The Ramsey Show - App - I Need Advice Guiding My Entrepreneurial Teenagers (Hour 2)

Episode Date: August 12, 2020

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Starting point is 00:00:16 Music Music Music Music Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Dave Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us.
Starting point is 00:00:43 Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. Anthony O'Neill, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, is my co-host today here on the air, and we're answering your questions about your life and about your money. Frankie is on the line in Michigan. Hey, Frankie, how are you? I'm doing good. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up in your world?
Starting point is 00:01:17 So my husband and I have about just shy of $8,000 left to pay off, and we have that amount that's going to be coming in within probably the next week that we can get done and just have everything paid off, which is exciting other than our house. Good. Yeah. We have about $100,000 emergency fund, and we just found out my transmission just went out of my car. It's a 2009 Saturn Aura with just over 100,000 miles.
Starting point is 00:01:44 You have how much in your emergency fund again? $1,000, and then we have about $4,500 in our bank account right now. Okay. All right. Yep. And so the cost to fix this is going to be, they're estimating like $2,400. And I'm not really sure how much it's worth it, if we should just continue and just get the car fixed and ride it out till it dies, or if the fix isn't worth it and we
Starting point is 00:02:12 should be looking at buying something. But with the money that we're going to have left over once we get all of our debt paid off, it's probably not going to be that great of a car anyway. So I didn't know which route to take. So what's a car worth? Fixed. I mean, fixed probably worth maybe $400. Yeah. Very difficult to spend $2,400 on it then. Yeah, kind of.
Starting point is 00:02:36 Yeah, here's the formula. If you could sell the car as is today for $2,000 with a bad transmission, and if you spent $2,400 on it, it would be and if you spent $2,400 on it, it would be as if you had $4,400 in it, and it's probably worth $3,000, then you wouldn't fix that car. You would sell it as is, and you would take the money from the sale,
Starting point is 00:02:58 and the money that you would have spent on the transmission and buy a better car than what that one's going to be when it's fixed. Right. Okay. And I think that's kind of where this is. Find out what you can sell it for salvage like it is. Yeah. Transmission is completely gone, right? Yeah, it's pretty out.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Okay. Is it drivable? Honestly, maybe you could make it to be fixed and that's it. So, no, not really. So, anybody that buys, it's going to buy it as a fixer-upper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So try to figure out what it's worth as is,
Starting point is 00:03:27 and then say, plus $2,400, do I really want that in that car? It sounds like this one's questionable. It's not a slam dunk one way or the other. I mean, if it's a $15,000 car, you spend $2,400 on it to fix it. If it's a $1,000 car, you don't spend $2,400 on it to fix it if it's a thousand dollar car you don't spend 2400 to fix it so that's the point and that the formula is simply what you can get for it plus that 2400 repair or is there a way because this is a car that's on its last leg anyway put a used transmission in it from the salvage yard or get a you know get a mechanic to tune this one up or i don't know i
Starting point is 00:04:03 don't know the car i don't know the transmission. I don't know the transmission, so I couldn't tell you. But is there a cheap fix, a Band-Aid fix, rather than a full-on fix that's maybe $1,000 or $1,500? If it's a Honda, Toyota, Nissan, I would definitely look into a Savage transmission. I've done that before on my Nissan Maxima, the first car that I had. And they ran me $1,200 for the transmission and for them to install it, Dave. That's right. You had a car that wouldn't go backward. It wouldn't go in reverse, and it was a transmission.
Starting point is 00:04:30 I had forgotten about that. Yes, sir. That was part of your story. Oh, trust me. I will never forget about that. You filled it up with stereo equipment that would shake an eight-block area, but it wouldn't go in reverse. It would not go in reverse. You were that guy.
Starting point is 00:04:42 Yes, sir. Not now. Not now. Sure enough. Sure enough sure enough yeah sure enough i do remember this story now but you really did you put a salvage salvage from a junkyard yeah literally went in there and um had one of the auto guy who was doing it he had to come in there to and pull it out of the car and it worked perfectly for another two years so that could be another option for to consider wow absolutely incredible you know but i like your idea first if she can buy a good quality car that's the route that i'm gonna sell it salvage not fool with it but you know you may
Starting point is 00:05:16 that may be the answer so um the the point is don't spend i don't think you're gonna spend 2400 on this car no i think i'm I'm going to find another way around this to work my way through this if I'm in your shoes. Hey, thanks for the call. We appreciate you joining us. Allie is with us. Allie is in Mobile, Alabama. Hi, Allie. How are you?
