The Ramsey Show - App - How to Sell Your New Car (Hour 3)

Episode Date: August 23, 2018

The show about you

🎵 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is done, cash is king, and the paid off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I am Dave Ramsey, your host. This is your show. Thank you for being with us. It's your show because we talk about you. You're our favorite subject. And some of you are downright impressive, and some of you are downright entertaining.

We're glad you're with us, I can tell you that. The phone number is 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Jesse's with us in Houston, Texas. Hi, Jesse. How are you? How's it going? Thank you, Dave, for taking my call today.

Sure. What's up? So, recently, I got a car loan about four months ago. And I owe about $49,000. On the car? On the car, on my truck. It's actually a truck, $49,000. All right.

And your question's what? So my income is $60,000 and I want to get out of debt. So I have $49,000 in car loans and $9,000 in credit card debt. What do you think you owe today? I mean, I want to sell the vehicle because I have another car that's about, a car maybe worth about $2,500. So, like, I want to get rid of the truck, but I don't know, you know, what steps to take exactly.

How long have you had the truck? How long have you had it? For four months. Is it brand new? 2017. I got it with like 15,000 miles. Okay. All right.

Well, it's a difficult... The more expensive a vehicle is, the more difficult it is to sell. And a $50,000 truck is harder to sell than a $10,000 truck. But you definitely need to sell the truck. There's no question about that. And you're probably going to lose a pretty good amount on it. I mean, you know, you may have to write a check to sell it, or you may have to borrow some money to sell it to cover the difference.

You're probably upside down on it. Do you know what that means? It means you owe more on it than it's worth right now, I suspect, don't you? Yeah. Yes, definitely. I know. Yeah. So, I mean, let's start talking to dealers about what you can get for it,

and let's get on Craigslist, and let's get on KellyBlueBookKBB.com and look at private sale, and let's get the car listed on trader.com and let's see if we can get it sold dude you got to sell the truck i mean you don't need a 49 000 truck with a 60 000 income that's insanity yeah it's gotta go i mean it's killing you i don't even know how you got this loan that's unbelievable loan wow What's the interest rate on the loan? Well, the vehicle was worth $32,000, but with the interest, it went up to $50,000. So it was like 11% interest for 72 months. Oh, that's better news.

Okay. Because, no, that's the total of the interest if you pay it all the way through. But you don't owe all of that if you sell the truck early. So what you need to find out is what your payoff balance is, not what the total is. Okay. Do you know what your interest rate is? Yeah, my interest rate is 11% for a vehicle that was 32. Ouch.

They saw you coming didn't they Yeah when you left They had a party They sold a $32,000 truck At 11% interest They had a party When you left the lot There was like confetti And you know they're handing out

Alcoholic beverages And all kinds of stuff after that man I'm just telling you wow wow, what a mess. Yeah, you need to get that thing sold, dude, as soon as you possibly can. The good news is call the – first thing is find out the value of the truck. Go to Kelly Blue Book, kbb.com, and look at private sale and put in the information about the truck. And then call the finance company and get your actual payoff, meaning if you pay it off, you know, in the next month, what is going to be the balance to pay it off?

And that's going to be around what you borrowed originally. It's not going to be a lot more. It's not $50,000. That's helpful. It's a little better. It's still $20,000 better than the original discussion. But, man, what a mess. Yeah, you still have a car that's insanity, and you still have a car that's got to go,

and a truck, and it's still, ouch, what a mess. Chelsea is with us in Kansas, Salina, Kansas. Hey, Chelsea, how are you? I'm doing well, Dave. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Well, I recently started reading your book that comes with your Financial Peace University. And so I'm kind of getting overwhelmed about the first baby step.

I'm not quite sure how to go about saving. I make like $100 more a month than I pay in bills. So what is your income? I make about $1,800 a month. Okay. And you're single? Yes. And how old?

