The Ramsey Show - App - How Do We Rekindle Our Relationship After Having Our First Kid? (Hour 3)

Episode Date: October 27, 2020

Savings, Education, Relationships, Debt Say goodbye to debt forever. Click here to sign up for a FREE trial of Ramsey+. Here are some tools to get you started with Ramsey: Use our Debt Calculator to find out exactly when you'll be debt-free. Get the Insurance Coverage you need to protect your family, your savings, your income, and your identity. Budgeting does not have to be hard. We've made it simple with our Complete Guide to Budgeting.     If you like what you hear on The Dave Ramsey Show podcast, check out our other Ramsey Network podcasts.

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I am Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney. Ramsey Personality is my co-host today here on the air. Open phones as we talk about your life and your money the phone number is 888-825-5225 that's 888-825-5225 katherine is in indianapolis hi katherine welcome to the dave ramsey show hi guys thanks for taking

my call sure what's up in your world i had world thanks i had a question for you guys so my husband and i we just welcomed our first child two weeks ago congratulations thank you we're really excited about it so we're uh starting to plan ahead for his future we're currently working through the baby steps on four five and six good so we've considered setting up a 529 plan, but we've also talked through, do we consider a money market, mutual funds, savings account? We don't want it to just sit somewhere for 18 years and earn no interest, but we also don't know that we want to lock it into just being able to be used for college. So our question is, how do we decide between a 529 plan and all the other options, or a little bit of both, a couple of them?

And then also, how do we determine how much to contribute? To start with, you're limited on most 529s to $10,000, and that's not making a decision. You're not saying, oh, we're stuck if they don't go to college. I mean, $10,000 is not going to kill you. Okay, if you put $100,000 in there and you don't do anything else, then maybe you're making a decision higher education is an absolute. Now, the 529 is not actually an investment. It is actually how the real investment is treated for tax purposes. So just like an IRA is not an investment, you can put a bank account inside of a savings

account inside of an IRA, a money market inside of an IRA, or a mutual fund inside of an IRA. So you choose the type of investment that goes in there. So what you want is a 529 in good growth stock mutual funds. But the only difference is you could buy the mutual funds in the kid's name, is you can buy the mutual funds in the kid's name or you can buy the mutual funds in the kid's name in a 529. The only difference is they grow in the 529 100% tax-free. So when that $10,000 turns into $40,000, that extra $30,000 that it made by the time the kid gets to college,

which is about what it'll do, is not taxable. So you're saving on that scenario, on that one investment, you're saving $10,000 worth of taxes by putting it in a 529. So I would do the 529. You don't have to fully fund it, but whatever you want to put in there, I'd get one started. Sit down with one of our SmartVestor pros. Click SmartVestor at DaveRamsey.com. They'll show you how to do it. But what you're doing is you are selecting a 529 plan with one of the states,

their state plans, that allows you to invest in mutual funds, and you pick the mutual funds, and they don't move unless you move them. That's the kind of 529 you're looking for. Some of them automatically move the funds around as the kid gets older. Some of them lock it in and it never can be moved. You don't want any of those. You want basically a mutual fund investment wrapped in the coat of a 529 for tax-free growth.

Does that make sense to you? I think so. So you're saying really stick with the 529 and get the mutual funds within it, but focus on that. Don't focus on any other. Yeah, I would not do anything else. This far out. Not this stage.

Now, if you look up and you got $150,000 in there someday and you go, okay, I don't really want to put more than that in there until I get a track on the direction this kid's going to go. I'm just going to save some money in the kid's name for them to do other stuff with. That's called an utma uniform transfer to minors act utma which all that means is is that people who are not 18 years old are not allowed to do contracts in america so you can't open a mutual fund you can't open a bank

account you can't open a checking account your mom and dad or somebody else that's an adult has to open it in your name and they are the custodian. And so you're in charge of it until they're 18 or 21, depending on your state. And so that's how, for instance, back when my kids were saving for our kids to go to college, there was no 529s. There was no ESAs. So we just opened up mutual funds in our kids names and I was the custodian and if they were doing cocaine uh they would have had a hard time finding the money even though it was technically theirs I would steal it okay because I'm that kind of dad I'm that kind of dad yeah so I'm the

dinosaur dad so um yeah that that's the thing and so then you get to do that. So, John, with our audience maybe just joining us for the first time or first time when you've been on the air with me with a Ph.D. in higher ed and you spent many, many years in higher ed. And this year has been the perfect storm for higher ed. You know, to start with, we had the wake-up call of the epic student loan crisis, which was kind of pointing out that some portions of higher ed are overcharging a wee bit. Right. And no kidding. And then now with this, they send kids home and are still trying to charge them the same amount, and they're just doing it on their computer.

