The Ramsey Show - App - How To Get Back on Track With Your Budgeting (Hour 2)

Episode Date: July 4, 2022

Dave Ramsey & George Kamel discuss: Why it’s important to get a realtor, Getting on track with your budgeting, How to get on the same page about supporting a family member.

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. George Campbell, Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Open phones as we take calls about your building wealth, about doing work that you love, and about creating actual amazing relationships. The phone number is 888-825-5225. You jump in. We'll talk about your life and your money. Sergi is with us to start off this hour in New York.

Hi, Sergi. What's up? Hey, how are you, Dave? Great, man. How can I help? Got a question for you about selling the house. We've never done it before. We purchased the house.

Now we are looking to purchase another house, planning on. And obviously, a question came up to sell our house that we have right now. And when we go through realtor, there's 7%. We have to pay for selling our house. Uh, and since, you know, I'm starting to started to listen to the show and working on, uh, eliminating our own debt and we've done it. Uh, we finished the step two. Uh, so now we, I always constantly, me and my wife, we're always thinking about, you know, everything reasonably when we plan things and everything. So now we plan about this and there's 7% and it bugs me. I don't have peace in my heart to sell the house.

You ever had a toothache? Have you ever had a toothache? Yes, I did before, absolutely. Did you use pliers or a dentist? Dentist. Okay. There's some things you don't do yourself because you don't know what you're doing. You told me you didn't know what you're doing.

Right. Yeah. I've had friends. This is your most expensive asset. It's hundreds of, when you make a mistake selling a piece of real estate, it ain't $10, dude. I mean, when you make a mistake selling a piece of real estate, ain't ten dollars dude i mean when you make a mistake selling a piece of real estate it's tens of thousands of dollars and you're in a wackadoodle world right now for real estate it's cray cray out there this ain't amateur hour man you definitely

want a pro in your corner it's going to save you more than seven percent oh and by the way let me help you with this it's not seven percent it's three and a half because some duper realtor will bring you an offer if you'll agree to pay them for their buyer's portion of 3.5%, and you're only going to end up saving the seller's portion, which is 3.5%. And now we're really down into you're going to lose it. A monkey can sell a house right now, but will they sell it for the right price and without a bunch of errors that cost you tens of thousands of dollars? I wouldn't sell my own house right now, and I've had a real estate license since 1978.

You're going to make more, and you're going to have a lot less hassle, and, you know, I don't even work on my own cars anymore. I used to open the hood and get a 916 and adjust the... I could watch this on youtube and fix it myself well i mean there wasn't youtube then but i mean i could set the timing on the monte carlo 350 right i mean i i could do all that i open the hood now and it looks like a freaking spaceship under there i can't even touch that stuff i don't fix every time i try to fix my car now it costs me more than it would have cost me to have somebody fix my car because i break something. And that's what you're going to do, Sergi.

Don't do it. I've had a family member who did for sale by owner, and it was the worst nightmare. And I had tried to warn them to stay away from that. But there are such costly mistakes you make. You're not reaching the bigger market because realtors have access to the MLS. They take better photos. They understand strategy and staging and what is going to cause someone to pay more money. And so in the long run, you're going to make more on that purchase by going to a realtor.

Well, and here's the thing. Okay, let's pretend you get one of these houses that people are going bananas, okay, where you get like 60 offers or 40 offers or something. The seller, it's almost impossible emotionally for the seller to manage that process and, and glean through that and get the best possible deal and deal professionally with the other 39 who don't get the house. I mean, you've got to have some communication lines open. You have to have a process. Basically you're conducting a freaking auction in a lot of these situations and you've got to know how to manage that logistically. And what the law says about it you get yourself in a pinch man i wouldn't do it i mean you can do what you want

