The Ramsey Show - App - How Do We Set Up a Will While Our Son Is in Jail? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: May 4, 2021

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live from the headquarters of ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show. Where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Anthony O'Neill, Ramsey personality, best-selling author of the book, Debt-Free Degree. How to go to College Without Debt. He can show you how. He's my co-host today as we're taking your calls about your life and your money. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Monique is in Trenton, New Jersey.

Hi, Monique. How are you? Hi. I wonder if you can help me figure out if I can afford this next move. I am 75 years old, single. I own my own home, which I can sell for about a third of a million. I thought I was going to stay here forever. It's a two-story home. However, three months ago, I suffered one heck of an injury, which made me rethink things. And now I want to sell this house and get into a senior living complex.

And I'm wondering if you can help me figure out if I can afford this thing long term. My assets, my net worth is approximately $1 million. The initial buy-in for an apartment that I like is about $270,000 with a monthly fee of $3,000. That is going to be going up historically, they say, by approximately 4%. Now, my monthly income is approximately $48,000. That includes pulling out of my stock and bond portfolio. The rest of it is Social Security and an annuity. You mean your annual income? Yes. I'm sorry.

What did I say? You said monthly. I was about to say, yeah, you could clearly afford it. No. So you've got about $50,000 a year to live on. You're going to put most of your house back into this deal, and you're taking on an extra $3,000. What do you get for $3,000 a month after you've already paid for the apartment? Just about everything, okay?

All utilities, you get 30 meals a month, all the social stuff that goes on. Now, that's just independent living. They also have what they call a continuum of care where you can move into assisted living and then later into nursing home or memory care, and those monies go up. Assisted living goes to $55 fee a month, $5,500 a month, and memory care at $8,500 a month. What happens to the property when you die? They keep 10% of it, and the rest of it goes back into your estate. Okay.

And they go up in value, I assume. No, I don't think they do. Okay. No, they're keeping all of that. Okay. Okay. Now, you can, if you start to run out of money, the deal is they can't throw you out once you're in.

They contracted to take care of you forever. Yeah, but they're looking at your net worth for that, so they know they got you covered. And also, they're looking at that money that they have up front, the buy-in money, which they will start to chip away from in the event that you lose the ability to pay. So is this something which is reasonable for me to think about? They're asking what they're saying for financial requirements assets,

approximately two times your initial buy-in, including the house. And they want an income, which is you multiply your monthly charge by 1.4. Now, see, I don't know what income is. Well, it's your $48,000. So $4,000 a month, and they want three times 1.4, so you're okay. But. You qualify. Believe me, they're going to sell you this.

Okay, so what is an alternative? alternative you know the way to look at it is say okay what other options are there and um do i you know where am i at risk and what else can i do so if you bought a similar property and bought your own care for three thousand dollars a month including food uh but that property went up in value, but you'd have to mess with the potentially, you know, if it was a condominium, maybe you had to take care of the inside of it. The exterior is part of an HOA. But the asset doesn't, you know, it does go up in value,

and they don't keep the appreciation. You keep the appreciation. Your estate keeps the appreciation. So you're 75. Other than this accident, you're in good health, right? Yes, that's correct. So let's say, what, 10 or 15 years worth of appreciation on a piece of real estate. Yeah.

So 15 years ago, what was this $350,000 property worth? 25 years ago, it was $150,000. Yeah. So it's worth 200. It's gone up 100%. It's gone up from 200 to 350. It's gone up 150 in 15 years. Yeah.

And that's what you're giving up. But what you've got is a system and a group of people around you to take care of you in all kinds of different stages. So it's how much – obviously, they're running a business. They're not doing anything evil. It's not a scam. But this is one of the ways that elder care is structured these days, and it obviously has a profit built into it. There's no question about that. And we don't – I don't mind a restaurant making a profit on me. I don't mind my car repairman making a profit built into it. There's no question about that. And we don't, you know, I don't mind a restaurant making a profit on me.

