The Ramsey Show - App - How Do I Stay Motivated in the Baby Steps? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony answer your questions and discuss:   Staying motived on your debt-payoff journey, Selling an investment property, Paying off debt during a layoff, Finding a good side hustle, Why Whole Life insurance sucks. from the blog: What Is Whole Life Insurance? Investing time in your kids. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods, moving, and storage studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, and host of The Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality and host of the Dr. John Deloney Show is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. David is in Jefferson, New Jersey. Hi, David. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hello, gentlemen. How are you today?

Better than we deserve, sir. How may we help? All right. Well, I'm 64. My wife and I just started. I ordered the Financial Peace University at your Christmas special. Thank you very much. And we started on it in January, and we basically have been tearing into our debt. Good. We basically paid off around $50,000 worth.

Wait a minute. You paid off $50,000 in one month? No, we started in January. We started paying in October, but we went to financial peace, started in January. And you paid off $50,000? Yes, since October. Wow. I sold a boat. If it wasn't nailed down, it was going out the door.

Wow. That's awesome, David. Yeah. But my problem is I got $1,200 left on one credit card, which if I have a good week of side hustles, I'm going to pay that off this week. And for the first time in my life, I'll not have a credit card bill whatsoever. Wow.

Way to go, man. Yeah, you got it, buddy. Watching these things go to zero has just been a thrill for me and my wife good for you my problem my problem is coming up i've got a debt it's sixteen thousand dollars it's a 401k loan it has to be paid in full i can't make payments. So I don't – it's been so long since I saved money. I'm just not sure how to save that because the debt behind that is $21,000 on my wife's truck, and I know I can go after that and mash that thing down to zero and then come back and save for the other one.

I would. So I'm just motivationally – how do I, is there a trick? No, I think you're onto something. I'd probably skip the 401K and roll it on behind it. Is that your only two debts left? That's it. Okay, good. So we knock out the truck, then we've got to save up and do it, right?

Yeah. Very good. Okay. That's it. That's what I'm going to do. I was worried because my behavior has not been saving. It's been spending. But you're on a, you're on a, you got a momentum right now and I don't want to do anything

that trips that up. So knock that truck out. Just knock that truck. How quick are you going to knock that truck out? Um, let's see.21,000, four months. Yeah, yeah. And then in three months more, you'll have the money saved to knock out the 401. Yeah.

If you want to be clever about it, David, and I find myself trying to be clever, which always gets me into trouble, but you may go down to your – or just go to your online bank and open up an account and make a payment into it while you're saving that 18 000 yeah when you get to the 401k just pay yourself payments in a separate account john's saying gotcha and that that feels like you're paying it down right yeah it's just it's getting higher versus lower but that's okay it's going to get to zero sooner or later. Well, the point is, either way, by September, we're done.

Yeah, no doubt. It's gone by then. And for the first time in your life, you're going to be completely free. I will be. I'm so proud of you. We'll have a mortgage. We'll have a mortgage. I'm 64, looking at retirement.

We're going to knock the mortgage out next, maybe three, four years. Keep going. So if anybody says, is it too late for me, I'm just going to tell them, look up David in Jefferson, New Jersey, because it ain't too late for him. You're getting it, buddy. No way. You're getting it.

I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate the call, well done it's awesome it's awesome it is so easy to fall into a trap of i'm stuck and i can't get it and instead he's just like up on top of it whipping it that's right or i'm too young or i'm too old or i'm too man get after it you're not too whatever it is get it get it bust it brett is with us brett is in charlotte north carolina hi brett welcome to the ramsey show hi dave hey john thanks for taking my call today i really

appreciate you both sure how can we help so i'm in a unique situation my wife and i are both 39 years old uh we're debt free with the exception of our mortgage and a small renovation loan that we just finished up here in Hickory, North Carolina, right outside of Charlotte. Um, we did get a 15 year, uh, we renovate, renovated an old property, uh, with a 15 year and got a very low interest rate. Uh, with the exception of owning, uh, owning about 239,000, we have an investment property in the Smoky Mountains and have owned it and self-managed it as a vacation rental for the last five years. We're kind of in a unique spot where, given the increase in value properties in the Smokies, we're looking at considering selling it. And I wanted to get your thoughts. We do have a second child on the way in September.