Starting point is 00:05:36 Hi, I'm doing good, Dave. How are you and Anthony doing today? Better than we deserve. What's up? Okay. So me and my husband just started listening to y'all about two three weeks ago and we are done with baby step one we're on two um we have 48 000 in debt and 36 000 of that is my car oh i know what kind of car is it um it's a y's a Yukon XL. It's a 2015.
Starting point is 00:06:05 Okay. So we're talking about selling it, been thinking about it for about a week now myself, and I just brought it up to my husband last night. So if we could sell it for $29,000, which Kelly Blue Book value, that's kind of in the middle, we would still owe about 6,500 on it roughly um i don't have that cash um just laying around to finish paying it all um so i kind of wanted to see what you would recommend me doing like get a loan or how would i go about doing that yeah i would get a loan for that amount
Starting point is 00:06:46 because i'd rather be 6 000 in debt than 36 000 in debt and um who is the car financed through capital one okay you're probably not going to get any help from them um they're not not a very helpful company that was nice uh and so you, your local credit union, your small town bank, your regional bank in the area, if you do business with one of those or if you could do business with one of those, they might make you an unsecured loan for $7,000 or something. What are you going to be driving if you do this? um so my husband has a um i think it's a 96 uh toyota 4runner that has about 300 000 miles on it um ac he says holding on by a paper clip so ac something goes but um i'm trying to get us paid off like debt free by my birthday which is in fe February. So you would be down to one car, is that what you're telling me?
Starting point is 00:07:48 Yes. He has a company vehicle as well. Oh, okay. Okay. So he drives a company vehicle, you drive the junkie truck, and you get out of debt by February, and then you save up and move up in car. Yes. And his, I guess, holdback would be the car is so old, he doesn't know if it's going to break down any day now.
Starting point is 00:08:09 So what would you say to him about that? I think that car is going to make it until February. Absolutely. And if it doesn't, fix it. If it doesn't, if it's a bad breakdown, then there. But all cars break. All cars break down. Some of them more often than others, depending on the wear and tear, but that's a part of life.
Starting point is 00:08:31 I don't think you're taking a substantial risk between now and February. It's not that long of a run. If you're doing it for 10 years, that might be a legitimate fear, but I wouldn't worry about it. I think you're on a good plan here. Families all over the country are discovering a faith-based and budget-friendly way of meeting health care costs, whether they're anticipated or completely unexpected. For example, take the Olcheski family from LaGrange, Texas. Jeff and Carice had just celebrated the birth of a new baby boy. Shortly after, they had another expensive medical issue come up. They could have faced a huge
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Starting point is 00:11:14 Know Yourself, Know Your Money. Rachel Cruz's new book in the online store at DaveRamsey.com. Al is with us in Dallas. Hi, Al. Welcome to the Dave Ramsey Show. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? So my parents are split up. They're divorced, and my dad recently passed away. He didn't have a trust. He didn't have a will, but his wishes were to have the house under my brother, my name, and my sister's name. Well, it turns out that the actual house, the title is under my mom's name, which is in his name and his sister, which the sister is not cooperating,
Starting point is 00:12:01 does not want to give the signature for us three kids to be in the title. So I'm trying to decipher what would be the best route to go about refinancing, new title, selling the house. The issue is that my brother lives there where my dad used to be you know he's got my dad's house and he doesn't believe that he wants us three to be in the title that he should own the house he doesn't he doesn't believe what that he that that us three should be on the title your brother doesn't exactly okay because he's been living for my dad and so you know it's such a different story but my my daughter uh part of my dad passing away he had to do deal with him with him also involved in that it's a different um but what i'm saying is like uh it's uh he
Starting point is 00:13:00 believes that you know because he's been living there for a long time that he should be able to own the house. Oh, okay. Well, let me, let me help you with this. Okay. What your, what your aunt wants or what you want or what your dad wanted, doesn't have anything to do with anything anymore. There's a simple reality. Legally, you need to see, you need to see an attorney.
