The Ramsey Show - App - I Hate the Job I've Been at for 15 Years (Hour 3)

Episode Date: May 13, 2021

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Music Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions Broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show. Where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, host of the Ken Coleman Show, where he talks about finding your dream job, and finding a job, and how to get on board and how to figure that all out. The seven proven stages of walking into that. So if you want to talk about careers, Ken's here to help, and he'll step in on all the discussions we're having today, and as will I.

We're here to help you. Phone number 888-825-5225. Alex is in Orlando. Hi, Alex. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hello, Ramsey. First of all, thank you for your years of wisdom, and we've been following you for a long time.

First time caller, I have a question. As the pandemic started, I told my dad and my family that I will get life insurance. I know your point of view on term life. We were trying to get some term life insurance at the time. My dad had me over a whole life. I had been paying for 36 years. I'm 42. I'm sorry.

Right now, the policy has about $11,000 cash value with 8%. He thinks I should keep it. I see about three options with it. I want you to take on it. I'm having trouble hearing you. You need to speak directly into your phone, please. Yes, can you hear me now? Yes, sir. Thank you.

Yes. So my dad handed me over the policy that he's been paying for 35 years, which is a whole life insurance. Right, I'm sorry. It has an $11,000 cash value. That's awful. And about 8%. He thinks I should keep it

because he's been paying for so long for it that he doesn't see much of a downside this term as I'm 42 years old. And I want to know your take on it. I've been looking for 10 life. I see three options. I can either keep it, I can either let the cash value pay

for it for the next 12 years and make a decision, or I can take the money and with that pay the new one. Paying for both is not an issue. It's not a money round step 4 to 5 and financially, okay, if we can pay for both, it wouldn't be an issue.

I want to know your take. I know you don't like that whole life i wonder if you have any ideas what to do with it yeah it's whether i like it or not doesn't matter what matters is does it work that's all that matters and the reason i don't like it is it's a piece of crap. It doesn't work. Okay? And that's why I don't like it. And here's the reason. Okay? You got $11,000 in this stinking little policy after your dad's paid on it most of his entire life.

And I know he's proud of it. He was doing the best he could do, and he got ripped off, and he thinks it's a good idea. But that doesn't make it a good idea. You've discovered some other things that your dad thought was good ideas that aren't good ideas too, as my son will do and as I did. We all will discover these things in our life. And so the $11,000 that's in there, when you die, they will pay your beneficiary the face value, and they will keep the $11,000.

You have a savings account that when you die, they keep your money. And on average, whole life pays 1.2% in the United States. So you have a savings account that pays 1.2%. And when you die, they keep your money. Yeah, you could use that to buy their ripoff overpriced life insurance by letting the cash value pay out. But why give them the money? Why not cash it out and put the $11,000 to work in some good way? And before you do that, make sure you have the proper amount of term life insurance in place.

You can go to ZanderInsurance.com, get a quick, easy quote. We've endorsed those folks for 20 years, and this is the reason. Because, you know, you pay 20 times more for whole life. You pay $100 for what you would pay $5 for. 20 times more. That other 95 is supposed to build up an investment inside the policy called cash value. The first three years, you get zero. They keep it all.

After that, when the cash value finally starts building, it builds at 1.2%, and after that, when you do finally build it up and you die, the thing you paid an extra $95 out of every $100 for, they keep the investment. Dude, that's just straight-up stupid. It's just straight-up, and not on your part or your dad's part, but the concept is straight up stupid. And so that's why no one in the financial world teaches that you should buy whole life except people that are in the whole life insurance business.

They're the only ones. Nobody else believes in it because I mean, they figured out it's a payday lender of the middle class. So you do what you want to do with it, but it's not, I got rid of it because Dave Ramsey doesn't like it. gives a crap what dave ramsey like or doesn't like what all that matters here is what works that's all that matters and you know dave ramsey doesn't like fords so i'm not buying a ford why i got a ford i do like ford i was gonna say you really like them yeah but i mean

the point the point is i mean yeah you know you gotta do what's right why you like something or don't like something. If you just don't like it because you grew up not liking it, you know, sporting team or whatever else, right? You know, that's fine. But if there's an actual mechanical, logical reason that something sucks, then, you know, that's what matters. Sure. Then you form your own opinion. And based on that, you make your adult decision.

