The Ramsey Show - App - I Thought Debt Would Be the End of Our Marriage (Hour 2)

Episode Date: March 25, 2021

Debt, Relationships Sign Up for a FREE trial of Ramsey+ TODAY: https://bit.ly/31ricKt  Tools to get you started:  Debt Calculator: https://bit.ly/2QIoSPV Insurance Coverage Checkup: https://bit.ly/2BrqEuo Complete Guide to Budgeting: https://bit.ly/2QEyonc Check out more Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/2JgzaQR

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the Dollar Car Rental Studios, it's the Ramsey Show, where debt is dumb, cash is king, and the paid-off home mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as the status symbol of choice. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, expert on careers, and you getting your next job is my co-host today. So we'll talk about your careers. We'll talk about your life so we'll talk about your careers we'll talk about your life we'll talk about your money all right in front of you the phone number is 888-825-5225 888-825-5225 mike is with us in new york city to start off this hour hey mike how are you i'm doing well dave and yourself better than i deserve sir how can i help all right so uh essentially i had a you know a couple questions uh i i graduated from college

here on may of 20 i'm a pandemic grad didn't get to have graduation but i think they mailed me the diploma, so I guess that counts. So I racked up about 146,000 undergrads. Twenty-three of that was public. The rest was private. It gave me anxiety in college. You know, I got out. I was fortunate enough to get a job out of school. I refinanced the private one twice, down from about 7% to like 3.38%. So that's great.

You made some good moves there. Good. What's your degree in? Finance. So I work in financial services. So I have for the last nine months. So I live at home. So luckily I was, you know, fortunate enough to discover

your program, uh, as a young person with a lot of debt and fresh out of school. Um, you know, I got, you know, like I said, I got a job and, uh, I make about a post tax about 3,500 a month. Uh, of that I'll put 1450 bi-weekly towards the debt. So about 2,900 a month. Of that, I'll put $1,450 bi-weekly towards the debt. So about $2,900 a month, and then they give me a little bit, about $2,000 a year. So it's about a little over $3,000 a month I pay back. So in nine months, I've paid off probably $32,000. It sounded like $114,000, so I probably paid off like $32,000. Good for you. Yeah, that's good. That's good. So my question for you essentially is a couple things.

You know, I don't want to live at home, like, for a long time. I have a long-distance girlfriend who's four hours away, and I'd like to be closer to her at some point. My question to you is something I wrangle with, right, is I have a good situation here. I'm able to shove a at some point. My question to you is something I wrangle with, right? I have a good situation here. I'm able to shove a lot of money. But I also feel like if I move out, I elongate my timeline because I'm not paying rent.

I am fortunate enough to have that. So I wrestle with, like, do I stay at home? Am I stunting my personal growth? Should I go and chase? Like, I went to school down south. I'd love to live down south but like also that encouraged rent and other expenses and things like that so i'm just torn like whether to stay at home on 25 26 at the blistering pace where's the uh where's the girlfriend

she lives in dc okay is that where you're talking about going is that down south for you? No, no, no, no. I'd like to go to a southern city like Charlotte, Charleston, Nashville, something like that. Charlotte and Nashville are both really strong financial centers. So you don't make a lot of money. I'm kind of surprised. But, I mean, are you on some kind of quick upward track with your career? Yeah, I mean, you know, I humbly, I expect to be promoted in the next, like, three to six months.

Yeah. What exactly are you doing? Essentially, it's basically a financial advisor training program. So get licensed. Oh, okay. So you're running on a stipend until you get a client-based bill. Yeah, essentially. So it's more of like an assistant to the person.

Then once you get some traction, then you start talking to people. Hey, Mike, what's your payoff date right now if you stay at home? If I stay at home? If I stay at home with about a hundred, so quick math say, I always like to, you know, what is it, hoping for the best but expecting the worst. Like, if I just stayed at this salary, right,

it would be, and I pay bi-weekly, it's about $40,000 a year, so it's about two and a half years. If I pay bi-weekly, and I can confidently say that i'm like trying to do it in two years like yeah but mike you're over analyzing this man bottom line is you got to weigh the two and a half years if you stay home stay where you are and you know your income's going to go up so you've done kind of your least amount of income

