The Ramsey Show - App - How Do We Care for Our Aging Parents Financially? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: January 5, 2022

Home Selling, Relationships, Retirement, Investing, Debt As heard on this episode: Sign Up for a FREE trial of Ramsey+ TODAY: https://bit.ly/3rZTUAx Tools to get you started:  Debt Calculator:�...�https://bit.ly/2Q64HME Insurance Coverage Checkup: https://bit.ly/3sXwUn5 Complete Guide to Budgeting: https://bit.ly/3utmVXi Check out more Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3fHhbVE

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us, America. We're glad you're here. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. This is a show where we talk about your work, your relationships, your life, and your money, and how they all work together, whether you want them to or not.
Starting point is 00:01:02 Open phones at 888-825-5225. Susie's in Minneapolis. Hi, Susie. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave and John. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up?
Starting point is 00:01:15 Okay. My 90-year-old parents moved into an independent care apartment. Their house that they have lived in for 65 years is now vacant for the last year and a half. It's in their will that it would get divided up between six people. They currently don't need the money. Should we sell it now or wait? That's an emotional thing, isn't it? Yes. How long have they been in the independent care? It's been a year and a half. Are they both, how are they doing with their cognitive?
Starting point is 00:01:54 Are they both of right mind? Yes, they have each other. So my dad, you know, watches out for my mom. They get along well. The other needs are met. What do they think about selling the home? Well, for the longest time, my dad never, you know, he bought it in 1955. He doesn't want to sell.
Starting point is 00:02:19 And now they're realizing, of course, that they're never going to go back. Right. So I don't think he wants to sell, but he's starting to think about it. Okay. Well, they don't need the money, so there's no hurry. And as long as they are capable of making the decision, it's their decision to make. Yes. And I would let him come to his own come to come to this conclusion on your his own it sounds like he's the kind of guy that just takes him a little
Starting point is 00:02:50 while to come to the it would take me a little while if i was him yeah to come to the reality turning loose of that is like part of admitting you're you're not going to make it in this life and by the way that we all aren't going to make it we know that but you know there's something emotional to that when he releases that it's like it's like sitting down doing a will it's like admitting i'm gonna die uh-huh is there one of the six who of your you know is one of your brothers and sisters that is saying they want this house when oh no nobody wants to host okay okay the one thing i don't like is people leaving real estate to multiple parties i've never seen that not be a mess yeah i'd go ahead and sell it as soon as he's able to do that emotionally okay there's no it's not doing anything it's
Starting point is 00:03:41 just sitting there and as you said the the poignant words, but they're real words, is they're not going back there. And just when you say that out loud, it hurts your heart a little bit. I don't even know you guys. It hurts my heart a little bit. It's hard. Thank you. But, I mean, you know, that's what you're saying. You're saying dad and mom are going to die someday.
Starting point is 00:04:01 Oh, my God. I don't want to say that out loud, but that's the truth. And inside that house for half a century, there's so many memories and joys and laughter and tears. That's hard. Yeah, it's very hard. It's a very emotional decision as far as the real estate and the financial part of the decision.
Starting point is 00:04:20 It's pretty simple. It's sitting there making no money. It's going to be a mess for the six of you to sell and have to deal with later after they pass it's much cleaner for everyone if you go ahead in terms of the financial aspect to go ahead and sell it now but i don't want to walk through your grief with my muddy boots and say you have to do that instantaneously. So I would do it as soon as he is able. In other words, Dad, when you're ready to sell it, I'm ready to help you. But I'm not going to push you, Dad, because I understand how much of your heart is in those hardwood floors.
Starting point is 00:04:57 Okay. Yeah, that's kind of where it is right now. Yeah. But I'm going to ask you about it, Dad. I'm going to lovingly and kindly ask you about it to make sure you're processing this decision. But when you're ready, I'm ready to help you. And I'm going to cry just like you are. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:14 Yeah. That's me talking to him if I'm you. Yep. Got it. Make sense? Yes, it does. Yeah. Let's get rid of it as soon as we can get the emotional part the the grieving of
Starting point is 00:05:26 the that phase of life is never going to be again there's never going to be another christmas tree from your family in that living room and uh boy if i don't put a tear in your eye i don't know who you are well there's something something about just saying that stuff out loud oh man right and you can feel it and it's out there but it's separate from you and you get to your body do all this we do all this macabre humor with my family. Yeah. You know, so like we have a meeting every year, the If Dave Dies meeting. The When Dave Dies meeting.
