The Ramsey Show - App - I Don’t Trust the Market… Should I Be Investing? (Hour 1)
Episode Date: March 7, 2023Dave Ramsey & Ken Coleman answer your questions and discuss: "I don't trust the market... should I be investing?' How to adjust to a new job, "Should I save extra for school in case my 529 doesn't ...cover it?" "When can I actually use my emergency fund?" "Did I make a rash, emotional decision?" Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Take our FREE 3 minute assessment: https://bit.ly/3nInETX Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3GxiXm6 Learn more about your ad choices. https://www.megaphone.fm/adchoices Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods, moving and storage studios.
It's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice.
I'm Dave Ramsey, your host.
Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author,
host of The Ken Coleman Show, is my co-host today.
As we answer your questions about your money, your career,
and of course, actual amazing relationships.
Open phones at 888-825-5225.
Paula is going to start us off this hour in San Antonio, Texas.
Hey, Paula, how are you?
I'm just fine, Dave, and you?
Better than I deserve.
What's up?
That's me.
However, I'm trying to find out if I'm doing the right thing for considering my situation.
I'm not trying to be an Elon Musk or a Bill Gates.
I'm very happy with what I got, and I just want to live comfortable, and I'm not trying to be an Elon Musk or a Bill Gates. I'm very happy with what I got and I'm
just want to live comfortable and I'm doing that. But I have my mortgage paid off. I am 76 years
old and I don't work. I could, but I don't. I just choose not to. I have a $2,600 a month Social Security coming in.
I have over $100,000 in a money market.
I have $31,000 in a savings.
And I save $1,000 a month.
My bills are all paid at the first of every month.
Am I doing the right thing?
Okay. So you have no investments at all no i that's right now i am too scared of that with the market so fallible and everything going
haywire i don't want to play with the market okay i just want to be comfortable and happy and
basically i am i just want to know if that happy, and basically I am.
I just want to know if that's going to carry me through to my, you know, I'm a young 76-year-old.
But you're not using the money.
No, absolutely not.
So if you continue like you continue, it would carry you on to 176.
Well, I plan to live that.
I know.
I can tell.
I can tell. So me too. I me too more energy than a 60 year old
no i'm serious that that you're not using the money and so no you know it's if you were burning
it if you were going through it a little bit if you were you know eating a thousand dollars a
month out of it uh to live but you're living on your social security is what you're saying i'm living on it and still have money sitting in my bank yeah okay i mean if that makes you happy i'm not going
to change it no i'm happy doing i just want to know if i'm if that's really the right thing to
do for me it sounds like it is because it's what makes you happy yeah so i'm not i mean very comfortable you know if it was me and um you know i'm 62
i've got my uh money in excess of an emergency fund uh if i had that extra hundred thousand i'm
i am investing it into some good mutual funds that have a long stable track record um because
i'm not scared of the market,
and that would not cause me to lay awake at night.
But it sounds to me like that that would cause you to lay awake at night,
so you shouldn't do it.
Well, it would because you see everything going up and down, up and down,
and all the predictions of we're going to have a crash and all this, you know.
Wait a minute.
You and I are old enough that we've heard that every year our entire life.
Yes.
And it never happened.
Well, I believe what you're saying,
but I'm one of these kinds that knows that it can.
There's always there.
Well, your bank can go broke.
Well, yeah.
And that's another thing I have a question is my money,
the $100,000 or more, is in a money market, choice money market.
Now, if the banks go broke, or I know it's federally insured.
Or is it with a bank?
Well, actually, it's with a savings credit union, which is about N-U-A.
Yeah, they've got N-C-U-A.
So, yeah.
That's it.
I never get those.
You've got insurance on the money if the credit union goes belly up,
and then the government would have to go belly up, which is possible, too.
Oh, yeah, the way they act.
And then you would not get your money.
And so that's your absolute worst-case scenario now.
And if you invest the money, it could go up and down, up and down, up and down.
But likely, you know, there's no track record of it disappearing either.
But I'm not going to push on it.
I mean, Paula, this is making you happy.
Yeah, and you're saving.
