The Ramsey Show - App - I Found Out My Husband Owes $100,000 in Back Child Support (Hour 1)

Episode Date: November 19, 2020

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Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studio, this is the Dave Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money. My name is Anthony O'Neill, host of the popular YouTube show, The Table with A.O., and co-hosting with me today is Ken Coleman, the host of the Ken Coleman Show, the number one career podcast in the United States of America on Sirius XM, your local radio station where he's there every single day, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, not Saturdays and Sundays though, right? No, no, I'm recreating myself on the weekend, but we are having fun Monday through Friday.

I'll tell you that. Oh, man, we're having fun Monday through Friday, and today is a beautiful day. We want to have fun with you and answer any questions that you may have around life, around money, around careers. We have two guys here who are passionate about what they do, and we want to help you, America. So give us a call, 888-825-5225, 888-825-5225. Ken, before we get to the phones, man, how is your radio show doing, man? It's just booming right now. We are growing. We are approaching 60 stations in syndication.

Of course, been on SiriusXM for three years. And, of course, the podcast, we're about ready to announce a very big milestone a download number yes extraordinary and we're so grateful for that because what it says is that people are hungry to get the answer to the age-old question that every woman and man ask what should i do with my life in fact uh just minutes ago i wrapped up the ken coleman show over in studio b about 20 feet away and the last call was from namibia and so when you're going from namibia africa to nashville tennessee that's exciting stuff that people because of the podcast of the daily radio show people can listen all around the world and the youtube we're on every day at noon eastern and so what we're finding is

is that we've got an international audience that's growing because again, you know, what's fun about, about what we get to do, whether it be money, personal growth, or purpose in your life and work is that in a, in a world that is increasingly divided around politics and race and religion and sports, even the one thing that every human being shares in common is a desire to make a difference in their world. Facts. And so that's really rewarding. The audience is growing.

And it's a fun conversation because we're talking about them. We're talking about their dreams. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's so cool. So I can honestly say you're probably the number one career radio show and podcast internationally. I would hope so. I certainly are on talk radio.

We are the only syndicated national show there in that area. So we're having a lot of fun, and we're going to keep that conversation going today. So if you are feeling stuck, you know where you want to go but not how to get there, or you're just completely confused, I don't know what I want to do with my life. Or I know what I want to do. I know how to get there, but you're just scared to take that step. We're going to take those calls along with money calls, life calls, everything else. 888-825-5225.

That's Ken Coleman, Anthony O'Neill, here to take your phone calls. Let's actually talk to Amanda in Jonesboro. Good afternoon, Amanda. How can Ken and I help? So my husband and I are on Baby Step 2. We just really got started with the process. I've been trying to get him on board for a year and a half. It finally worked. We are in about $165,000 worth of debt, student loans, cars, medical debt. And we found he decided to sell his boat, which is a big deal because he just bought this boat for Duck Cunning and Duck Cunning season starts on Saturday.

And he posted it to Facebook Marketplace today. And did he break even on a boat, Amanda? Sorry to cut you off. No, he should make a little bit of a profit, maybe two grand on it because he had to kind of piece it together with the trailer and the boat and the motor and everything. But we're upside down on my Jeep Grand Cherokee by about $8,000. And I'm thinking that when this boat sells, that we need to use that money to get the vehicle out of being upside down

and then sell it because it's a very horrible car payment and I'm tired of it. So I was wondering if that's what we should do with that or if we should do something else when the vote sells. Okay, so you bought eight grand upside down on this vehicle and how much is the car worth? It's worth about $24,000. I checked KBB last night, and that's private party sale. Private party sale. Okay. And then how much do you owe on it? We owe about $32,000.

Okay. All right. All right. Owe about $32,000, $24,000. How much did you say you're going to make on the boat, you think? $2,000 more. About $10,000. We're going to make about $2,000 on it, but he's selling it for $10,500.

Okay. About $10,000. We're going to make about $2,000 on it, but he's selling it for $10,500. Okay, so you'd have $2,000. And so the question is, do you put the $2,000 on the car? Well, we put the $8,000 on the car to make it to where we can sell it at the retail price and then be out from under it. So I think what Ken and I are asking, you're getting that $10,000. This boat is not financed. So you're getting $10,000 cash for the boat? No, no, no.

