The Ramsey Show - App - I Run My Own Business – When Should I Hire My First Employee? (Hour 1)

Episode Date: November 5, 2021

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Thank you. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Dr. John Deloney, best-selling author and host of the ever-popular Dr. John Deloney podcast. As my co-host today, you can talk directly to him. The phone number is 888-825-5225.

If you didn't know, he talks about life and anxiety and boundaries and mental health and those kinds of things, relationship issues. So we'll talk about that. We'll talk about your money. We'll talk about your life, and we're going to do it all right in front of you. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Starting off this hour is Caitlin in Houston, Texas. Hey, Caitlin, what's up in your world? Hey, Dave and Don.

Thanks for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? Hey, so my fiance and I were due to get married in about two weeks. My question is about prenups. I've heard you talk about them previously, but not as it relates to a business. And he's brought it up once before. I explained to him why I don't like them.

And I actually sent him a podcast you did on it. And apparently he understood from there and the subject was dropped, but he's brought it up again and he wants his business land money. He's acquired to this point all in the prenup. So I, I don't know what to tell him or how to help him understand my perspective, or maybe I'm wrong about businesses and a prenup.

He had a previous business partner go through a divorce and the wife tried to take part of the business. So I think that's part of his concern, but I don't know what to tell him or how to go. What does he make on this business? He makes, he has a 50-50 partner and he makes about $67,000 a year. Okay. Whoopty. Yeah.

Yeah, I was going to say high five, man. Yeah, that's awesome. But I mean, he doesn't make $680,000 a year. So, um, I have a lot of thoughts. Um, and most of them are too mean to say out loud without filtering them. And it's hard for me to be quiet because I've got a lot of mean thoughts in my head. Well, you go first, old meanie. Hey, Caitlin, I don't like –

Here's mean John. Here we go. I'm going to go nice. I don't like prenups. I don't like them. It feels like you're walking into something that there should not be an exit strategy for with at least a crack in the door or a toe out the door unless you've got some really complex situations um i just don't like them and i get that he's seen somebody get burned that makes sense to me what i don't like is you guys sat down and had this conversation you talked about it you made peace with it and then two weeks out he circled back and that feels like a move to me that feels

like a move that lacks integrity yeah like this discussion should have had before we made a baby and it sounds like you did have it right and this discussion should have been had before we were two weeks from marriage yeah this is ridiculous previously he just i i basically i said no and he and i and he agreed with the pay agreed with our stance on the podcast our stance on the podcast is what john is saying okay and i'll repeat what i probably said then because it's what i say every time i get this question okay if everything is fairly equal and this is fairly equal uh i would not marry someone that required a prenup because you are planning your failure. You're planning your failure.

And he loves his business, his half of his business, more than you. He's more worried about his business partner than you. And that's just, he didn't mean to say that, but this action says that. And so, no. No. Now, the only, and i used to when i first started this and you heard this on that podcast probably because i almost always say this i used to say no prenups ever the only time i say a prenup is a good idea is in extreme situation that's why i asked about the size of the business if he's making a million dollars a year on this

business and they own 20 million dollars worth of property and you got nothing. Yeah, that's an extreme situation. And that would warrant the differentiation is the difference is an extreme situation. And even then, I'm probably not 50 percent of the prenup is for the actual marriage. But 50 percent of it is for both of your crazy relatives. Because Uncle Crazy is a Junebug shows up and decides he wants your uncle crazy june bug decides he wants a piece of your husband's business that was there before you were or uncle june bug showed up and uh and you can just throw up your hands and go i can't help you i got a prenup and so it keeps the weirdness of your extended family in line and all extended family has weirdness it's

just every family so that's it's good in extreme situations this is not extreme enough this has to do with he was wounded by the other deal and he's extrapolating that into your new marriage and that is not good medicine right here's my concern for you this leaves you really exposed either way right because now you're having to either go into a marriage and sign a piece of paper that you don't feel comfortable marrying, which is going to put a wedge between you and this guy that you are tethering yourself to for the rest of your life. Or you're going to be a single mom here in September, right? Yeah.