to do but i think you're getting a bargain at seven percent uh if you get a good real estate agent i mean you've got uncle charlie who got his license three weeks ago and he wants you to do it because he's family no charlie's dumb as you are don't do it that you know he doesn't know what he's doing either no you get a high octane high quality real estate agent that knows what they're doing does a couple hundred transactions a year when they step in i mean you're not you're never gonna feel the tooth when it comes out that's true and everyone who's worked with one of those amazing realtors goes that was worth every single penny i paid them and i don't have to get a good one you get a bad one it's like anything else but i mean and it's the same thing i mean i don't i don't i don't do my own taxes i don't do

i don't write my own will i don't work on my own car and i don't pull my own teeth you know it's it's there's some things and you got all your teeth that tells me you've done well this was working out but the the diy thing um i mean there's some things you feel that way about and you're wrong and this is one of them it's the actual normal market data and i can't really talk about it in this market but the normal market data is that a realtor sold house with a high quality real estate agent will sell for more than seven percent more than the non-real estate agent sold house that's normal in this world who the crud knows i mean because you don't even know what they're going to sell for an asking price is now suggesting starting point you know it doesn't even mean anything anymore asking price used to be

suggested starting point i'm going to offer less you offer less you're not getting the house you forget it now in most of these markets that's where we are and you're relying on a sign in the house you forget it now in most of these markets that's where we are and you're relying on a sign in the yard and then uploading to whatever site will allow you to upload your iphone photos that were crappily taken and so when you work with a realtor they know the professional photographers they understand how to stage it they understand how to market it well they understand every strategy around contingencies and this is the kind of market we're in you're hiring a marketing professional for seven percent i mean and if you were doing something else that was a seven hundred thousand dollar transaction and it was a complicated transaction you wouldn't think anything about paying the attorney that did the transaction or whoever whatever is you it's part of the process

and a complicated thing. And I just highly recommend it. All the data that's out there in a normal market says that they're worth it. In this market, they're probably more than worth it. And those of you thinking about buying a house, same deal. Get you a good buyer's agent. Because, I mean, if you go on RamseySolutions.com and click on ELP for real estate, endorsed local provider, Ramsey Trusted Real Estate Agents that we trust, they're all high octane.

We've vetted all of them. We know what they know what they're doing. And if you're going to buy a house in this world, you've got to get some advice. You've got to have somebody go, no, those people have gone crazy. Walk away from that deal. That's a bad deal. Yeah, you get too emotional when it's just you. Yeah.

And you get bought in on this one house, and you start to make stupid decisions. Yeah. A good agent makes all the difference. And when you're dealing, you know, man, it's definitely not amateur hour right now. I would feel better about you being a Fizbo, and I think you'd have less damage in a normal world. But right now, good gracious, absolutely absolutely not this is the ramsey show I just saw a study that really made me sad. It showed that families owning life insurance in the U.S. was at its lowest point since the 1970s. After what we've been through the past few years, I'm just

lost on how people don't make this more of a priority. How are you going to make sure your family needs are met if something happens to you? This is why getting term life is an absolute necessity. Rates have never been cheaper and the whole process to apply is pretty simple with many companies not even requiring an exam anymore. This is why I send you to Zander Insurance and I have for almost 25 years. They'll make sure you get the right protection at the lowest cost possible and they're there for you and your family every day. I challenge all of you to make sure your families are protected. It needs to be a top priority.

Call Zander at 800-356-4282 or visit zander.com. That's 800-356-4282 or zander.com. George Campbell Ramsey personality is my co-host today thank you for joining us America a lot of people uh hate the idea of looking at insurance with our new five-day guide to insurance George Campbell will lead you to have confidence in your coverage. It makes learning about insurance quick, practical, fun, funny, laugh out loud. You're going to have a good time. Every day for five days, Ramsey Personality, George Campbell, sitting next to me, will walk you through a new insurance topic,

unpacking everything you need to know to get the right coverage for you. Go to ramseysolutions.com slash confidence and and sign up and you'll get confidence in your coverage a five-day free video set of videos to show you all about insurance george this is working a lot of people watch this i think they're just hoping for a laugh and they might learn about insurance along the way and that was the goal if we can put laugh out loud and insurance together that would make history these don't usually go in the same sentence solomon is with us in arizona hi solomon how are you good thanks dave for taking my call sure what's up um so i was calling i'm in a baby step two i have about 32 well me and my wife have about 32, well, me and my wife have about 32,000 in baby step two household income. We have about 80 to 82,000. But my question is about our house situation. So my wife bought her house that we

