The Ramsey Show - App - Husband Is Secretly Using Our Savings for Drugs (Hour 3)

Episode Date: March 31, 2023

George Kamel & Jade Warshaw answer your questions and discuss: "My husband has been secretly spending our emergency fund on drugs...", What the FDIC means for the average person, from the blog: Why Your Money Is Safe in a Bank: A Look at FDIC Insurance and What It Covers, "Should I keep dating a guy who has a lot of debt?" Shifting from intensity to intentionality. Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Take our FREE 3 minute assessment: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy

МУЗЫКАЛЬНАЯ ЗАСТАВКА Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Pods Moving and Storage Studio, it's The Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work they love, and create amazing relationships. I'm Ramsey personality, George Campbell, joined by Jade Warshaw this hour, and the number to call is 888-825-5225. You jump in, we'll talk about your life and your money, and hopefully give you the right next step for your financial future.

Natalie kicks off this hour in Charlotte, North Carolina. Natalie, welcome to the show. Hello, thank you for having me. Absolutely. How can we help? Well, first of all, I'm going to just say right off the rip that my husband and I have separate finances, basically due to, on my end, there's some narcissistic tendencies over there, some emotional abuse. We've been together about six, seven years. So we are separate there. We do have an emergency fund. We're on pages four, five, and six. And we have some cash at home hidden and some in the bank, obviously. And so I found out after some kind of bigger fight that he's been taking from the emergency fund without my me

knowing and um I thought I could trust him so I've honestly never thought to count it and come to find out he's been spending that as cash and keeping money in his account for himself so I've never been so close honestly with that and some of the emotional abuse. I've never been so close to considering separation. I've offered counseling as an option and that is not an option. Why? He said no to counseling. He refuses. He refuses. Yes. Doesn't believe in it. So now I'm kind of to the point he's written me this long letter and talked to me about it, but I'm kind of in a pinch of, can I get someone like that to ever change? Or basically, do I just kind of accept things as they are? He's admitted to everything after I had to find out.

He likes to lie, but I find stuff out, and then he admits to it then and agrees that I'm wrong. He hasn't blown up since, but I'm kind of in this spot where I don't know if I should give up the hope that he's going to change. Not that it makes it any better or any worse, but how much money are we talking about? Five grand. And this was sitting in the emergency fund in the bank? This was at home. So this was, he used $5,000 in cash without you knowing? Correct.

And what did he use that money on? Apparently just daily expenses. No, uh-uh. What did he use the money on? What do you think he used the money on? Personal, I guess, habits. Bad habits. Is there addiction?

Drugs? Gambling? Okay. Some drugs. Okay. Hey, I'm sorry that this is happening. This sucks. It's really hard when, you know,

marriage is two folks involved and it's really, really hard when one of the people is trying and offering counseling and hey, let's work together. And the other person is like, I'm out. Like they've tapped out. And I hate that it sounds, but it sounds like to me,

like he's tapped out. Like if hate that it sounds, but it sounds like to me, like he's tapped out. Like if you're not willing to do counseling, you're not willing to, I mean, you got to, he's got to take a step forward. I mean, it sounds like you're taking 10 steps forward and he's kind of taking one step back going away from you. And I hate that that's happening. In these situations, I'm always like, okay, let's get in counseling or let's get in, you know, let's find a good church community and get around some folks who can encourage us and help us out. But it kind of sounds like he's just said no to all that. Is he depressed? And that's the thing.