I don't mind my car repairman making a profit on me. And I don't mind your nursing home making a profit on you or your assisted living making a profit on you. We don't mind that. The question is just, do you have a different way you can do this that'll give you the same services at a better transactional rate? Maybe not. It doesn't sound like it's, nothing's killing me here with the numbers.

Are you hearing anything scaring you with the numbers? No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm kind of like, okay. Yeah. What you're giving up is a sense of control and ownership. Yes. Yes, that's true.

And what I'm gaining primarily is socialization because I've got 5 million clubs. So you can go stay in another one if you want to go travel? You can just stay in another one. Is that what you're saying? No. So they've got lots of people there that would be my age that I can say hi to and have coffee with. Oh, okay.

But you said they got five million clubs like what do you mean what does that mean oh you're exaggerating you're saying there's a bridge club and a so a bunch of social things on site okay good lord i thought you were joining a time chair or something i didn't know what you were getting me too okay i was like where are we going to all these clubs? Okay. Now we're going clubbing. Okay. Not anymore, Dave. Not anymore. Of course, you know, I would love to leave a legacy for my grandchildren.

You know what? That's secondary. All this money that you built up is first and foremost to take care of you, secondly, to leave an inheritance. Right. We don't want to be wasteful, and you don't want to be ripped off. Right. right we don't be wasteful and you don't want to be ripped off right but um you know the only i you know i've looked at these things like 10 times i'm not an expert on them so i'm kind of waiting in this like a little bit newbie like you but i'm looking at just the math on it

i think what you're getting is a system and a process around you that gives you more comfort than what you're paying. Mm-hmm. Because I'm looking at this point, because this scared me badly. Yeah. The injury. Yeah, the piece. It really did. The piece that you're getting for this. What you're giving up is the appreciation on the real estate and a sense of control.

You're pretty much going to do their thing at their price. That's what they're going to do. And, you know, you're stuck with that. So, but, you know, just run the numbers out and go, you know, can I pay this? Yeah, you can pay it. And it gets rid of food costs and utility costs out of your budget and housing costs out of your budget. So it's not bothering me.

I think you want to do it, and that's part of what makes me want you to do it. Anthony O'Neill, Ramsey Personalities, our co-host today. Our question of the day comes from Blinds.com. Find out for yourself why Blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window covering. You get free samples, free shipping, and with the new promos they run every month, you'll save even more. Use the promo code Ramsey to get the best possible deal. So, Dave, today's question comes from Bill in South Dakota. He says, we are debt-free except our house and have six months of expenses in our emergency fund. We invest 15% and have $53,000 in non-retirement investments.

My kids will be in college after I turn 59. I would like to help them with college expenses by using our retirement funds as needed instead of setting up a 529. Is this a good idea? No, I would not use your retirement funds to support your kids. I would still invest into a 529. Yeah. Now the 529 is going to grow completely tax-free. So is a Roth IRA, but you want to leave that Roth IRA and let it grow, leave it alone and let it continue to grow throughout your retirement years tax-free.

And so the 529 is a better vehicle. It's more tax-efficient for you than messing up your retirement nest egg. So Anthony's exactly right. Yeah, it's seldom a good idea to use a seldom, like almost never a good idea to attack to to use a seldom like almost never a good idea i go further to use a the wrong vehicle for the wrong thing absolutely you know you just don't use a you know a sports car to be a bulldozer i mean you just don't there's a reason that they're different and so i'm making up something there wasn't even good but But that's a good analogy. I mean, you're just using the wrong tool for the wrong job. And if you're using a car to be a bulldozer, you're hurting the car.