live in about seven years ago. She was in dire need and she got into a rent-to-own situation and we pay $675 a month. $180 goes towards the principal of the house. The $495 is considered rent. So what I'm wondering is they said we could pay it off. We could have more or whatever we can pay it off and go through like a single bank or do we just write it out as it is okay what is the what is the payoff on the contract now? Last I checked, which was a couple years ago, it was $53,000.

What's the house worth? Probably, as it fits, probably close to $100,000. Okay. What's your household income? It needs some work done. $80,000 to $82,000. Okay. Yeah, I'd run down to the credit union and just get a uh fifty thousand dollar loan

and put the house into your name um the reason is a you're going to lose all this equity if you lose this deal and uh so the never do rent to own never do a land contract or contract for deed which is what this is okay the reason is the house is not in your name. If the current owner gets in trouble, you lose everything, and there's nothing you can do about it. So let's say he was in a car wreck and got sued for $500,000 for wrongful death. It goes as a lien against his property. This property is not in your name. It's in his name.

All right. I don't know if lose all the actual owner i think it goes i think a company the company that we pay to i think they buy these houses if that company gets in trouble and has a lien put on this house you would lose the house the point is you are paying payments as if you own it you're acting like you've got fifty thousand dollars worth of equity and the house is not in your name right right you don you own it. You're acting like you've got $50,000 worth of equity, and the house is not in your name. Right, right. You don't own it. Very dangerous.

Now, as far as, like, I, like, even though I'm in, you know, Baby Step 2, my credit, I have pretty good credit as far as the store. My wife doesn't. She doesn't have any debt or anything other than debt the point is you're going to go down to a local credit union anyway right and they're going to look at the whole situation they're going to look at the fact that you're buying this house at 50 cents on the dollar because it's a rent to own right you're buying it for 50 000 they're going to get a 50 000 loan on a hundred thousand dollar property that's pretty safe for them okay Okay. And they look at an $80,000 income to pay a tiny

little loan like this. I mean, some people make an $80,000 by $50,000 cars. I don't recommend that. Yeah, I don't recommend that. I don't recommend that, but my point is that your income

is very large for this deal. Wonderfully large wonderfully large okay and there's a fifty thousand dollars worth of equity protecting them so the credit union will make this loan okay yeah you guys know you need to go get this house in your name even if you don't keep the house even if you turn around sell it right because you're gonna you're you're in a very precarious and dangerous situation with the property not being in your name. Now, we normally don't recommend you buy a house while you're in Baby Step 2, while you're in debt.

But in effect here, you've already bought a house. You've just done it poorly. In a sense, we're refinancing, in a sense here. Yeah, and I'm seeing a lot of these pop up nowadays with the way the real estate market's been. There's a lot of slick online companies that are saying, hey, it's basically a rent-to-own scenario so that you can get into this house sooner because you don't have any money. Never do that.

So I want to steer people away from those. I've been getting messages going, hey, is this a good idea? No. Don't do it. Quick answer. No. Save up a down payment. Do it the right way.

No to the capital no. Yeah. Don't do it. Katie's in San Francisco. Hi, Katie. How are you? Hi. Good to be here. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. Katie's in San Francisco. Hi, Katie. How are you? Hi. Good to be here.

Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So I followed you pretty closely after I graduated college, and I ended up paying off all of my student loans. Way to go. Thank you. I have a credit card, but no credit card debt. And I just feel like now I've gotten this, like, quote, big girl job, and I've just had a hard time.

