The Ramsey Show - App - How to Combine Finances After My Wedding? (Hour 2)

Episode Date: December 22, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and a paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality, author of Redefining Anxiety, a best-selling book now, is our co-host today here on the air. He's answering your questions about life, emotional well-being, and crazy relatives at Christmas. And we're going to talk about your money and your life as well.

The phone number is 888-825-5225. Lindsay is with us in Amarillo, Texas. Hi, Lindsay. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Well, hey, y'all. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you. What's up?

Okay, I have a question slash marital debate that I'm going to ask you to help me with. I'll get out my whistle and my striped shirt. Okay, thank you. You might need it. My husband and I are on baby step two. We have paid off $47,000 this year. Wow. We found out recently.

I know, right? We kick a butt. But we found out recently we're expecting our first baby in April. Congratulations. Very excited. Thank you. So now we're in storm mode. We've been saving up.

Now it's time to start thinking about nursery stuff. And given that we're first-time parents, we have no idea kind of what to expect as far as how much this is going to cost to furnish a nursery. So my parents wanted to bless us, and they gifted us with $1,500 and said, this is for you to furnish a nursery with. Well, my husband is very much in the baby step two. We're going to save up and pay off debt mode. And he's like, that is just more room for our shovel. We need to pile it on baby step two. Let the baby sleep on the floor.

What kind of guy is this? I mean, he's very, he's logical. And I think his heart is in the right place. You know, he's like, I'm talking about long-term. What's best for our daughter is to pay off our debt as soon as we can. So we should be shopping Facebook marketplace Craigslist, like getting anything used or free or donated. We can, but I'm like, well, this was a gift.

And it's not out of our income. It was to bless us to help prepare for this baby. And so we're going back and forth. I'm like, what is okay to budget? How much money should we spend? i'll go ahead and throw the flag i'll go and throw the flag blow the whistle all right he he's uh he's out of bounds you win and the only the only reason is that the only reason is this that your parents bought furniture for your nursery. That's what they did. Now, are you going to take it back and get a refund and go buy used furniture so that you can put it on the debt snowball?

Well, that would be ludicrous. Yeah. And this is the same thing. Yeah. Because they did not give you a gift with no strings attached. They, in a sense, walked with you to the store and bought the nursery furniture. They just let you pick it out what it looks like. In this case, they're just letting you pick it out.

They didn't say, well, y'all do whatever you want. Do something nice for the baby. They said furniture in the freaking nursery. It was very specific. right yeah and so it would be dishonoring to the gift to do anything with it other than what they said now had they given you fifteen thousand dollars not fifteen hundred dollars i'd be having a discussion with your mother and your dad about that's a little nuts and we need permission to use some of this to get out of debt because it's a little over the top we don't even make

that kind of money okay but fifteen hundred dollars is not not going to change your life or the child's life one way or the other and these days that will buy you about 11 diapers so that's good don't do that to me, Dr. D. Do not tell me that. I'm just telling you. What is your household income? We make a combined income of about $100,000 a year. Yeah, okay. So this is 1.5% of your income.

Yeah. It's irrelevant. And for somebody who's gazelle intent, $1,500 can feel like a million bucks. And so accept it. You do. Accept it and live in it and love it. And by the way, you're not supposed to be paying on your debt snowball with a baby on the way anyway. You're supposed to be stopped, push pause, and piling up cash.

We put back probably $11,000 in savings right now. And so this money yeah but but now had your mom and dad been more vague about the verbiage around the gift we might have a different discussion but they were very precise it is as if they took you to the store and you picked it out and they wrote the check and then you're wanting to take it back and put it on and get a refund and put it on debt and buy used furniture at a garage sale. No, we're not doing that. That's just dishonoring to the gift.