So he's put you in an impossible situation. And that's why even beyond the prenup, I'll even go as far to say I get that he's been burned and he's been hurt before, and that's a scar fresh on his soul. I get that. Cool. I don't like that he waits until 2. That feels like a move to me, and that feels like somebody that's going to pull move after move after move on you here in the future. And even if he wasn't meaning to do that and was manipulative right he has unbelievably bad timing

right yeah at a minimum yeah that's giving him the benefit of the doubt i mean you know you you you settle this before we make babies before we get engaged right and hey here's the here's the bigger thing dave i know there's millions of people are going to hear this and say that's stupid that is stupid you got to protect yourself if and say that's stupid. That is stupid. You've got to protect yourself. If they say that, they're stupid. I wasn't going to say that, but here's what I was going to say. If that's your first response, then don't get married.

Yeah. Don't get married. Let me give you a weird, the weirdest one I ever had was a lady called and said, My fiance has a classic 1968 Mustang that's worth $140,000 that he built built frame up and he wants a prenup to protect that and uh papa dave said don't marry him yep what don't marry him he loves this stupid car more than you that's right don't marry him if it's my daughter i'd run that guy off with a gun right no do not marry him this is not marriage material he has his priorities all screwed up if you love a car more than you love your fiance you are not marriage material and it will move over time that car will become a boat which will

become a house which will become a my kids going to this college and nobody else it'll become a thing it has to be It'll become a thing. It has to be. I'll take a bullet for you. It's the only shot you've got at making it through a marriage. Yeah, because you've got to burn all the boats, man, because marriage is hard. Everybody's going to have a moment where you go, I'm done with you. I'm out.

I'm out. I'm out. And if you say you haven't had that, then you haven't been married. Then you're lying. Or you're lying. You've got to run to the shore and realize, oh, I don't have any boats. Oh, God. I said, oh, yeah, there's nowhere to go. I can't drive off in my classic car.

And so, yeah, you've got to make it work. I want somebody that will look at my daughter and my son and say, I'll set that car on fire for you. That's the guy that's going to sit at my kitchen table. Yeah. Right? And this business is how I make a living. And I love my business, and I love being in business, but it doesn't even show up on the same spectrum.

Oh, welcome. I love it all tomorrow. My love for you. That's right. Now play that one back for Bubba. This is the important than ever. While some circumstances can't be controlled, there are items within your budget you can take charge of, such as your health care costs. For nearly 40 years, Christian Health Care Ministries, or CHM,

has provided a budget-friendly means of sharing for medical bills when our members need it. Learn more by visiting chministries.org slash budget. That's chministries.org slash budget. Christian Health Care Ministries is a ramsey trusted provider dr john deloney ramsey personality is my co-host today open phones at 888-825-5225 brian is with us. Brian is in Denver. Hi, Brian. How are you?

I'm good. How are you all? Better than I deserve. What's up? I just wanted to know if I should, I only work four days a week, 40 hours. That's all I can get until when it goes to five days a week, but they shorten the hours till three o'clock should i get a second job or use that time to figure out you know uh a side hustle or you know what my passion is uh are you working on getting out of debt what's your financial situation i'm on

baby step two so okay so money matters then right yes so which one's going to pay you the most uh in the short term i'd say getting a second job but in the long term a side hustle you know you can scale that indefinitely if you're good at it what's the side hustle i hadn't figured that part out yet so i was i think there's some side hustles that you could make more this month on than working a part-time job i mean you could just you know if you decide um i don't know i'll just make up something let's say you're you have carpentry skills and you decide you're going to build decks uh you make more doing that this month than you can drive an uber

right right but i mean because i mean you need a hammer and a saw and get your button gear you know but if you're starting a business that you're going to have to invest in for month after month after month after month and it be uh six months before you start making an income, then to your point, yeah, you probably should take just a job because you need the money right now to get out of debt. And I think the magic would be linking the two. Yeah. If you want to start a side hustle building, Dex, do you get a job at Home Depot learning how that thing works and talk to tradesmen?

