The Ramsey Show - App - How Gazelle Intensity Works (Hour 2)

Episode Date: September 1, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is the Dave Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. My name is Anthony O'Neill, and co-host with me today is the one and only, the number one podcast person in the world right now, the one and only Dr. John Deloney. We're sitting here taking your phone calls, 888-825-5225, 888-825-5225. And we're going to go out to Salina and have a conversation with Tamara. Tamara, good afternoon. How can Dr. D and I help? Thank you so much. I'm a little nervous and I ramble, so please, the rest of you is needed. So a little background, my husband and I have been married about six and a half years.

We have a beautiful little boy and a little girl on the way in January. Congrats. Thanks. We both did undergraduate completely debt-free with grants and scholarships and little measly 20-hour-a-week jobs. It was really fun. And now we're actually, my husband's in his third year of medical school, and we're still debt-free because he was able, we were very blessed to get a scholarship. Wow, that's pretty cool. Yeah, God has really been good to us. And, you know, even though we've got the scholarship, our entire marriage, we've been living beneath the poverty line.

We've never had debt. We've always been able to pay typing, always been able to be generous, and always been able to pay typing, always been able to be generous, and always been able to save a little. And even by the time we move out to residency, we should have a good enough down payment for a house. That's awesome. So that's me and my husband. So how can we help? Sorry, this is very emotional.

So my parents, I'm really worried for them. They make about $200,000 a year, which is about, I make about 10% of that. And it's just hard because I've been able to make that work. And my parents rival Congress. Like they just can't seem to make it work. And in the past two or three years, things have gotten really weird because of, I'm guessing because of money. But, like, just for an example, this year when I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to go stay with my parents for a little while. I paid for my plane ticket and while I was

out there, my grandma, we were told she was, she had 72 hours to live. And so my dad was going to pay for the ticket, but then he was like, I don't have enough money in the bank. So I just paid for the emergency flight, which was really hard for us, but we did it, and I'm glad we did. But then I was asking them, hey, you know, because of my husband's rotations and because of my pregnancy, I didn't feel like we should travel for Thanksgiving this year, so I said, can you come out here? And the response was just, oh, I don't know if we can afford it. I don't know if we can afford it. So is your frustration or concern that you think that you know that they make a lot of money, yet they don't seem like they've got money to spend it the way that you think they should be spending it? I mean, I guess that's a little bit of it.

I intentionally ask that in a confrontational way, by the way. Right. I guess what I'm getting at is this. Your parents make their money, and they can spend it how they want to spend it. And it can be really frustrating when you have a set of values that's different from your loved ones. When you have a set of values that you are making things work, you are scratching and clawing and biting and fighting on below the poverty line. And you're not borrowing money. You're helping your husband get through med school, which is a traumatic endeavor in itself.

And your parents don't share those same values. And so it hurts when you think somebody's got a lot of money and they say, I don't have enough money to come visit you. Because that sounds like a value judgment. That sounds like, oh, if you were making better decisions, then you would be able to come spend time with us. And really, at the end of the day, this is a harsh statement, but I want you to put it in your heart and soul. You don't get a vote in how they spend their money. You don't get a vote in their financial dysfunction.

And you will get a vote when it comes to what home they're going to be put in, right? And they don't have any money in savings. You'll get a vote then. But what I want to challenge you is to take that poison out of your heart. Set it down. Because all you're doing is it's poisoning and flavoring and coloring every phone call you have with them, every interaction you have with them. And it's just got this heated season that's unnecessary. You love your parents. They make different life choices than you. You really disagree with their values when it comes to how they spend their money, how they

make their money, but don't carry that poison around with you. Or say your values are so different than mine, I'm cutting you off. If I'm not worth having a budget and your, um, you know, your daughter and your son-in-law aren't worth visiting because you won't do a budget, um, tell them that and then say, when you decide to get right with your souls and your son-in-law aren't worth visiting because you won't do a budget, tell them that and then say, when you decide to get right with your souls and your budget, then so be it. That'd be foolish. That'd be silly. But you're welcome to do that, right?

That'd be dumb. Don't do that tomorrow. Anthony's a voice of reason. Whatever. Don't do that. I agree tomorrow with what John is saying you don't get a vote now here's what you do get

you do have the right to say something once you say something then leave it alone okay I've had several of those conversations with both steps of my family you know I have two biological parents and two step parents and two by two step parents.

