The Ramsey Show - App - How Do I Prepare to Marry Someone Who Has $200,000 in Debt? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: November 30, 2020

Savings, Education, Debt, Investing Sign Up for a FREE trial of Ramsey+ TODAY: https://bit.ly/31ricKt  Tools to get you started:  Debt Calculator: https://bit.ly/2QIoSPV Insurance Coverage Checkup: https://bit.ly/2BrqEuo Complete Guide to Budgeting: https://bit.ly/2QEyonc Check out more Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/2JgzaQR

Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music

Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music

Music Music Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I am Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality and newly minted best-selling author, is my co-host today here on the air. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Just announcing today that Redefining Anxiety, John's first book, it's a Ramsey Quick Read, 84 pages or whatever, anxiety, what it is, what it's not,

and how to get your life back. Redefining Anxiety has hit the bestseller list last week, so he is officially a bestselling author to add to his many accolades. Pretty cool. It's very cool, very surprising, but very cool. I actually thought my boss, Jeremy, there was playing a Thanksgiving trick on me there. A Thanksgiving trick. Yeah, we're big known for Thanksgiving tricks a thing.

Who knew that? Hey, man. The gang around here is pretty brutal, so they will mess with you. That's true. Open phones at 888-825-5225. John's in New London, Connecticut. Hey, John, how are you? I's true. Open phones at 888-825-5225. John's in New London, Connecticut. Hey, John, how are you? I'm great. Thank you guys for taking my call. I really appreciate it. Sure. What's up? So my parents went through financial peace like two years ago, and I watched them start

conquering debt, and it was great. It was really cool. But I was 18 at the time. So, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm just, uh, just about 21. And, um, I really wish I had paid attention cause I was, um, I was deployed in 2019. I actually joined the national guard right out of high school and that was great, you know, but you know, I was living like impulsively and just buying things and stuff like that. But anyway, so I'm at UConn now, tuition-free, with a veteran's waiver. And I have access to the post-9-11 GI Bill on top of that tuition waiver. And I guess what I'm wondering is what you guys think of this, because I'm thinking about using this benefit and taking that money now and saving it and investing it, because it's better to start earlier than later,

and I'm trying to get my foot in the door with that, or I can save it and transfer it to my kids. So I just wanted to see what you guys thought on this situation. I'd save it and transfer it to your kids. You think so? Okay. Yeah. You run the risk of the, which I think is a slight risk, I hope it's a slight risk of Congress at some point changing the GI Bill and taking that away from you.

But I can think of nothing that might be worse politically for them than doing that. Oh, man. Pick on the veterans, you morons. That would be a bad idea. So thank you for your service. Of course. Every time I try to, quote, take advantage of a loophole, unquote, it comes back to bite me, and that's kind of how this feels.

You don't need the money. It's laying there for your kids. You don't have any kids, I take it. No. Okay. I have a kids, I take it. No. Okay. I have a girlfriend, but we're not there yet. Someday, when you're married and have kids, that'll be there, and that will enter into your long-term financial planning and will enable you.

If you don't have to save as much for your kid's college because that's laying there, you'll be able to use that money at that time out of your income to build more wealth. Right. And it is transferable, so I can put it to more than one kid. If I've got two, I can do a certain number of months. I can allot to either. The piece you will have raising kids, knowing that that's taken care of, is I don't even know if you can put a dollar amount on it,

but I don't know that you can put a true dollar amount on knowing when you hold that kid and know that part's taken care of um that'll be such a gift yeah yeah and i just um you know you pull that out use it put it in an investment something goes sideways you end up buying a bass boat with it i mean there's all kinds of stuff happens and so i like the idea of it just sitting there waiting for its proper use, which is education, not investments. When I'm using the wrong tool for the wrong job, it always throws me off. And because, you know, if you're literally doing that, you'll bust your knuckles. Right.

And you come, you know, that thing will slip off and you'll hit your hand. So in the financial world, it's not a lot different. So, you know, sometimes people say, well, you can use a Roth IRA for your kid's college. I'm like, no, you can, but that's the wrong tool for the job. Gotcha. It's a bad idea. It's the same kind of category for me. I'm, you know, no, I would not do that.

