The Ramsey Show - App - How Do I Help Without Enabling? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: August 12, 2022

George Kamel & Dr. John Delony discuss: Counseling young family members after a tragic death, How to help without enabling, Planning for the future, How to improve your budget. Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6

Девочка-пай From Ramsey Network, this is The Ramsey Show, where we help you get control of your money, get ahead in your career, and get on the path to living well. I'm George Campbell, Ramsey personality and host of the Entree Leadership Podcast and the Fine Friend Podcast, joined today by my best friend, Dr. John Deloney, host of the Dr. John Deloney Show. And we are here for you, America, to take your questions about life, money, mental health, boundaries, crypto, you name it. There's a wide spectrum out there, John, and we are here to help those that are in a crossroads. If you need some confirmation, if you've got a burning question, we're here for you. And Christy kicks us off this hour in Charlotte, North Carolina need some confirmation, if you've got a burning question, we're here for you.

And Christy kicks us off this hour in Charlotte, North Carolina. Christy, welcome to the show. Thank you. How are you? We're doing great. How can we help? Okay, I'm going to try to get through this. It's emotional. My husband's 39-year-old sister died in a car accident in June of this year.

Oh, son. 39-year-old sister died in a car accident in June of this year. And she left behind two daughters, 17 and 21 years old, who now live with my husband's parents. The 21-year-old graduated from college in May in three years and is starting a job as a high school math teacher this month. And the 17-year-old doesn't have a driver's license yet, but she wants to get a job as a high school math teacher this month and the 17 year old doesn't have a driver's license yet but she wants to get a job after that and i'm just trying to i want to i'd like to maybe purchase them financial peace university my husband and i joined in january and we've paid off 26 000 in debt so far um at the same time as paying our daughter's college tuition. So I feel like it would help them start out their lives, but also they just lost their mom. I don't know how to broach the subject if I just shouldn't because it's none of my business or anyone.

So, gosh, I'm so sorry. This is one of those devastating moments. If you were in the booth here with me and George, you can feel it in here. Like, it's the worst, you can feel it in here. Like, uh, that's, that's the, it's the worst thing you can imagine.

Right. Um, so we'll give you FPU for both the girls. Like we'll take that off the table. Don't worry about that. Um, a quick question here. Is dad still in the picture?

Um, he pays child support, but he is remarried and lives in a different town with his wife and their newborn and her three children okay um do you have a relationship with these girls uh yes they are like my other children okay have you been with them over the last 30 days or less month and a half yeah we spend all the time in the world with them yeah okay um so the challenge here is you're grieving deeply yes and that's why i don't know if it's a good time to bring it up because it's like well that's probably the last thing on their mind but with her starting a new job it's also the perfect time to get her ahead, start in life. Right. So you're going to have a delicate balance of both and.

What you cannot do is use doing things for these girls, make them responsible for your healing through this grief. Okay? And you've stepped into a role because this is the character of person you are, this is the relationship you had with them, of some sort of maternal proxy for them. They need a mother figure as they're trying to navigate what's going to be a wild decade for them, right? One heading into their 20s and the other heading into life after high school. And so they'll need you to step into that role if they invite you in,

and at the same time you're going to have to make sure your service to them isn't um that isn't the way you're going to find healing through this thing okay okay so you're going to have to be really open and honest with yourself about i need to go talk to somebody i need need to grieve this. I need to have a core group of women my age that I can talk to. And sitting down with these young ladies and saying, hey, I'm willing to step in in any way, shape, form, or fashion as we head off into life without your mom.

And the greatest gift you can give them is to let them see you grieve. Because if they don't, they're going to think they're crazy for being as as heartbroken and distraught as they are okay seeing an adult that they trust and love in their life be super sad gives them permission to be sad which is the path towards healing okay um and then yes sitting down and saying hey we are um anything you'll need here's here's some money. Here's a book.

Here's the, ask if they are interested in those types of things and be ready to present them if they are. Okay. But right this second, I mean, you can talk to them. They're going to be in shock for a season. Right. Right. Oh yeah. I mean, it was, it was actually on the 17 year old daughter's birthday what a mess so yeah i mean it's yeah yeah there's there's you're grasping to make sense of what's next and there's just going to be a season of darkness and there's going to be a season of

we got to pay the bills right so making sure the four walls are covered that we talk about here. Yes. Like I said, they're living with my in-laws so the four walls are covered. That's right. They're grandparents. The greatest gift you can give them right now, I'll add a second thing. The first one is let them see you grieve. The second one is just presence.