And he told me that he has been struggling with depression for the past couple years. And I've tried to talk to him about that before because his dad brought it up to me and he is not an emotional person, so he won't talk to me about it. So, yep. And that's kind of where that and we have little kids together. I don't know where to go. How many kids you have? Three. Is he willing to get medical help? See a psychologist, a psychiatrist? What is he willing to get medical help see a psychologist a psychiatrist what is he willing to do at this point no church no counseling um basically marijuana is uh the way he handles

that's his vice do you have community natalie are there folks around you do you have family friends a church do you have people that you can lean on and really count on? I do. And I have some friends that I can count on. The thing is, people have been around since the beginning and they are a little biased at this point. Yeah. So I'm going to I'm going to take a page out of John's book. I'm not I have no therapy background, no degree background, nothing like that. This is just Jade, Jade Warshaw talking and we're talking as buddies right now. You're not in a safe environment. You've got somebody who's using drugs regularly. You can't trust them. They're gaslighting you and you've got kids involved. And for me, that's it. Sam, this is not Sam Warshaw, but if Sam, if I found myself in this situation with Sam Warshaw,

I'd be hitting the road. I'd be getting out of that situation. I'm not saying that that means you're getting a divorce right away, but I am getting out of that house and I am getting my kids to a place that is safe, that there's no drug use involved, that there is no, my guess is there's probably some other bad habits at play here as well. And into a physically safe and mentally safe environment. And I'm glad that you've got some folks around you. Is there anybody that you can hang with for a while while you kind of get your act together financially and figure out what that next step is? Yes, there is. I guess the only thing that scares me is, I know my mental health is already at stake, but my mental health, my kids are very little.

Yeah. So that's the only thing really, honestly. And you're just afraid you can't, you're just afraid you won't be able to kind of take care of them on your own. I can do it. It's mostly just being, living with somebody else and trying to, I guess, get along that way financially. And then, honestly, it's just the part I came from separated parents and I made a vow. So that's where I'm struggling. And I don't want to fly off the handle. Well, I think if nothing else, you need to get counseling for yourself,

even if he's not willing, just so that you understand how to move forward with this. But letting it just sit and fester and not do anything about it is about the worst thing we can do here for you and the kids and for him. If he needs to hit rock bottom to get his life together, well, help him meet rock bottom to speed this process up. I want this marriage to work, and I still believe there is hope, but we got to get him to a point where he's angry at the situation where he goes, I got to be there for my kids. Yeah, and you can't control that, Natalie. We hope that that

happens, but ultimately you're not in control of that. What you're in control of is you making a plan. What does that look like for you to get safe? What does that look for you to get healthy? If it's counseling, what do you need to be able to do financially? Start tonight, get in your journal and start writing out a financial plan, a mental plan, and even a locational plan for how you can make this work for your family. I hope you guys are able to reconcile. And you've got to get people around you. You can't do this alone. It's just simply too hard. So if you need to find a church community in your area, do that.

If you need to find friends that can come around you, do that. But this is going to take a lot of time to just rebuild the trust, even if this is going to work. But marriage isn't 50-50. It's 100-100. Man, okay. And this guy's giving you zero right now. And that is an unsustainable option.

We're praying for you. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Jade Warshaw this hour. The number to call is 888-825-5225. All right, Jade, I want to talk about something that is kind of boring, but is also stressing people out. And it starts with F, then it goes D, then it goes I, then it goes C. Ooh, okay.

You like that? I think you just gave it away. Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. And this is a word people really, you only saw it at like banks and the little gold placard. Remember FDIC. But now it's all over the news. Yeah, that's what they say because of you know silicon valley bank uh the bank run the collapse and all of a sudden fdic is way more important so i want to squelch some of

the fears out there that people have around is my money safe in the bank that's what this comes down to yes so let's talk about what the fdic is and how it works. They insure trillions of dollars, bank deposits at more than 5,000 banks and savings in the U.S. It's an independent federal agency that kind of functions like insurance for the banks. So the banks are saying, we need help taking on this risk in case something were to happen and we can't fund it, you guys step in and fund the... It's that simple. We have car insurance because we can't cover the big stuff and the banks do the same for themselves. So they pay these insurance premiums and that's how it works. So how does the coverage work then, George? So if a bank fails, the FDIC swoops in and reimburses customers for any lost money. So if you had 40 grand with a

bank, the bank collapses, the government's like, hey, we got your back. I'm not losing anything. You're not losing a dime. So they take over the failed bank and they work to transfer the loans and deposit that to a healthy bank to where your money is safe. And they also now have ownership of all the bank's assets. Wow. Okay. So they can sell off what they need. They can liquidate whatever they need to in order to make sure your money is secure. Exactly. So how much money does the FDIC insure? It's up to $250,000 per depositor, per insured bank for each account ownership category.