Starting point is 00:05:52 If Dave dies this year, here's what happens with the company. Here's what happens with real estate. Here's where we are. It's like a status quo. And if in the next 12 months Dave dies, this is what it is. And I call it the Monty Python meeting. You know, I'm feeling much better. It's just a flesh wound And I call it the Monty Python meeting. I'm feeling much better. It's just a flesh wound.
Starting point is 00:06:08 But it just makes you say out loud your mortality. And just, man, it's wicked weird. That's why I have to joke about it because it's just awkward and uncomfortable. I have to push it off with humor. But oh, my gosh. But I remember when my granddad sold his home that he'd been in 40, 50 years. And he quietly sent checks to his kids. And as this was going to happen then, this happened.
Starting point is 00:06:35 I went ahead and took care of this now. And there was something powerful. And he was an engineer. He's a pragmatic guy. But it was something powerful about here's the reality that we're all facing. And this was every bit of part of y'all's life as it was mine. I went ahead and took care of this for you. I took care of it and exchanged cash in the driveway with some guy.
Starting point is 00:06:51 And it's just a cool story there. And that's hard, and it took years to get there. But, man, it's a new way to do it. But it's a – you know, I knew a guy that was a pastor that was an African-American guy that was a friend of my pastor's and a friend of mine as well. My first pastor. And he turned, I think he turned 88 or something like that. And he was driving to the grocery store and he realized that I'm that guy.
Starting point is 00:07:19 I'm the slowest guy. I'm the old man in traffic. Oh, no. And I'm going to cause a wreck. Because he said, I looked up and I realized on my way, you know, two miles to the grocery store and two miles back, I had swerved into the other lane twice. And he goes, I've become that old man. And I thought it's the most manly thing I've ever heard anybody do. That a man steps up at 88 years old and he dropped the keys in the bowl at his daughter's house and
Starting point is 00:07:45 he said i'm not driving anymore sell the car wow he said he's self-aware so self-aware but i mean that's that requires humility and vulnerability backbone strength the level of courage to me that was just like conan the barbarian dropping those keys in that bowl, man. That was just... Because that's a level of self-awareness very few people have. Well, it's one step beyond that. I think a lot of us have self-awareness. We're honest with what we see in the mirror. We know we... But he went and did something about it.
Starting point is 00:08:16 And that's the next step. It was a permanent... Yeah. It was not like for the weekend. I'm done. It's not like I had too much to drink tonight. Yeah. No, it's like I'm never driving again in my life. Yeah. It was not like for the weekend. I'm done. It's not like I had too much to drink tonight. Yeah. No, it's like I'm never driving again in my life.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Yeah. That's a, whoo. This is real stuff, you guys. This is The Ramsey Show. If current times have shown us anything, it's that the least expected events can and will happen, and we have to deal with it. That's why everyone who has a family counting on them needs term life insurance. For over 20 years, the only company I've recommended is Zander Insurance. Not only because they search all of the top term life plans to find you the best rates, but over the years, they have constantly changed and updated their systems
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Starting point is 00:10:15 I have a new book coming out. Congratulations to me. I haven't done a book in eight years. A major trade book. Last one I did was Smart Men, Smart Kids with Rachel. I was in high school eight years ago, man. That's really, not really. I just lied to you. to you yeah you did i've told you a million times quite exaggerating congratulations man i'm excited for you thanks i am excited it's selling very very
Starting point is 00:10:35 well in pre-sale it's going to be a best seller of course and uh baby steps millionaires what i'm really excited about it is i think i really did what I set out to do, which is make the case that if you're listening to the sound of my voice right now, you can be a millionaire and I can show you how. And not that being a millionaire matters, but being able to pay for, oh, I don't know, move into assisted living and not have to sell the house because you're broke. Yeah. You know, that matters.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Yep. You know, that last call, right? That kind of thing. You've got choices when you've got some money. Or your spouse passes away and you can grieve and you can spend time. Well, and you can, you know, take all your grandkids and load them up and take them on a cruise. And you can buy a bunch of food for hungry people. And you can buy some shoes for people that don't have shoes and you could buy a single mama car and you can't
Starting point is 00:11:29 do that when you're broke i've noticed so um we want to show you how to be outrageously generous and be in a position to be outrageously generous and that's what baby steps millionaire is all about i'm really really excited about what this book is going to do it's again it's already sold a bazillion copies. I'm really thankful. Thank you to all of you. You guys make these things bestsellers for all of us that work here, and we really appreciate it. We appreciate the opportunity to serve you.
