The Ramsey Show - App - I Feel Let Down That My Son Is Quitting Football (Hour 2)

Episode Date: March 19, 2021

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Starting point is 00:00:00 live from the headquarters of ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is the Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. My name is Anthony O'Neill, host of the popular YouTube and podcast show, The Table, with Anthony O'Neill. And co-hosting with me today is the one and only national best-selling author, Dr. John Deloney, the host of The Dr. John Deloney Show. And together, we're going to be answering your questions, taking your phone calls. If you have any questions around your life, around your money, around relationships, around your mental health, around anxiety, around depression, around boyfriend-girlfriend stuff, around married couple stuff.
Starting point is 00:01:08 Hey, listen, this is The Ramsey Show. We want to help you out in every area of your life and give you some guidance, give you some answers. So give us a call, 888-825-5225, 888-825-5225. And we'll have a conversation with you. How's the show coming, man? I was just still marveling at how you managed to pull off naming your show The Table. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:01:36 You know it's all good. That's an inside joke for those of us who thought, hey, what if we didn't name the show after ourselves? And I lost that, clearly. We had a lot of meetings to come up with
Starting point is 00:01:49 the creatively titled John Deloney Show. But the Dr. John Deloney Show is a great title, bro. It is. And it's doing well. My mom named it. Yeah, man,
Starting point is 00:01:56 it's just on a rocket ship. We're having fun. I don't pay a lot of attention to that stuff as much as the calls that are coming in and the amount of calls people are reaching out.
Starting point is 00:02:05 So it's really great. New episodes every Monday, Wednesday and Friday on YouTube and anywhere you listen to podcasts. This man is really doing a great, great, great job helping people out with their mental health. So listen, check this out. If you have a question for him, not only can you ask him the questions right here on the ramsey show but you can email ask john at ramsey solutions.com again that's ask john at ramsey solutions.com or leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291 again that is 844-693-3291 and for a chance to have your question featured on his show. And this man gets some interesting questions that I'm so grateful.
Starting point is 00:02:53 Well, the company is probably grateful I'm not on the other side answering questions. Hey, one day you're going to come on the show and you're going to answer the calls live as they come in. And we're just going to get ourselves canceled and be done. Listen, man, I think the people will love my answer. I'll just get a phone call from Dave. That would be the truth. But give us a call, you guys. 888-825-5225.
Starting point is 00:03:14 We're here for this hour to take your questions. And Joshua's with us in New York City. Good afternoon, Joshua. How can Dr. D and I help? Hey, good afternoon, Anthony. Thanks for having me on. No, thank you for calling in. Sorry about that.
Starting point is 00:03:27 Quick background for my question. I am 23, married with one kid, currently on active duty, and I'm considering transitioning back to civilian life. Okay. I am looking at using my VA loan to buy a house. Okay. So a little bit of our financial situation with debt free we have about 30,000 savings uh currently investing 16 with a five percent match into tsp um so we figure we can afford
Starting point is 00:03:55 about a two hundred thousand dollar house with 20,000 down um my question is should i spend that much i don't should i buy something cheaper and put the $20,000 into renovating it? I think that's totally up to you, Joshua. My whole thing is with that VA loan, just be very careful. I want you to put down at least 20%, 10% to 20%, actually 20% so you can avoid some other stuff within it. Personally, more of a conventional loan, to be honest, as well. But as far as in the kind of house that you purchase, I it's really up to you and your family.
Starting point is 00:04:29 If you all want to get into a house that you actually mark up, not mark up that you build up, that's fine as well. But the amount down has nothing to do with that though. The amount down goes down to, I want you to avoid the PMmi and i want you to have equity in your house and you need at least 20 equity in your home to avoid a private mortgage insurance that would be also attached to your loan so i'm going to say always stick to that
Starting point is 00:04:59 20 going down bare minimum is 10 but if you want to get a house with 20 down to buy something that you can do a fixer-upper uh that's fine but if this is going to be your family's home forever home uh then man i'm actually going with something newer and i'm just going to just go that route so i don't that way i don't have any headaches joshua i think it's a personal decision with you and your wife. I tend towards buying a less expensive house. Anthony likes his stuff fancier than me. And I'm not even, I mean, that's not knocking anybody. Everybody just does that a little bit different.