Oh, yeah, I just want to be sure i'm
kind of doing the right thing because like i said i put back well it's costing you about ten
thousand dollars a year it's costing me ten thousand a year yeah if it was invested you'd
be making about a ten percent rate of return on average in good mutual funds and on a hundred
thousand that's ten thousand dollars a year so you're missing out on about ten thousand dollars a year but you know it sounds to me like it sounds
to me like that's an insurance policy causes you to sleep and i'm not going to argue with you about
it well that's that's what i wanted to know then you know that's all i need to know that i'm kind
of okay with where i'm at then you're not going to go broke you're more than okay paul you couldn't
do something dumb with money if you tried.
I just don't think she's got it in her, Dave.
She's so wise.
Well, I mean, the thing is this.
Now, let's just back up and talk about it.
Number one, that's her situation.
I don't think in one radio conversation I'm going to cause her to have peace with investing.
But I will challenge all of you out there to the tune of
ten thousand dollars a year to me that means it's time for me to learn something and um now when she
bought her home house prices go up and down she did not get a guarantee from the federal government
or the ncua her house price could go down to more. But she's not concerned about that.
You know why? Most of us, when we buy a home, we don't think about the fact that it's not
federally guaranteed. The reason is track record. Track record matters.
It does. And we were just going through this, all the Ramsey personalities,
walking through it with you in a room. And we were looking at this crazy, awesome
poster, essentially, that they opened
up wide and they showed the history of the stock market. And they showed how it did before and
after some of the biggest events in American history, when you would think it would create
a lot of fear and instability, and it did short term, but then it always came back. And I think
that was one of the most powerful illustrations I'd ever seen on what you teach and what you have been teaching.
Well, and track record is a thing.
Why are you comfortable buying a home with no guarantee?
No federally insured guarantee, right?
Because homes, if you got walking around since,
have generally gone up over the scope of your life.
I mean, first house I sold when I was 18 years old was $42,250 to a kid from my high school.
Now, that kid wasn't smart.
He bought a house from an 18-year-old.
But anyway, yeah, and, you know, it turned out to be a really smart idea
because that house today would probably be $350,000, $400,000, right?
Sure.
But that's a long time ago.
But, I mean, we've all got walking around since we can look and say, okay,
the track record of real estate is I'm not going to lose all my money.
It might have a little bump in the road or two, but I'm not going to lose all my money.
And if you actually look at the stock market, you know, with good mutual fund investing, good diversified investing, you're not going to lose all your money.
There's going to be some bumps in the road, and you're going to make money.
Now, that's the truth, but you need to get comfortable with that track record and that
history. Like you did that piece of real estate. And then you can sleep at night. Never invest
because Dave Ramsey said to always invest. Never invest because anybody said to, except you,
you need to get comfortable with it. You need to understand what you're putting money in.
And then when you understand that history, I got a lot of peace about putting money in the market.
No trouble for it.
No trouble with it for me at all.
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Sarah's in Houston.
Hi, Sarah.
Welcome to The Ramsey Show.
Hi.
How are you guys?
Better than we deserve. How can we help?
Good. Well, I have a two-part question about a job change.
I just recently went through a job change after nearly 15 years with my previous employer,
who I started with right out of college.
So this is a pretty big shift.
So I'm trying to figure out is what is a reasonable timeline for feeling settled with this new job,
meaning that you're understanding processes, you're building those relationships with people,
and it's just understanding how things work.
And then the second question is how do I discern if kind of the overwhelming stress that I'm feeling is normal
for starting with a new company after such a long time with a different company,
or if it could be a symptom of a larger problem. How long have you been there?
I started, it's been about four months. What do you do? I'm a project manager.
Okay. Yeah, so there's no set rule on how long it takes somebody to get settled. There's no
just hard and fast rule, but I will tell you that being settled will
happen when you get over some of the natural fears and doubts of starting something new. That's just
natural. I don't care what area of life we're talking about. We've been doing something for
a very long time, and 15 years is a long time. It's the only culture you've ever known. The way
they did work at that last company was all you've ever known. So I think the settling will take care of itself. I think the bigger thing that I want to
know is what are your concerns? What are you feeling concerned about right now? I want to
find out if there's some depth to that or if that's just kind of some natural stuff going on.
