The Ramsey Show - App - How Do We Budget To Be Able To Buy a Home? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: November 14, 2022

Rachel Cruze & Dr. John Delony discuss: Hiding debt in relationships, Budgeting to buy a home and start a family, Managing increased income after a raise. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studio, it's The Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. I'm Ramsey personality, Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with Dr. John Deloney. It's a free call anywhere in the country at 888-825-5225. We're talking about your relationships, your money, your career, your life, anything and everything. So give us a call. Next is Rebecca out of Portland. Hey, Rebecca, welcome to the show.

Hi, thank you so much for taking my call. Absolutely. How can we help i'm about to be engaged and i need advice if i should stay with my boyfriend you have called the right place it's a lot of pressure oh my gosh re, oh my gosh, give us the story, Rebecca. What is happening? So you're about to be engaged. You know this. Rachel has never missed an episode.

Rachel has never missed an episode of The Bachelor. We have got you. Okay, go for it. Go for it. So we've been dating for a year and a half. My boyfriend is a recovering addict. He's four years sober. A month ago, he lapsed back into youth. Fast forward to last night, and I found out that he

still has $10,000 in medical debt that I thought he had paid off. Anytime we've talked about those two situations, he's ended the conversation by saying, I knew I shouldn't have told you about it. I love this man fiercely, but I'm really scared right now and I need some advice. Yeah. So a couple of things. So he struggles with addiction. That, for me, isn't a reason to say I'm out. And four years sobriety and having a rough day or taking some steps back, that's something that if you choose to engage in a marriage, you know what you're getting into, and you've probably got addictive tendencies of your own,

and we're going to work through this together. The part that has given me some significant pause that I think is the killer of relationships is secrets. This idea that I'm going to have an alternative life underneath my marriage and I'm going to have things that I keep in my drawers that she doesn't know about or he doesn't know about. And secrets, there's a biology to secrets. Secrets kill you and they kill relationships. And so there's a deception and dishonesty here. I'm hiding stuff from you, right? That's the part that, man, I think your instincts,

not saying you need to call this thing off, but I think there needs to be a truth-telling time, like no more secrets, no more. I don't like that impulse. I knew I shouldn't have told you. Yeah, because Rebecca, and why anybody says that, is it because you, if you can like be self-aware enough to know, are you defensive about, like are you coming at him?

Do you fly off the handle, get mad at him? Yeah, is it like that or is it you're just asking questions and trying to care for him and he still has that reaction? Like, what are those conversations like? I'm a pragmatist. So when we have those kinds of conversations, I listen and then I try to, like, find a solution. So that conversation last night ended because he said, you know, this debt is old. It's not affecting my credit score anymore. I don't have to deal with it. The collectors aren't calling me anymore. And I said, it's still debt. You need to pay it off. You said when you were talking to us that you thought it was gone.

Did you think it was gone because of the story you told yourself, or did he lie to you? That's a great question. I remember quickly, I'm pretty sure he told me he paid it off, or at least that's how it came across that he wasn't in debt anymore. So the language you're using right now suggests y'all might be in a pretty common relational pattern as people often marry or get into a relationship with people who struggle with addiction because they are fixers, or in your words, you're pragmatists. And I want you to be very careful about seeing him as somebody to fix instead of somebody to be with.

And often he may come to you with, I need you just to listen to me. I want you to hear me. I'm struggling. I'm hurting. And he's not asking for what do I do next? He's probably a really smart guy that's had to be pretty self-reflective to have gone through four years of sobriety.

He really needs his fiance, his girlfriend, his wife, his partner, his best friend to sit with him and just say, this sucks. Can I hold your hand? Does that make sense? All this is saying, y'all need to have a couple of hard, no more secrets, truth-telling conversations. And he may have more secrets like, here's what I need. I need you to not try to fix me. And you may have secrets like, I need you to never lie to me, never withhold from me, or this relationship's not going to work. You're going to run into a brick wall at some point, right? What's the probability of him relapsing? Oh, I mean, I think that would be, anybody's going to give you that kind of, I don't know him. I don't know what he's struggling with. There's no way to say that. Right. And I think your pragmatist wants a percentage. Right. Like, is it a 42% or a 17.7%? lifelong committed relationship with someone what what is that how do you walk down that path knowing i'm going to choose someone which everyone everyone's broken right like i mean it obviously