And you got an inefficient bulldozer. Exactly. So if your retirement is set up to help you retire, what you're doing is you're only hurting yourself at retirement age. And then you're putting more headache on your kids to now help you and so focus on your retirement keep your retirement go ahead and start investing into their 529 and hey what if you're too late right now what if you're not you know ahead of the game and you won't have enough to cover the college expenses well sit down and have a conversation with them get a copy of my book debt-free degree and put a lot of the ownership on them focus on your grades focus on the sct scores the act scores and we can find the

money uh to make up whatever you don't have but do not sacrifice your future isabel is with us in san angelo texas hi isabel hi dave how are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Awesome. So I recently married my soulmate, and sadly, my soulmate had lots of debt. So we've been gazelle intense about paying off his car and his credit card bill, but we still have $90,000 left in student loans. And my question is, we have a rental home in San Angelo that is really close to Angelo State. And I was planning on keeping it so my kids could use it. I have five kids and the oldest is going to college in four years. So we're renting it. I figured they could live there when they went to ASU. But if I sold it now while the markets, we could probably get out of debt in a year.

So I just don't know. What does your soulmate make? About 85. What do you make? I am just a substitute right now. Okay. So how long do you think it's going to take to pay off 90 making 85? At this pace, three to five.

But I'm just, I didn't have any debt except for my mortgage before the marriage, and so I'm just ready to get back there. Okay. And since we're making headway right now because we're not being charged interest, so everything is going straight to the loans. What does your, yeah, but what's your fiancé do, I'm sorry, your new husband do for a living? He works oilfield. Okay.

Now, do you plan on being a substitute teacher for the next three years? Well, that's the other thing. I could get a full-time job. It's just that I tried that at the beginning of this year, and my kids, they had to spend a lot of time alone. Okay. And so I just decided to stay home. Okay. And now I sub at their school. I'm in a classroom with one of them right now okay that's fair well i mean the the trade-off is this are you guys can he pick up any extra

hours where can we cut the budget and get on a written detailed plan i think you're debt-free in three years 30 000 a year out of 85 is doable yes and that And that's times 3 is 90. Yeah, times 3 is 90. So 3 to 5 is not an option. 3 is an option. I like that. Or sooner by cranking up something, income, or cranking down expenses. So you're trading three years of struggle for this rental house.

Mm-hmm. Rental house is paid for, right? No. It's not? Okay. What do you owe on it? A hundred. And it's worth how much?

My realtor says it may sell for 180 right now. Oh, so it wouldn't quite pay it all off then, no? Not quite. And you're saying your kids can stay there when they go to college? Yes. And you know for sure they're going there.

That's where they want to go. How long have you been married? Since July. Of last year? Yes. And everything's going good there? Everything's great. I'm selling the rental.

You are? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I want out of debt. Because I want to, but he doesn't want to. I want out of debt. Okay.

Yeah, but he's basically making you lose your investment for his student loans, so that's a bit of a shaming issue for him. But we're not dealing with him and you anymore we're dealing with you as a couple and what puts you guys in the best position 10 years from today versus what makes you feel good today um and and so i'm i i love rental real estate i'm not gonna fight this hard with five kids in the house and live on nothing for three years just to keep a rental property right it's just not that appealing to me i'll get another one later yeah i thought it was

debt-free that's why i was yeah okay all right and you got payments on it and you got to screw with renters and you got to and you got five kids yep so we got rid of we got rid of hassle and we got rid of debt and uh because rental property is work i mean you don't have you have to mess with it and so it's not it's not going to the mailbox and picking up a check it's not that simple so um now don't take three years to pay off the remaining debt though once you know do it in 20 minutes exactly yeah i mean we're cleaning up getting every nickel out of every couch in this house and we're getting out of debt right now yeah right now very aggressive very aggressive and then the part his part of it is that you guys say okay as these kids go back to school as these

kids go off to college well let's try to get in a position we can just pay cash for a rental over there yeah and put them in it if it's across town yeah uh but um you, there's no requirement. Listen, I own a bunch of real estate. Zero Ramsey kids stayed in one of my properties while they were in college. Zero. I did not go to Knoxville 200 miles away and start buying properties to put college kids in. I just put them in there. Daniel and I were talking about it at breakfast this morning. My son and I had breakfast.