scenario yeah so if you move south or dc whatever that looks like you start making more money you just got to start running the numbers and really truly look at how much more would it elongate using your words it won't i don't think it's very much at all i don't think it's much at all because and so here's what amounts to do i put my entire life on hold for two and a half years including uh stepping out as an adult and having my own place? Or do I step into some of these things, like a new position, and you start shopping for that, use Ken Coleman's materials, and land that in the city that you want to be in, and making even more or the chance to make the same

but at a lower cost of living than New York City and the New York City market, whatever it is. And so, because Charlotte is less living than New York City and the New York City market, whatever it is. And so because Charlotte is less expensive than New York City or the area around New York City, for sure, or Nashville would be or Dallas would be. So, yeah, I think you've got to make these moves. And the truth is that what will happen inside of your soul will cause you to make more money because you're living your life, man. And instead of like, you know, I'm just, you know, you're getting caught up in addition type math

rather than multiplication type math. Yeah, it's really well said and so i i want you know because i think when you you know engage this relationship with this lady you uh engage your dreams uh you are on your own you're out there leaving the cave kill something drag it home you're going to blossom in ways you're not going to blossom in your other scenario that are going to affect your income and so the net net is probably not any elongation but even if it is so what do it anyway yeah we're talking about a small amount of time as young as you are here's the other thing you're not married you got the long distance girlfriend work a second job yeah knock the baby steps i mean get after it man and i think that two and a half years can shrink substantially if you get after it.

Yeah. The safe course is seldom the best course. Yes. I say that all the time. We have a world, Dave, that we've been trained to do the safe, smart decision. And I got a bunch of adults who call the Ken Coleman Show every day that did safe and smart, and they're miserable at 35 and 45. And what I mean by that, to explain that to you folks,

is that we get taught that we've got to go to the safe college, get the safe major, to get a safe job. Well, if you're not more attractive to this young lady when you're out there on your own in the wild swinging, you're certainly more attractive to her dad. That is great perspective there. I didn't see that, but that's a very good point. That's a really good point.

So you come in and sit down at my table, ask for my daughter's hand in marriage, and you're in your mama's basement, or you're out there swinging, and you're scared to death, and you're fighting, and you're scratching, and you're clawing. It's a different conversation, Bubba. That might be two out of three strikes with Dave Ramsey, I know. And you could feel it in his voice.

He was kind of looking for permission for us to go, can I fly? He was already going. We just need to kick him the rest of the way out of the nest. Fly, little bird. Fly, baby, fly. His mama's going to be so mad at me. Yes.

This is the Dave Ramsey Show. Oh, no, it's not. It's the Ramsey Show. Have you ever wondered how to save more money or pay off debt faster? What about the right way to invest? Listen, I've been there, asking the same questions with no idea where to turn for answers. But here's the good news. You don't have to keep searching for answers. Ramsey Plus will guide you every step of the way so you always know what to do with money next. Ramsey Plus is our step-by-step plan that shows you how to get consistent small wins with money and even some big ones so you can see exactly how you're making progress.

Then we can help you turn all those wins into better habits that last. You can be confident you're doing the right thing with money. And that means no more payments, cash in the the bank for emergencies and a plan for your future get started today with a free trial of ramsey plus at daveramsey.com daveramsey.com that's daveramsey.com ken coleman ramsey personality is my co-host today here on The Ramsey Show. If you feel like you've tried everything when it comes to money, but you can't seem to get traction, I know the feeling. A lot of people do.

Maybe you tried budgeting, but you couldn't figure it out. Or you got big money goals, and you're not sure how to reach them. You may need a financial coach, someone who can help you understand what's holding you back, develop a custom plan to reach your goals, and we've got a network of financial coaches all across the country who are ready to work with you. They're called Ramsey Preferred Coaches. These financial coaches are trained the Ramsey way. Not only will they guide you with a personal plan, they'll help you form the right habits

to win with money. Now, let us help you form the right habits to win with money now let us help you find the right coach for you we'll connect you with the top three coaches in your area and you get to choose which one you want to work with it's time to make progress with your finances stop wanting to reach your money goes and start doing it to get started text coach me to 33789. Text COACHME, all one word, to 33789. Grace is with us in Kansas City. She's in Northland Christian High School's personal finance class with our curriculum. Hey, guys, how are you, class? Oh, he's saying hi to class.