Starting point is 00:11:54 So Baby Steps Millionaires comes out next week. You can still get it on presale for $20. If you buy it before next week, like right now, in other words, you'll get the audio book and the e-book free, and The Legacy Journey, which is a little book I did on wealth, audio book and e-book for free. And Baby Steps Millionaires live stream, of course, is next Thursday. And the live stream is free, whether you buy the book or not. Ramsey Smart Tax, you'll get that as well.
Starting point is 00:12:20 And that means that you can do your income tax filing online for free. And 30 days of Ramsey Plus, access to Financial Peace University and every dollar for free, all for $20. It's not free. It's for $20. But you got the $20 book for $20. So the other stuff is thrown in. That makes it free. That's how it really works. So get all of that at RamseySolutions.com in the store.
Starting point is 00:12:42 It's pretty easy to do. RamseySolutions.com. Jump in there and make that part of it. Our question of the day comes from Blindolutions.com in the store. It's pretty easy to do. RamseySolutions.com Jump in there and make that part of it. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. They have a 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you mismeasure, you mess up. You pick the wrong color, they'll remake the blinds
Starting point is 00:12:56 for free. Who does that? A great American company like Blinds.com You get free samples, free shipping, the new promos they run every month you save even more use the promo code ramsey to get the best possible deal today's question comes from ellie in california ellie writes since moving in with my boyfriend of six years i've realized that his parents are extremely toxic just now realizing that six years of dating, you didn't have a clue?
Starting point is 00:13:26 Exactly. Several years ago, they lost their business and home due to money mismanagement and showed up on his doorstep asking for a place to stay. Over the years, he has consistently put their needs over his own by loaning money, allowing them to live with him for free, and having them work at his businesses. Since they started working for him,
Starting point is 00:13:43 he discovered that his mother was writing payroll checks to his father for work he never completed, ordering parts for their cars on his business account, and my boyfriend has been sued by a customer for $15,000 because of his father's mistakes. They will never take responsibility for any of this, and he
Starting point is 00:13:59 will not confront them. I really care about him, but something is telling me to run. Yeah, I agree. Run! Two other people are telling you to run. Go! Run! There's three of us now. You, Dave, me, everybody.
Starting point is 00:14:12 Run! Should I stay and continue to help him establish boundaries or run as fast as I can? Run as fast as you can. You can't solve that problem. Period. And it's... And let me help you with this, too. I'm going to be really mean, okay?
Starting point is 00:14:26 I'm just going to be really blunt. Shock alert. Okay. Shock alert. Yeah. But I want to warn you ahead of time before I do it, okay? So if after six years of dating him you didn't realize this, you do not have the relational tools to enter into this toxic disaster and be of any good.
Starting point is 00:14:44 Absolutely. That's not rude at all. You are naive. Yes yes and that's being kind blind intentionally so yes yeah denial is not a river in exactly yes oh my gosh um yeah run you you um yeah here's the thing this is a complicated relational psychological disaster that's going to require a long time and a lot of professional help to untwine, and you don't want to be there. This is the worst part of the for better, for worse thing. You don't want to be there. Because the problem is not his parents. The problem is his unwillingness to deal with it and your blindness, intentional blindness towards the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:15:35 Now we've got four people in this four-person story all misbehaving. Including you. What does this look like? Six years of relationship plus a home. Divorce. So you sit down and say. There's a high probability you don't make it. Like 90 something percent probability this doesn't make it.
Starting point is 00:15:53 So do you sit down and tell him, hey, here's the deal. You got. Or are you just out? I'm done. I just don't like you anymore. I mean, I'm gone. I don't like you anymore. I'm just.