26th. And what do you do? I'm an office manager at a flooring store. Okay. So it sounds like you have an income problem, don't you? Yeah. Yeah, I actually am going to be starting a second job in the evenings on Monday. Good.

What's it pay? $9 an hour. Okay. Can you do better than that? At the moment, no. I mean, my full-time job is $11 an hour, and then the second job I'm getting is going to be nine. You can do better than that babysitting. You can do better than that cleaning houses.

You can do better than that walking dogs. You can beat $9 an hour. Okay. You cannot devalue yourself to that point. You need to make some money while you're working this extra job with your side hustle. So you need the best. I mean, you can do better than that delivering pizzas. And so, you know, let's start shopping around and thinking about how we can act.

Because, I mean, I want you to make an extra $1,000 a month minimum, maybe $1,500 a month. And you can do that delivering pizzas and setting up a nanny service or a babysitting service in your neighborhood. Just call all your parents, you know, friends and say, who's got kids? You know? Or whatever. Or whoever's in the area. Or go to your local church and, you know, just start talking to people in the nursery and go, yeah, I babysit, you know.

And you make $20 an hour in most places doing that. So, yeah, let's start setting up some things like that where you can make an extra $1,500 a month. Because, see, that suddenly changes your equation, doesn't it? Yeah. That's like one month you got your $1,000. Yeah, that would be incredible. Yeah, $9 an hour, and you get a few hours here and a few hours there, and then they take taxes out, and they take something else out,

and then you get home with four cents, you know, if you're not careful. Yeah. So, yeah, you need to make $1,000, $1,500 a month as your part-time gig. That's your first step on your income equation. The second step is you say, I'm 26. What do I want to be doing when I'm 36 that pays $80,000 a year? Right. And what steps have I got to do to become one of those kinds of people?

Whatever that title is, whatever that job title is, what have I got to do to be that? What classes have I got to take? What mentorship program have I got to get in? What apprenticeship program have I got to get in? What apprenticeship program have I got to get in? Whatever. And then you start taking long-term steps to get yourself into a better career that's not an $11 career. And because you need to get your income up overall, too, and not have to work side hustles your whole life. This is The Dave Ramsey Show.

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Rebecca is with us in Bakersfield, California. Hi, Rebecca. How are you? Hi, Dave. I'm well, thank you. Better than I deserve. How can I help? Yeah, my husband and I just? Hi, Dave. I'm well, thank you. Better than I deserve. How can I help? Yeah, my husband and I just started Baby Step number two.

We have quite a bit of debt, $97,000 in student loans. Well, that's a private student loan, and then another $20,000 in federal student loans, and then $7,000 in credit cards. I read your book. I'm inspired to get weird and to pay this off, and I think we can do it fast. We make about $90,000 together take home. I want to do this in five years or less. How much debt have you got again? Say that again.

Seven on credit cards and 25 on a student loan, and what on a student loan? The first large student loan is $97,000, Sally Mae student loan. And then there's a $25,000. And then a $20,000 federal student loan. $20,000, and then $7,000 in credit cards. Yeah, so we have a lot. I think we can do it fast. We cut up our credit cards. We're budgeting.

Five years is not fast. Yeah. But he thinks it's going to take like 10 years still. No, it's going to take less than three. Okay. See, that's what I mean. I need to hear you say that it's possible. That's what I want to do.

Yeah. Well, let's just do some simple math here, okay? You make $90,000 a year. Yeah. Okay. $40,000 a year for three years pays it off yeah you can't live on 50 we can i think we can we just have to make a lot of changes yeah i mean it's radical this is rip the band-aid off stuff you know it's not tear it off slowly it's

rip you know sorry but that that's what's successful is when people get that intense i actually think you're probably going to do this in less than three years because i don't think your income is going to remain the same what do y'all do for a living i'm a registered registered nurse and he is a respiratory therapist wonderful both of you can work like animals yeah that's what the plan is to is work in strikes mean, you can make more than 90. You just have to work all the time. Yep. But you're not going to be able to go on vacations or go out to restaurants anyway because we're getting out of debt, so you might as well be working. I know.