Okay, hold on. I'm not on speakerphone. Oh, that's okay. That's okay. I love it. All, hold on. I'm not on speakerphone. Oh, that's okay. That's okay. I love it. All right, Ms. Grace, how can we help? All right, so we've been watching your content in our class for quite a bit, and we thought it would be fun to call you.

So our little question we came up with was if your spouse is in a pretty financially, like pretty financially unstable situation and you're not, what's a good plan? What's a good place to start to handle that? Okay. So that's a weird question for people in high school, but that's okay. I still like it. It's a good question.

Well, to start with, what we would teach people to do is to get on the same page with each other so that one of you is not carrying the other one and one of you is not holding the other one back. In other words, there's not her money and his money. It's our money. And so whatever money comes in, we are going to manage it together, and we are going to agree on a plan. And we both have a vote on where that money is going to manage it together and we are going to agree on a plan we both have a vote on where that

money's going to go and we are going to stick to the plan that we agreed to and suddenly the one that is struggling with stability has the other one for accountability and the one that was trying to drag along the one who was unstable is no longer doing that because they now have a willing participant helping them, you know, and working together. And so, for instance, sometimes what happens is, not sometimes, almost always what happens is one is more of a spender than the other. I'm the bigger spender at my house. My wife's more of a natural saver.

And so it did our marriage a lot of good 30 years ago for us to be on the same page and be in agreement on any spending that was going to occur before it occurred. So I don't buy things without my wife knowing it ahead of time and without us being in agreement on the purchase. And she doesn't buy things without me knowing it. So we're on the same page. And I know, Ken, you and Stacey do the same thing. Absolutely. And the key phrase here that Dave just shared is willing participant. Those two things, we get these calls a lot on the Ramsey Show.

We've counseled and coached a lot of couples where we'll have a caller who will call in and say, Hey, Dave, I'm using your steps, but my spouse isn't. How do I get? This willing participant piece is really huge. That getting on the same page about finances is a relationship issue. And many times you've got to get healthy and get that relationship where it needs to be to where both people are seeing this desired future and seeing how handling your money God's ways is the way to do it. And so that is always key. You've got to be on the same page.

And sometimes relationally, you've got to handle that first to be able to then take care of the money stuff. Yeah. So, Grace, since I've got the Northland Christian High School curriculum finance class, the whole finance class from the Foundations in Personal Finance captive, let's kind of go, let's turn the question a little bit and take it all the way more, make it more relevant for you guys. Because the vast majority of you are not married, I suppose.

Okay. And so what it amounts to is this. We know statistically from doing this for decades that the number one cause of divorce in North America today is money fights and money problems we know the number one thing couples fight about which of course then leads to divorce oftentimes is money fights and money problems so if we know that this is the number one enemy of your future marriage when you are dating this is the number one thing you're going to make sure you're on the same page on before you become spouses ding ding ding there it is so you so you know if you cannot if you know you're getting ready to marry you ladies are getting ready to marry a guy who just doesn't like to work much in other words he's a lazy hound dog okay and he's not he's always gonna struggle but he's an artist and he's fun yeah and he's a he's a bad boy or

whatever it is that you think he's attractive ha ha right but at the end of the day you know when you're 30 you're still going to be supporting this bozo this is this guy's not marriage material guys if you're dating a girl and she's a freaking princess and she thinks the whole world revolves around her and she can spend whatever she wants to spend like she's in congress because her daddy always gave her more money than she had since and he had since and you think you can keep up with that with your income starting a new household you're screwed man you're not going to you're never going to make that little princess happy and she's always going to make you broke so if you can't get on the same page while you're

dating moving towards marriage about money that is the ultimate reason to not get married to not continue the relationship yep i think it's absolutely right dave i would tell josie i would tell chase and tie the same thing it ought to be non-negotiable if this is what you believe about money what we teach and you really believe it then it has to be uh it's a foundational issue before you even think about marriage yeah because it's it can it be done? Have we seen marriages change? After the fact, yes. But why not avoid the pain? Avoid the pain.

I think that's great advice. So, again, you don't have to worry about this in high school, but later on when you're entering more serious relationships that are going to lead to marriage, do not go forward with those if you're not paired on this issue if you can't get agreement that this is how we're going to live our life we're not going to spend like we're in congress we're not going to buy cars we can't afford and once we can pay cash for them we're not going to we're always going to have money saved we're going to live on a plan we're both going to be in agreement we're going to combine our finances these are these are things that indicate that you're working together going forward.