Just presence. Just showing up and not trying to solve anything for them right now, but just showing up and being a, an adult who loves them in their presence and being sad with them. And those weird little moments of laughter that you can't stop, but you don't understand why, cause you're supposed to be sad, right? All of that emotion, uh, being present with them. And they're not going to remember what y'all talked about. They won't remember the deep, dark talks. And they'll remember that Aunt Christy kept showing up, and Aunt Christy kept showing up,

and Aunt Christy kept showing up. Does that help? Yeah. Can I just tell you, me and Joy, I'm so sorry. Thank you. I'm so sorry for your brother. I'm sorry for you. I'm sorry for your whole family. I'm sorry for those two young women. You're an incredible

gift to them, Christy. Even without monetary gifts, just caring this deeply for those girls is probably going to do more than any financial gift you can give to them. And it sounds like they've got a good head on their shoulders. They're going to be all right. But the more you show up for them and the more you help them, there's a lot of life to be lived. They're 17 and 21. And so this is not a what to do in the next six months. This is what does the next 10 years look like of supporting them and being this maternal proxy, like John mentioned. But we want to be a part of that by gifting them Financial Peace University. I hope they go through it. I don't know that I would have at 17 in this

stage of life and what they're going through, but it's there when they want it. And we'll throw in the app too. That may be the, you could be like, hey, we're good financial piece and we've got this app. And they'll be like, all right, I'll look at the app. But we'll send you the EveryDollar app too. We'll send you three of those, one for each one of them and one for you and your husband to use. And you can say, hey, we'll step in the gap here. If they roll their eyes and they're like, no, it's not the time. Aunt Christy, we could care less, but that's fine. They are young people grieving because their entire world has

been dumped upside down. And they're going to grieve this for a long, long time. As George said, we're settling in for the long game on this one. I'm so, so sorry. I'm going to go ahead and send you a copy of Dr. John's book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future, and Ken Coleman's book, From Paycheck to Purpose, to maybe help out that 17-year-old as she figures out what the new normal looks like, as she figures out education and adulthood and all this stuff. So thank you so much for the call, Christy. So sorry for what you're going through, what those girls are going through. We're cheering you guys on for what's next. And hang on the line.

Austin will pick up. We'll get you. Own Your Past, change your future. From Paycheck to Purpose, Financial Peace University, two sets of that, and every dollar premium for the girls. Thanks so much for the call and trusting us with the situation. More of your calls coming up. 888-825-5225. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. I'm George Campbell joined today by Dr. John Deloney this is the Ramsey Show give us a call

888-825-5225 we We're taking your questions about life, money, mental health, relationships, you name it. Rachel joins us up next in Chicago. Rachel, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you for having me on the show. Hey, how are you doing? What's going on? Good. I was just calling with a quick question here.

It's actually pretty similar to the last caller, but at what point do we stop helping family financially? My brother was murdered a couple years ago, and he left behind a three-year-old, so our niece, and we've helped, you know, mom out. She was a single mom for a year or so, and now she's moved on, married. And we offered to adopt our niece and return down, and we don't really see a future for them to be self-sustaining in her new relationship and her outlook in life and just, you know, overall. So I just don't really know what to do at this point. Our niece is three years old. And I would like your thoughts on, you know, where to go from here, how to help but not enable,

and how to really help her when she's, you know, a state away. So do you not trust her with the money that you're sending at this point? Is that the real issue? Yes. You want to support your niece, but you don't think it's actually going to support your niece in the right way. Is your niece safe? Well, that's questionable. I mean, I'm asking this as a simple yes or no.

Is that kid being abused sexually, psychologically? Is that kid getting food? Is the kid safe? Is the kid getting neglected? DCFS has been involved in the past for neglect and things like that. So I would say at this point we don't have any knowledge of that happening, but I think it's a high possibility in the future. Okay.