Starting point is 00:13:24 There was no will your mother is in partners with her ex-sister-in-law and her three children own the other third you own one-sixth of this house is what the attorney is going to tell you you have a freaking mess, my friend. Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh, it's, uh, it's more the, uh, the actual, the, the actual, uh, my dad, what my dad wanted is to basically, uh. Your dad should have done a will. What he wanted now doesn't matter. Yeah. He didn't do a will.
Starting point is 00:13:59 So I could actually hire an attorney even though I'm not under title. You are an heir to your father. There's three living heirs to your father. He had three kids. He doesn't have any other heirs, does he? No. It's basically just my brother and my sister. So your father used to own one-third of the house.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Okay. His sister owned one-third and his ex-wife owned one-third. Yes, got it. The divorce doesn't matter since they didn't execute the divorce either. Your family doesn't do paperwork much. So your mom never gave up her half of the house or her third of the house after the divorce, and she was probably supposed to. But since she never got it done, your dad never got it done, she still owns it.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Yes, exactly. And that's what she's trying to decide. I'm so sorry. She's trying to decide because she says, like, well, I kind of own the house, but I want to kind of give the house to my brother because he's been living there for a while. It's like, well, you know what? My dad wanted to. What's the house worth? The house is actually, I mean, it is a rundown house maybe 200 000 or 150 and they only owe about 40 grand uh on it because they have
Starting point is 00:15:15 a second mortgage what do you what do you make a year what do i make a year of about 115 000 between my wife and i okay man i gotta tell you that you're you're gonna your portion of this one sixth of the equity is your portion yeah it ain't worth it i just sign it over to whoever wants it i don't care and let them all sit over there and fight in a big pile. Yeah. Because this is going to end up being a, you're going to spend more in legal fees to get this mess untangled because the players aren't wanting to play. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:53 And nobody's wanting to do the same thing. Everybody's got their own little thing. And you own one-sixth of a mess. Yeah, that's about 15 000 so what do you mean so so what do you mean it would be possible for my mom to like refinance the house and no no you can't refinance the house unless all the owners sign yeah what about the actual funding of the house she will have to pay my aunt off you can't sell the house unless all the owners sign. Yeah. That's a big mess.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Yeah. And so the only way to get the house refinanced or get it sold is to get everybody to agree and sign deeds over to one person or two people or whatever and get all this dadgum mess cleaned up or go to court and have a judge force the sale of the house and then everybody gets their part but you're going to spend more money than you're going to get in lawyer's fees gotcha so i i mean i really if if i were in your shoes i would just uh sit back and watch this happen i wouldn't say another word you you're trying to fix it because you're a good guy uh but it's a mess from the divorce when there was a divorce done your mom was supposed to
Starting point is 00:17:10 a quick claim deed probably over to your dad and then he would be the two-thirds owner you'd have controlling interest the three of you would you could force your aunt to sell it you don't have controlling interest you have a one-sixth interest now If your mom signs over her portion to your brother, you sign over your portion to your brother, we might force your aunt out at that point, but she's going to get her portion at the sale. And the house probably needs to be sold and clean up the mess is probably what needs to happen,
Starting point is 00:17:37 and then everybody gets some money and walks away. But your brother's delusional because he lived there. He thinks he has some kind of squatter's rights or something. I don't know. He's delusional because he lived there he thinks he has some kind of squatters rights or something i don't know he's delusional he's not they're not getting anything anthony this is why you don't will that's exactly why i just about to say that dave i'm over here confused myself like what wait huh this is why i have a will at 36 years old because i don't want that to happen if something happened to me to my house house and my assets. Yeah. And you don't have any kids. You don't have a wife, but you got family. You got brothers, sisters, moms, and dads.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Yes, sir. And you don't want all them fighting. Don't. I want it to be simple. Read my will and y'all going back to business. And if you have a detailed will showing exactly what's supposed to happen, then that is the only option. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:22 But in where there is no will, then it's a straight set of whatever the probate law is in that state. But in most states, it would be pretty much like I outlined for him. In most cases, that's what's going to happen. And if you go through a divorce, get the quit claim done on the dadgum thing. Get the house refinanced. Get the mortgage out of the person's name that no longer owns it. So his mom should not have given a quit claim unless his dad refinanced it, got the mortgage out of her name, and then she gives a quick claim deed.