We have a toddler now who's two, about to be two here in a few days. And we really want to focus our time on family, and we're afraid that the investment property has turned more into taking away the value of our life in terms of what we want to do with our time, instead of looking at it as a future investment for us for retirement. So how much money would you land on the kitchen table if you sold it? As it sits right now, we bought it at downtime in the Smokies after a fire, which was a good time for us then. We would probably pocket around about $350,000 to $375,000.

Okay. And so a good way to analyze these things is just visualize $350,000 stacked up in the middle of your kitchen table and you don't own the property in the Smokies. Would you go buy that property? Probably not. Okay. Whatever the probably is needs to be discussed but if you went absolutely not then that tells you you absolutely sell it right

so it sounds like you're probably selling it so whatever was calling you to say probably i guess still needs to be considered but sure what's keeping you from pulling the trigger man is it the idea of being like a like having multiple properties or you watched a lot of property brothers and you're like what what's the thing yeah good question john um and that's part of it man i think there's some emotion tied to the property um it was our home for a little while uh we actually became debt free because we were full-time rvers for three years uh we put our house up for rent in Nashville, which we later sold, and took the net proceeds from that sale.

That turned into renovation of this old historic property, basically what happened. But during that time we were RVing, it was our home base. So anytime we needed to collectively kind of have a long shower, if you will. As they say, that was then, this is now. Correct. Yes, sir. Now you're not an RVer, now you have a baby, and now you have a mortgage. Unchain yourself, man. And cut this thing loose, pay off your mortgage.

Yeah. And then start saving for your future investments. Maybe what sounds fun, you've done well with real estate, you may want to buy some more, but save up and pay cash for it after your home is paid for. And thank you to the Smokies. It did us well. This is the Ramsey Show. សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីបានប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី thank you for joining us america dr john del Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Hey, tickets are going fast for our Building Wealth live tour. Just four more stops on the tour, guys.

You don't want to miss this. You want to get control of your money. I am going to be live in your city, if you're in one of these four cities, along with the team. I'll be next week, February 16th. You can catch me in indianapolis with rachel cruz george camel and jade warshaw the following week february 23rd did i say april 16th was february 16th next week april or february 23rd i'll be with ken coleman dr john deloney and jade warshaw in austin texas on april 24th We'll be in Salt Lake City with Rachel Cruz, George Camel, and Christina Ellis.

And our final stop of the tour is Anaheim. I'll be there May 2nd with Ken Coleman, Dr. John Deloney, and Christina Ellis. Tickets are only $49. And you can get a four-pack of tickets starting at only $175. So hurry. Don't miss your chance to see me and the ramsey personalities in person we'll sign books uh take pictures answer questions we're going to have a blast you don't want to miss this go to ramsey solutions.com slash events and get your seats now these things do sell out early

uh austin texas just about gone and indy is uh i mean there's like 100 tickets left for indy so get tickets now if you want to come we'd love to have you zeke is with us zeke is in minneapolis hi zeke welcome to the ramsey show what's up hey thank you dave how you doing today better than i deserve how can i help hey thank you uh me and my wife were going over our expenses last night and got a little, anyway, upset over how much we were spending. So we decided we're going to knock this last bit of debt out we get with my bonus that I'm getting from work. And then we'll be clear on the baby step three. Great.

The problem is that right after that happened, found out that I am eventually going to be laid off. What does eventually mean? And when they tell me, when I'm being told I will be laid off. Well, I mean, what do you think? Is this a day, a week, a year? Could be a couple months. But what I do know is that after that, I will have 60 days of notice in which I'll continue to get paid.