Starting point is 00:05:38 I like to spend my money in other places. And so I think that's just going to be a personal decision. I would, before you just go sign on a VA loan, do call and call the mortgage company that's not associated with the VA. Yeah. That you are going to get a higher rate sometimes with the VA. Absolutely. And if you've got that much money down, there's no sense in even going through it if it's not the best rate and they're not going to treat you right. Yeah. So call Churchill Mortgage, get a good rate from them, and let them know that you're a veteran and have them walk you through that process.
Starting point is 00:06:06 I totally respect the veteran process, but I agree with Dr. D here. I would definitely call Churchill Mortgage. See if you can get into a – not see, get into a conventional loan with that 20% down, and you'll be better off there. I can almost guarantee you on that. And you know what, Dr. D? This is what I like to tell people is you just said something that's so good you you would tend to go towards a cheaper um home i do like my stuff probably a little bit more fancy there's nothing wrong with either one of us no because we worked hard we followed the baby steps and we worked hard so
Starting point is 00:06:42 we can do what we want to do right um you know you like going you know shooting and and and um hunting i don't that ain't me right you like golfing i like golfing you know what i'm saying but yeah who wants to sit out there in a cold weather waiting on deers to come by all day who wants to chase a silly white ball all day. Yes, me. Just dragging a bag of clubs. Hey, yes. Come on, man. But see, here's the thing, though, America. Once you actually do the work, you do the work so you can have freedom and options to do what you want to do.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Right. And I think that's the beauty of this plan is you're going to live like no one else. So you can live like no one else. You can live the way you and your family wants to live. Stop. Stop. America. Oh, you shouldn't do that. You should go buy a Dave car. Well, listen here. I don't think. Well, I won't say that. But Dave Carr doesn't have to be a hoopty. OK. You know, you can literally do what you want to do. And that's one thing that I really want people to know is like, hey, make the best decision for you and your family. Loans are debt-free. Loans, you got a fully funded emergency fund and you're investing into your future.
Starting point is 00:07:57 Make the decision that's best for you. I may not like your decision, but who cares? If you're debt-free, you follow the baby steps, go do you. And that's why you got friends to come over and give you a hard time on your front porch about your decisions, right? Yes. To laugh at you about playing golf, for God's sake. Oh, my goodness, man. You know what?
Starting point is 00:08:16 Hey, listen. Me and Dave love playing golf. I was going to say you could be like old man and Dave does both of them. Dave does. Dave does. And he's good at both of them, too. Especially the hunting part. Oh, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:08:26 I love it. 888-825-5225. We're here one more hour with you all right here on The Ramsey Show. One of the questions I get all the time is, which life insurance company should I use for my term life policy? A valid question since there are hundreds of companies out there with rates all over the place and riders and add-ons that are simply a waste of money. You need to get this done and make the right decision. That's why the only company I use and have recommended for over
Starting point is 00:09:16 20 years is Zander Insurance. Zander is a broker who shops the top term life companies for you and finds the best rates available from the only plans I recommend. They also save you time. Whether you want to work online, over the phone, or via text, their team will cater to your needs and help you make the right decision. This is an absolute necessity, and Zander has made the process easy and convenient. Call them at 800-356-4282 or visit zander.com for instant online quotes. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. My name is Anthony O'Neill, Ramsey personality.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Joined in the studio with me is Dr. John Deloney, also a Ramsey personality. And James is with us in Austin, Texas. Good afternoon, James. How can Dr. D and I help? Yes, I was calling to see how do I help my mother get current owner bills while in baby step number two? While you are in baby step number two, James? Yes, sir. Okay, cool.