Starting point is 00:18:49 Then dad would have owned two-thirds because apparently his sister owns a third. Yeah. Wow. What a mess. I'm confused. How did the sister even get involved? Yeah. That's the other thing.
Starting point is 00:19:00 So this is where I, when people are all sitting around on the back porch drinking beer and they come up with, let's all buy a house together. This is where it leads you. This is where it ends up. Not in my house. Beer pong financial planning. Ouch. This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Music Most people's money problems come from not paying attention. That's why before I spend a dime of my money on something,
Starting point is 00:19:55 I do the research and make sure it's going to live up to what it claims. Recently, I got a great pair of sunglasses from a company called Shady Rays. When you're looking for sunglasses, it feels like your options are limited. Name brand sunglasses cost too much, and the cheap knockoffs are ugly and really don't protect your eyes. Discovering Shady Rays is a game changer. With Shady Rays, you can count on premium sunglasses that protect your eyes and are affordable. They give people the best overall value in sunglasses. They also replace your shades with a brand new pair if you lose or break them from day one of your purchase.
Starting point is 00:20:31 And they guarantee your sunglasses for life. Plus, they offer an exclusive for Ramsey Show listeners. Go to ShadyRays.com and use the code RAMSEY for 50% off two or more pairs. That's ShadyRays.com, code Ramsey. In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt-free stage with a question is June from Omaha, Nebraska. Hi, June. How are you? Hey, Dave and Ayo. It's good to see you guys.
Starting point is 00:21:12 Good to see you. How can we help? So we want to thank your team. My husband and I have been debt-free for about a year and a half. Way to go. So because we've listened to you so much, our daughters have sometimes been tortured in the car for hours and hours, just listening to the show. And we talked a lot about business and they're very entrepreneurial minded, but sometimes as many teenagers can be, they have so many ideas rolling around that it's hard to kind of hone it in. So my husband and I would like to know how we can guide them,
Starting point is 00:21:39 but at the same time, not crush that spirit. Okay. That's really good. Give me a, give me an example, which I mean, as far as in, they crush that spirit. Okay. That's really good. Give me, give me an example, what you mean as far as in, they have a lot of ideas. Give me like three examples they have. So sometimes they talk about, they want to bake and sell their baking. One is very good at painting. She would love to sell her paintings. They talk about maybe starting a dog walking
Starting point is 00:21:58 business or just, so it's kind of all over the spectrum. So that's why some guidance will be great. You know, as their mother, where do you see their strengths are? Because I think young people, we will come to the table with a lot of ideas, but as a mother and a father, you can guide us and say, you know what? Longevity, this is where you're strong at.
Starting point is 00:22:17 And we're just going to focus on this one thing. So when you said is good at painting, is that her strength right now? Then also we got to identify, can you even make money with painting at the age of 15 years old right now? Right. Obviously, there's so there's one that's a good baker and who loves to paint and her paintings are amazing. So I would say if I were to see somebody selling paintings for a younger person who is maybe trying to earn some money to go to college or a car, I would definitely buy something like that. So I think I would love to encourage her in that. Now the other daughter loves animals and I would love to encourage her in possibly starting, Hey, we'll do dog walking. But then there's always the questions. Okay. Do we have to have professional liability insurance? Like what's
Starting point is 00:22:59 the ramifications on our end of it versus, you know, what she can handle as like a 14 year old. So. Yeah. So the dog walking business is actually very, very common and very, very lucrative for a young person. Actually, my most recent product we did about a couple of years ago, Dave, Teen Entrepreneur Toolbox Kit. One of our young kids in there was making about $45,000 just from watching dogs, walking dogs a year. So it's very, very lucrative. So I like that idea. I'm not privileged to the painting thing, but I do know one thing.
Starting point is 00:23:33 People are always hungry. And so baking, you know, you can honestly make some good money as a young person in that. I don't know about the painting side. So definitely go with your strengths. But those two are good. But I would definitely get our teen entrepreneur toolbox kit. And as a matter of fact, I'll give you one, um, cause we're going to teach you everything you need to have in place for those two beautiful young girls out there for what you need to have to be a legit running business. And so, uh, there are not any insurance requirements for every state for walking dogs, but there are some. So you do have to go by the state that you're in.