And after that 60 days of notice, I'll be getting 14 to 16 weeks of severance pay. Awesome. What do you make? Oh, thank you, sir. I make, just my regular salary is 95. What do you do? I'm an analyst consultant. Oh, great.

Awesome. Thank you. Okay. So your income's getting ready to go up and you're going to get a new, better job, huh? That is, yes, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, you weren't looking, but they just told you to. Yes, yes, sir. So you need to land a job just in time to get that big severance check. Indeed. That would be great. That's like a signing bonus then, right? Yeah, it would be for me. Yeah. But I figured that in the worst-case scenario,

and it's not my goal at all, but even at the end of the severance, should be able to put the, if I paid off the debt immediately, still have a six-month expensive savings after the end of the severance. You're not going to have the end of the severance. You're going to get a job. I know.

Thank you. No, I mean, really, there's jobs everywhere. There's more jobs than there are people looking for jobs. So, I mean, you're in really good shape. Thank you. This is the best time to get laid off. Okay. Thank you for the support.

No, I'm not making this up. I mean, this is not support. I'm glad it's supported. If you were screwed, Dave would tell you. It also happens to be the truth. So, you know, I don't know if you're in Minneapolis at the end of the story or not. What's your wife work? What's she make?

My wife is unemployed. I'm a head of house. Okay, that's cool. All right. Well, you're in a field of analytics, data management, and so on that is hot hot hot very few companies are going to exist if they don't invest in your area over the coming five years companies of size anyway and so they you are your position is i mean it's deeply needed i got i got three of those type things on the board right here at ramsey right now so So, I mean, up for sale right now. We're trying to hire people.

So, data is just, and analytics are just, if you can't do that in the future world, you're not going to be open. And so, you're just, you're sitting in a sweet spot, man. And seriously, you might roll into 120 and pocket the severance as your signing bonus. You really might. I want you to start looking, and I want you to use everything Ken Coleman's got. Have you heard of Ken? Have you heard of Ken's stuff yet?

So, to be honest, you hired one of my managers a couple years ago, and he's the greatest guy, and congratulations on you for hiring him. I don't know if i can say his name but uh anyway he sent me a link to ken coleman's uh cool who is it who do we hire who are you talking about elliot chambers oh god he's great you're right yeah yeah that's awesome cool yeah that's that's amazing yeah so what you mean get get get stuff get the resume stuff i'll send you a copy of paycheck to purpose ken's book i want you to read that oh wow and so here's the thing i was just talking with a young guy this morning that uh in this mentoring session thing i was in and he was like okay how do you get security if you're working contract and i said everybody's on contract baby because you ain't got nobody's got security except for your ability to

land on your feet when they kick you out and you got so much ability to land on your feet that your security comes from your ability not your stupid company and that's why you're just in a sweet spot man you're you're just you're rocking and it's just going to turn out so good if you'll plan it just a little bit and know this um if you're like me like most men we put a lot of our self-worth into our job and when somebody says hey we don't want you to work for our company anymore it's a it's a it's a gut punch ken Ken and I have looked at some data together where losing your job, somebody calling you in and saying you're fired, responds in your body as though you'd lost a loved one.

So it's like, you're not crazy, you're not weak, you're not a wimp, you're not a whiny baby. Like, it hurts, man, when somebody calls and says, hey, you're fired. And it sets off a terror alarm in our body. It should. And then you get to fall back on the data like dave's telling here's here's what here's what's worse they didn't even tell

you that they said we're going to tell you that later but we don't know when yeah it's like dating somebody and they're like i love you i'm gonna break up with you later i don't know when yeah i mean it's terror. They just hung you out to dry. But, hey, you know, at least they dangled the carrot of the severance to get you to stick around a little while. Opportunity, opportunity, opportunity, man. By the way, if you get a really big signing bonus tomorrow and $120,000, just pack your desk and go.