He goes, you remember that old ratty house we rented and you wouldn't let me co-sign so we prepaid the rent? I'm like, yeah, because I'm not signing a co-signature and neither are you. That's a lot more dangerous than prepaid rent. So I just paid his portion of the rent for two semesters and then he was on a budget. We were supporting him going to college. And his portion wasn't that much. It was $200, $300 a month or something because it was not a fine property. But I don't want to be the landlord of that bunch of goobers.

I mean, do you want to be their landlord? No, but it's like as a college boy, boys in one house, shoot me and get it over with. There's smells there you'll never get rid of. As a father, as a wealthy father, I'm just surprised to hear you say that, Dave, because most wealthy people will be like, yeah, I'll buy the house. That's cool. Yeah, but, I mean, the thing is, then I've got to get rid of it, and I've got to deal with the crap. I've got to, you know, I've got to detox it.

That's fair. No, I'll just let somebody else deal with that. A little bit of rent money is cheap. That's a cheap out, man. This is The Ramsey Show. Yes. How many of you, when the pandemic was going and 2020 is happening, and you're watching the roller coaster of the stock market, you kind of got your stomach up into your throat going, my retirement, I'm scared. Some of you, you watched it go down, and then you watched it come back up, and maybe you're close to retiring, and you're wondering if you should work a few more years to make up the difference. Maybe you weren't investing in the right things, or maybe you weren't investing at all,

or maybe you pulled your money out, which is really stupid. See, folks, if you're in one of these situations, I want you to know you don't have to face this pain and this uncertainty alone. You need people in your corner now more than ever. Seek out the advice of an investment professional. A conscientious investment pro like one of our SmartVestor pros is not going to tell you to invest in something dumb

like gold or bitcoin. They're going to spend a ton of time looking at your current situation putting you in a conservative investment with a proven long term track record. And they're going to show you what you're doing and teach you so you're making the real decision. You don't have to let something like 2020 kill your confidence for investing.

Go to RamseySolutions.com slash SmartVestor. Find an investment pro in your area. Never again face a global crisis alone. RamseySolutions.com slash SmartVestor. So, Anthony, the stock market dove a year ago. And in a matter of a couple months, it was back. And the people that dove out of the stock market when they, because they were at home being quarantined one year ago right now.

Are upset. Were freaked out. Yep. And they thought, oh, this pandemic is truly the end of the world. The stock market, I mean, there was terror. There was a lot of real fear. Yes. And you and I are doing a lot of media then.

All the Ramsey personalities were doing streaming events out of here. The message of hope went out. We did all these different things trying to get people to calm down and just go back up, pan out, have a long-term perspective. This, too, shall pass. And it passed from an investment perspective faster than the actual virus passed. Absolutely. I mean, I thought the investments might take a year to come back and the coveted be gone in a month yeah and it's quite the opposite uh it's taken a year to get the covet stuff out of most people's systems it's not out of everybody's system yet right and uh

but the investments have been back a long time yeah they came back quick and if you have all the data tells us that if you have a professional in your corner that talk you off the ledge, keep you from panicking, that you have a higher probability of making money. It's not that their investments necessarily are better than you would have picked on your own. It's that you don't jump off a cliff. Absolutely. You know, my investor, Dave, when I when I caught my smart investor, he said, hey, this is something I've heard you say. But he said, do not forget on paper. Yes, it's going to go down.

But when you take it out, that's permanent. It will go back up.'s going to go down but when you take it out that's permanent it will go back up it has to go back up and he said i he said it was probably like around last september he suspected it would be back up within eight months and and david it went right back up and the numbers were very well and i remember all of us begging people do not touch your investments do not touch your 401k even though the government was giving you a way out do not touch your investments. Do not touch your 401k. Even though the government was giving you a way out, do not touch your Roth IRAs. Do not touch none of this stuff. And now I have friends who have called me and said I messed up.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. They wouldn't listen to you. Wouldn't listen to me. Wouldn't, you know, it's like, and that's your smart Mr. Pro was correct. When it goes down and you sell, you actually have locked in, we call it, you locked in your losses. There you go. You guaranteed that you're going to lose money.

