The Ramsey Show - App - How Do I Stay Motivated? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual, amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host. The phone number here is 888-825-5225. We're here to help you and tell you the truth, because we love you. Alex is in Columbus. Hi, Alex. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Good afternoon. How's everybody? Great, man. How can we help? All right. We've got an executor who is the youngest of three sons, all biologically related. And he has not put the house up for sale since he became the executor or had the will in his hands. And he's incommunicado completely.

Any relatives he has talked to in the past, they want to know something about the house, when you're going to sell it. And he says, none of your business, just stay out of it. So we're trying to get out of the house. Who is this? How are they kin to you? He's my brother. Okay. So there's three brothers. Your youngest brother was appointed executor of the estate.

The will, do you have the will? No, he's got it locked up in a strong box in his basement. Do you know what it says? All we have is his now ex-wife was sure she pretty saw pretty sure she saw all three names as equals. Okay so he's just basically trying to steal the house. How long have y'all has this been going on? All right at least since mom died in march of 19 or 2020 okay so for five years four years yeah four and a half years yeah okay so you live there free and he won't and he won't talk to

anybody nobody's living there nobody's living there yeah it's been unoccupied all this time no taxes have been paid until, I guess, the county finally figured out that we can send it to Bernie. But his wife, now ex-wife, has paid the $40,000 in back taxes. So now the house is still stuck. We need to force him to get this over with. The house is doing nothing other than my best guess is

it's storing his big boy toys in the garage. So, well, there's an answer to the question, but before, I'm just curious, what's wrong with him? Boy, we're trying to wonder. He stopped talking to me probably 12 years ago. I know, but what's wrong with him? Boy, we're trying to wonder. He stopped talking to me probably 12 years ago. I know, but what's wrong with him?

He was successfully self-employed, and finally that dwindled because of the market. He went to work for a really good company in the area. I'm sure he's got a good pension and a good Social Security. Yeah, but that's not what's wrong with him. He's crazy. I know. Why did mom pick him? Let's see.

The older brother, me, my life has been a whirlwind of marriages that failed. The brother in the middle, he was a little bit of a rebel. So I never had kids baby boy mama's boy was at home taking care of business so she put him pretty much yeah okay all right well I mean the only the only answer to your question is one of two things forget it and walk away or hire an attorney and go before the probate court, which is the court that dictates wills, and they will force him to get the will out of the lockbox, and they will force him then to execute on the will. And if the will says equal parts, they'll force a sale of the property.

Okay. But there's a whole lot of expenses as far as... Oh, yeah. You're going to have legal fees involved. Sure. Oh, yeah. But we've got lawn fees, snow fees, and we're probably just going to have to eat those, right? I'm sorry, these are liens on the house from the city doing the work?

No, no, it was all private contractors. Okay, have they taken liens on the house? No. Who's paying it? Bernie was. Who's Bernie? The youngest brother. Okay, so he's been paying to keep the house up.

Maintenance-wise taxes, he never paid. I got it. Okay, so what's that got to do with dragging him into court? He got the yard cut, so what? Yeah, but that's coming out of our portions. We don't like that idea. Yeah, maybe. Maybe not.

Right now your portion is zero. Yeah. I know, but with him being executor, he's going to say, no, we're splitting it three ways for the 10 years that I've been in control. Now you're creating a story. He's not been in control for 10 years that i've been in control now you're creating a story he's not been in control for 10 years he's been in control for four years uh yeah so mom was in a nursing home for five years prior yeah but that doesn't mean he's that that's his problem okay he's the executor it didn't become your problem until four and a half years ago when she died. Right. Yeah.

Now, can the courts hold the beneficiaries that are not executors? Responsible for what? I don't know. For not getting this through, for not twisting his arm? No. No. No, there's not anything. The judge is going to look at this and go, Bernie, son, sell the house.

It's going to be pretty simple. Okay. Now, since this is so, now you're supposed to file these wills within what, 30, 60, 90 days? Yeah. Yeah. All right. So now. It's not invalid.