comes out in different ways but cocaine is different than heroin that's different than alcohol it's different than pornography that's different from smoking right so and trauma is different than people who work 140 hours a week so it's so if you're going into a relationship with knowing this though though, for her sake, what are the questions you would be asking? What are the things that you dig into for her to feel sad? Because what I'm hearing from you, Rebecca,

because I'm not a trained therapist, this is why I have John next to me, is I'm like, okay, if he's been four years, that's amazing, and I'm going to celebrate that. But he's gone down once. Is he going to go down now every single week for the rest of our marriage? Sure. Do you know what I mean?

You kind of go down that road. And what do you do? What is... And that's an anxiety. It's trying to grab control. I want to figure out the next thing for the rest of... Feeling it for your... Exactly.

So here's what we're going to do. We're going to focus on a set of core agreements that we're going to all be a part of and towards a life that we want to build. Right? So when you sit down with a builder and you say, I want to use the top of the top cabinets, I want the top of the top, then they're going to go shop and get them. Right? So y'all are going to create a series of relational boundaries and actions and agree to them. This is who we are. We are always going to tell the truth. Even if you have a relapse, you're going to tell the truth. You will never hide things from me. And that means when you need something different from the way I'm treating you, you got to tell me because that's a secret. That's a lie if you don't tell me. And I promised, right? So y'all are going to create a series of

behaviors that you will commit to and that you will double down on. And then you will deal with life as it comes. Right? And right and that that i think we focus so much on the goals and the outcomes if you have one more cigarette i'm out of here why does that person have to smoke maybe we've created a home that's so tense and so toxic and so hard and not dealing with all stuff right so let's create an ecosystem where we can both survive right and so let's start there but i think it starts with everybody sitting down in a room and looking at each other and say, it's time to be honest. Time to turn the lights on. Let's be honest. So good. Thanks for the call, Rebecca. This is The Ramsey Show. សូវាប់ពីបានប់ពីបានប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពី blinds.com's 100 satisfaction guarantee means even if you mismeasure or pick the wrong color they'll remake your blinds for free.

You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more. Use promo code RAMSY to get the best deal. Rules and restrictions apply. Today's question comes from Amelia in Colorado. My husband and I have been saving for a house since we got married 18 months ago and need a little direction as we plan for a family. I'd like to stay home with them and go to being self-employed part-time. Should we base our home purchase around our current dual income and pay it down as quickly as possible, refi when kids arrive? Or should we rent a few more years and buy something we can afford on my husband's income,

knowing that I will stop working when we have children even though we don't have a timeline for that yet. Okay. Amelia, I would, hmm. I mean, it depends on when you wanna have kids. I don't think you said that in the question. I'm really looking at it. But yeah, I mean, if you're gonna have kids in less than three years,

then I would rent, save up down payments and buy based on just your husband's income. But if you guys are going to wait five years or more to have kids, then I would save up a down payment and then do like, I would do probably like a split because by the time in five years, your husband's income should be going up, but I would do it where it's still that kind of 25, 30% of your take home pay. Yeah.

Here's the question I would ask. So one thing, I think this is good advice for all families. If you ever back yourself into a corner between an either or decision, I would stop the decision making process and give it 30 days and just chill. Because there's always more variables than just this one or that one, right? And you've backed yourself into, do we buy a huge house with dual incomes and try to pay it down and refi and put all these variables out here? Or do we just live in a tent and we're just going to, you know, plug along to,

it doesn't have to be either or. Um, and there's also Rachel. I mean, my wife and I, I mean, we had some, we're going to start having kids and it was looked up and it was three or

four years later. I was going to say three or four years later before, you know, or five or six million years till Josephine came along. So, um, we have all the plans in the world and who knows, and you might get pregnant the first week who knows. And you might get pregnant

the first week. You might get pregnant next week. So I love to loop back and ask yourself, why would you need a house for just two of you that you're going to max out your dual income

purchasing capacity? You don't need a house like that. Get a one bedroom apartment and enjoy your life or get a small, so let's reimagine what we're even doing here and why we're doing it and what we want You don't need a house like that. Get a one-bedroom apartment and enjoy your life. Or get a small little, right? So let's reimagine what we're even doing here and why we're doing it. And what we want versus what we actually need. Yes, yes.