Hope that helps. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Jenna is in Council Bluffs, Iowa. Hi, Jenna, how are you? Hi, David, how are you? Good, how can we help? Good. Say, I am going to ask a question.

Should we pay off debt or should we hold tight? We've got $19,000 in savings and $33,000 in debt. However, my husband lost his job due to a medical condition, and we are still sorting through doctor's bills and doctor's visits to figure out what is going on with him and get a diagnosis. So kind of in limbo and would like some advice to what we should do. i'm sorry what's wrong with him they are thinking it's muscular dystrophy but um i haven't got a confirmed diagnosis ouch how old is he yeah uh 28 okay no you are not working the baby steps

okay period the only thing you're going to do is on a budget and your job is pile up cash okay um a hurricane has hit your house and you put the plywood on the windows and you batten up for the storm and you put the canned goods aside and the bottled water in the generator right in other words you're you're in the middle of an emergency and you need piles of cash. That is your survival. And so you don't pay any extra on debt. You don't pay any extra on anything. You don't spend any money anywhere. You pile up cash till you get this solved.

Because we don't know how much it's going to take. We don't know how long it's going to be before he goes back to work. And we don't know what the diagnosis is going to be and how expensive it's going to be and what the prognosis of the diagnosis is right right yeah so let me just tell you you have if you got a little bit of debt and you have piles and piles of cash you got a little peace while you work through this storm now when the storm's over he's back to work and you figured out what this is and you find out it's x y or z and it wasn't it wasn't bad then and you're able to start your life again that means the storm's gone by right

yep that makes sense jenna do you have do you have some people that are walking alongside you during this process yeah we definitely do we have a very supportive family, so we are very thankful for that. I'm talking about you switch pronouns on me. You guys together do. I'm talking about you, Jenna. Do you have somebody you can reach out to at 2 a.m. and say this sucks and it's not fair and I hate this? Yes. Okay, good. I want you to promise us that you will continue to stay plugged in with other people as you walk alongside your husband during this journey. I promise I will continue to do that. Yeah. Awesome. If your, if your friend was in trouble and you called them and they called you and said, I just need to talk,

uh, you, you would be, um, blessed by that. Yes. So you're on the other side of that right now. Bless someone by letting them walk with you, okay? Okay. God bless you, kiddo. You call us if we can help. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Has your family grown larger over the years? Ours has too. Christian Healthcare Ministries is now helping over 425,000 members bear each other's health cost burdens. CHM offers budget-friendly options to suit a variety of needs, from the ability to choose your own medical professional to a portable program that moves with you throughout life.

We even offer a generous maternity option that has helped many couples welcome new additions to the family. Today, many of those babies have grown, gotten married, and have once again turned to CHM. This next generation trusts CHM to meet their health cost needs and be part of a faithful community as they are expecting children of their own. How about you? Would you like to be a part of our family as you grow your own?

To learn more, visit us online at chministries.org slash budget and explore which options are right for you and your family. chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, best-selling author of the book Redefining Anxiety, is my co-host today here on the air. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Samantha is with us in Austin, Texas. Hi, Samantha. How are you? Better than I deserve.

Good. How can we help? So I'm a first-year teacher. I started in January, and I got six weeks before this pandemic struck. But I'm actually doing quite well myself with finances. I was able to find a place and everything settled down. I don't have any student debt. I own my car and I have like $35,000 that I'm not sure what to do with. Look at you. And yeah, I get about like $1,000 a month in my increased paycheck since

they prorated it back when I started in January. So I'm living below my income needs, and so I was just wondering if I should do something with a 403B deferred tax option. My dad suggested stacking CDs, mutual funds. What would be the best thing to do for someone that's 22 years old? Way to go. Wow. So you grew up in a household where they taught you how to do this huh i listened to you as a kid from my dad oh financial peace baby okay very good well i'm honored i'm so proud of you well done i love meeting 22 year olds who are so unlike me when i was 22 samantha you just you're making my heart

just swell way to go you're saying she's wise i'm saying that sometimes sometimes in these current times it's easy to get down on the world my kids inheriting and when another samantha's running around out there we're gonna be all right amen good for you samantha amen you're a rock star kiddo very cool very cool thank you well we teach a thing called the baby steps that you have heard of, and I'm going to walk you right through that. I mean, you've got your emergency fund out of the $35,000 that you set aside in a money market account, and that's three to six months. That's not including the emergency fund.