That's one of the few things I just simply don't mess around with even a little bit. If I have an inkling that, because it's a child at stake, right? And I'd rather sleep at night knowing that somebody doesn't like me and their child's safe than the other way around. Okay. So if you ever get an inkling that the child's not safe then we're gonna make that call again we're gonna make it again we're gonna make it again i know that system's a jacked up mess but we're gonna keep making that call um yes so we do keep in contact and make sure that

we're always calling and checking up on her and just but her face time. But hold on, hold on. Here's the other side of it. It is really hard to hear. That little girl is her child. Right. And the more you are grieving through trying to insert yourself into this little child's life, the bigger of a mess this is going to turn into. See what I'm saying? This has become a proxy for your grief. And so, like, George asked a great question.

Like, are you not trusting with the money? Then stop sending the money. Yeah, we're not. Yeah, then stop sending it. I would have a meeting. I would have a conversation and say, hey, it's been a year and a half. You've moved on.

You're remarried or whatever you are. We're going to stop doing X. We may create an account for her college whatever you are, we're going to stop doing X. We may create an account for her college because that's what we're going to do over time that only she will have access to. But we're going to begin to let you fly on your own. I'm going to have that conversation. I'm just going to cut off one weekend. But channel your grief and channel your frustration and channel some of your hurt into something that's going to be more fruitful. Okay. But right now you're trying to parent by proxy, and it's just causing a mess for you.

It's causing a mess for them. It's just becoming convoluted. You see what I'm saying? Yes. And it's hard. I know what I'm telling you is hard. It's hard. It's hard. The hard part about this is that it almost feels like, you know, then we won't have any access to her at all. Here's the hard part.

It's her kid. And if she wants to deny access to her aunts and uncles, unfortunately, she's allowed to do that. Okay. What I would want is a track record. Like, there's no legal right i would say there might even be a moral and ethical right but there's no legal right that an aunt uncle have to access to somebody else's child i would want to uh to create a track record where that kid will know that aunt so-and-so and uncle so-and-so wrote me a card every week every week they i got

something in the mail from them for my whole childhood. And that three-year-old, that seven-year-old, that nine-year-old, that 14-year-old won't get it. That 22-year-old will. That 29-year-old will. She'll go through life knowing I know somebody who loves me. See what I'm saying? We're playing a long game here now. Okay.

So, Rachel, you said you've stopped sending money to them, but you're still wondering how can we help without monetarily gifting money? Yes. I mean, this came kind of all to a hedge because she's asking for money now, and this is now the next iteration of now we need money for this, and now we need money for that, and we haven't sent it because I wanted to talk to you first. Yeah, so I sit down and say if it's about clothes or if it's about food, I might, I'll do it. If you're asking me for help financially and my help comes with fill in the blank, it's your money. I'll help you do a budget.

That's the only way I'm going to give you money. I will help you with X, Y, and Z. That's the only way I'm going to give you money. I'm going to do it one more time. And you need to know this is the last from where this comes from. We're creating a college account for her. But see what I'm saying? Like, it's your money, so it's your boundaries, and it's your decisions.

And you can put all kind of hoops you want to. And if she says, I'm not doing all that, that's great. You're choosing not to take my money. That's her choice, not yours. See what I'm saying? Yes. And I know, again, all that's hard. What's the hesitation?

She's not going to want to do it. Cool. She she's not gonna do it yeah she's opting out and i say cool not in a that's not great for that kid i'm sure i'm not saying like all right it's not like that you know what i mean like she's making grown-up choices right sounds like the next step is uh another hard conversation to go listen I want to support this little girl who I care deeply about but it's going to be on my terms and the conversation before that one is with your with your husband and y'all sit down and say here's what we're willing to do and here's how far we're willing to go and this is what our boundaries are going to be and then just know that anytime you set boundaries everyone around you in your life are going to try

to test those boundaries to see if they hold. She's going to call you desperate at midnight. I got to have food, food money, or the kid's hungry. They're going to come test those boundaries and y'all are going to have to decide upfront how firm we're going to hold. Right. And then from there, you got to make peace with that's her child. And if you get wind of it, not being safe, I'm going to make those calls, but I'm not going to try to armchair parent somebody else's kid in a different house from far away. Right. Okay. I think that's really good advice. I think I can see myself doing that in a variety of instances of parenting. And it's a little hard because we did parent her. She was placed in our home as a foster child

when she was born hey rachel i i think it's wise for you and your husband to go grieve this like a loss you love this little girl don't you yeah and you loved her dad didn't you yes yeah y'all need to grieve the loss. And the three-year-old can't prop up you and your husband's grief. Okay? There's a hole there, and y'all got to address the hole. Y'all got to sit in the hole for a while. And find some more productive avenues to give you peace.