I feel like I've hit a plateau after paying off my debt of not being able to I've saved up a thousand dollar emergency fund but like I'll end up spending it and I just feel like I've hit a plateau where I just can't save any money and I feel like I'm spending all my money and I just can't like get to the next step why why hello why oh why um I'm not budgeting it's hard i guess i um you're more money than you've ever had in your life and you're broke i know i'm very what are you spending your money on katie where are the money leaks happening i mean you know in san francisco i'm going out to eat um

experiences traveling could you go in instead? Could you have some friends over? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, let's get creative and let's see what that does for a month. See how much money you have left over and how it makes you feel. So Katie, you're trading short-term thrills for your future. Yes, and it's scary because I'm living paycheck to paycheck, and I don't want to do that. Yeah, and you realize that, and so now you have to decide. Each time you get ready to go out to eat or go on a trip, you have to go, I just gave away a piece of my future, and I just brought stress into my life. So is the joy of going out to the club tonight with the girls,

is that joy, is that equal to or greater than the amount of anxiety i'm going to feel when i wake up with a financial hangover tomorrow no that's why you're calling it's why you're calling and so but my point is is you've got to put that into a day by day basis and quit doing some of this stuff that you know you shouldn't be doing yeah i guess i i know i can do it because i work so hard to pay off over like $10,000 in debt, and then I just lost all kind of, I don't know. I was like on a, I was motivated. You got a great income for the first time.

You're making more money than you've ever made in your life. And so, you know, it's like you got lottery-itis, like you hit the lottery or something. Right. Katie, here's what I'll do to help you build that muscle. I'm going to gift you Financial Peace University, and I want you to do two very specific things. Watch Lesson 1, which is on budgeting and Baby Step 1 with Rachel, and watch Lesson 5 with Dr. John Deloney and I on wise spending.

I think those two things combined will give you some tools in your tool belt to go, all right, I'm going to walk through the framework, I'm going to walk through this process, I'm going to commit to the plan plan and just do it for a month. And if you do that and you hate it, you can go back to the way you were living. But I think you're going to feel that sense of relief and you go, I'm in control. I'm confident in my money decisions. I can do this.

You've got to ask yourself, how old are you? I'm 24. So you've got to ask yourself, with the 34-year-old Katie, is she happy with what you just did? She's going to be pissed. Right. You-year-old Katie, is she happy with what you just did? Totally. She's going to be pissed. Right. You're so lame.

That's what she's saying. You're so lame. You're not fun. You used to be fun. I don't want to keep living paycheck to paycheck. And I know that this method works because I feel like I got with gazelle-like intensity to that step. And now I want to continue going. And I'm going to be real harsh now are you ready

yeah I'm ready you need some new friends okay all your friends do is what you're doing you don't have anybody in your life that's like a grown up all you got is party girls in your life you need some new friends this is the Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. George Campbell Ramsey personality is my co-host today.

Rebecca is with us in Lafayette, Indiana. And she says on our screen here that she's debt-free. Congratulations, Rebecca. Thank you so much, Dave. It's good to talk to you. You too. So do you guys call it Lafayette or Lafayette? Lafayette. Okay. I figured. That's why I said it. All right. Tell me about your debt. How much did you pay off? Well, when I started doing your plan, I paid off $36,000 in two years, but the total was actually

$40,000. Okay. And what do you make? What's been your range of income during that two years? Range of income has been $22,000 starting two years ago, and then now I'm making $50,000. Good for you. Nice job doubling your income. What do you do for a living? Income has been $22,000 starting two years ago, and then now I'm making $50,000. Good for you. Nice job doubling your income. What do you do for a living? So I started off working at a bank, which is $12 an hour, so that's the $22,000. And now I'm a web developer, so total pivot.

Yeah. Nice. Way to go. Way to go. Translation, bankers starve to death. Isn't that weird? I love it. Curious. Well, again, I was giving loans out to people, and now I'm glad that I'm out of that business

because I don't think I could in good conscience give out loans. I hear you. What kind of debt was your $36,000? It was $4,000 in credit card loans, and the rest was in student loans. Okay. So what was your wake-up call? What happened two years ago that got you on this boat? So I had a couple of friends who have been great in