And everybody's going, I can take computer classes a lot cheaper than you're charging me. Higher ed's got a bit of a crisis going on. And basically what it's done, though, is it's kind of shaken up and made people go, well, maybe I'm not saving for college like I would have. I don't want to trap this money because a kid might not go to college. As colleges, we know it might not be the same. That's right.

And so we're going to see a difference in the savings patterns, I think, because of this. That's the most common question I get is the fear of locking up money for 18 years and the assumption that the government is not going to change their mind over 18 years, that that money will even still be there in 18 years. And more importantly, will college as we know it, will it still exist in the way that we've come to know it in 18 years, right? And especially at its current inflation rate, it's going to cost $850,000, right? Will we even have enough? And so we all know that in 18 years, colleges are going to look different. And so, yeah, that's the most common question I get.

Should I lock this money up or not? Yeah. And I think most people don't. It's hard to have that money sitting in just your checking account, right, and not spend it. Yeah. Well, you do need to lock it up. Right. And you do need to put it in tax-free

growth the worst case scenario is higher ed completely turns on its head or your kid just says and you say i'm this kid's not going to college uh and you pull the money out you're just going to be taxed just as though it was in a regular mutual fund right yeah and you're gonna you're gonna have a penalty on it but you're're not going to lose all your money. Right. It's not like if you don't go, you know, the account evaporates. And isn't it correct that that money can be used for any sort of educational endeavor, right? Yeah, technically, yeah. So if they want to go to tech school, want to be a diesel mechanic, yeah, that works. And it actually can be used for private school for your kid in high school.

Ah, okay. That kind of thing, too. Okay. And your siblings can use it. Matter, okay. That kind of thing, too. And your siblings can use it. Matter of fact, any family member can use it. Mom could go back and get a PhD using your 529. Right. So it's not going to get stuck.

Okay. You're going to be okay. And you do need to let it grow tax-free. And you do need to park it in such a way that you keep your own grimy hands off of it, because we all have these temptations. Right. Good question. Open phones at 888-825-5225. You jump in.

Dave, I've heard you say kids don't get a vote. Is this true at any age? We're looking into moving our family into a different continent in Africa for a volunteer, and our teenagers are not on board. How do we approach this? Ooh, I'm going to come back to that one after the break, because we're about 10 seconds out. That's a big one.

Yeah. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. folks i love telling you about well-made well-thought-out products today i'm talking about grip six belts i don't know about you but I'm not a fan of traditional belts. They never fit right, and they're uncomfortable. Grip6 belts are unique. Owner BJ designed a truly modern, minimalist belt made of high-quality materials with no holes, no flap, and no bulk. And the buckles come in really cool designs and are interchangeable. I personally own these belts in different styles.

And talk about affordability, Grip 6 belts come with a lifetime guarantee. And that means if you no longer like or fit the style of your belt, you can replace them for free. Plus, I like the way these guys do business. Grip 6 is determined to help build and modernize american manufacturing to learn more and get this month's dave ramsey special visit grip six dot com that's grip six dot com Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Kevin is on Instagram and says, I've heard you say before kids don't get a vote, is this true at any age? We're looking into moving our family to a different continent,

a small village in Africa, for a year of volunteer and mission work, and our teenagers are not on board. How do we approach this? Well, first I need to answer the question a little more carefully. Our portion of this set it up. Kids don't get a vote. What that means is the parents are in charge. Right.

It doesn't mean that I don't admit that my children have desires and feelings about things, in some cases that are valid, and I take those into consideration, but I make a decision that is best for the overall family and for that child. I meet too many people where their children are in charge of their house, and the inmates are running the freaking asylum asylum and so that's what that the kids don't get a vote comes from it doesn't mean we don't take their feelings or their desires or their best interest into consideration in any major decision we we got to talk to them right and they're worth the conversation i before we get to the answer to extrapolate on what you said to continue, understand that when you put your kids in charge, when they get to make decisions, that taxes them. That destroys a child. They don't have the wisdom or the strength to carry your family. Right?