And let's, I don't know. I like playing a long-term game here. But that's just me. That's good. No, I think so too. Yeah. All right. Let's go to Mike in Richmond, Virginia.

What's up, Mike? Hey, how you doing? Outstanding, brother. How are you? I'm good. good excellent what's up um so basically uh i'd like to just some advice on how i should be managing my money i'm coming into a big uh paycheck uh you know income change uh with my new job and um just how i should be managing it that's a great question.

What are you making now? What will you make? I'm sorry, what was that? How much money is a big raise? How much do you make now versus what are you going to be making? So I'm 71,000 base. Raise is 15%, so that's $10,600. And then I'm getting $1,000 a month per diem.

Also, don't have a lease or a mortgage. Living at the job site, the hotel, country club thing, so I'm living there. No food expenses either. I get vouchers for food. I also get paid to drive home every weekend to my dad's house. So basically, monthly income for the next year and a half, I'm looking at $9,200 a month. Yeah. And I was going to ask you, when does this job finish? A year and a half from now. Okay. So this isn't a long-term raise for the rest of your life. This is a single project.

It's a pretty cool setup for the next 18 months. Yeah. But the thing is, I'm in construction management. So after this one's done, I could sign up for the next out-of-town job and get the same deal. Right, unless construction comes to a halt, right? And here's what I'm saying. Rachel's going to walk you through the budget

and where you should be financially, but when you're working job to job like this, assuming this is just going to continue for the rest of your life is how people end up buying a hundred thousand dollar trucks and getting them all jacked up and getting campers and things like you see what i'm saying it's easy to get way ahead of yourself and i got buddies on construction sites and oil field sites that have a lot of cool toys and then suddenly they don't have any work right yeah no i uh there's a lot of stuff coming down the pipe that, uh, keep my

company pretty busy. So, um, I, I see, you know, don't see an issue with, uh, work coming anytime soon. Uh, do you, what kind of debts you have, Mike? Uh, zero. I'm very fortunate. Um, parents, you know, put together a college savings. So zero there. Um, truck is owned. Uh, my dad, um, fortunate enough, my dad purchased it for me while I was in college. Um, That's great. How old are you? No debt at all. 23. 23. Okay. Great job. Incredible. Um, are you, are you saving any money for retirement? Are you investing anything right now yeah um 20 percent uh total into a 401k um and so 20 into the 401k and then

or sorry 10 into the 401k and then 10 into the raw nice um that's great Are you maxing out your Roth? I believe so, yes. Okay. I believe so, yes. Because it'll be... And my company also is putting in 8%, I think, into that. Into your Roth IRA or your 401k? Is it the match? I believe it's the 401k, yeah, dollar for dollar. Yeah.

I mean, it's weird the way they do it, but it's 8% dollar for dollar basically. Okay. Gosh, Mike. Well, I mean, fantastic job. Fantastic job. So yeah. So if I woke up in your shoes, that's what I say around the show. But I'm like, if I woke up in your shoes, you're single, young, got a great job, no debts, you're funding retirement, and you're doing exactly what you should be doing. So really, when it comes down to it, there's three really basic things you do with money. You can give it, you can save it, and you can spend it. And so I would allocate percentages now on your paycheck for what you're doing.

So you have that 20% retirement. You could back that down to 15%. You know, you recommend 15%, that'd be plenty, which would free up some more cash for you throughout the month. Especially with an 8% match, right? Yes. Yep. And then I would be giving some, and then I would look long-term too to think, okay, where do I want to be in the next five years? Because you can enjoy some of this, right? Spending is part of the equation. But I mean, I would love for you to own a home at some point. I don't think it's needed right this minute, but I think home ownership is just a good investment long term. And so if there's something that you see down the line in the next four or five years, who knows

where you'll be with your job and life and everything. But if you just had some money set aside that you were just stockpiling for the next big transition, again, whether that's marriage or changing jobs or whatever it may be, is just going to help you. So I would really control your spending. You have a great income, again, to be able to enjoy life. So I want you to enjoy some of it because I think that you're just in a great spot. But I would just be really specific with my percentages. I would say I'm going to be giving 10, 15, 20%. I'm going to be investing 15%.