Yeah, he paid for the boat. We pieced it together. We don't owe anything on the boat. Okay, that's where I'm confused. You're saying you're going to make $2,000 profit, you hope, on the boat? Yeah. Oh, good Lord. I am so sorry.

No, we're going to make $10,000 on the boat. That makes more sense, which means we could then pay off. Yes. Now I'm tracking with you. I was thinking about what he paid for it and everything. Okay. What are your other debts? So I have about $4,700 in medical debt.

I have about $8,000 in old credit card debt, $32,000 on the Jeep, about $20,000 on his truck, and then about $95,000 in student loan debt. Okay, so you understand the debt snowball. Yeah, yeah. And so now you've got a chance to make some real ground. Play this out for us here. If you pay off the difference in the Jeep, what are you going to do for a car once you sell the Jeep? My mom and dad have an extra vehicle, and so does another family friend, and so we were going to drive that until we saved up enough money to get a cash car.

All right. So, Ayo, it looks like the question is, does she skip around on the debt snowball here because she can take care of that big car payment? Yeah. Well, she's not really skipping. Okay. So she's still going to work the debt snowball. You're still going to make your minimum payments on all of them. You're still going to aggressively attack the first one. But at the same time, when you sell this boat and you get that money, then yes, immediately go ahead and just sell the car and you will put that money towards a difference. And so this way, if you sell the car for, let's say, $24,000, you're just going to put the

extra on top of that to go ahead and get rid of the car. So you're not really skipping it. So I would definitely do that, Amanda, because then from there, you're down a good amount of money. So great question. Thank you so much for calling in. And I love, Ken, what she's doing here because what they're doing is we have to plan we don't want to skip over the plan we're going to work the debt snowball but if we can sell this car and go buy a cash car great because the majority of people struggle doing just that yeah thirty two thousand dollars comes right off of the list just like that i mean that's going to feel fantastic and then she's going to take that car payment she didn't tell us what it was but she said it was ridiculous

and so all of a sudden that car payment let's just say she's going to take that car payment. She didn't tell us what it was, but she said it was ridiculous. And so all of a sudden, that car payment, let's just say she's paying $500, $600 a month on that. That goes toward that next, that smallest debt, which I think she said was $4,700 in medical debt. She's going to pay that off pretty quickly, and now they are in some serious momentum. This is good. Great stuff, Amanda. I love it. I love it. I love it.

This is The Dave Ramsey Show. Has your family grown larger over the years? Ours has too. Christian Healthcare Ministries is now helping over 425,000 members bear each other's health cost burdens. CHM offers budget-friendly options to suit a variety of needs, from the ability to choose your own medical professional to a portable program that moves with you throughout life. We even offer a generous maternity option that has helped many couples welcome new additions to the family.

Today, many of those babies have grown, gotten married, and have once again turned to CHM. This next generation trusts CHM to meet their health cost needs and be part of a faithful community as they are expecting children of their own. How about you? Would you like to be a part of our family as you grow your own? To learn more, visit us online at chministries.org slash budget and explore which options are right for you and your family. chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget. joining me in the studio today is ken coleman and myself anthony o'neill ramsey personalities and excited 888-825-5225 here on the day ramsey show if you have a question about

your career uh your money your life um anything like that man give us a call today we would love to talk to you because i'm telling you america when you have king coleman on the show and you really need to find a job right now especially around um covet time there's there's only one guy i would suggest and that's him not just because he has the wisdom because the dude is very very passionate about helping you and i'm very very passionate about once you get the job, how do we keep the money coming in? And so we're going to have a conversation with Wesley out in Rolla.

Good afternoon, Wesley. How are you doing this afternoon? How can we help? I'm good. How are you guys doing today? Doing well. Doing well, man. Did I say that name right?