Starting point is 00:10:32 How much debt are you currently in right now? Right now, I have, I mean, it's a car loan. I'm consolidated. It's probably about 17 grand or two. It's consolidated. When you say consolidated, what do you mean? What do you mean? Like I have two car notes on one.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Oh, okay. Okay, I got you. All right, so $17,000. All right, got you. Two cars. All right. And now what's the responsibility with your mom? Are you trying to help her with her car note, her credit card bills, too?
Starting point is 00:11:07 No, sir. I'm just trying to help her at least get caught up on her bills, like as far as everyday essential bills. Like lights, gas, utilities, stuff like that. Yes, sir. And what's the ballpark of that? Currently, she just doesn't make enough and i heard she's having health problems so she can't really uh do much as far as she just works part-time right now okay so what's the what is the if you get her current today what does it look like next what does it look like um april 1st
Starting point is 00:11:41 and may 1st it's probably going to be continuous, honestly. Is she or is y'all's relationship such that you could sit down and talk to her about moving, coming up with a new plan, or is this, I know these messy situations where she's just, is going to
Starting point is 00:12:00 do what she's going to do, and that you have to make hard, hard choices? Right. I mean, I've tried to talk to her about it. There are days that she seems like she's on board, others that she's not. But it's just one of those deals. At the end of the day, she's just not making much income. And due to her health problems, she can't really do much as far as an actual 9-to-5 job.
Starting point is 00:12:25 Are you the only child, James? No, sir. I have two other brothers. Okay. And are they trying to help as well? They do when they can. One of them is still underage. The other one is working, and he's in a mess himself as far as financial goes cool when you say uh underage
Starting point is 00:12:48 so you have a little brother still living at home in this situation yes i do and that's that's what i'm uh i feel like i'm kind of trapped because uh i mean at the end of the day, I mean, not only that she has, like, health problems, it's kind of hard to see her fall and my younger brother just there to fall with her because of me can't really do much. Yeah. How old are you real quick, James? I'm 23. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:20 You married? I'm engaged. Engaged. Ah, okay. Okay. So this is a hard situation that's going to – here's the challenge for you. One, you've got a little brother here. You've got a minor in a situation. And if your mom falls too far behind, if her health problems become too big of a situation where she can't take care of him, he's going to get taken out of that house, and you know that. Right.
Starting point is 00:13:49 You also don't want to see your mom get foreclosed on, right, get her home taken away or become homeless, and at the same time, you're not in a position to do a whole lot of help, and so you end up trying to float until the next month into the next month, and then it just turns into this cyclical cycle of cyclical cycle. That's that was redundant, but you end up in this situation that never gets any better. Right?
Starting point is 00:14:13 So what you've got to do less than, um, worried about the baby steps at this point, you've got to get all of your brothers in a room. You got to get your mom in a room and you all have to have a map it out, plan it out, truth telling conversation. And if mom can't hear it and doesn't want to be on board, then what you're going to have to do is figure out a situation for your little brother, whether that you invite him to come live with you or one of your other brothers can take care of
Starting point is 00:14:39 him. You've got a minor that you got to deal with and I'm worried about him getting taken away. And number two, I don't know if you've got to sit down with Social Security, whether you've got to sit down with community resources there in Austin. I know there's a million community resources there. But you're at a place now where the action is not, hey, how can I get a few more extra bucks to help this thing? Because this thing is systemic. This thing is ongoing. So somebody, and I'm looking at you now because you called us has to plant a flag
Starting point is 00:15:06 in the yard and say no more as a group as a family i'm calling this part's over we may all have to work a little bit differently it may be three or four years of us doing things that we don't want to be doing to help out mom to help out little brother to change the entire trajectory of the ship but man just saying hey how do i budget this is a bigger bigger deal than that right and this is not going to be easy no it's not your brothers are going to hate on you your mother's going to look at you and say who do you think you are talking to me your little brother's probably got his friends and his community it's going to be hard but somebody's got to turn and stare down this forest fire and say no more
Starting point is 00:15:44 right and i think the turning point for me was when you said hey even if i caught my mother up It's going to be hard, but somebody's got to turn and stare down this forest fire and say no more. Right. And I think the turning point for me was when you said, hey, even if I caught my mother up, my mother up today, we're going to have the same problems going into the next month. Right. So, James, here is my and everyone listening in America. And I say this all the time. Your home is your priority. Okay. your home is your priority okay there's nothing wrong with telling your parents hey i can help but here's my limit if that's a hundred dollars a month that's your limit you are helping
Starting point is 00:16:15 if you are not in a position to help there is nothing wrong with saying hey i cannot help i have a responsibility to take care of my home, to set myself up to be able to provide for me and my future wife. That's my responsibility. And so I think before you go to this meeting, because Dr. D is right, you have to have a family meeting. Before you go to that family meeting, you need to sit down, look at your budget, because paying off your debt is your priority. But I have no problem with you saying, hey, mom, I'm going to give you $100 because I understand you're going through a health issue. You have some other stuff. So here's $100.