Again, if the numbers were out of whack, I'd have a discussion with the giver and get asked to be released from the obligation. But, you know, that would just be out of whack. And now, Lindsey, you get one, one, look at him in the eyes, one, I told you so. And then after that, you've got to say, thank you for being a husband who's sticking to our convictions. No, I don't even think she gets one. She just said, just blame it on me. Just Dave said.

Dave said. All right. So you get one Dave. You get one Dave said. And then be grateful that you've got a husband that's committed to this plan long term. Because he's going to be a great provider. Oh, man. And not super ethical, but a good provider. I'm just kidding.

No, he's good. He's good. You're lucky, Lindsey. Good team. He's a good guy. And, you know, some of you parents, you guys need to think that to me, the ethics don't change, but the ratios make the discussion weirder. Like, I had a young couple one time that I was coaching 1,000 years ago, and their household income was $26,000 once they got married.

And two weeks after they got married, her dad shows up and hands them the keys to a $40,000 paid-for car. And they have $60,000 in student loan debt. Now, do they sell that car and pay off the student loan? Yeah. Yeah, you put them in a weird position right there. I do. I'm going to, but Dad's going to be pissed. Right.

And I told him, I said, you need to call your dad and tell him that this was silly. And he didn't even talk to him about it. He just shows up, the goob. There's manipulation control freak stuff in that, too. Well, he just wanted us to have a safe car. Yeah, bull. He wanted to show off. And if you're creating a nursery not for your baby but for the Instagram photo, that's a problem, right?

Ooh. When you set up, I see these nurseries that are lighting systems these fancy furniture and gizmos and contraptions that little baby for the first six to nine months will want one thing you real close to them food and food in a dry diaper and a bit well and whatever you spend on it they're gonna poop on it so just get ready exactly so and so anyway buy a nice set up a a nursery but don't go overboard well 1500 that's what i'm saying it's perfect 1500 that's perfect 15 000 i'm i'm calling i'm gonna throw the flag the other way on mom and dad right and go look that's out of line i know you're excited about the first grandbaby i was too uh but you know we had learned

boundaries with our grown kids and not go dropping grenades in their house i'll take it i'll take a plug and just roll it into the living room and see how this works out right just see how the in-laws act okay just see how yes and and papa dave has done screwed up something again. Seagull management. Swoop and poop. Swoop in and poop on stuff. America, anyone who wants to throw a $15,000 grenade my way, we will figure that out on the fly. You'll catch it.

I'm committed to figuring it out as we go. That's right. You can be bribed. I will figure that out. Speaking of ethics. I'll figure it out. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. You know what disappoints and angers me to no end?

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deloney the ramsey call of the day could be anything from an inspirational story of knocking out debt to tips on how to deal with loss of income or how to make decisions in this crazy world subscribe to ramsey call of the day on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or the Ramsey Network app. Or listen on your smart speaker by saying, play Ramsey Call of the Day. As a matter of fact, if your smart speaker heard me say that, he'd probably just start doing it. There you go. That's how that works. Blinds.com is our question of the day.

They have a 100% satisfaction guarantee. That means even if you mismeasure, you pick the wrong color, they will remake your window blinds for free. Free samples, free shipping. With the new promos they run all the time, always use the promo code Ramsey and you can get a good deal. All right. Today's question comes from Roger in Kentucky. Roger writes, my wife and I have been married 10 years and we have three children. I work as a federal law enforcement officer and my wife is a teacher assistant. We make about $110,000 combined and we own two houses, which one is a rental property.

The issue I have is my wife keeps failing her final year in college. And it's getting too expensive to keep letting her return. She's been attending college over the past eight years. I want to move for my career progression, but she doesn't want to leave. I could take a promotion in another state and make a hundred thousand dollars on my own. What should I do? I really wish my wife would find another job. I've explained to her if she was making more money, I could ease up on overtime and be home more. Dave, there's a lot here. Here's what I'll just call out immediately. If you've been in

college for eight years and you continue to fail your last year, your last semester, it's not because you're not smart enough. It's not because there isn't the academic support and help and assistance for you. There's something else at play here. Whether somebody is choosing or they are not intentionally but sabotaging themselves or this is the last shred of control this wife in this relationship has. But there's something bigger going on here than just simply i can't get past that last semester in college now of course depending on if you make it through three years of college they're going to help you out right you have the intellectual gray matter to make it through the last year you're correct so i'm calling bs that's right and so what i this sounds harsh when I say it this way, but if you choose not to get the assistance, the tutoring, the support – put it this way.