Rolla? Rolla, Missouri. That's how y'all say it, man. I'm trying to tell you i love all the different towns i think the towns are so fascinating to learn the names i think it's always fun because it's a big country got a lot of cool names out there i almost messed it up i was about to say roll no you got it that's i would have said roll no question about it roll a rala you know who knows it's all who knows but what's going on man how can we help well um my wife and i are expecting our second child in march

this year thank you um we started our debt-free journey uh journey in january and the only thing that i have remaining is my student loans uh about eighteen thousand four hundred dollars worth um we've got thirty three thousand dollars in savings and I can write the check and we can be debt-free by the end of the year. Or I guess I was wondering, should I wait until our child is born in March to do that and continue to make the monthly payment? Or is it best just to write the check knowing that we're going to have plenty of money in savings even after the debt is gone? Well, if we do the math correctly, you have $33,000 sitting in the bank right now. You take away $18,400.

You still have about $14,000 in the account. Now, I'm a money guy. Now, I'm not a parent guy. So, Ken, you have several kids. I think $14,000 in the bank is more than enough money to have a baby. Do it now. Write the check today. Well, that's what I was feeling, but I wanted to see what you guys thought about it.

Do you know how good that's going to feel? I mean, I think if you allow yourself to think about it, you can hear all of a sudden you started laughing and chuckling about this. How good are you going to sleep tonight, Wesley? Much better. Now, let me ask you this, Wesley. And you sound like a very wise man who cares about his family. So,

does your wife have a problem doing that? Is that why you're trying to figure out what's the best move? No, she told me to ask Dave, so here I am. I know what it is. Wesley, anytime you write a check that big, when you take it out of savings, there's a psychological barrier to that.

It's like, good gracious. And I think that's what it is. And, by the way, that's very normal. So just know that there's nothing wrong with your judgment. Your judgment's right. Do this. You've got a month and a half. You've got a month and a half. You've got, well, not a month and a half.

You've got about four months, five months until second baby's on the way. You guys aren't first-time parents. You've been through this before. You know what diapers cost. You guys don't have a budget. You're going to be fine. You've got more than enough in savings, and you're going to be able to make up that difference anyway.

Do it tonight and celebrate. As a matter of fact, Wesley, go ahead and just hang up from us man and go ahead and just do it now i mean just call them right now you'll be debt free before thanksgiving now you really have something to be grateful for best turkey he's ever had that's what i'm trying to tell you debt free turkey you know that that's that's amazing yeah you see there's there's like the organic turkey yes and there's there's like the non-organic turkey. Yes. There's the turkey with stuffing.

This turkey is debt-free. That's good turkey. Oh, this is a debt-free turkey that we paid $18,400 for. Now he's not going to want to eat his turkey. It's so enough. Oh, man. Going out to Memphis, we're going to have a conversation with John. Good afternoon, man.

How can Ken and I help? Hey, guys. Thanks for taking my call. Yeah, no problem. Thank you for calling. How can we help? So I'll just dive right into it. I am 21 years old and graduating college next month, debt-free, thanks to my wonderful parents. Awesome. And something that my question, I guess, is I have a girlfriend who I love dearly and we've been together for over two years and she wants to go to law school and she'll be taking out student loans to go to law school and I have a job lined up in January and I just kind of want to know how I can prepare in the next four years

when she has those student loans and we begin paying those off. Okay can I can I start one? Please do. So I came into some information about two years ago. In fact, I had this guy on my show, the Ken Coleman Show, and I did not realize this, and I'm not even sure your girlfriend knows. But you can go to law school for free, and if not free, heavily, heavily, heavily discounted to where she would not need to get student loans. Now, she's going to have to work really, really hard, study really hard, and it's a function of a certain score on the LSAT. But there are smaller law schools, schools all around the country, even some state schools that aren't as renowned law schools who want good, talented people to come to their law school, and they will give them a free ride or next to nothing based on an LSAT score.

And I got to tell you, as a guy who's worked hard to get debt-free, and I hear you saying because of your parents' sacrifice, you're debt-free, and you love this gal, I would have a conversation with her about this. Are you aware of that information I just gave you? Yes, I am. Is she aware of that information? I think she is. I think the biggest problem was... But? Where does she want to go? I guess the biggest problem for me is, you know, we're still young, and, you know, if it was my fiance or my wife, it'd be a different story, and I would kind of have more say in how she does things,

but I guess that's kind of what's holding me back. Well, okay, hold on a second. I understand that you're not married to this gal or even engaged. Are you planning to? Are you leaning that direction? Oh, yeah, absolutely. We plan to get married this summer after she graduates. Okay, but then you do have a say in it. Mm-hmm.