Or if you want to start an ice cream shop, do you get a second job in an ice cream shop but it sounds like you're not there yet it sounds like you just need to get to working and get some cash in your door yeah but i mean there's a lot of side hustle small business ideas that make you more money than going down and collecting minimum wage somewhere and you can start them tomorrow you can go mow lawns exactly yeah you'll make money instantaneously i mean you get your leaf blower rich people are afraid of leaves they'll pay you to get rid of i haven't heard that it's jt is with us jt is in uh spokane washington hi jt how are you good how are you doing better than i deserve what's up hey so i'm just at a bit of a crossroads

with my business right now and struggling to find out what my next move is um basically i'm swamped with work i'm just i'm super busy i'm working well over 40 hours a week um and the income that it's bringing in is just the right amount, you know, to put food on the table and live modestly. Right. Um, but I don't have any time to, we need to, you know, grow the income and, uh, and grow the business and, and, you know, obviously just advance and grow this thing. But, um But I just don't have any time to market and really put a lot of time into the business rather than just the work. So I need to hire an employee,

but I can't afford to drop my income by hiring an employee. So I'm kind of at this limbo just wondering, okay, how do I handle this and what do I do? What do you do? i repair dental tools you repair dental what tools like the little dental schools i thought wow dental schools no tools those little itty bitty my referrals. Okay. So if you had 10 hours a week freed up, you would spend that on marketing, which would result in more business, correct? Correct. Now, who would do the work when you got more business if you had that 10 hours a week freed up? Well, I would hire somebody and teach them to do a portion of the work yeah okay so here

here's my point at this stage of the game uh you are either going to hire someone to uh you're probably going to hire someone and mentor them and show them how to do the stuff and for a month or so how long would it take you to get them up where they can do some work without you watching? Oh, probably a month, month and a half. So you bring somebody on board, and you pay them for a month, and you make less that month by what you've paid them, okay? Because you've got the same income coming in. You've got the same output

same number of drills being repaired correct for that one month and so you lose money that month over where you are today but then the next month uh the new guy you've now uh you can almost double your output starting the next month. So you're going to let him do half of the jobs the next month, and you're going to spend that 20 hours out of 40 going and getting new business. And you're going to spend the other 20 hours doing the repairs from the new business that you came in, and you're going to make a lot more in the second month if you can go get more business. Follow me?

Yeah, yeah. But you're not going to be a full-time marketer and have one guy doing repairs, because right now you've got one guy doing repairs. That's your entire output. But you have to increase your output of repairs in addition to doing the marketing. You follow me?

Yeah. And so you're going to be working 50% on repairs in this first phase. Now, the next employee that you hire might get you out of the repair business and full-time into running the business. You've got two guys completely cranking out, two people completely cranking out repairs all day long while you're running the business in every sense. Okay. Making sure supplies are in. You're getting new business in. You're making sure the payroll is paid.

And it could be that, you know, that your next, your third person might be an administrative person. Okay. So that's kind of how I did it when I started. But here's the thing. You have to take a step back to take these other steps forward. But what you want to do is do it very systematically so that it's a very precise step. So that you don't want to go and uh it takes six months for this person to get up to speed on the repairs because then you're making a lot less money for six months

that's going to start to get really ouchy so it's important to have some really clear metrics on is this thing in 30 days or 60 days is this working or not yeah and i'd want to know how much business is actually is the business out there a function of me not being able to go get it, or does it really not exist? Yeah. Right. Yeah. You got to know that there's that many dental drills that you can get your hands on to repair.

Right. Can you double? Is there enough business out there that you can double your volume? Right. If you had a way to do it. Yeah. And if not, then you may need to raise your prices. That's exactly right.

And that'll slow your business down, too. But it'll give you an opportunity to make relationships with these folks. Yep. Yeah. If you're the only gig in town. Seems like a really niche operation there. Yeah, but there's a lot of dentists. Oh, yeah.

And they all have lots of drills. Tons of them, man. It never ceases to amaze me. There's so many jobs I never knew existed. Yeah. I mean. What a cool little business. So I was sitting with one of our guys at lunch, and he went to a birthday party for his kids,

and a guy has a foam machine. Have you seen these things? No. They plug it into a tub full of soap soap and it blows foam four feet deep across the park and they give all the kids at the birthday party goggles and they all run into the phone that's that's incredible it's like it's a bubble machine that's all it is and there's people in america unemployed right now and and bubble Boy is over here making a fortune. And what that guy does, he's got a full-time

job and he just does this on Saturdays, I'm sure. And he makes more. And he shows up with his machine. And he makes more with his bubbles. That's right. Than some of you sitting around waiting on your mama to fix your life. And he doesn't even clean up afterwards. He just leaves. Well, everybody's clean. The kids are clean. It's soap.