You'll make meaning on the back end of this, right? We're going to take care of kids. That's going to be who we are. We take care of kids whose parents pass away. We take care of kids who are struggling. We're going to be foster parents. We're going to make meaning on the back end of this, but right now we have to grieve it. And I don't know that y'all are there yet. Is that fair? Yes. Okay. Hey, we'll walk with you. We love you. I'm going to send you two copies of Financial Peace University, okay? It's me and George. It's our gift to you. You can sit down and say,

hey, I'm going to offer this to you and I'll go with it, go through this with you. And that's going to be the condition of me giving you any more money. And this is the last time we do that. I'm not going to give you parameters of what they happen to be, but I'm going to give you some cash to get some food and diapers right now. But I'm also going to give you a tool that's going to help you change this thing. And you're right. She's probably not going to do it. She's probably not. But you'll be able to sleep at night knowing I put a fishing pole and weights and bait and hooks and know-how on the front porch. She chose to not go fishing. Yeah. And ask her what exactly she needs. And then you can go drop the diapers at the door. If you don't trust her what she's doing with the money,

then you provide exactly what the thing is and you can sleep easy at night knowing you did what was right for you. But hang on the line. Austin will pick up. We'll get you two copies of Financial Peace University to help walk through this with them and hopefully create some semblance of a relationship so that you can have a relationship with that little girl. Thanks so much for the call. This is The Ramsey Show. every time you hear someone do their debt-free scream on this show it's because at some point they said enough i'm not living like this anymore. I've had it. And when you get mad like that and do what they did, your life will change too. And right now, inflation and your stupid credit cards are killing you. You've started to believe you're not in control of your money, that it's all just happening to you, but you're wrong. And you've got to decide to control what you can

control. And that's you, that person in the mirror, your behavior. And you've got to decide to control what you can control, and that's you, that person in the mirror, your behavior. You have the power to change your future, and Financial Peace University will show you how. This course will teach you the proven step-by-step plan that's helped nearly 10 million people beat debt, master budgeting, and build wealth. And you can do it too. And I get it. When I first started this thing, I went, George's plan is fantastic, but it also ended up with him being broke. So let's try this other plan over here. And guys, almost a decade ago, that changed my life. So stop letting debt and money stress control your life.

Say enough and take back your control. Start Financial Peace University at ramsaysolutions.com slash enough. That's ramsaysolutions.com slash enough. That's ramsaysolutions.com slash enough. The way you started that ad, when you said, every time, it made me think of that song.

Sing it. Sing it. I know you're thinking about it. Every time I come around the city, bling bling. Every time somebody says the words every time, I think. That's what triggers in your brain.

Bling bling. And that was a glimpse into the dark mind of Dr. John Deloney. Every time I think about you, my good friend, I think of bling bling. You always look nice. You always look put together. Bling bling. And that was a glimpse into the dark mind of Dr. John Deloney. Everything, Tom, I think about you, my good friend, I think of bling bling. You always look nice. You always look put together.

Wow, thank you. Thank you. Wow, you've come a long way since two days ago, John. Bling bling. You made fun of my denim jacket for no reason. No, it's corduroy

and it's August. That sounds about right. Let's go to the phones where I'm safe. Michelle joins us there to save us all. Michelle, welcome to The Ramsey Show.

Thank you so much for taking my call. Absolutely. Yeah, so I have a question. My house is going up for sale now, and I also have a lot of investment savings. And I'm in a very strange situation where I'm currently looking for a job, so I don't have that income, and my family is helping me out until I do.

Did you quit your job or get fired? What happened? No, I have not had a career. I'm 56. I used to work as a volunteer with foster kids for about eight years. So I'm hoping to leverage that. And I've been for almost two years studying to do something around that. So that's what I've been looking for right now. If I don't get that, I'll get something else. Okay. Are you married? No, no. Okay. So up to this point, where has your income come from? Well, I've been saving over the years. I was supported by my family at that time and slowly built up.

Right now it's $705,000 in an index fund. That's incredible. They would support you, and you would take that money and put it in savings, is that what it means? Yes. So you live off some of it and invest the rest? Was that the idea?