Who are you, Samantha? I don't even know this girl. Who is this woman? I don't know. Who is this woman? All right. And so now you take the $35,000, and I'm going to earmark it for a future down payment on a home,

and then I'm going to take 15% of your income and start investing that in 403B, 401K, or Roth IRAs, or some combination thereof in good mutual funds that have a long track record. First, does your 403B have a match? It does not have a match, and that's why I haven't started it. I was thinking maybe I should do a Roth IRA through my bank instead. No, you should go to SmartVestor Pro and get your Roth IRA because banks are sucky at investments. And so we want good investments and you want to go

into good mutual funds for your Roth IRA. And what are you making a year? They just upped it to 50. Okay. So we need to do 7,500. So you can do 6,000 in your Roth. Okay. So that's easy. And then you could put like a hundred bucks a month in your 403B if you want to and some good mutual funds or $200 or whatever, and then just do your Roth IRA, and that will get you there. That will have you where you need to be as far as 15% of your income. Above that, I'm going to continue, if you want to save even more, I'm going to just continue to add to the $35,000 as the down payment fund

for your future home. I'm going to guess and say it might be three years for you to buy a house. And given that, I might put that. I thought about it. Yeah, I might put that fund. The Austin area is ridiculous. Yeah. I might put that in a mutual fund with your SmartVestor Pro as well.

So go to DaveRamsey.com, click SmartVestor, and it will drop down a list of the SmartVestor Pros in your area, the people with the heart of a teacher. And believe me, they will be as excited to meet you, Samantha, as John and I have been because you're inspiring. You're amazing for 22 years old. So sit down with them. They'll help you get a Roth IRA started,

maybe even take your 403B options. They'll help you get a Roth IRA started, maybe even take your 403B options. They'll help you pick some of those. You'll have to go back to your school system to actually do the investment. And then in addition to that, they can help you place that $35,000 in a mutual fund or funds to grow it for the next three years or four years for a house fund. And that's a good way to do that. And, yeah, they'll help you do that in a way that doesn't eat you up with commissions and also allows you to, you know, invest in something with low turnover so that you don't have a bunch of taxes on it or anything.

Wow, you have got an amazing head start. If you keep on this track and you don't marry an idiot, you're going to, I mean, you will, if you don't screw it up by doing that, right? I mean, you're going to be worth tens of millions of dollars. She'll be a millionaire before she blinks. Yeah. Yeah. And to everybody listening to this, you can do it.

You can grow a Samantha. You can do it. It's possible. You can. All your children do not have to misbehave. No. You can grow a Samantha. It's possible. I've done it. I've got three of them. Youbehave. No. You can grow a Samantha. It's possible.

I've done it. I've got three of them. You've got three Samanthas. I do. I've got two Samanthas in training. One of them is a long way. One of them I can see it happening, and one of them... Well, the interesting one is the problem child became a Ramsey personality.

Strong, loyal personality, big spender. That's right. Yeah. We wrote books about her spending habits, and now she writes books about her spending habits and sells millions of them. So go figure. But, yeah, she's authentic, I think they say. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's what it is.

So there you go. But, I mean, you can do it. You can do it. And kudos. Hats off to Dad and Mom there. Mom and Dad. High five to them, too. You want to change your family tree?

You cannot make enough money or invest enough money or build enough net worth to change your family tree if you don't teach the next generation to handle it. And they are watching, not listening. Not what you say, what you do. More is caught than taught, Rachel Cruz says. Much to her credit. How do you act at Thanksgiving? How do you act at Christmas? How do you act at Christmas? How do you spend? How do you talk about gifts

that you're happy about, not happy about? They're absorbing all of it. And that's the person they're becoming. Yeah, you can give a long speech and one eye roll can blow it off. Done. That's right. Michael is with us in San Antonio, Texas. Hey, Michael. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show.