That's right. This is how we do stuff. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Lynette is with us in Pittsburgh. Hey, Lynette, what's up? Hi there. I'm a huge fan. Thanks for taking my call.

Sure. How can we help? So I started my baby steps back in July of 2019. Started paying off $93,000 worth of debt. Dwindled it down to about $14,000. Way to go. But I stopped my 401k contributions to maintain my gazelle intensity. Good.

Fast forward to today, I am now engaged and planning a wedding. Yay! Thank you. So we're getting married in August and paying for everything with cash. But this has caused me to pause my debt snowball. Sure. So once we are married, we'll have about $30,000 in debt. What's left over from mine and then what he has.

So that's probably going to add another 12 months why is he not adding income he is adding income so it'll be 30 000 cumulative between both of us so i know debt kind of but what's your household what is your income now my income is 9292,500. And you've got $14,000 left. And his income is what? His income, well, he just started a new job maybe like a month or so ago. Are they paying him? They're still figuring that out. They are paying him. Good.

What's the income? I think he makes about $1,300 every two weeks. I'm not sure what that is. I haven't calculated it out yet. About $40,000 a year. Okay. I'm not sure what that is. I haven't calculated it out yet. About $40,000 a year. Okay, so you have $130,000 household income, and you only have $30,000 in debt. I don't think this is a problem. You need to pay it off really, really fast.

Gazelle Intense, kiddo, as soon as you come home from the dad-blame honeymoon, you start everything again, you push play on your debt snowball, and you pay off $30,000 in a freaking heartbeat, making $130,000. Okay, so we'll be able to still pay for the wedding because obviously we're still... Right now, everything's on pause to the wedding. Yes, exactly. You pay cash for the wedding, and you come home, you got $30,000 in debt, making $130,000. Okay.

Get it. You make it sound so good. Thank you. Get after it. You got this. You can do it. Get it You make it sound so good Get it Get after it You got this You can do it Get it This is the Ramsey Show Your number one wealth building tool is your income. For business owners, this comes as no surprise,

as you're used to putting in extra hours and watching your bottom line. That's why Christian Healthcare Ministries, or CHM, is a great option for those who are faith-focused and budget-conscious. CHM is not health insurance. Rather, it's a health cost-sharing program. It's not harder, but it is different. To learn if CHM is a fit for you or your business, visit chministries.org slash budget. Today is the day to do things you've never done so that you can get things you've never gotten. This is your chance to learn how to make faster and real progress with your money by checking out our famous $10 sale.

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Remember, adults devise a plan and follow it. Children do what feels good. Shop our ten dollar sale at the online store at RamseySolutions.com Grace is with us in Detroit. Hey Grace, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, thank you for taking my call.

Sure, what's up? I'm kind of lost here. I've been at my job for 15 years. I absolutely despise it. And I don't know, is it selfish of me to be thinking about walking away from it and trying something new? No. Why would you feel selfish? Why does that make you ask that question?

I guess I just get nervous about it. I almost feel like I'm institutionalized there and not having a college degree or anything. Yeah, that's true. Grace, who is relying on your income? Well, I have two kids, and my husband works as well. Yeah. How much do you make? It ranges from $70 to $100, but we work a lot of overtime, six days a week.

Yeah. And how much does your husband make? Anywhere between $100 to $112,000, give or take. Wow. Okay. So a wonderful household income. Why is it that over time you can't make a decision to do something else that pays as much? Right.

I don't know. I'm just nervous because I don't have a degree or anything, and I thought about going back to school, but then we're losing income. Well, hold on. So, Grace, I talk to people like this every day that are in this, and this is all normal. So don't feel bad about this. Don't feel any shame. These are real emotions. But it's because you don't know. You don't even know what you don't know. Or maybe you do. So I'm just curious. What would you do if you didn't have to worry about getting qualified and you knew that you could get hired and you knew you would do well? Any ideas that you have? If you had the education, you could do anything you wanted to do.

Yeah. What would you do? I honestly, I really don't know. I feel like I kind of lost myself throughout the years. 15 years, yeah. Yeah, all right. And listen, that throughout the years. I don't know. 15 years? Yeah. Listen, that's normal too. I'm not going to try to solve it right here, but I'm going to give you a little construct.