And technically all four of them are my parents. I hate the term step parents and in both of them, you know, because I'm in a money space. I'm like, yo, y'all can make a little better decision than that. Why did you go do that? Don't do that. But then I had to quickly realize, OK, that's my opinion. That's my life life i can't force it on to them i i give them my advice after that i'm not going to stress myself and if i was married

i'm definitely not losing sleep i'm not getting emotional because my parents are grown people and i got a spouse and kids here and you know you're you have a husband you have a family listen tomorrow make sure that you and your husband do not become your parents that's your number one concern right now make sure that your kids can look up to you as making the right decisions financially make sure that you are living by an example that you are the example that you want your kids to model. You know, love your parents. Give them guidance. Give them freedom.

But you know what? At the same time, worry about your family. I wouldn't worry about your mom and dad right now. Give them your thoughts. Give them your prayers. And move on. Put it down. folks i love telling you about well-made well-thought-out products today i'm talking about grip six belts i don't know about you but I'm not a fan of traditional belts.

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I wouldn't mind some free coaching myself. That would be fun. We should call the coaches and check in on them. Just to see how they're coaching. Coach me me coach because i'm a coach too you know what hey but listen that was a cool thing um about the the last dance that was one of my key takeaways for the last dance i had several key takeaways but one of the ones that stuck in my soul was michael jordan the greatest basketball player to ever live no hate to anybody else he was not the greatest he was but it's one of them you know what he had

you know what he had he had a basketball coach he did a nutritionist yep a physical trainer yes a security team yes so you've got a brilliant basketball mind. So does LeBron James. Right. LeBron James does too. He is excellent in his role as the second best player of all time. What? I'm just messing.

I'm just messing. You know what? You know what? This is Dave Ramsey. You have a mute button too. But here's the thing. Often, and earlier we took a call from a guy asking, a young man asking, what's the difference between a vanguard, just letting the computers run it, and having a coach, having someone alongside you?

Here's the thing. I don't know any wealthy people that don't have coaches with them. I don't know any professional athletes who know how to shoot. They know how to work out. They know what it takes to win and be championships at the championship level. They still have somebody watching the film to find the things that they're not seeing. They still have someone walk alongside them. And having a coach, having Rachel Cruz by your side, man, that's just another set of eyes, another set of accountability on this crazy life journey that we're all on,

hurling through this rock through space. And, man, I will take all the help and support I can get even support from Rachel Cruz who sits at the at the desk right next to us man she really does I mean her book is great so definitely check her out get this amazing deal uh and I promise you right now you'll be blessed let's go out to Atlanta Georgia to have a conversation here with uh Alicia Alicia good afternoon how can I help you? Hey. Well, I'm in a bit of a conundrum, and I kind of feel like I'm about to have a little breakdown,

so that's kind of why I called you guys. All right. So basically, I started school for cosmetology about a year ago. I was not allowed to go to school straight out of high school. I was homeschooled, grew up in a cult, and was abused. Did you say you grew up in a cult? Yes. Okay, all right. I had to get some therapy for that, and it took a while to get kind of out of that.

So I basically didn't start going to school until I was 30. And however, during that time, well, really before that, I was doing contracting work for a startup company. Had some experience already in that industry, and so I was working as a contractor for them. And basically, that company was going to be a $10 million company. And as it's grown, I've moved up the company. Wow. I am making $42,000.

My husband makes about $70,000. So basically, school right now, it has become not something that I enjoy instead of something that I'm doing because I don't want to quit because my dad always quit. But I'm just so spread thin right now. And I just feel like I should quit. But what if this business fails or what if you get fired, which I've been told you're like a founding member of the company, you're not going to get fired. Hey, Alicia. Alicia.

Uh-huh? You're not your dad. Okay. Hello? Yeah, you hear me, Alicia? Yes. You are not your dad. Yes. I want you to say that. I know. Nope, say the words out loud. Say, I am not my dad. I'm not my dad. Yes. I want you to say the words out loud. Say, I am not my dad.

I am not my dad. I am Alicia. Say, I am Alicia. I am Alicia. That's right. Now say that again. Because you're talking about yourself. I want you to say that one more time.