accountability and introduced me to you. I thought that your ideas were crazy. They are. And I very reluctantly got on the debt-free plan, but I actually didn't have my I've had it moment until last year. And so I started doing the plan, started cutting down my income and putting the rest towards the loans. But then as I was living off of basically $16,000 a year and the rest was going towards my loans, I was watching my family and my parents who had car loans and two timeshares and they're kind of living and rolling in this debt. And here I was trying to pay off my debt, and they were complaining, saying,

oh, we don't have money for things, and we're having trouble with our finances. And I looked at them, and I said, well, it's because you have debt. And they thought I was crazy. You became one of those people, didn't you? They said that that's a part of your life and that you just need to let it live with you. And I said they were crazy. And so that's when I had my I've had it moment because I realized I didn't want to be like my parents. Yeah, all of a sudden these debt-free ideas aren't weird.

They're yours. Yeah. So proud of you. That's awesome. Very cool. Rebecca, what was the training like to become a developer for you? A lot of breaking sites. I've learned a lot of code along the way. And so I didn't, my degree actually was not in web development. And so it's been a long journey with paying for a degree I'm not using and then now learning coding. And so right now I'm just basically using HTML and CSS,

but I'm hoping that in the future I can learn a lot more because I love the field I'm in. That's awesome. It's been really good. Good for you. Good track for you. Very, very good. Very cool.

So now you did it. You got rid of all the debt. How does it feel? Yes. How does it feel? It feels amazing. I cannot believe the relief that I feel when I wake up in the morning and I realize that I can make plans with my money and I'm able to look into the future and make goals and priorities. And it's just, it's an amazing

feeling. Wow. How old are you? I'm 26. Good for you. That's incredible. Well done. Very well done. So when people say this now, people like your parents, they go, okay, you pay off $36,000 worth of debt. You started out making $22,000. Now you're making $50,000. How do you do that? What are the keys to getting out of debt?

What do you tell them? I tell them that it's really good to have a good support network. And even though my parents weren't there for me and think I'm crazy, I did have a couple of friends who were with me every step of the way. And so it's good to look for a community of people. And I'd also say that keep getting back on the horse. There were so many times I failed and so many times I went over my budget with my fund money budget and I had to cut that down and cut that down. And it got so discouraging not being

able to go out to eat and having to turn down friends and family members because i didn't have enough gas and i just want to say it's worth it it's worth it getting back on the horse over and over and over because now i can stand here and i can live my life being completely free of debt and it's amazing all right way to go kiddo proud of you hero well done touchdown hey we got a copy of baby steps millionaires for you uh how ordinary people build extraordinary wealth how you can too that's the next chapter in your story for sure you are on your way you're going to be making 102 years because you're going to keep learning this code and uh and and of course you're going to have no debt.

You're on your way to being a millionaire. Way to go. Also got a copy of the Total Money Makeover for you to give away to someone, and that'll help them get on the road, too, because they'll be inspired by your story. And we're going to give you a one-year subscription to Financial Peace University. I want you to go through the whole class and make sure you learn everything about money because you're going to be having a whole bunch of it around you and you need to be handling it well we're going to show you how to do every every bit of that so rebecca thank you so

much well done all right rebecca from indiana 36 000 paid off in two years making 22 to 50 count it down let's hear a debt-free scream three two one way to go kiddo pretty cool way to go our question of the day comes from blinds.com they have a satisfaction guarantee that means even if you mismeasure, you pick the wrong color, they'll remake your blinds for free. Free samples, free shipping, new promos all the time. You save money all the time. Use the promo code Ramsey when you go to Blinds.com. Today's question comes from Justin in Arizona.

My wife and I are in our 50s, and our combined income is $145,000. We own a rental property free and clear that's worth $600,000 and generates $1,900 a month. Our primary residence is worth $1.1 million, and we currently owe $268,000 on it. We have no other debt. We have $45,000 in cash and savings, and I have $60,000 in retirement funds. My father recently passed away, and I will soon be receiving his $1 million life insurance benefit. I was going to immediately pay off our mortgage, but what should I do with the remaining $732,000? Should I invest all of it and draw a decent amount each year without touching the principal?