That's harmful to a kid. And not only is it not helpful, it's harmful to a kid. To expect them to be the kid that decides, are we going to church? What building are we going to? Where are we eating? Where are we going to live? What neighborhood? A going to? Where are we eating? Where are we going to live? What neighborhood? A kid can't – it doesn't have the infrastructure.

We used to come out of church, and back after we finally got a little bit of money and could go out to eat, we would say, where do you all want to go out to eat? And it would proceed that four of them, my wife and my three kids, would argue for the next few minutes until I would just decide because, you know, you're right. It just didn't work. Dadgum inmates running the asylum and so i'd look at sharon and go okay me and you're about to decide this because i'm tired of them in the back seat those people in the back seat didn't gain brains right so we're going to just decide and that's the joke but the the you know the truth is that i think you and i would take these teenagers feelings into

consideration it doesn't mean i won't do it right uh but and they don't get a vote per se and they're never you can't expect a teenager to understand what living in africa for years is going to be is going to do to their hearts and minds i can't understand it because i've never done it that's right and so no no teenager is going to be on board with hey we're going to leave everything you know go to another country away from your friends your family your community your church all that we're going to be on board with, hey, we're going to leave everything you know, go to another country away from your friends, your family, your community, your church, all of that, and we're going to start over completely for a year. Your Instagram is going to get totally screwed up. Everything's going to be messed up, right?

So go into it with a different mindset, but no, they don't. If you and your wife think that's the best interest for your family, for long-term. So you take them dragging, kicking, and screaming? I would think there is something wrong with my teenager if they're not kicking and screaming i would i would think there was something wrong with my teenager if they're not kicking and screaming okay because they don't know any different yeah right they don't know it unless they just you've you've trained them to have a robust sense of adventure right now if you're living out some fantasy and this is against the best interest of your kids we're all gonna i'm gonna sell the and we're going to move to Tennessee to pursue my songwriting career.

We're all going to live in a one bedroom apartment because I'm not going to have any money. And the kids say, that's a bad idea. Right. They're being more adult than you are. That's exactly right. Right, right. But I wouldn't expect a teenager to be fully invested because they wouldn't understand. They don't have the wisdom to look down the road.

They don't have the wisdom to understand that my innate discomfort is not going to pay off in massive ways down the road. Yeah, I agree. I'm trying to think about when our kids were there, if we had wanted to do something like that, what would have happened? They would have objected. no question about it but i also would like to think we never did it so i really don't have a test case but i would like to think that some other times that i had challenged them on something and said you know you didn't want to do this but we did it because i thought it was a good idea it worked out then um you know maybe i'd made some deposits there you go in earlier before i get to this decision so if only

deposits you've made if all you've done is make withdrawals up to this point and dad's constantly going on an adventure and it's constantly putting everybody in peril and the kids are tired of the emotional upheaval for dad chasing this weird adventure thing he's got uh then yeah you know i would give them that you know i'd give their voice much more credence but if all you've ever done is make sure that they're okay and other times you've stretched them and it turned out good to their benefit and they smiled but they didn't think when you went on that vacation it was going to work out and and now this is another one, then you've earned the right to force their hand. Those relational deposits, right?

And my hope would be that this isn't one of those things that someone was driving home from work and they thought, I hate my job. It's time for me to do something drastic. My hope is when you're going to make a transition like this, you've taken your family there before for a week or two. You have shown them videos and pictures, and you've met families from there and you have it's a part of the fabric of your life right exactly one of the best things we did with our teens was send them on missions trips but they were a week long right you know or whatever and or they went you know sharon went on several of the trips with them uh because they get out of

the prosperity bubble right and real-world poverty. That's right. And see people that are happy in spite of living in a cardboard box. And so it redefines happiness. It's not based on stuff or electronics or screen time. It's reset and bust the bubble. Right. You know, and so it was very valuable in that regard.