What you've got to ask yourself is you have to say, what would I do? And keep asking yourself, what would I do and what would I do? And I promise you, Grace, if you allow yourself to wonder like a child, remember how we used to wonder about everything? Why don't you just allow yourself to wonder like a child. Remember how we used to wonder about everything? Why don't you just allow yourself to wonder?

What would I like to do? But I'm going to try to kickstart this really quick, give you some ideas. Who are the people you most want to help? If you could make a good living and you were helping people with your work, who would you want to try to help? Anything pop in your head? I really don't know. All right.

All right. So here's the deal. When you lock up on this, no, no, it's okay. Here's what I want you to do. This is a quick homework assignment. I want you to get out a piece of paper tonight while it's fresh, and I want you to just list out, you can type this up, put it on your phone. I don't care.

I want you to list out the skills that you're really, really good at. I mean, top level, eights, nines, and maybe a 10 or two. Okay. I want you to just kind of just get really aware of what you do well. Then I want you to start to dream a little bit and wonder, go, what kind of work do I think I would really enjoy doing? You haven't enjoyed work in so long. Your heart has actually been covered up with so much drudgery that you don't even think you can enjoy work anymore. Is that true? It's true. Yeah, but I want you to get outside of that and go, what kind of work do I think that

I would enjoy? By the way, you'll get some clues with those skills you write down. What's some examples of some skills, like detail-oriented, people-oriented? So, yeah, so let's work with her on this. So what do you think are your top two or three skills? Soft skills, hard skills. What would you say? If I interviewed everybody that knows you, what would they say?

I'm a detailed person. Okay. I'm a hard worker. I don't really know. No, sure you do. Sure you do. Now, when you say you're detailed, that means you're pretty organized and you like processes. Yes or no?

Yeah. Yeah. I like structure. You like structure. Okay. Give me an example of something you might like to do that you've never done that's involving details and structure. What pops to your mind? Don't worry about a job title.

Just the type of work. If you're good at details, do you like working with details? If you're good at processes, do you like working with processes? Make sense? Right, right. There you go. So wait a minute. Here's a weird thing popped into my head.

So, Ken, if you did that, I just made this up in my head while she was talking. Could be great. Or while you were that, I just made this up in my head while she was talking. Could be great. Or while you were talking, anyone. But if you like details and you like organizing things, what if you, do you like, is it put a smile on your face if, like, the garage is organized or the bedroom shelves are organized? Oh, yeah. Maybe you open an organizing company company teach people how to do that go into their homes and organize for them okay you heard of people doing that right

yeah yeah actually my daughter watches uh youtube things on that yeah that woman whatever her name is it does that stuff yeah but i mean you don't you don't have to you don't have to get a tv show all you gotta do is just make money and i'm not even sure that's the thing. I'm just saying that's an example of something where just for just a second, you felt 10 pounds lighter, 20 pounds lighter. Just for the idea of doing that instead of doing what you're doing. Because it's a little bit closer to your skills. Yeah. And here's the deal, Grace. I think you have ideas and you're afraid to say them.

And I'm not going to put you on the spot here on the Ramsey Show, but I'm telling you, you have ideas. You have wondered about stuff, and you're afraid to say it because you're going, I don't know if I'm too old. I don't know if I'm good enough. I don't know if I can get qualified. I don't know if I can replace my income. And I think that what you have to do is you've got to get to the point where you begin to say,

what is it that I would do, and then we go look at it. But let's say she needs a degree that takes two years to go get her some certifications if she'd have started that 15 years ago she'd already been 13 years into her new career that's exactly right so start it so start now here's why grace listen grace you're making really good money 70 to 100 000 you could cash flow your way through getting qualified yep you can cash flow that and you don't have to jump off of the ledge here. This is something you can do. It is doable.

One thing I want you to do, go to KenColeman.com, take the Career Clarity Guide. It's going to allow you a little bit more time, and you're not on the air, and you're under pressure, and you walk through the exercise. And then if you're still stuck, call me on the Ken Coleman Show. I think the idea is there, Dave. Here's what I've seen a lot. People have thoughts, and yet what they do is they go, oh, that's a thought, but it's not doable, or it's going to cost too much, or if I fail, we're going to live under a bridge.