Correct. And then I don't have any debt. I have the house that's going on the market for, I'll probably get $520,000 when it's done, and that's debt step three as well. So the home's paid for, so you're getting all the net proceeds after fees. Yes. Which you think will be $520.

Wait, I'm still confused. You don't work? Well, I don't work. I work for free, basically, for years as a volunteer. Right. I'm trying to – I will have to work. Let me put it that way. I need to get a job for sure.

So I'm doing that. Has the family support stopped? I got two jobs yesterday, for example. Okay. You know, that's what I'm doing. But you're a millionaire who's never held a paying job, right? Correct. Wow.

Was this a trust fund of sorts where, you know, for 56 years or what was the story there? I'm just curious. We don't talk to a lot of billionaires who've never worked. This is a new for us. Well, you tell us as much as you want to. Yeah. Right right and preferably all of it because i i'd love to know well that's really all i can say okay um i i have but i will here's what's happened i was into the understanding that that would be forever and was told that when I suggested that, you know, hey, I need to go and get this career going. Why don't you just go back to volunteering with the foster care, you know, children's medical and all that. So I didn't. And that was my mistake. And now I'm scrambling trying to put a career together, which is great. But Hold on. We don't need to scramble, Michelle.

You've got a million dollars plus in your net worth. You don't need to scramble. You've got a big pile of money to float you until you can find a job that you actually enjoy. Yeah. Well, I want to put it all in the index fund, most of it from my house, and I'm wondering if that's just not what to do.

Well, where are you going to live once you sell this house? Well, it's going to rent for 6 to 12 months, and then I'll obviously have to downsize to conserve. And it's just you? Yes. Okay. So I like the idea of renting. You're going to need a pile of money to do that. We're going to need a fully funded emergency fund, which we don't

really know what your bills are quite yet. So I'd probably just, to be safe, maybe put away 50 to 100,000 and you can invest the rest if you're not sure what you're going to do with it for now. I have 80 cash right now. Okay. So you're in a good spot there. So this $520,000 added to the $705,000, that puts $1.2 million in that account, right? Yes. And so if that account grows at, let's say, 9% or 10%, you could peel off $70,000 a year and probably not touch the principal for a long time. So you can create an income off of that. I guess I'm worried that something happens the first year and it clobbers 30%. Michelle, you have a million dollars. Even if it clobbers 30%.

You're 56. You've invested for the long term. So we're not worried about what happens in the next six to 12 months. This is a long-term play play and you don't lose money unless you cash it out right which i have plenty of time left to work at least a decade so and you're asking me and george we can't tell you that the market could lose 30 over the right over one calendar year the chances of that happening are so comically minuscule that it's not worth it. We could get hit by a meteorite, too. Both of those things could happen. If you've got $80,000 and $1.2 million in investments, you're doing better than 99.999% of Americans. Of any human who's ever lived on the face of the planet.

I felt so much better. Okay. So, yeah, just know that you're doing great. I kept doing math, like 30 years of living left, and I don't want to touch that nest egg ever, so I'll be working my butt off, of course. But I just thank you that I feel better. Well, it sounds like right now this is just such a new, strange phase for you where you're going, okay, for 56 years I haven't had to do this thing,

and now all of a sudden you feel like it's a scramble. But you've got time, you've got money, and those are the two greatest resources anyone could have. Can I tell you the one thing I'm way more worried about your money? I'm way more worried about you having purpose, a reason for getting up every day, a thing you are contributing to to make the world a better place, which then, like, I'm going to do hard stuff during the day, and that's going to bring my body peace. That's what joy is, right? And you're going to do hard stuff during the day and that's, that's going to bring my body peace. It's going to bring, that's what joy is, right? And you're going to get frustrated and annoyed and kids are going to throw up

on you. Like I'm going to go through hard stuff every day and that's going to, that's going to, it's going to connect with me at a soul level. I'm worried about you not having any purpose. Yeah. So that, that's where the job comes in that I'm currently. No, no, you can't let the job comes in that I'm currently competing with. No, no, you can't let a job be your purpose. A job is part of the mission of who you, it's a manifestation of who you are.