Yeah. I mean, I guess at my previous employer, I felt confident that I had built a very good reputation and that, you know, my loyalty to the company and I always had the company's best interest in my heart.
So if I made a mistake, you know, it's kind of like, okay, well, you know, we'll work through that.
At a new company, it's all new people and I have a lot of responsibility and this is the exact kind of job that I've been wanting.
So I love it.
Okay.
But I'm also just afraid.
That's 100% what's going on.
So let's start with reality.
In four months' time, you cannot build a reputation.
You can make an impression.
You can build a bad reputation.
Yeah, you can.
That's right.
But a good reputation is developed over time.
So right now, we're trying to make a good impression, and you're really worried, and
I understand that.
But here's the deal.
If you look back on your past job, you developed the reputation to where if a mistake was made,
they understood this is a rarity, and this is not a character problem, and it's not a
competency problem.
It's just the natural workflow.
We all make mistakes.
But you developed that over time, so give yourself a break. You You got to remember your history. You developed it before, you'll
develop it again. And so what right now, this is a mindset thing. So here's a little exercise.
When you start to feel that fear and kind of worry pop up during the day, you need to just
find yourself a quiet moment, even if it's just shutting down the email. People think you're
looking at your computer, but you're just going to run through a mental exercise.
Does this fear have any evidence that it's true?
And if it has no evidence that it's true, we know that it's our mind, and it's based on fear, and it's going to hold me back.
And so then we flush it.
If it's true, then that means fear is protecting you from something. But in this case, you have no history at all that says that you're going to make a bunch of
mistakes at this new company in a job that you've longed for and you worked hard for. There's no
evidence that says you're going to create a bunch of problems and mistakes that they're going to
fire you. You would have to really intentionally do something boneheaded to get to that place.
True or false? all right true so
believe in yourself invest in yourself and operate in confidence because you've been there before
yeah that's fair that's very fair okay anytime you do anything for 15 years doing the same thing
in a different place is going to take a little while period whether it's job or his job whether it's a relationship
whether it's uh you know you change cars you've been driven one kind of car and you get a different
kind of car it's going to feel weird going down the highway i mean it just takes a little while
it's just uh whatever the thing is and so because our human mind gets in a groove or a rut one of
the two and um you know and now you bumped up out of that and you're in the uh
you're in the land of adventure darling you know it's not unlike uh marriage when you when you've
grown up so we had we went to dinner with a young couple the other night dave uh stacy and i and
they've just gotten married stacy and i are coming up on 25 years and they were just saying what what
advice would you give us and stacy gave some some great advice, way better than mine. But one of the things I said was, is that realize that first year is so difficult because
you've grown up in one home, both of you've grown up in different homes where there was
a rhythm of how life was done.
So maybe the dad did things this way in your home, but the dad completely did something
different over here.
And so you both are bringing expectations based on
the environment you grew up in. And all of a sudden you get two completely different expectations
because of different experiences and environments. And so you got to learn to adjust to each other
in marriage. And I think this is a very similar situation. All she ever knew was the way that
company did work. And a company has a very unique culture. If you come to Ramsey Solutions and you've
never been in a place like this before, man, it'll blow your mind how we care for each other,
how we communicate so unbelievably clearly, very intentionally. And so any place, good or bad,
is going to take some time because it's a really different environment.
Yep. It just takes a minute. It takes a minute to get your footing. It's that simple. So,
Sarah, I like what you did, though.
I like your spirit of adventure.
I like that you stepped out on this and said, I'm going to go do something big.
It's time to shake off the cobwebs.
And, yeah, good for you.
Good for you.
It's going to pay off for you.
It's going to pay off for you.
Good stuff.
Buvana is with us in D.C.
Hey, Buvana, what's up?
Hi, Mr. Ramsey.
Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. How
can we help? Sure. So I am 23 years old and I'm going to be starting medical school in a few
months. Congratulations. Thank you. I want to first of all say I'm super blessed. I was able
to go to undergrad for almost next to nothing. And so most of my 529, I think will cover all
of my medical education expenses. Yes. My, Yes, my parents were really generous with that.
And I'm almost certain it'll cover all the expenses, but I do have $30,000 in savings.
And so I'm wondering whether I should keep, how to kind of divvy that up in terms of whether I should keep some of it just in case I have a couple thousand dollars left over that I do need to end up paying for if I should start investing because I know my retirement investments will be probably
four to six years delayed compared to most people who are starting work now.
Yeah, and it'll be four to six times more income.
That's true.
So I think you'll be okay.
Listen, the best possible investment Buvana can make right now is in Buvana.
Yes. You are what's known as a cash machine you are getting ready to make some serious bank because dumb people don't get into med school
they don't let them in and so um you know you're going to go through this you're going to graduate
you're going to pass your boards and doing all of that with zero debt and starting off your career with zero debt is the
best investment you can possibly make you are a better return on investment than a mutual fund is
that's good to know yeah so just trap all that money and i want you listen you did a lot of
planning you did a lot of uh scheming scamming. You've laid everything out.
You've dreamed about this in detail.
Now do the same thing for the money part of it.
Okay. You sound a little bit kind of wishy-washy and disorganized about whether the money is actually going to make it or not.
I want you to sit down and develop a plan where the money makes it.
Your money makes it.
And graduate with $30,000 still in the bank.
That would be great.
I want you to lay out a detailed HD high definition game plan to get through
med school with the money you've got.
And that's going to keep you from buying stupid butt stuff when you're tired,
stressed out,
taking some tests in the middle of the night.
And so seriously lay it out in detail.
This is The Ramsey Show.
If you've got debt,
and now you've got inflation stealing more and more of your paycheck,
I know a lot of folks out there feel like you're drowning.
You're scared.
Understand, I've been there it's no
fun and you shouldn't have to live with that kind of stress if you want things to change though let
me tell you who's going to change them you you've got to finally back up and say that's it i've had
it when you've had your i've had it moment the next thing you need to know is how do I fix this dadgum mess I made?
Let me tell you what.
I've got the solution.
For 30 years, we've had 10 million people now go through Financial Peace University,
our nine-lesson course that'll teach you how to get out of debt, become wealthy, and outrageously generous.
And it really does work. It is the largest course on how to handle money in America today.
By far, nobody's even close.
Check it out.
If you want to know more about it, just go to RamseySolutions.com slash FPU.
RamseySolutions.com slash FPU.
And we can show you how to walk away from the fear.
Is it going to be easy?
Well, crap no, it's not going to be easy.
Making the mess was easy.
Getting out of it isn't going to be easy.
And it's going to take you about half as long to get out as it took you to get in.
So if you've made a mess for four years, count on about two years to get your butt out.
Not two minutes. we don't sell
microwaves around here food isn't worth eating we sell crock pots no such thing ken i've been all
over america i've never seen anybody put the phrase good microwave barbecue in one sentence
that's exactly right there's no such thing no no thing. You got to cook it until the dog next door is howling.
Low and slow.
That's it, man.
You just got to, the animals, animals have to be stirred up from the smoke.
That's how it works.
And life is that way.
The good stuff.
It's true.
You know, it requires putting some calluses on your brain and on your hands.
It requires doing some things you've never done and being uncomfortable.
Because comfortable is what got you into the dadgum mess.
That's the deal.
Open phones at 888-825-5225.
Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.
Alec is in Atlanta.
Hi, Alec.
How are you?
Hey, guys.
So much for taking my call.
Sure.
What's up?
So I recently completed baby step three, and within the next two to three years,
I'm going to have to get a newer car. Good. And when the time comes, I just want to know,
should I use my emergency fund to pay for this newer car or should I, you know, start saving
up money in a completely different savings account. We call it an emergency fund because you use it for emergencies.
Buying a car that you plan to buy a year and a half from now is not an emergency.
So you save up and pay for it.
Aside from your emergency fund.
Don't touch your emergency fund for something that's not an emergency.