Colleges have an incentive to help you graduate because that helps them with their rankings. That helps them with a number of internal metrics. Failing eight years in a row in their last semester is not good for their reputation. It reflects bad on the college, right? So if you are choosing to not do the things you need to do to pass. Yeah, like go to class, do the homework, take the test, study for the test, that kind of stuff. Then you are choosing to fail.

Yeah. Either intentionally or subconsciously to not get all psychobabble. So there's something else going on here, Roger, that sounds like you and your wife are not on the same page. And this is the last shred of control she has in this house you want to think about tanking this deal that that's her holding on to what probably not intentionally because he he because he wants her to go to work and big time and instead of just being an assistant and make some money and she's afraid

of doing that so the way to avoid that is sabotage? Not that directly, but it might be I'm up with the kids late. I've got to get up super early. I don't feel good. Little Timmy was sick today, so I couldn't go to class. I wasn't able to go to tutoring for this exam. I had to miss this exam. So you create this ecosystem where you are unintentionally not intentional, right?

And you are not successful with your final goal. And he wants to move. He wants her to make more money. He wants her to get another job. And I don't hear a lot about what does she want to do? What role does she see herself? What does she envision herself playing in this family? And it sounds like Roger and his wife are not together.

They're not unified in this. Boy, yeah, that's for sure. Right. so what's the recommendation what do they do the recommendation is roger has some very clear goals for his wife i'm going to recommend that roger back out of the here's what you should be doing and here's what we could be doing if and he needs to sit down and ask his wife what do you want to do do you want to to be a stay at home mom? What's your perfect world look like in five years? There you go. And how do I help us get there? How do we get there together? Yeah. And he

might want to move. He might want to. She doesn't want to leave. Well, he needs to take that into consideration. They need to have a unified conversation here because they're running two separate lives. They're roommates here. So what do you think the probability is he wants her to fail secretly because it keeps his narrative going where he gets to move and take the other job? Well, it makes him the victim, right?

But he gets to throw out the – maybe he creates the ecosystem where she can't win, subconsciously or consciously i don't know so that this thing so that melts down and she has to give up and well we got to move and take my other job now it could and what you get is couples who get in this self-reinforcing dance i'm the victim i'm the victim i'm the winner i'm the strong one i'm the one keeping the house together i'm the one keeping the money together. I'm the one keeping the money together. And then you get stuck in these roles. Nobody wants to be in these situations. And that's when somebody's got to use your language.

Someone's got to throw the flag, stop the dance, turn the music off, get away, and say, what are we doing? Where are we going? I love you and want to see you successful. And I feel like you're sabotaging my desire to come home. Yeah, this is thick enough in this language. They probably need to sit down with a good marriage counselor. A hundred percent. Okay.

And have somebody, just have somebody call Tom out and go, you're in crazy cycle here. Stop the crazy. Just a minute. Stop dancing and just put it all on the table. Edrich calls it love and respect. He calls it the crazy cycle. That when someone doesn't get love, then they don't give respect. And when they don't give respect, they don't give love. And when they don't give respect, they don't give love.

And when they don't give love, they don't give respect. And male, female, you know, and around. And so begins the washing machine. Crazy cycle. Dave, people will live in that dance for a decade because they don't want to have one hard stop the music conversation. They just continue and continue and continue. Well, you're afraid if you stop the music, there might not be a chair. That's exactly right.