Hi, Dave. Hi, John. It's a pleasure welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Hi, John. It's a pleasure to talk to you both. I'm a big fan. Thanks. How can we help? Yeah, so I have a lot of stuff upcoming in my life in 2021. I'm getting married in January.

Yay. And, yeah, doing that. You don't sound real happy, Michael. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I was just really nervous. All right. That's okay. You don't sound real happy, Michael. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I was just really nervous. All right.

That's okay. You get one of those. It's okay. We won't tell her. Awesome. So, yeah, I'm doing that, getting married. She's bringing in about $200,000 in student debt, and she'll be graduating the year after so i'm just trying to get a sense of how should i plan for all those new responsibilities and at the same time i'm cash flowing a master's

run just kidding don't do that no shut up john she's gonna be a surgeon she is a doctorate in physical therapy for 200k well 160 to 200 you know it's a little bit of a living expenses it's a private institution yeah you think man for pt to make 80 grand right okay what is your master's what's your master's in? What's your master's in? Real estate finance. Why do you need a master's in real estate finance? What is that? I'm hoping it'll help me along the road. Which road? Go sell houses.

What road? Sell buildings and stuff. You want to do commercial real estate? Yes, I'm currently an analyst in a firm right now. Okay. Being paid to learn, essentially. Okay, all right. Well, a firm right now. Okay. Paid to learn, essentially. Okay. All right.

Well, that does make sense. Yeah. My degree was in real estate specialization in finance, so I didn't do a master's, but I did. Yeah. Okay. So what do you make? I make $23,000. You're an analyst in a commercial real estate firm you make 23 000 dollars all right so yeah pay to learn uh and essentially 12 to 16 months i switch over to the

brokerage side that's a little bitty spoon to dig out that big old hole y'all are in that's why i'm calling okay so what you've got to do is we have to work on what's called the shovel to whole ratio the shovel is your income the hole you're in is 200k and the two of you together start planning how you're going to make enough money to pay this off and the more money you make obviously the faster you're going to pay it off and i'm sorry michael but that's the system that's how it works So I can't predict your income as a commercial broker in this world particularly. Yeah, this is scary. It's scary.

This is the Dave Ramsey Personality, best-selling author, redefining anxiety, is my co-host today. Michael, going into the break from San Antonio, is getting married in January. His fiancée has $200,000 in debt for a Ph.D. in physical therapy. PTs typically make about $80,000. He's working for a commercial real estate company making $23,000. And when he finishes his master's in real estate finance, we'll move into brokerage. He's wanting to know figure

out how to pay off the two hundred thousand dollars in student loan debt as they get married and that's how we left him at the break does that sound right michael did i get all that correctly that sums it up okay cool all right so let's go back i want to get i want to dig down a little bit deeper into the actual steps and what you guys should do and shouldn't do. How old are you two? We're 23. Okay. And when does she finish school? May 2022. So she's got a year and a half left. Right. The clinicals is the last year. Okay. I'm unfamiliar with PT clinicals in the sense that does she get paid no she does not does she pay for that uh living expenses okay well we got that covered you're married and so okay and you're making 23 000 for how much longer um i want to say about eight to nine more months okay then it'll be commissioned

only and then you'll be straight commission commercial real estate broker. Yes. When will your master's be completed? May 2022 as well. And you're cash flowing that how? I'm with this money that I make. We're living at home with my parents. And you plan to do that ongoing after you're married?

It's not ideal, but that's just how it happens. Okay. All right, because here's what I hear in the math, and that's disturbing. You're going to have zero income for approximately the next two years. Within, I mean, you're going to have $23,000 until you start your full-time brokerage, and then you're going to make nothing until you sell a piece of commercial real estate. And commercial real estate, I've been in real estate my whole life, is not rabbit hunting, it's elephant hunting.