Starting point is 00:16:51 Here's $200. Here's that number that doesn't hurt you and prevent you from paying and attacking, and hear me clearly, is get married. And then now you and your wife are having arguments about your mom. And that's your mother outside of your house. And I want to be sensitive because if my parents were hurting, man, I'm going to help. But I would definitely say I'm going to help. But there's a limit at my help. And I think the responsibility has to come back on your mom to really step up and to really start taking care of herself and her son.
Starting point is 00:17:28 Or allow herself to be taken care of, right? Which may mean we've got to sell this house. We're going to have to move down to a one bedroom, right? So it may be that her health problems and any number of other issues aren't going to allow her to go get another job, to go
Starting point is 00:17:43 work three jobs to pick this up, but you've got to allow yourself then to be helped, right? You have to. Alright, so today's Blinds.com. Find out for yourself why Blinds.com is the number one online retailer of custom window covering. You get free samples, free shipping with the new promos they run every month. You'll save even
Starting point is 00:18:00 more. Use promo code RAMSY to get the best deal. Rules and restrictions apply. Anthony, I can't wait to get your answer on this. Today's question comes from Scott in Detroit. My oldest son doesn't want to play high school football anymore, and I
Starting point is 00:18:16 feel like I've been punched in the gut. How do I get over being disappointed about this? This is a real question? This is a real question. That's a real question. Ma, you got punched in the gut because your son says he doesn't want to get punched in the gut?
Starting point is 00:18:34 I mean, you're the expert on this. I'm asking you. So take football out. I think your son has the right to choose what sports and what activities he desires to do. It's not your son has the right to choose what sports and what activities he desires to do it's not your son's job to live your dreams
Starting point is 00:18:49 or the dreams you didn't accomplish and it sounds like the father is upset that you know his son is not playing a sport that he really wanted to play and so it's bad for us to push our dreams onto our children when they're not theirs.