This would be a bigger version of that. Right. These kids could come home changed. Transformed forever. Right. You know, and so it was very valuable in that regard. This would be a bigger version of that. Right. These kids could come home changed, transformed forever. Right. And that's where I say, again, a teenager can only feel in right now. They're not fully developed. That's why we don't give them car keys. That's why we some of that because they live in the right now, in the what is going to keep me comfortable and keep me engaged in my community right now. And they wouldn't have the wisdom to see beyond that. But I love what you said, man. There's got to be some relational deposits along the way. So if you're going to make life transitions that I don't feel guilty about forcing it, if I'm not being irresponsible, absolutely not. and if i have made deposits that's right if after that they're throwing a little hissy fit then they'll just have to do it and i would expect them to their kids i know but i mean i'm just saying that that's part of the equation but i'm okay i'm not going to be going oh i've ruined my child's life because

they actually are going to say you've ruined my life that's actually a phrase they want i hate you you're killing me you're ruining everything i. I loved that boy. Right? All the stuff. My Instagram's going to go dormant. That's right. I'm going to lose all my followers. Yes. All the super tragic stuff, right? Yeah, it's all over from when that happens. Your ability to do a reality show later is going down the tubes.

And so... Darn. That's awful. I hate it that that happened. Rebecca is in Salt Lake City. Hi, Rebecca. Welcome to Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave.

Hi, John. Thanks for taking my call this afternoon. Sure. What's up? So my husband and I just got started on your whole process. We're on Baby Step 2. Cool. And before we were introduced to you, we bought a car on a lease.

And so we're trying to, we want to pay it off, but I'm not sure if there's any penalties or fees associated with paying it off early. I've talked to Nissan, and they've said that there aren't any fees or penalties. There aren't. As a matter of fact, you will save money for doing. A Nissan lease can be paid off early it's like paying a regular car loan off early you save the interest for the years that you don't have it and uh in a lease there's not technically interest uh although you know that

they obviously um charge a a cost of funds is what's built into it that equates in most cases to about 14 percent so it's not a really good deal as you found out so you call and get the early buyout figure from nissan did they give that to you yes they did okay what is that um it's 23 818 dollars and 23 cents It's $23,818.23. Okay. And what is your lease payment? Our lease payment is $339.69 a month. And how many months are left on the fleece? 24. Okay.

So if you multiply 339 times 24 plus what you were under contract. You can pull your contract out and look at it. What you can buy the car for at the end of the fleece, you will find that is $5,000 less or more than $23,000. It's going to be about $26,000 to $28,000. So I'm going to guess and say when you do the math that by paying it off early, and you can only do it in one lump sum, they won't take extra payments, but by paying it off early, you're going to save $3,000 to $5,000. That's my guess.

This is The Dave your future goals, and a lot of you know that have been following our Ramsey stuff for several years that we teach Grandma's old envelope system. So for some of your expenditures, you set aside money for groceries, and you have an envelope that says groceries on it, or eating out, and you have an envelope that says eating out on it, and you don't spend more than is in that envelope, and that will get you going. The envelope system works beautifully. Years ago, we created an envelope system and started selling it, and Rachel Cruz, in classic Rachel Cruz style, decided that it needed to be upgraded for her name.

Of course. And so I would give her a hard time about this multiple times, and she's good-natured about it. So she created, several years ago, an upscale wallet a very nice rachel cruz wallet and um the uh place we bought them from put cheap zippers on them and the zippers kept breaking and we would see it on instagram my zipper broke and then they would send it in here and people were nice about it but way too many i mean because there's nothing worse than a broken zipper right i'm just saying and so oh my gosh and you know and you paid good money i mean this wasn't a cheap item it was an you know forty dollars or something the stupid zipper broke and man it got to the point that i'm getting as the owner of the organization with a broken zipper

i'm not happy with this and so uh we don't we don't do this kind of stuff around here so we ended up working with the vendor and they would not fix it so we basically refunded everybody and threw the stupid things in a dumpster and so that then they brought it in about 18 months ago and they said we want to revive the rachel cruz wallet i said oh the one with the broken zipper you want to do this again do you what are you people crazy so we had these discussions in our product teams and uh they found a way to source the things in india where the people actually making the and these are full leather wallets now the rachel cruz wallet is real leather so it's got the smell to it and the people making them are someone that's come out of a difficult situation off the street or out of trafficking or out of poverty or something. And actually, in each of the new Rachel Cruz wallets,

which has the envelope system built into it, is the name and the picture signed by the person who made it. That's cool. And so you're doing good when you buy it. And I can tell you this. This has the best zipper in the entire world. There is not a wallet, not a purse, anywhere in the entire world that has a better zipper. Because there may be something else break on this dadgum thing, but it's not going to be the zipper.