Yes, sir. Because you just did. Yeah. You know, and so versus, I remember somebody said to Warren Buffett one time, the price of the stock portfolio that he had went down several billion billion dollars uh you know in a you know in one of these downturns and they said you know mr buffett you just lost several billion dollars and he said no i didn't only old paper i haven't i haven't sold it yeah when i sell it that's when i've lost it yep when it comes back up did i gain it you know no not till i you know did you make

several billion no not till i sell it right you, so it's just, you know, you haven't made anything until you actually put the money in your pocket or put the loss in your pocket and lock it in. Yeah. And so, you know, but the data tells us that just like having a personal trainer gives you a better chance of winning, just like having a coach inside Ramsey Plus gives you a better chance of finishing your dead snowball, a SmartVestor Pro in your corner gives you a better chance of staying in the investment, which is actually the statistical key. The secret sauce is not figuring out the perfect investment. The secret sauce is keep investing and never stop. Never stop. Yep. And also one of the secret sauce, David, I think, which I love hearing you, you know, even at your level of

status, you still have a smart investor pro that just educates you on certain things when you meet with him on a yearly basis. And I was like, man, I'm constantly learning. Even when I was even a little fearful myself last year, Dave, I said, all right, cool. I'm going to trust Dave. I'm going to trust you all. I'm not going to touch this thing. And Dave, I'm trying to tell you, even a small fear that did hit me for a quick second i ain't gonna say sure no it does i mean it hit you're not human if you're not facing some big blow-up

thing like a pandemic and you don't go oh my god what's happening here yeah i mean in 2008 i'm i remember distinctly sitting i had done three shows on fox yeah in New York, and the stock market is going off a cliff. I mean, it went from $13,000 to $6,500. I mean, it's going off a cliff. And I remember sitting in the steakhouse there right next to Fox. Sharon and I went over there for lunch after I'd just finished Neil Cavuto. And I'd been in there with Neil. Neil's smart as a whip.

And he's like, aren't you scared? No, I'm not scared. No, I'm not scared. I kept saying, no, I'm not scared. And then I'm sitting there in New York City in this steakhouse, and I'm watching these big red letters go across the side of the Fox building, watching the stock market drop minute by minute by minute. It's dropping.

And I know this stuff. I teach this stuff. Right. And I'm going, people that are smarter than me are scared. Maybe I should be scared. Right. And I said, Sharon, am I dumb for not being scared? And she said, no, we actually know what we're doing.

We've been through these kinds of things before. And we're people of faith. We don't place all of our happiness based on the size of our stinking bank account. Exactly. Anyway, and we've been broke before, and we didn't lose our minds then. We'd be broke again. We'd be all right. But we're not going to be broke.

It's going to be okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and that's how I felt too, Dave. Honestly, I was, oh, okay, get over this fear and keep on moving and i'm so grateful that i didn't do it so grateful my family didn't do it but i have to be honest i was sad and hurt that my friends didn't listen yeah well you gotta have somebody in your corner to talk you off the ledge that's what it comes down to jude is in tampa florida are you? How are you doing, Mr. Ramsey, Mr. O'Neill?