So that's a lot of word salad to say this. If you're a single person, you're covered up to $250,000. That's a bag. If you have a joint account, you and Sam have a joint account, you're covered up to $500,000 because it's $250,000 per person. Okay. So. Now, can you explain a little bit on if, let's say I'm at, let's say I'm at Chase Bank and I've got a savings account that's got a large sum of money.

And let's say I've got a checking account that's got some money. And let's just say I have a, I don't know, a couple of CDs or something with them. Yes. How does that work? This is where the account categories come into play. And so checking and savings would be one category versus a CD or a trust. Those would be different categories. And so if you have, I don't know why this, this probably relates to no one out there who's like, well, that's perfect. I have $800,000 sitting across my, you could open accounts at different banks yeah if you want to be

safe so 250 in one bank 250 in another bank 250 in another bank so case in point let's just say you sold your house and you've got a nice little nest egg of change let's say you sold your house you got three hundred thousand dollars you're sitting on and you're like that's just over the limit you could if you really wanted to be safe, you could say, I'm going to put some of this with Ally Bank high yield savings account, and I'm going to put some of it at one of the other high yield savings accounts. Yeah. And I would rather have it in a high yield savings account anyways. Facts.

Making three or 4%. So it doesn't apply to a lot of people, but everyone's kind of freaked out by this. But rest assured, the FDIC has never failed in this way. They've never run out of money. They've got over $100 billion plus any bank assets that come their way through these collapses that they can sell off. So what this doesn't cover, Jade, is investments. So your stocks, your bonds, your mutual funds, your crypto, life insurance, annuities. And so you're taking on a risk by investing into the stock market the bank's not going to cover you that's true your money the only way that there might be some coverage there is you know when you first put that money over to the brokerage before you've invested it and it's just kind of like sitting as cash on hand in that money market that would be protected i would

think up to 250 000 yes but go ahead go on ahead and invest that money don't just let that money be that's the bigger thing if you called in and you're worried about this, I'm going, what are you doing sitting on 800,000? Tripping. Either invest it, put it towards real estate. Yeah. Use it towards something. Maybe you just have that across

multiple high yield savings accounts. Worst case. That's what I would do if I had that much sitting in cash. Yeah. Which I don't. So don't come at me. We won't come at you, George.

So here's the bottom line. Stop worrying about everyone else but yourself. You're control of your finances sleep easy at night this is not a problem people need to worry about no they're scared of like what if everyone did a bank run at once in the united states and we didn't have enough we got bigger problems at that point america yeah and we've never i mean we experienced it with toilet paper remember that during the pandemic everyone freaked out there wasn't going to be enough toilet paper. Remember that during the pandemic? Everyone freaked out. There wasn't going to be enough toilet paper. And all of a sudden there wasn't enough toilet paper.

Yes, but I never met, and I might be going too far here. I never met one person who was like, Jade, I wasn't able to take care of business. We found a way. Listen, you got to use- Did you meet anybody? I'm just saying, I'm not trying to use generic brand. Okay, you go down to one ply, you're in a dark situation.