I know. It's for a short period of time. We're going to live like no one else so that later we can live like no one else. And, yeah, you're out of debt in less than three years. But you have no life. That's all I believe is possible. You have no life during that three years well here's the math okay you pick up all the ot you can pick up i mean you pick up some emergency room work or whatever right yeah he does the same thing you can get your income to 120 in this house. Yeah. But you have no life. Mm-hmm. Okay. Just for two years. So 120 minus 50,000

is 70,000 to live on. 50,000 a year for two years almost knocks this debt out. In two years. Yep. But you're working all the time. Yeah. And you have no life. And your friends are going to think you're crazy. And your mother's going to think you need counseling.

You know, but you'll be done in two years. Not ten years, not five years. And that's when people are successful is when they get that intense, that focused, and they just, you know, they just go crazy on this stuff. And that's how you win. You have the perfect careers to temporarily increase your income dramatically without doing harm to your career. Yep, yep. Because you can scale right back down and not do any harm once this is over.

Yep. But, you know, you don't do 40-hour weeks when you're in a mess. You do 80-hour weeks when you're in a mess. Mm-hmm. We're in a mess, for sure. Yeah, yeah, and you can do this. You really can do this, Rebecca. This is so freaking doable. But it's going to be all about just making this the only thing you're doing.

You have no life, no lifestyle. It's scorched earth, beans and rice, rice and beans. You're going to see the inside of a restaurant unless you're working there. Okay. I mean, you just completely focus on getting out of debt. Because here's the thing. The deeper people cut, the faster they get out, and the faster they get out, the higher probability is that they get out.

And so it truly is a rip the Band-Aid off thing. It's do it. It's, you know, boom, hit it hard, hit hard hit it fast hit it often that kind of thing that yeah you can do this you definitely can do this yes thank you i think so too hey thanks for the call mandy's with us in atlanta hi mandy how are you hi i'm doing well thank you thanks so much for chatting with me today certainly how can i help. So I have a question for you. My husband and I are in baby step two and we've got a long road ahead of us. We have about 107,000 in debt. Most of it is student loans. And so both of us are on salary. We have no opportunity for overtime.

And so I was thinking about things that I can do to help this along, become a gazelle. And I came up with an idea, and I just wanted to see what you thought about it, see if it's worth pursuing. Okay. So the work that I do is in bookkeeping. It's creative in creative problem solving, but not physically creative. And I find myself to be a creative person, so I was thinking of how I might be able to apply that and get some extra income.

A few years ago, I made a table for my nephew where I used a technique that made it very unique. And my sister-in-law just really loved it. And so I thought, well, maybe I can do something like that and do it like an Etsy shop style project. So I'm just wondering how, if you have any advice on how to maybe test the idea to see if it's something that people want. I can't find any comparable products on Etsy or other sites like that. I mean, there's tables, obviously, but there's not things that are in this style. And it would probably cost me about $60 to $70 per item.

That's not counting shipping it to wherever it would go. How long does it take to make? It takes probably, I think there would be a learning curve to it. I think I would be able to become pretty quick at it once I got back. If I ordered one today, how long would it take you to make the first one? It would probably take me about two weeks. Okay, good. You can put it on Etsy without owning one.

Right. Take pictures of the one you gave away. Sure, yeah, I can definitely do that. And just say it's two weeks to get there okay delivery is two weeks yeah absolutely would it be worth it too because i know there are feet i don't know the exact i looked it up a while ago but i don't remember the exact fees for etsy um do you think it would be worth it to do it on a different platform first like a facebook um marketplace or or something like that i don't know why you couldn't put it on all of them.

Okay. None of them are exclusive, meaning that they all allow you to be on anything and then just find out where people buy tables, which one of these platforms is the best way to sell it, and how can you move them the most and so forth. And, you know, if you can make it in two weeks and it costs you $60, what are you selling it for? I would imagine I'd have to sell it for maybe $150, $175, something like that. Okay, so you make $100 with how many hours invested?

