The Ramsey Show - App - How Taylor Swift Saved Herself From a Massive Crypto Lawsuit (Hour 2)

Episode Date: April 20, 2023

Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Delony answer your questions and discuss: Taylor Swift was the only celebrity to walk away from an FTX endorsement deal, "My boyfriend is too attached to his parents and I'm getting bitter", "How can I prevent my mom's home foreclosure?" Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: https://bit.ly/3cEP4n6 Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods, moving, and storage studios, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Thank you for joining us, America. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today, author of the book Own Your Past and Change Your Future, a number one bestseller.

And we're here to answer your questions about your life and your money. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Well, John, the crypto gossip mill continues. Oh, thank goodness, man. Apparently now an attorney has gathered up clients who are seeking $5 billion in damages from FTX celebrity endorsers. In other words, a celebrity went on and told you to buy crypto from ftx which went bankrupt went belly up because uh the guy was running a ponzi scheme basically like we didn't know that about crypto but anyway tom brady his ex-wife giselle actor larry david shark tank star

kevin o'leary an nba legend shaquille o'neal five billion dollars i guess um matt damon's um thing of fortune favors the board that was a different that was a different company yeah that one didn't get he's not yeah i don't understand this suit i'd probably have to learn more about what moskowitz is trying to do i didn't know you could sue an endorser you can sue anybody for anything in hopes you can hassle them into giving you money, even if you're going to lose the lawsuit. Right. Because these companies don't, these people don't want to spend five years in court with

this ambulance chase chasing moron. And go through all their. And go through all their, everything that they've ever, every underwear drawer they've ever unpacked in discovery. Their socks and their shoes. They don't want to go through all of that that even though the guy hasn't got a chance of winning because endorsing something when you're a celebrity that you know nothing about has been done since time began they're not liable for the ftx crash so but hey that's absolute hogwash i mean i i'm not a fan of ftx i'm not a fan of crypto certainly not a fan of bankman fried

or freed whichever way you want to say it and uh fried is my preference and yeah but the uh in so many ways yeah uh but the whole thing is a scam but come on dude here's what's important tom brady might be stupid for endorsing it but he's not liable he's not a criminal yeah that's just dumb i think the important part of the story the most important thing that all of us need to put into our pocket and not forget is that when it came down to it only one celebrity said no. And it's James' favorite celebrity of all time, Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift asked FTX about the legality of what they were selling.

They offered her $100 million. She walked away from it. And she walked away. She thought it was a scam. You got to love it. I can just see her writing a song in her bedroom. She's writing her diary, and then she picks up the phone and she just says, hey, can you tell me that these are not unregistered securities?

And the FTX guys were like, we'll call you back. And then she went back to singing her song. This is according to the attorney who's doing the lawsuit. So, I'm not saying Taylor didn't turn down the endorsement because it was scummy. I cannot hear her saying, can you tell me these are not unregistered securities?

I'm calling absolute bull on that. That is not a phrase that would come out of Taylor Swift's mouth. I don't think you're a true Swifty, Dave. I think that's what we're hearing here. I am not a hater. I like Taylor. I mean, it's not a music thing, but I mean, she's a Nashville, originally came up here.

We all watched her grow her career. I'm not a hater. But I mean, you know, can you tell me this isn't illegal? Maybe. Would she say that? Maybe. Unless somebody put this phrase in her mouth and said, you need to ask them this.

Sure. But this guy's full of it she did not say that she did turn them down though to her credit yeah we'll give her big time stars for that 100 million bucks sponsorship for the tour uh walks before negotiations broke down last spring sources told the financial times with the ftx then billionaire ce, Bankman Fried, intimately involved in the talk. So he's sitting with Taylor. He's trying to get her to sign up.

He's trying to get Taylor to sign up here for $100 million. Of course, he was going to pay her in crypto. That's probably why. I'm kidding. Maybe not. But anyway, yeah. Hey, kudos to Taylor. James, I think you should be proud of your favorite singer, songwriter.