You will save yourself, young people, an amazing amount of heartache if you don't try to train your spouse after marriage. That's true. And here's the other thing. Don't just talk to them about it and settle for the, yeah, yeah, I'm fine with that. If you're going to get serious, now we're talking about down the road, as Dave's talking about, if you're going to get serious, before you say yes or you ask, look at their finances. Get them to show you. Again, somebody's got something to hide, won't show you.

Yeah. I'm just telling you that. Somebody who's a mess right now and saying all the things, but their actual current personal finances are a mess, that's a red flag. I mean, I've got to tell you. I don't mind if they're in a mess. I don't even mind if they're in debt as long as they're working their tail off to get it straightened out.

That's correct. That they're actually acting on it, not giving you speak. We are not saying don't marry someone with debt. No, we're not saying that. We're saying don't marry someone who loves debt if you hate debt because you're going to hate each other before it's over. It's not going to work. And so, you know, you need to be on the same page with that.

And the marriage folks in the marriage field, and Dr. John Deloney confirms this, that there's tons of research that backs up the other three areas, by the way, while we're in this, that you need to be in agreement on prior to marriage are religion, kids, whether to have them, how many, and how to treat them them and how to deal with the crazy people in your family the in-laws and there are crazy people in your family and if you don't think there's crazy people in your family that means it's you because everyone has crazy people somewhere in their family and so there you go yeah you need to be in agreement on, you know, boundaries, kids, religion, and money.

And if you can lay those things in place as a healthy dating relationship, your statistical chance of that marriage working out is very, very high. It's true. And of it being high-quality marriage. Yeah, don't discount it, folks. I'm telling you, Dave's right on this.

I mean, you've got to know what's non-negotiable. Yeah. How does life work? I don't believe there's a God. I hate God. I'm mad at God. I'm mad at people

who think there's a God. And the other one is I worship Jesus 24-7. This ain't going to work out, boys and girls. It will not. Missionary dating doesn't work. I'm sorry.

Sorry. It's just the realary dating doesn't work. I'm sorry. Sorry. It's just the real world. And you can get mad and tweet about me. I don't look on Twitter anyways. Just have at it. This is The Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Johnny and Holly are with us from Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. Says on my screen, you guys are debt-free.

Congratulations. Thank you. Well done. How much have you paid off? Around $59,000. $59,000. How long did this take? 15 months.

15 months. And your range of income during that time? $108,000. Okay, cool. So, Camp Leje your range of income during that time? $108. Okay, cool. So, Camp Lejeune, are you in the military? Yes, sir. Thank you for your service. What do you do?

I do supply chain management. Ah, very nice. Great career field. Good for you. Good. Fun, fun, fun. All right, what kind of debt was this $59,000? Well, let's just say um mainly credit cards um we owed a little bit like 2500 on one of our cars um and then some to student

loans but it was mainly a shopping problem on my end oh yeah i'm gonna come right out with it i'm just gonna start with this all right just dive right in here. So tell me what happened. Well, I just remember one evening looking over at my husband. We have a really good marriage. We're a really good fit. But I just looked over at him, and it was the same scene I'd seen at the end of the month every month, just his head in his hands, looking over our finances, shaking his head like, how are we living month to month on

this income and i really thought it was going to be the end of our marriage um yeah eventually not i mean we were still in a place but eventually it would have led to our demise saw the beginning of the end yeah absolutely yeah wow so what'd you do you said hey johnny we got to fix this. And he went, no kidding. Yeah. So I had read your book, The Total Money Makeover in 2015. I was kind of doing day dish, but then Holly got on board and we set a budget and we stick with the budget. And that helped a lot yeah that's everything right there okay so once you decide holly says she's going to go along with it and

then you decide we're going to do the whole program boom you start getting traction right yes 15 months i'm looking at this pink sheet with all these names on here that I don't like. Wells Fargo, Chase, MBNA, Navient. These are good people to have out of your life, aren't they? Absolutely. Yeah. And I like the big lines drawn through them. It's showing on the YouTube channel here. I'm seeing it.