I had somebody give me a bunch of one ply rolls like as a fail safe in case we ran out and do you know what happened 2020 went and went on and that one ply stayed in our garage i ended up giving it away because i'm not there's some places i'm not going hey that brings a whole new meaning to if crap hits the fan there you go i'll end it there but we've got a great blog on this topic. FDIC, not toilet paper. Go to ramsaysolutions.com. We'll also put it in the show notes. All right, let's get to the phones. Kelly joins us in Philadelphia. Kelly, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you for taking the time to speak with me today. Sure. What's your question? So let me preface this with saying that I was previously involved in a financially abusive relationship. So I take financial security very seriously

and makes me nervous. I am in a somewhat new relationship. The relationship I'm referencing was four years ago, so we're past that. This new relationship is moving along quickly. However, I just found out that they have a significant amount of debt with not a lot of income, and I'm just not sure if it's something I should, you know, try to work with them through or if I'm just sort of putting myself in a bad situation considering their tendencies to make poor decisions with money. Was he hiding it and you found out or you were just talking about it and he... It's just kind of come up naturally. So it's bits and pieces. Um, it started when we were talking about the hypothetical wedding stuff. And I said, you know, given my history, I was leaning more towards separate accounts. The more

I learned about, you know, this program, I learned that you want to be able to share accounts, but for sake of the conversation, um, I mentioned separate accounts and he got really offended and I brought up, I was like, well, you've told me that you're bad with money before. And I didn't know what that meant. Then he mentioned a low credit score. And I'm like, well, we got to fix that before we get married. I mean, I can't have it in, you know, affect my car insurance and all my rates and everything. I've worked too hard to get where I'm at. Um, and it got to a point four months. Wow. We're already talking about marriage? Yeah, and that's the other thing, too, is I sort of am kind of feeling like maybe there's a reason why he's trying to put pressure on it.

He knows that financially I'm secure. I mean, I'm not a millionaire yet. Do you think he's using you in a sense of like, well, she's financially secure. I'm going to hitch my cart to this wagon. Yeah. Is he trying to freeload? I don't think that, but I do know. And he admitted that if I didn't push and pry about what's your credit, what do you owe that he would have kept it from me? Because I'm the only person in his life he has ever told about his debt. Okay. I mean, it may just come from a place of shame and guilt and baggage.

So if we're going to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I agree we need to pump the brakes on this relationship. And here's the thing we need to figure out, values and goals. Because people are willing to change. I mean, I would never say, hey, don't date a guy because he has debt. But if you say, this guy says he's fine staying in debt and he's fine where he's at, that's a huge red flag to me. Yeah. Is he willing, is he actively working to pay off some of this debt? Is he, is he saying things like, yeah, once I get out of debt, blah, blah, blah,

or, you know, what are, what are his views moving forward? Because just because, you know, he started there, that doesn't necessarily mean that's his future. Yeah, so we had a talk about it once I found out that it's 70 grand and 50 of it was acquired in the past two to three years by just credit card nonsense, knowing he's spending money he didn't have. And, you know, he said he's willing to work through it. I mean, I went through a budget with him and everything. There's really not a ton of money left to spend. He's willing to do it, but I was open about my concerns that it could happen again,

and he got very defensive. I would listen to this voice, Kelly, and what I'm going to do is send you two copies of the Total Money Makeover. Read through it with him, and if he has a heart change and he's ready to go gun-ho and get rid of this, stay with him. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm George Campbell, joined by Jade Warshaw. Hey, if you like the show, which I hope you do if you're listening right now, please, please consider subscribing to the show wherever you're listening, leaving a review, and sharing this with a friend.

If you're anything like me, it's hard to keep a lot of shows in your Rolodex in the wheelhouse. And when a friend tells me about it, I go, all right, I'm actually gonna check that out. So if you've been impacted by the principles on the show, the advice on the show, we just want to spread hope and impact this year. And one of the best ways we do that is through you guys. So thank you so much. All right, Jade, Smart Conference weekend is coming up and we're almost out of tickets. So if you've been. All right, Jade, Smart Conference Weekend is coming up. And we're almost out of tickets. So if you've been waiting, don't wait. Grab your ticket now.