Go get a lawyer. Oh, definitely. Alex, just go get a lawyer. They'll tell you every bit of this. Okay. Just go get a lawyer. They'll tell you every bit of this. Okay? But you spend 9 million calories analyzing this over the last four and a half years, and you've done nothing about it. Time to be a man of action. Either drop this, no more rent-free in your head, and walk away and forget it,

or get a lawyer this week get a lawyer file something next week wake old bernie up time to give him a little bit of a cold shower here go to walgreens today and get a yellow pad and write down all of these questions that you have what about this and what about this write them all down and ask the lawyer ask the lawyer every single question you could possibly imagine which by the way 85 of them are you creating stories in the future trying to solve in the present which is a waste of your time yeah but go write them all down get them out of your body and go solve this problem i think you're trying to avoid the fight so i think like dave said um walk away drop it or do it or go get on with staying in the middle stay in the middle of the sewer patch i mean you're standing neck deep in the septic tank spiritually man get out man yeah it stinks

where you are get out get out get out and walk away or get out and sue old Bernie. One of the two. I don't care. Either one's fine with me. You'd have good reason to do either. But sitting where you've been sitting for four and a half years, let me tell you, if it's me, guys, here's how this goes. You got four and a half minutes, not four and a half years. Well, maybe four and a half months. Okay. But not four and a half years. I mean maybe, maybe, maybe four and a half months. Okay.

But not four and a half years. I mean, mom just died, right? I'll give you a minute. Okay. But, but you know, you're going to the whole, let me tell you what an executor is. It's one who executes. That's where the word comes from. They are not in charge. They do not get to make up new terms of the will. They take the will and they have to do exactly what it says. And if you don't like what it says, be mad at the dead person, not the executor. Because the executor's job is to execute what the piece of paper says. They're not allowed to do anything else. And Bernie, God help him, is not doing this. So Bernie's getting ready to execute because you're getting ready to execute on him. Here we go, baby.

That's how this works. This is The Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Thank you for joining us, America. We're glad you're here. Frank is in Miami. Hi, Frank. Welcome to the ramsey

show frank did i push the button let me try again there i did push it wrong hey frank how are you hello dave hello john thank you so much for picking up my call today sure how can we help so uh to give you some context right my me and my wife, we're pretty much almost done with baby step number three, and we want to move into baby step three, right? So we want to save some money so we can finally buy a house for ourselves. Right now, we are making, after taxes, around $67 a year. So if we want to follow, right, of course, the ranching method, we definitely need to increase our income since, you know, as we live in Miami, it's a really high cost of living city. And I want to make sure, you know, that we stick to, you know, 25% home take so we can,

you know, make sure we own the house and the house doesn't own us so I was telling my wife that she is currently working as a cook in a kitchen a Mexican place so she's making 16 an hour you know I've been telling her you know you I know you can make more than that you're great you know even the people at your work they say you know they they recognize how good you are but they just don't pay you to match how good you are. But whenever I try to have that conversation where, you know, maybe you should look for another job, something that pays you a little bit better because you can make more with

your abilities. She's always, you know, like she doesn't want to, like, or maybe like she doesn't want to get pressure about it. Like, and, you know, it's been this back and forth. And I don't know if maybe I'm in the wrong by trying to like insist or pressure her into you know getting a better paying position right now I make 27 an hour and now I'm gonna put and then in my job they do yearly reviews so they can give me a raise each

year so what is it that she could be doing that she would make more? So right now, we both have a degree in computer science. She told me that she didn't like it in the end, and that's perfectly fine. So I've been telling her, like, you know, if you want to do, like, a certification, or maybe if you will, if you really like it, like working in a kitchen, we can get you maybe through uh like culinary school something like that so you can you know maybe work in a higher paying position and she had when i tell her there's like options she's like you know they're so nice okay let me look into it

but then a few weeks passes a few months and you know nothing she's not doing anything about it and you know i kind of feel does she work for her family did you say no no no she works for that for a mexican restaurant just like a it's not family at all no not family at all don't know okay all right so your question is what so i'm at a point that i don't know if i should continue insisting and pressuring because it it caused you know some discussions between the both of us like because she's saying like you know maybe I'm like I never I never enough you know I never make enough based on you because like recently she only started working like around a year ago when our daughter got into school so first I was like okay you should know that now that our

daughter is in school you should get a job right I with the cost of living and everything then she got a position and you know I let her on that position for a while and now that i'm having this conversation like if you want to buy a house we need to increase our income you know she's saying like you know i'm i never you know doing enough based on your standards and you know we get into this kind of conversations so you know i just want to see yeah because it sounds to her like it sounds to her like that you are uh trying to just get more milk out of the cow, and she's the cow. She feels pretty used up here.

Instead of you positioning this of, honey, you are worth more than this. They are not paying you what you're worth. I want to see you succeed for you, not we need more money. You need to give more milk. No, I understand where you're coming from, and I do try to. You know, I know it sounds bad. 100% of what you said was about what you could get, and she heard you loud and clear.