I'm devastated by the loss of my father and don't want to do the wrong thing with this gift. Sorry to hear about your father, Justin. That's really tough. But what a legacy he left by taking care of his finances and helping bless you guys to catapult your financial journey. Yeah. So $1 million life insurance benefit. They owe $268 on their primary residence. They have a rental property free and clear. This is a good spot to be in.

So I absolutely would pay off the mortgage today. And he's asking what to do with the remaining money. And if you guys don't have any other things you need to be doing, upgrading cars or house renovations, I absolutely would invest it. I also would give a gift to some ministry that in honor of your dad. And so I picked some, it doesn't have to be, you decide the amount some it doesn't have to be you decide the amount it doesn't have to be a huge amount but uh giving enjoying some of the money and investing the money uh always you always want to be looking at all three things at all times have some balance people who don't do one of those leave and live an incomplete life you don't you're not generous or you don't enjoy it or you never

invest it. In any of those cases, you're going to leave something out here in your life. You've got a flat tire. So yeah, exactly. You're not, it's not a well-rounded situation. So yeah, I'm with yours. Let's pay off the mortgage and then sit down with SmartVestor Pro, put some money in mutual funds. I would allocate, you know, I don't know, 20, 50,000 bucks allocate you know i don't know 20 50 000 bucks you know do some kind of wild travel thing you've always wanted to do or that classic car you always wanted or something i'd spend some of it doesn't have to be a lot but a little bit enjoy the money and then i'd take another another little chunk of money i don't know, 15, 20, 30, $50,000, whatever, something like that. And I'd find something to celebrate the life of your dad with a donation to some wonderful ministry that does

something that was close to him or that represented him. So always giving, always enjoying, always investing, and always debt-free. And these are the things we're always going to lead you into that realm. So good stuff, Justin. Again, sorry for the loss of your dad. But as George said, what a wonderful legacy. This is the Ramsey Show. Thank you. George Campbell Ramsey personality is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Jeanette is in Savannah, Georgia.

Hi, Jeanette. How are you? Hi, I'm good. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So, my husband and I, I'm kind of caught between my husband and my grandmother, and I love them both so much, and I want to love them well, and I'm hoping you can give me some advice. We've been married for about a year. We're debt-free except for our mortgage.

Our household income is about $90,000 a year. We both work a billion hours of overtime, and I've been financially supporting my grandparents since before we got married, and we agreed that I'd continue to do that for them because they're on a very fixed income, And that comes out to about $700 a month that I helped to pay their rent. When my grandfather passed away very suddenly in June of last year, her income, of course, took a big hit because now there's just her Social Security. The plan was that when the lease is up in July, that she would move in with us to save money,

and she's in the process of selling a piece of commercial property that's her only asset, and we were going to use that money to buy her a permanent house that she can live in with no payment. Well, she told me yesterday that she's just not emotionally ready to move. It hurts too much even for her to look at my grandfather's things, much less pack them up and come stay with us with nothing in her hand but a suitcase. And she wants me to extend the lease for her. My husband wants what's best for all of us,

financially especially, because we're expecting our first baby in July as well. And he's pretty adamant that giving money to a rental company is a waste when she can live with us or, you know, just temporarily. And I'm kind of, he's correct 100% mathematically. But then I've also got the emotional side of the equation from her, and I'm desperately looking for a third option. Do you think that I should extend the lease for her

or try to convince her to stay with us or maybe just extend the lease for a few months to give the property time to sell? I just don't know what would be the wise decision here. I'm sorry. That's a hard place to be. It sure is. How old is she? She's in her mid-70s.

How long has she lived in this rental? About two years. She still lived there with me before I got married and moved out, and they continued to live there after I got married. Does she attend a local church? She does. She is very active in her local church, and she has friends to support her and everything.