Yeah. Like she did good. When the of your favorite singer, songwriter. Yeah. Like, she did good. When the chips were down, she did good. Yeah. Well, I... Hey, honestly, because the other guys, I can't even accuse them of being sellouts. No. Like, I don't know that they just gave a, you know, that they just took money.

I think they actually believed in the crypto stupid stuff and actually thought it was a good idea to invest in the crypto stupid stuff. And so they said, yeah. I mean, like I don't think Shaq is a shill for any amount of money to sell anything. I really don't believe that about him. No, and you and I both, people come pitch us and say, hey, you want to advertise this product?

And I had a meeting today with somebody walking me through, here's what this looks like, and here's what we're about, and here you and i both people come pitch us and say hey you want to you want to advertise this product and i had a meeting today with somebody walking me through here's what this looks like and here's what we're about and here's what we do and we just say no yeah if we don't like it or if we like it but if i say yes if i wouldn't sell it if i wouldn't try to talk my own relative my best friend into doing it then i'm not going to tell you guys to do it that's right that's our rule at ramsey we don't't endorse stuff. But these guys, honestly, they probably bought some of this stuff. They probably told their friends, get in on this. It's a strange lawsuit, but. It's a bogus lawsuit. Once again, Taylor Swift.

I'm just saying. Top of the heap. Moskowitz. Adam Moskowitz. And he's out in the news. He's doing interviews. He's that kind of attorney. The kind of attorney, instead of having a case, he tries to try it in the court of public opinion.

Yeah, this is what's known as a glorified ambulance chaser right here. So companies, basically, if y'all don't know, most companies just cave. You sue them. They just go, oh, God, I don't want to be tied up in court. And people do, too. And you know who didn't do that the other day paltrow she took the fake ski accident guy all the way to court all the way to ground baby you know what he got embarrassed that's what he got embarrassed and now now they're

going after him for her attorney's fees of course i hope i hope they get them absolutely yeah because you know because he thought he could just bully a celebrity, and instead of going through the hassle that you bully the celebrity, they'll give you money even though you know you're wrong. And that guy, he knows. I didn't know much about it. I was just surprised that she showed up in court. When people out there in the think tank things and all that say,

we need tort reform, that's what they mean, is these bogus butt attorneys suing people that are in the spotlight and knowing that even though the lawsuit holds absolutely no water at all, zero basis to win, they think they can just do it enough that you're just going to write a check and occasionally run into one that won't. And that Paltrow took them all the way to ground. Good for her. Good for her. So that's how it's done. So yeah, that's, I'm sorry. We endorse stuff for a living. We are not, if the company that we endorse, unbeknownst to us, does something wrong, we

are not financially or legally liable we believe in it we don't endorse it we check it out we don't endorse it if we don't we we do our best we're not good we're not we're not shills and i don't think these guys are shills and i think this guy just he thinks he's going to hassle these celebs into giving him money five billion dollars i'm a big dog attorney no you're not you're a freaking ambulance chaser. I'll just say, Taylor Swift was right again. Yeah, there it is. Who knew?

Who knew? There it is. James knew. She's a futurist, a prophetess. This is The Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Virginia is with us.

Virginia is in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hi, Virginia. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, guys. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So, I'm heartbroken about acting not so nice to my boyfriend because I have resentful feelings about a situation with his family and I'm struggling with feeling guilty about feeling resentful. And then I'm, you know, kind of like saying things that are just not nice. And it's putting a strain on our relationship and it makes me just want to give up, but I don't want to give up,

but I love him so much, and that's why I'm calling. So what's the situation? So he supports his household, but his parents moved in with him a few years ago to help after a devastating divorce, and now we've been dating for over over a year and things are good, but, you know, kind of like they're going to be permanently there. And he feels obligated to continue supporting them because, you know, they kind of sold everything to go help them.

And I just don't know if we were talking about marriage and starting life together. I don't know if he'll ever really be able to let go of that and be focused on a household we would create together. You know, because he would maybe, let's say if he moved out, maybe charge them rent or something. But it wouldn't cover, you know, any of the expenses. So most, so about almost. Hold on, hold on. Let's stop talking about him. Okay. What kind of life do you want?