That was my favorite part. Johnny got to press submit on all the online stuff. I just like to cross off the debts as we went. That sat on a refrigerator for the whole world to see anybody that came in our house that was up on display. We had no shame at that point. Yeah. The only shame is if it stays there.

We're getting rid of it. Yeah. And that's game on. Game on. Which one of those, when you paid them off, you said, I hate you people. I'm so glad you're gone. I'll let Johnny answer that. I would say it was the student loans, Dave. Being in the military, TA paid for my tuition, but I still got student loans somehow.

And it was a blessing to get, you know, the student loans out of my life. Amen, amen. Well, congratulations. I'm so proud of you guys. Thank you. So well done. How old are you two? 36.

Okay. Okay. to you guys so well done how old are you two 36 okay okay so in the last 15 months holly you've reshaped your whole brain around money and you guys have joined into your marriage in a completely different way y'all talk about that for a minute well i would just say um we both worked um i was working up until recently we're about to move, um, I would just check our bank account, you know, and if like, I don't know, I had a set number, if there was $700 in there, it was like, okay, I can still shop. Um, once it got under 700, I just asked Johnny, like, Hey, how are we doing for money? Um, and then once we started with this Dave Ramsey, I knew every single bill coming out. I actually had some things auto paid on my credit card that I didn't even know I'd been paying for for the last two years that was eye-opening wow um what was that sorry what what was that where were the two auto things i had like this karaoke app that i was paying for

oh my god it was like 25 a month that i had signed that's the ultimate of insults yes oh man i love it congratulations you guys this is a great story i'm so proud of y'all there's a there's a sense here that that not only has your marriage been impacted but that you did some growing up and you just like stepped into a whole not level of adulthood. Do you feel that way? Absolutely, and we've been very forward with sharing our story. We've always put our numbers out there. Johnny will tell everyone that stands still in front of him for more than three seconds about you and how you've changed his life. Oh, man.

So, you know, if you're around Johnny Hang, you've heard about his financial wins, and he wants everybody he comes in contact with to win, too. Well, thank you, Johnny, and thank you again for your service. It's a pretty cool story, Ken. It really is. When we looked at that list on the YouTube channel, we got to see the debt snowball right there on your sheet of paper. That's some serious payments that you guys paid off in 15 months. That's getting with it.

I'd love to hear some of the sacrifices. What did gazelle intents actually look like in your home? Well, a lot of it, oh goodness, eating out. No restaurants. That was huge. Actually, keeping track of our food budget. That was another really big one. And just, you know, when we made our plan every month, we stuck to it. You know, EveryDollar app was amazing for helping keep us on track. We didn't do cash. We did everything with our debit card and using the EveryDollar app.

Wow. So this is a situation where you didn't get any more income. The income didn't increase. You just really budgeted and made it work. Yes. Yes. That's inspiring. You know, Johnny being in the military, I was working for a non-for-profit that I absolutely loved.

I loved my job. And neither one of us wanted to take, you know, more time away from our kids to do other, you know, other side hustles or anything like that. So it was just mainly just behavior changes. So the military moving you now, you said you're getting ready to move again. Yeah. Yes. Do you know where you're going yet? We're going to Boston.

Ah, okay. Another adventure. Well, well done, you guys. I'm so proud of you. We've got a copy of Rachel Cruz's book for you. I love your, or no, I try to say it here. Know yourself, know your money. Absolutely.

As if I didn't write the foreword. Okay, so that's it. And so you hang on. We'll have Kelly pick up and get that to you. If she hadn't already, we'll take good care of you and i know you guys were scheduled to be over here and we had the uh the nash blizzard uh event over here and you got snowed out on that uh and sorry that happened but we're glad we got you on the phone to do your debt-free scream you guys are great inspiration well done thank you all right it's johnny and holly in camp lejeune north carolina 59 000 paid off in 15 months making 108 000 a year count it down let's hear a debt-free scream

three two one we're debt-free! Yeah! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Well done! Oh, that's amazing. Beautifully done. Beautifully done. That's an inspiring thing right there. For a lot of you spouses out there listening to this right now,

if you are the holly in that relationship whether you're the husband or the wife but you're the one that your spouse does the money and you've looked over like she looked over and saw johnny's head in his hands so many times shaking his head knowing i don't know how we're going to do this what the gift she gave herself the gift she gave him the gift she gave herself, the gift she gave him, the gift she gave to her kid's future, when she looked over and saw that and said, I value this family and its future more than I do my selfish right to spend like I'm in Congress. I'm going to work with my husband, my wife, and get this stuff done. That gift, when she raised her chin and did that, she stepped into a whole different level of emotional maturity, spiritual maturity than she had ever seen before. And it's blessed her family. No question.