And I didn't say that you tell her what to do. Right. I'm not saying act like a caveman and beat your chest and tell her what she has to do. You don't get to do that. But as her future fiancé, you have a say in it, a conversation piece. I'm asking you, if she's aware of that information, why is she saying, I'm not interested, I'm going to get a loan? Is it because of the prestige of the school that she has been accepted into? No, I think it's just because it's all that, you know, I guess it's the normal thing, and

I know that normal isn't good. Okay, but my point is, is that if you, here's what I'm saying, and Anthony, you can come in, but I'm telling you, John, if I were you, I would be pleading with my girlfriend and saying, hey, and I don't have the number off the top of my head,'re talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt for a law degree. And if she takes it and gets the score, then she's wide open as to where she can go. Why wouldn't you have that conversation with her? Yeah. And I think – Yeah.

And here's the thing, John. Take her out. Just take her out to eat and say, bae. Say bae. Don't say her name. Say bae. I love you. I love where we're going. And because I love you and I love where we're going, I want to make sure that we have all the options on the table. OK, and here is an option that I think we should really, really consider.

If she says no, do not force it because you're not her husband. Now you have to step back and then ask yourself an honest question, John. And that question is, one, do you want to stay? And if you say yes, you have to prepare yourself to now be ready to pay back her student loans because now they become y'all student loans. It becomes both of you all's debt and so that's just a question you gotta ask and here's the truth i'm gonna say on dave ramsey show if you say yes i love her enough to where i still want to marry her you're not wrong for that okay you're not wrong for that if you say no i don't want to walk into debt in my marriage

you're not wrong for that neither you know you got to step back and ask yourself that question. And I think she will appreciate you saying, hey, have we considered all the options for you to go to school? Like, I want you to go to school. I want you to get your education. I want you to be successful. But I also want to be successful with your money. And here's another route we should consider. If she says no, fine.

Support her. Let her know. Like, cool, great. And you got to step back and see from there. What do you want to do? And if it was me, I'll say goodbye. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. so america i have a quick question for you has your insurance company ever bumped up your insurance rate for no freaking reason i mean

just no reason at all and isn't it just crazy when that does happen especially when you're giving it your all to get out of debt and save money but check this out listen you do not have to just sit there and take it you can work with the independent insurance agent who is one of our endorsed local providers or ELPs. These guys are great because they will fight for you just like they fought for myself. Most people who work with an ELP have saved around $700. And can I actually save $1,200, ma'am? Wow. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. And that's because ELPs, I've learned, are independent, meaning they don't work for one insurance company. They have the freedom to shop hundreds of different companies to find the one that's right for you. So listen, I don't put this off. OK, never again. Should you just sit there and watch your race go up for no reason? Please text the word auto a UTO to three,t-o to 33789 to get started right now and i wanted to let you all know that because i mean seriously they saved me twelve hundred dollars in one year i just recently purchased a car and man i went to them and i was like thank you lord so again text the word auto a u t o two three three seven eight nine let's go out to fairfield and have a conversation with pedro pedro um good

afternoon how can we help hey how you doing guys uh thank you so much for answering my call hey no problem at all man how can we help All right. So my question pretty much is what should I do next? So I'm 21 years old. I'm a veteran. I got out in January and since then I've been living at home here with mom and I've been working from home making 33 K a year. But the problem is like I financed a car when i was in the military like a brand new car and i now i only owe 17k less but uh i'm i'm still 3k in debt so i'm like i really don't know what i should do next in regards to those bills and stuff like that. So, yeah.

So you made $33,000 a year. You said that you owe $17,000 on the car, but you're saying you're only $3,000 in debt? Okay, so in the military I was making less than I make now.