Starting point is 00:16:03 I'm done. Whatever it is you have to say. I don't know how to break up. I haven't broken up in 40 years. I don't like you anymore. i don't like you anymore i'm just i'm done i don't whatever it is you have to say i don't know how to break up i haven't broken up in 40 years i don't like you anymore i don't like you anymore i'm done but i mean i would just say you know what i've come to realize looking at this that this thing is too big a mess for me to participate in and i'm scared and i've got to leave because i'm scared yeah which would actually be the truth if you're smart if you're smart enough to be scared it's the truth and i'm scared yeah which would actually be the truth if you're smart if you're smart enough to be scared it's the truth and i'm not that this is just grandpa advice sitting beside the psychologist okay um well whatever it is you are yeah i'm not one of those but the doctor
Starting point is 00:16:36 i'm not smart enough but i i will tell you dr dr deloney yes it's time to go time to go and my guess is you know this you You wouldn't have written it. She knows. She mapped it out. Here's the other way you can ask the question. I love this one. I heard somebody do this one time. It made a lot of sense to me.
Starting point is 00:16:58 If you had a daughter and she sat down at your knee and said, the guy I just moved in with. Fill in the blank. What would you tell your daughter? Yes. Run! Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Yeah, that's what you'd tell her. And never mistake this. Just because it hurts doesn't mean it's not the right thing. And just because you're going to miss him doesn't mean it's not the right thing. But it's time to go. There's some good parts of this where you wouldn't have hung around. Yep. Yep.
Starting point is 00:17:22 Time to go. But you didn't list any of those there's nothing else on the scale in this email except he's a business owner he's kind i mean he's probably got some great qualities he's yeah he's an enabler uh like world class apparently uh daniel is in atlanta hi Daniel. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Holy moly, I got you. You did? How are you, sir? We got you.
Starting point is 00:17:50 What's up? Be careful what you wish for. Ramsey III, I can't even believe it. Listen, I wanted to call and thank you. Three weeks ago, I stumbled on you. I'm watching some car blog, and some guy mentions Dave Ramsey. I said, oh, I've heard that name. So for the last three weeks, I've been binging your blog.
Starting point is 00:18:13 Oh, my gosh. And, man, I have just learned so much about and just listening to people's experiences and, you know, so many things I can relate to, a lot of things in your life, Dave. You and I are the exact same age. Oh, wow. Well, Daniel, we are honored, and I really appreciate all that. I am up against the clock, and I want to make sure I answer your question. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:18:35 I don't want to be rude. I'm 61. Nothing really. We got $25,000 to our name. We are 100% debt-free. Three weeks ago, I had $100,000 to our name. We are 100% debt-free. Three weeks ago, I had $100,000 in the bank. I took it. I paid off the mortgage.
Starting point is 00:18:50 We owe nothing to no one, okay? What's your household income? We've got about... I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. What's your household income? Let's call it $100,000. Okay, so how fast are you going to build your retirement now that you don't have a payment in the world?
Starting point is 00:19:05 Well, I want to build it quickly, and that's why I'm calling. If you had some, other than reaching out to the Ramsey people, which I did. I did exactly, spoke to five different ones. I wanted to get some specific recommendations for funds from you. If it's in your book, I'll wait. I ordered two of your books for my boys. I appreciate it. I don't do specific fund recommendations because that's the equivalent of an endorsement of a particular fund. Instead, we teach you the concepts and we let you go use those concepts to do your investing. Daniel, we're so honored to have you in the audience now. So
Starting point is 00:19:40 great. Get in touch with the SmartVestor Pro. Sit down. You are on the right track. You're going to be amazing. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personalities, my co-host today. Joining us for a debt-free scream is Seth from Cheyenne, Wyoming. Hey, Seth, how are you doing well thanks david casper actually oh i'm so sorry i'll work on my spelling here okay good so uh how much debt have you paid off 165 000 very good and how long did that take you? It took seven years from the time I started paying it off. It was a long road, and it took us a long time. I know your average is probably a lot shorter than that, but cancer kind of got in the way, but we still did it.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Oh, man. Whoa. Okay. What was your range of income during that seven years? Anywhere from 75 up to 100. Okay. So tell me about cancer getting in the way. Well, as you know, medical bills are expensive,
Starting point is 00:21:19 and cancer took my life. Oh, my goodness. Oh, man. I'm so sorry. Seth, when did she pass away? That was about six months ago. What was her name? Sierra.