There aren't many of them, and when you kill one, you eat well, but it takes a while, and you better have your bullet in your gun when you get there. So 23 years old to close a $10 million property, 24 years old, it can be done. I did it at that age, but it's hard. It's a very, very hard track you put yourself on. And, you know, if the market booms in San Antonio, Texas, and you're able to move three or four pieces of property by the time you're 25 or 26, she lands an $80,000 position, you guys can begin working your way through this. But I hear two or three years of almost no income.

That's just not cool. I think we need a different plan. And living with your parents, trying to keep a new marriage stable, trying to pay off, what did you say, $160,000 in student loan debt for her? Well, it doesn't kick in for 18 more months

until she gets out. Right. It's just a big number. I'm looking at it in the future what i'm looking at man is two years living with mom and dad two years of you're gonna figure out a way to go from making 23 000 a year getting a master's and making less and then you're gonna be two years into living at home two years into a new marriage two years into not making any money two years into her finishing grinding out clinicals which is a tough medical clinicals are hard man they take a lot of your heart mind

and soul you were just adding stressor on top of stressor on top of stressor and for this fragile new marriage living at your parents house for 24 months 36 months man that's a tough way to get shot out of the cannon let's pretend there's not $200,000 in student loan debt. Okay? Okay. What you're prescribing or what you've lined up with almost no income for 24 months and living in your parents' house in your first year

while she's doing clinicals in your first year of marriage, there's a lot of stress there, a lot. There's like five layers before we get to the student loans. And it's all related to a lack of income and so i'm not sure you're going to be able to stay on the track you're going to be able to stay on and keep your young family and your marriage healthy emotionally uh because you're going to be doing it with almost no income. And it's somebody else's rules, right? I mean, talk to the brokers in your, who are you working for? Which company?

Cushman Wakefield? No, we're out of Austin, Equitable Commercial Realty. It's a small firm, but we primarily do office leases. So it's not just, you know, building sales. It's primarily leases, which is a little quicker than full building sales, but you've still got to work it out. Plus or minus pandemic. Right.

Two years from now, after two years of zooming under our belts, it's going to be a very interesting proposition, brother. On office space and leasing. Yeah, leasing, you can close the lease and you can start getting some money in if that's where you're making most of your money anyway i would sit and talk to your broker and say in the current environment with this line product line when do you see me actually making money when i go to brokerage don't hype my butt tell me what the typical guy in here does and i'm 24 years old at this point trying to do this can i do it now hey man i was selling

real estate at your age residential while i was in school i was younger than you at 2021 and interest rates went to 17 the market was impossible and i still sold some houses but it's just because i worked all the time and i out you know i sold houses in spite of the fact that i was 21 years old with a magnum pi mustache wearing a disco suit you know and people still bought houses from me right because all i did was just outwork my youth outwork my stupidity outwork my ignorance you're way sharper than i was then but i kind of had the same dream that's why i wanted to talk to you a little bit further because i wanted to be a commercial real estate guy that's what i wanted to be

and first job out of school was i did syndication deals which they don't do anymore but That's why I wanted to talk to you a little bit further because I wanted to be a commercial real estate guy. That's what I wanted to be. And first job out of school is I did syndication deals, which they don't do anymore. So I'm worried about your lack of income. If you can get more comfortable with your income, as soon as she kicks in, let's say you start making $100,000. A guy doing what you're talking about doing in a normal economy, after a little bit of time to build up some credibility and build up a pipeline, you can make $100 a year doing what you're talking about. You could make $200 a year doing what you're talking about. She should make in the $80 range. And so if you're making $100,000 to $200,000 a year, you can pay off $200,000 in student loan debt.

Student loan is bad. It's horrible. But it doesn't scare me for you guys like this thing where you make zero money so you need to sit down talk to your broker and get some realistic expectations and then start figuring out is there a side job or is the is the brokerage thing a side job while i get uh while i feed my new wife and we get a household. Because I've got to tell you, she's going to be living with her mother-in-law while she's doing medical clinicals. I don't care how great a woman your mom is. That's a hard prescription.

That's a tough one. It's a real tough one. And in 90% of the households, it's beyond tough. Occasionally, I've got a friend whose mother-in-law is her idol but you know how unusual that is you know so uh um and it may be that you put your your commercial real estate dream on hold a little bit to feed your young 30 or 40 thousand dollar your job get an apartment and y'all grind it out she's got a year and a half left and then when she starts making money it's not a bad idea.