Forget the severance. Understood. Okay. Yeah, so start looking. I'll send you a paycheck to purpose. If you can line it up for your start date to be about the time they announce at the new place, and unless there's enough money to leave early, you can get the severance as your signing bonus out the door.

That's going to be freaking fun right there. So, yeah, Zeke, you're in good shape. Yeah, go ahead and use your bonus money pay off your debt pile money pile money pile money for your emergency fund you got a big old pile for an emergency fund and you got the severance in the background and you got ken coleman on your team getting you moving thanks to elliot and man you got all the stuff you got all the stuff i know how to do and so you're you know you got your resume stuff. You got all the stuff I know how to do. And so, you know, you got your resume template. You've got, you're going to start using your proximity principle.

People you know, how can you get connected to get your foot in the door on this? And Ken's going to teach you every bit of that. And you're going to land a job in no time. Your only problem might be that you land it too soon. And you have to get the quandary of whether to stick around long enough to get the severance. And that might be a hard decision actually so but just keep looking get out there get moving hang on we'll uh have the guys pick up and give you a copy of that book and get you moving wow congratulations on your freedom zeke yeah one of the very few shows you'll call and someone says i'm getting laid off and we go go, yes, good. Good. Because you're not being paid enough.

This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author and host of the Dr. John Deloney Show is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Hey, if you're new to this whole Ramsey process and you hear us using this lingo on here that kind of feels like it's inside baseball, like you have to know all the stuff to be able to do the stuff, it's really not that complicated. But, yeah, we kind of have developed our own tribe speak, so to speak. And if you want to know a little bit more, and here's what you can do. You want to dig deeper into the Ramsey baby steps as an example, go to ramseysolutions.com, click on the get started button, and we'll help you figure out the next best step for your financial journey based on exactly where you are today.

It's completely free. Click Get Started, and we'll walk you through the whole process at ramseysolutions.com. Get started. It doesn't cost a thing, and it'll kind of get you into the lingo, and you'll get caught up here. Because sometimes listening to this show is like, what are they talking about? Well, I mean, you have to be careful. We overdo that sometimes, but this will at least get you moving in the right direction.

Gabriel is with us in Fort Lauderdale. Hi, Gabriel. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hey, Dave. Hey, John. How are you doing today? Better than we deserve. What's up?

So long story short, I'm working my debt snowball. I'm in baby step two right now, and I'm returning to a job that I love so much in school security, but unfortunately I'm expecting a minor pay cut. So my question to you is how can I efficiently, effectively budget my money and find a side hustle that pays a decent amount of money for me to be able to kind of survive down here in South Florida. Why in the world are they cutting the pay of school security officers?

Yeah, I am not sure why. I was working in the charter school segment, which is higher paying, but unfortunately they always drop the contract to give it to an agency for a cheaper amount. So I just went ahead and returned to the public school board in my local county. Have you thought about just going to the academy? I don't know a police department in the country that's not looking for people. I did. I applied over the summer when I found out that they dropped my contract.

And I was in the process of doing it when a new opportunity with training dogs came around and I thought it'd be kind of unique and different. So I wanted to explore it, but after about six months of doing it, it's not my thing. So I want to return back to public safety. So can you call back the recruiting officer and get back involved? Yeah, I absolutely could. It's just that working directly in the school is kind of something that interests me a little bit more than you know being out on the road as a police officer uh they're completely different jobs but i get that i mean i've i've i've had school um police departments reporting up through me at my at various universities what i'm saying is i get that those are different jobs i'm trying to out, is there a similar enough-ish job that doesn't require you to make nothing?

Yeah, to take cuts in pay. In an economy where people are dying to hire people. I mean, people are paying unbelievable money for all kinds of positions out there right now. And so, you know, I don't want you to be as stuck as you feel like you are. I think you could find similar gratification if you adjusted three clicks to the left or right and moved into something that paid double what you're being paid. I appreciate you want to sacrifice and be there for the kids. That's awesome. But they're making it untenable for you.