I'm going to save extra just for a future fund with another 10, 15%. I'm going to spend this amount. I would just be really specific because you don't need a lot to spend because your basics are covered, but, um, but have some permission to say, Hey, you can enjoy life. But I would assign percentages, Mike, if I were you. And Mike, let me tell you this. Um, this is just going to sound like I'm a guy who's walking uphill in the snow on the way to school, right? I'm just like an old man

in the construction business. There will be a season when this slows way, way down for you. And you're 22 or 23 and you don't see it yet. It will come. And there's going to be somebody that you meet and you want to get married and doesn't want you on the road for the rest of your life. So Rachel's wisdom is so wise. Why don't you decide at 30, I want to pay for a house in cash. I want to do that. So I'm gonna start putting money away in an account and hold on to it and live as frugally as possible because there's going to come a rainy day and there's going to come some excitement that I don't even know is on its way. Right. Are you sick of planned obsolescence?

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I am Rachel Cruz with Dr. John Deloney hosting today. And up next is Anastasia from Jacksonville, Florida. Hey, Anastasia. Welcome to the show. Hi, guys. Thanks for taking my call. Absolutely. How can we help?

So my question is about how can I protect myself and not compromise my standards in dating relationships? Ah, great question. Sounds like relationship expert John Deloney can help. I got no, okay. Is this coming from a particular issue? Something happen? Oh, yeah. Tinder, Tinder, Tinder, the app.

So I swiped right in. What's the basis of the call so i have had um some duties of relationships and marriages uh tried my tried my hardest to do the right thing my whole life and it just you know hasn't worked out too well but um i got out of a bad my second marriage which is another bad marriage last year i was on track to and i i i'd like to listen i'm not kidding i listen to the podcast like non-stop every day i have not missed one john baloney show like i it's clearly not helping you should maybe listen to a different podcast i'm not doing very good anastasia well that's the thing i'm having this cognitive dissonance between what i know I need to do and what I actually do. So, like, I met someone, I fell for him, right?

But I had these deal breakers up front. I've caved on, like, most of them or whatever. And I just don't know how it is that I keep falling in this trap of not, like, holding my boundaries in order to, like, either, yeah. What happened in your, in your last marriage? Like in, in,

in one sentence, what happened? Um, got married for the wrong reasons. And there was a lot of, what does that, what does that mean for money? Good looks.

He was a great kisser. Like what, why'd you get married? Um, basically not to go too far into it but there was some lying based on they didn't share things about themselves before we got married and and and we were kind of you know not head over heels or anything but we were going to try it but there was some deal breakers that happened and i had to leave for my mental health.

Ultimately, you've probably heard the saying, we marry our unfinished business. Have you ever heard that? Yeah. The things that we need to work in ourselves, we often subconsciously look to have that puzzle piece met

through somebody else and the problem is they are doing the same thing with us and we get together and we create a dance and we realize that no external entity can fill up a hole that's inside of us and it implodes and then we go do it again and we go do it again and we go do it again and until you decide that you and you alone have intrinsic value from the inside out and begin living that way you create an identity that says i have anastasia has value not only the way i quote unquote try to do the right thing but i do the right thing because it's the most honoring thing to me because I'm worth the right thing I'm worth taking care of my body

I'm worth being a steward of my mental health I'm worth great relationships where I can laugh and be safe I'm worth those things that's why I do the quote unquote right things not because the right things are in and of themselves intrinsically right things, but it's because they work, right? They make our lives better. And so I'm going to do these things because I have value. And then I'm going to meet somebody not because like Renee Zellweger and Tom Cruise across the room, like you complete me.

No, you're with me. And together you and I are going to create something totally new. And that's a completely different proposition. That's not about healing. That's about creation. And that's a different world. See what I'm saying? Well, yeah, and I thought I was doing that.