Let me tell you this before you answer it. It's okay to say I want to be married to somebody and nobody else lives in our house for a while. I want to fill in the blank.

Which, by the way, would be pretty normal yeah um I I what do you want I want that marriage picture where it's two people and it's even if it's a blended family that it's you know because that's what we both we both have kids you know that we'd be bringing into it and that's hard enough without everything else. And I really, we each don't by ourselves make a lot of money. And it's not about the money, but it's just if we were to combine forces, we could really get ahead and change our family tree. And it's just... So you know what you want. Exactly.

That's what I want. And I think he said he's willing to, you know, let's say, even if he lets them stay living there at his house, but it would still be kind of like he'd probably still have to support a lot, you know, because they can't really afford to pay him. Did you get hurt in your first marriage? Yes. You're not done there. And what you're trying to do is you're trying to get back out there, quote unquote. You found somebody, you like this guy,

you've started making plans and thinking about tomorrow, which you haven't done in a while. And your body is saying, hey, we've done this before and it almost got us killed. And the way you're trying to solve that angst and that fear is by controlling every future variable down the road. And what I want to tell you is you can't do that. You're going to make yourself nuts because you could marry somebody and two months in, it's, y'all have this nice small little house

and you're, and you are changing your family tree. And then his dad passes away and mom has to go, like life just happens or he gets hit by a but like this is life the difference between you dating right now is you know up front what you're what you're walking into and so you're gonna have to as scary as it is put yourself out there to get hurt again that's the only way relationships work you got to go all in or say, here's what I want. Here's what I need. And if you can't do that, if you're not interested in that, that's going to hurt like bloody hell. And that's what grief is. And then we're going to pick up,

pick it up and we're going to go figure out something else. You're trying to do it all. You can't, I can hear it in how you talk talk it's all just chaos in there right so with him comes a package you can't control the package he's got kids he's got parents in his house you can't control that and he's got values that say i do this and i do this and i do this and i'm going to do this it's in there too it's kind of obvious where this is going to go. So you're either going to sign up for that and be happy about it, or you're going to say, you know, that's not the picture I've got. I don't want to do that. Now, I want to be fair to him. Have you sat down and been very clear? I am not interested in moving forward in this relationship if this relationship is going to include X, Y, and Z.

I think that the details maybe haven't been ironed out where we got that far yet to talk about what it would actually look like if we were to try to start a home together. I think he kind of more says, don't worry about it, it'll all work out. Nope. And I'm wanting more. It won't. No, it won't worry about it. It'll all work out. Nope. And I'm wanting more.

It won't. Nope. Because his didn't work out. So I'm confused. They moved in with him to help him after the divorce, but now they're the ones that need help. That's, yeah, that's kind of like my issue is I feel like, well, they didn't, you know, they were fine before.

And I know they missed out on all that, you know, house boom and everything. Whereas if they kept their house, they could have had a lot of equity. And then they missed out on all that. So now they really don't have anything. So they did really give up everything to, you know, and they're probably just living on it. So the house that he's in, he owns, and they're living with him. Can you just give him that house? I think that would be beautiful.

And essentially, he probably, in effect, would be. No, I wouldn't do it in effect. I would just say you're on your own. You stand on your own two feet. You're like grown people now, and here's your house. Here's the house. I'm marrying her. I'm moving into her place.

And y'all got to figure it out because you're going to pay the bills over here right right and that's like that would be so great i just i i don't know it i mean that sounds like a good do they have jobs no they how old are these people about 75 okay and they have no money right they didn't move in with him to help him. They moved in with him because they were broke. I don't know about that. Well, I'm telling you, they didn't go from rich to broke while living in a free house. I think, yeah, maybe they worked before, but then they were able to retire when they moved in kind of thing.