I'm good. Great, man. How can we help? Great. Well, I find myself actually in a good situation. I'm just looking for a little bit of advice. Currently, my take-home household income is $150,000 a year, about $83,000 of that between a military pension and VA benefits, and then the rest between myself

and my wife's jobs. I'm about to change jobs this coming summer within the next couple months, just don't have a firm date yet. And I am debt-free except for our house, which is, we owe about $258,000 on the mortgage.. So my question is the job that I'm going into, the 401k that they offer without me having to contribute, they do 15%. So I already contribute to my retirement, 15% of everything. My question is, is, would it be wise at all? I really want to pay off the house to just contribute 15% of everything. Good. My question is, would it be wise at all, I really want to pay off the house, to just contribute 15% of my non-pension income, because that pension's going to be there for my life,

would I be able to just contribute the 15% of the non-pension income and the money that I'm saving, dump all that on the house to get the house paid off quicker. Dude, you're a grown man. You're able to do whatever you want to do. Okay. Well, I'm looking for some advice as far as what you would recommend. I would recommend putting 15% of your income into retirement.

Absolutely. And all these other things. Okay. Because the answer to the question is, how rich do you want to be? Right. Okay. You know, I mean, I don do you want to be? Right. Right. Okay. You know, I mean, I don't want to be quite as wealthy. Okay.

Well, then. Okay. No, I mean, you're putting it all towards the house, so it is going to work out. But the interesting thing is that you won't change the date that you pay off your house, but by one year by doing all this. Wow. Maybe two years. But you're not going to change it by eight years.

And so it's not changing it as much as it feels like in your emotions it's going to change it. So you can do whatever you want to do, obviously. We recommend you put 15% of your income away, take care of kids' college and baby step five, and pay off your house with anything you can scrape up past those two and baby step six. And I don't think it's going to change your house payoff date as much as you think it's going to change it when you run out the math actually Thank you for joining us, America. Anthony O'Neill, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today.

Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Amy is with us in Cincinnati. Hi, Amy. Welcome to The Ramsey Show. Hi. Thank you very much. I just have a question.

My brain just keeps shutting down when I try to process it. I live in Ohio. We are putting our will together with the mom and bear legal forms, but our son is incarcerated in a different state, and that's where I sort of hit a block of I'm not really sure how to deal with that in our will. It'll be a few more years, and if something happened before then, I'm not sure how that works. Okay.

So what you're saying, I think, is that you want to leave him money anyway, but you don't know how it will be handled while he's incarcerated. Right. And then, he's incarcerated. Right. And then, yes. Yes. Okay. So you don't have any question about whether to leave him money or... No, not at all. Based on his crime or his life or anything else, it's just how to do it.

How to do it. Okay. All right. How much longer is he incarcerated amy um at least probably three more years okay and um i've been modeling this over for two years already like i've got to get this done in case you have other children i I do. They're all grown. They are all grown? Yes.

Okay. We have a couple properties, and we're everyday millionaires, but I'm just not sure how to proceed with him incarcerated in another state. Well, the other state doesn't matter. He doesn't need money now, and he would need access to it on a limited basis, however you wanted to limit it coming out. How is his relationship with his siblings? It's good.

So they are as supportive as you are? Yes. Okay. Why don't you just leave his portion in trust with one of your other kids as the trustee? Okay. And then that trust could be dissolved on whatever terms you wanted it to be dissolved.

If you feel like he's responsible enough to just be handed the money when he walks out of jail, which feels a little weird, but I don't know what he did or what's going on, so it's hard for me to tell. But I would want to protect him from himself, blowing the money. Blowing the money. But how old is he? 23. Okay. himself right blowing the money right blowing the money but how old is he uh 23 okay so yeah and i i don't uh i guess could i could get a neutral person if not one of his siblings i don't want anything to have to fall on one of his siblings you know uh as far as managing it but well you

can you know you may if you want to get that if you want to get that complicated, you may want to get an attorney to draft this, and you can set the attorney up as the trustee. Oh, okay. A state attorney. A state attorney often serves as trustees. Okay. And so then you just divide everything up into his third goes into trust, and then that's that?

Exactly. That's that? Okay. Or whatever you're going to leave him can go into trust, and it could just simply sit there and be managed for his benefit until he's released, and then it's turned over to him. Or it's turned over him a little bit at a time after he's released. However you prefer to do that.