Does she want to stay at home and be a mom? I think at the beginning that's what she wanted but then when we move here into miami uh you know the reality of the cause because we have family here that's why we move here uh the cost of living here you know catch up to us so that's why she then got a job and you know we we both want to get a house we don't want she doesn't want to get one bad enough to get a better job yeah so let me ask you like if i'm in your position and i've had the conversation and my wife says this is what i can handle or this is this is what i my capacity i can work in this restaurant and i come home and i gotta do the all the domestic stuff at home i can this is where i'm at what has kept you from going to double and triple and quadruple your salary? I've been trying to do it.

The job that I'm at, I got that just a few months ago. I got a raise from the previous position. I was making $20 an hour. Now I'm making $27 an hour. But I understand. I might come out as being just pushing it. I think that's what she's hearing, and I think that's why you're getting a pushback if she was hearing that you wanted this for your goals look you say you want a new house i'd like to have a new house

i i also would like to see you get paid more not because i want more money but because i think you're worth more and i don't think that i're worth more. I think you'd do something just as fun and make twice the money. Frank, let me tell you this. This is not about money, and this is not about a job. It's not about a house. This is about a husband and a wife with two different pictures of what success looks like. Relational success, marriage success, raising a kid, what different pictures of what success looks like. Relational success, marriage success, raising a kid, what this picture is going to look like. Anytime a couple

gets stuck like this, I always want them to go out and completely shake up the snow globe. And you've got family there. I've got family on the other side of the country. It's okay. Do I wish I could see them more? Absolutely. But this was what was best for my family at this particular moment in history. And so I want you all to start there. Do we want to live in Miami? Because if we choose to live in Miami, even though we have these benefits to be around family, here's what it costs us. And if those benefits are worth more than home ownership for the next five or six or seven years to do this the right way, then so be it. Number two, do we have to buy a house? Number three, what's your picture for all these things? What does it all look like? And let's get back on the same page there. And then

we get to the dollars and cents and job. And the way Dave said it is right. Honey, I'm tired of seeing how hard you work and hearing how great you are. And I can't stand to look at those managers that aren't paying you what you're worth. And you can choose to stay there for any number of reasons. But I just want you to know, I see more worth in you, in you. When it comes down to the money you're making, your coworkers do, you're the people who, who patron the restaurant too. And we're going to have that conversation. Not, Hey, you need to make more money.

You can go make more money, go make more money. Go make more money. Man, that's just a recipe for burning out, for burning out. Yeah, she's tired of hearing it. And she told you she's tired of hearing it. So, yeah, reset your pictures for the future. And then say what must be true about us to hit these pictures. And then that picture is Miami, maybe. House ownership, maybe. pictures and then that that picture is miami maybe house ownership maybe what has to be true to be a

homeowner in miami well it's not 16 an hour you and i both know that so these things are incongruent you can't sit and say i want to be a homeowner in miami and i'm only going to make 16 an hour it won't work you can't can't do it. It's an expensive city. And that's when you get to behavior as a language. And if someone says, I really want a house, I really want a house,

but I don't want to get another job, then what they're telling you is, I don't really want a house. And that's okay. That's okay. But let's just call a spade a spade and let's move on. Yeah.

Let's dial in exactly what this is. And men often get stuck in the spreadsheet part of it like here's the job here's how much money it's going to cost me and get this house and there's there's a bigger picture to that so sit down and clear the deck and let's let's work it through yeah it's important to reset the picture and be aligned on it i think i go i go along with that that's the thing and and i can just tell listening to you you're very uh ambitious you've got big

goals you want to do these things and when you start talking to her about all of that she feels like she's a method you're using to get there not you're not like you care about her well said well said that's that's how she feels i'm just listening to it i'm just an old guy's been married a long time that's all not even Not even a good therapist like Dr. John here. So anyway, this is The Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions. On the debt-free stage, Colin and Leslie are with us. Hey, guys. How are you? Good us. Hey guys, how are you?

Good. Hey Dave, how are you? Welcome, welcome. Where do y'all live? We are from Cincinnati, Ohio. Fun. Welcome to Nashville. And on the debt-free stage, how much have you paid off? We have paid off a combined amount of $89,000. Very good. And how long did this take? About 25 months. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? We took, I think, starting around 78,000 take home and ended at 108. Cool. What do you all do for a living? I am a regulatory coordinator for a clinical trial

company. And I'm in industrial automation. Okay. Wow. Good for you you what kind of debt was this 89 000 um 5 000 was credit card and then 85 or 84 was uh student loans oh almost all student loans absolutely so who brought the student loans into the marriage it was me okay yeah all right and how long you two been married uh it'll be three years here in november okay so shortly after marriage you look up and say, we're attacking this monster. I don't want Sally Mae in my house anymore. Correct. Yeah.