Like I said, I think it would speed up pretty quickly, especially if I could get my... How many hours will it take you to build a table that you're going to make a $100 profit on? I'd probably say about two hours. Okay. $50 an hour is a pretty good job. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Why does it take two weeks?

Well, I actually had surgery on my hand today. I'm sorry? Yeah, so I would have to give myself a little bit of time to heal before... Oh, okay. But after we get past that, you could turn the thing in a few days. Oh, yeah, definitely. Oh, okay.

All right. Well, that makes good sense then. Yeah, all right. I didn't know. When I was asking this, I thought it was just like what a normal customer would get. Oh, no. A month from now, if somebody buys one on Etsy, you can get it to them by the end of the week and make them all custom, right?

Yes. Yeah, I'd be able to do that. Yeah, that's the thing to do. Put them out there on everything. Hold on. I'm going to send you a copy of Christy Wright's book, Business Boutique, Equipping Women to Make Money Doing What They Love. And check out the website, businessboutique.com and all the community there.

There's a lot of ladies making a lot of money on businesses and side hustles, both that are businesses. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. You know what I've learned after talking to so many people who have been victims of ID theft? They feel violated and they have a sense of fear and intrusion. It can be overwhelming. It's scary and infuriating at the same time. People question your character. You try to figure out how it happened and you worry it's going to happen again. Then you have to deal with cleaning up the mess. Bill collectors,

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Right here in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions, Andrew and Ashley are with us. Hey, guys, how are you? Hey, Dave, what's up? Welcome, welcome. Where do you guys live? Charlotte, North Carolina. We live in a little city that's south of there, Rock Hill. Oh, yeah.

Wow. Very cool. Went to a wedding there one time a million years ago. Redneck wedding. Yeah, there you go. It was fun. It was a good wedding. Good to have you guys.

Welcome, and you're here to do a debt-free scream. Yes, we are. And how much have you paid off? We've paid off $60,000. And how long did this take? It took 22 months. Good. And your range of income during that time? We started out at around $55,000, and we now are up to about $75,000.

Excellent. What do you guys do for a living? I work in property management. I am a community manager over a 350-unit multifamily property. And I'm a communications technician for a company, Comporium, in the local area. Excellent. Very cool. Good for you guys. So what kind of debt was the $60,000? Student loans. Sally Mae. 100% of it? 100%. So you just had to give the old woman her eviction notice. Oh, man, she got a big bloody nose, yeah. Love it. Yeah. How long have you guys been married?

Three and a half years. Okay. So what happened two years ago that started this adventure? Want to start? Well, we were kind of hobbling along after about less than a year after we had been married. We hadn't really addressed our finances or anything. And so there come a point to where we kind of had the discussion, you know, what kind of debt do we have?

Because I heard about you. I used to live here in Nashville years ago after I graduated from college. So I knew of you and loved your radio show, but didn't really do the things that you said to do. I actually had some student loan debt of my own and paid it off in like 10 years, which was ridiculous. But got that paid off. So I already knew about you. So I knew that we had a way out and that there was hope. And so we found out that Ashley had brought into our marriage. 60,000. Okay. All mine. I'm responsible. All right. And

we got talking about the future and our plans and kind of where we wanted to go. And it kind of slowly started. And then when I realized how long it was going to take us to get to the bigger house and be able to travel. And I was like, we've got to kick this into high gear. I'm too impatient to sit around and let this just kind of sit. Good for you. You didn't like his 10-year plan. It was mine originally.

Because I had the idea. I'd heard that after so long, like 20 years, they'll just forgive it. If you get into a certain job, I was like, I'll just make minimal payments. They'll forgive it so I don't have to deal with it. I don't have to pay all that back. And he didn't like that. She told me this, and I'm thinking 20 years. So in my mind, it's like a videotape. It just fast-forwards 20 years.