Say it firm. As a matter of fact, scream that again because you're talking about yourself I'm going to say that one more time say it firm as a matter of fact scream that joke if you need to I'm Alicia there you go and I'm not my dad I'm not my dad yeah

so listen to me super carefully alright Alicia okay you have been through hell and it would be a disservice to call it anything less than that. And every moment of every day, you are living out of that childhood trauma,

you're living out of the nonsense people put you through, and none of that defines you. You are not your yesterday. And you are in a remarkable relationship. You have found some expertise and some strength in a professional role. That doesn't define you either, by the way. But you are living into something. You're being successful at it.

And you're going to school. And you're smart enough. God almighty, listen, Alicia. You are smart enough and you know your heart well enough to know I'm spread too thin right now I need to let something go so yes all the blessings you don't need my blessing by the way you're a smart and brilliant woman and

I guarantee you know the answer to what I'm about to tell you take a break take a break kick butt on your job tell those suckers to pay you more than $40,000 by the way and be the best partner you can to your husband. And when school circles back around, my mom went to school at 42 for the first time. And she is a 70-year-old gangster right now with a PhD running a department.

I got a second graduate degree halfway through my life. Dude, you got all the time in the world. Alicia, once you take this break, what are you going to be doing? What will you be doing with your time? Honestly, like with my job, I really don't have a lot of time, which is why I'm in the States. And one of the reasons that I'm being paid what I am is just because my boss is basically letting me off work early on the days I have to go to school. So he didn't want to invest in someone who was going to eventually leave because the industry that I'm in has nothing to do with cosmology.

Well, and you've got a built-in gap right now. If anyone asks you in the future, you can say, they'll say, hey, why'd you quit school? Why'd you take two years off? And you can say, remember 2020? And they'll go, oh, yeah, that's cool. Right? You got it. So here's the thing, Alicia.

I'm going to rock with John on this one. My only thing for you is to still be productive and to still be doing something wise with your time while you take a break. I don't want you to take a break just to be taking a break. Take a break so that way you can come back with something stronger and better. You've been through a lot. Maybe take a few months off, but still be productive. Still figure out something you can do with your life. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Thank you. Sorry it took so long for me to come back in America

When our producer Puts on that kind of music I love it That's that's I love that right there Thank you thank you so much Hey going out to Las Vegas We're going to have a conversation with Paige Paige good afternoon How can Dr. D and I serve? How can we help? Thank you so much for having me,

first off. I am currently doing baby step number two, and I have an auto loan of $11,000 and then residual student loan debt of $5,750, which originally it was 25,000. So we're almost there. And then I have some restricting stocks that are set to vest this weekend. And my question to you was, is it wise for me to sell those stocks? Cause it will pay for the remaining debt that I have? Oh, man, that's a good question.

How much are the stocks worth? It's with a pretty major company. I don't really want to say, but it will be in the ballpark if it continues to stay. It'll be $16,450. Oh 450 oh wow so let me answer this question do you outside of these single stocks i'm not a fan of single stocks so um i think you know where i'm about to go with this as far as yes let's go ahead and pay off your debt outside of that do you have anything else invested i have no 401k um nothing like that. I recently, about a year ago, got divorced. So the equity of the house I've been really using towards paying off my debt. So yeah,

so I don't have anything currently, but I do have roughly around $1,500 after each check to allocate towards something. So that's some wiggle room for me. And I also have $3,000 in savings. Yeah. So here's what I'm going to recommend to you, Paige. Yes, go ahead. I'm not a fan of single stocks. I think you're going to lose. I think the status like nearly 78% of the people who invest into single stocks end up losing a lot of money. I would rather you get out of that, stop investing in single stocks, go ahead and pay off all your debt and then start investing into growth stock mutual funds and 401ks and sit down with a smart investor pro show you how to really properly invest. So yes, go on ahead, use that, pay it all off, move forward. But before you start investing again i want you to go ahead

and get your fully funded emergency fund and you're saying you have an extra fifteen hundred dollars to go towards some stuff you could possibly get there by the end of the year uh first of the year and you can start investing come first of the year but such a great question okay awesome thank you so much so page you're debt free right. So, Paige, you're debt-free, right? Like, sell these suckers. You're debt-free, man. Yeah, I'm very excited about it. Yeah. So it's been a long time coming. It's going to be amazing. Thank you so much, Paige.