There's so many fears and doubts that immediately start to go like this. They fire like firecrackers in our head, and we're like, oh, I can't do that. And we've got to get to the point where we say, hey, what would I love to do? What results does this work create? And then I ask myself, do I actually have the talent? Maybe not right now, but is it a skill, a learnable skill? Most of the time the answer is yes. And then we say, all right, what do i have to learn what do i have

to do how much is it going to cost how long is it going to take based on my financial reality those four qualifying questions dave create a plan don't look up 15 years no from now and not having started no it's never too late because you're not stuck. Because you're not stuck. No. Not making this kind of income. You're not stuck. They're combined incomes. He can cash flow any qualification. He can quit and live on his income. You're not stuck.

But you don't have to do that. You can use this income to make the transition. That's right. That's what you should do gently and wisely. But you need to take the first few steps in the next few weeks. And step one is go to KingColeman.com and take the career assessment. And that will make a big, what do you call it? It's the Career Clarity Guide.

And it's free. It's absolutely free, KenColeman.com. And it will really begin to give you some answers and you begin to see ideas or verify some thoughts that you've had. This is the Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. Ken Coleman Ramsey personality is my co-host today here on the Ramsey Show, where we talk about your life and your money. It's a free call, a 888-825-5225. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage, Jake and Riss are with us. Hey, guys, how are you?

Great. How are you doing? Welcome. Where do you guys live? Columbus, Ohio. Oh, fun. Welcome to Nashville. And all the way here to do a debt-free scream. How much you doing? Welcome. Where do you guys live? Columbus, Ohio. Oh, fun. Welcome to Nashville. And all the way here to do a debt-free scream. How much did you pay off? We paid off $44,215. Cool.

How long did this take? 15 months. Good for you. And your range of income during that time? It was around $86,000. Wow. What do you guys do for a living? So I am a bartender server at a local restaurant.

I'm a union electrician out of local 683. Cool. Good for you guys. Well done. Excellent. How old are you two? I am 24. 25. Excellent. How long have you guys been married? Since September of 2019. All right. Good. So not long after marriage then, 15 months, right? You look down and you see you got $44,000 worth of what kind of debt?

Well, we had $19,000 in her car loan. We had $15,000 in my student loans. And then the rest was in a couch, wedding rings, and furnace and AC. Ah, okay. And we cash flowed our baby. We have a four-month-old baby girl. Yay. All right. While all of this is going on. Excellent. furnace and ac ah yeah cash flow to our baby we have a four month old baby girl yay all right while all this is going on excellent yep so um tell me your story how did you decide to get out

of debt well my dad gave me a copy of the book and for a couple months it just sat around the house and then finally total money makeover makes a really good coaster on the coffee table. Yep. Yes, it does. And then, finally, I decided to give it a shot, and I liked it so much that I had to read it to Riz, and then we got it read in two days. And just from there, we were like, let's just get it done, you know. What made you pick the book up after sitting there? You're sitting around the house, or did something happen? Was there an emotional thing?

We were on vacation. Yeah, we were on vacation. And we were just sitting on the beach thinking, you know, how can we get to this stage in life? Yeah. Without working our whole life away. You know, looking at early retirement, stuff like that. So I said, hey, there's a book at home. Maybe we should check that out when we get home.

Nice. Love it. So your dad gave it to you. So he had some connection to us. Yeah, I'm not sure where he got it from. But he just informed me last week that they're everyday millionaires now. Whoa. That's great. I love it.

This is great. And now he's straightened out his grandchild's parents. Yes. That is wonderful. You guys are fun. Very well done. Okay, so 15 months. What did you do?

What do you tell people the secret to getting out of debt is? I think that we definitely have to be on the same page with one another and live below our means and just live like a simple life. Yeah, being on the same page with each other, I feel like there's just nothing we can't do together. So a lot of other people your age doing this stuff, or you kind of were weird? I'd say we were weird. I mean, our friends, they were really supportive of us, but I don't know that they were all really on board to do it with us. Yeah, they're kind of looking at you side-eyed. Yeah. At least they weren't straight on making fun of you to your face, huh?

That's true. They were proud of us. They were veryeyed. Yeah. At least they weren't straight on making fun of you to your face, huh? That's true. They were proud of us. They were very happy for us. That's good. That's good. That's good kind of friends to have. Yes. Well done.