Then you go, if that's still what you want to do, right? Yeah. Or go get your license and start selling residential real estate for a couple of years until you can, and you won't lose anything by that. No, you can make your move. And you've got a better shot at selling houses, you know. But it can be done. It can be done.

I mean, I would. You're just, man, you're just stacking the deck against your new marriage. You're stacking the deck against your. I'm just trying to think from a customer experience standpoint. We've leased offices. Winston, my son-in-law, you know, we're the customer. And so would we sit down with a 24-year-old and do a lease deal? Yeah.

As long as he knew his stuff. Right. I'm not going to hold his age against him, but you better know your dadgum stuff or you're going to get filleted. But I also would want to know, does the folks in his firm, if Dave Ramsey calls and says, I want to do an office deal, are they going to let the 24-year-old go run out and do that? Or are they going to keep rolling you back to the bottom of that pile? That's a good point. You are on your own, Dave. When you work for a firm,

first in gets the stuff that falls to the floor. Michael, please study the income side of this equation and the housing side of this equation and try to lower the number of stressors. As long as you guys get your incomes moving by 25 years old, I think you're going to be able to handle the $200,000 maybe easier than some of the other stuff. That's what's scaring me for you, young man. We want nothing but good things for you, I can tell you that. This is The Dave Ramsey Show. whenever folks do their debt-free screams i always ask them what the key was to making this happen and they almost always say how you get out of debt the budget well that's because a budget puts you in control of every dollar you bring in every month you tell it where to go instead of wondering where it went when you start a ramsey plus membership you'll follow a step-by-step plan where you budget you learn how to to manage money the right way, and you get fired up as you make progress

on your debt-free wealth building journey. That's why we include EveryDollar, the best budgeting tool in the world, in your Ramsey Plus membership. You get custom reports on your spending habits, and you'll connect straight to your bank so your transactions show up right in your budget instantly. And you can try it all free with a free trial to Ramsey Plus. Do not wait another day to feel in control of your money. Start a free trial of Ramsey Plus. Just text the word BEGIN to 33789. That's BEGIN to 33789. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, bestselling author, is my co-host today.

Open phones at 888-825-5225. John, we have a ton, millions of young people 18 to 25 years old now tuning into this program with YouTube and some of the other technologies we're using to deliver the program. It's become wildly popular in that age group. Half the calls I get these days are from 25 years old and under. And regardless of your age, whether you're of that age group or you're 35 or you're 45, we have a tendency, I do it too, to overload our lives. That guy on the last call, he had a lot of stressors, you were pointing out. And, you know, any one of those things would have been a tough thing.

When you start stacking things five deep, and damage to your personal self, damage to your finances, damage to your career, damage to your relationships is really, really high. And it's kind of a Superman syndrome. My wife, she'll say, you don't need to do that. That's Jesus' job. Stop being the Messiah. You can't do everything.

You can't be everywhere. You can't do all this. You're stacking this too thick. That's Jesus' job. Only he can do that. You're taking responsibility for things you can't fix. You're taking responsibility for too many things you can fix. And it's getting too thick.

And the camel's back is going to pop with one more straw. There seems to be a busyness, an efficiency. Maybe it's the iPhone culture. Well, we have a cultural pathology if you will like a a psychological issue which is you solve things by adding to you solve things by getting another planner going to get more candles having a warm bath yoga and we never think that i can solve things by taking things away by stopping stopping things. That's number one. Number two, we have a cultural addiction to busyness.