Musical chairs. Right. So somebody stop. The metaph might not be a chair. That's exactly right. Musical chairs. Right. So somebody stop. The metaphors are getting thick here, but yeah. Okay. Wow, that's very interesting. There's a lot between the lines there. A lot.

Atlanta is on the line. Nick is calling. Hi, Nick. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. How you doing, sir? Better than I deserve. What's up in your world?

So, long story short, I'm 27 years old. I'm a teacher, full-time teacher. I'm engaged and married this upcoming July with my fiance. Yay! Yeah, thank you. Yeah, super blessed. Super blessed, for sure. We recently bought a home together, and I guess I have kind of a two-part

question. I just wanted to get your opinion on if we are on the right path, doing things the right way financially, and then also any tips that you might have for a successful marriage in terms of combining finances, because like you talked about before in the show, I want to talk to people that have been in the game and been successful for not the quick fix, but the long term. So right now, just so you know, we're on baby step two. The only debt that we really have is my student loan. She doesn't have any student loan.

My student loan is about $7,500. What will be your household income when you do get married in July? $90,000. Excellent. Okay, good. Have you guys talked about stuff like the baby steps? You're obviously acquainted with them, is she? Yeah, I've talked about it with her.

I listen to you pretty much every day, and she definitely knows who you are. I'm definitely more knowledgeable about what your message is and what your steps are than she is, but she understands the philosophy and I'm trying to get her on the same page as that as well. Well, I think the conversation starts with just something like the people who win with money and when with relationships, I'm reading about this, honey, are in agreement on their plan. And so let's look at this plan together and see if we can both be in agreement and enthusiastic about this plan. If not, we need to make up our own that we're both in agreement and enthusiastic about.

Mine's not the only way to get there. I believe with the data that we have that it's the shortest path to wealth. But if you choose to go a different way, that's up to you. It's more important that you're in agreement than that you follow me. That's what's more important. And then secondly, if you want to do it the most efficient way, I would say ours is, but you can make that decision as adults. Okay. But yeah, let's get into agreement. Dr. John Deloney Ramsey personality is my co-host today here on the air. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Megan is with us in Tampa, Florida.

Hi, Megan. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. I see on my screen you're debt-free. Merry Christmas. Hey, Dave. Yeah, Merry Christmas. Thank you. How much did you pay off? $98, Merry Christmas. Thank you. How much did you pay off? $98,593. That's a lot of money, Megan. And how long did this take?

Five years. Wow. And your range of income? Started off at $48,230 and is now $51,441. Cool. Cool. What do you do for a living? I'm a speech and language pathologist at an elementary school very good so what kind of debt was your ninety nine thousand dollars i had a visa card through my bank i had a limited card a macy's card my car payment and student loans. So you're kind of normal. Yeah. Deeply in debt and broke. Yes.

How old are you? I'm 39. So what happened at 34 years old? I just lost track. I was living on my own. I just kept on spending my money um what woke you up not being able to pay my bills really and um overdraft from my checking account from my savings account and just um god really i mean you know he's the one who woke me up, too, and the debt. So just looking at the overdrafts and the no money scare you? Yes. So you're scared straight? Yes.

Love it. Me, too. Yep. Me, too. I don't ever want to go back. Nope, me either. Life is too freaking short. I remember one night, precisely, I could take you to the living room and the desk I was sitting at,