And that's good. I'm glad they can do that. It's just that now I do struggle thinking, wait, like you said, wait, they didn't yell before, but now they're dependent on you. Here's the big picture. You are spending a lot of time in his head and in their head. Get out, get out of their heads. The rent's too expensive. Yeah. You've got to sit down and say, here's what I want. Here's what I need. And is that a picture you can go with? If you can't, then this hurts, but we can't do this. And it's going to be dreadful and heartbreaking if you get hurt again.

But better now than getting into this, because you're going to spend your whole life pissed. You're pissed off. Right. You're really angry. And I don't want to be that for the rest of my life. I know. I want to be sweet. know i know but you're looking at this and you're going this is cray cray and i can see cray cray a mile away and i don't want to

do it and it's making you angry i don't really i'm not saying i blame you but no i don't blame you at all you're working awfully hard to make anger sound sweet but and also you know this situation makes you angry and you keep going back into it. Yeah, so you're going to sit down with him and go, look, I've got to have some boundaries here with you and with your parents for me to be able to function in this. Otherwise, it doesn't feel right to me. I'm not going to be able to go forward. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, and you've got to heal from your old divorce. Yeah, big time.

And if you haven't sat down and – With a good counselor. Yeah, with a good counselor for sure, but you haven't sat down and... With a good counselor. Yeah, with a good counselor for sure. But you haven't sat down and written your old self a letter. Says, to you, I got hurt real bad. And just lay that stuff out there. Because your body's still trying to solve for it. Lay it out there and say, here's what I want moving forward.

And if this guy isn't that guy, then so be it. There's going to be somebody else out there. It's a mess. So thanks for calling, Virginia. What's the probability, John, that it's her woundedness, that he could be thinking real clearly that he's probably, that he could be thinking real clearly that he's going to have good boundaries with his parents.

But her woundedness has just got her freaked out about it. The possibility of being in a loss. I think she's so terrified that if I say exactly what I need, if I put my boundaries down, he might go. She's experienced that loss before, so she's willing to give up her integrity, who she wants to be.

She doesn't want to be an angry person. She said, I want to be a sweet person. She's giving all that up because she doesn't want to get left. This is The Ramsey Show. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage. Christopher and Kelly are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Hi, great.

How are you? Better than we deserve. Welcome. Where do you live? Just north of Orlando, Florida, in Leesburg. Yeah, fun. Welcome to Nashville. And how much debt have you guys paid off?

$459,000. Woo! How long did this take? Six and a half long years. phil and how much debt have you guys paid off four hundred and fifty nine thousand dollars how long did this take six and a half long years i love it and your range of income during that six and a half long years about a hundred thousand when we started and we're just over two hundred thousand now phenomenal what do y'all do for a living i own my own business doing what animal transport mostly dogs oh cool oh and i'm a senior risk manager for manager for a large entertainment company oh very good good for you oh i'm in orlando imagine that okay yeah yeah welcome to nash oh good good good good so 459,000 six and a half years that's your mortgage yes look at that way to go guys way to go you too

what's this house worth uh four hundred and ninety three thousand dollars very good and how much is in your retirement accounts three hundred thousand all right almost millionaires just close just this close okay so what started you guys on this ramsey stuff six and a half years ago? Well, it's our second marriage for both of us. But when we started our marriage together, we were still separate. So she had her money. I had mine. Their bills were paid separately. I did the mortgage.

She did the utilities. And we were happy for the most part in love. But it got to the point where in my previous marriage, there was still a contest over who would pay my ex's lawyer fees. And the court decided it was my responsibility to pay for those fees. And I said, don't agree with that. So they set a hearing. I blew off the hearing.

And two weeks later I was in jail for contempt. Well, so that was my, I had at moment sitting in jail for contempt. Well. So that was my I had it moment. Sitting in jail alone going, how did it go from being a naval officer and a pilot to this guy? I don't like this guy. And I was about to lose her because she had no idea that was going on. I didn't tell her.

Oh. Yeah. My mom actually gave us Financial Peace University or gave it to him and said, I think he needs some help with his finances. So here's the class. And when you're in jail, you've got time on your hands. Right. Seven luxurious days in jail. Oh, my God.