Like I thought I was there. No, but you're still doing it with another person. You're trying to drink the right alcohol to stop being an alcoholic. Because I finally felt whole just me. And I finally felt like I was feeling really good and loving myself. You know what I mean? And then I felt like I didn't even... You felt healthy, so then you went and got into another relationship.

And then within that relationship, you started compromising your... Yeah. And then you're thinking, why do I keep doing this? relationship and then within that relationship you started compromising your yeah and then and then you're thinking why why do i keep doing this probably because yeah so let me let me challenge you anytime somebody this is just it's a trigger for me when somebody says i started loving myself and feeling good my next question is what were you doing differently? Because loving yourself and feeling good is very much in your head and it's the actions that heal us. Okay?

It's the things we do. And we can get some space from rage and we can get some space from abuse and we can get some space from dysfunctional relationships and our bodies begin to breathe again and we mistake that for healing that's not healing that's just not hurt that's not affirmatively hurting anymore i'm not hitting myself with a hammer anymore that doesn't mean my arm's better i've got to do something different okay see what i'm saying and so yeah you had a chance to breathe you had a chance to smile and laugh a little bit again.

You felt good. And then you can start doing the hard stuff, like dealing with the past traumas that I know are there, like exercising and moving my body and getting with some friends and having some girlfriends that I can just go laugh with and hang out with. And then your body begins to heal, and then you're going to meet somebody. You see what I'm saying? Yeah.

You just got to decide I'm going to do it in that order. Am I guessing? I'm in so deep because I have feelings for this new person and now I feel like I don't know how to back out of it because I feel like you know do I work with them and keep on trying but I'm having to like like all your marriage and money stuff is like not jiving too well with them and it's like trying to convince them I'm like and I'm just working too hard here yeah because in my head I'm like relationships are work but it's not from the front end of trying to put these pieces together and trying to make it, right? Yeah, yeah.

I'm not the relationship expert, but in my head, I'm like, it does feel like you're trying to make something work that is not naturally working. There should be a level of something naturally is connecting and that we naturally agree on values. You're putting way too much in the wheelbarrows just to get out of the gate. Just go have fun. Go bowling. You know what I mean?

Like, like, go, go enjoy your life. Laugh often. Find joy. Go to a movie. Without a guy?

Both. Sure. But like, go with a guy. But it doesn't have to be like, hey, while we're here, are we going to share bank accounts?

What do you, what is your opinion? Like, you know what I mean? Like, but eventually she's going to have to ask those questions. That's right. And then when that happens and it doesn't jive,

then you don't want to compromise the future where you're thinking, oh gosh, this really isn't. But she needs to chill a little is what you're saying. Yes. Usually, and tell me if I'm wrong, Estesia, on the back end of multiple relationships that have imploded on you, it's really tempting to try to short circuit the process and get all that crap out up front

so I don't have to go through the pain on the back end. Yeah. Is that right? That's exactly what I was trying to do. I was trying to like... You can't do it that way and I hate that for you, but that's just not the way they work. You can't do it.

That's like getting a new... You get fired from a job and you get fired from another job and then you just show up to your third job and you go I want four years of salary right now give it to me now and then I'll work real hard and they're like that's not really how that works you can't do it like that and it's a recipe for you being frustrated and the person you're dating being like oh I I just want to go why does she want my why does she want my tax returns and my 401k statements? Can we just go to the movies? Can we go to the movies? I mean, I'll trade you a Ted Lasso for your FPU videos if that's going to mean something.

I mean, I'll do it. Right? That's what we're talking about. I want you to just take 30% off. Take 40% off and breathe. And I want you to find some people in your life that you can be fully you with. And they're going to challenge you to begin to act differently. That's good.

Let that confidence grow from the inside out. Okay? You're worth it, man. You're worth it. And so is FPU. Those videos are wonderful. Great date material. Jeez Louise.

First date. Don't compromise your values. I want to binge watch Financial Peace University. Don't compromise your values. Todd. Todd. This is The Ramsey Show. ស្រូវានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលានដែលា� 888-825-5225 This is The Ramsey Show.