That make sense?
Clear as mud okay well don't use your emergency buying a car is not an emergency unless your car just
disappeared last night and you had no insurance sure now that's an emergency okay the car gets
totaled and you had no insurance right that would an emergency. But right now you're telling me I got 18 months to save up for a car.
That's not an emergency.
Buying tires, going on vacation.
Christmas is not an emergency.
It's always in December.
They don't move it.
Follow the difference?
An emergency is known as an unexpected event.
You've clearly made this an expected event.
Yeah. So there you go. Hopefully that clears the mud up. mud up but yeah that's what we're going to do there save up and pay cash
for it and by the way anything else you buy for the rest of your life you're going to save up and
pay cash so you don't fall back into debt fall back most people don't fall into that they strut
oh yeah sometimes they jump into it jump into it like a jumping into the
death okay you know there's a hold on before you go there dave because this is interesting i'm
listening to that and hit the psychology going on and he's wrestling with that
and i think there's some other people maybe knew the show that are kind of wrestling with that too
well dave the car is just not going to last much more than 18 months why can't i use the mercy fund
and i think it's the difference between the expected and the unexpected. And it gets back to this financial
peace phrase we use all the time on the show. Why are we so clear on that to say, hey, you know you
need a car. Why is it a better financial decision to save up for that than it is to just go ahead
and use that money that's already saved? Let, the same, because here's, let's just be real clear.
If you use your emergency fund, you have to stop everything you're doing and replenish
it.
That's correct.
Because you're going to, otherwise you're going to attract an emergency.
Right.
So, yeah, it's not, I used to work with a guy a thousand years ago.
He said, people use their savings account as a put and take account.
Put in, take it out.
Put in, take it out.
Put in, take it out.
And they never have any savings as a result it's just a it's a glorified checking account that lasts a little
bit longer than two weeks you know that's good so it's a put and take account and if you if you
use your savings that way instead of using a named account okay this name this account has a name
emergency fund we don't touch it except for emergencies this account is the car account and if i use that money to buy a couch no car
right if it's the couch account and i use it to buy a car no couch so you're by naming it you
realize you're violating your former intention because you're being an impulsive little child
that's typically what
happens with me anyway yeah that's right it's not a bass boat account i mean really seriously
those fish are not going to outrun you it's okay and so you can get a you can go with the old slow
motor it'll work it gets you there it's they're still going to be in the lake and uh but you know
we have to go 126 miles an hour apparently to catch a bass because they're really fast
so so it creates a boundary a real mental boundary developed over time of discipline to say we're not touching this and
then we begin to adjust to that it is a boundary and and it's a muscle in the same sense you know
like one of the things i did for years and years and years i don't do it formally this way anymore
i've got a different process now that we have the family foundation but i did giving that way yeah
and it was an interesting thing once i moved money out of my checking account into the generosity account
i didn't feel like i owned it anymore right it was gone i just hadn't placed it yeah that's good
you know what i mean and that wasn't sure but that that was just a psychological thing that by
renaming it i had released the ownership of it already to generosity and so it wasn't hard for me to give then when a need came up in front of us it was just because
it was already in a sense given and now when we move it into the ramsey family foundation it's
the same thing it's just a little bit more formal a little bit more sophisticated with the niece
running all of our giving and all that but the uh uh but but still i still think i mean if you
just earmark it for something then you feel like you're violating something if you don't use it for
that yeah i i feel the same thing happened to stacy and i when we first started the envelope
system because then it was like i would second guess that's what you're supposed to do if i know
but it's like you don't use your food money out of your food envelope. Put gas in the car.
Right.
Because you can't eat gas, so it's not food.
So it's not an emergency.
You don't use the emergency fund. And we don't use your car fund for an emergency unless it's a huge emergency and you had to liquidate everything else.
But by then, what you're doing is you're realizing, you're setting up up boundaries like you said it put in place to
make yourself realizing you are changing plans yes and you have to say i am changing plans
and really and if you're married you're talking to your spouse about that you're going we are
getting ready to use the car money to go to europe are you getting that okay or we're going to uh
use the europe money to get a car whatever it is
because we're changing the plan and uh instead of like instead of just living with this uh waves of
of impulse yes coming over us and you you own it so you can change it i could take money back out
of that generosity account and buy a car with it i I can do that, but it's a change of plan, and it would feel weird.