Nothing is better than that call, Kelly, home to your mom, like, hey, you know that guy I've been telling you about? He's in jail. Yeah, she was actually visiting at the time. Of course she was. Of course she was. Way to go christopher you go big man not the favorite son-in-law so uh yes man okay so that says a

i can't i can't keep things from her financially and b uh we need to get on the same page and c we got to straighten this whole mess up yes absolutely and we started in april of 2016 with your dvd fpu at a church and i was furious because like i got to work all day and now i got to drive to a church at six o'clock at night and watch a show about money and i'm already embarrassed you know i was already scared and i didn't like you when i first met you on your class because you kept pointing out how stupid i was and i wasn't like you when i first met you on your class because you kept pointing out how stupid i was and i wasn't feeling it was really it was really personal yeah every now and then kelly would be like go home with your ribs bruised from her elbow yeah yeah but i think it was the sixth lesson when you said you if you do this you might be that person that could pay somebody's

light bill without them knowing it yeah and when i heard that, I thought, wow, you know, I want to be that guy. I don't like being the broke guy. I want to be that guy. Because your whole life has been a life of service, right? Yeah. That's who you are. Yeah. But I wasn't paying attention.

Nothing I did was intentional. It was just reactionary. And I thought I could out-earn. I always made enough money. I can do this. I can win by making more money. And that's not true. You can't.

You've got to get rid of the stuff that's in your way. And now I know what peace really feels like. And so you knock out the other debts. You get the attorney's fees gone, obviously, or you wouldn't be here. And you get on the same page. And six and a half years later, your house is paid for, and you're almost millionaires.

Yes. Correct. Yes, we actually hired a lawyer neither one of us liked, but he did have the heart of a teacher, and he was like, you need to listen to me right now, because signing lifetime alimony,

what the heck were you thinking? So he kind of got another thud from him, because he was former Navy Jags. He's a Navy Jag, so I was a lieutenant in the Navy. He was a captain, and he was just, I was like, yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. How did you do this to yourself? I'm like, I don't know, sir. I just don't know. But, uh, but following your plan, uh, really did it. It really works. It's, it's a miserable baby step two when you owe that much money. baby step six felt like baby step two to me

yeah i really hated that mortgage but when i got the email that said we're sad to see you go i was like i'm not bye peace out no kelly i mean this had to be scary it was it really like you smile real big but like you hung in there oh Oh, yeah. What kept you in there? This is scary. Yeah, honestly, looking back on it now and the fact that there was this other person in his life. They had three children. They were in their 20s. But I'm looking at it going, okay, well, my marriage didn't work out. Now I'm with this guy and the love of my life. And I'm super excited

about our relationship starting out a couple years in this happens and I'm like oh my gosh and of course my parents are like run you know you don't need this you gotta go you know so I mean but I honestly when we you know I honestly prayed about it and I was like you know God if this is my my guy my man I'm standing by him no matter what and we got through this and I'm like we can get through absolutely anything amen I mean it's just it's been great well done awesome yeah very well done okay now when people ask and they say gosh you paid off your house you're almost baby steps millionaires you did it all in six and a half years and not to mention all the attorney stuff's off your back, all that stuff. What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? Really to follow the steps. I mean, if they're one through seven for a reason,

go start at the first one and work your way through. And it does get tough, but like you said, you can stop after baby step three and kind of pump the brakes a little bit, take a bit of a break, take a little vacation, support the win of getting through those first three steps and then just, you know, move on. We were in baby step three. We were getting ready to go on the cruise with you and we, you know, pandemic hit, but we had the emergency fund. We had everything in place and it was really, really a great blessing. I have the mother of all budgets on my computer. So we get paid weekly. And so I have a 52-week budget.

And when the pandemic hit, I just zeroed out both of our incomes and I went, we're good. We'll be all right. All we had was the house payment and a light bill and a cell phone bill. And I was like, yeah, we're going to be fine. So for us, it wasn't an event.