I'm John Deloney, joined by Rachel Cruz. We are taking your calls on money and on life, on anything else you've got going on. Let's go out to Anthony in Kansas City, Missouri. What's up, Anthony? What's going on? How you doing? We're doing all right, brother.

How are you? I'm pretty good. It's hot over here. It is making its way across the country here. So what's up, dude? How can we help? Hey, I was just calling today because I'm trying to get some advice on starting a budget, trying to get out of debt.

I don't have any clue on where to start. I downloaded the EveryDollar app and I still don't know where to start on anything. All right. Starting from scratch. So, Anthony, yeah. So, what is your situation? How much debt do you have? you have any savings kind of where you at um i don't have any savings i don't have anything like i i own my my mobile home um i'm about i would say about 15 000 in debt okay including my car is that car credit cards student loans um it's more like hospital bills okay and like some cell phone service stuff okay and how much do you make a year uh 31 000 okay what do you do um i don't have a forklift for for hostess actually okay yeah yeah awesome. Yeah. Awesome. Okay. Well, Anthony, I mean, yeah, I think one of the best starting places and what you did, which is great is, is the budgeting. Um, when you do a budget, there is this level of feeling completely in control of your money. And for you, maybe for

the first time ever where you're thinking, Oh gosh, you know, I don't know, I'm getting my paycheck in and I have no clue where it's going. And so what you want to do is you want to do it before the month begins. So we're here in July right now, the beginning of July. So you could even say, I'm going to start this in August. So August 1, and you're going to look at your budget for August. You're going to look at your expenses, everything from your, yeah, if you have a payment on the mobile home, to electricity, water, food, and you're going to go down the list and every dollar has suggested categories already in that budget. So you may could take some of those out. If they don't apply to you, you can add some. And then you're going to put dollar amounts next to all of those categories. And the goal is your income for

August minus all of those categories, including giving and saving in your case, will equal zero. So every dollar coming in in August is assigned to a category. You know exactly where your paycheck's going. And since you're starting out kind of at a clean slate, your goal really is $1,000 emergency funds. That's your number one goal before paying off debt. And so you can use your budget then to be your guide to say, hey, what can I cut? Are there things I can bring in extra income? Could I get a side gig at night? How's a way to raise my income? And where can I cut expenses in my budget? Realistically, I'm not asking you to like spend $20 in food for the month or something, right? You want to be realistic about your budget. But it's a great guide to say,

hey, here's where my money's going. Where can I cut to get that $1,000 quickly? And quickly, Anthony, I mean, you're changing your entire life right now when we're talking about money. Like if you have not been on any kind of system, any kind of plan, this is a complete mindset shift that you're about to experience. So things are going to be new. It's going to be uncomfortable. You're going to do things you've never done before. But that's a good thing because you want to start winning with money, which means you're going to do things you've never done before. And so that budget and getting that thousand dollars, that's your first goal. And really, it's kind of the thing that I always tell people.

It gives you a sense of confidence. And the budget will take about three months to work. So August will probably be a disaster. And that's okay. Give yourself grace. September, it'll kind of work. October, it's like, okay, by Christmas for sure, by Thanksgiving, you're going to say, okay, I get it. I know.

I feel in control. And that's going to be able to guide you get it. Like I, I know I feel in control and that's going to be able to guide you to getting that thousand dollars and also start working your way out of debt. I just did a lot of talking. I did a lot of talking with your, yeah. What questions do you have? No, that's perfectly fine. I definitely appreciate it. Um, so a couple of questions I have is at the moment I'm currently behind on quite a bit of bills. My gas for my house is about $1,000 behind. My car payment's behind about $1,000. How did it get that way, Anthony?

What happened? Because that doesn't happen overnight. That doesn't happen one month. That's two or three or four or five months. Yeah. So, I have a terrible spending habit for impulse buying on pretty much every paycheck. So like I'll pay

what I think I can pay and then I'll be like, oh, I have 200 left. I have to have 200 left for myself. Okay. For random stupid stuff. Do you, if I'm asking you honestly

and I want you to answer me honestly, do you struggle with addiction in any way? No, no. Nothing like that? Totally clean? Okay. All right. So this is purely, you're just not disciplined with your money. Yeah. So I'll go out and I'll buy like a $75 air purifier or some kind of appliance or i'll go out and just random stuff okay and and when you're doing that anthony is it because it's exciting because you're bored because like what's the what's the why behind that impulse spending for you i would feel like it's exciting because every time i get money i I'm just like, oh, I have some money I can spend.