So, you know, this is a pain you go through when you run a stupid business, right? So, anyway, this thing is fabulous now. They've redone it, and it's even got a little leash on it so it doesn't get lost. Right, the little hand. They call it a wristlet. A wristlet, yeah. But it looks to me like a wallet leash, so that's what I'm calling it. And that's such a dad joke, but yeah.

No, I love it. Well, and here's the thing. If you are a guy and you are listening to this and you are thinking, Christmas is coming up. Hey. Listen. Let me tell you, if you have a Rachel Cruz fan in your family, you want to buy this for them. Even if, no, you're, they don't know who Rachel is.

When I heard them announce it, and they showed it, the collective, hundreds of women in the building. We have a thousand people on our team in a staff meeting, there was a gasp. It was a, and I thought to myself, I should probably get one of those. This thing's going to sell. And since my wife doesn't listen to this show i may just get one for christmas and she won't even know it's coming it's legit it's the real deal there you go there you go that's how that works all right so there you go go to davramsey.com uh we did not get i mean getting the shipments from anywhere in the world right now is difficult if you haven't heard the supply

chain screwed up there's a little pandemic thing going on so we've gotten a bunch in but we're not going to have enough to make it all the way through christmas so if you want one the new rachel cruz wallet dave ramsey.com hit the store or call ramsey concierge before they're out uh they've got the uh the classic brown leather look and i think the other one is black if i remember right and so they are i think they're like 60 something dollars or whatever but really i mean if you compare this apparently to other women's wallets that are 150 or something i wouldn't i don't have any idea my money's in my front pocket folded over that's it so but uh what do i know about this stuff i'm just a redneck but um but i do know the zipper won't break it It will not break. I'll give you my personal guarantee on that.

I love it. Brittany is with us. Brittany's in Manchester, New Hampshire. Hi, Brittany. How are you? Hi, good. How are you? Thanks for taking my call.

Sure. What's up? So I have watched both you and Dr. D's YouTube channel. And my husband and I just had, well, not just, we have a seven-month-old baby. And we're budgeting and doing all the baby stuff. And we were having a hard time, I guess, being a couple aside from, like, parenting and money. So I was wondering how you recommend, not separating the two because there's there really is no separation but just we're kind of like roommates I guess so that's how you explain it

ah so is this your first kid yes excellent so here I'm going to give you a story and then I'll I'll tell you what I would recommend you do I remember sitting by a guy in grad school and I'd been married for a year or two I I was a terrible new husband. I didn't know what I was doing. And I was looking at him and he had been married for a while and he had three or four kids. And I said, I don't know how that's humanly possible. And he gave me a line that has stuck with me for 15, 16 years now. He said, remember when you were single and it was kind of awesome? I said, yep. And he said, now you're married.

It's a different kind of awesome. And then he said, I've got four kids. I don't sleep. I don't have much money in my account. But it's awesome. It's a different kind of awesome. And that phrase, as cheesy and lame as it is, a different kind of awesome stuck with me.

And so here's what i've i noticed couples try to do is they try to drag their dating life through their first couple years of marriage they have a kid which is super disruptive right in all the good ways in bad ways in your seven months by the way if you're not feeling like you will never sleep again if you are not everything doesn't make sense right now i want you to know you're exactly where you're supposed to be. You actually did string your sentences together. I'm impressed. That is super impressive.

Whatever meds you're taking, keep taking them because they're working good. But they try to. He's actually a really good sleeper. That's awesome. So they try to drag their marriage before kid into their new world. And what I want you to do, I heard um this analogy given to the folks who were coming back from any sort of marital difficulties any sort of major changes major moves and here here it is they could never take all the dust and glass and metal and steel that was the twin towers and

collect it all back and rebuild those things after they fell it's different now right and this is And this is a beautiful thing, not coming after an affair or something like that, but they have to excavate everything and rebuild something stronger and beautiful and with sentiment and with meaning. And so what you guys have to do is be intentional about building a new thing. And it's already got a great platform. You already love each other. You're committed to each other. So you don't have to start from scratch.