I can see it in my mind as clear as anything. I tried to balance the checkbook. Back in the old days, we used to reconcile a checkbook by hand. It was not on the computer, and it was certainly not on the Internet. There wasn't one. And when I balanced the checkbook i realized comparing it with the checks that the bank had sent me that i had forgot to post some of them and that i was four hundred dollars in overdraft and i remember sweat on my upper lip i remember

my heart racing i remember sweating the palms of my hands, and it was cold, cold sweat. I was so out of control and terrified, and I just said, I never want to be there again, ever. Right. I remember sitting at work at the end of the day with a coworker friend, and he would help me balance out my checkbook because I was awful at it. And it didn't work? Nope. Overdraft, overdraft, overdraft. So what'd you do? You hit the bottom, you got scared straight. Tell me what you did. What was the first thing you did? Well, I was attending a local church and I was talking to a friend at church one day telling her about my finances and she wanted to know if I heard about Dave Ramsey, Financial Peace. And I

said, no. So she was telling me more about it. And then she introduced me to Aaron Littles, who also him and his wife did their debt scream through you. I met Aaron Littles. He talked to me more about it, wanted to hear my story. and he offered to sponsor me to take the Financial Peace University at the church. Wow. It was a blessing. Wow. A big blessing.

I'll bet you'll do that for somebody someday, won't you? Yes. Yeah. Wow. Very cool. Five years is a long grind. What kept you going for five years? I didn't want to disappoint God.

I didn't want to disappoint Aaron, and I didn't want to disappoint myself, and I did not want to live paying other people back. So you just kept at it. That's 60 months. You just kept at it, kept at it, kept at it. Yes. You really got disgusted. Yes.

You got so disgusted it lasted five years three extra jobs on top of being a speech path that's already a job that takes a lot of patience and time what was your job what was your job i did my first uh side job was home health care so after my full-time job i went and saw clients in their home and and I did that for the five years. And then within the school district, we're offered what's called T-payroll. So we're able to sit in on staffing meetings, and I would get paid for that. And then another friend offered me a side job to work under her for doing brand ambassador where i went into grocery stores liquor stores and i handed out samples of wine and liquor for like 18 to possibly 25 dollars

an hour for three hours that's how you made it five years let's be honest it was the alcohol yeah so i did that off and on um that was you know sporadic here and there and then aaron he offered me two years ago he offered me to work on the side doing his recruiting company that he um built up so i would do that after work as well recruiting nurses via the phone this guy has made sure you won oh yeah he is amazing he's amazing what a great mentor really very proud of him very proud of you well done all right rock star you did this you're a hero i mean you bust through. You're by yourself. Three jobs. You lean in.

You keep at it. You keep scratching. You keep clawing. You're scrappy for five freaking years, and you pay off $99,000. You are an impressive young woman. Now you get to mentor somebody else like you've been mentored. There's a few people listening to this. One of them is just like you were.

Tell her how to do it. What's the key to getting out of debt? Getting mad, sitting down, getting an accountability partner, putting all your debts and monthly income on a budget, and just go at it. And if you can get a second job just go at it. And if you can get a second job, go for it. Sell stuff. Stop eating out.

Stop buying stuff that you really don't need. That's how you do it. You did a lot of sacrifice for five years. Was it worth it? It was. It was. What's your big goal? When you get done with this and you got a pile of money and you're a millionaire you're chris hogan everyday millionaire what's your big goal what

do you want to do with money to invest save give be healthy enjoy life there you go retire without any financial problems there you go well done i'm so so proud of you i know aaron is we are all we're all of us at ramsey or we love people like you you're an incredible hero you're out there doing it you're scratching and clawing and making it happen nobody handed you nothing you went and took it legally and morally took it well done hard work sacrifice discipline dirty words in america for some people today uh you didn't wait on washington to fix your life you just went and fixed it i'm so proud of you well done thank you we've got a copy of chris hogan's book for you everyday millionaires and that is the next chapter in your story, Megan, without a doubt. That is your next chapter.

You keep going. Now it's time to be intentional, not intense, and dial this thing up and make it happen. So very, very, very well done. All right, $99,000 counted off in five years, making 48 to 51 plus three jobs. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream three two one i'm debt-free yeah baby yeah hey i don't care how it's done I don't care how tough you think you are. A five-year grind.

That is gangster, dude. That's calluses, man. Man. That's calluses. This is not for the faint of heart. This is not for the wuss. You've got to be willing to step it up. That girl's a warrior, man.