That is our bread and butter, right? If you do heroin, you do cocaine, they'll put you in a rehab program or put you in jail. If you are addicted to busyness, and it's the same chemicals, addicted to busyness, we'll give you a million dollars. We'll give you a doctorate degree. We will applaud you. We're running from the same stuff. We're trying to prove that we're worth something by achieving. We're trying to prove something by how much we can get done and show, show, show. And man, Dave, whenever I find myself stacking things on top, on top, on top,

usually I've got a friend or two that will call me and say, I don't know what you're running from brother, but you got to stop and take inventory. Well, that was kind of our, well, we, we were the friend for that last guy. So there's too much stack. Hey, there's two, what are you doing? And he's trying to solve this problem by doing this and then trying to solve that one by doing that. And suddenly he's a couple hundred thousand dollars in the hole, making zero money, living in his parents' house and indefinitely right right and it doesn't the math doesn't add up the psychological and spiritual math and the the calculator math none of it adds up and you just got to sometimes start from ground zero some of it does come from uh even a generation before mine and i'm old yeah it just took longer to solve problems which provided for space and

wisdom and margin margin but now if you want anything you pick up this little square thing with a glass on the front and you tap it three times and stuff shows up at your door right like freaking santa claus is alive 24 7 that's exactly right donner and Blitzen work all the time. All the time. We name them Jeff and Bezos, right? You know, and it's just, yeah. And now it's not good enough that it comes in two days. It has to come same day. Right. You know, and our efficiency, our productivity has gone through the roof, and our piece has not increased.

In fact, it's decreased. It's not increased, right? You know, you would think that if you got better at stuff, it was easier to do things, that you could chill a little bit and your peace would increase. And if you don't leave that emotional margin, your adrenal glands get burned and fried and other stuff starts to fall apart and you really can't function. That's when you get into the diseases of despair, right? The organ disease failures and the suicides and the addictions we're living we've got more than we've ever had we are living shorter harder lives because we just stay constantly revved we put our foot on

that gas dave and we never take it off and sometimes he may this young man that we just talked to he may find himself in the exact same position. But when I feel like I'm on a house of cards and it's teetering off, it's best to stop, get somebody I trust. In this case, his fiancee. Go sit somewhere and just start from the floor up. Say, what do we have to do? This is that second or third call today we've had where people feel trapped in this either-or decision. And neither decision was good.

No, and neither decision is an either-or, right yeah and we just shove ourselves into these boxes are not unnecessary no it's not um it's not filling out a registration for a new app absolutely no man yeah uh in other words if you're making decisions number one you need to leave yourself some margin some wiggle room emotionally spiritually financially relationally or you're going to negatively impact the other things enough that it offsets any positive you did with the decision and you have to be prepared when you have margin dave it's hard to be by yourself it is hard to be i spent a few days out in the woods by myself this past week over thanksgiving man i got bored i got uncomfortable i hadn't i had time to think thoughts i hadn't thought in a long time i had time to write stuff down i mean it was uncomfortable

right you gotta practice being by yourself um but yeah i don't even have to practice that as much i just need to practice not trying to solve all the problems in 20 minutes that's right not trying to stack it so layered that there is just every ounce is squeezed out because um one flat tire and the whole the whole shebang goes out right yeah there's too much wood on the truck i mean when i used to cut wood uh so fire far when i was in college we fill that truck up and it'd be like you know the front tires are almost coming off the ground the thing's just dragging on the tires and you know we've completely filled it up but i mean you know you got the shocks are strained the tires are strained the engine is strained the bed itself is strained the cattle gates on the side holding the wood in. We're strained. Everything. One of those variables blows.

The whole thing is going to look like a cartoon. Instead of just making two trips. Yeah. Right? Just make two trips. I tell my little boy that all the time. And now I've got to go to the car in a few minutes, and I should take two trips with all the crap I've got to carry to the car. Instead, I'm going to pile it all up.

I'll be dropping stuff on the way to the car. It's the same thing. Right. It's the same thing. And my point of bringing this up is not him, not the caller, because he's not doing anything wrong. He's a sharp young guy. Yeah. And they're going to do fine.

They'll be all right. But the point is that we can all take a lesson from that people who become wealthy are always the tortoise. They're never the hare. They leave room for the plod along rather than the rush the tortoise always wins every time i read the book right ugly little sucker every time every time this is the dave ramsey show This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show. Once again, you made The Dave Ramsey Show one of the top four most popular podcasts last year. To get your daily dose of motivation and inspiration from the Ramsey Network, subscribe or follow today wherever you listen to podcasts.