Starting point is 00:24:08 Okay. Yeah. And most of the time you don't worry about it. Yeah. Most of the time it's just, you know, I'm not going to make a big deal of this. The point of a teenager starting and running a business is not that that's probably going to be their life's work. The point is not that they're going to make a lot of money. The point is they're going to learn how to work.
Starting point is 00:24:29 They're going to learn how to be good to customers and smile and put up with a crazy person every so often. Those are called customers. And they're going to learn how to price something at more than they paid to make it. You don't want to lose 10 cents a watermelon and get a bigger truck you know so you learn how to price it and make a margin and so it's all about the lessons yeah that they get it's not about that that's going to actually become their life's work or make them wealthy with the rare, very, very rare exception of some kid who, you know,
Starting point is 00:25:05 goes on and starts making unbelievable, crazy money doing something, which happens one out of a thousand or one out of 2000 young entrepreneurs or whatever. I mean, I have met the 17 year old that made four point two million dollars building an app for animal farm. Yes. Or something. Is that a thing? Yeah, it is.
Starting point is 00:25:24 Yeah. He bought he built an app on like with cheat codes and stuff how to add stuff to the animal farm and had made like four million bucks and so that but that's very very his dad worked for him now but it's very unusual but the uh what most of the time when i'm my kids are working it wasn't that i was trying to i was just trying to teach them entrepreneurism, and, you know, shake someone's hand, look them in the eye, smile, take care of the customer, and pricing model, price it for enough that you make a margin.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Here's what margin is. Here's what your, you know, your gross revenues are, your net profits, cost of goods sold, and other things come out of the middle of that, and you start teaching basic accounting and some simple stuff. I mean, when I cut grass at 12 years old, it wasn't because I was going to own a landscape company, but I, you know, but I had to take my gas from my lawnmower, my repairs on my dad's lawnmower because I was wearing his out, and, you know, the purchase of a new weed eater or something out of that, and then minus, you know, from all the income that I created. And then that's my net profit. And it made me keep a profit and loss statement on my business at 12 years old. And so oddly enough, I'm still doing that. So that part's good. So I think the lessons are what you're after. And one of the lessons you're talking about is focus. Yeah. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:26:41 absolutely. And so it might be that you could look at like we would look at a business here we've got two opportunities we don't have the ability time-wise the bandwidth to do both so let's analyze and say okay if you sold if you made a painting it takes this long to make it and you would sell it for this you'd have some supplies cost in there and so you could do this many paintings in a year and you would make x well instead if you did baking you probably could do more of that it's probably cheaper uh you know and so you'd have to sell the paintings for a lot more in order to offset what the baking would do and you can compare the two things from a business comparison and then choose one.
Starting point is 00:27:29 So maybe that's one of the lessons because you simply can't do both well. I mean, you could put your finger in both things, but that's not good entrepreneurship either. So you start with one, get it going, and then if you want to add something to it later, fine, once you've got this one going. But, you know, I start looking at the simple logistics of how much of this I can put out what's the output and therefore what's the profit going to be and then compare those two opportunities and choose one that's a business analysis and it's not that it's not i mean a primitive business analysis so not not that complicated so i think the thing i have to remember when i was raising kids was i'm really not training them to do this thing. I'm using this thing to train them to be adults.
Starting point is 00:28:08 As a tool. Yeah. Yeah. How old are you kids? So the blonde over here is 14, Chastity, and the brunette will, sorry, the blonde is going to be 15 like next week. Okay. And their brunette is going to be 14 next month.
Starting point is 00:28:23 Okay. Great. Very cool. Well, Anthony, we'll take care of, Kat will take care of you and get you in a toolbox a teen entrepreneur toolbox and help you get that done and that'll be helpful too it's a pretty incredible product anthony put together so congratulations well done thank you so much open phones at 888-825-5225 brad is with us in Dallas. Hi, Brad.
Starting point is 00:28:45 How are you? Very good, sir. How are you guys doing? Better than I deserve. How can we help? Yes, sir. So I'm a paramedic here in Texas, and we have a mandatory 7% that we have to donate to our pension. I was curious what would be better to do with the other 8%, whether it be the 457 plan that has no employer match or roll it over into a Roth? I would do a Roth.