Well done, you guys. Excellent. So the book is the whole thing. That's how you did it? Yep. Just got the Total Money Makeover book out and followed the steps and did it. Yeah. And then I was listening to your podcast from there, too, on the way to work.

Okay. All right. And the good news is just looking at them and listening to your podcast from there, too, on the way to work. Mm-hmm. Okay. All right. And the good news is just looking at them and listening to them, it doesn't sound like you guys really argued about this. You just said, okay, let's do it. Yeah. Yes. What was the hardest thing you had to do, a sacrifice or getting used to this gazelle intensity?

Maybe when friends were doing stuff, going out to Topgolf, stuff like that, we just decided. No Topgolf. No Topgolf. Just stay at home. Save the money. All right. No crazy food stories like eating rice and beans every night? None of that?

No. I mean, we cook a lot at home, so we just try to make big meals that would last a couple days at a time. We would eat meatballs for four days straight. Okay. There you go. We would eat like meatballs for like four days straight. Okay. There it is. There's the food. There it is. I like it.

That's good. But she makes the best meatballs, so. There you go. I love it. Well played. You're getting this married thing down. That's great. This is good.

Well done, you guys. I'm so proud of you. You're rock stars, man. You got the whole rest of your life in front of you. Dude, this is smart. Most people sitting around, they're 55, 60 right now. God, I of you. You're rock stars, man. You got the whole rest of your life in front of you. Dude, this is smart. Most people sitting around, they're 55, 60 right now. God, I wish I had done that when I was 25. You know, there's, man, look at those guys.

I wish I was those guys. But you're pretty incredible. Very, very well done. So you brought your youngster with you. What'd you have? A girl. A little girl. And what's her name?

Her name is Gemma. Gemma. All right. Hey, Gemma. Gemma. All right. Hey, Gemma. Okay. So when mom and dad scream, is it going to scare her? It might. I don't know.

We'll see. We'll find out. Well, this is a legacy changed. A family tree changed right here. Good, good stuff. That is so fun. All right. We've got a copy of the legacy journey for you because you have a whole new legacy because of your courage

and the fact that you stepped up like grown-up heroes and took care of business. I'm so proud of you. And also a copy of the Total Money Makeover, another one, so you can pay it forward to somebody else now. Absolutely. Somebody else who's ready to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. And you probably inspired them with your life and with this scream, so well done. All right. Jake and Riz and Gemma.

Is it Gemma? Did I say that right? Gemma. Gemma. I messed it up. Gemma, $44,000 paid off in 15 months, making $86,000. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream.

Three, two, one. We're debt-free. Well, we managed not to scare the baby. That's good. That's how it's done. You know, when you talk to somebody like them, they made it sound a little too easy. Yes. Like it's just so simple.

And we just came home from the beach and we read the book and we got out of debt. And we cooked a lot of meatballs and then we kind of got through it and we're out of debt. And we cooked a lot of meatballs, and then we kind of got through it. And we're out of debt. There's no drama with these two. None. None whatsoever. But you know what? There doesn't have to be.

It really is fairly simple. That's exactly right. It occurs to me, it's like anything in life that's worth doing. It's rarely complex. It's simple, the process, process the baby steps the seven stages you know look it's uh it's hard though it's simple but it's hard and the hard part is submitting to the process sacrificing being okay with people looking at you weird as you say with a side eye kind of saying no to top golf whatever it is depending on your situation it's not complex i'm thinking

top golf's not going to be an advertiser now no oh yeah good call i don't know why because now you can do a top golf envelope you know what i'm saying i mean that's that's that's entertainment a line item in the budget now we can we can budget anything in there once we're uh if you live like no one else, later you can top golf. There it is. It's so true. But you know what? There was something in the way that young couple was, both of them were raised,

that kept this from being a drama, a series of dramas, because they were just like, this is what you do, and we're going to go do it. And there was no sense of entitlement, no sense of victimhood, no sense of, you know, and sometimes people have to get through all that stuff, and that's where all the drama comes from. That's absolutely right. Shout out to Jake's dad. Yeah. You know, there were some boundaries. Everyday millionaire.