Thank you. Have a great day. No problem. Going out to Columbus, Ohio, we're going to have a conversation here with Ashley. Ashley, good afternoon. How can Dr. D and I serve? Hi, guys. conversation here with Ashley. Ashley, good afternoon. How can Dr. D and I serve? Hi, guys. My husband sold our house over the weekend, and once we have closing costs and down payment on our new home, we'll have roughly $135,000 left over. So we feel a lot of weight and responsibility with that amount of cash. It'll be enough to pay off our debt, which is $20,000. We're going to walk through our emergency fund.

We're going to throw some of it towards the kids' college fund, tie some of it at our church. We're just confused. It's going to leave us with about $22,000 left, and we're just not sure what to do with the rest of the money. Okay, so let's walk through this. I mean, cause I'm honestly in the same situation as you, Ashley. I mean, I'm selling my house. I just purchased another house. And so I I'm right there with you. Uh, the key thing that you said off the top, what I love is you're going to tie.

So you're going to tie off of the one 35. Okay. Um, and then you can get that to the church and then you're going to pay off the remaining of your debt which is about twenty thousand so that's going to leave you about like ninety thousand dollars so but the 22 that you have right there is there anything will you have the fully funded emergency fund on top of that twenty two thousand dollars or is the twenty two thousand dollars part of your emergency fund no that's twenty two thousand on top of your emergency fund? No, that's $22,000 on top of the emergency fund. Perfect. And then you're taking some money already to invest into your kid's college, which is babysat number five. And I'm taking that you're going to also take some of this money and go ahead and just max out your Roth IRAs right now? That's correct.

Cool. Great. So the other $22,000, honestly, if you and your husband just sit down and just go through the budget, I honestly don't care what you do with it. I mean, I think you all have worked hard. You've worked the baby steps. And I think that the most confusing thing that I think the people believe with here at Ramsey Solutions is we don't want you to enjoy your money. No, we just want you to have a proven plan and just go through the process. You've covered all your bases. You're paying off all your debt. You have a fully plan and just go through the process. You know, you're, you've covered all your bases. You're paying off all your debt. You have a fully funded emergency fund. You've already maxed out your 15% of your investments for the year. You're already investing into your kid's

college. Um, and so the only other thing is from there is, do you want to set this aside to sell another home? Um, or I mean, to, to purchase another home? Or do you want to make $10,000 of that and just take the family on a nice vacation? I mean, it's really up to you and your husband just to sit down, have the conversation, and dream together. But there's nothing wrong with enjoying your money because you've already laid down a solid foundation. Yeah, and that money does cover the down payment of our new home as well so everything taken out 20 i think it's like 22 000 left and i'm the spender of the family and i'm the one

that feels like i can't spend anything because we've just been so gazelle and pence that i don't want to spend it have y'all been on a family vacation this year not because of covid we were supposed to we were supposed to be at disney world this year okay all right um take your family on a vacation how many kids do you have two two have they been anywhere this year fun exciting no take your family on a vacation i'm not not spending $22,000. Yeah. I'm not spending $22,000 on a vacation. I'll tell you that now. But with a family of four,

I mean, I'm okay with spending 5,000 on a vacation. Disney world is going to run you that. Rachel just took her family there. I mean, a lot of people taking the family there. I mean, I go, you've worked hard.

And then when y'all come back, I mean, I want you to sit down and talk about okay what can we do with this other 17k you know um with the new house that we just purchased do we need to do any upgrades can we put something into the house do some landscaping or do we just want to go ahead and put that into savings do we want to go ahead and just put more money into the 529 do we want to just wait and invest that here i don't know know. Right now, you've made some good decisions. I want you to enjoy a little bit of it.

If you need a new car, maybe you take 10 of that, you go buy a new car. The key thing here is sit down, dream, put it on a budget, make sure that you and your husband both agree with it. Don't ask your family. Let me tell you that right now. Don't ask your family what to do with the extra $22,000 because they're going to give you a lot of things to do with the extra money and it's going to include them in it

alright right no I agree so I mean right now just really enjoy a little bit of it and sit down and put a plan for the rest hey Ashley have you just been walking along the

sidewalk or walking out of the grocery store the last week or two and just smiled real big and thought, dude, we did it. Yeah. Every day since Saturday. Okay, so you're just absorbing this and feeling it because I don't want you to miss the

psychological part of the emotional and spiritual part of this. You've worked so hard. So hard. You're here, right? Right. Congratulations, man. Man.