It's about to be sold out. This is our first event in the brand new Ramsey Event Center here in Nashville. It's just up the hill from our headquarters where we're sitting right now. And in addition to giving you life-changing practical and proven wisdom to help you be successful in every area of your life, We're going to celebrate like crazy. So April 14th and 15th, join myself, Dave Ramsey, Rachel Cruz, Dr. John Deloney, Ken Coleman, and Jade Warshaw for an amazing weekend. We're going to talk about how to crush debt, how to find work that you love to do and improve your overall well-being. We'd love to meet you and hear your story, maybe even grab a photo and sign something for you. And don't forget, because this is the first event at the new Ramsey Event Center,

every ticket includes a special commemorative badge. How fun is that? I love that. That's exclusive. So general tickets start at just $119 each, but they're almost gone. And remember, this is a two-day event. It is my favorite event that we do. The energy's just out of control.

We've got a live band. It's a whole experience. Go to ramseysolutions.com slash events and grab yours today and join us in Nashville, Tennessee, April 14th and 15th. So exciting. I got to do a run through. On the real stage in there. In the new building.

How was it? Man, it's sleek and sexy up in there. That's all I got to say. It is a nice building, a nice stage, the sound system. The team spared no expense. No, it's on point. All cash. All cash.

Let me remind you. Okay. That's how we roll. All right. Let's get to the phones. David's up next in Tulsa. David, welcome to the show. Well, thank you for taking my call, Jordan J.

Absolutely. I had a question regarding moving from gazelle intensity to intentionality. So I've always been the type of person with the personality of like, his own intensity was easy. I have two jobs, went to school. In fact, I'm finishing up my bachelor's right now in computer science.

Awesome. And as I'm coming to the end of it, I'm also about to come to the end of baby step three, finishing my emergency fund. I've been to the end of it, I'm also about to come to the end of baby step three, finishing my emergency fund. I've been trying to figure out, like, how do I make the mental switch of not being so busy, not taking on so much work, to being intentional? That's a great question. I'm assuming you're, what, 22?

32. Oh, wow. You got a young voice. So I'm curious about this, David. What happened in the last 10 years? It sounds like there was a shift for you. So the last 10 years, I honestly started my debt-free journey in 2017. I had a major medical crisis and I put all of my medical bills on a credit card and then I had a panic attack because I was like, Oh no,

this is a problem. And so, but I actually hadn't discovered you guys quite yet. I just knew that I had a big major debt and that was a problem. And so I started just taking on jobs, paying it off. Um, I finally landed a job that was like 40 hours a week.

And apparently I just mentally got bored and decided to pick up a side gig. And I decided to go back to school and I cash flowed school and all that. Wow. Is that why you were gazelle intense? So you paid off the medical debt, cash flowed school, you've always had a big goal. Get rid of that medical, yeah. That's interesting. What you talk about is so real. I hear this a lot, even in the FPU class that I was just in. It's hard for people to shift from that because when you're in debt, and your reason, it was medical bills. People have that feeling where it's like, crap, I have all this debt, and they get scared. And that's kind of like that visceral moment of like, I got to get out of this. You're running away from something, and you're running so hard, it's creating that adrenaline. It's creating that feeling of excitement like, okay, I'm getting out of this. And you're running away from something and you're running so hard. It's creating, you know, that adrenaline.

It's creating that feeling of excitement. Like, OK, I'm getting out of debt. I'm getting out of debt. Then you get out of debt. You get your savings done. And then it's like, OK, what next? And that's when you really kind of have to shift your why over to it's not just about getting out of debt anymore.

It's not just about like running for your life anymore. Now you get to run towards something and you need to create that same excitement around that. And so a lot of times it just looks like sitting down and dreaming a little bit and going, man, okay, I'm out of three, baby step three, I'm out of baby step three B. Now I get to start putting away money for me and investing and really deciding what this next part of my life looks like and getting truly excited about that and working to create that same, even though you're not moving as quickly, you're intentional, but you have that same kind of why motivation behind it. Does that make sense for you? It does. So is there any, like, I don't know, any best good practices as far as sitting down and finding that next why? Like, I feel like I've sat down, but I'm...