I make $33,000 as of February of this year. Okay. But I've been making payments on the car, so right now my balance on the car is still $17,000. Okay. But I have $3,000 in debt from medical bills.

I got you. So you have an extra $3,000 in debt from medical bills. Correct. Okay. And you're asking what should you do right now moving forward? Right. I only have $800 saved up. Okay. Okay.

That's fine. All right. So we have $800 saved up. So have you ever heard of the Baby Steps? I have. I'm a new listener, but I'm not too familiar with it. Okay. Cool.

Great. Thank you so much for calling in. That's why Ken and I are here because we want to help you and walk you through this process. All right. So here's the very first thing of what I want you to do. You got a pen and paper near you right now? Yes, sir. Cool. I want you to write this down. Write down debt snowball. Okay. I want you to circle that word. And What I want you to do is line up your debt from smallest to largest. Right now, you have $3,000 in medical bills. Do you have any credit cards or anything right now?

No, but a part of that 3K is like a $600 loan that I just never paid off on my credit score. It shows up as charged off. Okay. Write that down for me.

You have $600 in a loan, a personal loan. And are the rest medical bills? Correct. All right. So then we have $2,400 in medical bills. And then we have $17,000 in a car, correct? Correct. All right, cool. So what you're going to do is you make $33,000 in a car, correct? Correct. All right, cool. So what you're going to do is you make $33,000 a year right now, okay?

And what you're going to do is you're going to tap the very first one, $600. You're going to go after the next one, $2,400, $1,700. But in the meantime, what you're going to do is you're going to make minimum payments, okay? Now, we don't have enough time to really break all of this down on the show with you right now. But what I'm going to do, Ken, I think that's what I'm going to do to answer your question directly. I want you to go ahead and take this course that we offer Ramsey Plus. OK, it's not really a course, it's a membership. And inside of that, you're going to be taking Financial Peace University. It's going to really break down every single thing that we teach, especially when it comes to getting out of debt. And it's going to really

break down the debt snowball. But for your immediate answer right now, what I want you to do is line up all of your debt and make your minimum payments on all of them and then aggressively attack the $600 one, which is the personal loan that's in collections. Now, here's a tip for you. If it's already in collections outside of your original individual who gave you the loan, call them and ask them, can you negotiate a different price? Ask them, can you settle this in full? They may say, hey, if you give us $400 cash, we'll do a settlement in full and call it even from there. So do that. But I want you to stay on the line. Kelly's going to give you a free year access to Ramsey Plus from Ken and I, and I promise you, man, it's going to be amazing. Pedro, real quick, what you need to do, baby step one,

you've got $800 in savings. Is that what you said? In a brokerage account. Okay. A brokerage account? A brokerage account, yeah. What do you mean? Like a Robin Hood.

I got you. Okay. Well, baby step one is you need? Like a Robin Hood? I got you. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, baby step one is you need to get $1,000 in savings, and that $1,000 is to cover emergencies. So that's what you want to do first, okay? That's baby step one. You want to get $1,000 in that basic savings account from your bank so that you've got kind of that rainy day fun if something happens. And then you tackle what Anthony just told you.

That's baby step two. Once you knock the debt out, you're going to now save up three to six months of your expenses. So that's three months minimum of your net pay coming out that you're bringing home every month. I just have a quick question on how much the car is worth. I understand how much you owe on it. How much is the car worth? It's a 2018 sports fusion. It was like $26,000. Is that what it's worth now, though, if you look at the Kelly? No, I don't think so, no. Okay, so here's another homework assignment to add to what Anthony gave you.

You need to find out how much that car is worth. I understand you owe $17,000 on it, but let's just say that car is worth $19,000. You're living with mom. Does mom have another car, or could you, based on what you're doing, you're working from home, could you drive a $2,000 car? Yeah, of course. All right, that's what you need to tackle because pretty quickly, if you take care of that car, you've taken care of the majority of your debt. So that's your homework assignment today in fact right now yeah get online and find out what the kelly blue book value is on that car you want to

sell it private seller not with a dealer because they're not going to pay you anywhere near what the kelly blue book is right uh for private sales and so sell that car uh and then because you work at home if you got an uber around you know a $2,000 beater, that's fine. But you, my friend, are going to be out of debt pretty quickly. So I would go aggressively. That final thing for you, sir, thank you for your service. Thank you for serving our country. You're a great American.

