was your, your salary over this time? So I started making 17,000 roughly. And then I did get a promotion during that time also. And I made up to 32,000 and actually two months after I paid off all my debt, I got another promotion.

Amazing. Congrats, Courtney. That's so great. So you did this all on your own? Cause obviously you just guys. Congrats, Courtney. Thank you. That's so great. So you did this all on your own because obviously you guys just got married a few days ago. It's just wild.

Oklahoma City, is that where the wedding and everything was? It was more closer to Tulsa. Okay, okay, okay. Awesome. That's where she's from. Okay, amazing.

And so David, for the last year or two, you've been the second David in her life, right? Yes. Number two to Dave. Right? You're a financial guy.

You've been saying all this stuff. Yeah. And then this other Dave shows up and speaking into her other ear. Tell us how you've walked alongside her during this. So we've been each other's accountability partners through it. So while she was walking through it, I was walking through it myself as well. So we both ended up debt-free. I have a little bit bigger shovel.

So while she was working through her baby step number two, I was working through three and number four. And so right now, when she got married, we're now on four, five, and six. Wow. Amazing, you guys. That is so exciting. What a way to start off a marriage, too. So for you, what was the... Because you were planning

a wedding while getting out of debt. So what was the hardest part of this past year for you? I think the hardest part was really trusting my future and now spouse to save for the things that I thought were going to be important when he understood that, all right, I'm going to have to put more money towards the wedding because she can't right now. So it was like, I, that was the most stressful part was I only had two to three months of saving to pay for the wedding. Most of it was he was doing by himself. So it was a lot of trust there.

Yeah, for sure. And our parents were very generous. And we got to save and we actually got paying for our honeymoon on cash. Yeah, cash flowed the entire thing. Amazing. So a year ago, as you started this, what changed in your heart? I know you said you took Financial Peace University. a few things clicked, but like, what was the bottom line of like, okay, I can hear things that it can sound great, but to actually

do it is a different level of commitment. So it's a bigger thing to hold the whole solution is eventually I want to be a stay-at-home mom. And that's something that we were really thinking and talking about is like, I want to stay at home, but I can't do that with $13,000 of debt and having one income. So this was the biggest deciding thing is like, I want to have kids and I want to be able to raise them up and I want to be able to teach them the teachings that we are brought up on. And we don't have beautiful yet, but one day we will be able to do it in a way that's not a burden to either one of us. So huge.

Having that why for people in this journey is like one of the most important things and that's a very honorable why. I love that. So when people listen to Debt Free Screams or watch them,

I know they often think, oh my gosh, I don't make $170,000. You made $17,000 for part of this journey and you topped out at a whopping $32,000, right? What would you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? You made it happen with a hard salary. It is not a math problem. That's what Dave says in the financial piece. It's not. It's a, I'm going to do this and I'm going to figure out a way how. And it does, it happens. And I don't know who or where I heard this from, but it's like,

you've been trying to do so much with a hundred percent of your income. But then like when you give God 10%, like he can do so much with 10% and you can, that you could have done with a hundred. Like it, he just makes a way that if you're being diligent and you're just doing what you're supposed to do one foot in front of the other, it happens. I can't explain it. I don't know how, but it just does. Who are your biggest cheerleaders? Definitely my now husband.

Father David. Way to go, man. Yes. And I think Khalees Matt. She's the one that got us into a financial piece as a couple. Yeah, as a couple because our church offered it after I had just finished. And she is not just only on fire for the Lord, but on fire for just being compassionate towards people and giving them away, like preaching the message of hope.

So she was a huge cheerleader, and so I hope she's going to be watching this later. And so as a young couple, talking to couples who have been doing this for a long time or who are thinking about getting married or have a wedding coming up, tell them what it's like to be cash flow in your honeymoon and you're going to land back at home completely debt-free starting this new adventure together. It's going to, it's like really,

when I got here, I was like, oh my gosh, this is what we've been working for. This is the dream. We're doing it. It was really stressful and really hard. There was a lot of times where I did want to quit. I would just log on to the website, hear some other people give some words of encouragement. It's worth it at the end.

It's definitely worth it. Do you have anything to add? No, it was just awesome to do whatever we wanted and how we wanted it and not have to worry about having to bill to pay at the end of it. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so we've talked about how it's not just math, right? You've said that a couple of times in this call, which is so true. So quickly, give me one or two adjectives of emotions of how you felt in debt

and then how you feel right now standing on the stage. Because again, it's not just the math, the math that works in your favor now because you don't have debt, but there's an emotional change too. Um, I would say like being in debt, it was always trying to think of like the next thing, like always feeling behind, feeling behind. You can't get caught up. And then being on the other side of it, like, we have the chance.