It was like you said an inconvenience but we were happy and for everybody listening whose spouse is really excited about the monthly budget meeting Christopher makes poor Kelly have a weekly budget meeting so count your blessings in case you didn't figure

it out she's the free spirit and when I turned the computer around she just said I can't no no i can't i just can't i can't go next month hit me up next month very cool next week yeah well done you too proud of you how's it feel to be a hundred percent free no payments of any kind it changes how i see things i i didn't know what to expect I thought it was going to be this weird euphoric something when I paid off the house. When we paid off the house together, we would just start floating or something, but nothing happened. And I thought, well, that's weird.

But Kelly pointed out, well, we planned to do it, so it's not a surprise. We said we actually were projected not to pay off our house until June of 2024. And we just pushed it harder and pushed it harder. And I wanted to shout out to our financial advisor, who's one of your recommended, Jeff Ackler, because he was my accountability person on the house. So I wish I didn't ask him to do that. I said, well, someone needs to call me on this house payment thing

because I'm going to want to do something else with the money because I'm the spender. And he said, okay. So he started calling me every month. How's it going? Whoa. I like this guy. Hey, good job. You too. Very well done. Hey, we've got the live and give bundle for you. The baby steps, millionaires book, the total money makeover book and the financial peace membership. Christopher and Kelly from Orlando, Florida. $459,000 paid off in six and a half years from $100,000 to $200,000 income. House and everything! Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream.

Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh, different get-out-of-jail-free card. This is The Ramsey Show. Guys, if you want to help us out here on the show, we would appreciate it.

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Look ahead out there with me 90 days. It's July. You got $1,000 in the bank. Two of your credit cards are paid off that aren't right now. No payments. You check out at the grocery paid off that aren't right now. No payments. You check out at the grocery store, you don't have a panic attack. How would all of that feel? Like the starting steps of financial peace, two words that don't go together like airline service. Yeah, some of you have never had that feeling in your entire life, but you can, for the

first time ever maybe, or maybe for a new time, get control of your money. Starts with Financial Peace University. It's our nine-week course. It's helped over 10 million people beat debt, build wealth, and become outrageously generous. The average graduate pays off $5,300 in debt and saves $2,700 in 90 days. That's an $8,000 change in 90 days. That's a good deal. Financial Peace University. Check it out. RamseySolutions.com slash FPU.

Adam's in Chicago. Hey, Adam. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Good afternoon. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So my mom is facing a foreclosure and is asking me to lend her $50,000 to stop this, and we do not have much time.

I'm looking to get a different perspective on how to proceed with this and what I should do. Wow. $50,000 she's behind on her payments? Yes. Let me give some context. How much is her monthly payment? Her monthly payment, I believe, is about $1,000. So she's not paid a payment in four years. She has a mortgage.

Didn't exactly sneak up on her, did it? No, it did not. It did not. Why has she not paid a payment in four years that thought this was going to work? She's been making a monthly payment on a HELOC with a balloon payment. It reached its maturity date, and then it was all due at once. Oh. She did not have the funds.

So she's not behind on her payment. She has a balloon on her HELOC. Yes. Oh, okay. That's not nearly as irresponsible, but close. Okay. Wow. All right.

So what's the house worth? House is worth around $300,000. And what is the first mortgage amount? I do not have that much information. I believe it's around $200,000 with this other HELOC at around $90,000 to $100,000. I thought you said it was $50,000 to pay it off. She's asking me to lend her 50 000 she will up put up uh 40 000 oh she has a 90 000 he lock yes that's that's called on a balloon yes and her first mortgage you think the 200 includes that so you think her first mortgage 110 that'd be about

right i i believe that's the scenario she hasn't shared all of the information or been transparent yeah well transparency kind of comes with that request for 50 grand i agree so um so uh can you give her 50 grand do you have 50 000 yes that000? Do you have $50,000? Yes, that's all that I have. Okay. So that's why it's $50,000. Yeah. How old is your mom? 39.