But you have to re-envision what this is going to look like. And it's going to take more intentionality. More, hey, we have to put some stuff on the calendars that used to come naturally to us. We used to be able to just run out and go have fun and run to Taco Bell. Now we have to plan the Taco Bell run for every other

Saturday and and. Fill in the blank, right? How do you deal with the anxiety of leaving your baby with someone else? You've got to practice. How do you what? How do you get over the anxiety of leaving your baby with somebody else? Yeah. You've got to practice. Yeah.

You've got to practice. And we're in the middle of a pandemic, and you've got a seven-month-old. Cut yourself some slack. This is a weird one. You picked a weird moment in history to have a baby, right? Congratulations. But you've got to practice give yourself some time so you know the way i delegate anything in my life including people things here in the business including things like a babysitter um is i do not delegate to someone particularly the care of my new baby if it's especially my first one because

i'm scared about this i'm anxious about this is I delegate when I can trust someone's competence and their integrity. And so I'm not leaving a brand-new baby when I leave for the first time with a 13-year-old. Or someone you found on an app. Or somebody that you found on Craigslist. So our thing is, like, my mom will do it, and we all have to trust her. You can trust her competency and her integrity because you're alive.

Don't beat yourself up over anxiety. It's normal, right? And here's the thing. You don't have to go out for five days the first time. You've got to go out for an hour. Right. Yeah. And you're going to realize everything's fine and good.

And then when you come back, your mother's going to be happy and the baby's going to be happy and you're going to want to go out for another hour. So just take a little short run with somebody you trust. A little bit longer run. And, you know, by the time our youngest came along, the oldest was watching them. We were anything to get out of the house. We're out here. That's right.

Just don't kill them while we're gone. You know, you get a little. We're out of here. That's right. Just don't kill them while we're gone. You get a little less anxious as you go along. That's right. You find out they're not as breakable as you feel like they are, too. They're hard to break. They really are hard to break. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. For which of you desiring to build a tower does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Jesus' words in Luke 14, 28, our scripture of the day.

Tony Robbins said, setting goals is the first step to turning the invisible into the visible. Very true. Abby is with us in Flint, Michigan. Hi, Abby. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank you for taking my call. My honor.

How can we help? So I am wondering which baby step I'm on, and I'm wondering whether I'm baby step two or four. So a little bit of background. I am in college right now now and I'm in my first year of community college and I have enough saved for my second year plus a couple extra thousand. Good for you. Well done. Thank you. So I don't think that I want to get the entire four-year degree. I think that I'm just wanting to get my associate's degree and then go into the military.

But I'm just not sure whether I should start investing or if I should keep piling up the cash in case I do decide to go to university. You should keep piling up the cash in case you decide to go to university. Once you've made the decision, you can decide. If you decide not to go, you have a pile of cash. Okay. There's no downside to that strategy. The baby steps really are for you're in the middle of your education process, and the baby steps are really for after you get out of education.

When you graduate and you're working a job, then you work through the process of building your emergency fund, getting out of debt, and starting to build wealth in your retirement and paying off your house. But right now, you have really one goal. Finish your education, if that's a two-year or a four-year. Okay. That's your only goal.

So even like with all my extra money just just let it sit yeah i won't hurt anything there's nothing wrong with having a pile of cash when you are ready to make a decision it helps you to make the decision if you're broke you make a different decision than if you're not broke yep you might go into the military kind of sort of not wanting to because you need the money to eat or you might go into the military to serve your country on a very noble thing because you have a complete choice because there's thirty thousand dollars laying in your account john what would you coach her on a hundred percent yeah there's no downside your goal is to get out of whatever education endeavor debt-free

and then you can make other decisions later. The challenge you're going to have is you're bored and you're smart. And so community college, your first semester is boring you. And so you're trying to figure out other things to be doing and just be at peace with where you are right now. Knock your classes out, learn a lot. If you can get an internship, if you can get a job in the field where you want to be learning, go for it, but just follow the plan. Be slow and enjoy your time. If you're going to go to the field where you want to be learning, go for it. But just follow the plan. Be slow and enjoy your time. If you're going to go to the military, life's about to change in a drastic way. Or if you go to a four-year degree and graduate, then life changes.

So enjoy where you're at. Okay. Have some peace. You're doing it right. You're kicking butt. You are way, way, way ahead of the game, Abby. Way ahead. Here's the main reason you're way ahead.