20 years, and I'm sitting there. I'm thinking, okay, honey, here's like a videotape. It just fast-forwards 20 years. 20 years, and I'm sitting there. I'm thinking, okay, honey, here's the last student loan payment. And then I come back to reality, and I said, there is no way. We have to do something about it. It's like a movie. Oh, my gosh. There was no way. There was just no way.

So I had gotten a new vehicle that was issued to me through my company. It had Bluetooth capability, and so I started listening to the podcast. And it was so motivating. And I went back to Ashley and said, all right, let's do this. Okay. So he says, I got this crazy guy on the podcast. What did you say, Ashley? I said, if it's going to get us there quicker and get me to a bigger house and out of this 800-square-foot townhome, let's do it.

If it'll get me where we can start a family sooner, let's do it. If it'll get me where we can start a family sooner, let's do it. If it'll get me where we can travel, do it. So I was on board. You got the whys real quick. You figured out why. Now we just got to figure out the how. Yes. Absolutely.

So what do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is? You pay off $30,000 a year basically for two years. I mean, you guys got after it. Yeah, I mean, and you mentioned it already. You have to have a reason why because if you don't have a reason why, there's no reason to do it. So I think that is very key for this to work. I think, so we're going to be coordinating an FPU class this fall. And so I've been promoting it a lot.

And what I've sort of realized is there are a lot of people out there that aren't willing to change. So I believe that the key, other than having a reason to getting out of debt, is you have to be willing to change what you are already doing in order for this to work for you. Once you have a reason why and you're willing to change, the rest of it will happen because we already have a plan. You've given us a plan, Dave. I mean, it's right there in front of us. And so those are the two biggest things. And you need to stay motivated. So being motivated by being on the same page with your spouse is great. Very cool. What about you, Ashley? What do you say the reason, the way to get out of debt is? What's the big deal that gave you success?

Be disciplined. Once you get your budget and being on the same page and just staying there and making sure you're not detracting from that and you keep your budget and being on the same page and just staying there and making sure you're not detracting from that you keep your goals in mind just being disciplined to stay that and know that there is a bigger picture that you're reaching for what was the hardest part of the last two years not being able to go out to eat yeah saying no amen saying no was hard amen that sandwich it's a pain in the butt i mean what you all have done is really hard i mean we threw these debt-free screams and everybody acts like you know but i mean it's hard. I mean, that sandwich for lunch every day. It's a pain in the butt. I mean, what you all have done is really hard. I mean, we do these debt-free screams and everybody acts like, you know, but I mean, it's hard. It's really hard.

It is really hard. And you've really, you have people making fun of you and people wondering if you lost your mind. Oh, you should have heard the guys at work. I mean, they're just like, oh, as soon as you get a baby, oh, you can kiss that budget goodbye. Yeah. And so, you know, you just kind of look and nod your head and walk on and say, all right, I got this. I love it. Very cool.

Well, congratulations, you guys. Very, very proud of you. How's it feel? It's surreal, which we've actually paid it off officially last Friday. Wow. Yeah, just last Friday. Like setting this up and knowing we were coming here to talk to you. We're like, we've got to do this.

Can't be faking this. I think tomorrow with the next paycheck that's at post-debt, knowing that we're not having to set something aside to go away. We'll have to be able to put that in savings. That's going to feel incredible. It's going to be a lot of wiggle rooms.

Margin in this one. We're going to have some money. I love to be a lot of wiggle room, some margin in this one. We're going to have some money. There you go. I love it. I mean, you've been putting $2,500 a month basically on this is what it amounts to. So, wow. Congratulations, you guys. Thanks.

We've got a copy of Chris Hogan's retire-inspired book for you. That's the next chapter in your story to be millionaires. You're on your way. Yes, we are. You can do that and be outrageously generous along the way. Yes, we will. And you had the baby. We did.

So what's the baby's name? Ansley. Ansley. And how old is Ansley? She is six months old today. Awesome. Today is her birthday. And so she came in the middle of all this.