Well, I'll tell you what I do, David. I split it into three categories because there's only three things you can do with money. Give, save, spend. And the problem people find themselves in, if they're big savers, all they do is save. And so they're not open-handed with giving and they're not enjoying life with spending. Or they spend all their money and they have nothing in savings they're not getting. Or they're super generous, but they're unbalanced on the other sides. And so split it up. If you have a goal, are you renting right now? No, I own my house.

Awesome. And are you single? Yes. Okay. So I would set some goals and say, all right, on the spending category, it's time to upgrade the car. I want to go on that vacation. I'm going to up the food budget a little bit now that I'm at a baby step three.

I want to eat out. I want to go out with friends. A little upgrade. On the spending side. Saving side, maybe it's, hey, I want to pay off this house early. So I'm going to set aside a big chunk of money to do that while I invest 15%. Then on the giving side, I'm going to say, all right, I'm going to do 10% to my local church. I want to just spontaneously give someone a huge tip once a month when I'm out to eat. And that helps me feel balanced personally to where I'm not over indexing on one side. So just set a few goals in each category

and you turn investing on autopilot, you turn your extra mortgage payment on autopilot, and the rest you get to enjoy through doing a budget. How's that hit you, David? You know, that hits me good. I think it's the dreaming part I have to, like you mentioned, I just, I have to hone that in a little bit. We can't do that for you. I could sit here and be like, David, here's my dream for you.

It's gotta be David's dream. And so find out what those things are, what those things that light you up. Some people, like Dave Ramsey just loves to work. The dude's also in Cabo this week. So he also knows how to unplug. He loves to golf. And so start to explore. What are those hobbies? Maybe, you know, maybe there's something where you find a whole new community of friends that you love to do, but that's going to take some exploring and you have the freedom to do that when you're not so focused on working 30 extra hours a week to pay off debt. Yeah. Get you

a journal and start asking some questions. What makes you, what makes you angry in the world? And those are the types of things it's like, I want to give money to that. I want to be generous in those areas. What are the things that give me energy in life? What are the things I enjoy doing? What are some of the things I wish I was better at? And those might point to some of the hobbies that you might want to, you know, get involved in. So just start asking yourself some questions and get to know David a little bit better. You know, you, you and you could put your head down and you just go, go, go, go, go. But now you get to look up. This is a debt-free, eat, pray, love journey David's about to embark on. And I'm excited for you, man. I am too. This is good. I actually really like that

advice, the journal. I've never done that before and never thought of it from that perspective. It's very helpful. I like to just get the thoughts out on paper. It helps me get them out of my brain because there's only so much room in there. It's not a big brain, you know? But this is a great problem people have. It is. When they get out of debt and they follow our plan

because our plan, you've got to be driven and it's a process. But then they go, what now? We took a call earlier from someone who paid off their house from Baby Step 7 and they're going, what do I do now? Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. You know, baby step two, three, it'll get you addicted to that feeling of like, I got to go fast. Like that Ricky Bobby, you got to go fast all the time. And at some point you don't have to, you can slow down.

You can enjoy the finer things, the fruit of your labor, George. You can enjoy it. You feel like you're doing something wrong now because you thought, well, that was normal. Yeah. But we were just being weird to get to a place where we can be extra weird. That's right. Live like no one else so later we can live and give like no one else. Yeah. And people forget about the second part. Yes.

They just keep living like no one else. Yes. But they forget to upgrade the car and go on a vacation and do the thing you always wanted to do. And that thing you used to do when you were 12 years old, go do that again. Start the side business. Love that. And start exploring that and do it without debt, and you'll have no regret. It's that simple.