You know, it's just another reminder that you do what you have to do so you can do what you want to do. And sometimes we've got to say no to the want and do the right thing. And in this case, it was her relationship. And not just the financial piece of it, but just the legacy. You think of the, you know, we saw the picture of those two little beautiful girls. Oh. I mean, they're aware of all this. You know, these kids, you know, Rachel has said many times.

They can feel the tension in the room. More is caught than taught, and they saw a transformation go on. Those kids are picking that stuff up. So great legacy, great legacy for those two. It's a wonderful story of transformation. You see, what happens is it's not really about the money. No. It's about the person in your mirror. And it transforms

you. You are changing. And then guess what? Magically, the money changes. Go figure. This is the Ramsey Show. Thank you. taxes everybody's got to do them everybody hates them except for weird people nobody wants to screw with us but with ramsey smart tax you finally have an easy money smart way to file online the other software out there it's not what it's cracked up to be it is free you say yeah no turbo tax is not free. For the vast majority

of people who use it, they sign you up and then they ratchet up the price and suddenly free turns into $50 or $60 or $120. And of course, they're going to jack you around and try to get you in 63 different credit cards while they're at it. We don't do any of that. The cost to file a federal tax return with Ramsey SmartTax

is crystal clear. It's $17 or $37, depending on the level of support you need or want, plus $32 if you have to file state taxes. And some folks don't. Like in Tennessee, we don't have state tax. Income tax. But listen, it's not just about the cost. Our software and our support will go toe-to-toe with TurboTax any day of the week and will never leverage your financial situation to sell your credit cards

or to sell you ridiculous loans. We're not going to peddle stuff at you that's going to hurt your finances. Sign up for SmartTax for free. Take a look around the software. You won't pay a thing until you're confident that you got your taxes right and you're ready to click File. Text TAX to 33-789. That's TAX to 33-789.

David is in Lexington, Kentucky. Hi, David. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Hi, Dave. How are you doing? Good. How can Ken and I help? Okay.

I'm going to try to make this as clear as I possibly can so I don't use a lot of time. The situation is we have a family member that owns their own home, but due to some bad business choices when she had a previous business, she got into about $100,000 worth of debt with the IRS and about $25,000 in back property taxes. So we're just trying to see if this ship can even keep from being sunk due to this if we were to try to help. What is the house worth? The house is estimated at around $190,000. Okay.

And so what does this person do for a living now that their business has failed? She works for a tile and marble company. I mean, what kind of money does she make? Roughly around $50,000 a year. Okay. What's wrong with selling the house and her renting and starting her life over? Well, that's what we was, the last reason why I was calling you to see if that would possibly be the best outcome. Well, the IRS is going to take a lien against it. Okay.

If they haven't already, and the property taxes are a natural lien against it. Yes. You know, she's lost this money, and I don't, unless you haven't proposed another way for her to pay this all back. Has she got some other hidden gem somewhere that she could clear this up and keep this house? See, that I don't think so, Dave. I don't either. I don't think you'd have been calling me. Yeah, yeah.

And that's the reason why before we tried to get on board, we don't want to get on board. How are you getting on board? Well, she had asked me to possibly purchase the home. And her live in it? Yes. It's a home up above, and then there's an apartment below. Yeah. So, you know, I'm calling someone with all the knowledge that I know that this is going to steer me in the best direction.