Starting point is 00:29:14 Okay. The 457 is tax deferred and the Roth is tax free. Yes, sir. Free is better than deferred. That's kind of where I was at. And I had a buddy of mine. He was like, absolutely not. That's the wrong choice, and he said, the people you go talk to, they're not millionaires. I said, well, I'll just call them millionaires. Well, here's the way the math shakes out, okay? If you put the same amount in the same mutual funds in a 457 it's tax deferred growth it's deferred comp all right yes sir and let's say that that account grows to five hundred thousand dollars okay yes you put the exact same amount in your roth in the exact same mutual funds it would also grow to five hundred thousand dollars. In the 457, the $500,000 is taxable. In the Roth, it is not.
Starting point is 00:30:07 So taxes on $500,000 would be $150,000, which is how wrong your friend is. Yeah. You can tell he's not a millionaire. This is the Dave Ramsey Personality, number one best-selling author, also the creator of the Teen Entrepreneur Toolbox, is my co-host today here on the show. Open phones at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225.
Starting point is 00:31:09 Sarah is in Louisville, Kentucky. Hi, Sarah. How are you? Hi. I'm doing well. How are you all doing? Great. How can we help?
Starting point is 00:31:19 Yes. So I have a question. Me and my husband just got married in June, and we've been together for almost nine years until I got out of college. So we decided to get married, and his views on having the same or separate bank accounts has changed right before we got married, basically. And I guess what I wanted to ask you is what do you suggest
Starting point is 00:31:51 or how do you think we can communicate on compromising on if we should have separate or the same accounts? I personally would rather have a joint account because we're married now. We're a couple. We're one. He feels that we should have separate. Why? Good question. I tried to ask him that, and he doesn't – I don't know.
Starting point is 00:32:20 It's hard to explain. I guess he doesn't want to be managed, which, like, as far as asking him why he spent his money on this or that. Not his money. Yeah, I was just about to say that. It's not what? It's not his money. And it's not your money. It's your money. And it's not your money. It's yours. Yes, I agree.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Yeah, it's our money. If you want to be independent, you shouldn't get married. I told him that. Yeah. I was like, you know, I was like, then, you know, I just. Okay, let me tell you. Let's talk this through, okay? Jesus said your treasure is where your heart is.
Starting point is 00:33:07 Where you spend your money is a direct reflection of what your views on life are, what your value system is, what your fears are, what your dreams are, and how you spend your money reflects all of that. When a couple does not combine their spending and their accounts and their goals, then they haven't combined their goals, and they haven't combined their dreams, and they don't face the fears together. They're doing life as two roommates, which is what you did for nine years. That's the problem.
Starting point is 00:33:54 And then, but the, you know, you haven't combined where you're going. And so communication is down and there's a high, a much higher probability of marital problems and divorce in that situation. And the other piece of it is this, out of the 10,000 millionaires that we interviewed, one of the things we found very, very consistently in the largest study of millionaires ever done was that they combined accounts and worked together with their spouses, and their spouses were supportive and cheerleading. I agree. They weren't pulling apart. It's weird. They were pulling each other apart. Yeah, I agree. It's weird. I come from one out of eight.
Starting point is 00:34:33 He's the only child, grandchild. So, I mean, our values and views are the same besides, of course, the question I'm asking you. But as far as that, you know, we try to work together. Well, I think you need to get some mar you know we try to work together well i think you i think you need to get some marital counseling yes that's what i think okay and have a good someone that you can both trust to speak into this whether it's your a local pastor or a good marriage counselor someone you can both get trust with because the idea that you know i don't want my wife telling me what to do well i don't want my wife telling me what to do well i don't want my wife telling me what to do either and sharon doesn't want me telling her what to do and so we
Starting point is 00:35:12 lay out a game plan together that we both have a vote in and i don't tell her what to do and she doesn't tell me what to do we talk through it and we both come to the same conclusion that this amount of money is going for this but i don't just wander off and go do whatever the flip I want to do. And, oh, by the way, Sharon has not created a personal income by herself that she created income in 34 years. All the income that comes into the house I did, but it's still our money. It's our income. And I treat it as if she created the income in terms of her vote
Starting point is 00:35:49 is equal to mine when we get ready to make a large purchase when we get ready to make a decision we have to do it equal and um he listen this is going to be very difficult for y'all it's gonna it's gonna really hold you back it's gonna be a stumbling block in your communication, in your relationships, if you don't solve it. I don't have a magic wand to make it go away. Yeah. And Sarah, what you got to do is you need to tell him, I mean, actually go find a counselor that's willing to meet with you all and then come to him and say, you know, uh, babe, can we, can we just get some, some wisdom? Uh, don't make it just about this, make it about, Hey, we just want a healthy start you know so that way he doesn't feel attacked he doesn't feel like you're just trying to prove a point but say you
Starting point is 00:36:31 know what hey let's get some counseling let's get some wisdom around our marriage so how we could do this start off on the right foot and then bring that up in that situation because dave here's my thing if if he's having a problem with that, he's having some other problems and other things within their relationship as well. Yeah, agreed. And so I would definitely recommend that Sarah to please listen to us. Get a counselor, but get a counselor for everything, not just one particular issue. Yeah, we pretty much one of the conditions of me giving a blessing for one of mine getting married was that they're going to do detailed in-depth pre-marriage counseling because they come from a weird family. Yes.