Everyday millionaire. He's living it. Jake has seen it, right? But he has some boundaries. He just gives him the book, and he just kind of says, all right, let's see what happens. Gives him space. Doesn't thump him about it. I think there's something there.

I really do. He lived it. He modeled it. Yeah. He modeled the way, then he gives the book. Yeah, he's going, you know, we get all this debt, and we're on the beach, and we get home. I think I'd rather be like my dad later. Yeah, he's shaking his head.

Yeah, that's absolutely right. That's probably how that works. Then maybe some of my friends are going to be. Yeah, but there's that. Again, that's that same calm wisdom that's not all this drama. Because people just foam at the mouth and flop around the floor. And we suggest they shouldn't go on vacation and eat out for a few months while they get out of debt. Oh, God, say Ramsey.

You know, it's all this crazy butt stuff, man. And it's just like, golly, you guys are really heavily invested in crap. I mean, it's unbelievable. This is The Ramsey Show. Thank you. Our scripture today is Psalm 136.1. Give thanks to the Lord for he is good. His love endures forever. Zig Ziglar said, be grateful for what you have and stop complaining. It bores everybody else, does you you no good and doesn't solve any problems wow zig's getting it yeah he was a little feisty there he's mr positive all the time

straighten up doesn't solve any problems quit your griping i almost do my zig right there all right this is jennifer is with us in philadelphia hi jennifer welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi. Hi, Dave. Hi, Ken. Thanks so much for taking my call. I really appreciate it.

Sure. How can we help? I have a question about, like you, I do better than I deserve, but my brother and his two adult kids are not doing quite as well financially, and I just bought copies of the Total Money Makeover for all three of them, and i'm going to send them to them soon and i wanted to offer uh to help set up some iras for all three of them like feed it with a little bit of money and then maybe offer to match if they're willing to contribute to it as well um for a set period of time just to see how it goes because i know they don't have any retirement savings the problem is they haven't even they don't even know about the baby steps, so they're definitely living paycheck to paycheck,

and they don't have the emergency fund yet. So with my doing that, first of all, is it a good idea? How can I do it? And would it be taking them out of order of the baby steps so it doesn't make sense? Or that doesn't really count if it's something I'm gifting to them then it's it's out of order is okay um hmm trying to think what i would do no i would not it's not about the order it's about um it is about the order but because they need you need to see some movement from them before you start throwing money at them. And because, let me give you an example.

Let's say you put $6,000 each and start a Roth IRA. And they do nothing. Then you did nothing. Yeah. That's why I was hoping if I offered to pay for three months or six months, I'll match. If you can put $10 out of every paycheck, I'll match that. Yeah.

But maybe you just do that. Maybe you do that towards the debt in baby step two, because if they get on this train, that'll lead them to be able to invest later without you. Right. Yeah, I was just thinking to take advantage, the two adult kids are in their 20s, and I was thinking to take advantage of their youth and, you know, have a good, like, overtime. That's just you getting it out of order.

That's all that is. Because, see, you think that compound interest is going to solve their problem. I think their behavior change is going to solve their problem. I think their behavior change is going to solve their problem. Right. Which will lead them to compound interest. But compound interest without behavior change is not going to solve their problem. Okay. So just give them the book and say, read this, and then let's talk, and maybe I'll, you know,

And if you guys want to start this, I might match you on some of your debt snowball stuff after you read and figure out what a debt snowball is. Call me up. Let's talk about it. Because, see, if they can get out of debt, they've got control of their most powerful wealth-building tool, which is their income, not their aunt. Right. Yeah, that's true.

Have you talked with them about this before? Have you sat down and had any kind of conversation about how you do things and how you'd like them to do this, or is this sort of a new thing you're inspired to do? No, it's actually a new thing. I'm a new listener, actually. And I got very fortunate that I married someone who did have a good financial education. So we ended up kind of following the Ramsey method without knowing we were doing that. And I'm just now discovering, because we're very fortunate.