Starting point is 00:21:31 Sierra. Beautiful. Wow. Yeah. So, you know, she was my rock, you know? Yeah. And stuff got expensive, and we were trying to make her student loan. It was all student loans, by the way.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Yeah. And when it got tough, I was like, you know, we don't have to make that payment this month. We could do a reduced payment. She was, no, we're making the whole thing. So she kept us going and and uh and about a month after she passed i got it paid off and and she'd be happy that we're here doing this wow i've seen a picture of here on youtube what a beautiful beautiful family yeah how old was thank you 35 oh my gosh i'm so sorry yeah you uh uh getting out of debt is way down the list of things to do when you were fighting cancer um yeah and and so i agree with you on that and um so if you uh if you have to put things on hold or delay things or slow things or whatever during that kind of a battle, that's what you should do.
Starting point is 00:22:52 You should take care of your family before you worry about this other stuff. We want you to get out of debt because it's good for your family, but my goodness gracious, wow. Yeah. But you also had a wife a wife who was like you said you're rock and man i've been around a few folks who's fighting cancer and they the fighter comes out like we're finishing this journey we started right it sounds like who she was oh yeah man she just uh she wouldn't let me quit and you know we stayed on it and you know and i should say you know dave you changed our lives you know um we got on we you know we got life insurance and that's
Starting point is 00:23:33 really how we paid off the last 17 000 of 165 is i had a life insurance policy and it took the burden off after she was gone and and i'm glad we did that because you know i i guess it's part of her legacy that you know now that um she's gone you know we we did that now i can share that with my kids and and they're um they know they weren't forgotten. It's part of the story. It's part of your story, and it's a beautifully sad story. Well said. Wow, absolutely amazing. Absolutely amazing.
Starting point is 00:24:18 So how old are your kiddos? I have a 13-year-old and a 9-year-old. So what got you and her on this journey, you and Sierra on this journey seven years ago? Well, it was after I graduated from school. I'm an optometrist, and I got out of optometry school, then I did a residency. During that residency, I deferred my loans for a year and I watched it I watched it go from 155,000 to 165,000 because I wasn't making payments I'm like what you got to be kidding me that's what interest does to you these were your
Starting point is 00:25:00 student loans yes they were all mine yeah that she's fighting to pay off oh my gosh yeah and so we um i watched that happen and and then of course dave you're on the radio as as i'm driving home from work every day and you know what eventually it just becomes contagious and it's like let's get this done and then she was definitely more of the gazelle intense as you put it than i was but i brought it up and she ran with it wow well way to go man way to go thank you so have uh the kids got a clear understanding they're old enough of uh how this debt-free thing weaves into the story with their mom? Yeah, I think so.
Starting point is 00:25:49 Okay. You know, they're going to know it by the time they leave the house. Well, it's their legacy. It's part of her story now that's woven into them, and it's something she cared about, and it's part of the memory and part of the legacy and the whole thing. So it's really, really important that the family tree has changed here in the midst of this tragedy. And, uh, so, wow.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Absolutely amazing. Amazing. So what are their names? Uh, Porter's my 13 year old and Lilia is my nine year old all right very cool very cool i i just want to just man seth what a what an incredible way to honor your wife by finishing the journey you know i mean when you get married you set out on a journey together and it ends and and we all know it ends for us all of us but it ends it play in times and ways and places we'll never expect and brother you kept going and you finished the journey how what a we
Starting point is 00:26:53 talk about her legacy what a legacy you've left for me for the all the listeners for your kids good for you for honoring your wife in that way and putting a period at the end of that sentence for your whole family that's just brilliant a period at the end of that sentence for your whole family. That's just brilliant, man. Thank you. It's awesome. Pretty incredible. All right. It's Seth and Sierra, Porter and Lilia, all from Casper, Wyoming. $165,000 paid off in seven years, making $75,000 to $100,000. Count it down. let's hear a debt-free scream three two one amazing well we've got a copy of baby Steps Millionaires that we'll send you, and that's the next chapter in this story. There's a future in this story, just like there's a past in this story,
Starting point is 00:27:54 and we want to be part of that bright future as well. So also going to send you a copy of Total Money Makeover so you can give that to someone in the process, and pretty pretty pretty incredible oh she was young too young way too young man way too young you just here for a vapor ah yeah that tombstone thing man when you look at those two dates on a tombstone you got the beginning yep you got the end yeah but when you go to heaven when you graduate and the question the old motivational speaker always asks is yeah when you go to heaven when you graduate and the question the
Starting point is 00:28:26 old motivational speaker always asks is what are you going to do with that dash huh i never heard that before what are you going to do with that dash and uh i was speaking at a funeral for a friend of mine that passed a little while back and uh me and uh mansfield steve mansfield were both speaking at this guy we're good friends of both of them and mansfield, Steve Mansfield, were both speaking at this guy. We were good friends of both of them. And Mansfield said something I'll never forget. He said, a funeral is a tuning fork. Just like a birth is a tuning fork for your life.