Do you not think that that's going to end poorly? Probably. Yeah. Probably. I think we're delaying the inevitable, and it might be that you end up being the enemy at the end of this story, and I don't want you to be the villain when this is over. Yeah. You know, at my age, I'm 62. I don't really want i don't want you to be the villain when this is over yeah you know and at my age i'm 62 i don't really want to incur that much debt um at this time in my life you know i'm trying oh you would have to go into debt to buy it

yeah well some debt yeah um you know that pretty much answers that answers the question then doesn't it yeah yeah so the best thing for her is to take the extra cash above the IRS and above the property taxes that this house will yield and use that to start her life again and to start moving towards another home purchase someday soon. And let's put her into Financial Peace University and Ramsey Plus. I'll pay for it and help her get her hands around money. We've all done stupid things that brought pain into our life and she has done that and it's really sad but we really can't keep the pain from happening it's going to happen and that's what that's what this move is she's trying to keep from experiencing the pain that she's already signed up for. Yeah.

Yeah. And you're going to go down with it is the problem. So now I would ask her to sell the house, but not to you. You know that this isn't the right move. Every time we ask you, it's like asking you, do you want to put your hand in a bear trap? You'd say no. So, you know, like, come on.

I understand what's happening. You're a good dude, and your heart feels for her. But this is pain that, number one, Dave, she can get out of. And she should get out of, and he should not take her pain on. Yeah. It doesn't serve any purpose. No. It's a real clean transaction to just tell her to get with a real estate ELP.

And hang on. I'll have Kelly pick up, and we'll hook her up with Ramsey Plus for a year and let her go through Financial Peace University. Let's be part of her healing and her rebuilding. Yeah, cheer her on. Rather than part of her denial, which in a sense, this is financial denial. We're participating in her acting like this didn't happen. Total bailout.

Yeah. Buy my house and let me live in it. And let me live in it. And then I've still got all these same habits and all the same problems. No, I think issues are on the way. Linda's in Springfield, Massachusetts. Hi, Linda. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. I'm a new devotee. I've discovered you. You're the only gift Show. Hi, Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. I'm a new devotee. I've discovered you. You're the only gift of COVID I've discovered. When I started working from home, I started listening every single day. Every single day from, you know, 2 to 5, I have YouTube on,

and I've been listening every single day. Thank you. I'd also like to give a shout-out to the live chat gang on Ramsey Show on the YouTube channel. Yeah. Because I trip in there every so often. So my question is, I'm almost at the end of Baby Step 3 because I've been really, you know, trying to implement your plan. Right.

But I'm also in your age group. I'm 62 and nearing, you know, the age of retirement. I have a condo that needs, I've been in it 20 plus, 20 so years or so, and it needs a bit of work in different areas. Now, pre-Dave, I would have gone to the bank and taken out a loan and then hired somebody and said, I got this much money, do what you can, you know, like, here's my list, you know, and do it. But since I'm going to be cash flowing these things, I was wondering if you could help me with order of operations as far as hitting repairs and rentals.

I don't want to have somebody come in and say, I want to put some additional ambient lighting in, replace my kitchen floor, replace my kitchen cabinets. What I would do is get bids on these individual things, and the bids need to include two things. One is the price of the thing you're wanting to do, and so you've got a price to save for, a target to save for. And then the second thing you want is how long the repair is going to take. And so, you know, if ambient lighting is, lighting is i don't i'll make up a number a

thousand bucks and it takes two days that's one level of repair kitchen cabinets and floor might be 15 000 bucks and three weeks i don't know i'm making up numbers but the different repairs are going to take longer and cost more and so you want to kind of stage those in and then you can develop kind of a project list. And then that's your savings list. That's your goal list that you're saving up money to knock out. And if you can just prioritize it and think it through, but do it with real numbers. Go ahead and get bids on the different items and keep them separate. Don't make it one big project. Yeah, I agree. And you know what I found, and again, she didn't say anything about selling

this thing, but it's always a good idea to get with a Ramsey, one of our real estate professionals, and just have them come in or talk to them and say, hey, what are some good changes to make that always put me in a good position? Sometimes we want to do things, but it may not matter that much. So when you're thinking about that, too, think about resale or, you know, some more value. Spend money on things that will help it go up in value and help it sell, not things that don't move the needle at all and are very expensive. So that's the other thing you want to do with that. Yeah, just make you a good incremental project list,

and then you can arrange it in whatever order you choose with the help of the contractor. Good question, Linda. We're honored to have you in the audience. Congratulations on your success. This is the Ramsey Show. This is James Childs, producer of The Ramsey Show. You can listen to all our shows with the Ramsey Network app on your smartphone. Browse by topic or even sing clips to your friends. Download the Ramsey Network app

in your favorite app store today.