We're debt-free except for our mortgage, and we don't have any kids. Well, maybe you talk about the times that you were scared and the times that you did something dumb with money, and I used to do that, and when I quit doing it, now I'm able to invest. And if you guys want to walk down, the path I used was this path in this book, and if you guys want to walk down that path i'll actually participate with you um y'all call me and we'll talk about it but but don't don't talk about like i've got it all figured out and here's a book instead talk about the times when you failed and make make a connection

i think ramsey plus is a great recommendation jennifer get them in you know they get the they get they get in it and and maybe help them stay in it for a little bit. You know, they experience every dollar and all the incredible content within Ramsey Plus. I just think that that's a great suggestion because you're talking about it like this awesome resource you have. People tend to go for more of that. Oh, you really love it? Why? I think that's a good idea. Yeah, and talk about the time that, you know, I used to do this and I was screwing up and now I'm doing that and not wagging your finger going, you need to straighten up kind of a thing.

That's a different spirit is the way you're going at it. Erica is in Portland, Maine. Hi, Erica. Hi, Dave and Ken. Thanks so much for taking my call. Our pleasure. How can we help? So it's actually funny because my question is on the other side about where do I put saving for my parents' retirement in the baby steps?

You don't. So a little bit of backstory. You don't. Okay. You don't save for your parents' retirement. They need to save for their retirement. Yes, but I just know that that's not going to happen my parents split up about four years ago one of my parents is a great saver one of my parents is not okay so all you can do is go

build all you can do is go build wealth and if you've got some money if you've got a million dollars in your 401k and your mama needs some food you can buy her some food okay but you don't need to open a mutual fund and call it mom's mutual fund because mom's too trifling to manage her own life yes you just go build wealth okay does that make sense yes it does i guess um it's out of a fear base because i'm watching one of my parents support their parent in retirement because they relied on social security and that is yep and you may have you may have to do that but the best way to do that is for you to have money okay so that's in baby step seven yeah you're just going to get rich you're going to be an everyday baby step millionaire and then you can reach over and if mom needs if mom needs 500 bucks to go with her

social insecurity check to eat you can take care of it right right but you don't need to set up a separate account that says oh this is for my mother now you just go make some money build your wealth and be in a position to be a blessing to a lot of people. Hopefully, mom will find her way. And it sounds like dad is the saver. Mom's not. But hopefully, mom will find her way through the process. Because you don't ever know where you're going to end up with these things.

And, you know, there's a lot of different things you can do with money to be a blessing to people you love once you've got some money. Yeah, I loved your advice, Dave, because I think that's also not just the best financial advice. I think that's the best relationship advice. Here's what happens. If you put your money goals and your wealth building on pause to deal with a fear that you have for your parents and you're trying to do what's right as this really, really great daughter and it doesn't work out or it slows you down, there's tremendous opportunity day for resentment there. So the very person you're trying to help becomes the object of your resentment.

That's not the way you want to end the journey with them. And so by doing it your way, by getting wealthy, and then when they are in a desperate situation, you have the means to be able to help them and take care of them as opposed to try to change their behavior. Well, it's the same exact math. It just has different options of what you do with the account. That's correct. I mean, you're putting $1,000 a month in mutual funds,

and it's got mom's name on it. You're putting $1,000 a month in mutual funds, and it's got my name on it. Then when it's mine and there's money in there and there's a million's name on it, you're putting $1,000 a month in mutual funds, and it's got my name on it, then when it's mine and there's money in there and there's a million dollars in that account, then I can look back and go, or I can look over here and say, oh, mom needs some help. But if it's all kind of got mom's name on it, then it feels weird for you to do something else with it when it was your money all along. Yeah.

Just got to be careful. That's your point. It can set up resentment. There's emotion there. Oh, there is. And you can't fix mom but it is it is a good thing to want to be a blessing to people absolutely and to be generous absolutely not to be an enabler no but it is a good thing her heart's completely in the right place sweetheart there's no question about that but you just don't um you know you don't have to take adults to raise in that sense. And then, you know, there may be all kinds of situations around mom later that you don't want to participate in.

You never know. So you just got to, you just got to, it keeps your options open when you just, I'm just going to build wealth and then I'll decide if I need to do something with it later. Ken Coleman, good show. Thank you, sir. James Childs, Kelly Daniel in the booth. I am Dave Ramsey, your host. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to

financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus. Have a friend or family member that needs a daily dose of Ramsey advice in their life? Let them know about the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast. It's a quick hit of advice about life and money in under 10 minutes. Check out the Ramsey Call of the Day podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.