Yes. Wow. She came after losing one. Two months after we really kicked it into high gear, we lost one. And about six months later, we found out we were pregnant with her and we knew. And because we were on a plan and we were prepared having her we didn't skip a beat.

Yeah. Wow. So here we are six months later and we are not dealing with it anymore. I love it. She's never going to understand

what it's like to borrow money. Amen. We're not going to give her a chance to do that. The family tree has changed. That's it. Legacy. Well done you guys.

Awesome stuff. Andrew and Ashley and Ansley, Charlotte, North Carolina area. Rock Hill, to be exact. $60,000 paid off in 22 months, making $50,000 to $75,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Ready? Three, two, one.

We're debt-free! Ready? Three, two, one. We'll die free! Love it, love it, love it. Very well done, you guys. Very well done. Have you ever wanted to help people win with money? Coach them through some of the solutions like we do here on the show? Then we've got the best program for you. It's to help you become a financial coach.

Our world-class online program, Financial Coach Master Training, FCMT. You get everything you need to know to become a confident and credible financial coach. If you're interested in becoming one of our financial coaches, not on our staff, but trained by us, connected to us, then you don't want to miss out this free live webinar that is this coming Tuesday, August the 28th. You can register for the free webinar on August the 28th by texting the word COACHING to 33789. So text COACHING, the word COACHING, to 33789. And join us for this free webinar about being a financial coach.

That's how all this started years ago with me. I saw people doing this, and I thought, man, I want to be part of that. People changing lives, people being transformed, marriages being touched, family trees being changed. I want to be part of that.

Text COACHING to 33789. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Our scripture today, Colossians 3, 1-2 Since then you have been raised with Christ Set your hearts on things above where Christ is Seated at the right hand of God Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things Norman Schwarzkopf said Leadership is a potent combination of strategy and character.

But if you must be without one, be without strategy. Ooh, that's good. Sarah is with us in Chicago. Hi, Sarah. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Hi. It's so good to talk to you. You too.

What's up? So I'll try to make this brief. It's complicated. But anyways, my husband is a helicopter pilot. He has a very lucrative career. He's done very well. He worked really, really hard, completed the entire program in nine months. His parents funded that. Seven years ago, his cousin on his mom's side decided that they wanted to be a helicopter pilot too. There was no money, so his mom convinced the grandparents loan her $100,000 to do it.

She was given $100,000, didn't follow the program, broke every rule that was set. My husband's, or my father-in-law was against it. It was kind of a joke in the family. It's my husband, myself, and my father-in-law against his mom and her mom. There was no accountability. She would go on trips and spent, I mean, you name it, she did it. This is your mother-in-law or your mother-in-law's sister? My mother-in-law, it's my mother, the girl wanting to fly is my mother-in-law's niece. Yeah, but who screwed up the money, your mother-in-law? My mother-in-law and her mom. Okay, your mother-in-law is the one that misbehaved and blew the money.

Is that what you're saying? Yeah, pretty much. Okay. So anyways, to fast forward now, my husband and I bought our own personal helicopter two years ago. And now my mother-in-law wants us to let this cousin use it to keep, I call it funding her misbehavior. They call it showing grace and that the problem is me. I just don't like her. And my husband and I made it, this is where it gets dicey. So my husband and I made the decision when we bought the helicopter that she was not going to use it, and that was our decision. However, now my father-in-law has given up on trying to defend this. It's been a whole marriage problem with them, so he's taken my mother-in-law's side.

So my father-in-law calls at my husband and undoes the decisions that we made. No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't. Your husband did. Your husband wimped. Your father-in-law doesn't have the power to do that. Only your husband does. Okay. Well, my husband says that... You and your husband need to see a marriage counselor

because his parents are freaks. That's what you've just described to me. And if the two of you don't get on the same page on how to deal with the freak show that is his family, you're going to end up divorced. Okay. Does that make sense to you? Yeah. His family's a freak show, and you can't fix them, and you can't even be the one that sets the boundaries.