Here's another one where that comes up.
If you ever move money, if you ever put some money,
even if it's birthday money or something, in a kid's savings account,
well, the kid doesn't own any money in America until they're 18.
You can't do contract law.
So that account is not in the kid's name.
It's in the parent's name.
The kid's name of the parent is a custodian.
You cannot do business until you're 18.
And so technically, kids don't own money.
Shocking.
I know.
Technically, they don't.
And so I could take that kid's money and buy a car with it.
Because it's not really their money.
Wouldn't that feel gross
yes absolutely that would feel gross i feel like i had done something like a bad parent or something
because you would be this is the ramsey show if you're a new listener and you want to get deeper into all this uh backstory stuff like
baby steps and debt snowballs go to ramsey solutions.com click on the get started button
it's completely free by the way and we'll help you figure out the best
next step for your financial journey based on exactly where you are today we will show you
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and success so get started click it at ramsey solutions. If you're brand new, we'll get you moving. Jefferson Toledo.
Hi, Jeff.
Welcome to the Ramsey Show.
Hey, Dave.
Thank you for taking my call, my friend.
I just want to tell you right up front that your riveting message has meant a lot to my family over the years.
And we did FPU about 14 years ago, changed my life, changed my family tree.
I'm honored.
Thank you for that.
Honored.
Thank you.
No problem. My main question is, I think I did a little bit of a boo-boo, Dave,
and I'm kind of retracting from it. And I have a feeling that your answer is going to end up being not exactly what you want to say or what's best interest for me and my family. And here's why.
So basically my wife passed away about a year and a half ago of ovarian cancer.
Oh my wonderful Christian woman.
She was a warrior.
She was,
she was,
she went through FPU with me many years ago.
It wasn't necessarily her strength.
I was the nerd in the family and,
and took care of the finances.
But she,
while during this cancer journey, says, I think I need to leave a legacy for our adult children,
our upcoming adult children. And I said, well, how do you feel you want to do this? She said,
I think we need to go to the title lawyer and include our kids in on the, and do a quick claim
deed and include them in on 25% of the equity in
our home, which we have a hundred percent equity on a home in Finley, Ohio. That's a worth right
about between seven 50 and 800 K. So I really don't. Uh, so what I did is I was in the midst of,
uh, really all hands on deck with her ovarian cancer journey, and it was very difficult, and I wasn't really in my right mind,
and I signed it.
And I think that releasing this money,
because I'm actually getting married to a wonderful gal from Dallas, Texas,
and she's incredible.
We have a long-distance relationship.
Long story short, I really feel that I'm putting a house up on the market,
and we've already got a couple potential buyers.
I know the children.
My daughter's 18, senior in high school, and my son is 21 down in Orlando.
And so basically what's going to happen is when we sell this home,
they're going to get to the tune of about $175K to $200K each.
And I feel like it's going to be, it's not going to teach them the right things.
Yes.
They each got 25%?
Yes.
I signed the quick claim deed.
I thought you didn't give them a quarter.
You gave them a quarter each.
A quarter each, so if they sell for $800,000, I get $200,000.
I got you.
Okay.
All right.
So I feel like it's teaching them the wrong message,
and they're getting a windfall at a very young age.
Now, granted, they have the right to do what they want with the money,
and I wanted to get your opinion on,
am I not a man of principle if I try to retract this
and get them signed back off of it before we sell this house?
Or is it a good idea to just follow through with my commitment
that I made with my wife because she wanted to leave a legacy for our kids.
Trying to think what I would do.
A good way to solve ethics questions is get on the other side and walk in the moccasins.
Treat other people like you'd want to be treated kind of thing.