Congratulations. You worked your tail off. You did it. Yeah. Like, what a win. What a cool win. You know, that's one thing, Dr. D, that kind of bothers me a little bit. I'm just going to be honest. I'm just going to be honest.

I'm just going to be honest here. We may come back and talk about this after the break. A lot of people get confused that all the Ramsey personnel, including Dave, we want you to eat rice and beans, beans and rice for the rest of your life. And that's not the case.

We want you to eat rice and beans, beans and rice so you can enjoy the rest of your life. Eat it for a season. Get the zealotants for a season, so you can enjoy the rest of your season. When we come back, I got something to say. I got something to say, because I want to talk about this. Okay, we'll be right back.

I got something to say. so before break we had an amazing phone call and she worked hard she paid off all of her debt. She sold her house, fully funded the emergency fund. Already took some of the money to invest into her kid's house.

I mean, the house, but her kid's future. Maxed out her Roths. Yeah, maxed out her 401ks and Roths and investments. And she had $22,000 to spend and she did not want to enjoy it because she was nervous and

or maybe scarred maybe scarred no she was nervous I'm gonna say she was nervous and I think this is a problem that we have to address address it because about two weeks ago maybe three weeks ago i bought a gucci bag it's thirty five hundred dollars i'll say right here in a shot i'll say it

it was three thousand five hundred dollars and for my income I didn't blink at all then I get online and I tell people I'm taking it back why'd you take it back? because I wanted to I didn't really like the bag I mean I didn't really like the bag and then two I was like I can use this money somewhere else

but it wasn't because I couldn't afford it one two and it wasn't because I didn't like it was hurting me no I have I have other dreams and why am I saying this it's because what we teach here at Ramsey Solutions is that we want you to be wealthy we want you to be generous we want you to travel with your family we want you to have the dream car we want you to have your dream house we want you to have the life that you desire to have but we do not want that life to have you and so what we

teach you is get out of debt have a fully funded emergency fund why do we want you to have a fully funded emergency fund before you go enjoy life because studies are showing that nearly 80 percent of people in america today can't even handle a $400 emergency. So if you have a fully three to six months of expenses set aside, you're already ahead of nearly 50, 60% of people in the world. So that's number one. Number two, when you get out of debt, you can wake up on the first of the month. When everyone else is stressing, when everyone else is stressing, but their paycheck is already spent before they got it. You're not stressing. Why? Because you're out of debt. So when you work hard to build that foundation, you work hard so you can stand on it and build something that you like.

Why do you work hard to build a foundation, but then you work hard to build something that you really don't enjoy on top of that? Why build a house on a something that you really don't enjoy on top of that. Why build a house on a foundation that you don't like? I don't want you to build a life that you do not enjoy. If you enjoy this, you go enjoy that. If you enjoy nice things, if you enjoy Louis Vuitton bags, if you enjoy four-wheeling, if you enjoy snowboarding, if you enjoy like Dave water skiing, like whatever you enjoy, that's the life we want you to have. We don't want you to make all this money and you can't enjoy some of it. We want you to be financially free. We want you to really be a giver. I love the fact that I'm one of the top givers in my church.

And I can't wait till one day, hopefully, I can become the number one giver in my church. That's my ultimate goal. But at the same time, if my wife down the road wants a Gucci bag, I'm going to buy her a Gucci bag. If my kids want to go to Israel one day, it's not if. I'm taking them to Israel. I'm going to enjoy it. Why? Because years ago I was gazelle intense. I ate

beans and rice. Now actually I didn't eat beans and rice. I ate tomatoes, rice, and hot dogs. That was my thing. I had French toast for breakfast, lunch, and dinner because you always got bread. You always have milk and you always have eggs in the house.