What happened? What woke you up? So, yeah, it started actually a few months before we got married. We found out we were pregnant with our first son. We were also about two hours away from each other. We were long distance at the time. And I just kind of had a basically come to Jesus moment. I was like, I don't want to do this anymore. I'm not paying anymore. And so we just, I did not want to bring our son into that. So we had a sit down and we're like, let's just take this side on. So we got married the first

month after that that we started paying and it went like that game on huh? Yeah. Basically How'd you get connected to the Ramsey stuff? It was all him. Yeah it was from my family. I grew up in a Ramsey household went to or did the FPU

class through high school I guess whatever that curriculum was called so I kind of grew up in and around it and knew that's what I wanted to do with our family when we started that. So we had a lot of support coming from our side of the family, my side of the family, with everything going on with paying off the debt. So it was awesome. So Leslie, he sits down and goes, hey, I know how to do this. I got this. What did you say?

I said, okay, you're going to have to help me. I was a little stubborn stubborn kind of had the mindset of if i've got the money in my bank account i'll just pay for it um no budget what's a budget i just pay whatever comes in and that left my account at zero every month not the best way to live yeah we definitely we there's definitely some some good arguments around finances with our you know the first six months of our marriage but you know i think ultimately the progress that we saw very early on and what that was doing kept it they kept the ball you know moving down the court

with us so yeah it's hard to keep doing something that's not working no correct yeah good for y'all i'm proud of you thank you i bet your family's proud oh yeah absolutely yeah setting up the the family tree that's what's kind of been my motivating factor and why to be able to do this and provide for them so it's a good why a new baby's a good why yep so how has this adventure helped you as a young new married couple new parents? I think it just helped us be more mindful about, you know, what's important, you know, what we want to just bring into our family in general. And it just setting a good foundation for a marriage too was the biggest thing. What was your biggest fight? Groceries.

Yeah, I think it was, I was the nerd of the budget, the free spirit over here. And so I think, you know, having those conversations on a monthly basis to just adjust the, you know, for the price of eggs going up 50 cents every single month it seemed like. So, you know, being a little bit, being able to, you know, counter her offer there with something that was going to work out and serve us best in the end so very good well done you two very well done good stuff so when people ask okay you're how old how old are you two we're both 26 yep 26 100 dead free way to go when people ask how did you do that what do you tell them the key to getting out of debt is? Just do it.

It's going to be hard. There's going to be rough days, but you just have to do it. Yeah, I think communication for us was key. Sticking to the plan that we had in place, being able to have conversations around it and not fly off the handle at each other, but be able to talk about it and say, all right, this is what we decided we want to do. We're not going to try to keep up with the joneses and you know worry about everything else going on around us just focus on you know our family unit and what we've you know got going on and what we're

working towards ultimately so and y'all both make a good salary in in some pretty like cool new industries what's it like rolling up to work not in the same car as everybody else. So we did actually have a car accident in October of 22 where our family car was totaled and then through insurance and some of our savings, we were actually able to cash flow and buy cash. I used 2011 Lincoln, so by no means the new and fancy, but it makes, it makes her feel a little special. I blend in a little bit to my coworker. I blend in.

So yeah, we, you know, we don't think that there's something special about what you drive or it works for what you need. So yeah. Way to go. You too. Very well done.

Very well done. How's it feel to be free? Just nice and calm, like at peace, I think, is the biggest thing. Yeah, I think when something does pop up, it's not a scramble to figure out, you know, how are we going to pay for this? What's going on? And, you know, there's a sense of calmness, like you said, to be able to say, all right, we'll take this in stride and deal with it.

I think that it's so weird when you get out of debt and have an emergency fund that hardly anything's an emergency yes well and i think like your life's like a country song before that everything can go wrong you know well that feeling y'all just described i don't know that that roi is calculated anywhere people always want to know what's what's the best return on this and what about this what y'all just described we're a young married couple with two young little ones is calculated anywhere. People always want to know what's the best return on this and what about this. What y'all just described, we're a young married couple with two young little ones.

The last thing we need is wondering how we're going to pay for stuff or when this bill is due or when this 30-day entry fee turns into. We don't have any of that. We just got peace in the house.