But they were married for yeah you know over 30 years i can't imagine yeah what she's going through and my heart's broken for her but at the same time i i want all of us to be okay well um i'm it's just sad uh the thing is is her staying in this house for a few more months is not going to mean her heart is not broken right her 30-year best friend is gone her heart's just broken and she's confusing that that this house location which isn't a human thing, by the way. There's nothing wrong. She's not doing anything wrong. But the truth is that she's going to deal with the grief of this situation in a location and a rental house she's been in for two years doesn't enter into the emotional part of it. It's just she's wishing that this wasn't the story.

And I can put my hands over my ears and go, la, la, la, la, la, this story is not happening if I can just stay in this house. And so it's kind of a form of denial, if you will, I think. Do you think I'm wrong? No, I think you're right. I think she's just having a really hard time. I would have a little more,

I would agree with her a little bit more if she'd lived in this house for 30 years. You know? But it's been there two years. And so to associate that with him being gone is not as logical. Does that make sense? Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. And I get that she's hurting.

I don't want to diminish that and i don't think the way you've presented this that your husband is diminishing that i think he's just going look we've all got to deal with this and it's just there's no good ending to this story because pop you know grandpa's just gone i mean and he's just gone to heaven and so you know it's just gonna hurt whatever we do is gonna hurt and so um and how long ago did he pass again um almost a year in june last year it feels like on top of the you know on top of the emotions he's looking at the facts going, well, she's broke. And so without you, she doesn't have any options.

And so at that point, I go, okay, she lives with us for a little bit, and then we sell this commercial property. She processes through the grief as much as she can, and maybe you can give her some tools to do that. But either way, she's going to have to get out of this thing because you can't fund her life forever you know i think that you're on you know you've got a good plan overall um and um while i i my heart breaks for your your grandma i think your husband's probably right not from a math standpoint but even from just loving your grandmother well standpoint because she just needs some people to grieve with and you being there for and a new baby in the house and all that kind of stuff it's it's a that's a good place for her to kind of heal and spend time with you know and living in this rental

house with the past all around her just isolated is not that doesn't facilitate her going through the hurt and the pain of this it doesn't facilitate her going through the hurt and the pain of this it doesn't facilitate her going through the grieving process so i'm probably the reason i ask about the church is if she respects her pastor i'd probably you know the two of you sit are the you and your husband and grandma sit down with pastor and let pastor you know kind of be the spiritual guide and maybe he even takes some of the lumps instead of your husband taking them because maybe he suggests that she go ahead and get out of there and get moved because i think that's what's best for her not you know it also happens to be what's best for y'all

but i think it's what's best for her because her reasoning for staying there is to say, I'm going to pretend like this didn't happen. I want to live in the past a little while longer. That's going to make me not hurt and not walk through the process of the grief here. And I want her to, Dr. Deloney always says, grief demands a witness. And so when she's got you and your husband and the new baby and she's's right there. And, you know, she's not lonely. She's not sitting there in that rental house by herself watching some stupid television thing, you know. You know what I'm saying?

I think it's just best for her. Okay. And I know that you're right. I know that he's right. It's just so hard for me to watch her cry, you know. Well, my point is she's really not crying about a rental house. Yeah. She's really crying because Grandpa's gone.

Yeah. And that's okay. She's supposed to cry. I mean, I've been married 40 years. We plan on me dying before Sharon because I won't do well without her. It's part of the estate plan. I pre-decease her. I mean, it's just the way we've arranged it.

As long as there's no more details about how that's going to go down. Then it gets scary. Go Sharon, plan it over there. Don't ask about Sharon's plans, okay? But, yeah. Well, Jeanette, I'd love to send you a copy of John Deloney's new book on your past, change your future. I'm hoping it gives you some tools, maybe some tools for grandma. Maybe you guys can go through it together.

I don't know what that looks like for you, but we'll have Kelly pick up and send you guys a copy because I think that can there and you're all praying and her crying through this decision is probably going to help her. And I don't want the end of this story to be your husband ends up being the bad guy to grandma or to you, either one, because he's not. And you did not describe him as belligerent or greedy or this is not about money. And in just thinking it through with you here on the air, it really does appear to us that it's really what's best for her emotionally, psychologically. Oh, and the finances also happen to line up. This is The Ramsey Show. Dave here.

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