Starting point is 00:28:54 When you go to a funeral, you know, when you leave the funeral, or even a wedding, too, you go home and you go, I need to readjust. Yeah. I had a buddy. I need to readjust.
Starting point is 00:29:02 I need to readjust. That call helps me remind, I need to readjust. I need to make a buddy pass away this past week. That call helps me remind. Yeah. I need to readjust. I need to make sure I'm in. And you people listening, you need to freaking readjust. Absolutely. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:12 You listen to those guys. That's about as motivational a call as I've had in a long time. Yeah. I had a buddy pass away this last week named Chris. And the number of people who came back to be with him and to be at that funeral. I love the idea of a funeral being a way to just say, just like a birthday says I love you when you're here, a funeral is a way to say I love you when you're gone. Yep. And it's a beautiful testimony.
Starting point is 00:29:34 Good job, Seth. What a stud, man. Man, amazing. This is the Ramsey Show. Wow. Our Scripture of the day, Psalm 113.3, from the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised. Jim Rhodes said, either you run the day or the day runs you. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today as we talk about your life and your money. Kim is in Boise, Idaho.
Starting point is 00:30:28 Hi, Kim. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? I have a term life insurance question. I have a highly disabled daughter who will require care her whole life, and I guess we're just wondering if you would approach life insurance differently in that situation where we'll have to be. I mean, technically the government might provide care for her at some point,
Starting point is 00:30:57 but we also may be needing to pay for help with her for the rest of her life. I mean, the house should be paid off, but I guess in typical situations, you don't have to pay for that. So if one of us were to die, we would have to hire care for her forever. So, yeah, what's your advice in that scenario? It doesn't change.
Starting point is 00:31:20 It just takes a highlighter marker and puts on our advice. It makes it very, very super important, as if it's not already important. So let me kind of walk you through without special needs, and then let's come back to your special needs, okay? So our normal advice is 15 to 20 years worth of level term insurance. During that 15 to 20 years, you would have paid off your home because we tell you not to have more than a 15-year mortgage. You will have gotten out of debt and began investing 15% of your household income into retirement. During that 15 to 20 years, you're probably going to end up with $700,000, $800,000 in mutual funds, a paid-for house. And during that 15 to 20 years, your kids would grow up and leave.
Starting point is 00:32:00 The last part's what's different, right? Right. So you still have to get the rest of that going though you still work we've done all that you still work you if you're if you're funding retirement you know you keep life insurance and you keep life insurance in place until you have enough money instead of life insurance to leave in trust for her to be taken care of so how much is in your retirement account um retirement i i think we have around 500 or 700 000 um that'd be a number you need to know closer than that i know i didn't ask i didn't look it up before i called but i mean you just
Starting point is 00:32:44 need to know you need to know that number. You don't have to know it to the penny, but $500 to $700 is a pretty big spread. So how old are you guys? 37. Okay. So let's just run a normal scenario, okay? If you run a normal scenario and you guys keep investing in retirement and you get your house paid off and both of you die in your 60s which is really our question here okay let's take a 15-year policy that puts you to uh 52 right that puts you to 52 okay at 52 you're going to have a million two
Starting point is 00:33:23 in mutual funds a million four in mutual funds in your retirement and you should be having close to a paid for house by then if not having paid for agreed correct yeah okay now if you pass away at 52 which would mean you would die very very early both of you died early okay if you leave your retirement account and the house is sold and you leave that into a trust to be taken care of for your child the trustee has close to two million dollars that the income off of the two million dollars will easily take care of your child with no life insurance okay so it does not change our life your child with no life insurance. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:08 So it does not change our life insurance advice because the life insurance advice is to keep term insurance in place until you're debt-free and you have enough assets in place to take care of the people left behind. Typically, that's a spouse we're referring to because the kids are grown and gone, or they're little kids, one of the two. But in your case, you've got this perpetual need beyond the two of you passing to take care of the special needs.