We have a chance now. Like, we have a hope, and we can do things that we've only ever talked about. Yeah, yes. I love that. All right, so this is the big moment. We got David and Courtney. Mostly Courtney, but David joined here at the end. From Oklahoma City, paid off $13,075 in 11 months

doing their debt-free scream. Count it down. Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Woo! So awesome. I love it. The newlywed couple cash flowed the wedding,

cash flowed the honeymoon. Which people say is impossible. It's not real. It can't be done right. There's no way. There's no way. Man, and starting off marriage on the same page, what a gift. And starting off their debt-free journey making $17,000.

That's the one I can't wrap my head around. I would even have tried. I know, right? I think it's a lot of courage to say, I don't care what my starting line is. I'm just going to start chipping away at this thing. She killed it. She made off $13,000. I know she got bumped up to $32,000 in the middle of it, but it's amazing.

And I have to believe. Courtney, you're amazing. I have to believe that when you start getting intentional, however small it is, $17,000, your boss notices your intentionality. Your spouse 17 grand, your boss notices your intentionality, your spouse, your boyfriend, girlfriend notices your intentionality, your friends, your community, and then suddenly you become somebody that they want to do business with, they want to work with, they want to be in a relationship with because it's just intentionality breeds intentionality. Good for you, good for you, David and Courtney.

Debt free, paying it off, rock stars. This is The Ramsey Show. You can view David and Courtney. Debt free, paying it off, rock stars. This is The Ramsey Show. I'm John Deloney, joined with bestselling author Rachel Cruz, taking your calls on life and money. Give us a call at 888-825-5225 that's 888-825-5225 let's go to joseph in hattiesburg joseph what is going on well i am in a bind um well i'm 20 years old i own uh two businesses as well as ebay business

um one's a startup but it's not going to be open here soon. But the big one is my vending business. I am $179,000 in debt. That's down from a quarter of a million this time last year. My question to you is, since I'm barely making it through, I mean, there's bills I have not been able to pay this year and parts of last year. I have a CD as well as an IRA account worth between the two, $142,000. Would it be smart for me to cash out that CD, sell my stock, pay off the big owner finance loan, which is $107,000, save that $20,000 in interest,

and be able to manage those payments better at that time after selling. Okay, Joseph, a couple questions. You said you have $142,000 in CDs and an IRA, correct? Yes. And how much? $64,000 in the CD. Say again? $64,000 in the CD and then $79,000 in the IRA.

Okay. And then tell me the rest of your debt that you have, even personal debt. So car loans, credit cards, student loans. Sure. Well, I have a full ride to college, so I don't have any student loans, thank the Lord. But I have $107,000 in owner finance in the vending business. I owe the bank through other business loans, $63,000.

And then I have $9,000 in minor debt, lawyers, CPA, a couple other things. Okay. Joseph, so what made you get in? You're 20 years old, you said, right? Yes, ma'am. Yeah. You saw the opportunity and you just ran off to the side of the cliff. Yeah, I was going to say, what caused you to get into almost $200,000 of business debt?

Well, I actually bought my first business when I was 16. It was a little gumball business. Bought it for $8,000. Brought in like $1,000 every three months. It was just a starting point. And then right before the pandemic in 2019, in October, I saw a business for sale for over a quarter million dollars. I think it was $200,500. I cannot talk.

I'm so sorry. No, you're fine. You're fine. $250,000. And I jumped on the opportunity. I was able to get him to owner finance, which is the only reason I was able to get it. Of course, I don't have really a lot of credit at this time. Okay, okay.

But I've always loved doing things like this. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so what income are you making currently? I'm putting everything into it. I have a personal job on top of this business. I'm bringing in about $50,000 a year. $50,000? Right under $50,000.

Yes, ma'am. $50,000, okay. But that mainly goes to personal expenses of living, rent, et cetera. But what do you make total a year? How much will you make this year? $50,000 or more? Slightly less than $50,000. Slightly less than $50 Slightly less than 50.

Okay. And is that, that's gross, huh? So my guess is you're a smooth talker and so you're going to make 50 grand, but you're going to take home half that? Roughly, yes, sir. Okay. So Joseph, what I would do if I were you, I would not touch the IRA because you're going to pay taxes on that when you cash it out early because you're not at retirement age.