Yeah. And then I'll just go out and I'll spend it. Yep. And then after you spend it, when you look back now where you're sitting, all the air purifiers and all the random stuff you've spent, has it been worth it? Is it worth it? No, not at all. Because then I end up either never use it. It's just a paperweight at that point. I'll use it for about a week and then that's it. Which is human nature, by at all. Because then I end up either never use it. It's just a paperweight at that point.

I'll use it for about a week and then that's it. Which is human nature, by the way. Everyone does that. We all think if we're going to spend money, it is, right? John talks about this. I do it too, man. How the chemicals in your brain, it's exciting. Your body, you get a little adrenaline and it's fun.

And you're like, oh, okay, okay, okay. So that happens to everyone. So for you, Anthony, it's really this moment of saying, you know what, I'm going to be an adult. And there's a quote, Dave always says that adults devise a plan and follow it. Children do what feels good. So there's a level, Anthony, that it's like, you got to, you have to be a grown up. You have to be an adult. You got to pay your bills. You got to say no to yourself, even when you really, really want it. And so on a very tactical side before this call gets short, is I want you to catch up

on all of your bills before anything else. And so Anthony, I'm going to really press you. I want you to get one or two extra jobs. Today. I want you... Today. You have to radically do something different. Because if you keep doing what you've been doing, you're going radically do something different because if you keep doing

what you've been doing, you're going to keep getting what you've been getting. And so bringing in income and then you're cutting everything. And to say, you know, I, I will not, I will not spend on this. But you talk about this too, the behavior change aspect though. So look, dude, put, you got to put some hurdles between you and this impulse. Okay. Uh, we, Rachel and I talked about on a previous show, it's the gap between stimulus and response. I want to go buy this thing. I need this impulse. Rachel and I talked about it on a previous show. It's the gap between stimulus and response.

I want to go buy this thing. I need to go buy this thing. That's the gap you've got to control because that's what's getting you in trouble. What does that mean? Take your debit card out of your wallet and leave it at home. Don't leave with it. Make your lunch and take that to work

to where that's all you have. And if you forget to take your lunch, you don't eat that day. You won't do that very many times before you get really hungry and you start making your lunch, make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or some beans and rice or whatever it is to get to work. Get rid of Amazon Prime. Just delete it. Make yourself have to jump through a bunch of hoops to go spend money. And that will give you some space on your way to jump through a bunch of hoops to go spend money and that will give you some space on your way to jump and throw these hoops to say whoa what am i doing what is my body trying to tell me what am i trying to avoid what am i embarrassed about what am i ashamed about and

my guess is you work real real hard and it's annoying to you that you can't just go get what you want is that fair yeah, that's absolutely true. You bust your butt every day, and you do work in the heat, and it's hot, and it's hard, and you're driving a forklift, you've got a skill that other people don't have. And dude, I just want to think air purifier. And I can't afford it because they're about to shut my gas off. And so the not nice way of saying this is you are broke,

and you're in a scary position. You're about to lose your home, dude. Right? Yeah. Yep. So as Rachel said, it's time to do everything differently. Right? Opposite.

How old are you, Anthony? Opposite Anthony. I'm 32. 32. Okay. Well, I'm excited for you because I really do. Hang on the line. Austin will pick up.

We'll give you a subscription to Ramsey Plus because that adds in every dollar in the videos. But Anthony, I want you to be radical. I want you to do the opposite of everything you've been doing. I want you to work like crazy and I want you to pay your bills instead of paying for air purifiers. Change it up. You can do it. You can do it. All right.

We'll be back for another hour on The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Rachel Cruz, co-host on The Ramsey Show. If you want to do your debt-free scream live on the show, visit ramsaysolutions.com slash debtfreescream. We'd love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story. That's ramsaysolutions.com slash debt free screen.