Starting point is 00:37:11 Can you imagine being my kid? Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. What a blessing and what a curse. Yeah, yeah. You know? And so, or can you imagine marrying my kid and having to put up with this loudmouth family that's got a lot of opinions.
Starting point is 00:37:25 So you've got to get ready for this stuff. And so if you're a single, if you're an only child and the only grandchild, and so you think you're special, well, you're bringing problems to the marriage. If you're one of eight and you're used to sharing everything, maybe way too much, you might be bringing problems to the marriage. Guess what? We all bring problems to the marriage. I know. And learning to work through those things. And so it's different like when you get married in your 30s versus somebody getting married
Starting point is 00:37:52 at 21. It's a different game because you're kind of set in your way. I really am. You've got your little system, Mr. Bachelor. Yeah. I'm selfish, Dave. I know that. And, you know, somebody's going to interrupt your system.
Starting point is 00:38:04 You know, that's going to require some system. You know, that's going to require some discussion. Dave, can we move on past the subject? I'm over here like, man, Dave is kind of scaring me from getting married. I mean, can you imagine Rachel Cruz
Starting point is 00:38:18 and Winston Cruz sitting in pre-marriage counseling discussing Dave Ramsey? No. No. Not right now. Not at the age that they are right now i can promise you it ain't all good yeah yeah okay i know winston nah i know i know i'm a saint and i know i'm perfect but other than my other than my narcissism man listen listen i get it but you know that's what i imagine i mean i don't know dave but you know what the problems that you can i mean we have extra problems in this family because of the celebrity status and the wealth and the other stuff.
Starting point is 00:38:50 There's extra problems you're coming into more than just normal. Everyone to his Sarah to Anthony's point. Everyone has something to unpack. Absolutely. I'm going to have a lot to unpack. You know, my brother's getting married next month, Dave, and he actually did premarital counseling before he engaged because he knew that they both had a lot to unpack. So before they even said, yes, let's get married, they went to counseling beforehand to see if pre-marriage, pre-pre. Yeah. And he said it was the best decision. So I said, okay, I'm gonna try
Starting point is 00:39:21 that when I do find one. And I'm going to try that as well. Yeah. Because there is a lot that comes with me. I mean, you're going to have the same exact thing because you're in the spotlight. Everybody knows who you are. You've got a huge social media following. Yeah. People recognize you when you're walking down the street, you know. And that's a weird thing to marry into.
Starting point is 00:39:37 It is. It's a strange dynamic. And, you know, so it's just a thing just a thing so yeah and everybody's got something like that so and sarah in your husband's case it's just that he thinks the top the access the world runs through the top of his head because his parents and grandparents told him that because he's the only one running around nobody else running around underfoot and that doesn't make him a bad guy but uh he he's gonna have to share for the first time in his life. Yes.
Starting point is 00:40:06 If he wants to be a good husband. That's just, hey, that's not picking on him. We're all got stuff. We're sitting here unpacking our stuff in front of you. So there you go. Good hour. Good hour. Thanks, James Childs, our producer.
Starting point is 00:40:21 Kelly Daniel, our associate producer and phone screener. I am Dave Ramsey, your host, and we'll be back. Hey, it's Kelly, associate producer and phone screener for the Dave Ramsey Show. If you would like to do your debt-free scream live on the show, make sure you visit DaveRamsey.com slash show and register. We would love for you to come to Nashville and tell Dave your story.

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