Starting point is 00:19:05 We have a society of parents living vicariously through their children. Yep. I want them to get grades so I can go tell some I want to play soccer so that I can tell my kids that my kid got a soccer scholarship. Scott, go hug your son. Go hug. Go hug your son and then
Starting point is 00:19:22 be a Camichelo fan or a flute plant fan or whatever he's going to do. Be a Go hug your son and then be a Comichello fan or a flute fan or whatever he's going to do. Be a fan of your son, not what your son does. That's it? Man, stop. I'm not going to say anything else. This is the Ramsey Show. welcome back to the randy show my name is anthony o'neill ramsey personality number one national best-selling author of the book debt-free degree and joining
Starting point is 00:20:05 me in the studio today is also a national best-selling author um and the host of the dr john deloney show the one and only dr john deloney so anthony hey you hit a big milestone with the anthony o'neill YouTube channel, the show. Tell us what's going on. Oh, man. We're just impacting lives, having a real relevant and relatable conversation around how to build true wealth and get out of debt and really start building healthy relationships, man. And so we're going rapidly fast over there, doing our show over there. And a lot of people ask questions know, ask questions and some people get offended, but I mean, um, you know,
Starting point is 00:20:45 my audience is, I really have a heart for that younger generation, that 18 to about 34, uh, because I think we do a lot for the adults. I think we do a lot for that older generation, but, um,
Starting point is 00:20:56 I think the best time to hit them is when they're 18 is when they're 19, when they're 20, when they just now leaving the house, because I remember that season when I left my house at 18 years old i racked up 35 000 in debt 15 000 in credit card 10 000 in furniture bill from a particular furniture store i would not name here and then 10 000 in student loans and and when i really stepped back and looked at why did I make those decisions? It was because I was trying to impress my peers. I was trying to impress the ladies, just to be honest. I was trying to look like how I wanted to be received rather than actually just be who God
Starting point is 00:21:38 made me to be. And culture, the world, the community said, hey, this is how you have to be. This is how you have to look. This is how you have to act to be successful and to be respected. And so I racked up all that debt at age of 18, man, and made some dumb decisions, just to be real. Got into an argument with my father. Thought I was a grown man when I wasn't a grown man. Ended up homeless, sleeping in the back of my car for a period of my life, all because of the poor decisions that I made. And so when I look at my brand now, it's
Starting point is 00:22:10 like, man, I really want to speak to that 18 year old. I really want to speak to that 19 year old. I have a heart for everyone, but my passion is really to that young person, 18 to 34, who, if they just avoid debt, man, they can be wealthy and retire when they turn 45 50 years old if they can avoid debt avoid taking out student loans and graduate college and land a job making 80 000 to 100 000 a year and they start investing 15 of their income now they're focusing on building their last name and purchasing homes at a young age and starting businesses at a young age and so over at the table man with anthony'Neill, I'm having that real relevant culture talk. I'm going against what culture is teaching and I'm attacking it.
Starting point is 00:22:53 You know, so the language over there is a little different. But it's because I'm going after a particular culture that is saying, hey, to be cool, to be sexy, to be half swag. You got to be in debt. You got to be sexy to be half swag you got to be in debt you got to be like this no i think being saved uh being debt free being married to one woman being married to one man that's the new cool that's the new sexy and so that's the conversation we're having over there man just keeping it real relevant i love it man well and it's it's it sounds like people are desperate for somebody to cut through the nonsense and just tell them the truth oh yeah right yeah to listen to actually listen yeah and then to provide absolutely that's the truth. Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. To listen, to actually listen. Yeah. And then to provide some truth.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Thanks for asking for that, man. But America, if y'all know anybody or if this is you in that age bracket, man, send them over. You know, they can go over
Starting point is 00:23:34 to my Instagram at Anthony O'Neill or go over to my YouTube channel that is also The Table with Anthony O'Neill. Man, we are at 220,000 subscribers.
Starting point is 00:23:43 I don't know what God is doing, but just last January we only had like 43,000 subscribers and now we are at 220,000 subscribers. I don't know what God is doing, but just last January, we only had like 43,000 subscribers, and now we're at 223. I'm like, okay, God, you're up to something. We're doing something right over there, man. I appreciate you. You was on the show, and
Starting point is 00:23:55 you rocked it, and so I love it. Rachel was on the show. It was amazing. We got to get Dave on the show. I got to talk to him first before we get on the show. Make sure Dave knows, hey, man, these is, you know, these are young people. These are a little cool. You know, can you, you know. I'm going to keep my job and keep my mouth shut at the same time.
Starting point is 00:24:14 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225. Dr. D and myself here, Anthony O'Neill, are taking your phone calls about money, about life, about anything. So give us a call. One line just opened up. Madison's sitting there looking at it saying, hey, we got one line. So give her a call. Kenan is with us in Lincoln.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Good afternoon, Kenan. This is Anthony. And Dr. Dee, how can we help? Hey, actually, I'm sorry. That was Kevin, not Kenan. Oh, what's up, Kevin? No problem. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Appreciate it. Appreciate it. So my wife and I were on baby steps four, uh, no problem. Okay. I appreciate it. Appreciate it. Um, so, uh, my wife and I were on a baby steps four, five, and six. Um, uh, let's see. Sorry. Lost my train of thought there. Um, we're on basis four, five, and six. Um, we take home usually probably maybe $2,000 more a month than our expenses. We're paying extra on the house. Of course, we're putting our 15% to retirement. And my question is, what is a reasonable amount that we can budget for, you know, fund money for just personal expenses that we don't have to clear with each other?