Yeah. And y'all have no peace in your house because you got two little ones. Yeah. Two little ones. This is Carter. All right. Good for y'all. And how in your house because you got two little ones yeah yeah we've got yeah two two little ones this is carter all right for y'all and how old's carter he is two all right oh and a brand new yeah and then this is everett and how old is ever brand new brand new one month yeah oh baby everett all right very good beautiful fun fun well you guys are heroes you changed your

family tree thank you those two little boys i have no idea what their mom and dad did for them they sacrificed and poured on it got it done in 25 months 89 000 paid off in 25 months making 78 to 108 carter and everett's mom and dad Colin and Leslie did it count it down let's hear a debt free scream 3, 2, 1 we're debt free yeah yes

way to go you guys nothing but sunshine man that's going places right there wow you know how rich they're gonna be oh man it's unbelievable and you know how much they don't care about that it's not what's driving them no they just want they just want that piece those two little boys to be okay man you know it's perfect very very well done man that's incredible folks if you'll live like no one

else later you can live and give like no one else later, you can live and give like no one else. You can change your family tree. You can take the steps to do it. You are in control. No one in Washington is in control. They think they are, but they're not. You are in control. You, talking to you, you are in control. Make different choices, change your behavior patterns, change your habit patterns, increase your communication with your spouse. Some of the communication might be loud, but increase all of the communication with your spouse and get this done. People, those two right there are a perfect example of how this works. Very, very well done. good work colin and leslie your heroes congratulations congratulations

we're so proud of you here at ramsey way to go this is the ramsey show dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today thank you for joining us america selling or buying a house in this weird world right now whoa a lot going on it's tough and if you're going to do either sell or buy in this weird world you need a pro in your corner the ramsey trusted program is the only way to find an agent you can trust to keep you on track because we trust them and the reason we trust them is all the due diligence we've done to figure out if they actually know what the flip they're doing. They didn't get their license last week. They didn't sell their first house on you. That's a bad idea. It's your largest freaking asset. Your uncle Charlie, who's never sold a

house before, doesn't need to be your listing agent. Think about it. That's dumb. Okay. You need to get a pro in your corner. So we'll send you some of the top agents in your area who we trust because they're high-octane, high-protein, get-her-done people. It's that simple. Go to Ramsey Trusted. Find a Ramsey Trusted real estate agent for free at ramsaysolutions.com slash agent. Alba is with us in Orlando, Florida.

Hey, Alba, how are you? Hi, Mr. Ramsey. Hi, Mr. Deloney. I'm good. Thank you for taking my call. Is it Alba or Alba? Thank you for asking. It's Alba, like Jessica Alba.

Alba. Alba. Okay, Alba. Okay, good. How can we help? Thank you. I have both of your books. They're amazing.

So my question is, how can someone stay motivated in baby step two when you deal with clinical depression and bipolarness, essentially that taints your motivation? Tell me about how it affects your motivation. Well, perfect example was today. All weekend I woke up at 6 a.m to start doing my atomic habit of getting up early and motivated for work i got to work and i couldn't get out of the car to go to work so i had to call in sick because i was just stuck with fear um so i'm always

gazelle intense super excited super frugal all my know that. But then I go into a depressive slump where nothing matters. And then it's just hard to get back on track. So one of the things I'm going to challenge you on, or number one, I want to high five you for trying to get as far upstream as you can to come up with some daily rituals, some daily routines that are going to help you be successful. Good on you. You've been working on this a long time, haven't you? Since I was 16, and I'm 30 now. Yeah, I'm proud of you. That's a lot of work.

I want you to never, ever care about motivation ever again. Because motivation comes and goes, and for someone who struggles with bipolar disorder, motivation can be a really terrible master, right? Right. It can lead you to some pretty heavy places. And so often the things I do, I'm not motivated to exercise. I'm not motivated to eat right. But I know those are the things that are going to help me down the road. And so I make my list and I do what I can on that list.

And then are you heading off into a low season? Yeah, I'm kind of going into mania. I wanted to reopen my business out of nowhere. Okay. How long do your low seasons usually last? They could last two months about, and then I go into a few weeks of just kind of bad decision making. Okay. So one of the things I've seen people be really successful over the years when I've walked alongside folks in your same situation is they have people that they trust and they have some really high hurdles for themselves. What does that mean? That means they may give their debit card or their, I don't know, their Amazon login to somebody that they trust

because they can be irresponsible with spending during some of the manic seasons. Or they have a boss or a supervisor that they talk through a little bit more than I would recommend someone to talk to their boss about, hey, this is where I struggle. And I may go on a downhill slope for a while, but here's what I'm going to do to manage the situation. Here's how I'm going to get my work done. Yeah, I have that relationship, thankfully. And who knows, you guys. That's outstanding. I appreciate it.