Starting point is 00:34:29 So it's called a special needs trust, and it's a part of your will, and it's formed upon the second person to die, and all of your assets are poured into that trust with direct and detailed instructions to the trustee of how you want them invested and how they're how and under what circumstances they're to be paid out beyond the income and to who they're to be paid out to and so forth how the child's to be cared for right but i mean a couple hundred thousand dollars a year will take care of this kid and that's what you're going to have at 52.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Okay. So your need for life insurance to supplement that goes away as your wealth increases and your debt decreases. Do you see how I'm doing that? Yeah. What's the nature of the special need? Cerebral palsy. Okay. Cool.
Starting point is 00:35:23 All right. And how old how boy or girl a girl how old is she now eight okay cool i've got a niece uh cp it's a beautiful beautiful person that's 30 in a wheelchair and so my brother and sister-in-law are facing the exact same kinds of things. She just has gone out and is living on her own for the first time. They didn't think she'd do that, be able to do that. So it's a wonderful victory story.
Starting point is 00:35:52 We're proud of her. And proud of them for letting her. It's hard. It's hard to do. But, yeah, it's a process. And how severe is her CP? Very. She will be dependent forever.
Starting point is 00:36:10 No, I know that. I understood that part. I'm just saying, is she wheelchair? She's nonverbal. Yeah, she's nonverbal and nonmobile. Okay. All right. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:23 Well, you guys have got a real battle on your hands, and you're very brave people. Congratulations. And God gives a special measure of strength to people he gives these assignments to. Yeah. So you're beautiful. We appreciate you, and we appreciate you calling in and who you are. And anytime we can help you, we will. But get a will done with a special needs trust. Pour your assets into that.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Until you have assets, you pour the term life insurance into that, and that'll take care of your baby. And you give very clear, specific instructions as to how it's to be invested and how the proceeds off of the investments are to be used for the care. It's very detailed. And for the rest of you, by the way, that have children that you're not facing that with, you can do the same thing for minor children. And when my children were minors, John john that's how our will was set up upon our death there's a children's trust not today because our children are grown but uh
Starting point is 00:37:14 when they were minors and then not only who the guardian is going to be but a different person is the trustee and and i want you in my case i said i want you to invest in the four types of mutual funds we talk about growth growth and growth, and income, aggressive growth. And the income is pulled off. And, again, we're talking about minor children that do not have a special need. Then we just said, okay, you can pull the money off in addition to the income that's used to take care of the kids. If there needs to be some other withdrawals, it could be for buying a first car within reason. It could be for paying for college.
Starting point is 00:37:44 It could be for major medical that pops up. But otherwise, you keep your hands off of it, and you let it grow, and you let the nest egg produce the income, lay the golden eggs that takes care of the babies. And that's how it's set up. And you can fund that with life insurance until you have enough money in your retirement to cause it to pour over into that. And it's your secondary beneficiary on your retirement. Your beneficiary is your spouse but if both of you are gone is what we're talking about your secondary beneficiary is named that family trust so in this new year get a will absolutely get a will and get yours updated too by the way i talked to a guy the other day had gone through a divorce and didn't ever update his will so his ex-wife still the chief beneficiary of all of his assets you want to hear a fun court
Starting point is 00:38:31 case is trying to pry that one away from your kids because you can't try to pry that away from her to give to your kids oh you won't and she's the ex she won't and they're her kids it's incredible what i deserve Get a will. And change your beneficiaries when you go through a divorce. My God. Get stuff updated. Man, you just got to do business like you're freaking adults or something. Don't outsource your life.
Starting point is 00:38:55 Plug back in. Get it done. Get a will. Outsource your life is a thing with you today, and I like it. It's driving me crazy. It's a good phrase. 2022. It's a good phrase. Don't outsource your life.
Starting point is 00:39:05 Don't let someone else live your life for you. It's the Game Boy generation. The Nintendo generation. The Nintendo generation. Yeah. Instead of really doing it, we do it on TV. Yeah. Or we watch someone else do it on TV.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Yeah. Gross. Just gross. Just gross. Oh, man. All right. That's good. Get a will.
Starting point is 00:39:24 End that right there. Yeah's good. Get a will. End that right there. Yeah. Wow. What a show. Dr. John Deloney, James Childs, and Jenna on the phones. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's
Starting point is 00:39:38 to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. This is James Childs, a producer of The Ramsey Show. You can listen to all our shows with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone. Browse by topic or even send clips to your friends. Download the Ramsey Network app in your favorite app store today.

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