Let me paint you this picture. My dad was a police officer growing up, and he mowed lawns on the weekend, and he cleaned the church. He was the janitor for a season. And he would go help another. So that's the life. That's the choice. That's the choice. That's a tough road to hoe,

especially with so many jobs out there. And dude, it's in my blood. I love it. I love everything about it. That's my community. It's tough. And I just can't wrap my, I'm having trouble even wrapping my head

around how they would drop the contract right now. It's just madness. It's just madness. In a season when we need to be paying school security officers more to get more people and more qualified applicants to drop it is madness but that's where we find ourselves it is what it is you got to deal with the reality um i don't know man so yeah i think that in that world of serving and protecting there's a lot of things that fall in that bucket that would scratch the itch uh that you could either add to this position as an as an additional thing or uh or make a

change in that direction and either one would help you with your income side of the equation so you work the door at a restaurant or a club at night my dad used to work concerts on the weekends and in the evenings for extra money, baseball games at local, I mean, all kinds of side hustle jobs here and there if that's what you want to do. That are security oriented. That's right.

Yeah, and there's, my guess is there's a ton of that out there. You just get to poke around in that world, get in a couple of those circles of people that line you up on it. John is with us. John is in Concord, New Hampshire. Hi, John.

Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave and John. How are you guys? Great, man. What's up? Well, my wife and I are in Baby Step 6, and we're kind of late to the game with the life insurance thing, and I've been presented an option where there is a term policy

that can convert into whole life as an investment vehicle. Why would you want to do that? I was calling to find your opinion on that. It was presented to us, and I really don't know a lot about it. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. We'll have the house paid off here in the next few years. So if we did a short term and then started converting is what this person was telling us, we could use it as an investment vehicle and they pay dividends to us.

And I don't understand that. I just didn't know what your opinion was. Okay. So this is what, Northwestern Mutual, New York Life? New York Life, yes. Yeah. Okay. Because they're about the only ones selling that crap anymore.

It's one of the worst financial products on the planet not only is the term insurance that they price to you way too expensive but then they're trying to convert you into an absolute screw job which is an investment inside of a life insurance policy you're much better off just to buy term life insurance do your investing anywhere except new york life or northwestern mutual gross wow okay yeah horrible horrible remember that time you called dave to ask for his opinion yeah and that and he wasn't clear um so now let me back up let me back up and tell you the detail okay you want to hear the detail on i'll give it to you okay couple things one is there's two types of life insurance companies.

That's how I knew who this was. Okay. There's mutual or stock. Stock companies are owned by the stockholders. Mutual companies are owned by the policyholders. So when you buy a policy with New York Life, you're one of the owners of New York Life. Okay? You with me?

The same thing with State Farm. They're a mutual company. Okay? Now, here's the way dividends work in life insurance. Follow me here. You're the owner of the company so if you own a company and it makes a profit and they distribute that profit to the owners of the company that's called a dividend distribution does that make sense yes so if you opened up a company or you bought stock in home depot

and home depot made a profit they would distribute that profit. That's called a dividend. All right? So in a mutual company, they are talking about distributing the profits of the company that you own to you. You follow me? That's your dividends. You with me so far? I am. Okay.

Now, where do profits come from? The customers buying things that have profit margin. And so you, as a customer, are giving New York Life so much money that they're going to make a profit and give some of it to the owner back to you. Okay. This is a dog chasing its tail sounds like a glorified essential oil scheme yeah and so the irs has ruled that a life insurance dividend is not taxable income because it is the reef here's the irs, it is the refund of a deliberate overcharge.