So the thing I want you to do, if you're waiting on motivation, motivation comes and goes. I wasn't motivated. I don't have bipolar disorder. I was not motivated to exercise this morning. But I knew coming off the weekend of travel I had, if I didn't do that this morning, it was going to cost me a whole week. So I do the things upstream.

For you, that's more challenging, which means you've got to get more resources and more support and more people around you. And then you've got to get more resources and more support and more people around you. And then you've got to do the next right thing on your list. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah. Just when it gets scary, because like today I live in Florida. I wanted to drive to Texas

and I've done that before and moved there. Or I wanted to reopen my business yesterday so it's, you know, I don't have credit cards. I don't have anything like that, so I don't go crazy shopping. It's more like drastic life choices. Sure. Are are you taking your meds I guess that's kind of scary uh yeah I am okay good on you I'm proud of you for that thank you I'm proud of you for that don't stop taking them okay good for you and did you drive to Texas today um no I drove south instead and visited my mom okay Did you start a business today?

No, I didn't. Can I celebrate that with you? Yeah. Because 10 years ago you would have. Yeah. And listen, this tells me That's progress. You felt something. In fact, you were motivated to do something. You didn't do what you're motivated to do. You're the opposite. You drove to see your mom. That's a safe place for you. That's one of those accountability partners I was talking about.

You felt like starting a business and going and going, and you exhaled and you did the next right thing. I'm proud of you. That's a big deal. Thank you. This is what growth feels like. And it's not fun and it's unpleasant at the time. Yeah.

And here's what's interesting. We are celebrating the fact that you didn't do it, and you're hanging out on I wanted to do it. Yeah. Yeah, I want you to hang out on you didn't. Yeah, celebrate that. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool.

I think it's a big place to hang out. I like what John's saying there. This awesome teammate of ours brought this box. It's not even a box box it's basically like a trunk of donuts this morning and put them in the middle of the office and of course what kind of a devil worshiper i mean she was pretty awesome but this was of course this was my i declare moment alba this is my like i'm gonna get back on track this morning and this was i walk into the offices but they're there there's a temptation from hell right

there in the middle of the room and they weren't just regular donuts these are like handcrafted nashville unicorn dust donuts but here's the deal i wanted to and i did the next right thing right i'm gonna go look for the box i know it's there that's what i'm saying don't do it dave don't do it dave step away from the donut let me tell you this and i'm gonna can i give you some hard truth some hard love yeah okay you know your challenges and you know the things that set you off and you know when i'm starting to get manic and you know i'm starting to get in a season of being pretty low. None of that is an excuse to blow baby step two. Those things are a context.

They're not an excuse. Okay. Your mission in life is not to, is not to say, well, I got this thing so I can just, I can just do whatever I want. Your mission in life is to say,

I've got these challenges and all of us have challenges. You've got some significant ones. And so how far upstream do I need to go to put hurdles in my way so that when those challenges are right in my face, I'm not going to make the next wrong choice for me and my future self. And I always want people to remember it's a context, not an excuse. I'm an anxious guy. I like to count locks i count i that means i gotta i gotta start counting five minutes early because i still got to be at work on time because dave says to be here and so all of us have challenges we just have it's our job to do the next right thing there you go well done well done i'm proud of y'all that's what i knew so um

someone that actually has bipolar which apparently she really does sure i mean um it might be one of the things that on financial crisis side i have seen of all the different psychological things you can run into i've seen that in here with crisis more often than anything else except addiction. Addiction is number one reason to put you in financial trouble. But bipolar, she's really walking a road that's full of mines. Yeah, it's very challenging. From minefield.

From minefield. And so it can be done, though. And the other thing is that just to not accept it as an identity and say, you know, she's come a long way. She's got everything. I dialed in. She knows exactly what's going on. She's intellectually managing her way through this,

which is what you've got to do. And you've got to have progress. It's not a thing. It's not an excuse. It's context, like you said. And there needs to be continual progress in that, or you've got somebody walking with you that's doing it wrong. And I want you to call somebody and celebrate your wins, like today.

Yep, that was a win. You did it. Two wins. Two wins. Proud of you. Didn't open a business, didn't drive to Texas. This is the Ramsey Show. Thank you. you