And so when I was getting out of debt, I did what I had to do so that today at 36 years old, I can do what I want to do. And so when I get married, I can do what we want to do. And so, America, no, I want to say this. Stop saying you're driving the Ramsey car. What's the Ramsey car? Dave doesn't want you driving a $2,000 car for the rest of your life. He wants you to have the car that you want. If you want a Rolls Royce, if you want a Bentley, as long as you do it the right way and you're

following the steps that we teach, you go buy it. But if you want a Honda, you go buy it. So when you take on the identity of a gazelle, and let's back up what a gazelle intense even means. A gazelle gets intense because a lion is going to kill it and eat it. Come on. And so the gazelle takes off running for its very life. It will jump over high fences. It will run across the savannah at breakneck lightning speeds to not die.

Yes. And it can't sprint forever. Can't. It's got to slow down. Yeah. Stop when it's safe. Yes. Get some water, eat, and then enjoy its community.

So how do you tell somebody to set down the identity of a gazelle once you get there and to then look around and say, I'm safe. Now I can enjoy my community. I can enjoy the grain here in this field. I can enjoy the cool water in the stream. You know, one thing you said, the gazelle slows down, but the gazelle never loses the mentality of a gazelle. Oh, it's always got its eyes open.

Always have its eyes open. So I'm always looking, okay, am I doing the right thing? Am I investing correctly? Is my emergency fund in the right place where it should be for the season of life that I'm in? But you know what, Anthony? You know what? Hey, go enjoy it. Go buy the car. You know what, Anthony? Go buy this.

Okay, cool. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. Am I doing this? So what you're doing is you're slowing down because you don't have to run for your life anymore. You still got to walk. You you still gotta jog a little bit because every single day we should be growing we should be improving uh but at the same time the mentality is always there because now my gazelle intense is about building wealth not about getting out of debt and building wealth is a long-term journey it's not a fast sprint, go hard journey. And so now I got I got to go slow.

I got to talk to Dave. I got to talk to my other mentors. How do I do this? Where do I go from here? You know, and one of the things when it comes to really building wealth is home buying. OK, and America, I want to ask you this question. Have you ever made a dumb decision with zeros at the end of it because you didn't know and you didn't do your research? Well, I know I have. Most people make choices based on feelings and opinions, especially when buying a home.

But when it comes to the real estate market, feelings aren't your friends. Facts are. And John has said that before. So check your facts. Find out what you can actually afford. Research what's trending in home prices. Talk to a reputable real estate agent in your area. Never buy a house without the facts again. Our team has created a one-stop shop for everything homebuyers need to know. Just visit DaveRamsey.com forward slash home buying and get the answers you need to make smart decisions. And I mean

that, you guys. Like this right here is gold. My real estate agent saved me so much money and put a lot of money in my pocket. I'm going to say her name. Amanda Lucas was my Ramsey ELP who helped me buy my house.

Brian Connor was mine. She walked alongside me in my craziness. What? And our weird thing we were looking for, and she kept plugging away. We were under contract multiple times. Wow. Multiple things fell through, and she stayed with us. She sat me down and said, hey, your expectations are out of line.

I'm a teacher. You're coming from Texas where the market's different. It's different here in Nashville. And she got the job done. She stuck with me month after month. And she crushed it. See, and I'm saying, because I didn't know this. We never had this conversation before, right?

Your real estate agent told you that, right? Your expectations are out of line, right? Yep. My real estate agent said the same thing. Your expectations are out of line, Anthony. I was like, man, this is what I do. He was like, and this is what I do. She's a teacher. You know, he was line, Anthony. I was like, man, this is what I do. He was like, and this is what I do. She's a teacher.

He was like, bro, listen, you want this, but your house is worth this. Let me do my job. You go help people get out of debt. Let me focus on selling your house. And he came back and sold my house for $30,000 more than what I thought my house was worth.

Would it take him 24 hours? It took him three hours to sell my house. Then we go and find my house that I'm about to move into, and he saves me $50,000 on a house. ELP, baby. I'm just saying ELP. You know, this is what we do, man. I get pumped about this message, and I need to calm down

because this is the Dave Ramsey show, not the Anthony O'Neal show. So, man, Dr. D has been fun in this hour, man. America, it has been fun. I want to thank our producer, James Childs, and our social producer, Kelly Daniel, and all the beautiful people behind this mirror. I see you all. Thank you all so much. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, producer of the Dave Ramsey Show.

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