But you're going to leave this kid a half million dollars, it sounds like. It's turning over him a little bit at a time after he's released, however you prefer to do that. Right. But you're going to leave this kid a half million dollars, it sounds like. Probably around there. Yeah. So on the actual physical property, like house and things like that, I've been told that you should have it on death, the being transferred to, like, one of our kids. No. No, you'll lose step.

Yeah, I wouldn't put them on the deed, but you can have it transferred to them upon death. Okay. That gives them a stepped-up basis in it, and you don't want to. Okay. You do not want to put their name on it prior to death. Right. Okay.

So just have it transferred to them upon death. Yeah. Yeah. And hopefully you've got properties that you don't have to have them being like partners in, that you can give one of them one property, one of them the other property, and so on, right? Right. Right. Yes.

That's how it is. And then kind of even it out, even out the differences with cash, right? Right. Right, because they don't want him to have to get into all that. I'm curious, because you seem very, very sure that at A, he's 23, he'll be 26 when he gets out, that he's going to be capable of managing this, and yet he did something that landed him in jail. What did he do?

Well, it was he went off his medication and committed a felony. But normally this is not an issue. Medication. What was he on medication for? Normally, this is not an issue. There's been, but it's all, he's. Medication. What was he on medication for? For depression. Bipolar? All the details, but.

That's okay. He's bipolar? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's part of it. And so it was? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's part of it. And so it was just a crazy time. Okay, I'm trying to think with you here. I'm not trying to shame him or you.

I'm just trying to think with you how we can best be a blessing to this young man. Because the last thing, because money magnifies people. They're good and the bad in them. Right. And so in all of us, it happens. So the more more money you get the more you are of who you are because you got more power to do things with and more margin more tools in your hands and so uh i would if i were you i would consider prayerfully something like he needs to have six months after he's out that he's on his medication yeah right because it's not it's not going to be good for him to have a half million dollars if he's on his medication yeah right because it's not it's not going to be good for him to have a

half million dollars if he's off his medication nope right because last time he was on his medication it wasn't good you know this kind of thing i because i i don't want him i don't want this to be a curse to him rather than a blessing right that's all i'm thinking i agree so think think through some ways how you can help him be protected against himself until he has the character structure or whatever to carry this yeah and you know what dave i was um going to chime in you know unfortunately i have a cousin that was in a similar situation and his mother uh left him some money and she did for five years every one year anniversary he had access to more money yeah yeah and so i mean and it worked for him now unfortunately after the fifth year uh he made some more bad decisions and

landed back in jail but i agree with you that if he would have him the best shot exactly yeah it gives him a bit a gradual thing because otherwise you get lotto syndrome when somebody you know you come out of jail and you gotta have a million dollars you feel like you hit the lotto yeah yeah and um you know and it it doesn't bode well for the mental illness that he's struggling with no so uh you need to get on top of that because you're always going to have money problems and other problems too obviously as long as you do that so it's a struggle but i mean listen to this mother's heart, though. Very sweet. He messed up. I still want to be a blessing. Sure.

That's very sweet. I got no issue with that at all. I'm not saying, I'm not trying to punish somebody further. That's not the point. The point is to do the opposite, to make sure that we're not enhancing their ability to screw up. Is there like a law, Dave, because I'm not familiar with this, but can you extend it like a long period of time, like over 15, 20 years? You can put whatever you want on the trust. You never get the money.

You can only take the income off of it your entire life. That's where trust fund baby comes from. They live off the money of the trust fund, but they never get the trust. That's where the concept comes from. So, yeah, you can set it up however you want. I wouldn't recommend that, though. Yeah. I think that's, it doesn't bode well for everybody involved.

At some point, the people need to be able to carry the weight of the wealth without it being a damage to them, or they need to relinquish it, one of the two. This is The Ramsey Show. Have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of Ramsey advice in their life? Let them know about the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast. It's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes. Check out the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.