Not only are you accomplishing these goals with cash and you're building up some cash that's impressive but what's most impressive is most people just do not do life with any sense of intentionality and you're just being very intentional and that's really weird uh for people most people don't do it most people just kind of wander along and then wonder why they're broke of wander along and then wonder why they're broke. They wander along and then wonder why they got a degree in left-handed puppetry that's useless. And they wander along and they go, well, I got this degree in, you know, Gothic poetry. And, you know, then I can't figure out why I can't get a job because there are no little woods fairies hiring. That's the problem. And so, oh, my God, you know know it's just the kind of stuff right so that

actually did happen the other day but there's a degree gothic poetry a guy who got a minor in gothic poetry so um it did happen uh higher ed is an industry listen to me you're doing it to yourself stop that's all that's all just stop if don't offer that degree, we won't make fun of you anymore. Stop. I'm trying to help you from the inside here, man. Stop. You're doing it to yourself as an industry. Yeah.

So you, Abby, you are not doing any of that stupid stuff. You are being very smart, very intentional. I meet people who kind of life happens to them until they're 35 or 40, and then they decide they have to be intentional and happen to life and uh so you are you are way ahead of the game and by the way you have more the options on the table than are more options that you could choose than the ones you put on the table so the options will continue to unfold for you and you'll continue to make great calls you are a sharp young lady heidi is in wichita kansas hey Hey, Heidi, how are you?

I'm good. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. What's up? Well, I'm a little nervous, so hopefully I can get this out. Okay. But we are in a situation, my husband and I, we're 52 and 47, and both of us have basically been self-employed most of our lives.

He is a freelance artist. I am a groomer. And he has actually, and is there now, taken a job in Philadelphia that is an art-based government job. We are trying to make sure that we are making the right decision in making this move if that's what we end up committing to is he over there testing it or he took the job didn't you already make the decision well we decided he could take the job um we haven't sold the house i'm still in in kansas um just to make sure that it was a good thing before we sold our house and all of those things.

So he took the job and wasn't sure of it. Right. Well, you know, being self-employed, he has done, you know, production-type jobs. Okay, so how can we best help you? You know, we uh in baby steps we're six and seven we have no children um but uh had just actually um finished baby step three just as a pandemic um hit basically so your um program has been ultra um uh important to us but um yeah just struggling with uh you know moving from you know our house we only owe about 90 000 on it so what did what did he

used to make as a freelancer uh sculpture no i'm sorry money how much money oh okay money um last year um before expenses was 118 461 okay and that was for both of us and that was for both of us what did he make uh you know i think that was for. That may have just been the business. Total after expenses was $77,749. He made $70,000 doing sculptures, net profit. I think that was both of us. I make $45,000. Okay, so he made $35,000 doing sculpture. Okay, and how much is the...

It had to have been more than that. How much is the... Well, you're going to get your number straight because it's going to matter sorry that's okay what's the uh what's the government paying him um 108 461 this year and then it'll go up to 115 so suffice it to say he more than doubled his income yeah except that you're also dealing with higher um yeah cost of living different world and so forth. And then the next question is, do you not want to live there?

Because you really don't sound like you want to leave Kansas to me. I have a sister and a one-year-old niece that live four blocks from my house. Was that a yes or a no? It's an unsure. I would rather stay here with them, but I am open to the move. The benefit the move gives me is getting to potentially change careers. Grooming is what I've done for 25 years, and it is very hard on the body. Okay, so what I'm going to tell you is nothing is forever, and it doesn't have to be forever.

If you go to Philadelphia in two years from now, it's not an adventure, it's a nightmare, go home. You're both self-employed and smart and good. You'll figure it out. Go home. Go start again, and you'll be fine. I think you're making this too permanent. You're acting like this is a death sentence, or you're going to jail and you can't get out. And you're going to miss that niece.

You can fly back over there. You have four times more money. Yeah. So buy an airline ticket. But he's already taken the job. So at this point, the ship has sailed, man. Go. Yeah, I think you're second guessing after you've already done your decision.

Right. That puts us out of the Dave Ramsey Show and the books. Thanks to James Childs, our producer, Kelly Daniel, our associate producer and phone screener. I am Dave Ramsey, your host. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. This is James Childs, producer of The Dave Ramsey Show.

On your smart speaker, you can add our skill by saying, Alexa, open the Ramsey Network skill. From there, you can listen to all our shows. Ask Dave money questions like, how do I invest my money? Or what is the debt snowball? Find out more at DaveRamsey.com.