Starting point is 00:25:26 Is it kind of our own business? You know, I've got a lot of hobbies, my wife, not so much. So what's a reasonable amount to set aside? I mean, I think the reasonable amount, Kevin, is going to be really based upon you and your wife's comfort zone. OK, once you sit down and you all are very detailed with the budget, which it sounds like you guys are, um, I'm assuming that you're already debt free and you have a fully funded emergency fund.
Starting point is 00:25:52 And so, cause you're already on baby steps four through seven. Um, and so do you have any kids right now, Kevin? No, no kids. No kids.
Starting point is 00:25:59 All right, cool. So y'all doing 15% of the baby set number four and you're switching over to baby set number six, paying the extra in a mortgage. So you're in a perfect situation and so i think for you like something that i've um actually have my parents doing right now um my dad actually in their budget line has a certain amount of money that my mom can just go out there and spend my mom is a coupon shopper she loves couponing and she can go couponing every single day and so my dad was like
Starting point is 00:26:27 hey i don't want you to call and ask me every single day can you spend ten dollars like go spend ten dollars and so they have a line item on their budget and every dollar that says it just says wifey's aka mama because i give her some money as well um to shop and so if that budget is, say, for an example, $500, my mom just knows she has $500. But here's the thing. She updates the budget every single day. So if she spends $20, she puts $20 inside of every dollar and she knows she has $480 left to spend within that budget. So I think from you and your wife, just sit down, be very, very detailed. But
Starting point is 00:27:06 then also before you actually say, hey, Kevin, you can spend $500 on golfing or in your hobbies, baby, you can spend $500 on this. I would actually have an extra cushion for unexpected expenses for the family. So for an example, I would say here's $1,000. That's for unexpected things that may come up. We may say, hey, let's drive down to the beach and just get a room this month and just celebrate something. I don't know. I would have just an extra cushion on your budget. Then below that, have different spending amounts that you all can enjoy. Because I'm going to have that, too, because I'm a golfer.
Starting point is 00:27:41 I love playing basketball. And so I love to just do that. And I don't want to have to ask my wife, hey, babe, I want to go golfing today with the boys. I'm going to go do this. Hey, Kevin, did this pop up on a particular incident? Well, yeah, so I previously had a side hustle of doing a bicycle taxi for Husker home games and arena events, and that kind of, that took care of my personal expenses then. And, you know, that was just kind of my money that I was earning on the side. Well, COVID of course shut that down in the last year.
Starting point is 00:28:14 So I took a different job, a little part-time Saturday job, and I was miserable at it. And I just recently put in my two-week notice with it and told my wife, we're just going to have to start taking from our full-time job paychecks for some of these fun expenses that I have. And she wasn't super happy about that, but my thought process was, gosh, we're doing everything right, and we're on baby steps four, five, and six. I should be able to spend a little money here and there as long as we're still staying on track with our goals
Starting point is 00:28:48 to spend on personal expenses without having to have the nose to the grindstone. And you're both right, Kevin. You're both right. Working side hustles so you can, quote, unquote, have my money and you can't touch my money, that's going to cause problems down the road as you're experiencing now.