He's cleaning the park for America. It's soap. He's cleaning the park for America. It's for free. He cleaned the park for free. Guys, there's a job out there for everybody. For everyone. I'm just saying, if Bubble Boy can figure it out, everybody ought to be able to figure it out. As long as there are garages in America, there should be no unemployment. That's exactly right.

This is the Ramsey personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Jordan and Andrea are on the line in Canada. I see on my screen you guys are debt-free. Congratulations! Hi, thank you. We are. Way to go. How much have you paid off? We have paid off $129,575 in 26 months. And your range of income during that time? We started at $60,000, and we are at about $135,000 now. $60,000 to $135,000. So did somebody get a job that didn't have one?

How do you double your income in two years? Yes, we were on a single income while my husband went 1,500 kilometers away to school. I supported both of us on one income, and then he came home from school, and he has been crushing it ever since. Love it. Got a new job. What's his degree in? He is a funeral director.

In what? What's a field director? Funeral director. Oh, funeral. Oh. I thought, what field is he directing? In what? In funerals.

Yes, that would be the field. That's right. Okay. And what do you do? I'm a nurse. Awesome. And what was the debt, the $130,000? Oh, you name it.

We were totally normal. We had a truck. We had a lease, a pension buyback from maternity leave. We had financed a water system for our house, student loans, credit cards, line of credits. You guys were like normal. Totally normal. Wow. We're happy to be weird now.

What was the wake-up call that got you so intense to knock this out so quickly? For me, Jordan was away at school, and he had about three weeks left in school, and we had burned through all of our savings. And I said, you've got to come home and work, and he only had three weeks left. And that was just our absolute rock bottom, and I was so blessed to have a friend named Sarah on Instagram who she took the time to sit down with me and do a FaceTime call and teach me how to budget and use the EveryDollar app, and then I got started.

We read Financial Peace and Total Money Makeover, and we never looked back. And you made it through the three weeks alive, huh? Yeah. He almost didn't, but we did. Wow. Wow. So earlier today we took a call from somebody who is interested in playing a finance game with their, about a very similar debt number to yours for about a decade to 20 years.

On the other end of other side of having this all paid off, put into words what it feels like to not owe anybody anything. Relieving. Yeah, it's you know, all the money that we have is our money. And we can do whatever we want with it. You know, it's a huge

weight off our shoulders. It's so hard to put into words the type of emotions and feelings that we have um but that would be the the best that we could put into words is it's just absolutely unbelievable um and such a big relief for our family the horrible part of your story is also the most beautiful part of your story. It's when you completely emotionally hit the wall at that three-week mark and three weeks from him coming home.

And what that does is you will never go back. Never, never. Because of that feeling in your chest versus now there's not an elephant standing on your chest anymore. That's right. And, you know, no regrets. I'm so happy that this happened to us when we were in our 20s, and now we can move forward. It would have been nicer to happen in our teens when we could have learned

and moved forward a lot quicker, but no regrets. Just so blessed and so thankful that we were able to come across you and your team. It's just been unbelievable. $130,000 paid off in 26 months. People are listening going, okay, what did they do? What do you do? What's the key? What's the key for you?

Sticking with it. Yeah, sticking with it. It was the hardest but most gratifying process. The hardest part for us was getting started, like with anything else, getting started, educating ourselves, and getting that written budget down. It was a whirlwind, but it was worth every stressor, every transaction we made, putting that in that app.

I still do that daily. I was just doing that before this call. Not a day goes by that we don't track our budget. It's an absolute must. Amen. Amen. Jordan, what about your current line of work where you're a director? that we don't track our budget. It's an absolute must. Amen. Amen. Jordan, what about your current line of work where you're a director? What's that story?

What about your new line of work puts a little bit of urgency into the everyday? Yeah, I mean, it's definitely different than what I'm used to, but it was a welcome change, and along with new financial responsibilities responsibilities it really molded together nicely but you get you get a ringside seat into knowing at the end of the day where this all ends right you you're a funeral director and so the folks i know in that in that world tend to have

a little bit better grasp of the importance of every moment of every day of the relational costs right yeah exactly i mean we're all going to end up in the same place so yeah yeah way to go you guys are studs man you guys are amazing thank you yeah so i suspect the second part of your sentence a while ago on andrea is um the very hard to get, but then every month and every debt that went away, it got easier and easier and easier to where the whole thing was on a curve, to where it went from very hard to ridiculously in a zone. Yeah, absolutely.