Absolutely, man. Thank you so much for calling in. Going out to Milwaukee, I have a conversation there with Tasha. Tasha, good afternoon. How can Ken and I help? Hi. with Tasha. Tasha, good afternoon. How can Ken and I help? Hi, I'm calling because I have only been married about three months and I pulled our credit reports and I found that my new husband has almost $100,000 in back child support that he owes. Oh dear. And I don't know what to do. I

pulled our credit reports because I wanted to get on the baby steps and first to buy a house and, you know, do all the regular things that people do. And I don't know. I'm stumped with this. I have no idea where to begin. My goodness. Does he know that you know this yet? I think he, I'm sure he does because he knows I have the credit report, but he hasn't said anything. Oh my.

And I don't even know what to say to him. All right. So here's what we got to do. That music means we've got to go to a commercial break, but we're going to put you on hold. Hang with us, Tasha. When we come back, we're going to dive into this dive into this okay yeah we got to talk about this we really do this is going to be interesting yeah a lot to unpack here yeah America y'all hold on we'll be right back this is the day show Thank you. Welcome back to the Dave Ramsey Show. Ken Coleman and myself, Anthony O'Neill, Ramsey Personalities, are co-hosting today.

And before the break, we were on the phone with Tasha and Tasha was informing us that recently she was blessed to get married but unfortunately she found out that her husband owes about a hundred thousand dollars in back child support and so we didn't want to rush through that call we asked her to hold on so we can really dive into deep deeper in here and so we can help her out so uh Tasha I got a quick question for you that I'm curious um actually a couple of questions number one uh was this within the last 24 hours was this recently that you pulled the credit report and you had um and you found this information out and then two is did he mention this at all did he try to hint to this at all before you all got married uh that hey you know i owe some child support or i'm paying child

support well i the credit report i did get within the last 24 hours. It was yesterday. I knew he owed child support, but I was under the impression it was nowhere near this amount and that a portion of it had been forgiven. But apparently that is not the case. Okay. All right. I was under the impression that it was about $20 or $30 and that he had paid 75% of it and that the other portion was forgiven. Do you guys have joint banking?

We do not. That's a problem. And that's a real problem because this is why you didn't know about it even any sooner than this. And the other problem is, as you told us before we went to the break, you guys haven't even spoken about it. So I asked you if he knew that you knew, and you said, well, he must because he knows that I pulled a credit report. So that means if that's in fact the case, you guys are walking around avoiding each other. The tension's got to be so thick you can cut it with a knife.

Am I right? Well. Okay, it with a knife. Am I right? Well. Okay, it doesn't matter. He knows there's something wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Because he's asked me several times today. Yeah, you're showing.

Are you okay? Yeah, and what have you said? Really nothing. Okay. All right. Tasha. Yeah, pretty much. Tasha, this is, when he comes home from work,

you guys, it's, it's, everything is on hold and you got to sit down and share with him what you know. And we've got several things going on here. Okay. Um, he has lied to you and, and you aren't addressing this right away. You're kind of trying to sit on this a little bit. This is, we got to get this out in the open. It is what it is now. And you weren't told the truth and you guys have separate bank accounts, which means you guys are not truly unified. And the reason I'm bringing up the separate bank accounts is because when you sit down with him and talk about all the relationship piece and the line, there's also the financial part to this. So the state of Wisconsin, every state has laws on paying child support on a monthly basis, and now it's been racked up to $100,000. And if it's not paid in a timely manner, then they can do a lot of things.

Interest, which is going to make the $100,000 bigger than it already is. It's going to keep growing like a monster underneath the stairs. It is then tax refunds can be garnished and withheld, if you will, pay. I mean, this thing is a really, really nasty thing that's got to be dealt with. It can't be swept underneath the rug anymore. And so it's time to get this all out. And I will tell you that marriage counseling is a piece of this as well. We've got to get this fixed.