That's the IRS's lingo. Run, run to ZanderInsurance.com, get you an inexpensive term life insurance policy. Good God. I get dividends. Yeah, it's a refund of a deliberate overcharge. It's kind of like saying, I got a refund from the IRS and I'm making a profit. No, it was your money. You overpaid the IRS.

That's why they gave it back to you. It's the exact same thing. And that's not taxable either, by the way. This is The Ramsey Show. Our scripture of the day, Proverbs 14, 23. There is profit in hard work, but mere talk leads to poverty. Dr. Samuel Dubow Cook, the first African-American professor at Duke University, said, Have a vision of excellence, a dream of success, and work like hell. It's almost like that conversation we had at the very beginning of the very first hour all came full circle man yeah there it is right

there there is profit and hard work but mere talk leads to poverty and sit down and dream think about what could be and then go get it i mean get after it it's It's awful. And it's scraped knuckles. And it's exhausting. And it's tiring. You get hurt. If you're a young man out there in your 20s and you're single, I want you to work so hard that you will be very attractive to that young lady's father. Well, that got weird, Dave. No, no i mean he will think you are a stud and welcome you to date his daughter that's what i mean guys i don't mean i know you weirdo but the i'm talking about you seriously i mean i was watching the newscaster and they're like you know seven million men age 25 to 54 that are able-bodied won't work they are not looking for work and the

lady newscaster said before she even thought she went she said well that's not that's unattractive wow you know it is it is unattractive makes you ineligible to the opposite sex. That's a common question. How do I get someone to date me, to like me? Work! Just make yourself the best version of yourself. Yeah, be excellent. Be getting it.

All right, Neil is with us. Neil's in Minneapolis. Hi, Neil. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, thank you. I mean that sincerely. You got it, man. What's up?

Sure. What's up? So the scenario that I'm encountering is I'm fully employed. On the side, what I like to do is make sure I'm going to give back to my community. So I volunteer with the fire department. I'm a fire medic. Over the last year, we've had a number of really traumatic scenes in my area with children passing. And so what has happened is I'm carrying that, and I'm carrying that trauma, and I come back home, and I have my children, I have four, who want something. They want to go to Disneyland.

So I'll simply just book that trip and we went because I always have that fear that I'm going to miss it if something does happen with my kids. And so I guess my question is, and I'm begging for some help here, how do I get past that? I don't know if it, I can't call it wasteful spending. It probably is. Let me tell you this. Let me take this. I've been there. I ran scenes and I saw things in homes and I saw things in the street with kids that will haunt

me until I'm no longer on this earth. And then I'd go home. There was two nights I know in particular that I went and went into my son's room and hugged him while he was asleep. Okay. I've been there. There's and went into my son's room and hugged him while he was asleep. Okay? I've been there.

There's times that I saw my daughter walk out that next morning with her hair all a wreck and she's kind of waddling through because she was real young and I just started crying. Okay? I get it. And you have to know this truth. You've got to embed it in your soul. Your kids don't want your stuff. They want you

and these moments i feel like this time i feel like this time together like that's that's what i'm trying to create at that moment yeah it doesn't have to be at disney it's not a moment brother you can go sit in a mud puddle in your backyard with your daughter and y'all let her put a hose over your head and she'll tell that story at your funeral what you're doing is you're creating a space between the trauma you saw and experienced secondarily they call it vicarious trauma and your own kids you're trying to create a distance you're using disney as the distance you're using a buying a bunch of stuff as the distance and you can't man they're going to feel that gap brother they're going to chase out their whole lives go sit in the mud with them and say hey hey, I love you and I miss you.