My purpose is to help people. If my job is helping people on YouTube, I'm going to go sideways quick. You see what I'm saying? But if I get fired today and I work at Burger King tomorrow, shout out, way to go Burger King, there's your ad for the day, I am going to help people in that job. Right? That's just who, that's

going to be who I am. So I want you to find a purpose and a job. Right? Michelle, I might take that home profit and put it in a money market savings account for now, a high yield savings account, and maybe you purchase a place for yourself, a condo with cash, so you can remove that fixed expense. On top of that, I'm going to gift you our friend Ken Coleman's Get Clear Assessment

to help you figure out what's next and his book, From Paycheck to Purpose, which will guide you to exactly what John is talking about. What a strange situation, John, but a good place to be. I'll take it. Worst problems to have out there. Thanks for the call, Michelle. Appreciate it. This is The Ramsey Show. welcome back to the ramsey show i'm george camel joined today by dr john deloney you know john i

did an instagram q&A yesterday. You know, we do that on occasion to get some questions. And I'm doling out life-changing financial advice left and right. It's the same advice I get just as your friend. Exactly. For free. It's all for free, John. And someone asked, hey, let's see the – I mentioned that I have apps on my phone in folders on the second page.

Alphabetical folders, categorized. And that was the one that got all the response. No one cared about the life-changing financial advice. They were all very impressed with my categorized folders. So that's my life hack for you. My life hack is I have three apps. Yes. They fit on one page. They fit right on the front. I have 266. Apps? Yes. Wow. Yeah, I'm a digital hoarder. I could see that. Yeah. Anyways. You've got,

that's great. Is it? It's great. I feel like I need to see someone about that. Nope. I don't know why I'm. All of my friends

have different things that they do in their life. It's great. Different values. The more you say that's great, the less I believe you. Well, open phones this hour, 888-825-5225. We'll take your questions

about life, money, and apps if you're curious. Do you know all the apps that you have off top of your head? No, absolutely not. I downloaded them nine years ago. That's what I was wondering. Yeah. A buddy of mine was like, why do you have seven sleep apps? I'm like, I don't know. I don't use any of them. Gotcha. I don't sleep. There you go. There we go. Danielle joins us up next in St. Louis. Danielle, welcome to the show. Hi, guys. Thanks so much for taking my call. Absolutely. What's going on? Well, I am just starting out. I started June 3rd and went right into Baby Step 2.

I guess I have a two-part question. First, I am struggling with figuring out the budget aspect of it. I know you guys say it takes about three months, and I'm starting to see it working out a little better, but I just am having trouble with figuring out how to have patience and not pay all my bills right up front on that first paycheck and then waiting and not having any money when I get to my second paycheck. Oh, so you're draining the checking account right away. Yeah, I'm overzealous to pay my bills. So that's part of it. And then I also just feel like I need a goal of when I

should be having, like how much I should be paying towards it so I can be out of debt by a certain point. Paying towards the debt? Yes, when I should be out of Baby Step 2. Do you have margin right now? I have my numbers. So I take home about $2,500 a month for my primary job. I just this week started a part-time for nights and weekends job where I'll probably be taking home about $600, $800 extra a month. Great. And I am doing DoorDash on occasion as well, so probably about $100 to $300 a month from that. As far as what I have in debt, I have just under $42,000 to go. What kind of debt? That is $4,200 is credit cards, $32,000 is student loans,

and I also have a car lease for about $5,500 still to go. Okay, cool. I'm about halfway through that. So let's get to your budgeting question. You can change a lot of the dates the bills are due on. And so if you're experiencing that, you can go in online or call them and say, hey, I want this bill to come out on the 16th and I want this bill to come out on the 18th. And that way you can control some of these variables in your budget. Do you have any buffer in your checking account?

Well, that's what I'm also trying to figure out is how to put that in my budget so that I have leftover money at the end of the month. Because I know you said you probably need about 100 to 300 as a cushion. So I'm trying to figure out how to play that so I can just save that in my checking account first and foremost. So you said your take-home pay is $2,500. What are your expenses if you're doing this budget? Have you added that up? If you add in all your minimum payments on your debts? Minimum payments on my debts is about $550, and I've been trying to pay about $850 to $900 a month.

Okay. So you have about $300, $400 of margin right now to throw at the debt. Yes. And you're going to start these side hustles, which will bring in another $1,000. And so that's going to really speed up this process. I mean, that'll make it happen three times as fast. That's what I'm hoping. I love it. So are you using every dollar right now, or you have a different budgeting method that's working for you? Yes, I started Financial Peace, and I'm using the premium EveryDollar.