Starting point is 00:29:04 And at the same time, yeah, I get wanting to spend, like, have some fun, play, right? So sit down and have a hard conversation with each other. Y'all get on the same page. Y'all get this squared up, man. Y'all are good folks. This is The Ramsey Show. welcome back to the ramsey show my name is anthony o'neill sitting in joining me in the studio today is dr john deloney 888-825-5225 888-825-5225 it's the number to give us a call right now we have one phone line just opened up but before we jump back to the phone lines i want to tell y'all a quick story uh in about 30 seconds
Starting point is 00:30:10 i remember in ocean side california john i was on i was at the beach i was in my car and i was sitting there just with my friends and on this day a lot of my friends pulled up in Mercedes, pulled up in BMWs, pulled up in Lexuses, pulled up in you name it. Some real nice highline cars. And back in these days, back in the 2000s, you know, you had the spinner wheels. So when you stopped, they kept going. The wheels kept going. Right. Right. And so that was a big thing back in the day. So see, they out there laughing at me. The young was like, what is he talking about and the old one's like yeah i remember that um and so we looked like we had money we we looked like we were balling but when my boy stepped out of one of his cars me and my boy said man you know what that dude driving a fifty thousand dollar car
Starting point is 00:31:00 but he lives at home in his mom's basement another dude jumped out of his car to go to the beach and it's like hey man that's that's such and such and dude don't he stay with like six other brothers in the house and when we looked at everyone including ourselves we all looked like we'd have money but we were living paycheck to paycheck all of us had debt. All of us were just, we had the look, but we didn't have the money. And that was a day I left that beach saying, I am not going to be this guy anymore. I changed things around. I already had a job. I went out there and got two more jobs.
Starting point is 00:31:39 After I got off of my full-time job, man, I went and washed cars. And then I started delivering newspapers in the evening. Because I was like, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm sick and tired of looking like I have some money, but I have no money. Okay, but I want to stop right there because I think that's an important moment that people get hung up on. You had this moment of clarity, right? Right. I like to call it a thin space when suddenly everything gets real clear right and then you said today is this day yeah whether i'm gonna get out
Starting point is 00:32:12 of debt i'm gonna lose weight i'm gonna be a better husband i'm gonna get some new tools because i know i'm not being the dad i need to be fill in the blank yeah and then that's when it gets real hard yes yes it's not when everything you wake up the next day and it's all good, right? You do that first workout, and you are so sore that following day you can't move. Yeah, yeah. You go tell everybody how I'm going to be a new dad, and they'll roll their eyes at you. Right. Or, hey, I'm getting another job, no job, and your guys are like, all right, cool, we're still going to the beach.
Starting point is 00:32:39 Right. And suddenly you find yourself all by yourself, right? Yeah. That's right when it starts getting hard. Absolutely. And then you find yourself two weeks, three weeks, two months, three months, six months, and you're lonely. You're exhausted. You're sore.
Starting point is 00:32:52 You fill in the blank, right? Right. What kept you going? Yeah. I mean, well, here's the thing. My why. My why kept me going. I didn't want to end up like my parents.
Starting point is 00:33:04 And my parents are great people. I want to say that very clearly. I think sometimes my words get kind of misunderstood. I have great parents, but my also but also for my parents, I learned I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck. I don't want to struggle. And so I quickly turned things around. I went gazelle intense. I took financial peace university. I started learning exactly what stewardship meant. I started learning exactly what tithing actually meant and how it benefited me more than it benefited the actual church. I really started to understand what money was and how it was a tool to help me accomplish the things God has put me on this earth to do. And so I say all that to
Starting point is 00:33:46 say this, you guys, if that sounds like you to where you, you thought about money wrong, you're tired of being sick and tired. You're tired of living paycheck to paycheck. You're tired of not accomplishing your dreams. Then it's time for a new way of thinking because you have to believe you can get rid of debt and you can take you can take control of your money. Because here's the truth. You can. We all can. And it won't take nearly as long as what you think. So with Ramsey Plus, we'll kick you off with 90 days of guided help so you can put more of your money back in your bank account, not in their bank account, in your bank account. Why work Monday through Friday? Why go through Monday through Friday with labor so someone else can get the fruit of your labor? No, no, no. We're going to stop that this year because you're going to learn practical ways to get small,
Starting point is 00:34:39 consistent wins that add up to big results and better habits. And that means you'll get where you want to go faster, debt free and spending your money without worrying about a dime. This year, you can make more progress on your debt and saving than you ever have. I want you to get Ramsey Plus and start living the life you want faster. To start Ramsey Plus for free, I want you to go to DaveRamsey.com right now. I want you to go to DaveRamsey.com. I want you to sign up with Ramsey Plus. You're going to get 90 days of guided help, you guys.