Go on a hike. T-I-M-E does not cost money. It's hard. Yeah. What you have to be able to do and grasp, which is really challenging for a first responder, is two paradoxes. I mean, it for a first responder is two two paradox i mean it's a paradox but two opposing sides you have to hold in your hand something you get to see a part of

the world that you don't that nobody else gets to see this could actually happen and then you have to also be honest and hold on the other hand but it probably won't and that's the tension that a first responder's got to live in and if you if you hit the teeter-totter too much on either side, then it causes chaos. So it could happen. I can hear it like I'm there. It could happen,

but it's probably not. So I'm going to go, me and my kids, we're going to go fishing. And you know what? We're not going to catch anything and I'm going to spend all my time uncluttering lines

and then we're going to get chicken nuggets or whatever nonsense. We're going to do time. And I'm going to have to look at them and say, every moment's precious and holy because it is. And Disney doesn't make that a way. I just feel like I don't know if it's a compulsion. I don't know if it's definitely something that's changed psychologically.

It's a trauma response. That's right. And if you want to be an actual brave responder, you need to go talk to somebody. And I understand if you don't trust your system, go call a local therapist in your town. Man, I, uh, you guys are going to help me

with this. Hey, Neil, listen, I went crazy. I'm joking. No, no, no. Listen to me. I went mad. and my wife paid the price for it. Don't do that. Go talk to somebody. Yeah, this is a post-traumatic stress reaction. They have a name for it, right?

Because you're seeing stuff that is acid being thrown into your brain. And it's very brave and courageous to do that. But then your brain starts saying, this is going to happen to your kids. And statistically, we know it's not. Right. And holding that balance and then not reacting. But what you're doing is a perfectly normal response to a horrible situation that your brain is in, right? I mean, you're not crazy.

This is just a normal response. As a matter of fact, the fact that you recognized it means you're way ahead of the game. If you called me and said, hey, I'm not having any problems and all my friends are i would say yeah you need to go talk to somebody now right that would tell me you're not functioning right the fact it's not it's not it's not normal for human eyes to observe the things you've observed that's right in the mass that you've had it happen i mean most people might see something like you saw once in their life, and you've seen it three times last week. Yeah. Am I wrong? That's 100%.

Can I tell you this, Neal? Because of your position and role, it may not be possible. You also have to know when enough is enough. Volunteer position. I broke the cardinal code. One time I walked into a situation, and there was this small child, and I looked at my partner, and I said the cardinal code. One time I walked into a situation and there was a small child and I looked at my partner and I said, I'm out. And her name is Patrice. She's amazing. I said, I'm out. And she said, you can't leave me here. And I said, I can't because I had

an 18 month old daughter at home. And we talked about it later and I was wrong. And I said, I was sorry. And she said, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm with you. That's why they sent two of us. And so if there's moments when you get a call out and you know I can't today, have the courage to say I can't today. I just fear that I don't know. It's not easy for me to do that.

It's not easy for me to reach out. I'm the guy that people call for help. I'm not the guy that goes looking for it. I fear that some of the stuff, I guess some of the, I don't know, these vacations, this financial damage is already kind of done. I got to kind of build out of it, which. Well, you got to dig out of that because that was a mistake.

I mean, it's a good reason to make a mistake, a noble reason to make a mistake, but it's still a mistake. That's why you called. You knew it was a mistake. You didn't call up and defend the action. You said it was wrong. It's a wrong response to a horrible situation. Agreed?

And it's not sustainable. You can't keep doing it over and over. No. What can I do moving forward? I don't know. I know I've got to stop, and I just can't. You can't. That's right. You hang on. We're going. I'll tell you what. You hang on.

We're going to set you up on the Dr. John Deloney Show and let you have a little more time with John because the top of the hour has run all over the top of us, my brother, and we don't want to leave you hanging. So you hang on. We'll continue the conversation on the Dr. John Deloney Show, and we're going to send you a copy of his book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future, and then I'll get you started as well.

That puts us out of the Ramsey Show and the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, it's Dr. John Deloney. If you like what you heard in this episode and want to know more about getting started on the Ramsey Baby Steps, go to ramsaysolutions.com and click on the Get Started button. We'll help you figure out the best next step for you based on your specific situation.

That's ramsaysolutions.com and click Get Started.