But I'm proud of David for taking the right steps to do that, finishing his bachelor's in computer science. Right young man right there. Hey, more of your calls coming up. Hit us up, 888-825-5225. This is The Ramsey Show. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show, our scripture of the day, Ephesians 2.10. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do. Elon Musk said, I think it is possible for

ordinary people to choose to be extraordinary. Hey, Ephesians and Elon, there you go. That's never, never a dull Friday around here. I've never seen those two that close to each other. And you'll never see them again. This is a first and last on the Ramsey Show. Well, hey, do you get a little heartburn every time you see the total when you check out at the grocery store? It's hard to pinch pennies at the supermarket when your dollar doesn't stretch as far as it used to. And in this week's edition of the Ramsey newsletter, we've got 30 tips to still get you what you need at the grocery store without wrecking your budget. And it's totally free to sign up. Just go to ramseysolutions.com slash newsletter to subscribe to our Sunday newsletter and learn how to save money on groceries. It's to ramseysolutions.com slash newsletter to subscribe to our Sunday newsletter

and learn how to save money on groceries. It's a tough one, Jade. I know you're big on the grocery savings, the meal prep, the meal plan, but not everyone is as blessed as you in that arena. That's true. Some people really hate cooking. They really hate doing what it takes, but I try to make it easy to where even if you don't like cooking, even if that's not really your thing, you can still implement these tips, save money on groceries, and really learn how to eat at home in an easy way. I respect it. All right, go check it out. Check it out. Let's get to the phones. Emily joins us in Dallas, Texas up next. Emily, how you doing? Hi, George. Hi, Jade. I am hoping to get y'all's blessing on whether my family and I should move, even though it will mean an increase in rent.

So this past school year, I took a job that's about 15 minutes away from where we currently live. We're in baby step two with about $17,000 left, which feels like the home stretch to us. But this year has been sort of taxing with two young kids and driving an hour each way to and from school. And I feel like moving closer, even though it's an increase, we'll just feel better. And yeah, so we didn't initially move because we wanted to make sure it was a good job fit. And we are

definitely feeling like it's somewhere I want to be long term. And so we're hoping that maybe this summer we can make that move, but just not sure if it's the smartest decision with still being in Davis-Tip 2. So what's your game plan for getting out of this $17,000 in debt? How long would that take? If we stay where we're at, about six to seven months. And if you move, it will extend that by at least a few months? I mean, if increase in rent would be about $800 to $1,000 increase, so maybe a year, but I'm thinking that I'll be closer to gigs that I can do contracts, hoping that it's a

little motivation. What's your household income? Take home this coming year will be $112,000 to $115,000. Okay. And then what is the rent going to be if you move? If we move at our max would be $2,300. We would like to be closer to the $2,000. Hey, how old are your kids? They are three and one. Okay. So we're not talking about pulling kids out of school midway through the year. That, that sort of thing is not really an issue. No, not at all. Okay, that's good.

I mean, the numbers check out. As far as it not being too much of your take-home pay, you're right at about 25% if you guys move and you keep your current income. Now you are saving a little bit on gas. Is that right? Yes. And your sanity, which counts for something. Yeah, my husband will still be working. He'll still be working.

He's a firefighter in the town that we currently live in, so he'll be driving every Thursday, which will be less than what I drive now. So he's not driving every day? No. How many times, just twice a week? He works every third day, so about two to three times a week. I go to school five to six times a week.

And he's okay and on board with his commute getting longer? Yes, it's pretty typical in that field. Is there anything closer to where you would be moving that he can transfer to? Is there a fire station there? No, it's a career. I mean, he's at a very good station that he would not want to move from or department i guess when you at first it sounded like a really great idea because you were cutting out that that big commute but then when you kind of threw in the side that well now my husband's going to be doing that commute in the opposite direction it kind of took the ringle you know the

the halo off of it for me um yeah have you looked into options for your job is there another place you could work that's closer to where you're at right now that could pay the same or more no it just doesn't exist in this north texas area it's it's about it would be a decrease of five thousand to eight thousand a year i'm not saying this is a bad plan, but I kind of want to put out there that you also, if you guys choose to make this move, but now he's the one doing the commute, you might be on borrowed time again.