She looked in the mirror for five years and said, I'm worth it. I'm worth it. You don't want her to draw down on you she's a warrior man she'd get her done wow and if not she's got a trunk full of alcohol samples she'll find a way megan will find a way good for her what a stud this is the dave ramsey show the Dave Ramsey Show. Merry Christmas! It's the most wonderful time of the year. I love Christmas. Are you still looking for great Christmas deals? Well, our famous $10 sale is not over. That means you can shop over 50 of our famous $10 sale is not over.

That means you can shop over 50 of our best-selling books and envelopes, only $10 or less. You can get the number one bestseller, The Total Money Makeover, Chris Hogan's number one bestseller, Everyday Millionaires for $10. You can get Dr. John Deloney's Redefining Anxiety for $10. And we extended our discount on the starter envelopes. You can still get yours for only $5. Stock up on books that will help you and, more importantly, help a bunch of people in your life. Yeah, so like $100 will get you $10. This is known as a good deal.

So stock up. Get ready for 2021. Time to reset. Time to get going again. Visit the online store at DaveRamsey.com backslash store and get these great deals. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Tiffany is in Washington, D.C. Hi, Tiffany.

How are you? Hey, Dave. Hey, Dr. D. Happy holidays to you guys. Merry Christmas to you. How can we help? Yeah, so I just want to say thank you. As of February this year, me and my husband, we eliminated $200,000 of debt.

Ding, ding. Number two. Wow. Look at you. Wow. I will say that your name was a bad word first initially because I found you, but he's slowly coming around to the base. He has no choice now.

So we finished baby step three, four, and five now. The question I have is we currently own our townhome, and this was pre-baby, and we're looking to buy a single-family home. We sat down, crunched the numbers, and said that it's going to take us about two years to save the 20% down on a home. Right now on our townhome, we have PMI. And the question is, do we take a portion of the 20% to pay down our current mortgage to eliminate the PMI and save the rest in cash? Or do we just save all of the money, the 20% in cash, or throw everything at the current mortgage, knowing that we're going to sell the home?

It doesn't matter. Either way, you're going to get your money back. What's going to cause you to have the most money the fastest? Probably paying it down and getting rid of the PMI, depending on how long you're going to stay there. But you're going to have to buy an appraisal to get rid of the PMI. Right. And I call the appraisal is just $380, right?

Yeah. The PMI that we pay monthly is $300. So I'm thinking if we're staying here for two years... Yeah, it makes sense to get rid of it if you can pay it down. You're exactly right. And then you're going to sell the townhome and make the move to the other place with money that you've saved up and the equity from the townhome. Right. And the new mortgage is going to be a 15-year fixed where the payment's no more than a fourth of your take-home pay. Exactly. Exactly. I just didn't know if it was better to have the cash on hand. Doesn't matter. So we're not dependent on selling the townhome. Yeah, they're going to give you the cash when you sell the townhome so it doesn't matter it's going to turn back into cash okay okay so either way we we do it it really doesn't matter i would throw it at the townhome as fast and as hard as i can uh if you

want to leave maybe an extra 10 000 or something out to the side for earnest money or something because you're probably going to do a contingency sale uh but in this market unless you're in some kind of weird niche market you shouldn't have any trouble flipping the townhome and getting the other deal closed right on time. You shouldn't have any trouble at all. So very well thought out. Very well done. $200,000.

Congrats. What a moment in history to pay off $200,000 February of 2020. Yeah, and then it happened. And then I could see a husband saying, I don't like it. I don't like it. All right, I'm in. I'm in, Tiffany. We are geniuses.

Yes, we are. Tiffany, you're lucky you married me. Denver, Colorado. Linda's on the line. Hi, Linda. How are you? Hi, Dave. I'm doing great.