Starting point is 00:35:15 This is the thing that transformed my life. And I love what we do because what we do is what I personally do. This has nothing to do with Dave Ramsey. This is Financial Peace University. Ramsey Plus changed my life. And because it changed my life, I want to help others change their lives. That's right. And Ramsey Plus is the way to go.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Love it. Sorry to sound so passionate about it, you guys. But, I mean, this thing changed my life. And my kids will never know what it feels like to struggle. My kids will never know what it feels like to see their parents living paycheck to paycheck. My kids will go to Disney World. My kids will be able to go to Israel and walk the land where Jesus walked because their father and their mother do not have debt. They're going to be so confused. Why do you have debt to the world?
Starting point is 00:36:09 Because their parents don't have it. Because of what I decided to do back when I was 22 years old. So check it out, you guys. Ramsey Plus, DaveRamsey.com. And Anthony is with us in Athens, Georgia. Good afternoon, ma'am. How can Dr. D and I help? Hey, Dr. D. Hey anthony i so my husband i'm
Starting point is 00:36:27 sorry let me start we are on baby step two we have paid off 112 000 whoa whoa whoa whoa don't go by that too quick okay we're just gonna blow by that yes let's go yeah less than a year less than a year we have gotten 112 we moved down a car and we've paid off we have a car left and some student loans and that's it very cool so what's up how can we help um so what i'm calling for is my husband recently got awarded 100 va disability and with that the kids go to college for free okay um how it works is they basically get a $1,300 a month stipend, and that can go towards whatever needs of college that it needs to go towards. And the question was, we don't want to open a 529 and have that money set just for school
Starting point is 00:37:18 if they end up getting scholarships and also having the VA money. So what amount do we save for college, if any, and would it be best to put it in a mutual fund or what's the best way to go about that? I mean, I would still go ahead and put it inside of a 529 because here's the thing. Whatever school your son or daughter goes to, you can actually withdraw.
Starting point is 00:37:42 So let's say, for an example, school costs you $10,000 a semester and they actually have some scholarships. Well, as long as you have documentation from the school, you can withdraw that $10,000. Now, you can't withdraw more than $10,000, but you can withdraw that without paying any penalties on it because it is, you can technically say it's going towards the school. But I would still invest the money into a 529 because that's going to be the best way to grow. And let's say, for example, they don't get all the scholarships and the VA and the GI Bill doesn't take care of all their school. Now you have the means to go on ahead and put inside a 529 because there are some things that will come in your benefit to actually pull out.
Starting point is 00:38:32 OK, and what's what's a good amount if that is being planned to take care of most of their college? So we still plan to put in the full amount of college or how does your son real quick? So we have two 12 year olds a three year old and an 18 month old okay cool and so here's the thing right now college right now is gonna cost you about a hundred thousand dollars um right now to go to school for a four-year degree plus room and board uh so around their age bracket is going to be right about maybe 115 so i would just look at that math and just see what do you have to do to get there to get to that 115 bracket for an in-state school. We don't do out-of-state unless we're going to pay cash to get a scholarship.
Starting point is 00:39:10 So in-state is going to cost you about 115, 120 by the time they get to that age. So just look at the numbers and see what you need to set aside to get there. But such a great question. Dr. D, such a great hour with you. James, Madison, thank you so much. America, this is the end of this hour. This is The end of this hour. This is The Ramsey Show.
Starting point is 00:39:36 This is James Childs, producer of The Ramsey Show. You can listen to all our shows with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone. Browse by topic or even send clips to your friends. Download the Ramsey Network app in your favorite app store today.

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