How old are you? 25. She had you when she was 14? No. You said 39 and 25. 44, my apologies. She's 44? Yes.

Oh, okay. All right. I'm just trying to catch up here because my math brain went nuts there for a second. How'd you get $50,000 at 25? That's impressive. Saving it. Okay. I work full time.

Do you have any idea how long this has all been going on with your mom? Yes. I believe last year is when she began to become aware of the situation. She has put it off and not made progress. Have they started the foreclosure proceeding? She went into forbearance, and that's where we are now. We are ending the forbearance. We aren't.

She is. Correct. You aren't in this. Correct. She's in forbearance, and forbearance just simply means she's paying payments so that they don't foreclose. So they've not started foreclosure. What state is she in?

Illinois. Illinois. And is she unable to get another home equity loan to pay this one off with a different bank? No. Why? She has no income currently. Okay. Why isn't she working?

That is a great question that I have also asked. Because here's what we're getting at. You hand her $50,000. She pays this thing down. And in 12 months, we're right in the exact same spot. We're not going to have a $90,000 balloon where she doesn't have a job. She doesn't have any way to keep paying the mortgage charity has.

There's a pattern here that's not sustainable for her in her life and uh the question is are we just giving a drunk a drink or are we really helping someone get sober for the last time and that's the question you always want to ask yourself and um i think you're giving a drunk a drink i don't hear anything in this pattern right now that indicates she's going to do anything. There's nothing in this pattern that is responsible. So if I were advising your mom and she came to me and told me her story, I would tell her to sell her house before it gets foreclosed on. It needs to go on the market this week with a good real estate agent. You can find one at ELPs, endorsed local providers,

people we endorse in your neighborhood that are high-octane, high-protein at RamseySolutions.com. You need to sell this. She needs to sell this house. She can't afford it. She doesn't work. She does not want to sell this house. She can't afford it. She doesn't work. She does not want to sell this house. It's a two-unit apartment, and she wants to live in one. I don't really care what she wants.

She's asking her child for $50,000. And no, you can't give her $50,000. Absolutely not. That is true. I will advise her to that. Ultimately, I've tried to talk with her, and she seems that she's going to take it all the way to the last day of this. And there's nothing you can do about that. We all have people that we love that do stupid things. And it hurts you to watch them do things that are hurtful to themselves. You cannot control her actions. And it is not your fault if she chooses to do that.

She has options. She has had options, like get a job. She's had options, like refinance this before her credit got bad while she had a job and get rid of this balloon. She had options, like not taking out the home equity loan in the first place. She has options now, like selling the house. All of these are much better options than going to your own son who's 25 years old and asking him for $50,000. Right.

So let me ask you this. Okay. You're not married, are you? No. Okay. Can you, I don't know if you can get your head around this, but if you were married and you had a little boy, and 25 years later, can you imagine asking your own little boy for $50,000 because you can't seem to get your crap together?

I can't even imagine doing that. I can't imagine doing that. I might ask Deloney for money, but I'm not asking one of my kids for money. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't either. I mean. There's something broken here, man. My son went to buy something the other day at Sonic, and he said,

and I couldn't allow it. It's not his job. It's my job to feed you. You're my son. Yeah, and it's not your job, honey. job to feed you you're my son yeah and it's not your job honey you're 25 years old you busted your not your job to and you busted your butt to have this money and it doesn't even fix the problem if you had 20 million dollars extra laying around and you wanted to give her 50 000 you want to give her 90 000 i'd say well we can talk about how to do that

but this is all you've got and there's just so much ethically and morally wrong with this whole conversation. Please don't do it. Please ask her to sell her house. That's what's good for her, too, by the way. This is The Ramsey Show. Hey, it's Dr. John Deloney. If you like what you heard in this episode and want to know more about getting started on the Ramsey Baby Steps, go to ramsaysolutions.com and click on the Get Started button. We'll help you figure out the best next step for you based on your specific situation.

That's ramsaysolutions.com and click Get Started.