Well, I'm not doing great, but I have a couple of questions for you. Okay. My mom is, we just moved her closer to me, and she's in a memory care center, and my brother and I were designated as her powers of attorney, and my brother passed Oh, I'm so sorry, Linda. Oh, my gosh. I'm so sad. What happened to your brother, honey? He had sclerosis of the liver. Okay. And how old is your mom?

My mom is 84. And how old are you? I am 59. Okay. All right. Well, his 403B will go to her. What I would tell you to do is just go to, you're in control of it because you're her power of attorney, so you can move it and do proper things with it.

She is the beneficiary on the 403B, so it pays out. And be in touch with that company and let them know that you're going to roll it to an inherited IRA. Okay. And there will be no taxes on it now, but there is a required withdrawal, one-tenth per year for 10 years of the balance. What's the balance on it? I think it's around $250,000. Okay. So go to DaveRamsey.com and click on SmartVestor,

and it'll drop down a list of the people we recommend in your area. We're not in the investment business, but we have a network of people that have the heart of a teacher, and they're going to gently and carefully walk you through this. They're not salespeople. They're teachers. Okay. And they're going to show you exactly walk you through this. They're not salespeople. They're teachers. Okay. And they're going to show you exactly what to do and how to do it,

and they'll help you pick out some mutual funds for your mom to roll this IRA into, and then it will have to begin to draw down one-tenth, and they can teach you all the details about that. It's a fairly simple transaction, but it has a lot of pieces of paper to it. Okay. And they can walk you through it where it's not overwhelming while you're dealing with all this stuff that you're dealing with. I mean, you've got mom in the memory center, and you've lost your brother. You don't need a bunch of stuff stacked on you, but you also

need to pay attention enough so you know what happened. Okay. Even in the midst of your stress and your grief. So click SmartVestor at DaveRamsey.com. It'll drop down a list of the SmartVestor pros in your area. You can contact one that you choose, talk to them. And here's the thing. I want you, when you sit with them, on behalf of your mom,

to have a good, listen to this word, a good feeling. Okay. That will give you peace that you're dealing with someone that you feel good about. Okay. Because you don't need to feel jerked around right now. Okay, yeah. And if you don't have a good feeling get up and walk out okay but you should because you should be dealing with someone who's understands empathizes with what you're going through and

wants to teach you so that later when you wake up six months from now you're like like what did i do again i forget you need to know what you did, okay? Okay. And they can help you walk through that. And Linda, was life with your brother pretty tough? Was what? Say that again? How was life with your brother? Were y'all close? Yes, we were. So this Christmas,

before Christmas, maybe Christmas Eve, I want you to spend some time by yourself, and I want you to put the money stuff aside, and I want you to spend some time by yourself. And I want you to put the money stuff aside. And I want you to write your brother a long letter and let him know how much you love him. And you may read that letter to your mom on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning. But don't make yourself too busy this holiday to not experience the loss of missing your brother. Okay?

Okay. You have a lot of duty and a lot of responsibility and it would be easy to walk past the emotion. Yeah. I'm sorry that you lost him. And it was kind of a surprise. Yeah. I hate that for you. Yeah, I'm so sorry. But that's the technical, tactical thing. You're going to roll it to an inherited IRA with a smart investor pro, and you're going to understand what you're doing, and you're going to have peace about it. Dave, taking this exact same situation, let's get another scenario where mom is on Medicaid. Does this mess up her Medicaid now with an inherited IRA?

Yeah. Okay. Medicaid is welfare. When you have $250,000, you don't need your Medicaid. You're off. That's right. Okay. Yeah.

It's a different scenario. I mean, welfare, you don't need welfare when you have $250,000. You have that kind of money. That's right. And there's nothing wrong with that, by the way. Absolutely not. It's a good thing. That puts this hour of the Dave Ramsey Show in the books.

Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for The Dave Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt-free scream live on the show, make sure you visit DaveRamsey.com slash show and register. We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.