Oh, awesome. Okay, well, I was going to gift it to you, so you beat me to the punch there. Thank you. And so your second question was what? So I just want to have a goal. I know it has it in the app, but I just feel like it's telling me 2027, and I just feel like that is unreasonable. What is your yearly income? Well, I just have my primary. I don't know about the others, but my primary is just under $49,000. Okay. What do you do? I am an accounts receivable, so I post a lot of payments. Why do you do i am an account receivable so i post a lot of payments why do

you do accounts receivable why i don't know i don't know do you love it i i don't hate it i i am a money person if i said do you love your spouse you're like i don't hate them honey do you love me i don't hate you john I don't hate them. Honey, do you love me? I don't hate you, John. I don't hate you. Actually, I have gotten that response before. Here's what I'm saying. Money goes one of two ways. You get more on the front end or you stop spending less on the back end, right? And so you're a money person.

You know how money works. I'd love to see you double your income, whether you go be an assistant CFO. I would too. Yeah, but your whole call, you're asking like i don't like you're a money person you're an accounts receivable you have a degree in this stuff and you're asking well i don't oh you don't okay so you've got experience let me say that you've got experience in it um you're not suffering from knowledge issues you're suffering from confidence issues where does this come from I'm I'm not sure part of it is I feel like I'm not in the right career path yes my 32,000 in student loan debt is for a degree I'm not really using

what's your degree my degree was in media communications with public relations as my track. Okay. Can I tell you, the accountants that I've worked with, and there's been a bajillion of them, that can talk to me and explain what they're actually doing, it's invaluable. And they make their way up the ranks. The two CFOs here at Ramsey are two of the coolest, funniest, hilarious guys,

and they know how Excel works, which makes them like unicorns, right? Right. And so you have a degree in media communication. You have a degree in communicating with other people, and you know how numbers work. See what I'm getting at? You didn't waste your degree. In fact, you've got a set of skills now

that people in your field are short on that makes you very valuable. See what I'm saying? I'm trying to find ways to give you confidence here and not this, I don't even know how to, like, what's the math problem? You do math for a living,

you know, right? I don't know what's holding you back. I don't know. I guess I just don't know. I love the place where I work and so I guess I have some hesitance in finding new employment.

You can love another place too. You know what you don't love? Going home every night not able to sleep because you owe so much money. You know what you don't love? Going home every night not able to sleep because you owe so much money. Yes. And you don't love getting off an accounting job that you've been working on five days a week to only work weekends and nights and then drive on Sunday mornings because you're broke. Right.

And Danielle, as part of your membership, you have access to the Debt Snowball tool. So start plugging in all of your numbers and add in that extra income. And I guarantee you, it's not going to be five years for you to pay off this debt. Looking at these numbers and what your new take home pay is going to be, even if you stayed in this career, my guess is it takes two years. And that's, I mean, that's conservative. I think you can do better than that. So make it a personal competition with yourself to see how much more, maybe you need to recheck all of your insurance coverage and say, am I overpaying? Go check with Xander. Maybe go make sure you're not getting a tax refund. We need to change our withholding to put more money back in our budget every single month.

So start doing those things. Make sure you've paused investing so that you're not having a money leak over there while you're trying to pay off debt. Go do a budget audit, get super nerdy, which you know how to do that really well. And I think you're going to feel the progress when you go, where else can I start shaving some money? I'm not going to eat out. I'm going to go to Aldi instead of Publix. Just get creative with it and see what kind of traction you make. And it kind of gets addictive, John. Can I give you a secret, like a life hack? Yes, bring it on. Confidence is not something you think yourself into. Confidence is not something you think yourself into. Confidence is something you achieve your way into.

I'm going to practice these things. So I want you to do a 30-day sprint where you're going to work like crazy and save as much as you can. Don't go out to eat. Don't go do crazy things. Don't rent a movie. Just do 30 days and send that check and see how that feels. And that should give you a hit of confidence and confidence. And it's going to grow over time.

The more you stay invested in this game. Beautifully said. That puts this hour of the Ramsey show in the books. My thanks to John Deloney, all the folks in the booth and you America. We'll be back with you before you know it. Do you love a good day brand? Want to see the latest Ramsey Show videos going viral?

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