And now it's become a hobby. Now it's not challenging. It's habitual. We do it every day. we talk about it every day every transaction um and now it's it's just life and it's amazing yeah it's part of the who's going to pick up the kids and where's the money yeah absolutely and where does it go yep that's it tell me where it went that's what i want to know. I love it. You guys are amazing. Well, we've got a copy of The Legacy Journey for you because that's for sure. You've changed your legacy, and that's the next chapter in your story. You're going to be off into the land of millionaire now and beyond, and infinity and beyond.

It's the Buzz Lightyear of finance. So, yeah, you're on your way. And also a copy of the Total Money Makeover for you to give to someone, like the friend gave you her time and love off of Instagram to step onto EveryDollar budgeting app and help you get going on that. I'm very well done. So, great job. Thank you so much. Jordan and Andrea from Canada, $130,000 paid off in 26 months, making $60,000 to $135,000.

Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Ready? Three, two, one. We're debt-free! Yeah! Yeah! I love it.

Wow. You couldn't have lined those numbers up, Dave, between that and the last call. Oh, yeah. Or a few calls ago, right? Almost the exact same income and the exact same amount of debt. And his wife was a nurse. I mean, it lines up. So you've got one person trying to finagle the math between 10 and 2 decades now,

10 years or 2 decades, or somebody who had that call, right? It's a good warning for all of us that are math nerds. Really good with math is a wonderful blessing, but it causes you to try to hide the P under the shell. And we have a little bit of arrogance in our approach to it that we think we can do it. Because the math works with a calculator. I mean, the regular math guy can't do that, but I think I can hide this P. But the stinking P is under one of those shells.

That's a problem. It's just a street game at the end of the day. So, yeah, it's tough. Tough. This is the Ramsey Show. Thank you for joining us, America. We're so glad you're with us. Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Thanks for being with us.

Are you tired of feeling stuck with your money like you'll never get out of debt or save enough for the future? Well, it doesn't have to be that way. You can make progress with your money and faster than you think. But the only way to make it happen is with a budget. That's why you need a Ramsey Plus membership. You get access to the premium version of our EveryDollar budgeting app as well as Financial Peace University. You plan out every dollar you'll need to spend or save before the month begins, and you connect your budget to your bank so you never miss a transaction.

Custom Budget Reports, this thing is the best budgeting app on the planet, and it's all part of Ramsey Plus. And when you budget, you get intentional with your money, you will make progress really fast, and you can start budgeting for free today. To start your free trial of Ramsey Plus, text TRIAL to 33-789. That's TRIAL to 33-789. Thank you for joining us, America. James is with us in San Diego.

Hi, James. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. I'm back there, Dean. How are you guys? Great, man. What's up? Hey, I had a question for you. I'm currently working in agriculture,

and I'm a manager for one of the large farms in our area. And about five years ago, I started a business on the side, and it's become pretty successful. And my question is, I'm looking at having a profit in my business around $200,000 at the end of the year. And I'm wondering what to do with that money if I, and that's after retained earnings of around $200,000. And so I'm trying to figure out what to do with the money if I should. I've had three options come to mind, and one of those would be to pay off my house or use it to pay off my house. Another would be to open a SEP IRA. And then the last one would be maybe put in an account to save to purchase farm ground. So I just want to get your thoughts on that.

Okay. Well, before I purchase farm ground, I pay off my house, and I'm assuming you're debt-free other than your home? I'm debt-free other than the home and the business and personally. Other than a home and a business. What do you owe on the business? I don't owe anything on the business. The business is debt-free as well.

Oh, okay. I misunderstood the way you phrased that. Okay. And, all right, so you're 100% debt-free, not counting your mortgage. Good. And you have other savings, I assume. Yes. The business currently has around $200,000 in retained earnings.

Yeah, and do you have a personal emergency fund of three to six months of expenses? Yes. Good. Okay, that's what we call baby step three. You're out of debt and you have your emergency fund. Then the next thing you would do is make sure you're putting 15% of your household income away for retirement, so that might involve the SEP. The next thing is kids' college. That's baby step five. I'd begin to work on that if that applies in this situation.