Like he might, the same way that you're feeling the pinch for whatever reason, maybe it's because you're the one in the car every day. I just wonder if after a while, he's going to start feeling that. And if that's the case, fine. You'll figure out what that pivot is. But this is a Band-Aid in that case.

Exactly. Well, I don't think it's a bad move financially. I'm feeling we want to live in that direction long term. And so I think we're sort of gauging, kind of testing the waters, is whether he will be comfortable with that drive or not also. And it's different because he works 24-hour shifts versus I'm working 8 to 10 hours a day. True that, true that.

Sort of the difference. Well, you can always do it, and then six months from now, we reconvene and go, this ain't it, and just look at your lease terms and make sure you're not in a pinch on that. But I'd also make sure it doesn't slow down your debt payoff. And so I'd go, all right, it was going to be seven months. I'm willing now to pick up those contract gigs to keep it at seven months, even with the increase in rent. I almost feel like that's the must. Like that's not

really a option. That would be our caveat if you do this. Yes. But I get it. I'm not a commute guy. I think you're going to get your sanity back and a lot of time back with those kiddos. Yes, I hope so. All right, well, thank you so much. Yeah, thanks for the call, Emily. Appreciate it. Let's finish out with Andre in New York City. Andre, welcome to the show. Yes, hi.

First-time caller, long-time listener. Glad you made the leap. Thank you. How can we help? So, yes, my question is, I recently traded in my reliable Toyota Camry, which I owed about $12,000 on, and I had for about three years. And then I finally ended up getting so-called my dream car, which is a 2020 Jeep Wrangler. And I took out about $10,000 out of my savings as a down payment for the car.

And it's a three-year loan. It's about $1,000 out of my savings as a down payment for the car. And it's a three-year loan. It's about $1,100 a month. But I also just recently got a part-time job to kind of help pay for the car. And now I don't know if I really need the part-time job or not because I'm already working full-time six days a week from 7 to 5 at my first job, and now the part-time job is from 6 p.m. to midnight. Goodness gracious. Yeah, but it's not every day. But then pretty much every day back and forth, I'm like,

do I really need the job? Do I not? I'm asking if you really need the car. Yeah. And then we get rid of the job and the car. Well, yeah. What's your take-home pay monthly so okay so after taxes i'm taking home about four thousand a month no no no no no dude you got a mortgage payment in a depreciating asset is this the dream that you dreamed of this is a nightmare george I know. This is a nightmare, George.

I know. I also have about a 60-mile per day commute. No. This ain't it, man. How much is the car worth? And what do you owe on it? Well, without interest, it's $32,000.

With interest, it's $42,000. Well, if you sold it today, you'd get $32,000. Is that what you're saying? I haven't really, but yeah. And what do you owe on? What's the loan?

It's a three-year loan, $1,100 a month. What's the total on the loan that's left? Well, since I just got the car about two months, I want to say about $31,000, $32,000. Sell it today before you're upside down. Please. All it takes is one more weird thing with this car market and all of a sudden you're upside down on this car and you have to keep that part-time job.

Right now you have the option. But yeah, right now you need that part-time job as long as you have a freaking $1,100 car payment. But the other thing, I just want to tell you guys something. So I take home the $4,000 a month. So $1,000 of that's rent, $1,100 the car. Sell the car, Andre. I don't know.

I'm looking at these numbers going, Andre's broke. I don't know how you spend it in a way where you're not. And the reason is because of that car. So I'm increasing income, getting rid of the car, and then we can stop the side job. Get out while you still can. That puts this hour of The Ramsey Show in the books. Hey, it's George Camel. If you like what you heard in this episode and want to know more about getting started on the Ramsey Baby Steps,

go to RamseySolutions.com and click on the Get Started button. We'll help you figure out the best next step for you based on your specific situation. That's RamseySolutions.com and click Get Started.