We're three months in. And this affects you financially as well. And here's the thing, Tasha. I think when you sit down and talk to your husband, I would try to find a way to just find clarity. Because here's the concern that I have, okay, whether it's $100,000 or $10,000 or $5,000. You're not supporting your own child and then that's to me that's more important than a hundred thousand dollars so you don't want to support the human being that you brought into this to this world and so i would have that conversation before the

money because do you two plan on having kids no we do not okay we. We both, I'm older. Well, we're both older. Okay. Sounds good. Well, I guess not much older, but we have adult children. Yeah. I agree with Ken. I agree with Ken.

You two have to get to the bottom of this, but also, I mean, I'm not a woman, so I can't say this, but I'm like, I would want to know why. If that was my brother, why are you not taking care of your responsibilities? Because now that makes me concerned about us together. Is your husband gainfully employed or is he just scraping by? We both are employed and make about $35,000 to $40,000 a year. Both of you together or individually? Each individually.

Okay, so let's call it $75,000 to $80,000, somewhere in that range. He's going to have to deal with this, and you're going to have to make him deal with this. But I'm going to tell you where it starts. It starts with no longer are we having separate bank accounts. There's no more secrets. He has violated trust with you. Now, I do believe that he can be forgiven. I think he can be forgiven. I think he

should be forgiven. But that's if he repents and acts in a way that would allow you to truly give full forgiveness. But we've got to move forward on this. And he's got to take care of this. And he's got to step up big time. And you've got to lay it out there and say, we're not just going to treat this like, you know, the dirty little secret that nobody wants to talk about. This is a problem. You have been dishonest with me. You have broken trust. And you've got to earn that back.

And you've got to take care of business. You've got to get with the courts. You've got to figure something out because there's a reason why he's 100 grand behind. Right. Yeah. That I don't know what it is and we don't have time to unpack that. But I also think marriage counseling, I would, if I were you, I would push him really, really intensely because you guys need to get with a professional and deal with some of the

stuff that's going on here. That's put him in a place where he feels like he has to be dishonest about it. There's a lot going on here, but don't quit. Don't give up. Yeah, don't quit on marriage. And you hear the frustration in Ken's voice. My only recommendation is don't go to him frustrated. Go to him with concerns. Go to him with love.

And go to him with the understanding. Help me understand what's going on and why we are here. And say we, because now that impacts me. I'm frustrated because I'd like to go to this guy. I'd like to have about 10 minutes alone with this dude. You know what I'm talking about? Give him some just truth. Yeah, you're frustrated about the money.

I'm more so concerned about the responsibility. No, I'm frustrated this guy lied to her. Well, he didn't really lie. Remember, she said that he told her that he owes child support and she said she thought it was $20,000 or $30,000. He just didn't tell her 100% of the facts.

Is that a lie? I'm not going to take that on. I stated my opinion very, very clearly. I'll leave it at that. Why are you and Kelly looking like that? I'm just... i think he lied i think he lied to her all right i think he i think he didn't tell her the complete truth okay let's move on where i come from that's a lot if my kid says to me

okay i'm just playing i just love the faces that you and kelly give kelly on the other side of the screen like what yo all right so evan from instagram said ken it's a good question he says i love your ability to ask good questions if you are sitting next to someone on a plane what question would you ask to get to know them? Oh. What are you dreaming about? And why is that the dream? That will open up a whole lot.

If it's just one question, which you put me on the spot, I love that. That's a great question. If I want to really get to know somebody, I want to ask them what they're dreaming about. Because, see, that's where they get beyond the everyday pressures. They get beyond the everyday limitations. They get beyond doubt. They get beyond fear. They get beyond stress. They get beyond insecurity.

And they just start to go, well, here's what I'm dreaming about. And it really takes you directly to their heart. That would be the ultimate can opener question. If I really wanted to get to know somebody, what would be your question? If you could listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would that song be? Oh, gosh. I want to hear James' answer to that. James Childs is like a music connoisseur.

I'd say even music snob. I'd like to hear his answer. I got to think about it. Yeah, okay. I know his song. It would be a hip-hop song. I want the answer when we come back. This is the Dave Ramsey Show.

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