And then baby step six is pay off your house. So that's going to lead us pretty quickly to paying off your house. What do you owe on your home? A little bit under $300,000. Okay. So you would pay it off how, if you had $200,000 coming out of the business? Well, I mean, if it's chunked down on it, I wouldn't be able to pay it off completely. You could if you pulled $100,000 out of retained earnings. Well, because of being in agriculture, I don't get paid very sporadically. So there's a lot of times I have to cash flow out of that $200,000,

maybe $100,000 a month at times, and then sometimes less than that. That's only two months then. Sometimes. Well, I mean, one month might be $100,000, but then on average it averages out to about two hundred thousand for six months okay all right so that that's that's that's setting you up to keep the business running then all right that's not it's not free retained earnings it's our already spoken for i got you okay that makes sense well no yeah well it's above what i

normally i don't have to touch it most of the time because of what's coming in, but if it was a catastrophic something I got, you know, something happened and I lost, you know, it would be kind of an emergency fund for the business. I don't normally touch it. Okay. Well, I'm moving towards paying off the house as fast as I possibly can. So if you chunk it on the house, then we need to find that other $100,000 pretty quick and get that house finished off. That's my only goal here.

But, yeah, that's the answer is I'm going to pay it right down the line on that. That would be the game plan. So, Dave, talk to me about what's retained earnings. Savings account in business. Oh, okay. And so he's using it for an emergency fund in his case uh but obviously it's um you know it's more than just a rainy day fund uh and for business you can use it for expanding you could use it for buying another business or buying a piece of equipment you could use it for

covering a cash flow drain which is what he's worried about he's worried about a situation where he continues to have to write checks but doesn't have the money to do it, and he has to have some money to do that or he'll go in debt. Is there a tax break or something for calling and retained earnings versus savings? No. It's just a fancy way of saying savings account. No, I get taxed every year on it. Okay.

Whatever I add to my business savings account, the IRS considers it personal money, and I get to pay taxes on it, so it is reduced by tax amount every year. Yeah, it's no fun at all yeah that's the part where they love small businesses and we always laugh you know when you say congress loves small business horse crap oh but by hanging on to some money to make sure your business continues to run you get taxed on holding it yeah yeah that's exactly right i didn't take it home buy something with it i left it in here to keep it running keep all these jobs afloat, but I get to pay taxes on it. So, yeah, that's bogus, but it's been that way always. So, no, it's not going to change.

Jessica is with us. Jessica's in Jacksonville, Florida. Hi, Jessica. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave and Dr. D. My question is I've been feeling kind of lost after separation from husband, and I'm back in my hometown, and I just feel lost. Separation from husband. Are you divorced? I'm having a hard time pulling the trigger on that one.

We were about to sign the papers, and we even had paid the lawyer and just had the pen to the paper and just kind of said well let's just do the separation first kind of thing so we're just doing that first and then probably be divorced before the end of the year so what what's the of course you're going to feel lost because you've you're in this limbo now why did you decide to hang on for a second even though it sounds like you already know where this where this how the story ends i'm not sure everything was so hard to let go of like you know when you got you know your kidney you got the tooth that's coming out some of them come out just real clean with no blood and then you got the one that just really bloody it was just so it's like the second one just felt real emotional and messy and I don't know,

just having a real hard time letting go of both of us. So why did you decide to get divorced? Just certain lifestyle choices that my husband's making kind of, and so kind of pushed me into the corner of having to do it and everything. And it's just hard to let go. So why don't you trust Jessica? I don't know. I think because, yeah, I feel like a loser.

Like I can't do anything right. Like no choice I make is right. I try and try to make the right choice, and everything kind of turns out wrong all the time. So one of the most – Not everything. I do make some good choices. No, I hear you. One of the most devastating things when a relationship is falling apart

and someone's making choices that impacts the choices that impacts their wife or their husband. Someone cheats on somebody. Someone steals or does something that starts to melt a relationship. We often mourn the loss of that relationship, but the part that goes unspoken for is that we also lose trust in ourselves. I thought I was wise, and how did I make this decision? So Jessica, you're going to feel untethered until you put a period at the end of this sentence and you can begin moving on with your life.

And anytime you stump your toe and you fall down and your hands get scratched, you wonder if you know how to walk. That would be a normal human reaction to lose some confidence. So you're not as dumb as you feel like you are right this second. The opposite. Nowhere near it. You're very wise.

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