He has to set the boundaries. Because that's what he's suggesting. He says, well, you march in there, and you set the rules. No, he needs to actually have a backbone. Run down to Walmart on all three, pick up a backbone, boy. Your mama's crazier than a bean, and your wife is right. You need to keep your word to your wife. Okay, so how would you answer this? I get asked all the time, well, how do you know your rules are right?

I don't even know how to defend that. Because it's my freaking helicopter. I don't have to defend my rules it's my house it's my i want to drive your car no well how do you know that's okay because it's my car and i decided no it's not it doesn't it's not mean it's's saying, look, we have decided that this is how we're going to run our lives. And if you don't like that, then you have to decide how you're going to react to that. But we can't control your reaction. All we can control is what we are going to do. And here's what we're going to do.

We don't loan out our helicopter. By the way, to anybody. Anybody. We don't give, to anybody. Anybody. We don't give it to anybody else either. Non-family members. If somebody else walks up to you and says, oh, I want to use your... No, we don't. A helicopter is not something you, you know, you loan it to somebody over the weekend. Hello? It's not a pick-up.

My husband has even said things like to me, if this causes my parents to get divorced, I'll never forgive you. Then you need marriage counseling. Your husband is more loyal to his parents than he is to his wife. By the way, he set up a game. He set up a boundary. He's the one that went back on his word how about i don't forgive you for

you know having no backbone when your father called i think you're i think you're hitting on a major problem because his dad will openly this must be a generational thing because his dad will openly admit that this must be a generational thing, because his dad will openly admit that he loves his son more than he loves his wife. Well, there you go. So we need to decide. Listen, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and to health, you leave your parents and cleave to your spouse.

I love my parents, my wife, I love my wife's parents. They. I love my parents. I love my wife's parents. They do not run my house. My daughters, my son are married. I do not run their house. They run their house. I have to respect their decisions. They're grown people.

They have their thing. My son just got married in April, and his new wife is not going to have to struggle with the Ramseys getting between the two of them. If one of the Ramseys does that, they'll have to deal with me, because that's not going to happen. One last question. I've been told by the entire family if I don't do what his mom says, she'll hate me for the rest of my life.

Oh, well. Oh, well. I have to put up with a bully. I have to do everything you say, and that's the only way you like me. No, that's not liking you. That means you're a wuss, and you have no opinion and no backbone. You're a jellyfish and, you know, you're not even a real adult. You're just, this woman pushes everybody around.

This chick is a, she's a test pilot for a broom factory. I mean, what you're describing here is a completely dysfunctional family. I'm not a financial counselor. I mean, I'm a financial counselor. I'm not a family counselor, but I run into this crap all the time around the money issues. The book is Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. You and your husband need to get that, and you need to read it by Monday. And you need to be in marriage counseling sometime in the next four days.

This is not going to end well, Sarah, if you guys don't take a proactive stance to protect your marriage. This is not a mother-in-law problem. It's not a helicopter problem. It's not a niece problem, and it's not a grandmother problem. It's a marriage problem. Am I wrong? I think you pretty much hit it on the head yeah if the here's the thing when you set boundaries

with people like his mother the first thing they do is attack those boundaries because they don't like boundaries they think and they're gonna be angry boundaryless people don't like being told where the fences are the first thing. The first thing you did, you set a boundary on the helicopter. What'd they do? They all immediately went after that boundary. And you're not crazy. They are. It's a classic case study.

It's classic in this space. Book is Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. It'll be the new Bible for your house. One of them, anyway. And you guys are going to sit down and get, you two are going to get on the same page about his crazy family. Because they're consuming you guys. And they're going to consume this marriage.

That puts this hour of the Dave Ramsey Show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Hey, it's Kelly, Dave's phone screener. We finished 2017 with a bang as the fourth most downloaded podcast of the year. Thanks to all of you for listening and helping us spread the word.