So I wouldn't touch that. I would cash out everything else. The CD I would cash out today of $64,000. Any other money you have, I would cash out. I would leave $1,000 for an emergency fund and I would throw everything else at this debt. And the beautiful thing is the two, the $9, the 9,000 and the 63, I know you only have 64, but you could probably get these two paid off fairly quickly considering you have 64,000 in that

CD. And then that 107,000, I mean, that's equivalent to people's student loans, right? I mean, that's a student loan we hear on the show a lot. So with your income, you're a hustler, which I love. You work hard. You find the way to make deals. You can make things happen. And so I want you to be able to do that with your income. I want you to expand your income. I want you to work like crazy because you're not in school, correct?

I want to make sure I got that. I am in school. I'm a full-time student, 15 hours. You are in school. Okay, I'm so sorry. I missed that.-time student, 15 hours. You are in school. Okay. I'm so sorry. I missed that. Yep. So for you, but you have a scholarship. So I would say, I mean, yeah, I would, how much longer do you have to graduate? I have two years. Two more years. Okay. Then I'm sorry, I'm going to change my answer, Joseph. I think I would pause on this

and I would get through school. I think your priority right now is to get through debt-free, even though you have a scholarship and all of that, but just in case life happens, that you're not accruing more debt, getting out of school. And then the bills that you can't pay right now, you could cash out that CD and put money towards that to at least get caught up so you're not behind.

And then once you graduate, I would go aggressive on all of this then. And that way you have, you're not behind. And then once you graduate, I would go aggressive on all of this then. And that way you have, you're not spending time in school, you can go make more money because you have more time, all of that. So again, I'll say it. I would pause, I would get through school, I would cash out

some of that CD to stay current on your debts, and then I would just go nuts after graduation and just start paying all this off. And hey, Joseph. Absolutely. Joseph. Yes, sir.

You are a hustler, right? Yes, sir. Okay. And you got out-hustled here because you played with the big kids, right? Yes, sir. With bankers and with private loans and you saw opportunities and you got hit in the mouth. This has to be your moment where you say, I will never, ever, ever borrow money again. You are too smart. You're clearly smart. You got a full ride to college.

You're too smart and you're too driven and you've got too much to add to this world to spend that energy that you could be contributing to the communities that my kids are going to grow up in. You got too much to offer to spend that time shoveling crap from mistakes that you made in the past. Does that make sense? Absolutely. Yes, sir. So here's the deal, Joseph. I need you. I need your mind.

I need your hustle. I need your solution-oriented brain to not borrow any more money ever again. I'm with you. I totally agree. Got it. Good.

If you can learn that lesson as a 20-year-old, you've won life, right? You've won. You've won. If you roll it over and you need to learn it again when you're 24 and you're 32 and then you're 38. And I'll tell you, Rachel, for somebody like Joseph, that's a drug.

The next deal is a drug, and this thing is going to haunt him for a season. Unless he goes scorched earth like dave did no matter what never again no it's a great point because again it's that that it's that you're going to scratch just it's in your personality you're like i'm like put numbers on the sheet of paper i'm like this is like not even 30 year olds have this situation right like in your 20s so obviously your brain is just going and you're talented and you're smart and all that. But putting that energy, just like you said, towards something good. I'm like, you could become wealthy so quickly with the amount of work ethic and the way your brain thinks.

If you just don't mess with it, don't mess with the debt. You can cripple your family tree if you go the other direction. It reminds me of somebody who's like people who go to Vegas once a year or once every five years, and they like to play blackjack a little bit, and they take $100 and play blackjack. And that's most people. They don't have a frame of reference for somebody who is a gambling addict who will be walking into a building and see somebody and say, hey, I bet you that I can throw this rock farther. It becomes

part of you. And this is a guy looking at Craigslist for deals, looking at listening to conversations in a coffee shop looking for deals. This is in his soul, man. And someone's always going to be willing to loan him money, and he's just going to have to wrestle with it. Hey, I want to go back, Rachel, really quick before the break.

Well, you know what? We're done with the break. We're going to have to wait until the next hour. They got lucky, good folks. James is like, I can't wait. I know, he can't wait. Go, go, go. Hey, thank you so much, Rachel. We've got one hour in the books here,

and we'll be back soon righter for The Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt-free scream live on the show, make sure you visit theramseyshow.com and register. We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.