And so I do not hear you wanting to take this money and buy your new wife a mercedes i hear you uh worried about your kids being burdened with the weight of
this that's what i heard you say and so you are putting their best interest at heart so that does
not make you lacking in principle it makes you quite the opposite um what would i do if i were in your shoes uh because we do want to carry this equity into
our home that we want to live we want to live in atlanta i think what i would do for sure is um
i would do a will immediately and uh and a prenup that protects their portion uh were you to pass
okay and so and then i would ask them i would ask them to lead it back to you and then you say
i'm going to leave you all of the money from this house if i die and at a later point um you know as you guys get a little
bit older i'm going to help you with some other things anyway but you're going to end up getting
this all the money from the house not just a fourth each you're going to get a 50 each when i
die and uh because i'm going to protect that with a prenup and i'm going to protect that with a will
but my children are pretty bound and determined
to get this money dave oh well that's then they're not going to sign the quick claim if they don't
want to sign the quick claim they want to sign if they don't want to sign it you can't make them
sign it yeah i'm worried about the relational i'm worried about the relational aspect i think
dave's right you know put yourself in your kids shoes to the best of your ability to say you've
told them this this was your this was their mother's dying wish you told them it was gonna
happen and now you're changing your mind and we're not questioning the principle
of the change but you have to put yourself in their shoes and what is this
gonna do to your relationship and I think you have to consider that because that to me is the bigger long-term issue
yeah you add it you added color to this equation when you said they didn't want to do it that was
the first part first time in the conversation we heard that part so that does change now again
they're going based on hey this is our mother's wishes yeah what we should she because it was
now i was a little queasy well i don't care you did and i wasn't in my right mind yeah you did it um i did it yeah
this would have been the good time for the nerd to say no thank you that's a bad plan uh they're
going to get it all when i die they're going to get it all when i die anyway and no i'm not giving
it giving them a fourth of the quick claim sorry you know uh that would have been the conversation
at our house but you know that's water under the bridge now now you got two kids are expecting this
and don't want to sign the quit claim you are going to step in a relationship hole here uh and
rightly so but i don't think it's a matter of you're a man of principle that's not the point
uh the the point is more the relational thing that's going to get violated here
and so i think i think they got the money dude i think you screwed up the only thing you can do the only thing you can do is try to influence
them i'm sorry no yeah that my title lawyer just told me the same thing well there's no question
from a title standpoint you can't do nothing but i was early in the conversation i was under the
impression you could get them to be willing to sign the title back over to you.
And now you're saying they don't want to do that.
Well, you can't make them do it.
Is it wrong for me to persuade them and get counsel to reverse that so that we don't, you know, what a tangled web we could weave here?
If you can persuade them without them thinking their dad's a dog.
That's the issue.
You got to be careful because they may think you talk about money here and it,
you know,
said they think this was their mom's dying wish.
And you know,
you're going to get,
now you're fighting with angels.
Do you want your kids thinking that you're greedy?
That's the risk.
No,
absolutely not.
I will tell you,
I will tell you,
I think that's the risk. A little of a tail you i will tell you i think that's the risk
the tail wagging the dog here yeah yeah i the only thing i would probably do here is say listen
if you all don't want me to handle this for you because it was your mother's dying wish i
understand that i i really think it's unwise for you to get two hundred thousand dollars at 18
years old i'm your dad i love you and i think it's going to be a problem for you rather than
a blessing but i can't i i'm not going to go back on my word if you choose to give me this quarterback i will protect you on
it but if you don't want to do that um then i'm not gonna i'm certainly not going to force it i
am going to do my best as your dad to persuade you to do smart things and not let this be a problem for you but um but yeah it was a um
you know it's horrible to say in this situation but it's a really dumb idea i mean it's just uh
but you're stuck with it now and yeah you can't force this you can't go in before the judge and
go uh your honor we want you to reverse this because I really wasn't thinking clearly. That one won't work. Yeah, right.
The judge is going to go, whoops, sorry about that, stupid text time.
So, yeah, hopefully you can just persuade them that their best interest is at heart.
And if you can't, then persuade them to do something wise and let you help them,
help lead them through good decisions with the money.
But I think the money's probably gone, that's what it sounds like to me.
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Hey, it's Ken.
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